Characters / Black Books

Bernard Ludwig Black

Played By: Dylan Moran

The reclusive owner of the eponymous bookstore. He is a misanthropic, pessimistic, belligerent Irish alcoholic who hates both the job and the customers.

• The Alcoholic: He drinks so much alcohol that his entire demeanor gives off the impression of a slurring drunk.
• Alliterative Name: Bernard Black.
• Badass Bookworm: Bernard is capable writing a 1,000 page novel with a deeply complex plot, characters and themes in the space of one night using two typewriters. He also throws knives and shoots miniature crossbows at invisible monsters.
• Bad Boss: He forces Manny to do all of the work, never praises him, demeans him all he can, and hardly pays him.
• Berserk Button: Manny just beginning to use the word "party" as a verb causes Bernard to become instantly furious and threatening.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: He can write a thousand-page novel in one night and is obviously very well-read but is fairly content to just sit around drunk and bitter.
• Burger Fool: In a season 1 episode... for about three minutes.
• Buy or Get Lost: The only kind of customer that Bernard tolerates is the kind that buys something and then leaves immediately.
  • Although, Bernard doesn't seem to care whether people buy things or not; he just wants everyone out of the shop. In fact, he gets angry when Manny manages to successfully sell books since it means that he has to order more.
• Cold Ham: There's something compelling about Bernard's slurring madness. Crosses over to Large Ham whenever he flies off the handle.
• The Cynic: He makes Dr House look like a fluffy optimist.
  • Nietzsche Wannabe: "This is life. We suffer and slave and expire. That's it".
• Deadpan Snarker: He has a very bitter and cynical sense of humor and can deliver some very cutting insults, mainly towards Manny and his customers.
• Establishing Character Moment: The first scene of the first episode establishes his ecentricity and misanthropy in several ways:
  • He sticks a post-it note that says "ON PHONE" to his forehead rather than having to speak to a customer, then comes up with a flimsy excuse not to help the customer because he felt the customer treated him rudely (the customer asks if some books are leather-bound since he wants them to match some other books on his bookcase — Bernard retorts that he'll only accept the transaction in leather-bound pounds that match his wallet).
  • When Manny enters the shop having an anxiety attack and requests a copy of "The Little Book of Calm", Bernard spends as long as possible processing the transaction, prolonging the attack.
  • After Manny leaves the shop, Bernard concludes "What a strange man...", before picking up a megaphone, shouting "RIGHT, THE SHOP IS CLOSED, EVERONE GET OUT!" and chasing the customers out with a broom.
• Extreme Omnivore: Things Bernard Black has ingested — a coaster, slug pellets, oven cleaner, a jar of coffee, a teacup — are less about nutrition and more absentmindedness, dead tastebuds and rage.
• Fighting Irish: While not outright after a fight, Bernard often resorts to violence at the slightest provocation.
• Freudian Excuse: Averted. He claims his girlfriend dying is one but, given that she faked her death to get away from him, it's likely he wasn't all that much better before. Or he may have gone into Sickening Sweethearts mode like he did with Alice.
• The Gambling Addict: A little flutter on the Grand Nationals horse races gets him hooked for life. Or for the episode, at least.
• Genius Slob: Extremely well-read but too drunk and misanthropic to apply himself. His hygiene is so poor that the suit he wears only appears to be black when it is in fact an exceptionally dirty white suit.
  • Shown that he cares more about books than people in the first episode when he denies selling a man some books because he doesn't care about the stories, but rather just their leather-bound covers.
• Grammar Nazi: Occasionally.
  Manny: Let's par—
  Bernard: DON'T YOU DARE USE THE WORD 'PARTY' AS A VERB IN THIS SHOP!

• The Illegible: In "Manny's First Day," even he can't read most of his own list of rules for the bookstore.
• Jerkass: Short-tempered and insulting toward everyone around him to a fault, and even sabotages Manny's social life out of spite.

• Kavorka Man: Subverted, he gets girls, but they disappear pretty quickly once they catch a glimpse of how much of a sleazebag he is.
• Lethal Chef: Bernard has managed to smoke away his entire sense of smell, which at one point leads him to confuse a coaster for a biscuit. His cooking skills reflect this — in the episode where he tries to convert the bookshop into a restaurant, he ends up giving all the customers food poisoning.
• The Lost Lenore: A great part of Bernard's cynical outlook stems from the loss of his beloved several years prior to the show. She is, unbeknownst to him, very much alive and happy to be away from him.
• Manchild: You wonder how he keeps the place going for so long. The man has the maturity of a 6-year-old.
• Meaningful Name: His surname "Black" matches his dark, cynical personality.
• Messy Hair: To the point it has edible mushrooms in it. Manny also cuts clumps of it off with a bread knife.
• Named After Somebody Famous: Got his middle name in Beethoven's honor.
• The Nicknamer: Calls Manny by a variety of names, including Bigfoot, Gandalf, and Thor.
• No Social Skills: "Do you eat? I do. ...Would you like to do it in the same room sometime?"

• Not a Morning Person: He's never been awake by 10:30 in the morning, let alone opened his shop by then.
• Oireland: Bernard is possibly the least Oirish person to ever fit this trope. Still, many of the elements are there, such as the love of alcohol (though Bernard's favored tipple is wine, not beer), the readiness for violence and the Irishisms (though less "Top of the mornin'" and more "Stick it up yer feckin' hole"). He is also shown to speak at least some Gaelic.
• The Pig-Pen: Bernard's hygiene standard is practically non-existent. He rarely cleans himself up and is quite content with living in his own filth. That black suit he always wears is actually an exceptionally dirty white suit.
• Smoking Is Cool: Averted. He smokes like an industrial chimney but his immature personality and drunkenness negate any possibility of him being cool.

• Sophisticated as Hell: He's read every book in the shop, and he's got the mouth of an Irish drunk.
• Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: He's such a massive jerk that you end up wanting bad things to happen to him.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: At certain points, he treats Manny like his child. Culminates in him screaming, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? MY OWN SON!"
• Wrong Line of Work: It's difficult to imagine a human being less suited to the task of running his own bookshop, given his misanthropic hatred for the customers he has to deal with, and his lazy disdain for basic tasks like keeping track of receipts or putting books on shelves.

Manny Bianco

Played By: Bill Bailey

Bernard's shop assistant and flatmate. He is a skilled businessman, well liked by the customers.

• Bumbling Sidekick: Or so Bernard likes to tell him. Manny's a little odd but he's generally more competent than Bernard himself.
• Butt-Monkey: Treating Manny like shit is one of Bernard's few reasons to get up in the morning.
• Caught Coming Home Late: After an evening out with friends, Manny returns to find Bernard sitting in a chair waiting up for him, with Bernard proceeding to scold him.
• Desk Jockey: At the very start of the series.
• Fictional Disability: Manny has a condition called "Dave's Syndrome", which causes "bad things" to happen if his body temperature hits 88 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Foil: To Bernard. Even his name means "white".
• Genius Ditz: Possesses remarkable talents such as being able to play a piano melody after hearing it on the radio once and draw perfect illustrations for a children's book.
• Hidden Depths: He's an extremely talented musician, artist and writer as evidenced when he helps Bernard write a thousand-page novel in one night.
• Hypercompetent Sidekick: While perhaps not brilliant, he is far better at the financial and customer-service aspects of bookselling than Bernard.
• Instant Expert: He is able to perfectly imitate piano music after listening to it once and even master Jazz just as quickly, which Fran's piano teacher finds impossible to believe.
• Looks Like Jesus: The long hair and beard and is even mistaken for Jesus by Bernard in the pilot.
• Meaningful Name: Bianco is the Italian term for 'white', signifying Manny's idealistic and positive outlook to Bernard Black's endlessly sour cynicism.
• Nice Guy: Kind to customers, supportive of his friends, and generally wasted in the shop.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: For some reason, he's absolutely terrified of travelling in a van.

Fran Katzenjammer

Played By: Tamsin Greig

Bernard's best and oldest friend. In the first season owned a gift store next to Black Books, but the business went bankrupt and she was unemployed from then on.

• All Women Love Shoes: In one episode, she tries to bring a suitcase holding at least 12 different pairs of shoes on vacation with her.

• The Friend Nobody Likes: Fran seems to be this amongst all her female friends, which is why she hangs around with Bernard and Manny.
• The Hedonist: Fran drinks and smokes with abandon. In one episode, a hippie friend attempts to straighten Fran out, getting her to go vegan and try yoga. The only thing that really winds up rubbing off on Fran is the self-righteousness.
• The Immodest Orgasm: To the sound of the shipping forecaster's voice. She even has to call him so she can finish.

• Meaningful Name: Katzenjammer is a German term for a hangover. ^note  Literally means "cat's wail".

• Prodigal Family: Meets her long-lost family in one episode, and they proceed to use her for free rides around town.
• Really Gets Around: To the point where she simply assumes that she's slept with Manny, as he's a man who she happens to know.
• Women Are Wiser: Averted. She's about as crazy as the rest of the cast. She fulfills the trope on occasion, but only because it's a very low bar to clear.

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