Blog / El Chigüire Bipolar

"Biased news without veracity from a rodent with psychological issues."

El Chigüire Bipolar ("The Bipolar Capybara" in Spanish) is a Venezuelan Current Events Blog created in 2008 in the form of a news website that satirizes on-going events, especially those related to the country's national politics.

Can be found here. Contains derivative works such as the newscasts Pero Tenemos Patria, Reporte Semanal and Chigüire Bipolar Noticias, and is also the website behind the Web Animation series Isla Presidencial.

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Contains examples of:

• A Dog Ate My Homework: Trial of dog that ate Maduro's Memory and Accounts begins.
• Alternate History: Used often to compare or contrast actual and hypothetical situations.
  • Chávez great person in parallel world where he's not president but a janitor.
  • In parallel universe: Venezuela conquered by Germans is also a mess.
  • Parallel Venezuela where Chávez still lives has rampant inflation.
  • The articles under the Carmona President tag, hypothetizing what would've happened if he had remained more than two days in power.
• The Alleged Car: The Chevrolet Malibu driven by the titular taxi driver in Taxi driver who drives Malibu without air but with full vallenato assures that the taxi app takes away his work. Among other problems, it has a hole in the floor that's being covered up with cardboard, which occasionally moves and results in an uncomfortable breeze coming through there.
• Anthropomorphic Personification: The story of Viveza criolla causes a three hour traffic stop is told around a man who represents that trait.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you says that Maduro knows if you voted, didn't vote, bank account stats, internet history and what you had for breakfast.
• Becoming the Costume: *Boy disguises as National Bolivarian Guard and hits his mother, grandmother and doggy.
• Big Brother Is Watching: Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you, after the Real Life Maduro claimed to know who voted and who didn't on their party's primaries.
• Bling-Bling-BANG!: Maduro (as McDuro) has a russian golden machine gun in Maduro enters Globovisión with a machine gun and ends the channel once and for all.
• The Bully: The party members in National Electoral Council puts MUD card next to one that says "Whoever votes for this is a faggot ->>"
• Captain Obvious:
  • Capriles is about to discover warm water
  • Expert proposes obvious solution to obvious problem that the government will obviously ignore
• Chest of Medals: Used to mock Maduro's attempts at looking like a militaryman (which he isn't).
  • Top Bipolar: Things Chávez ordered said includes giving Maduro a military uniform with medals so he looks cute.
  • Chocolate decorations melt over Maduro's military costume.
  • It's one of Maduro's ideas in Maduro: "They'll call me a dictator, but I'm going to do everything a dictator does."
• Conspiracy Theorist: After the actual figures.
  • Maduro: "The irresponsible opposition hasn't spoken against the murderous alien lizards."
  • Maduro announces that his proofs were stolen and he has proof.
  • The entire world is a conspiracy to make you believe that Mario Silva is an idiot.
• Corrupt Politician: It should go without saying that the blog features loads of these. Among many entries there's Caldera demonstrates with recording that everybody is just as corrupt.
• Creator Breakdown:
  • In-Universe example; after the Real Life Maduro claimed that the recently deceased Chávez reincarnated into a birdie and spoke to him, El Chigüire Bipolar released Birdie blesses Maduro and... I don't know, you can't make a joke about this. Fucking country over the fact that reality was surpassing their comedy.
  • It's worth noting that they did end up joking about it (Chávez reincarnates as plankton and bankrupts the ecosystem of five oceans.) although as mentioned you might find the actual news funnier.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • "This new's writer calculates his wage at the parallel rate and commits suicide".
  • "Farmhand commits suicide because nobody appreciates the most beautiful plaintain he's harvested", a Deconstructive Parody of a (in)famous ad for plantain chips.
• Fun with Acronyms:
  • "Chávez: Children should abandon violent videogames and go play out the streets" includes a study made by the "Instituto Moderador Bolivariano para Evaluación de Contenidos Imperialistas y Lacayos (IMBECIL)"
  • "Viceminister for the people's supreme social happiness reduces parallel dollar rate to -4.30" includes "Universidad Nacional Abierta Nolia Orozco (UNANO)" (an anus).
  • Black Santa Claus wonders why nobody wants to sit on his legs has the "Gran Rincón Internacional y Nacional de Compras del Hogar (GRINCH)".
  • New System of Currency has a new name: R.O.B.A.R (Steal).
  • Study: Venezuelan sadness reaches the Chavo episode where he's kicked out of the neighborhood has the "Liga de Luchadores que Ondean Risas Ante la Revolución (LLORAR)" (to cry).
• Gender Bender: After the National Electoral Council's requirement of at least 40% women candidates, Henry Ramos Allup changes sex."
• The Generalissimo: Naturally, Hugo Chávez and Nicolás Maduro, but it most notably comes up in Maduro: "They'll call me a dictator, but I'm going to do everything a dictator does."
• Germans Love David Hasselhoff: In-Universe: Opening of non-sushi restaurant causes riots in Caracas.
• Happiness Is Mandatory: Maduro orders the National Bolivarian Guard to arrest people and send them to beach on carnival, based on Maduro's Real Life desperate attempts at calming things down amidst protests.
• Heteronormative Crusader:
  • The mother of the Kid who dreams with being a bus driver and then a homophobic chancellor. (i.e. like Maduro)
  • The heckler in Intelligent discussion about gay marriage is interrupted by 'ayyy parchiiiita'.
  • "I have nothing against gays, but" says before making an homophobic remark.
  • Maduro will support gay marriage when they 'invent a vaccine against faggotry'.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Henry Ramos Allup's tongue jumps into a glass of Scottish whiskey at the end of Ramos Allup severs relationships with his tongue.
• Incredibly Lame Fun: Driver that kept behind an ambulance returned earlier to his sad life includes playing FIFA Soccer 2007 as part of his patheticness.
• Imaginary Friend: Maduro begins dialogue with imaginary friends and they leave the table (after the Real Life opposition refused to dialogue with him for the time being).
  • Kid sad because his imaginary friend told him he's leaving the country.
• Irony: "Chávez is Venezuela's salvation" says 1992's opposition is filled with real (but exaggerated) news about Chávez' coup that come off as ironic (mostly historical irony).
• Kangaroo Court: Leopoldo López' trial delayed until he commits a crime.
• Killed Mid-Sentence: DIOSDADO THREATEN.. (after he had a bunch of media outlets that spoke against him sued.)
• Laser Blade: Thieves start mugging using lightsabers.
• LEGO Genetics: The cultural traits in Scientists discover that the "viveza criolla" gene is in reality the "being a cocksucker" gene.
• Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics:
  • Central Bank of Venezuela manipulates inflation figures and announces that it's musical note-heart-percent
  • Maduro has 65% of popular approval of Maduro according to polls.
  • Maduro has 70% of popular approval of Cilia (his wife.)
  • Revolutionary achievement: Venezuelans are richer today than tomorrow
• Monster-Shaped Mountain: According to Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you, Jorge Rodríguez lives on a skull shaped volcano.
• Moral Guardians: In Government takes Discovery Kids off the air because there is food in Peppa Pig, the Venezuelan government bans Discovery Kids because episodes of Peppa Pig feature food.
• New Media Are Evil: Mocking the government's stance against war-related videogames and toys:
  • War videogames and toys block Caracas' streets
  • Armed Forces deploy war operation to destroy war toys
  • Chávez: Children should abandon violent videogames and go play out the streets.
• News Parody: The entire website's premise.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: Government celebrates 11 years of the best excuse they've been given to do everything, over the April 11th coup.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Maduro goes out with a fake mousatche so nobody recognizes him.
• Parody Religion: Used to mock Chávez' cult of personality.
  • Orthodox chavists from 4013 criticize those who eat sugar, milk and butter.
  • Miracle: Queue to buy milk forms Chávez' face.
  • Chávez is an imaginary being created by man to explain what they don't understand.
• Patriotic Fervor: Mocked in Venezuelan happy because he was mugged in the most beautiful beach in the world, in which the subject finds reasons to be proud of his country in every terrible thing that happens to him.
• Poe's Law: Naturally, there are tons of unaware readers who end up thinking the articles are real.
  • Worth noting is "Chávez is Venezuela's salvation" says 1992's opposition, which as the updates show, was picked up by the state and used in media and textbooks to positively portray Chávez in a good light.
• Punny Name:
  • The Recurring Character Erwe Von Esse (roughly, 'that prat').
  • When Maduro enters Globovisión with a machine gun and ends the channel once and for all he takes on the name of McDuro (McTough).
• Real Life Writes the Plot: Most articles are based around a very recent event.
• Recurring Character: The underpaid intern who holds interviews and does menial work, and the Chigüianálisis poll analist Erwe Von Esse.
• Regenerating Health: Physicians ask patients to wait until their health bar regenerates.
• Reptilian Conspiracy: Maduro: "The irresponsible opposition hasn't spoken against the murderous alien lizards."
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Henry Ramos Allup, in Real Life and doubly so in the website, see for example Ramos Allup severs relationships with his tongue.
• Skewed Priorities:
  • Broken bus glass replaces shooting victim in emergency room, mocking the government's focus on material damage over human life during 2014's protests.
  • In Corpoelec announces electricity rationing in several states to supply the Venezuela that did get fixed, part of the reason why the interior states have to ration electricity is so that "the people of Caracas can straighten their hair in peace."
• Smoking Is Cool: Lame guy really looks cooler while smoking.
• Straw Character: Very often used to mock whatever point of view the article is focusing on. The most recurrent one is Ms. María Alejandra López, a parody of classist rich pro-opposition ladies who irritate their relatives with their antics.
• Super-Fun Happy Thing of Doom: Maduro confuses the "Homeland's Plan" [i.e. the government plan] with Orwell's 1984, over the creation of the "Newscast of Truth".
• Take That, Audience!: 365 days to complain about something you're in part responsible for.
• Time Travel:
  • Time traveler comes from December to tell us that "yes, the dollar can rise higher".
  • Man who travelled from the year 2001 to escape from the strike reaches 2013.
  • TSJ orders the MUD to time travel and cancel primaries.
• Very Special Episode: There's nothing the website won't joke about, but at one point a pause was needed. This news probably won't be funny, written in serious mode at the onset of 2014's protests over the extremely heated mood going on and particularly how difficult it was to make and take jokes in that context.
  • In a mix of this and Take That, Audience!, they ran a note titled "Black Comedy kidnaps and hurts blog readers" as an answer to having gotten a lot of "Dude, Not Funny!" reactions when, after a boxer famous for having a giant tattoo of Chavez on his chest killed his wife and then himself while detained, they joked that his autopsy revealed that the guy had tatoos of two infamous ex-presidents on his buttocks.
  • Every December 28 (which in Hispanic countries is the equivalent to April Fools' Day), they publish a serious editorial piece, usually a reflection on the events of the previous year.
• Wedding Deadline: "I oppose" yells man at church not realizing civil marriage had been a week earlier.
• What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: In-Universe example: Father watches Frozen for the fifth time pretending it's because his daughter loves it.
• 0% Approval Rating: Based on Maduro's Real Life approval ratings:
  • Top ten people more popular than Maduro.
  • Dude from the office who reheats fish in the microwave oven exceeds Maduro in popularity.
  • This Manaplas chair overtakes Maduro in popularity.
  • Brazil's president doesn't get left behind: Coffee that's been cold for half an hour is already more popular than Dilma in Brazil.