WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.
- Blake's "motivational" speech to the salesmen, which is really a litany of insults and beatdowns on an unhappy group of workers struggling to make sales. A tour-de-force performance by Alec Baldwin and the most memorable part of the film.Blake: Let me have your attention for a moment! 'Cause you're talking about what? You're talking about... [puts out his cigarette] ...bitching about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch don't wanna buy land, somebody don't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw, so forth. Let's talk about something important. [to Williamson] Are they all here?
Williamson: All but one.
Blake: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. [to Shelley] Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers only.
[Levene scoffs]
Blake: You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levene?
Levene: Yeah.
Blake: You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?
Moss: I don't gotta listen to this shit. [stands up to leave]
Blake: You certainly don't, pal, 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you've got—all you've got—just one week to regain your jobs, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. [sardonically] Oh, have I got your attention now?
[Moss sits back down]
Blake: Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody wanna see Second Prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
[Moss, Aaronow, and Levene glance uncomfortably at each other]
Blake: Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit, you are shit, hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going out!
Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: "The leads are weak." Fuckin' leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.
Moss: What's your name?
Blake: FUCK YOU! That's my name! You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name! [to Levene] And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. [at a near-whisper] Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. [to everyone again] Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fuckin' faggots? [flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA] A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing! A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention—do I have your attention? Interest—are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close, or you hit the bricks! Decision—have you made your decision for Christ?! And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there! You got the prospects coming in; you think they came in to get outta the rain? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?
[Levene glares]
Moss: Incredible.
Blake: [to Moss] What's the problem, pal? You, Moss. [sits down]
Moss: You're such a hero, you're so rich. How come you're comin' down here an' waste your time with such a bunch of bums?
Blake: [smiles condescendingly] You see this watch? [takes off his gold watch] You see this watch?
Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch cost more than your car. I made nine hundred seventy thousand dollars last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice Guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. [to everyone] You wanna work here? Close! [to Aaronow] You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the materials you got, make myself fifteen thousand dollars! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A! Get mad, you son of a bitches! Get mad! You know what it takes to sell real estate? [pulls two brass balls on a string out of his briefcase] It takes brass balls to sell real estate. [puts the balls away after a pause] Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, close, it's yours. Not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying, bunch of losers, sitting around in a bar. [in a mocking weak voice] "Oh, yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket." [takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string] These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. [hands the stack to Williamson] They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. [to Moss as he puts on his watch again] And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to, they asked for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fuckin' ass because a loser is a loser. - Roma's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Williamson.Roma: [turns and glares at Williamson] You stupid fucking cunt. Williamson! I'm talking to you, shithead! You just cost me six thousand dollars. Six. Thousand. Dollars. And one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it...asshole? You fucking shit! Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt?! You idiot! Whoever told you that you could work with men?! Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead. I'm going downtown, I'm going to talk to Mitch and Murray! I'm going to Lemkin! I don't care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you're sucking on; you're going out! I swear to you, you're going out! Anyone in this office lives on his wits. [to detectives, suddenly polite] I'm going to be with you in a second. [to Williamson] What you are hired for is to help us. Does that seem clear to you? To HELP us. Not to FUCK US UP! To help men who are going out there to try to earn a living, you fairy! You company man! I'll tell you something else. I hope you ripped the joint off; maybe I can tell our friends here a little something that might help him to catch you. You want to learn the first rule you'd know if you'd ever spent a day in your life? You never open your mouth til you know what the shot is. You fucking child. [enters the office]
- Levene tries to provoke one of these at the end when, inspired by Roma's speech above, he finally stands up to Williamson, but it's ultimately subverted: In his eagerness, he lets slip something that gives him away as the person who robbed the office the previous night. Williamson picks up on it and spitefully uses it to destroy him.
- Levene describing his "great" sale to Roma. It's a tour de force of acting from Jack Lemmon:Levene: "Bruce, Harriett... we have to admit to ourselves that we see that opportunity and take it... and that's it." Now, we just sit there. I got my pen out.
Roma: "Always Be Closing."
Levene: God, that's what I've been saying... the old ways. Convert that motherfucker, sell him, make him sign the check. They got their money in government bonds, I said, "Fuck it... let's go all the way, the whole route." I take it and plat it out... eight units, 82 grand, and I say to them, "This is now. This is that thing that you have been dreaming of. You are going to find the suitcase on the train. The man walks in the room, that bag is filled with money. Harriett, this is it, and Bruce... I don't want to fuck around with you. No, I don't. I don't want to pussyfoot around. You think you got to look back on this thing? I do, too. Now, I'm here to do good for you and me... the both of us. What is the point of some interim position? The only arrangement I will accept is full investment. And I mean it, that's it... all eight units. Period." Now I got the pen in my hand, Rick... hey. I turned that contract around... that's eight units, 82 grand... and I said, "I want you to sign." I sat there five minutes. Then I sat 22 minutes by that kitchen clock on the wall. Ricky... not a word, not a motion. And what am I thinking? "Is my arm getting tired?" No. I did it. Just like the old days, like I used to, like I was taught. I did it.
Roma: Like you taught me.
Levene: Nobody ever... well, if I did, I'm glad. No, what I did... I locked on 'em. I locked all on them... nothing on me... on them. And, oh God, I am holding my last thought, "Now is the time." They signed. It was great. It was so fucking great. It was like they wilted all at once.
Roma: Mmm.
Levene: No gesture, nothing... just together. Honest to God, they both imperceptibly slumped. And then he reached and he took the pen and he signed, passed it to her and she signed. It was solemn... fucking solemn. I let it sit, and then I nodded. I said, "Harriett, Bruce," then I pointed into the living room to the sideboard. I didn't know there was a sideboard in there. He went over, he brought us back a drink, little shot glasses with a pretty design in 'em. And we just toasted in silence.
