Line #25 Fanfic/BeingFemale


1	''Being Female'' is the sequel to the ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' fanfic ''Fanfic/BecomingFemale''. It got deleted but is archived [[http://archive.is/D52ms here]].
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3	!!''Being Female'' contains examples of:
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5	* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: A barred-up window is melted using "the dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide". In layman's terms, dihydrogen monoxide means water.
6	* BackFromTheDead: Ron Raper and Umbridge are killed in the first story, but return in the sequel. Umbridge explains that [[VoodooShark it was only a hologram of her that was killed]].
7	* BananaPeel: Vernon [[DeusExMachina randomly]] slips on one, which ends up causing him to land on the TV and die.
8	* BeautyEqualsGoodness: Barty Crouch Jr. becomes a good guy due to the author's mistaken belief that he was played by Creator/RobertPattinson.
9	* CallingParentsByTheirName: Ginny refers to her parents by their given names. According to the WordOfGod, she does so since she is as "awesome" as [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Bella Swan]].
10	* ChurchMilitant: Uncle Vernon, to a ridiculous degree.
11	* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
12	** One of the opening lines of Chapter 1 reads, "Lucius didn't live there anymore because Draco had epically killed him for being sexist, making him dead and not alive anymore."
13	*** Just a few lines later, we get:
14	---->"Hello, I'm a healer," said a healer.
15	*** "[A]nd I knew he would never be sexist like that sexist idiot Ron Raper who used to be called Ron!"
16	** From Chapter 2:
17	*** "How about we call him Sunshine Archimedes Malfoy?" I suggested happily while I smiled a lot.
18	*** "Okay!" said Draco and he smiled too with his mouth!
19	*** Then we started to kiss romantically with our lips touching.
20	*** Ginny was crying her eyes and it looked like she had been abused by someone abusive.
21	*** She was also wearing an ugly pink slutty bikini because she was a slut.
22	** From Chapter 26, we get this piece:
23	---> "HOW DID YOU GET LOOSE, YOU FEMALE GIRLS!" shouted that sexist idiot Ron Raper sexistly in a sexist voice because he was sexist.
24	* TheDragon: Arthur Weasley replaces Lucius, who filled this role in the previous story. Note that Ron is the BigBad that they're serving.
25	* DroppedABridgeOnHim: After the author finds out that Robert Pattinson didn't play Viktor Krum, he immediately dies off-screen in much the same way as Lockhart in the previous story.
26	* FaceHeelTurn: As with Lockhart in the previous story, Viktor Krum turns evil after the author realizes that he wasn't played by Robert Pattinson. Apparently, '''[[Creator/DavidTennant Barty Crouch Junior]]''' is the current clone of Pattinson.
27	* FamilyUnfriendlyDeath: Ginny makes Theodore Nott's skin fall off, then puts him on fire and laughs as he dies slowly and painfully. That would teach him for being so sexist!
28	* HeelFaceTurn: Barty Crouch Junior because he (currently) [[BeautyEqualsGoodness looks like]] Robert Pattinson.
29	* IronicLastWords: The narration outright says as such about Vernon’s last words of "[[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!]]", stating that Vernon was the wicked one, and ended up dying after said words.
30	* KatanasAreJustBetter: Vernon has a samurai sword, which he attempts to use against Viktor.
31	* MadeOfExplodium: Vernon meets his demise from falling onto a TV, which then explodes.
32	* ShotgunWedding: Arthur and Molly Weasley plan to force their daughter Ginny into marrying Theodore Nott.
33	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Umbridge insists that [[KilledOffscreen Cornelius Fudge’s death]] was definitely not murder.
34	* TakeThat:
35	** Glenn Beck makes a random appearance in Chapter 16, with Vernon watching his show. He is, of course, described as sexist ([[InsaneTrollLogic after he makes a comment about evolution, which has nothing to do with gender issues]]).
36	** ''Series/JerseyShore'' appears as a sexist show which literally dropped Dudley's IQ.
37	** There is one of the TakeThatAudience kind against one negative reviewer, Jokegirl. She is the star of ''yet another'' sexist show which also dropped Dudley's IQ, and they end up giving her "the lobotomy she needed".
38	* UnexplainedRecovery: Ron Raper turns out to be alive after his apparent death... because.
39	* ViewersAreGoldfish: We are constantly reminded that Uncle Vernon is [[ChurchMilitant a Christian fundamentalist.]]
40	* VoodooShark: Umbridge explains her survival from the first story as being that a hologram of her was killed instead. Considering that the canon series takes place in the 1990s, such advanced technology should be impossible. There is also the fact [[MagicHarmsTechnology that regular electronics break down around Hogwarts]], so a hologram being able to exist there is questionable at best, and that’s without mentioning how wizards in canon are HopelessWithTech, so Umbridge even having access to one is a real stretch.

Context Fanfic / BeingFemale