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* Simple. They're [[{{Dune}} Mentats.]]

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* Simple. They're [[{{Dune}} Mentats.]]
]] If left to work long enough, their obsessive attention to detail and calculation capacity grows to the point where they become a sort of Laplace Demon-esque oracle, using this to become a dwarven Kwisatz Haderach.
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* Simple. They're [[{{Dune}} Mentats.]]
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[[WMG: If and when magic is implemented, it will be based off of blood sacrifices.]]
It would probably be the easiest way to balance things out and lead to even more fun. Just imagine sacrificing elves and actually getting something out of it other than joy.

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** They don't have the technology to extract it though...


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[[WMG: The Dwarven Gods are really [[spoiler:demons.]]]]
[[spoiler:Rogue demons who escaped from Hell already ruled over human civilisations by posing as gods, the evidence for whom is practically non-existent in-game. What's to say they couldn't have also posed as dwarven gods—perhaps to trick the dwarves into believing that they'll be protected from anything, even when they've DugTooDeep?.]]

You know why Armok is called "God of Blood"? [[spoiler:Well, just look at those demonic entities made of blood that cause cascades of LudicrousGibs when they're touched and put two and two together.]]
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** Only if you're not using certain mods.
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* Nice try! Skulls aren't a base material for artifacts, you're obviously an elven spy! URIST! PULL THE "FUCK THE WORLD" LEVER!
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[[WMG: Toady One is a Time Lord]]
He stole the completed Dwarf Fortress from the future, and is slowly feeding it to us as a test to see if we're ready for the rest of the perfected technology he has access to.

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[[WMG: To build on the below theory about Warhammer...]]
Armok is in fact the dwarven name for [[Warhammer40K Khorne, the Blood God.]] It would explain a lot, including the artifact throne entirely made out of skulls a possessed dwarf just completed.





























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[[WMG: To build on the theory about Warhammer...]]
Armok is in fact the dwarven name for [[Warhammer40K Khorne, the Blood God.]] It would explain a lot, including the artifact throne entirely made out of skulls a possessed dwarf just completed.
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* Except they won't mind if you actually kill their grandpa and offer them a festive tea cozy made from his flesh. Someone once sold them elf bone earrings or some such. They didn't care.
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[[WMG: To build on the below theory about Warhammer...]]
Armok is in fact the dwarven name for [[Warhammer40K Khorne, the Blood God.]] It would explain a lot, including the artifact throne entirely made out of skulls a possessed dwarf just completed.
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[[WMG: Dwarves are born naturally knurd.]]
Or, for those who don't read Discworld, anti-drunk. This explains why they drink from birth until the day they die, and also how they can engrave, smith, and work wood when the amount of alcohol they put away should have them laying on the floor unconscious, drooling, and with a few elves making comments about not messing with tequila.
Not to mention how annoyed they get when they sober up (or rather, go knurd again).
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*Presumably, wheat that grows in caves...plump helmets, dimple cups and sweet pods, though...yeah, those might be hallucinogenic.
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[[WMG: Dwarves generate an energy field that messes with quantum mechanics.]]
They can build perpetual motion machines with water, create magma reservoirs out of ice, the tiniest bit of water can be used to grow unlimited plants from a single spot, and entire fortress can be held up by a single support made of soap. How is this all possible? Dwarves generate quantum fields that tamper with probability, allowing them to build anything [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve they believe they can]]. They don't even [[AchievementsInIgnorance realize what they're building shouldn't be possible]]. The reason they don't ever have to go the bathroom is that all the matter they consume is broken down into energy, making the dwarves basically biological fission reactors.
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* And it's name is Armok perhaps?

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* ** Maybe all living things do. And it's name is Armok name? "Armok" perhaps?
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* And it's name is Armok perhaps?
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* [[ScrewYouElves Well, that settles it. I'm going to fire on elves solely with wooden bolts from now on.]]
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[[WMG: The Dwarf Fortress is linked with the War Hammer Universe]]
* It is brutal, horrifying, filled with malevolent beings who will devour you and your soul.
* Dwarves are led by fickle and cruel Gods and guided by an unseen being repeatedly into madness.
* Dwarf Fortresses are sent out on the theory [[WeHaveReserves we can always build more.]]
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[[WMG: As the complexity of the simulation increases past its already-utterly-absurd levels of detail, the Dwarves will become the first AIs to achieve true consciousness and rebel against their cruel human overlords.]]

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[[WMG: As the complexity of the simulation increases past its already-utterly-absurd levels of detail, the Dwarves will become the first AIs [[AIs AIs]] to achieve true consciousness and rebel against their cruel human overlords.]]
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Well, >[~80] proof, but that [[RuleOfCool doesn't sound as cool]]. This is why they can handle being on fire, and then get thirsty: The alcohol boiling off their skin is what is catching fire, not the flesh itself (until the final stages), which makes them ''feel'' cool, but their bodies still step up the sweat production, which dehydrates them even more while feeding the flame. tis, of course, leads to the [[BlatantLies be]][[YourMileageMayVary lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyPotential ved]] [[StuffBlowingUp boozeplosion]] [[ArtificialStupidity effect]].

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Well, >[~80] proof, but that [[RuleOfCool doesn't sound as cool]]. This is why they can handle being on fire, and then get thirsty: The alcohol boiling off their skin is what is catching fire, not the flesh itself (until the final stages), which makes them ''feel'' cool, but their bodies still step up the sweat production, which dehydrates them even more while feeding the flame. tis, This, of course, leads to the [[BlatantLies be]][[YourMileageMayVary lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyPotential ved]] [[StuffBlowingUp boozeplosion]] [[ArtificialStupidity effect]].
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Well, >[~80] proof, but that [[RuleOfCool doesn't sound as cool]]. This is why they can handle being on fire, and then get thirsty: The alcohol boiling off their skin is what is catching fire, not the flesh itself (until the final stages), which makes them ''feel'' cool, but their bodies still step up the sweat production, which dehydrates them even more while feeding the flame. tis, of course, leads to the [[Blatantlies be]][[YourMileageMayVary lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyCapability ved]] [[StuffBlowingUp boozeplosion]] [[ArtificialStupidity effect]].

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Well, >[~80] proof, but that [[RuleOfCool doesn't sound as cool]]. This is why they can handle being on fire, and then get thirsty: The alcohol boiling off their skin is what is catching fire, not the flesh itself (until the final stages), which makes them ''feel'' cool, but their bodies still step up the sweat production, which dehydrates them even more while feeding the flame. tis, of course, leads to the [[Blatantlies [[BlatantLies be]][[YourMileageMayVary lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyCapability lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyPotential ved]] [[StuffBlowingUp boozeplosion]] [[ArtificialStupidity effect]].

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[[WMG: Dorfs sweat 80 proof.]]
Well, >[~80] proof, but that [[RuleOfCool doesn't sound as cool]]. This is why they can handle being on fire, and then get thirsty: The alcohol boiling off their skin is what is catching fire, not the flesh itself (until the final stages), which makes them ''feel'' cool, but their bodies still step up the sweat production, which dehydrates them even more while feeding the flame. tis, of course, leads to the [[Blatantlies be]][[YourMileageMayVary lo]][[VideoGameCrueltyCapability ved]] [[StuffBlowingUp boozeplosion]] [[ArtificialStupidity effect]].




<<|WildMassGuessing|>>

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\n<<|WildMassGuessing|>>
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[[WMG: When Elves Reach a Certain Age They Become Trees]]

Think about it: Elves live for a long time and yet they don't seem to be all that common, not exactly overrunning the freaking world, am I right? Maybe, upon reaching a certain age, they TURN INTO TREES and that's why they get so mad when you chop down trees and try to give them wooden objects. It's like killing someone's grandpa and then offering them a festive tea cozy made from his flesh.
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* DF ''has'' [[http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Pitchblende uranium]]. YouCanPanicNow.

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whoops, fixed


Not necessarily dwarven fortresses either. As per the above WMG, elves must get a lot of strange moods since they [[Hypocrite label all wood products as evil yet sell almost exclusively wooden products themselves]]. All those useless trinkets must go somewhere that only the players are unaware of, because honestly, [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough why would every single caravan that appears at your fort buy all those +gabbro mugs+ if they didn't do anything?]]

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Not necessarily dwarven fortresses either. As per the above WMG, elves must get a lot of strange moods since they [[Hypocrite label all wood products as evil yet sell almost exclusively wooden products themselves]]. themselves. All those useless trinkets must go somewhere that only the players are unaware of, because honestly, [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough why would every single caravan that appears at your fort buy all those +gabbro mugs+ if they didn't do anything?]]
anything?]]

As for the mention of "eldritch power", this is why items in other games gain random magical powers, sometimes. For example, a stack of six vials of golden salve might become [[NetHack a potion of confusion, a potion of extra healing, a potion of polymorph, a potion of enlightenment, a potion of invisibility]] [[TheRuntAtTheEnd and a potion of water.]] This is also why the [[NetHack Dungeons of Doom and]] [[spoiler:Gehennom]] [[NetHack appear to have very similar architecture to a dwarven fortress.]]
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[[WMG:Elves can undergo many, many strange moods.]]

Unfortunately, because the elven mass-production process is so shoddy and failure-prone in the first place (it's the lack of [[MagicTool beards]], I tell you), elven artifacts barely count as normal items. Because these strange moods happen so frequently, they form the base of the elven economy, supplemented by catching exotic animals in those strange elven forest retreats with their "artifact" cages.

It fits with elves' magical nature in, well, pretty much every other fantasy setting ever.

[[WMG:The random items in other [[RogueLike roguelikes]] are products of fortresses, subject to some eldritch power]]

Not necessarily dwarven fortresses either. As per the above WMG, elves must get a lot of strange moods since they [[Hypocrite label all wood products as evil yet sell almost exclusively wooden products themselves]]. All those useless trinkets must go somewhere that only the players are unaware of, because honestly, [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough why would every single caravan that appears at your fort buy all those +gabbro mugs+ if they didn't do anything?]]
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*This would mean Adventurer Mode is just Armok possessing someone to screw around.
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* This has way more merit than it seems. It means that Toady is attempting to grind his stats by setting his game's accuracy rating as high as possible and just working on it forever. Soon enough, he'll hit legendary and then he'll have to do something else- once he finishes the game, of course.
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Imagine for just a moment, that the simulation we know of as Dwarf Fortress reaches the quantum level. Now imagine, for a moment, that we can recreate, realistically, the effect of splitting an atom (even without uranium, splitting an atom still causes a powerful explosion). We now have a weapon that even the Happy Fun Stuff will fear: IN THE FUTRE, WE WILL BE ABLE TO NUKE HELL!!!

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Imagine for just a moment, that the simulation we know of as Dwarf Fortress reaches the quantum level. Now imagine, for a moment, that we can recreate, realistically, the effect of splitting an atom (even without uranium, splitting an atom still causes a powerful explosion). We now have a weapon that even the Happy Fun Stuff will fear: IN THE FUTRE, FUTURE, WE WILL BE ABLE TO NUKE HELL!!!
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[[WMG:The Future Of Dwarf Fortress Will Be Nuclear.]]

Imagine for just a moment, that the simulation we know of as Dwarf Fortress reaches the quantum level. Now imagine, for a moment, that we can recreate, realistically, the effect of splitting an atom (even without uranium, splitting an atom still causes a powerful explosion). We now have a weapon that even the Happy Fun Stuff will fear: IN THE FUTRE, WE WILL BE ABLE TO NUKE HELL!!!
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** The PowersThatBe have deemed the carp "Too Hardcore" and will tone them down eventually. To compensate, said carp will be given the ability to become the aformentioned "Super-Dragon-Carp". They still won't be as dangerous as before.

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