History UsefulNotes / PassiveAggressive

[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior Passive-Agressive (aka Negativistic) Personality Disorder]] is a term used to describe a pathological attitude of fearfulness and aggression, often expressed covertly or alternating between one, the other, and other moods. Though the disorder is no longer officially recognised by the American Diagnosis and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (it was present up to the 3rd edition, then demoted in the 4th to the "Other" section), it is still a widely recognised and used diagnosis both in the United States and abroad, though it is also frequently misunderstood.

* Making one's own misery

* Inability to analyze problems

* Blaming others

* Turning bad feelings into angry ones

* Attacking people

* Lacking empathy

* Using anger to gain power

* Confusing anger with self-esteem

According to DSM-IV, passive-aggressive personality disorder is "often overtly ambivalent, wavering indecisively from one course of action to its opposite. They may follow an erratic path that causes endless wrangles with others and disappointment for themselves." Characteristic of these persons is an "intense conflict dependence on other and the desire for self-assertion." Although exhibiting superficial bravado, their self-confidence is often very poor, and others react to them with hostility and negativity.

!!Common Symtpoms

[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior Passive-Agressive (aka Negativistic) Personality Disorder]] is a term used to describe a pathological attitude of fearfulness and aggression, often expressed covertly or alternating between one, the other, and other moods. Though the disorder is no longer officially recognised by the American Diagnosis and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (it was present up to the 3rd edition, then demoted in the 4th to the "Other" section), it is still a widely recognised and used diagnosis both in the United States and abroad, though it is also frequently misunderstood. According to DSM-IV, passive-aggressive personality disorder is "often overtly ambivalent, wavering indecisively from one course of action to its opposite. They may follow an erratic path that causes endless wrangles with others and disappointment for themselves." Characteristic of these persons is an "intense conflict dependence on other and the desire for self-assertion." Although exhibiting superficial bravado, their self-confidence is often very poor, and others react to them with hostility and negativity.

[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior Passive-Agressive (aka Negativistic) Personality Disorder]] is a term used to describe a pathological attitude of fearfulness and aggression, often expressed covertly or alternating between one, the other, and other moods. Though the disorder is no longer officially recognised by the American Diagnosis and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (it was present up to the 3rd edition, then demoted in the 4th to the "Other" section), it is still a widely recognised and used diagnosis both in the United States and abroad, though it is also frequently misunderstood.

!!Symtpoms

Passive-Aggressive behaviour should be best understood as a spectrum disorder, with varying levels of severity. It is normal for ordinary people to be passive-aggressive when under a certain level of stress or in certain situations; however, those with the personality are like this more often than not, and the more extreme the disorder the more unhealthy and destructive their behaviour becomes. It is also frequently co-morbid with (and / or a symptom of) other disorders (including other personality disorders). It is highly associated with anxiety and depression, including major clinical depression, substance dependancy (including alcohol), and in extreme (if rare) cases, suicide and suicidal gestures.

* Can be nice when they wish to be

a) '''Interpersonally''' (i.e. within / towards friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, "enemies", etc.), and / or

Passive-Aggressive behaviour should be best understood as a spectrum disorder, with varying levels of severity. It is normal for ordinary people to be passive-aggressive when under a certain level of stress or in certain situations; however, those with the personality are like this more often than not, and the more extreme the disorder the more unhealthy and destructive their behaviour becomes. It is also frequently co-morbid with (and / or a symptom of) other disorders. It is highly associated with anxiety and depression, including major clinical depression, substance dependancy (including alcohol), and in extreme (if rare) cases, suicide and suicidal gestures.

It is important to note that passive-aggressive personalities often do "have a point", and their concerns should not be dismissed simply on the basis that they are passive-aggressive; instead, they need to understand that even if they are 100% in the right, their method of dealing with their problems is not as constructive as they believe it to be, and may in fact be counter-productive or even outright harmful.

[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior Passive-Agressive (aka Negativistic) Personality Disorder]] is a term used to describe a pathological attitude of fearfulness and aggression, often expressed covertly or alternating between one, the other, and other moods. Though the disorder is no longer officially recognised by the American Diagnosis and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (it was present up to the 3rd edition, then demoted in the 4th to the "Other" section), it is still a widely recognised and used diagnosis both in the United States and abroad, though it is also frequently misunderstood. It is highly associated with anxiety and depression, including major clinical depression, substance dependancy (including alcohol), and in extreme (if rare) cases, suicide and suicidal gestures.

Pop culture and media often represents this disorder as being "passively aggressive", such as being purposefully forgetful, indirectly rude, or intentionally doing a job poorly. While this is all accurate, it also only represents one side of the disorder. True Passive-Aggressive personalities can be highly and overtly aggressive; they are just also fearful of the consequences or of retribution and thus, are often only openly enraged when they feel it is "safe" to do so, such as with (or towards) a friend, partner or family member; within a group (social, religious, political, fandom etc.) and / or towards another group; or towards someone they either do not regard as a threat or whom they presently feel (at least somewhat) safe from. It is also the case that they often cannot completely control their aggression and feel regret, shame or fear after the fact. They may or may not apologise for their behaviour depending, again, on how "safe" they feel doing so- i.e.. whether they will be judged or blamed after admitting fault- and how justified they feel the outburst was. If they do not apologise, or if the apology is somehow insincere, they are likely suppressing their own guilt or shame and this will probably affect them negatively in the long wrong and trap them further in their own neurosis. As the term "negativist" suggests, they are prone to looking on the down side or otherwise bringing the mood down, causing the resentment of others (particularly since they also reserve the right to enjoy themselves and dislike it when others act so negative to ''them'').

It should be made clear that Passive-Aggressive personalities often do "have a point"- that is, they are worried, annoyed or angered by something that really does exist, and they may or may not be fully justified in their feelings depending on various factors. However, they tend to believe that their attitude and behaviour is more appropriate, justified and constructive than it really is, and that it is caused by the wrong or bad behaviour of others rather than their own anxieties and issues (or, if they do recognise that their psychological issues play a part, they may underestimate the frequency and extent of their own behaviour). Passive-Aggressive personalities are prone to exaggeration, hyperbole, generalisation, jumping to conclusions, and otherwise make things out to be worse than they really are, both consciously (ie. "people should be more angry about this, so I'll exaggerate how bad to draw attention to it because it's bad enough) and unconsciously (ie. they sometimes think things really are as bad as they believe). This can be a problem both when things are not as bad as they believe they are, and when things are ''exactly'' as bad (or ''worse'') than they think they are, because either way they are distorting facts and misrepresenting people and situations, and thus may be making things worse without intending to; moreover, and more problematically, it is extremely difficult to convince them that their behaviour is not only ineffective but often counter-productive, as they are highly sensitive to criticism, tend to believe they are more objective than they actually are, and may interpret constructive criticism either as ignorance or as maliciously trying to dismiss them.

It should also be made clear that, as they name implies, although they are angry and fearful underneath, on the surface passive-aggressive people can appear not only passive, but often friendly and gregarious. They are highly ambivalent personalities, a bundle of contradictions- simultaneously needy and independent, they can be warm and open in one situation and hostile and aggressive the next. They can be generous and sharing, but also miserly and greedy. They are highly sensitive to criticism, but also highly critical. They can both love and hate authority, but may find themselves in positions of authority (formal or otherwise) and fear and crack under (what they regard as) too much responsibility. They complain about being misunderstood and under appreciated, yet- as they are more interested in expressing their frustration than in accuracy- they often fail to adequately explain themselves in the first place or make sure they are being understood (they often resent the idea that they have to be, as they both recognise that other people do not see what is bothering them, yet think what is bothering them is so ''obvious'' and ''self-evident'' that they ''should'').

Passive-Aggressive behaviour should be best understood as a spectrum disorder, with varying levels of severity. It is normal for ordinary people to be passive-aggressive when under a certain level of stress or in certain situations; however, those with the personality are like this more often than not, and the more extreme the disorder the more unhealthy and destructive their behaviour becomes.

They may display narcissistic traits (though, as distinct from an outright {{Narcissist}})- while others may regard them as pessimists or cynics, they tend to see themselves as realists or even idealists and may honestly believe that they are seeing things as they really are, and that others are just rosy-eyed (or jade-eyed, if they see others as more pessimistic than themselves). Thus, they believe that they possess a superior insight to most people, a symptom of narcissism. Also like narcissists, they can be manipulative and self-deceiving about their own motives, inflate their own suffering (or the suffering of their group, which is just an extension of their own), and demonstrate signs of "victim entitlement"- ie. they believe themselves to be victims (rightly or wrongly), and thus are entitled to special treatment. They deserve to be spoken to in a certain way, yet should not be criticised if they speak to others differently; they are on the wrong end of an unfair double standard and life has sold them short, therefore society at large owes them. They also display a LackOfEmpathy for those they do not identify with or are critical of, and have difficulty seeing other points of view (they may ''believe'' that they do, but they are often simply making assumptions reading into other peoples' motives), believing their own is both more accurate and also safer; at the same time, they expect others to empathise (or at least sympathise) with ''them'' and think or act as though their own perspective is correct and should be accepted unconditionally (they may challenge others to discussions or debates, but only because they seek to convince, not to be convinced- they may become fearful and agitated if it transpires they were wrong). In short, they are hypocrites; and moreover, they attempt to rationalise and justify their hypocrisy, and likely feel that it is hypocritical of others to point their own hypocrisy out. They are also envious or at least resentful of those (they believe to be) better off or more fortunate than they are, and are not above appealing to moral arguments to justify these critiques.

They can also display sadistic traits (though, as distinct from an outright {{Sadist}})- while they are rarely physically violent, criticising, belittling and demonising others makes them feel empowered, righteous and vengeful, and releases pent up hostility and anger. Like may sadists, they truly believe that their targets "deserve" what they are getting and that they are justified in what they are doing. However, they are unlikely to acknowledge that their behaviour is sadistic and will resent the accusation that what they are doing is more about satisfying themselves rather than pointing out problems or rightly punishing someone. Passive-Aggressive personalities feel disempowered and are likely to confuse anger with assertiveness, so they do not believe they are the perpetrators or the bullies but rather, and always, justified, consciously or not.

Finally, they display many traits in common with paranoia- a cynical outlook on life, suspiciousness of others and of other peoples' motives, expects or even demands a high level of commitment and loyalty, tend to nurse grudges (they may also be skeptical of forgiveness, privately or otherwise), an exaggerated sense of personal rights, and an exaggerated belief that others are out to undermine or judge them, sometimes bordering on the conspiratorial. However, paranoid personalities are often more overtly hostile or suspicious of others, while passive-aggressive personalities may put on a friendlier face.

[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior Passive-Agressive (aka Negativistic) Personality Disorder]] is a term used to describe a pathological attitude of fearfulness and aggression, often expressed covertly or alternating between one, the other, and other moods. Though the disorder is no longer officially recognised by the American Diagnosis and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (it was present up to the 3rd edition, demoted in the 4th to the "Other" section, and removed in the 5th entirely), it is still a widely recognised and used diagnosis both in the United States and abroad, though it is also frequently misunderstood. It is highly associated with anxiety and depression, including major clinical depression, substance dependancy (including alcohol), and in extreme (if rare) cases, suicide and suicidal gestures.

They can also display sadistic traits (though, as distinct from an outright {{Sadist}})- while they are rarely physically violent, criticising, belittling and demonising others makes them feel empowered, righteous and vengeful, and releases pent up hostility and anger. Like may sadists, they truly beleive that their targets "deserve" what they are getting. However, they are unlikely to acknowledge that their behaviour is sadistic and will resent the accusation that what they are doing is more about satisfying themselves rather than pointing out problems or rightly punishing someone. Passive-Aggressive personalities feel disempowered and are likely to confuse anger with assertiveness, so they do not believe they are the perpetrators or the bullies but rather, and always, justified, consciously or not.

They may display narcissistic traits (though, as distinct from an outright {{Narcissist}}- while others may regard them as pessimists or cynics, they tend to see themselves as realists or even idealists and may honestly believe that they are seeing things as they really are, and that others are just rosy-eyed (or jade-eyed, if they see others as more pessimistic than themselves). Thus, they believe that they possess a superior insight to most people, a symptom of narcissism. Also like narcissists, they can be manipulative and self-deceiving about their own motives, inflate their own suffering (or the suffering of their group, which is just an extension of their own), and demonstrate signs of "victim entitlement"- ie. they believe themselves to be victims (rightly or wrongly), and thus are entitled to special treatment. They deserve to be spoken to in a certain way, yet should not be criticised if they speak to others differently; they are on the wrong end of an unfair double standard and life has sold them short, therefore society at large owes them. They also display a LackOfEmpathy for those they do not identify with or are critical of, and have difficulty seeing other points of view (they may ''believe'' that they do, but they are often simply making assumptions reading into other peoples' motives), believing their own is both more accurate and also safer; at the same time, they expect others to empathise (or at least sympathise) with ''them'' and think or act as though their own perspective is correct and should be accepted unconditionally (they may challenge others to discussions or debates, but only because they seek to convince, not to be convinced- they may become fearful and agitated if it transpires they were wrong). In short, they are hypocrites; and moreover, they attempt to rationalise and justify their hypocrisy, and likely feel that it is hypocritical of others to point their own hypocrisy out. They are also envious or at least resentful of those (they believe to be) better off or more fortunate than they are, and are not above appealing to moral arguments to justify these critiques.

They can also display sadistic traits (though, as distinct from an outright {{Sadist}}- while they are rarely physically violent, criticising, belittling and demonising others makes them feel empowered, righteous and vengeful, and releases pent up hostility and anger. Like may sadists, they truly beleive that their targets "deserve" what they are getting. However, they are unlikely to acknowledge that their behaviour is sadistic and will resent the accusation that what they are doing is more about satisfying themselves rather than pointing out problems or rightly punishing someone. Passive-Aggressive personalities feel disempowered and are likely to confuse anger with assertiveness, so they do not believe they are the perpetrators or the bullies but rather, and always, justified, consciously or not.

Pop culture and media often represents this disorder as being "passively aggressive", such as being purposefully forgetful, indirectly rude, or intentionally doing a job poorly. While this is all accurate, it also only represents one side of the disorder. True Passive-Aggressive personalities can be highly and overtly aggressive; they are just also fearful of the consequences or of retribution and thus, are often only openly enraged when they feel it is "safe" to do so, such as with (or towards) a friend, partner or family member; within a group (social, religious, political, fandom etc.) and / or towards another group; or towards someone they either do not regard as a threat or whom they presently feel safe from. It is also the case that they often cannot completely control their aggression and feel regret, shame or fear after the fact. They may or may not apologise for their behaviour depending, again, on how "safe" they feel doing so- i.e.. whether they will be judged or blamed after admitting fault- and how justified they feel the outburst was. If they do not apologise, or if the apology is somehow insincere, they are likely suppressing their own guilt or shame and this will probably affect them negatively in the long wrong and trap them further in their own neurosis. As the term "negativist" suggests, they are prone to looking on the down side or otherwise bringing the mood down, causing the resentment of others (particularly since they also reserve the right to enjoy themselves and dislike it when others act so negative to ''them'').

Pop culture and media often represents this disorder as being "passively aggressive", such as being purposefully forgetful, indirectly rude, or intentionally doing a job poorly. While this is all accurate, it also only represents one side of the disorder. True Passive-Aggressive personalities can be highly and overtly aggressive; they are just also fearful of the consequences or of retribution and thus, are often only openly enraged when they feel it is "safe" to do so, such as with (or towards) a friend, partner or family member; within a group (social, religious, political, fandom etc.) and / or towards another group; or towards someone they either do to regard as a threat or whom they presently feel safe from. It is also the case that they often cannot completely control their aggression and feel regret, shame or fear after the fact. They may or may not apologise for their behaviour depending, again, on how "safe" they feel doing so- i.e.. whether they will be judged or blamed after admitting fault- and how justified they feel the outburst was. If they do not apologise, or if the apology is somehow insincere, they are likely suppressing their own guilt or shame and this will probably affect them negatively in the long wrong and trap them further in their own neurosis. As the term "negativist" suggests, they are prone to looking on the down side or otherwise bringing the mood down, causing the resentment of others (particularly since they also reserve the right to enjoy themselves and dislike it when others act so negative to ''them'').