History SoBadItsGood / FanWorks

--> "I guess I should relax by watching some TV". He decided to go shopping for tapes online and one caught his eye "Ronald McDonald adventures in McDonaldland- the lost episodes". "I should buy this" he said. "Sir no" said the cashier. "That tape is haunted and whoever watches it dies in 7 days."

* ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5499347/2/Umineko_Memories_of_Umineko Umineko: Memories of Umineko]]'' is a bizarre ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry'' fanfiction that contains a girl with the very uncreative name of ''Umineko''. Battler's in love with her, Beatrice kills him and he's alive because he's an apparition for some reason. This fic is filled with bad spelling and grammar, IkeaErotica, a plot that doesn't make sense, an over the top characters on either side of the conflict. It very well may be a troll fic.

* ''Fanfic/EigaSentaiScanranger'' is the attempt by an author who hated ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' to do better. Not only is it playing an utterly ludicrous premise (movie nerds using the powers from their favourite movies to fight a race of {{Card Carrying Villain}}s) utterly straight, characters with little in the way of heroism or likeable traits, excessive explanations of pop culture references (Meanwhile at the Dark Side of the Moon - sorry, Music/PinkFloyd fans), bizarrely worded sentences and the facts several elements [[{{Irony}} are cribbed from Power Rangers]]. Yet the show plays all the Super Sentai tropes so straight and actually does have a MythArc, making it hard not to get an unintentional laugh out of most even the most stone-faced critics.

* ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3171991/1/FESH_PINCE_BACK_HAVEING_FUN FESH PINCE BACK HAVEING FUN]]'' is a ''[[Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]]'' script fanfic done by a self-insert who can't really spell for shit, a story that doesn't really make sense, and a bunch of other oddities. Dug Seachang [[RougeAnglesOfSatin calls Carlton "Carton", Uncle Phil "Uncle Pill", and worst/best of all, Geoffrey "Giraffe"]]! It's almost like satire towards '90s sitcoms.
* ''Fanfic/EigaSentaiScanranger'' is the attempt by an author who hated ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' to do better. Not only is it playing an utterly ludicrous premise (movie nerds using the powers from their favourite movies to fight a race of {{Card Carrying Villain}}s) utterly straight, characters with little in the way of heroism or likeable traits, excessive explanations of pop culture references (Meanwhile at the Dark Side of the Moon - sorry, Music/PinkFloyd fans), bizarrely worded sentences and the facts several elements [[{{Irony}} are cribbed from Power Rangers]]. Yet the show plays all the Super Sentai tropes so straight and actually does have a MythArc, making it hard not to get an unintentional laugh out of most stone faced critics.

* ''A Simp for This Man'' is a ''Anime/TheMillionaireDetectiveBalanceUnlimited'' [[MSTing sporked]] by Blog/DasSporking. Not even one sentence passes before the reader finds themself thrust into the most absurd [[SecondPersonNarration reader insert romance]] in existence, with Daisuke [[RonTheDeathEater immediately inflicting the most over-the-top bodily harms]] on the hapless reader, who somehow survives them all despite being [[CrossesTheLineTwice shoved in a garbage compactor, thrown out of a helicopter in flight]], ''[[ManOnFire lit on fire]]'', [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill used as a skateboard, drowned, lit on fire a second time, and tossed into the snow and locked out of the house all night]]. During all of this, the reader insert continually thanks Daisuke, and demands he marry her. This caused a few commenters on Das Sporking to propose that the fic is a satire of how [[DracoInLeatherPants fangirls only care about marrying hot guys no matter how despicable their behavior]], but the ludicrous actions are funny irrespective of whether it was intended that way.

* Creator/DetsniyOffSkiword is an up and coming example. His works include a ''VideoGame/KidIcarus'' fanfic where a new [[RougeAnglesOfSatin angle]] named Cloud joins Pit, and partakes in over-the-top battles even by ''Kid Icarus'' standards, involving [[ArtisticLicenseNuclearPhysics really unrealistic depictions of 'nuclears']], [[CurbstompBattle Curbstomp Battles]], and [[MindScrew really odd dialogue]]. He also has a VideoGame/ProfessorLayton fanfic where Layton must investigate the [[BackFromTheDead apparent resurrection]] of the infamous serial killer, [[FreudianSlip Jack The Raper]]. There is also an ''VideoGame/AdvanceWars'' fanfic, where a new CO named Dusk joins Yellow Comet and defends them from '[[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 Blu]] Moon' using his [[Franchise/CodeGeass Geass-fueled]] CO Powers. Then he went on to perform an ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' fanfic, where some of the villains of the series escape prison, and causes a rather over-the-top chase, with plenty of CourtroomAntics, TakeThatCritics, and even a sudden satire of the EU Referendum. The style is quite similar to that of ''Fanfic/LightAndDarkTheAdventuresOfDarkYagami'' and ''Fanfic/CodeGeassAwesomeOfTheRebellion'', to the point that at times, it certainly feels like a tribute to them.

* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/~worthdice Worth Dice]]. He can be found on deviantART as well with his fanfictions. His fanfics are filled with heavily mangled grammar and [[invoked[[{{Marty Stu}}es. His ''Anime/{{Hamtaro}}'' fanfictions are located [[http://schoolfilmer.deviantart.com/favourites/38813124 here]]. These are about his [[VideoGame/FinalFantasy VIII Squall Leonheart]] rip off of a hamster character. Be sure to read at your own risk, though. These fanfics get a lot of praise.

** [[WesternAnimation/TotalDrama Duncan]] (and to a lesser extent, [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Peter Griffin]]) is made into a blatant KarmaHoudini MartyStu. Various fics (mostly ''Total Cartoon'' series) practically give him a harem of [[OfficialCouple Courtney]], [[ShipTease Heather]], [[ShipsThatPassInTheNight Bridgette]], [[CrackPairing Izzy]], and Lindsay ([[FanPreferredCouple surprisingly]], not Gwen -- '''''yet'''''). Up to four of them in the same fanfic (''as of now''), despite how Courtney is stated many times to be his actual girlfriend, and he ''sexually assalts'' some of them (like Bridgette [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4978602/4/Total_Cartoon_Island_Lordryu_edition here]]) and nobody minds (not even Courtney)[[note]]Except in the linked part. Duncan gets voted off, yet he returns later as an even ''bigger'' MartyStu[[/note]]. This gets worse in a more horrible work where Chris assigns him to ''rape'' three of the girls mentioned -- Lindsay, Heather, and Bridgette -- and would have been Courtney, but he makes out with her insted.

* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/~worthdice Worth Dice]]. He can be found on deviantART as well with his fanfictions. His fanfics range from poorly mangled grammar and {{Marty Stu}}es. His ''Anime/{{Hamtaro}}'' fanfictions are located [[http://schoolfilmer.deviantart.com/favourites/38813124 here]]. These are about his [[VideoGame/FinalFantasy VIII Squall Leonheart]] rip off of a hamster character. Be sure to read at your own risk, though. These fanfics get a lot of praise.

* The fanfic ''[[http://web.archive.org/web/20050209091244/http://www.dimfuture.net/elsewhere/mot/ep101.html Street Fighter]] vs. [[http://web.archive.org/web/20050209091244/http://www.dimfuture.net/elsewhere/mot/ep101b.txt Mortal Kombat]]'' (links to two separate {{MST}}s by one group; the original is presumed to be lost). The obvious premise of the ''Franchise/StreetFighter'' and ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' cast duking it out is mostly cast aside in favor of the story of a MartyStu SelfInsert and his best friend, an eight-year-old kid with a hockey stick who can turn himself invincible at will. Everyone acts out of character and the writing is impressively vague. Despite the premise, every fight plays out like the ''VideoGame/MarvelSuperHeroesVsStreetFighter'' matches at the beginning, with fighters throwing out combos and special moves like mere jabs while [[CallingYourAttacks calling out each one of the latter]] in its own all-caps paragraph no matter how [[MundaneMadeAwesome mundane]]. Oh, and inexplicably, the Film/ThreeNinjas show up working for [[VideoGame/MortalKombat4 Shinnok]]. The whole thing is charming in a goofy way.

* The TransplantedCharacterFic ''Fanfic/SoullessShellRedwall'', [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3940868/1/soulless_shell found here]]. Loaded with AccidentalInnuendo, NoPunctuationPeriod, a MartyStu to end all Marty Stus ... {{MST}} can be found [[http://lycaenion.livejournal.com/tag/sporking here]].

* ''Fanfic/TheBenChathamAdventures'', a series famous among the ''Series/DoctorWho'' fandom for the titular MartyStu, blatant rip-offs of '70s Who, utterly detestable characters, excessive {{Flanderisation}} of canon characters, blatant misogyny and classism, and frankly bizarre recurring features (Fox's Glacier Mints are apparently equivalent to class B drugs). Whether you believe it is really a StealthParody or not, there is something innately attractive about its NarmCharm, bizarre plot twists, and hilarious lines of dialogue, such as "I am eternally grateful that you saved me from a good rogering by Henry VII!"

* The Modern Warfare 2 fanfic "Fanfic/TheBetaThreat". The entire plot can be summarized as "MartyStu protagonist kills a bunch of CardCarryingVillain terrorists, goes to jail because he failed to save a single hostage, and is called back into action to kill more terrorists." The spelling is... unspeakable.

* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3295787/1/Ties_That_Bind_A_Pokemon_Mystery_Dungeon_Story Ties That Bind: A Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Story]] is a terrible, poorly written fanfiction about a MartyStu insert who gets turned into a Pokemon. This series has only one chapter, full of switching tenses, OOC characters, and it reeks of unoriginality.

* ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3234823/1/Voltes_V_versus_Voltron_The_Godaikin_Wars Voltes V vs Voltron: the Godaikin Wars]]'' The only English language ''Anime/VoltesV'' fanfic on the Net is an eighty-four chapter of what appears to be an angry ''Voltes V'' fanboy's treatise on his [[HateFic irrational hatred]] for ''Anime/{{Voltron}}''. With the superficial premise of a villain named Paul the [[UnfortunateImplications Imjad]] stealing the Galaxy Alliance's "Encyclopedia Universale" microfilm and framing the Voltes team for it; both villain and microfilm were completely forgotten in favor of Voltron having [[WrittenSoundEffect sound effect]]-laden battles with Voltes V, as well as ''Anime/CombattlerV'', ''Anime/{{Daimos}}'', ''Anime/ScienceNinjaTeamGatchaman'' and even ''Series/SpaceSheriffShaider'', and gets its ass handed to it every time. The Voltron Team's canon heroic personalities were all thrown out of the window and replaced with straw {{Jerkass}} and StrawLoser attributes in an attempt of the author to discredit them, but it's all to {{anvilicious}}ly drive the point that Voltron is absolute crap and is not deserving of all the attention. Add the RougeAnglesOfSatin, blatant plagiarism [[note]]Apparently, the author thought that making Keith recite the lines of ''Voltes V'''s villain Prince Heinel is a good idea.[[/note]], outright {{Flanderization}} [[note]]The most egregious example would be Prof. Sakunji's SadistTeacher {{Jerkass}} tendencies cranked to the next level.[[/note]], one WMG/{{Poison Oak Epileptic Tree|s}} after another, and the rather [[InsaneTrollLogic amusing]] [[LogicalFallacies posturing]] of the author in response to the angry Voltron fans (just read his "answer" to said Voltron fan [[http://godaikinwars.blogspot.com/ here]]); and we get an epic FanWank of the highest order.

* The TransplantedCharacterFic ''Fanfic/SoullessShell'', [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3940868/1/soulless_shell found here]]. Loaded with AccidentalInnuendo, NoPunctuationPeriod, a MartyStu to end all Marty Stus ... {{MST}} can be found [[http://lycaenion.livejournal.com/tag/sporking here]].

* ''[[Fanfic/SuperSmashBrothersGuardiansArise Super Smash Bros.: Guardians Arise!]]'' is one of the bleakest ''Super Smash Bros.'' fanfics out there, but what makes it have a place here is the ''massive'' MoodWhiplash it entails. Surely, canon is already out of the window and many of the Smashers' personalities are butchered to a degree, but the story feels like it has no tone; think of the tonal shifts of shows like ''Anime/AkameGaKill'' and ''Anime/MagicalGirlSite'', and you have this fic. There's homophobic humor, outdated internet meme references, and toilet humor...juxtaposed with a ''brutally dark'' CrapsackWorld, and the supposed ''[[DesignatedHero heroes]]'' are either [[FlatCharacter one-note]], [[HumorDissonance annoying for comic relief]], [[{{Wangst}} wangst-ridden people who'd mope about their situation]] or [[JerksAreWorseThanVillains varyingly unsympathetic jerkasses who feel like they're no better than the villain they fight]]. If you're looking for a lighthearted story, ''[[TooBleakStoppedCaring good luck and have fun with this]]'', or if you're a masochist willing to endure the level of grimdark, be prepared to get easily annoyed by the level of comedy that won't fit the story at all. However, the charm here lies in the fact that it's written by a young circle of authors who're probably thinking that TrueArtIsAngsty, and it shows.

** He also wrote ''[[VideoGame/HalfLife Quarter-Life]]: Halfway To Destruction'', apparently at the bidding of Wiki/{{Uncyclopedia}}. It is best summed up by the following excerpt:

* Creator/DakariKingMykan, particularly his ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003'' and ''{{Franchise/Digimon}}'' fics. The characters are one-dimensional and OutOfCharacter, he [[CharacterShilling shills Davis and Beast Boy]] nonstop, and they feature the most blatant WishFulfillment moments this side of ''Fanfic/MyInnerLife''. And yet, they're some of the most laughable works of fan fiction ever made. Here are two particular examples:

** The ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003'' {{Wangst}}fest that is ''Fanfic/TheEndOfEnds'' isn't far behind in terms of laughable badness. In a nutshell, Beast Boy [[FaceHeelTurn turns evil and adopts the identity of]] [[PaperThinDisguise Count Logan]] and ''gleefully commits murder and tries to destroy the universe...'' [[DisproportionateRetribution all because Terra broke up with him in canon.]] The twist can be seen coming almost instantly, as the author keeps reminding people that Beast Boy's name is Garfield ''Logan''. The author tries, but any attmept to evoke sympathy from him falls flat, and BB instead comes off as an over-the-top immature whiner. Count Logan is so [[GenericDoomsdayVillain one-dimensionally evil]] that reading his lines in Beast Boy's canon voice ruins any attempt to make him look a serious threat. The entire story exists because the author was so devastated by [[ShipSinking Beast Boy and Terra not hooking up in the finale]] that he ''[[SeriousBusiness has nightmares about it to this very day.]]'' If you didn't like the final episode of the show, this might make you fell better, but for all the wrong reasons.

* The ''WebVideo/PoohsAdventures'' metaseries on Website/YouTube. Basically, it's just people taking animated movies and adding clips of characters from ''Franchise/WinnieThePooh'', ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', ''WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends'', or [[AuthorAppeal whatever else the creator likes]] in, muting the audio and using subtitles to make it look like all the different characters are interacting. All of them are basically the same, yet [[BileFascination there's a strange temptation to watch just to see what they'll cook up next]]. See the [[http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Pooh%27s_Adventures_Wiki wiki]] for more details. Yes, they have a [[TheWikiRule wiki]] that takes itself far too seriously. [[https://youtu.be/yrxmG9KyCFI DeadwingDork examines this community here]].

* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgMEbVGS5SI After Keep N Doom]]'' is an utterly bizarre crossover between ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' and ''VideoGame/{{Doom}}''. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails go to Plutonia in hopes of establishing friendships with the demons from ''Doom'', but, predictably, get attacked, and join forces with the Doom Marine (whom they name [[spoiler: Joe]]) to escape. The plot alone makes it worth a look, but what truly makes it awesome is the narrator practically yelling all of the lines, the electronic organ music soundtrack, and the fact that the comic was apparently translated from Spanish to English using a very primitive online translator program, resulting in a bunch of insanely quotable lines:

* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgMEbVGS5SI After Keep N Doom]]'' is an utterly bizarre crossover between ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' and ''VideoGame/{{Doom}}''. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails go to Plutonia in hopes of establishing friendships with the demons from ''Doom'', but, predictably, get attacked, and join forces with the Doom Marine (whom they name [[spoiler: Joe]]) to escape. The plot alone makes it worth a look, but what truly makes it awesome is the narrator practically yelling all of the lines, the electronic organ music soundtrack, and that the comic was apparently translated from Spanish to English using a very primitive online translator, resulting in a bunch of insanely quotable lines:

* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgMEbVGS5SI After Keep N Doom]]'' is an utterly bizarre crossover between ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' and ''VideoGame/{{Doom}}''. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails go to Plutonia in hopes of establishing friendships with the demons from ''Doom'', but, predictably, get attacked, and join forces with the Doom Marine (whom they name [[spoiler: Joe]]) to escape. The plot alone makes it worth a look, but what truly makes it awesome is the narrator practically yelling all of the lines, the electronic organ music soundtrack, and that the comic was apparently translated from Spanish to English by someone who speaks only Japanese, resulting in a bunch of insanely quotable lines:

* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2097849/ShakespeareHemmingway ShakespeareHemmingway]], [[SarcasmMode the greatest author of our generation]]. He claims that his screen name is to honor his two favorite authors so that he can write like them. And he writes ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' crossovers which ''must be seen to be believed''. Garfield is quite literally retooled into TestosteronePoisoning incarnate as an [[CompleteImmortality immortal]] [[OneManArmy action hero]] [[RatedMForManly with manliness of epic proportions]] who travels the world fighting evil with his friend and comrade, Jon Arbuckle. In addition to the incoherent, sometimes blatant rip-off plots, all of the fics are permeated by this incredibly bizarre atmosphere in which civil rights and equality for men are causes worth dying for, but women are treated like dirt and exist only for Garfield to have [[IkeaErotica robotically-described sex]] with them, as well as BeigeProse with grammar and sentence structure so bizarre, you'd think ''Film/{{Borat}}'' wrote it. All of it culminates in a most hilarious display further helped by the fact that apparently the author takes all of this ''seriously''.

** Someone decided to [[https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3362696/Perla-Shumajer-ENG translate some of her stories into English language]]. It's not as good as reading them in its original language, but then you can expĺore the wonderful joy of the legendary gem "[[OverlyLongTitle A boy that falls in love with his professor of potions and his professor of potions falls in love with him, they like, love and adore each other so much, they become a couple and marry /into marriage/ and they are husbands.]]"

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12715870/1/The-Loud-House-Revamped The Loud House: Revamped]]'' is known for two things: being [[{{Doorstopper}} so long it's considered the longest piece of English literature in history]], and being completely and utterly insane. Its length can be partly attributed to the fact that huge sections of it are either redundant dialogue or exposition dumps that are copy-pasted from Wikipedia/other Wiki articles; besides that, the central plot consists of a SelfInsert and the Loud siblings going on adventures and fighting evil together (usually involving several {{Transformation Sequence}}s and CallingYourAttacks), all while acquiring new girls for Lincoln's [[CrossoverCouple crossover harem]] along the way. There's a certain silliness around it that gives it charm, helped by the author stating he wrote it for fun.

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12620536/1/Beauty-and-the-Faunus Beauty and the Faunus]]'' is a ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''-themed fanmade remake of Disney's ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast'' which has Blake as the Beast, Weiss as Belle, Cinder as Gaston, Emerald as [=LeFou=], and Mercury, Roman and Neo, who speaks for some reason, as the three blondes always lusting over Gaston. Oh yeah, and Ruby Rose, the fifteen-year-old girl known for being a fun-loving girl who likes making friends, takes on the role of Cogsworth. It manages to fail very hard at being an actual remake, instead coming off as uncreative and dull, but hilariously so. The author writes it in script form, plagiarizes the Disney film to such an extent all the characters pretty much have been given the personalities of other characters.

* It is almost impossible to accurately describe ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6878187/1/Loves_Grande_Quest Love's Grande Quest]]'' without breaking out in laughter. It is a ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'' fic... but Haruhi doesn't appear at all. Her role is given to some other character. The prose is so ridiculously over-the-top that at least one reviewer called it pure awesome. Mikuru is a "dragon maiden" and the villains are so [[ForTheEvulz cartoonish]] and ObviouslyEvil that one has to wonder how the main character ever thought they were trustworthy in the first place.

* ''FanFic/SnowAngels'' is a ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'' fic that focuses on [[{{Yuri}} Yuki and Mikuru]]. If you think that this is here for {{Relationship Writing Fumble}}s, you are dead wrong. This fic is listed here because of the [[RuleOfFunny over-the-top wackiness]] and {{Narm}}. Canon is thrown out the window practically from the first chapter due to RuleOfCool, featuring such gems as Mikuru getting a HumongousMecha and a dinosaur, and pretty much every battle is a [[CurbStompBattle Curb Stomp.]] Sadly, it has now been taken down.

* ''[[http://www.nohomers.net/showthread.php?97084-The-simpsons-movie-remake-by-grapestr33t4life The Simpsons Movie Remake]]'' by "grapestr33t4life" teeters precisely on the line. {{OOC}}, [[ObligatorySwearing excessive profanity]] (almost four hundred uses of fuck ''in dialogue alone''), horrible spelling and grammar, nonsensical plot points abound, extremely blatant AuthorAppeal that eventually kills what little resemblance to the movie it had, an author who claims to be a crip and lets it show, who CantTakeCriticism... and that's not even getting to the ''songs''. Also, ''Homer falls in love with [[VideoGame/MOTHER3 Kumatora]] ('''a young teenager''').

* ''Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda: WebAnimation/TheLightOfCourage''. It started off as a [[http://www.htloz.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1618 script]] that has a few spelling errors, oddities like the Triforces talking, and most notably an OriginalCharacter who makes referential humor and sticks out of the cast like a sore thumb. It's a plan for a Zelda movie that actually has the line "Man, this guy has more mouth then Julia Roberts." It was remade into [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6WP5GQ6iFo three]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGYhRYwYhlM short]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_CtKEjoMfI videos]] that [[StylisticSuck try at this intentionally]] and do pretty well at it. These animations are where the [[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dancing-triangle Dancing Triangle meme]] came from.

* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10775420/1/Horny-demigods-and-gods Horny demigods and gods]] is a fanfic by [[https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6228256/Connorkenway00 Connorkenway00]] is either this or a masterfully done [[TrollFic trollfic]]. The author's first fanfic, the story [[PornWithoutPlot or lack thereof]], writing style, title and description, and less than strong grammar fit the definition of smut to a T. The spontaneous sex scenes and bizarre dialogue, such as Annabeth's "sexist bra" is side splitting.

''[[AC:Literature/{{Twilight}}]]''

* ''Fanfic/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen'' ([[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5436269/1/Forbiden_Fruit_the_tempation_of_Edward_Cullen here]]). Atlantiana Rebekah [[AuthorAvatar "Tiaa"]] Loren, a [[{{Jerkass}} moody]] [[ValleyGirl young lady]] who speaks in internet acronyms, enrolls at Forks High, where she promptly [[SpotlightStealingSquad grabs everyone's attention]], including that of Edward Cullen, who is now speaking a baffling combination of YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe and ALL CAPS, a 'fat and bald' uncle who subjects her to two paragraphs of IKEAErotica rape, and a 'tall white man' who announces himself to be her father. Combine this with the protagonist's status as a gothic vampire and the fact that the story positively thrives on RougeAnglesOfSatin, and claims that this may be ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'''s greatest rival thus far don't seem too far off. Also, there's a talking panda bear. A talking, ''gay'' panda bear.