History Series / ATouchOfCloth

Detective Inspector Jack Cloth (Creator/JohnHannah), who quit his profession after his wife was murdered, is called back in to investigate a series of grisly murders in the City of Town and is assigned a new partner, DC Anne Oldman (Creator/SuranneJones). With their Chief Constable, Tom Boss (Julian Rhind-Tutt) breathing down their neck for an unrealistically quick resolution to the case, Cloth and Oldman uncover clues that imply that the case might be quite a bit more complicated than they first thought.

''A Touch of Cloth'' is a British comedy series which spoofs dark, overwrought British {{Police Procedural}}s, created and written by Creator/CharlieBrooker and Daniel Maier for Creator/SkyOne. The first two-parter was broadcast in August 2012, with two additional two-parts being broadcasted in 2013 and 2014. Imagine ''Film/TheNakedGun'' or ''Film/{{Airplane}}'', but instead aimed at dark crime dramas like ''Series/{{Luther}}'' or ''Messiah'' (along with most crime shows on TV) and you are heading very much in the right direction. Very silly and very funny.

* AbandonedWarehouse: Both Todd's hideout and the "eerie StockFootage and prop warehouse".
-->'''Anne''': What kind of sick mind creates a {{s|talkerShrine}}hrine to [[Series/EastEnders Todd Carty]]?\\
'''[[AsHimself Todd Carty]]''': Oi! What are you doin' in my lockup?\\
'''Cloth''': So this is your lockup?\\
'''Todd''': Yeah, I store chains, art... [[ShrineToSelf my scrapbook]] here.

* PocketProtector: [[spoiler: Cloth's portable electric razor]].#

In the second series, Cloth goes undercover to uncover a criminal conspiracy involving the theft of a nuclear device and the charity telethon "Help a Blameless Child". The third series, centres around the murder of Cloth's brother, Terry, with Cloth eventually realizing that the culprit is closer to home than he first thought.

''(Jack opens the door, and discovers that there is nothing a solid brick wall behind it)''\\

** Series 1: Radio DJ Henry Kelly makes a voice-only appearance joyfully announcing Aidan Hawkchurch’s death on his show. ''Series/EastEnders'' and ''Series/GrangeHill'' actor Todd Carty is a Detective Constable in the City of Town police and [[spoiler:his death at the hands of Macratty’s gang kicks off Series 2.]]

* AudibleSharpness

* DyingClue: Todd Carty writes Macratty's name [[CouldntFindAPen in his own blood]] before dying, but ran out of room and had to scrunch the last few letters up. He also did some doodling ''and'' wrote "FIND JACK CLOTH" on a piece of cloth.

* FlashbackMontageRealization: Parodied when DC Anne Oldman realizes that [[spoiler:Chief Constable Tom Boss]] is the SerialKiller they're looking for. We get a series of flashbacks showing him asking her to make sure he's kept aware of all developments on the case, followed by two we haven't seen: [[spoiler:one of him asking him to help ''lick the blood off his sword'', and another of him flat-out telling her what he's doing and why. And then ''writing it on her hand''.]]

* IdentifyingTheBody: Parodied. The parents of a murdered teenage girl go to visit their daughter's corpse in the morgue, with the usual uber-dramatic music and slow-mo crying. It turns out that the ethereal music is [[LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn being performed by a choir boy and a keyboard player standing to the side]]. Then they suddenly shifts to BowChickaWowWow music, and [[ILoveTheDead unspeakable things happen]].

* KarmaHoudini: Assistant Chief Constable Tom Boss avoids a lengthy prison sentence and is able to resume work after [[spoiler: brutally murdering members of a jury in the first season]].

* KilledMidSentence: [[spoiler:Macratty]]. Well...''shot'' mid-sentence...it takes another 30 seconds or so before [[spoiler:he]] actually kicks the bucket.

* LastBreathBullet: [[spoiler: Tom Boss, lying gravely wounded on the floor, manages to shoot Hope Goodgirl in the shoulder before she can kill Jack. He's then shot ''again'' by Macratty, but he gets better.]]

* LudicrousGibs: [[spoiler:Hope Goodgirl explosively decompresses after being crushed by a rather lightweight falling pillar]]. This being A Touch of Cloth, the gibs truly ''are'' ludicrous.

* RhetoricalQuestionBlunder: At the first murder scene:

* TakeThatAudience: A [[FreezeFrameBonus brief shot]] of a hospital sign reveals a ward for "Pause Button OCD".

* TokenMinority: DC Asap Qureshi

* WhoMurderedTheAsshole: Parodied with the first episode's second murder victim, 'sushi despot' Aiden Hawkchurch. This walking turd was '''so''' despised that his featured magazine covers had headlines like "Enemymaker" and "Someone kill him already!". Even random radio broadcasters celebrate his death right after the protagonists muse that there must be a million suspects.