History Recap / TalesFromTheCryptS2E1DeadRight

On her lunch break, the vicious, gold-digging secretary Cathy Finch (Creator/DemiMoore) stops by fortune-teller Madame Vorna's (Natalia Nogulich) shop on a friend's suggestion. Vorna predicts that Cathy will lose her job, but will find a new one by the end of the day. Disbelieving her claims, Cathy returns to the office, where her boss fires her for being late. Later that afternoon, she walks past a strip club and is immediately hired to replace a waitress who quits and storms out.

Inspired by this turn of events, Cathy visits Vorna again and receives a new prediction: she will meet a large man that night and marry him, the man will inherit a great deal of money soon afterward, and then he'll die violently, leading all the money to go to her. While working at the club, she meets Charlie Marno (Creator/JeffreyTambor), a grossly overweight, hideously ugly slob who asks her out to dinner as soon as he sees her. Repulsed by his advances, she flees the club and returns to Vorna, who stands by her statement and confirms that Charlie is the man Cathy will marry.

Cathy reluctantly accepts Charlie's offer of a date, but it proves to be a disaster for her. However, Charlie mentions that he has a rich uncle who owns a factory, and Cathy, remembering Vorna's prediction, agrees to marry him. Three months later, once Cathy is tired of Charlie's slovenly way of life, he surprises her with the revelation that his uncle has a family of his own and thus has no time for him. The furious Cathy storms down to Vorna's shop, angry that she married Charlie for nothing, but Vorna stands by her claim. While stopping at the Hudson Automat for a bite to eat, Cathy wins $1 million by the automat's chain for being its millionth customer, seemingly proving Vorna's prediction wrong. Returning to the apartment, she gloats to Charlie about her winnings and tells Charlie what she really thinks of him while packing to leave. Broken by the reveal, Charlie flies into a rage and stabs Cathy to death with a kitchen knife, screaming, "[[IfICantHaveYou If I can't have you, nobody can!]]"

Vorna's prediction comes true when Charlie inherits Cathy's prize money, but is soon arrested, convicted, and executed for her murder. As Vorna watches live coverage of Charlie's execution, a new customer enters her shop and asks if she can predict the future, to which she demands the fee she asked Cathy for.

* KickTheSonOfABitch: After establishing how much of a greedy asshole she is, the episode puts Cathy through the wringer before the slovenly man she married stabs her to death.

!!This episode provides examples of:

* MatchCut: Cathy leaving Trotsky's shop instantly cuts to her entering the office.

Inspired by this turn of events, Cathy visits Vorna again and receives a new prediction: she will meet a large man that night and marry him, the man will inherit a great deal of money soon afterward, and then he'll die violently, leading all the money to go to her. While working at the club, she meets Charlie Marno (Creator/JeffreyTambor), a grossly overweight, hideously ugly slob who makes asks her out to dinner as soon as he sees her. Repulsed by his advances, she flees the club and returns to Vorna, who stands by her statement and confirms that Charlie is the man Cathy will marry.

* SexyDiscretionShot: The camera pans over to Charlie's record player as he and Cathy "consummate" their marriage. Every act of sex between them is represented by scenes of them dancing to "Cheek to Cheek". In the case of Charlie's appearance, the episode most likely uses this discretions as an act of mercy.

->'''Crypt Keeper:''' ''(gazing into a crystal ball, speaking in an accent)'' I look into the future, my darlings. And for you, I see something... grotesque. It will ''sicken'' and ''disgust'' you! ''(the camera zooms out to reveal he's dressed like a gypsy; in his normal voice)'' It's me! ''(cackles)'' Tonight's tale is a sickening ''stab'' at suspense, about a gold digger who wanted big bucks to buy baubles and bangles. Look out, Cathy! I see you just might '''buy the big one!''' ''(cackles)''

On her lunch break, secretary Cathy Finch (Creator/DemiMoore) stops by fortune-teller Madame Vorna's (Natalia Nogulich) shop at a friend's suggestion. Vorna predicts that Cathy will lose her job but find a new one by the end of the day. When Cathy returns to the office, her boss fires her for being late. Later that afternoon, she walks past a strip club and is immediately hired to replace a waitress who has just quit.

Cathy visits Vorna again and receives a new prediction: she will meet a large man that night and marry him, and he will inherit a great deal of money soon afterward and then die violently. While working at the club, she meets Charlie Marno (Creator/JeffreyTambor), a grossly overweight, hideously ugly slob who makes a pass at her as soon as he sees her. Repulsed by his advances, she flees the club and returns to Vorna, who repeats her statement and confirms that Charlie is the man Cathy will marry.

Cathy reluctantly accepts Charlie's offer of a date, but it proves to be a disaster for her. However, she remembers Vorna's prediction and agrees to marry him after he tells her about his rich uncle. Three months later, once she is tired of his slovenly way of life, he surprises her with the revelation that his uncle has a family. She visits Vorna in a panic, angry that she has married Charlie for nothing, but Vorna stands by her claim. While stopping at an automat, Cathy wins $1 million for being its millionth customer. Returning to the apartment, she gloats over her winnings and tells Charlie how much he disgusts her while packing to leave. He flies into a rage and stabs her to death with a kitchen knife, screaming, "[[IfICantHaveYou If I can't have you, nobody can!]]"

Vorna's prediction proves to be accurate, as Charlie inherits Cathy's prize money but is soon arrested, convicted, and executed for her murder. As Vorna watches live coverage of the execution, a new customer enters her shop and asks if she can predict the future.

* TheFifties: The episode is set in 1950, and is the first episode of the series not to be set in contemporary times.
* AbhorrentAdmirer: Charlie, in spades. Cathy only puts up with him due to a prophecy saying that he will die and she thereby expects to inherit a huge amount of money from him. Of course, it doesn't quite work out the way she expects.
* AllergicToRoutine: Cathy wants to be rich largely because she doesn't want to waste her life in a menial desk job.
* AllForNothing: When it becomes known that Charlie's rich factory-owner uncle has no time for him because he has a family of his own, Cathy flips out at having spent months married to the obnoxious slob for nothing.
* AnachronismStew: Cathy tells Charlie that he's big enough to have his own ZIP code. ZIP codes weren't invented until the 60's, and this episode takes place in TheFifties.

** No news station in the world, much less the US, would ever be allowed to air a death row inmate's ''live execution'' on national TV. By law, only relatives of the victim(s), relatives of the prisoner, and the prison warden are allowed to view the execution.
** In real life, Charlie wouldn't have been able to inherit Cathy's winnings after he murdered her, meaning Madame Vorna's prediction wouldn't come true.
* AsYouKnow: By simply reading Cathy's vibes, Vorna relates to her (and by extension the audience) that she's a secretary who feels that she's wasting her life away, and has always wanted to marry into wealth, continuing to work at her miserable desk job in the hopes that "Mr. Rich" comes along.
* AwfulWeddedLife: Cathy and Charlie's marriage consists entirely of Cathy being stuck doing the vacuuming, cooking Charlie's many, ''many'' meals, and folding his horrifically stained laundry while Charlie himself just lounges around and eats. As for the sex, not even ''the episode itself'' wants to go there, so it represents the act by having the pair dance to "Cheek to Cheek". Repeatedly.
* TheBadGuyWins: Assuming she gives her predictions ForTheEvulz, Vorna completely gets away with screwing Cathy and Charlie in one fell swoop.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Charlie could be seen as a decent guy, if not grotesque in appearance and manners. However, once Cathy makes it clear she hates him and plans to dump him, he flies into a fit of rage and kills her.
* BigEater: Charlie, given how grossly overweight he is. It's even pointed out on the news that his [[PrisonersLastMeal last meal]] was the largest any death row inmate has ever had.
* ChekhovsGun: The automat Cathy visits, which giver her $1,000,000 for being their millionth customer and seemingly proves Vorna's prediction wrong.
* DeadpanSnarker: Cathy's jokes about Charlie's manners and appearance. Charlie obviously misses the snark in her humor.

* ExactWords: "He ''will'' inherit the money, and then he will die. Vorna is right. Vorna is ''always'' right".
* FatBastard: Charlie, especially after Cathy reveals that she hates his guts and is planning to ditch him.
* FortuneTeller: Madame Vorna, who happens to be the real thing, but doesn't have the best interests of her customers in mind.
* GoldDigger: Cathy's sole reason for marrying Charlie is to free herself from a menial life as a secretary.
* {{Gonk}}: There are certainly words to describe Charlie, but with his face especially, "attractive" or "handsome" ''ain't'' amongst them.
* HereWeGoAgain: Once Cathy and Charlie are dead, a new customer enters Madame Vorna's shop and asks if she can predict the future.
* HighVoltageDeath: Charlie is executed in the electric chair.
* HopeSpot: As Charlie is holding onto her with the knife raised, Cathy begs Charlie to put down the knife. He seems to lower it down... and then comes the stabbing.

* ImagineSpot: Cathy and her friend fantasize about the ways Charlie could possibly die, conjuring brief scenes of him being hit by a car, flattened by a truck, and choking to death on a hunk of meat.
* ItsAllAboutMe: Cathy only cares about herself, getting rich, and leaving her miserable job behind her.

* {{Jerkass}}: Cathy is an absolute asshole who only cares about getting enough money to keep herself happy for all time.
* KickTheSonOfABitch: After establishing how much of an asshole she is, Cathy gets fired from her job, gets another job where she's treated with a lot less decency, spends months in an unwanted marriage to a grotesque slob, and is then killed by said slob when she breaks up with him.
* LoveAtFirstSight: Charlie asks Cathy out the moment he first meets her. Cathy, of course, feels the exact opposite.
* MadnessMantra: "[[IfICantHaveYou If I can't have you]], nobody can!"
* MarryingTheMark: Cathy learns from Madame Vorna that a certain man will soon inherit a fortune and then die, so she marries him. The man in question, Charlie Marno, is grotesque, slovenly, unhygienic, and annoying, so she is miserable in the marriage. When she wins $1 million at the automat, she decides to end the marriage. Charlie murders her in a fit of rage, inherits her money, and is then executed for the crime.
* NightmareFetishist: Cathy gets ''really'' into describing how Charlie could possibly die, especially during her fantasy of him choking.
* NotGoodWithRejection: Cathy did really lay into him when she said she was leaving him, but... yeah, Charlie [[IfICantHaveYou really]] just doesn't take kindly to it.

* ProphecyTwist: Charlie ''does'' inherit a lot of money from a dead relative, and he ''does'' die violently. The problem is that the dead relative was Cathy herself, and he is executed in the electric chair for her murder.

* SexyDiscretionShot: The camera zooms onto Charlie's record player as he and Cathy consummate their marriage. Every other act of sex between them is represented by the two of them dancing to "Cheek to Cheek". In the case of Charlie's appearance, the episode does these discretions as an act of mercy.
* UglyGuyHotWife: The rather pretty Cathy marrying the hideous as sin Charlie.
* UmpteenthCustomer: Cathy wins $1,000,000 when she becomes the one millionth customer of the automat. Unfortunately for her, this triggers the ProphecyTwist.
* UnhandThemVillain: When your enraged husband is standing over you holding a knife in the air, yelling "Put the knife down!" might not be the best choice of words.
* VomitIndiscretionShot: After sharing a reluctant kiss with Charlie, Cathy is so disgusted that she pukes her guts up into the kitchen sink after he leaves.

->'''Crypt Keeper:''' Poor Cathy. She ''did'' buy the big one. And that Charlie, what a ''cut-up!'' Still, he wasn't sad in the end. You see, when Charlie got his just desserts, he requested ''seconds!'' ''(in his earlier accent)'' And now, I predict the future. Next week, you'll be in the same time, same place, same station, for another hideous, hateful hall of horror.

* WeNamedTheMonkeyJack: Madame Vorna's dog is named 'Trotsky'.

** No news station in the world, much less the US, would ever be allowed to air a death row inmate's ''live execution'' on national TV. By law, only relatives of the victim(s), relatives of the prisoner, and the prison warden are allowed to view the prisoner's execution.

** It probably goes without saying, but no news station in the world, much less the US, would ever be allowed to air a death row inmate's ''live execution'' on national TV.

* ArtisticLicenseLaw: In real life, Charlie wouldn't have been able to inherit Cathy's winnings after he murdered her, meaning Madame Vorna's prediction wouldn't come true.
* ArtisticLicenseTV: It goes without saying, but no news station in the world, much less the US, would ever be allowed to air a death row inmate's ''live execution'' on national TV.

* AnachronismStew: Cathy tells Charlie that he's big enough zip code. Zip codes weren't invented until the 60's, and this episode takes place in TheFifties.

* MarryingTheMark: Cathy learns from Madame Vorna that a certain man will soon inherit a fortune and then die, so she marries him. The man in question, Charlie Marno, is grotesque, slovenly, unhygenic, and annoying, so she is miserable in the marriage. When she wins $1 million at the automat, she decides to end the marriage. Charlie murders her in a fit of rage, inherits her money, and is then executed for the crime.

* BigEater: Charlie, given how grossly overweight he is. It's even pointed out on the news that his last meal was the largest any death row inmate has ever had.