History Quotes / TheInternet

-->-- Holden [=McNeil=], '''''Film/JayAndSilentBobStrikeBack'''''

-->-- '''Rosangela Blackwell''' and '''Joey Mallone''', ''[[VideoGame/TheBlackwellSeries The Blackwell Convergence]]''

->''A trillion gigabytes of data, none of it useful! Though some... [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys oddly engrossing]].''

->'''Joey Mallone''': What do you want to do? Put up a billboard in Times Square?\\

->''Welcome to the internet! Have a look around\\
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found\\
We've got mountains of content—some better, some worse\\
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first\\
Welcome to the internet! Come and take a seat\\
Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?\\
There's no need to panic; this isn't a test, haha\\
Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest\\
Welcome to the internet! What would you prefer?\\
Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
Be happy! Be horny! Be bursting with rage!\\
We've got a million different ways to engage\\
Welcome to the internet! Put your cares aside\\
Here's a tip for straining pasta; here's a nine-year-old who died\\
We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports\\
And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other''
-->-- '''Music/BoBurnham''', "Welcome to the Internet"

And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other\\
Welcome to the internet! Hold on to your socks\\
'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock\\
They are grainy and off-putting; he just sent you more\\
Don't act surprised—you know you like it, you whore\\
See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink\\
Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think\\
Start a rumor, buy a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer\\
Or DM a girl and groom her; do a Zoom or find a tumor in your—\\
Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom\\
Here's why women never fuck you, here's how you can build a bomb\\
Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz\\
Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids\\
Could I interest you in everything all of the time?\\
A little bit of everything all of the time\\
Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime\\
Anything and everything all of the time''

->''The internet - like, it's a pretty crazy thing - it's like... It's like a network, of different, like, uh... pages of information, but... I say 'information', but sometimes 'information' is taken quite loosely. Oh-ho-ho! It's pretty crazy; you can count on that! ...The internet is a pretty horrible place, actually. Don't go there. Like, if-if you've never went on the internet before, please heed my call, don't... don't even think about it. You're gonna be better off without knowing, the true horrors that lays within. Aw, man, there's like... it-it defies description, really.''
-->-- '''LetsPlay/{{raocow}}''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xmOzykKE7U&t=11m48s here]]

->''Welcome to the internet! Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content—some better, some worse
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
Welcome to the internet! Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?
There's no need to panic; this isn't a test, haha
Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest
Welcome to thе internet! What would you prefеr?

Be happy! Be horny! Be bursting with rage!
We've got a million different ways to engage
Welcome to the internet! Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta; here's a nine-year-old who died
We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports
And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
Welcome to the internet! Hold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
They are grainy and off-putting; he just sent you more
Don't act surprised—you know you like it, you whore
See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink
Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think
Start a rumor, buy a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and groom her; do a Zoom or find a tumor in your—
Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom
Here's why women never fuck you, here's how you can build a bomb
Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids
Could I interest you in everything all of the time?
A little bit of everything all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime

-->-- '''Ishmael Reloaded''' (with apologies to Creator/HermanMelville)

-->-- '''Rosangela Blackwell and Joey Mallone''', ''[[VideoGame/TheBlackwellSeries The Blackwell Convergence]]''

-->-- '''Ishmael Reloaded''' (with apologies to Creator/HermanMelville)

-->-- '''Aelphric''', ''Literature/{{Unique}}''

-->-- '''Aelphric''', ''Literature/Unique''

-->LetsPlay/{{raocow}}, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xmOzykKE7U&t=11m48s here]]

-->'''Starscream''', ''WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime''

-->LetsPlay/{{raocow}}, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xmOzykKE7U&t=11m48s here]]