History Quotes / PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy

->Those are some [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy nappy-headed hos]], there!

->''A foolish young man\\

From ''Amos 'n Andy''"''

->''"He needs some cool tunes\\

[[PretenderDiss They're gonna kick his lily ass!]]"''

->''"... Is it because I is black?"''
-->--'''Ali G'''. [[DontExplainTheJoke Who isn't.]]

->''"Maestro, if you please. 'Rumpshaker', or some reasonable facsimile."''

->''"'Live good playa'; It's the 21st century. Thug life."''

->''"You could prolapse into a bucket of bleach and not be such a painfully white asshole."''

->''"Because Billy Ray Cyrus got sick of Music/MileyCyrus getting all the attention by terrorizing the retinas of the masses, he shot a shit puddle of a video for the sequel to Achy Breaky Heart with help from Dionne Warwick’s rapping son Buck 22... Who, besides Billy Ray and his accountant, asked for a sequel to Achy Breaky Heart?\\\

How am I still typing even though all of my bodily functions have pretty much shut down and turned on me for watching all 3:33 minutes of [[SuckinessIsPainful this musical torture device]]?"''

->''"It’s clear from these movies that white people act ridiculous. Strangely enough, this film shows that white people even act ridiculous when they’re not acting like white people."''

->''"The comparison between Snow and VanillaIce is pretty unavoidable. They were both white boys making black music, they had stage names that emphasized their whiteness... The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Vanilla Ice, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a complete liar, so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]] God, he sucks. Just...the worst man in history."''
-->--'''ToddInTheShadows''' on Snow's "Informer", ''One Hit Wonderland''

->''"Last night, in the big finish of a performance at the annual [[GrammyAward Straight White People Give Each Other Awards for Doing Black Music About Gay Rights Better Than You]] Convention, {{Music/Madonna}} shuffled weirdly out on stage with [[PimpDuds a bejeweled cane]] like a Country Western Barbie Yaga...It meant fucking nothing. If anything, it moved in reverse. It was the dinner-table obtuseness of your worst uncle. It shit on intellectual curiosity. It stank of [[TotallyRadical not getting it.]]\\\
It made you realize: Oh. [[BrokenPedestal Madonna is finite.]]"''

->''"Either [[StevenSeagal Seagal]] is the biggest fraud on the planet or he genuinely happens to transcend race and transforms into new ethnicities over time, kind of like a fucked up [[Series/DoctorWho Dr Who]]. Shockingly, it’s actually not the latter. In the past Seagal has enjoyed pretending to be Italian and Japanese respectively, but his current adopted cultural persona is that of the black man... In the majority of Seagal’s direct to DVD era filmography, Seagal has portrayed this insane ‘black man’ version of himself, most hilariously of all in the abominable ''Today You Die'', an [[{{Narm}} unintentional comedy classic]] where Seagal mumbles out ‘thug talk’ with all the street credibility of BillOReilly. Seagal even ensured that one of the black characters remarked that he '[[InformedAbility walks like a black man and breathes like a killer.]]' Absolute madness."''

->''wigged woting wiz wack wust wayin''
-->--'''Music/MileyCyrus''', 6.15.14 [[{{Twitter}} Tweet]]

->''"It was foolish of me to assume that being woken up this morning by a bunch of rats getting into a noisy trash can fight would be the only time I’d be dealing with [[AttentionWhore dramatic rodents]] today...What Miley’s remaining freon-corroded brain cell was trying to say is: [='=]''Rigged voting is whack just sayin.''[='=]"''
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/06/16/miley-cyrus-keeps-throwing-shade-at-selena-gomez/ DListed]]'''''

->''“At the end of that bit, when Ashton comes out, ‘You’re on ''{{Series/Punkd}}'' {{blah blah blah}}, and everyone is celebrating … the bit is over, the cameras are off, and he keeps saying, ‘Yeah, man. I was about to fucking punch you. And I was like, “Hmm mmm, alright.’\\\
‘Dude, I was for real man, I was about to fucking punch you out.’\\\
And I’m like, OK, that’s number two. I’m thinking how many times can I hear this dude in his ''golf outfit'' — he was wearing a golf outfit — tell me he can punch me out before I’m just [[MyGodYouAreSerious not going to be able to handle it?]] And God Bless Ashton. He goes, ‘When were you going to punch him? Before or after you were crying?’"''
-->--'''Dax Shepard''' on Music/JustinTimberlake

->''“At the end of that bit, when Ashton comes out, ‘You’re on ''{{Series/Punkd}}'' blah blah blah, and everyone is celebrating … the bit is over, the cameras are off, and he keeps saying, ‘Yeah, man. I was about to fucking punch you. And I was like, “Hmm mmm, alright.’\\\

And I’m like, OK, that’s number two. I’m thinking how many times can I hear this dude in his golf outfit — he was wearing a golf outfit — tell me he can punch me out before I’m just not going to be able to handle it? And God Bless Ashton. He goes, ‘When were you going to punch him? Before or after you were crying?’"''

->''"Though I'm not the first king of controversy\\
I am the worst thing since ElvisPresley\\
To do Black music so selfishly\\
And use it to get myself wealthy!\\
Hey! There's a concept that works\\
[[FollowTheLeader 20 million other white rappers emerge]]\\
But no matter how many fish in the sea\\
It'd be so empty without me"''
-->--'''{{Eminem}}, "Without Me"'''

From ''Amos 'n Andy''\\
He tells you that chitlins\\
Well, they taste just like candy\\
He thinks that he's got\\
De whole thang down\\
From the Nivea Lotion\\
To de Royal Crown''

-> ''He needs some cool tunes / Not just any will suffice''\\
''But they didn't have Music/IceCube / So he bought Music/VanillaIce''.\\
''Now cruising in his Pinto / He sees homies as he pass''\\
''But if he looks twice / They're gonna kick his lily ass!''

->''Though I'm not the first king of controversy\\

to do Black music so selfishly\\
and use it to get myself wealthy!\\

but no matter how many fish in the sea\\
it'd be so empty without me.''

-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/06/16/miley-cyrus-keeps-throwing-shade-at-selena-gomez/ DLissted]]'''''

->''"It was foolish of me to assume that being woken up this morning by a bunch of rats getting into a noisy trash can fight would be the only time I’d be dealing with [[AttentionWhore dramatic rodents]] today...What Miley’s remaining freon-corroded brain cell was trying to say is: [='=]''Rigged voting is whack just sayin.''[='=]

->''"The comparison between Snow and Vanilla Ice is pretty unavoidable. They were both white boys making black music, they had stage names that emphasized their whiteness... The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Vanilla Ice, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a complete liar, so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]] God, he sucks. Just...the worst man in history."''

->''"If you recall, the main undoing of Music/VanillaIce was that he gave interview after interview bragging about his rough-and-tumble upbringing on the streets of Miami, only to have friends and family rat him out as a rich kid who grew up in Texas and drove a Camaro to high school. After that news broke, his music meant nothing. Vanilla Ice was a joke, and buying his music meant part of that joke was now on you. This officially ended the public's acceptance of Vanilla Ice as a viable entertainment option."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/why-robin-thicke-new-vanilla-ice/ "Why Robin Thicke is the New Vanilla Ice"]]

->''"Clearly, the RNC were in need of some rebranding, so they elected Michael Steele as the first black chair, hoping to wash away a bit of the 'racist old white guy' stink...But it wasn't enough to just elevate a black man to a position of power -- Steele had an entire campaign mapped out in which he planned to apply Republican principles to an 'urban-suburban hip-hop setting' in a way that was both 'off the hook' and 'avant-garde'... [[PoesLaw Those are not terrible parody quotes.]] Those are actual, from his mouth quotes. The first black man in the premier position of power within the RNC, and they immediately started in with the rapping-grandma routine."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20562_6-spectacularly-failed-attempts-to-be-politically-correct.html#ixzz33NMedEbz "6 Spectacularly Failed Attempts at Political Correctness"]]

-->'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/why-robin-thicke-new-vanilla-ice/ "Why Robin Thicke is the New Vanilla Ice"]]

->''"The comparison between Snow and Vanilla Ice is pretty unavoidable. They were both white boys making black music, they had stage names that emphasized their whiteness... The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Vanilla Ice, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a complete liar, so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white]] God, he sucks. Just...the worst man in history."''

From [[AmosAndAndy Amos 'n Andy]]\\

->''"In this country, we have a whole unpleasant history of white people ''pretending'' to be black...Look, she's been fairly popular in the UK for a couple years now -- apparently thy have less issues with white girls rapping than we do. My point is, she's been in the public eye for at least a little white now. You'd think someone in her position would know they might want to be careful considering the minefeld they're already in. Instead, she's got a reputation for saying somewhat insensitive things. A lot. A ''[[NotHelpingYourCase lot.]]'' A '''[[DiggingYourselfDeeper looooooot]]'''."''
-->--'''ToddInTheShadows''' on Music/IggyAzalea's "Fancy"

->''"Clearly, the RNC were in need of some rebranding, so they elected Michael Steele as the first black chair, hoping to wash away a bit of the 'racist old white guy' stink...But it wasn't enough to just elevate a black man to a position of power -- Steele had an entire campaign mapped out in which he planned to apply Republican principles to an 'urban-suburban hip-hop setting' in a way that was both 'off the hook' and 'avant-garde'... [[PoesLaw Those are not terrible parody quotes.]] Those are actual, from his mouth quotes. The first black man in the premier position of power within the RNC, and they immediately started in with [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy the rapping-grandma routine.]]"''

->''"In this country, we have a whole unpleasant history of white people pretending to be black, so wherever we hear someone with a really contrived accent like hers, for a lot of us, it hits our 'No, no, no, '''NO'''[='=] button...Look, she's been fairly popular in the UK for a couple years now -- apparently thy have less issues with white girls rapping than we do. My point is, she's been in the public eye for at least a little white now. You'd think someone in her position would know they might want to be careful considering the minefeld they're already in. Instead, she's got a reputation for saying somewhat insensitive things. A lot. A ''[[NotHelpingYourCase lot.]]'' A '''[[DiggingYourselfDeeper looooooot]]'''."''

->''"In this country, we have a whole unpleasant history of white people pretending to be black, so wherever we hear someone with a really contrived accent like hers, for a lot of us, it hits our 'No, no, no, '''NO'''[='=] button...Look, she's been fairly popular in the UK for a couple years now -- apparently thy have less issues with white girls rapping than we do. My point is, she's been in the public eye for at least a little white now. You'd think someone in her position would know they might want to be careful considering the minefeld they're already in. Instead, she's got a reputation for saying somewhat insensitive things. A lot. A ''[[NotHelipingYourCase lot.]]'' A '''[[DiggingYourselfDeeper looooooot]]'''."''

->''"... Is it because I is black?"''
-->--'''Ali G'''. [[DontExplainTheJoke Who isn't.]]

''"It’s clear from these movies that white people act ridiculous. Strangely enough, this film shows that white people even act ridiculous when they’re not acting like white people."''

->"''Oh shit nigga, [[TheDragon Harrison]]. Look at us bud, we're talking through our biography!''"
--> -- '''Trollvorlord''', ''[[Blog/{{Bronyism}} -Trollvorlord]]''

->--'''Music/TheOffspring''', "[[TropeNamer Pretty Fly]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzY2Qcu5i2A (For a White Guy)]]

->''"Officer, you only pulled me over because I think I'm black."''
-->--'''''Mad'' Magazine''' spoof of ''Film/EightMile''

-->--'''''Mad'' Magazine''' spoof of ''[=~8 Mile~=]''