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Fiction
A foolish young man
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish
From Amos N Andy
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish
From Amos N Andy
—Frank Zappa, "You Are What You Is" - You Are What You Is
He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto
He sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass!
Not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto
He sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass!
...Is it coz I is black?
—Ali G. (Who isn't.)
Orlando Bloom took a swing at you, you have a perfume called Girlfriend, you threw eggs at a house… not gangsta.
—Kevin Hart to Justin Bieber, Comedy Central Roast
Maestro, if you please. "Rumpshaker", or some reasonable facsimile.
—Bill, NewsRadio ("Halloween")
You know Ronnie. He's one of those rich freaks who thinks he's ghetto.
—Ronnie's bio, Need for Speed: Most Wanted
Michael: These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big Marley fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly—
Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?
Michael: Exactly.
Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?
Michael: Exactly.
Robert: Man, that's whack!
Raymond: We're Italian, Robert! "Whack" means something completely different to us.
Raymond: We're Italian, Robert! "Whack" means something completely different to us.
Frog: No, see, that ain't the way it work, yo. It ain't. Cos I'm the one out here all day taking the chance, right? Police roll up into this bitch, it ain't gonna be you that catch no charge. So, leastwise, the thing you need to do is lay all that good shit down on an even split, yo. Come Friday, me and my niggers done sold all that shit off, you come past and get paid. That's how I'm at with it.
Nicky: Hey, Frog. Come here. No, seriously. Come here. First of all, and I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you deeply. First of all, you happen to be white. I'm talking raised-on-Rappolla-Street white, where your mama used to drag you to St. Casimir's just like all the other little pisspants on the block. Second, I'm also white. Not, hang-on-the-corner-don't-give-a-fuck white, but Locust-Point-IBS-Local-47 white. I don't work without no fucking contract, and I don't stand around listening to horseshit excuses like my cousin Ziggy, who, by the way, is still owed money by you and all your down, street-wise wiggers.
Nicky: Hey, Frog. Come here. No, seriously. Come here. First of all, and I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you deeply. First of all, you happen to be white. I'm talking raised-on-Rappolla-Street white, where your mama used to drag you to St. Casimir's just like all the other little pisspants on the block. Second, I'm also white. Not, hang-on-the-corner-don't-give-a-fuck white, but Locust-Point-IBS-Local-47 white. I don't work without no fucking contract, and I don't stand around listening to horseshit excuses like my cousin Ziggy, who, by the way, is still owed money by you and all your down, street-wise wiggers.
You see my skin is white but my soul is black
— Humble Pie, "Black Coffee"
Real Life
President Clinton was often known as the first black president. I wouldn't be upset if I could earn the right to be the second.
—John F. Kerry (he didn't)
Those are some nappy-headed hos, there!
—Don Imus on the WNBA
Black is a state of mind, and we Greeks are the blacks of Europe, together with the Irish.
—Yanis Varoufakis, ex-Finance Minster to Greece
'Live good playa'; It's the 21st century. Thug life.
You could prolapse into a bucket of bleach and not be such a painfully white asshole.
—Cracked, in response
to the above quote
to the above quoteIt’s clear from these movies that white people act ridiculous. Strangely enough, this film shows that white people even act ridiculous when they’re not acting like white people.
— Seanbaby, reviewing Malibu's Most Wanted for The Wave Magazine article "Raceploitation."
The Hulk Hogan leaked sex tape is gross in several ways, but at least it has taught me that “carny” wrestling talk is an amazingly advanced code language. I mean, who would ever guess that ''“blizz-ack gizz-uys“' is carny for “black guys.” Not even Alan Turing himself could figure that out.
Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'.
Truly, this makes the freestyle scene in Teen Witch look like N.W.A in their incendiary prime, and like all painful raps during that ten-year period when people 'did' them on TV shows with all the commitment of the Duke of Edinburgh banging on a tribal drum for African dignitaries, it begins with the announcement that they have something to say, which is usually their own name and the word rap.
—Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell ("Cream For a Day"), So Excited, So Scared
Unlike Vanilla Ice, Snow actually did come from the projects; he did have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a complete liar, so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice ruined being white.
—Todd in the Shadows on Snow's "Informer", One Hit Wonderland
Last night, in the big finish of a performance at the annual Straight White People Give Each Other Awards for Doing Black Music About Gay Rights Better Than You Convention, Madonna shuffled weirdly out on stage with a bejeweled cane like a Country Western Barbie Yaga...It meant fucking nothing. If anything, it moved in reverse. It was the dinner-table obtuseness of your worst uncle. It shit on intellectual curiosity. It stank of not getting it.
—Jezebel, "Madonna, What Are You Doing."
In the majority of Seagal’s direct to DVD era filmography, Seagal has portrayed this insane ‘black man’ version of himself, most hilariously of all in the abominable Today You Die, an unintentional comedy classic where Seagal mumbles out ‘thug talk’ with all the street credibility of Bill O'Reilly. Seagal even ensured that one of the black characters remarked that he 'walks like a black man and breathes like a killer.' Absolute madness.
I gotta say a few more things about my girl Snooki over there. Oh, that ain’t Snooki? Oh, my bad. I’m sorry. All white people who act black look alike to me.
—Snoop Dogg about Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, during the Roast of Donald Trump
"Bidness" and "Hella cash" in your obviously well-brought-up accent! Have you ever heard a foreigner that can't speak English too well start swearing awkwardly? "You are son of shit-ass!" Well, this is like that, only worse.
— Ross Scott about Chloe Price from Life Is Strange, Ross's Game Dungeon
I have more Sikhs in my (ministerial) cabinet than yours!
— Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressing Indian Prime Minister Modi during an official visit to India
