History Quotes / CausticCritic

'''Angel:''' ''What?!'' ''[Realizing Skinner was talking about the victim's am-dram performance, not an ''actual'' Bill Shakespeare]'' Oh, right.

'''Skinner:''' Well, he murdered [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Bill Shakespeare.]]

-->-- '''Malaya''', ''WebComic/{{Shortpacked}}'', on the subject of ''Webcomic/{{Multiplex}}'s Jason during a {{crossover}}

-->-- '''Malaya''', ''WebComic/{{Shortpacked}}''

->"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves [[HangingJudge to our judgment]]. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read."

"Hi, I'm Leonard Maltin. And this is ''The Movie Police.''" *blows whistle*

-->-- '''Creator/CharlesDickens''', ''Literature/OliverTwist''

->When we write criticism we have to be continually on our guard against this sort of thing. If we honestly believe a work to be very bad we cannot help hating it. The function of criticism, however, is ‘to get ourselves out of the way and let humanity decide’; not to discharge our hatred but to expose the grounds for it; not to vilify faults but to diagnose and exhibit them. Unfortunately to express our hatred and to revenge ourselves is easier and more agreeable. Hence there is a tendency to select our pejorative epithets with a view not to their accuracy but to their power of hurting. If writing which was intended to be comic has set our teeth on edge, how easily the adjectives arch or facetious trickle out of the pen! But if we do not know exactly what we mean by them, if we are not prepared to say how comic work which errs by archness and facetiousness differs from comic work which errs in any other way, it is to be feared that we are really using them not to inform the reader but to annoy the author—arch or facetious being among the most effective ‘smear-words’ of our period. In the same way work which obviously aspires and claims to be mature, if the critic dislikes it, will be called adolescent; not because the critic has really seen that its faults are those of adolescence but because he has seen that adolescence is the last thing the author wishes or expects to be accused of.

->"Where ''I'm'' from, they'd toss that thing in [[DeepSouth the barbecue pit.]]"

->"Of my first play, the ''Herald'' said: ''[='=]A dead whale has washed up at the Shubert Theater, and stinks a little more with each passing night.[='=]'' The ''Tribune'' called my first opera as ''[='=]having the effect of canceling out all of Mozart's classics in a single caterwaul[='=]."

->"''Oh Yahtzee, we're looking forward to hearing your opinions on this one!''" trilled several correspondents this week, and then they ran away like they just lit a firework, or pushed a friend into the girl's toilets, or thrown an unwanted child into a pen with a scary dog. OH, I SEE. No one wants me around when the new ''VideoGame/{{Call of Duty}}'' is training you to ignore yet another quality-recognition instinct, but the moment something comes along that offends what few atrophied taste buds you have left, suddenly I'm your personal attack gopher! Well, how do you know I don't actually really '''like''' ''Colonial Marines''?! [-([[IResembleThatRemark I don't, it's fucking atrocious]], but you'd have looked pretty silly if I had, wouldn't you?)-]
-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines''

'''Maelyn:''' [[HypocrisyNod Well sure]], [[SelfDeprecation but because everyone thinks I'm an idiot]], nobody actually takes my opinion seriously. Totally different.

-->-- '''''Jabootu''''' [[http://www.jabootu.com/highlander2.htm on]] ''Film/HighlanderIITheQuickening''

->"Is that how we critique movies nowadays? By just ranting and nitpicking about all the individual moments we hated?"

->"Y'know, I could spend ten hours talking about how dumb this entire sequence is, but I'm gonna try to do it in nine."

->"I know who you are. I know what you want. If you're trying to sell me a ticket, I can tell you I don't have money. --[-I mean, like, except maybe for the matinée or something-]. But what I do have are a very annoying set of skills; skills I have acquired over an extended and yet wasted adolescence. Skills that make me ''a nightmare'' for movies like you. The first one was ridiculous but fun, I'll admit, and if you let it go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not dwell on it, I will not pursue it. But if you [[{{Sequelitis}} make a pointless sequel]], I will look for it. I will find it. And '''I will review it.'''"

->"This is fuckin' Coop. But I'm gonna call him '[[TheScrappy Poop]]'. I don't care. That's why ''I'' get paid to be a critic, and you don't."

->"I have neither the time or the inclination to explain myself to a mob who rises and sleeps demanding to know my opinion of every goddamn thing in the world, and then '''questions the manner in which I provide it!''' I would rather you just say "Thank you". [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel And click on an ad along the way.]] Otherwise, I suggest [[LetsSeeYOUDoBetter you pick up a camera and make a blog post.]] Either way, I don't '''''[[YouCantHandleTheParody GIVE A DAMN! WHAT YOU THINK! YOU'RE ENTITLED TO!]]'''''" (leaves)
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bPvUFq3ZbI#t=4750s on]] Wrestling/SurvivorSeries 2014

->"So there, I said some good things about [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaMajorasMask the game]], but that's all anybody ever talks about is the good things. The bad things? Well, that's my job."

->"If you wanna be a genius, it's easy! All you gotta say is 'Everything stinks,' then you're never wrong."

-->-- '''Aldous Huxley''', "Silence is Golden"

-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' [[http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19940722/REVIEWS/407220302/1023 review]] of ''Film/{{North}}'' (extended edition)

'''Dave:''' Isn't that literally '''''exactly''''' [[NotSoDifferent what you do]] ''all the time'' about ''everything''?\\

->When we write criticism we have to be continually on our guard against this sort of thing. If we honestly believe a work to be very bad we cannot help hating it. The function of criticism, however, is ‘to get ourselves out of the way and let humanity decide’; not to discharge our hatred but to expose the grounds for it; not to vilify faults but to diagnose and exhibit them. Unfortunately to express our hatred and to revenge ourselves is easier and more agreeable. Hence there is a tendency to select our pejorative epithets with a view not to their accuracy but to their power of hurting. If writing which was intended to be comic has set our teeth on edge, how easily the adjectives arch or facetious trickle out of the pen! But if we do not know exactly what we mean by them, if we are not prepared to say how comic work which errs by archness and facetiousness differs from comic work which errs in any other way, it is to be feared that we are really using them not to inform the reader but to annoy the author—arch or facetious being among the most effective ‘smear-words’ of our period. In the same way work which obviously aspires and claims to be mature, if the critic dislikes it, will be called adolescent; not because the critic has really seen that its faults are those of adolescence but because he has seen that adolescence is the last thing the author wishes or expects to be accused of.
-->-- '''Creator/CSLewis''', ''Studies in Words''

->'''Greg:''' Okay, I'll grant you that [[WebVideo/HonestTrailers they're]] funny...that's the whole point, but they achieve that by [[AccentuateTheNegative taking something and nitpicking it to death]], focusing on the most insignificant crap they can find. And then, because it has this big booming trailer voiceover guy doing it, it somehow takes on an air of authoritativeness, and people just watch it and say "Yep, uh-huh, that's true". [[DudeNotFunny It goes beyond simple criticism and just comes off as mean]].\\

'''Greg:''' [[HypocrisyNod Well sure]], [[SelfDeprecation but because everyone thinks I'm an idiot]], nobody actually takes my opinion seriously. Totally different.
-->-- ''Webcomic/RealLifeComics'', [[http://www.reallifecomics.com/comic.php?comic=november-24-2014 Nov. 24th, 2015]]

->''She has everything that a great critic needs [[InsaneTrollLogic except judgment]]. And I don't mean that facetiously. She has great passion, terrific wit, wonderful writing style, huge knowledge of film history, but too often what she [[RootingForTheEmpire chooses to extol]] or [[ComicallyMissingThePoint fails to see]] is very surprising.''
-->-- '''Creator/WoodyAllen''' on Pauline Kael

->''Please tell my why\\

->'In 2014, Heigl lent her voice to the animated feature, ''WesternAnimation/TheNutJob.\\\

->"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves [[HangingJudge to our judgment]]. We thrive on negative criticism]], which is fun to write and to read."

->'''Clive''': There's no beginning to your talents.
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