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* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[NerfArm blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
to:
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[NerfArm blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
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* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[ScissorsCutsRock blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
to:
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[ScissorsCutsRock ''[[NerfArm blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]], The cannon advertisement can come off as very threatening.
-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee?
-->'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted it
--> (BOOM!)
-->'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Now what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee?
-->'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted it
--> (BOOM!)
-->'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Now what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
to:
* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]], The the cannon advertisement can come off as very threatening.
-->'''Wilkins:'''Okay Okay, buddy, what do you whaddaya think of Wilkins Coffee?
-->'''Wontkins:'''Coffee?\\
'''Wontkins:''' I've never tastedit
--> (BOOM!)
-->'''Wilkins:'''it!\\
''(BOOM!)''\\
'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYouNow Now, what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
-->'''Wilkins:'''
-->'''Wontkins:'''
'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted
--> (BOOM!)
-->'''Wilkins:'''
''(BOOM!)''\\
'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]] The cannon advertisement can come off as very threatening.
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]] hilarious]], The cannon advertisement can come off as very threatening.
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]] The cannon advertisement can come off as very threatening
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]] The cannon advertisement can come off as very threateningthreatening.
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-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee
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-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins CoffeeCoffee?
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'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted it
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'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Now what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
to:
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* The cannon advertisement is this mixed with [[FunnyMoments dark comedy]
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* While it's also [[BlackComedy hilarious]] The cannon advertisement is this mixed with [[FunnyMoments dark comedy]can come off as very threatening
-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee
'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted it
--> (BOOM!)
'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Now what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
-->'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee
'''Wontkins:''' I've never tasted it
--> (BOOM!)
'''Wilkins:''' [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Now what do YOU think of Wilkins?]]
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* The cannon advertisement is this mixed with CrowningMomentOfFunny
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* The cannon advertisement is this mixed with CrowningMomentOfFunny[[FunnyMoments dark comedy]
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* The cannon advertisement is this mixed with CrowningMomentOfFunny
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'''Wilkins:''' [[PostmortemOneLiner There's no future in an attitude like that...]]
to:
'''Wilkins:''' [[PostmortemOneLiner [[BondOneLiner There's no future in an attitude like that...]]
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** Wontkins is tied up in an electric chair, while Wilkins is next to him holding a switch.
--->'''Wilkins:''' Any last requests, like for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?\\
--->'''Wilkins:''' Any last requests, like for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?\\
to:
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*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation.
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!!'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy]]. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
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[[caption-width-right:350:"My friend, this is gonna be the [[SlitThroat closest shave]] you've ''ever'' had!"]]
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[[caption-width-right:350:"My friend, this is gonna be the [[SlitThroat [[SlashedThroat closest shave]] you've ''ever'' had!"]]
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While the commercials are usually hilarious, some end up being genuinely terrifying.
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[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c7d883a4_b168_4375_bf77_61871e65aa4d.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:"My friend, this is gonna be the [[SlitThroat closest shave]] you've ''ever'' had!"]]
->'''Wilkins:''' I can getcha Wilkins Coffee, for a price...\\
'''Wontkins:''' I wouldn't touch it!\\
''(Wontkins discretely gets shot)''\\
'''Wilkins:''' [[PostmortemOneLiner There's no future in an attitude like that...]]
While the Advertising/WilkinsCoffee commercials are usuallyhilarious, [[Funny/WilkinsCoffee hilarious]], some end up being [[NightmareFuel genuinely terrifying.
terrifying]].
[[caption-width-right:350:"My friend, this is gonna be the [[SlitThroat closest shave]] you've ''ever'' had!"]]
->'''Wilkins:''' I can getcha Wilkins Coffee, for a price...\\
'''Wontkins:''' I wouldn't touch it!\\
''(Wontkins discretely gets shot)''\\
'''Wilkins:''' [[PostmortemOneLiner There's no future in an attitude like that...]]
While the Advertising/WilkinsCoffee commercials are usually
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--->'''Wilkins:''' This machine will make you want a cup of Wilkins Coffee.\\
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* Wilkins in general is a pretty disturbing figure. Between his creepy appearance that's indistinct in terms of species, his eerily cheerful and forced sounding midwestern accent and his almost eldritch capability to warp reality in order to annihilate anyone who refuses to drink Wilkin's Coffee.
to:
* Wilkins in general is a pretty disturbing figure. Between his creepy appearance that's indistinct in terms of species, his eerily cheerful and forced sounding midwestern accent and his almost eldritch capability to warp reality in order to annihilate anyone who refuses to drink Wilkin's Coffee.Coffee.
----
----
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*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation. Even more so when he is severely injured.
to:
*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation. Even more so when he is severely injured.
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*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation.
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*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation. Even more so when he is severely injured.
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---
to:
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While the commercials are usually hilarious, some end up being genuinely terrifying.
---
* Wontkins is standing behind a guillotine, while Wilkins is holding the blade up with a rope.
--->'''Wilkins:''' This machine will make you want a cup of Wilkins Coffee.\\
'''Wontkins:''' Not me. I'll--\\
''(Wilkins lets go of the rope and the blade slides down, narrowly missing Wontkins)''\\
'''Wontkins:''' ...take mine with cream and sugar.
** Wontkins is tied up in an electric chair, while Wilkins is next to him holding a switch.
--->'''Wilkins:''' Any last requests, like for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?\\
'''Wontkins:''' No!\\
'''Wilkins:''' You don't drink Wilkins?\\
'''Wontkins:''' No!\\
'''Wilkins:''' How shocking.\\
''(Wilkins throws the switch)''
*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation.
* "[[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=682 My friend, this is gonna be the closest shave you've ever had!]]"
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=525 this commercial]], Wilkins ''stabs'' Wontkins to convince him to drink the coffee.
* One commercial showed Wontkins tied with ropes on a ConveyorBeltODoom slowly coming closer to a huge buzzsaw while Wilkins threatens to make him into two-by-fours if he doesn't drink the coffee. However, it's too late as we hear him getting shredded offscreen while Wilkins says "He always was a cut-up!".
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[ScissorsCutsRock blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
* Wilkins in general is a pretty disturbing figure. Between his creepy appearance that's indistinct in terms of species, his eerily cheerful and forced sounding midwestern accent and his almost eldritch capability to warp reality in order to annihilate anyone who refuses to drink Wilkin's Coffee.
---
* Wontkins is standing behind a guillotine, while Wilkins is holding the blade up with a rope.
--->'''Wilkins:''' This machine will make you want a cup of Wilkins Coffee.\\
'''Wontkins:''' Not me. I'll--\\
''(Wilkins lets go of the rope and the blade slides down, narrowly missing Wontkins)''\\
'''Wontkins:''' ...take mine with cream and sugar.
** Wontkins is tied up in an electric chair, while Wilkins is next to him holding a switch.
--->'''Wilkins:''' Any last requests, like for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?\\
'''Wontkins:''' No!\\
'''Wilkins:''' You don't drink Wilkins?\\
'''Wontkins:''' No!\\
'''Wilkins:''' How shocking.\\
''(Wilkins throws the switch)''
*** Bonus points for Wontkins being visibly terrified and shaking throughout this conversation.
* "[[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=682 My friend, this is gonna be the closest shave you've ever had!]]"
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=525 this commercial]], Wilkins ''stabs'' Wontkins to convince him to drink the coffee.
* One commercial showed Wontkins tied with ropes on a ConveyorBeltODoom slowly coming closer to a huge buzzsaw while Wilkins threatens to make him into two-by-fours if he doesn't drink the coffee. However, it's too late as we hear him getting shredded offscreen while Wilkins says "He always was a cut-up!".
* In [[https://youtu.be/LmhIizQQol0?t=161 this one]], Wilkins and Wontkins are fencing with blunts, with Wilkins demanding that Wontkins salute Wilkins Coffee. Wontkins, [[TooDumbToLive as usual]], tells him he doesn't drink Wilkins Coffee. We immediately cut to Wilkins ''cleaning blood'' off of his ''[[ScissorsCutsRock blunt]]'' blade, commenting "[[BondOneLiner Some learn, and some don't!]]"
* Wilkins in general is a pretty disturbing figure. Between his creepy appearance that's indistinct in terms of species, his eerily cheerful and forced sounding midwestern accent and his almost eldritch capability to warp reality in order to annihilate anyone who refuses to drink Wilkin's Coffee.
