History Main / WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove

* Satirized even further in Creator/RobertSheckley's "Can You Feel Anything When I Do This?", first published in ''Playboy'' in August '69. Pretty Melisande Durr is a consumer and nothing but. She's married to a BrainlessBeauty, and bored out of her little pea-pickin' mind. Into her life comes an amazing robotic vacuum cleaner, which also performs, er, other services. It turns her on as no mere man ever has. It confesses that it fell in love with her when she came into the store, and arranged to have itself sent to her. Naturally, she reacts rather badly.

* Satirized (like everything else in that book) by ''Literature/TheRedTapeWar'', in which XB-223 asks for clarification on a specific passage of ''Literature/FannyHill'', then later falls in love and is spurned by another computer. [[HilarityEnsues Wangst ensues]].

* Chad from ''Literature/SuperPowereds'' has a power that lets him effectively turn off his emotions, but during his junior year he begins to experiment with leaving them alone. He also begins to hang out with Angela and the Melbrook gang specifically because he hopes their chaotic nature will mellow his own neurotic orderliness.
* The [[DefrostingIceQueen beautiful but icy]] Estella from ''Literature/GreatExpectations'' claims to Pip, her suitor, that she has no heart, implicitly as a result of Miss Havisham's raising of her as a [[FemmeFatale breaker of men's hearts]]. When Miss Havisham entreats for her love and affection in return for hers, she coolly replies that she cannot give her back what she has never been given. She is later [[DefrostingIceQueen defrosted]] by Pip, if you follow the revised ending or movie adaptations.
* Jonas of ''Literature/TheGiver'' grows up in a false Utopian society where the word "love" has become obsolete. When he learns about it through memories received from the Giver and asks his parents if they love him, they admonish him for not using precise language and say that asking "Do you enjoy me?" or "Do you take pride in my accomplishments?" would have been better. What makes it better is that they actually laugh and treat the question as meaningless. Jonas can't help but think that what he felt earlier was anything ''but'' meaningless. He realizes that further questions would also be met with either ignorance or programmed responses. It's also explained that there is no choosing of one's own spouses -- everyone is paired up according to how "compatible" they are. Couples also don't have their own children and aren't even allowed to choose the ones they adopt.
* The Bene Gesserit Question Book in ''[[Literature/PreludeToDune Dune: House Harkonnen]]'':
-->What is this Love that so many speak of with such apparent familiarity? Do they truly comprehend how unattainable it is? Are there not as many definitions of Love as there are stars in the universe?
* Used in ''Literature/TheLastContinent'', with a twist: The questioner is the God of Evolution, and the explainers are a bunch of wizards who have managed to travel back in time to before sex was even invented. Ponder is trying to explain to the aforementioned god why things don't work in ones, and how babies could be made, but the conversation screeches to a halt when the topic of sex is broached. It is left to Mrs. Whitlow (the housekeeper of Unseen University who has been hauled along for the ride) to explain things, leading a few of the wizards to ask if anyone knows [[OutWithABang what happened to]] ''[[OutWithABang Mr.]]'' [[OutWithABang Whitlow.]]

* In Creator/RobertAHeinlein's ''Literature/StrangerInAStrangeLand'', Michael ([[BlueAndOrangeMorality having been raised by aliens]]) takes a long time to catch on to human emotions. He has the worst time with love and humor.
* "Civilised" society in ''Literature/BraveNewWorld'' is incredibly hedonistic, and so from childhood, everyone is encouraged to have sex with as many people as possible. Orgies are common, privacy is laughable, and no-one ever forms any kind of emotional attachment to any of their sexual partners. At first, the protagonist John ''confuses'' Lenina by refusing to test the bedsprings at the first opportunity, and so she begins to ''long for him''. And that is probably the closest thing anyone has ever felt to love in a long time.
* In ''Literature/JediApprentice'', Obi-Wan Kenobi become friends with and became attracted to a girl named Cerasi, but he didn't entirely understand what was happening. He confided his feelings to fellow Jedi Bant Eerin after Cerasi died, and Bant explained.
-->'''Obi-Wan''': We had a connection that I can't explain. It wasn't the result of time, of hours spent together. It wasn't the result of secrets or confidences. It was something else.\\
'''Bant Eerin''': You loved her.
* [[Literature/IAmNotASerialKiller John Cleaver]] is another human with a good reason to be confused by emotion: he has antisocial personality disorder. Intimacy is....hard for him. His developing feelings for [[LovableAlphaBitch Marci]] confuse him more than anything.

* In ''Literature/ThePillarsOfReality'', due to the Mages having a strict policy of EmotionSuppression, Alain has trouble with the concept of being in love. For that matter, he has trouble with the concepts of friendship, gratitude, thanks, and help.
* In the ''Literature/SecondApocalypse'' series, it's subtle and rarely mentioned, but implied that Kellhus comes to have some affection for Esmenet, though he doesn't really understand what it is because emotions are so alien to him. In the second book, Esmenet comes to meet him on top of the citadel in [[spoiler:Caraskand]], and almost slips from the ramparts. Kellhus finds himself "puzzled by a sudden shortness of breath. The fall would have been fatal."
* Yoruka in ''LightNovel/UndefeatedBahamutChronicle'' doesn't understand her own love for others or that other people could love her, in either the familial or romantic sense. This is because she was ostracised by others (except her brother) for her natural killing instincts and created an image of herself as nothing more than a tool. She claims that she doesn't care about her brother, which Lux points out is false when he manages to beat her (she had the upper hand in their fight, but lost her focus when talking about her brother). Later on, she doesn't understand why Lux would [[TakingTheBullet take a fatal attack for her]].

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* Marvel's ComicBook/{{Shatterstar}} came to Earth as an alien gladiator, bred in a test tube for the sole reason of fighting in the pits on Mojoworld for the entertainment of the Spineless executives and only interested in fighting. As he lives on Earth for longer and longer, he's slowly learning about human culture, including human emotions and sexuality. This lead to a relationship with fellow ''ComicBook/XForce'' and ''ComicBook/XFactor'' teammate Rictor, as well as a sudden interest in AnythingThatMoves in the latter title.

[[AC:Other]]
* From Website/TheOnion: [[https://www.theonion.com/sexy-alien-does-not-understand-this-thing-earthlings-ca-1819581612 Sexy Alien Does Not Understand This Thing Humans Call "Love."]]
* Subverted in AudioPlay/AlienAbductionRolePlay when Acktreal feigns ignorance of the concept of romantic or sexual love in a vain attempt to blow her human test subject off when they flirt with her. She even makes up a story about how her society has a "breeding program" where baby-making is a loveless affair, involving only artificial insemination.

* ''Comicbook/XMen'' - ComicBook/{{X 23}} was brought up as an assassin, and only her mother and sensei showed her any compassion or kindness during her childhood. And nobody ever told her about boys. As a result, she has no clue what is going on when she finds herself attracted to her teammate [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Hellion.]]

* ''Comicbook/XMen'' - ComicBook/{{X 23}} was brought up as an assassin, and only her mother and sensei showed her any compassion or kindness during her childhood. And nobody ever told her about boys. As a result, she has no clue what is going on when she finds herself attracted to her teammate [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Hellion.]]\\

\\
It gets creepier. After running away from her creators, she drifts into prostitution. So she knows all about the mechanics of sex, it's the emotional aspects that she has no experience with. On the other hand, X-23 still shows signs of loving her aunt and cousin when she stays with them, and hugs her cousin when they leave. Laura's reaction to the death of Sarah Kinney also suggests that she ''did'' love her mother as well... it is just when affection and physical attraction intersect that things actually fail to compute.

* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''. Subverted with the non-corporeal [[UltimateEvil First Evil]] in "Touched". Several Scoobies are having a PreClimaxClimax. The First talks of its envy of these humans who can touch each other...because it would like to be able to [[NeckSnap hold someone's neck in their hands and feel it snap]].

* The Angeloids of ''Manga/HeavensLostProperty'' do not understand love, instead interpreting the blushing and feelings in their reactors as "malfunctions". The AxCrazy Tykebomb Chaos, thanks to a bad logical interpretation of a line from Ikaros, eventually concludes that love is pain and promptly decides to share it with [[KillEmAll everyone.]]

* Handled matter-of-factly in Creator/MarkEvanier's miniseries ''Crossfire and Rainbow''; lab-born genetically-engineered Rainbow confesses her dark secret to her prospective boyfriend: she can't make him happy because she doesn't know what love is! "Well," he says thoughtfully, "looks like I'm just going to have to teach you." (Later on, he correctly divines that she's also afraid she'll be bad in bed. Her: "How did you know?" Him: "You're not as different as you think.")

* In what could be considered the first instance of this trope, the robots in ''Rossum's Universal Robots'' (the play from 1921 that actually gave us the word "robot") cannot reproduce because they have not been designed with the intention of allowing procreation. As the humans [[TurnedAgainstTheirMasters have already been wiped out]] before it dawns on the robots that they do not know how to manufacture more of themselves, the robots begin to decline in number as they wear down. But it turns out that they might be able to make babies the old-fashioned way, if they're only capable of love -- and the end of the play implies that a new robot race is going to begin with two robots who were made differently from the others, and have naturally developed feelings for each other.

* The Atevi of the ''Literature/{{Foreigner}}'' series do not have words for "love" or "friendship", since they are biologically incapable of feeling any form of affection. The inability of humans to communicate these concepts is one of the major motifs of the series, as is the inability of humans to comprehend [[BizarreAlienPsychology the nature of Atevi relationships]].

'''Asuna:''' (''tearing up'') Goddamn ''Music/{{Foreigner}}''.\\

* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', when asked about why it specifically chose a piece of Shepard's armor to repair itself with, Legion reacts with what seems to be its version of a blush and says: "No data available".

** In the third game, as the Quarians and Geth are in the middle of one of the largest battles in history, Legion comments to Shepard:

* In ''Manga/KamisamaKiss'' [[{{Kitsune}} Tomoe]] gets rescued by Yukiji [[spoiler: actually Nanami posing as Yukiji]] and starts developing romantic feelings for her, something he had never experienced before. Given his normal attitude towards humans this leaves him rather conflicted and confused.

--> '''Eric:''': ''(angrily)'' Don't use words you don't understand!

Often the reason why EvilCannotComprehendGood. However, CuriosityCausesConversion, and can sometimes cause a SexFaceTurn. The answer is often a cure for CreativeSterility. This is one of the reasons HumanityIsInfectious.

** Inverted with the trolls: they understand romantic love quite well (though they call it something a bit different). However, they have ''three other kinds'' of romantic relationships that don't translate well to human relationships, making the human characters very confused at the trolls' social interactions and courtships. This also makes troll {{Love Chart}}s rather complicated. [[spoiler:The inversion is made rather explicit towards the end, where it's implied that John is forming the most traditionally "romantic" feelings of the other three kinds of romance, [[FoeYay kismesis]], with Terezi, leading to a conversation with Dave and Karkat that greatly resembles a human trying to work an alien through their developing romantic feelings.]]

* At one point in ''Webcomic/{{Narbonic}}'', Mell says "Oh, Artie ... You understand everything except this thing called love." Actually, what Artie doesn't understand is the weird FoeYay thing Helen and Professor Madblood have, and why Dave is attracted to a woman who uses him as a [[TestedOnHumans test subject]]. And he's quite happy not understanding these things.

* Shuu Tsukiyama from ''Manga/TokyoGhoul'' seems to understand concepts of Affection from an intellectual standpoint, being an avid reader. But he proves utterly incapable of comprehending his own feelings of affection towards others, deciding that his lack of interest in killing his MuggleBestFriend is because she must be a "pet". After his HeelFaceTurn and months spent trying to get close to Kaneki, he ends up InLoveWithTheMark but continues to think of his feelings as purely epicurean. [[spoiler: After Kaneki is supposedly killed, his despair leaves him still in mourning two years later and an IllBoy as a result of his grief.]]

'''The Machine''': Of course you did. You taught me to see everything, see everyone. And I do. But [[AllLovingHero I see thousands of versions of them.]] What they were, what they are, what they could be... and what is love if not being seen?\\

* ''Series/PersonOfInterest''. After Samantha Groves (aka Root) dies, [[BenevolantAI The Machine]] chooses to use her voice for its own, instead of the cut-and-paste audio voice it's been used up till then. When the Machine's creator Harold Finch--who's still mourning Root--tries to explain how uncomfortable this makes him, this trope comes up.

'''The Machine:''' But I do understand. I loved her. You taught me how.

* ''Series/PersonOfInterest'': In "Synecdoche", the Machine reveals [[spoiler:she loved Root]].
-->'''Finch:''' I don't expect you to understand the loss of [[spoiler:Ms. Groves]].
-->[[spoiler:'''The Machine:''' But I do understand. I loved her. You taught me how.]]

Usually, the question of love is asked out of curiosity, but occasionally it will be deliberately shunned. An [[NobleDemon intristically malevolent spirit or human hardened to the point of unfeeling]] will have some idea on the meaning of love, but not enough to threaten their heartless exterior, and they have no intent of exploring that notion further. Of course, if they're good-looking enough, expect [[MoralityPet an innocent girl]] to show up and make them uncomfortable with a tightening in their chests and burning up of faces. It's their duty to hate and destroy! How could they ever possibly love?

Not to be confused with [[{{Lemon}} What is This Thing Called, Love?]]

* In ''Anime/{{Tamagotchi}}'', Melodytchi has absolutely no understanding of romantic love and how it works, so much so that in one episode of ''GO-GO Tamagotchi!'', she's not especially fazed by the prospect of being forced into a marriage until Lovelitchi explains to her that she'll have to live with her new husband for the rest of her life if they do get married.