History Main / TheTalk

* ''Webcomic/FurryExperience'': Cat never actually had one, [[http://furryexperience.smackjeeves.com/comics/952423/page-84/ her dad bailed on her]], and her mom's explanation left her thinking [[http://furryexperience.smackjeeves.com/comics/958941/page-85/ kissing would get her pregnant]]. Ronnie takes it upon herself to educate the poor girl.

* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8754781/1/Where-Do-Babies-Come-From "Where Do Babies Come From?"]], a fanfic based on the ''Disney/WreckItRalph'' FanArt, has Vanellope ask Felix where new programs come from.

* An episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'' had Angelica asking where babies come from. Drew and Charlotte agree to tell her the truth...but chicken out and tell her she hatched from an egg.

* A sketch from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore's show ''NotOnlyButAlso'' has an upper-class British gent trying to explain the facts of life with his naive 18 year old son, who doesn't want to believe the "filthy things they say at school". After much stalling ("In order for you to be brought about... it was necessary for your mother and I... to do something.") he makes wild claims that his son's conception was through his mother sitting in the same chair that he had been in and "was still warm... from my body". The conversation eventually escalates into them discussing Uncle Bertie ("Dirty Uncle Bertie they call him at school." "And they're right, Roger! Uncle Bertie is a dirty, ''dirty'' man"). [[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=d0Z1QGpTZSo The sketch can be viewed here]].

* A fanfic for ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'' where the group is in Tethe'alla. [[TheMessiah Colette]] asks the OC about something that [[HandsomeLech Zelos]] did that involved a girl. Said OC completely freaks out and tells Colette to ask Regal, who in turn gets flustered and doesn't say anything. The next day Colette says that she found the Wonder Chef, who, when asked about sex, proceeded to tell it all to Colette. In detail. Including information about fetishes and erectile dysfunction. She blushes in the presence of Zelos and can't even hear the word 'wood' without freaking out.

* A recent blurb about TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld: "He gave his father The Talk."

* ''Series/{{MASH}}'': Colonel Blake gives a lecture on the dangers of getting STD from the local prostitutes which creates much amusement in those listening, as he acts like an embarrassed father giving The Talk.

** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPNxZno3YaM&feature=related It's not like Bart didn't know already however.]] Although he possibly didn't even remember due to his age.

** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPNxZno3YaM&feature=related It's not like Bart didn't know already however.]]

* A Frenchwoman asks her husband to give their son TheTalk, but be sensitive about it and start with bees and butterflies. The man calls his son and tells him: "Pier, remember how we went to Madam Josie's last week? Well, bees and butterfly have it the same way."

** ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3313914/1/ Fetish? What's A Fetish?]]'', a hilarious story about Naruto and Sasuke (Not like that, pervs) finding out all about sex and fetishes. And I do mean all, {{Squee}} and {{Squick}} included. It's funny, but can also be serious when the author feels the need.

** ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3313914/1/ Fetish? What's A Fetish?]]'', a hilarious story about Naruto and Sasuke (Not like that, pervs) finding out all about sex and fetishes. And I do mean all, {{Sqee}} and {{Squick}} included. It's funny, but can also be serious when the author feels the need.

* Inverted in ''{{Pleasantville}}'', where Reese Witherspoon's character had to give "The Talk" to her mother (on the overly clean-cut TV sitcom from TheFifties [[TrappedInTVLand in which her and her brother have been trapped]]).

* The Daniel Stern movie ''{{Bushwhacked}}'' features Stern's character as a fake Scout Leader delivering "the talk" to the boys in his scout group ''vividly'', with help from action figures.

* Averted in ''{{Critters}}'', when the father gets concerned about his daughter's dating, and asks the mother if she's "talked to her about the way things are". Mom's reply ("Years ago") stuns him, but also lets him off the hook for undertaking this trope.
* ''NowAndThen'' Chrissy gets the talk from her mother (Bonnie Hunt), who is portrayed as either a sexophobe or just overly concerned about her daughter growing up. She starts by explaining that "every woman has a [[UnusualEuphemism garden, and it needs a hose to water it]]." The narrator, Sam (Demi Moore) explains that as a result of this conversation, Chrissy will develop a lifetime obsession with gardening.
* ''BicentennialMan'': Andrew is given one by his master, and expresses sorrow over the millions of deaths of unfertilized sperm.

** In another fic, ''Estrus'', five of the Mane Six swap stories about how they first learned the facts of life after finding out that Twilight apparently has no idea what being "in heat" means.

'''Agatha''' (indignant): Ad-'''''am'''''!

* As ''TalesOfTheQuestor'' demonstrated in one strip, do ''not'' attempt this with a magic mirror. The results may be [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00529.html traumatizing]] for a child.

** Worse, his father says that said kits are purchased at Sears, but they got Calvin at a K-Mart, and only because he was "defective" and thus got a discount. Calvin was...[[HeroicBSOD a little shaken up]].

** A variation of the above occurs in ''Fanfic/TheBoyWhoDiedALot'' where Snape finds it prudent to have a little talk with his Slytherin students:
-->''"Let me be perfectly clear: I care not one whit for whatever hopeless romantic entanglements you are bound to engage in over the coming years, nor do I care about whether they lack romance entirely. This lecture’s purpose is not to inform you about,"—his lip curled—''"the birds and the bees."''\\
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Now they simply looked confused.\\
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"There is only one matter I intend to discuss with you," Severus said, straightening and flicking his wand at the blackboard.\\
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A single word appeared, in large, white letters: ''CONSENT.''\\
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"I realise," Severus said whilst they were still busy staring, "that this may be a novel concept to many of you. [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil Others may feel that it should not apply to members of this house. You are wrong.]] If I ever, ''ever'' catch word that one of you has engaged a fellow student—whatever their house—in sexual acts against their will, I shall personally see to it that the person in question is expelled."\\
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He paused long enough to take in their frowns and tense faces. "This includes all use of love or lust potions, and any,"—his eyes flicked to Draco, who paled—"coercive spells. It is not cunning to induce unnatural attraction by brewing a draught; in fact, it is such a blatantly obvious option that it should be beneath you all. Likewise, if your greatest ambition is to rely on flicking your wand every time you seek... company, you possess no true ambition at all. To put it quite simply: no means no."\\
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Halfway through the sentence he became aware of the door opening in his peripheral vision. Profoundly irritated and equally uncomfortable, he turned towards it and glared at the intruder.\\
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Minerva stared back at him, mouth slightly open. Severus resisted the ridiculous urge to squirm and forcibly willed down the heat which threatened to rise to his cheeks. "Yes?" he said.\\
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Minerva blinked. "Pardon me," she said, "I was under the impression that this classroom was vacant."\\
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Severus scowled. "Evidently, it is not."\\
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"Well," Minerva said, the beginnings of a smile playing over her lips. "Seeing how no means no..." And she closed the door.\\
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Thoroughly thrown off balance, Severus straightened his robes and turned back to the class. "Where was I?"\\
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"Love Potions aren't cunning," Pansy Parkinson muttered, sounding less than pleased.\\
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"Quite," Severus said. "Now, if any of you should have questions..."''
** There's one where Ron and Hermione are caught snogging by Ron's entire family, and all of the older Weasley men attempt to have The Talk with Ron, most hilariously the twins, who are armed with Muggle porn.

* On ''ArrestedDevelopment'', Tobias *thinks* George Michael is asking him to give the talk. Actually, George Michael is [[KissingCousins trying to figure out whether Maeby is adopted]].

* [["Where Do Babies Come From?"]], a fanfic based on the ''Disney/WreckItRalph'' FanArt, has Vanellope ask Felix where new programs come from.

* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', [[TheSmartGuy Mordin]] gives Shepard a talk, which varies depending on who he/she is romancing. They're all mostly about how to do it safely with [[PowerPerversionPotential biotics]] or [[InterspeciesRomance other species]], which mixed with Mordin's SesquipedalianLoquaciousness and MotorMouth tendencies are all pretty funny to listen to. He actually gives useful info as well, not just comic relief. For example, romancing Garrus causes a warning that ingesting turian...fluids...will probably result in a possibly fatal allergic reaction due to it being made of dextro-amino acids.

* In the ''Manga/DeathNote'' CrackFic ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5145663/1/ Parental Guidance]]'' Souichiro Yagami insists on giving Light the talk while L listens in and gives his ever-helpful input on the matter.