History Main / TheTalk

** In an episode from the previous season, the parents in town had voted to include Sex Ed in the school curriculum because they were too uncomfortable giving The Talk to their kids. It turned into a disaster because Mr. Mackey knew next to nothing about sex, Mrs. Choksondik opted for ScareEmStraight without actually explaining what sex is and Mr. Garrison (the ''kindergarten'' teacher at that time) is a total pervert.

* Series/{{Buffy|the Vampire Slayer}} and her mom have a different kind of talk after Angelus tells Joyce that he and Buffy had sex. It is played not for laughs, but for angst, as it brings up the emotional agony Buffy is suffering as a result of Angel losing his soul.
** Earlier that season while things were much lighter, Buffy and Xander offer unsolicited advice to Giles who is struggling over asking Ms. Calendar on a date - Xander asks if they should discuss the facts of life, pointing out that the stork was 'a smokescreen'.

** Mabel: "Goodbye childhood"

* In the ''Manga/DeathNote'' CrackFic ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5145663/1/ Parental Guidance]]'' Souichiro Yagami insists on giving Light the talk while L listens in and gives his ever-helpful input on the matter.

* In ''DisgaeaInfinite,'' Jennifer offers to give this to Laharl, since he's "at such a complicated age." He freaks out and refuses, but the prinny can make mind-control him into accepting.

[[folder:Jokes]]
* A religious Jewish Israeli joke features a young boy asking his father what ‘gay’ means. The father explains him the whole shtick in detail, and finally the shocked little boy asks, ‘So what’s “''tsalmavet”''?’[[note]]‘Gei’ is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Construct_state construct state]] of ''gai'', ‘valley’. ''Tsalmavet'' means ‘the shadow of death’. In other words, the kid wanted to know what Psalms 23:4 meant.[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

* At the beginning of ''{{Asterix}} and Son'', our hero learns that Obelix still thinks storks deliver babies and concludes they need to have a discussion. And they do, at the end. But judging from Asterix is saying, he doesn't know what he's talking about or is laying the metaphors on too thick (Or it could be the wine, this Talk is happening at a feast);

* A few ''{{Tangled}}'' fanfics have sprung up which involve [[TheIngenue Rapunzel]] learning the finer points of romance and sex, including [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6540988/1/What_You_Dont_Know What You Don't Know]].

* The kinkier side of ''{{Pokemon}}'' fandom has a lot of fun speculating about whether feral child [[VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite N]] has learned the facts of life, and from whom. The guesses (and resulting fics) range from "clueless virgin" to "[[ADateWithRosiePalms self-taught]]" to "well-versed in the ways of [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction Skitty and Wailord]]".

* The [[{{Naruto}} Lee/Gaara]] fic Fanfic/DiplomaticRelations has a [[http://maldoror-gw.livejournal.com/21628.html side chapter]] in which older brother Kankuro tries to have the talk with Gaara, who has known the specifics of sex since he was a preteen, is already having sex with Lee, and has no idea what tact is. Kankuro is in desperate need of BrainBleach by the time it's over.

--> '''Wanda:''' [''slams toilet lid on Cosmo.''] Cosmo, no! Not that speech!

*** Asuma's way: "Here's a porno video. There's the TV. I'll be back in an hour¦"

* ''NowAndThen'' Chrissy gets the talk from her mother (Bonnie Hunt), who is portrayed as either a sexophobe or just overly concerned about her daughter growing up. She starts by explaining that "every woman has a [[UnusualEuphemism garden, and it needs a hose to water it]]." The narrator, Sam (Demi Moore) explains that as a result of this conversation, Chrissy will develop a lifetime obesession with gardening.

* Charlie has an ''exceptionally'' awkward one with Bella in ''[[{{Literature/Twilight}} Eclipse]]''. Billy Burke & Kristen Stewarts reactions make it ''hilarious''.

* Mentioned in ''TheAdventuresOfPeteAndPete''. Dad wants to have a talk (not The Talk) with younger Pete but younger Pete thinks they're gonna have The Talk Cue CrowningMomentOfFunny:

* A religious Jewish Israeli joke features a young boy asking his father what ‘gay’ means. The father explains him the whole shtick in detail, and finally the shocked little boy asks, ‘So what’s “''tsalmavet”?’[[note]]‘Gei’ is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Construct_state construct state]] of ''gai'', ‘valley’. ''Tsalmavet'' means ‘the shadow of death’. In other words, the kid wanted to know what Psalms 23:4 meant.[[/note]]

* ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'': In the episode "Carpet Diem", which came about as a result of an event where [[DisneyChannel the network]] [[ExecutiveMeddling required]] all its shows to come up with some kind of [[FreakyFridayFlip Freaky Friday-style body switching plot]], Stan ends up giving one of these to Mabel trapped in Dipper's body, thinking it is actually Dipper. And it doesn't {{Bowdlerise}} it to make it suitable for the network, instead it skips over most of it with the implication that it really was quite explicit. Stan gets out a book titled ''Why am I so Sweaty: Your Body Explained in Horrifyingly Uncomfortable Detail'', opens to a page explaining how the pituitary gland has "big plans", then the show switches over to a scene from the [[TwoLinesNoWaiting B-plot]], and then it cuts back to Stan closing the book and saying "... and that's where babies come from." The thoroughly traumatized expression on Mabel-Dipper's face says it all...

** [=McDonald's=] are obviously fond of this trope - they also had an ad in the UK where a man finally succeeds in deflecting his daughter's questions about where babies come from by suggesting a trip to [=McDonald's=].
*** Not quite succeeds. The daughter then says that he can tell her all about it when they get there.
*** Ummm, that may have been a [[ImAHumanitarian bit poorly worded...]]
** They've done it again. A recent British ad showed a young boy getting into a car with his dad and asking 'where did I come from?' Once again the dad gives a description, though we only see his motions, including running a hand over the dashboard, vigorous thrusting, and then fountains and fireworks. At the end the boy replies 'that's so cool, Danny only comes from Essex.' Once again, it doesn't seem like the father was holding anything back.

* There is a really funny car ad in New Zealand, where a boy asks his father where he came from. The father then proceeds to explain to the son (with music playing on top of his words) while driving, with the help of [[FreudWasRight visual innuendo]] and gestures. At the end... well, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0YV_Y7zFSU see for yourself]]. Completely safe for work, we promise!

* Subverted in ''CalvinAndHobbes'' in which whenever Calvin asks his dad where babies come from, his dad always messes with him, [[LittleKnownFacts coming up with ridiculous answers]], such as him being dropped down the chimney by a pterodactyl (Calvin thinks that's cool), or a construction kit that was bought on sale. To be fair, Calvin is only six years old.

* Cut short in ''[[DanAndMabsfurryAdventures DMFA]]'' after Dan makes the mistake of asking Fa'Lina, who has appeared uninvited in his house, "So where did you come from?"
** In fact, there is a RunningGag of someone starting a phrase by "Sometimes a male and female X love each other", to elicit a TooMuchInformation response.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'': Dr. Venture decides to give Dean "the talk" since he has a girlfriend (kinda). All we get is a muted montage section with some interesting gestures, a GI Joe humping a lamp, and various other things. Next thing we know the topic has somehow moved to the breakup of {{Whitesnake}}. Dean ends up staging a small version of ''Theatre/LadyWindermeresFan'' for Triana (his female friend).

* Mentioned briefly in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto: Vice City'' in the advertisment for Blox. "Now Timmy is clean, safe from things like dyslexia and won't ask any difficult questions about reproduction."

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutron'', Jimmy is having trouble with a bully, but his parents think he's talking about a girl, so mom tries to get Hugh to give Jimmy the talk. Hugh struggles with the words, but by the time he gets the nerve to do it the conflict is resolved and Hugh ends up giving the talk to Jimmy's robot dog Goddard.

** "Listen up! Flirting is... (fast forward mode)When a guy talks to a girl he doesn't know in the city or a store to invite them to hang around with them. The trick is to smile often, and show that you are a cheerful guy. If the girl agrees to come along, you can take her to a cafe or anywhere else you want. Entertain her plenty, smile constantly, and bring up conversations that modern girls would enjoy talking about. And be sure to include some moderate amount of compliments in between. And you have to pay the bill. In short, just act like Kurz-kun." At which point Sousuke realizes he's in waaay over his head... (The dialogue has been Transcribed by intensive use of freeze-frame on a subtitled version of that episode.)

* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'': Dr. Venture decides to give Dean "the talk" since he has a girlfriend (kinda). All we get is a muted section with some interesting gestures, a GI Joe humping a lamp, and various other things. Next thing we know the topic has somehow moved to the breakup of {{Whitesnake}}. Dean ends up staging a small version of ''Theatre/LadyWindermeresFan'' for Triana (his female friend).

* BillCosby did a routine about the time he had to have The Talk with his daughters. They walk in on him while he's urinating, saying, "Ohhhhhh, daddy! Yooo, daddy! You've got a wallie wallie!! Are we gonna get a wallie wallie too??" He shouts back, "No, you're not gettin' nothin'! Now get outta here!" They leave, but he knows he's going to have to have The Talk with them now, "because little five-and-four-year-olds--and they go to school--love to make up songs about things. 'We saw daddy's wallie wallie...'" And before long the teacher would arrive at his doorstep with the police. "Mr. Cosby, would you come along with us, please?" "What for?" "For showing your kids your wallie wallie." So he finds his daughters in their own bathroom trying to make their own wallie wallies come out, urinating all over the floor. His wife comes in and asks what the hell he's teaching the kids.

* In ''Anime/FullMetalPanicFumoffu'', Kaname gives a sort of similar talk to Sousuke (though it was more explaining what "flirting" and "picking up women" was). No dialogue is heard, and his reaction is to turn deathly pale and break out into cold sweat, stammering that he "can't do that." Lord knows what his reaction would be should anyone ever give him TheTalk about explicit sex.

** There is a Franchise/HarryPotter [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2390459/19/ FanFiction]] in which Ginny, caught by her parents in a somewhat suggestive position, is then given TheTalk by Arthur, using the metaphor of Plugs and Sockets, while short circuits represent pregnancy and childbirth.

* There's [[http://musings-of-apathy.fanficauthors.net/Harry_Potter_and_the_Cracked_Reservoir/index/ a fic]] where each Weasley brother plays a prank on Harry as initiation into the family (he started dating Ginny). One of the pranks was convincing [=McGonagall=] to give Harry TheTalk - ''with animated diagrams''. Afterwards, Harry is coming to his dorms... and meets Ginny who has the same look he does - her mother talked to her, too.

* There's a hilarious one quite simply called ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5933215/1/The_Talk The Talk]]'' where because of his orphan status, various parental figures in Harry's life decide to give him TheTalk. Independently. He ends up going through it ''six times.''
* In ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7118223/1/ Elsewhere, but not Elsewhen]]'', TheTalk goes UpToEleven and CrossesTheLineTwice or more as [[spoiler: it is Lord Voldemort who gives Harry the talk]].

* In ''FanFic/TheLegendOfSpyroANewDawn'', Sparx reveals his dad had TheTalk with him before he left home. He promptly changes the subject because he doesn't want to talk about it. Volteer and Cyril give a rather tame one to Cynder as well. Volteer was about to give a much more...detailed version by Cyril cut him off.

* A Sundance short-film, ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3gNQ2KYCb4 Late Bloomer]]'', has one of the most twisted and Lovecraftian takes on TheTalk. Yes. Creator/HPLovecraft.

** Subverted in ''Discworld/{{Mort}}'' when the ancient Arch-Wizard Albert tells the titular character that ".. there's some things a lad ought to be tole before he's sixteen." Mort is about to explain that he ''already'' knows about TheTalk, but then Albert clarifies he wasn't talking about that.

** Averted in the case of Carrot Ironfounderson, whose adoptive dwarf parents had intended to give him TheTalk at ''dwarf'' adolescence, i.e. age 50. Carrot's girlfriend Angua opts for demonstration over explanation.

* Done on ''TheWonderYears.'' Doug Porter goes into a catatonic state after receiving TheTalk.
* On ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' in the episode "Hysteria," Elliot tries to give daughter Kathleen TheTalk by speaking entirely in soccer metaphors, after which Kathleen reassures her father she's a virgin.

** The audience knows it's going in a different direction, but Daniel's conversation with Reece (a young, female android) in "Menace" initially sounds like it's heading into TheTalk territory. Instead, he's trying to tell her that she's a machine, not a human.

* In ''{{Blackadder}}'', Edmund attempts to explain to Baldrick how chickens are made ("A mummy bird, and a daddy bird, who love each other very much, get certain urges...") before Baldrick interrupts with a cunning plan.

* In ''{{Mortified}}'', Taylor spends an entire episode fleeing from her parents who she thinks are trying to give her TheTalk. Finally cornered, she discovers that they actually want to talk to her about doing her share of the household chores now that she is older. Relieved, she immediately agrees and starts doing the dishes with her mother. However, her mother then takes advantage of having a captive audience to actually give her TheTalk.
* An episode of ''Series/DrQuinnMedicineWoman'' played the trope semi-straight for a different kind of comedy. After her son was spotted when he tried to spy on some skinny-dipping girls, his mother decides he's old enough for TheTalk... and, being a medical doctor, proceeds to read from a textbook on the subject. For hours, apparently. He's bored stiff [[ThatCameOutWrong (NOT THAT WAY)]] and more confused than ever by the end.
** Ironically, Dr. Quinn ends up needing a version of TheTalk herself, with her only knowledge of sex coming from her medical books. Despite being a 30-something woman, she's still a virgin and nervous about her impending wedding night. Luckily, her friend Dorothy is there to offer her advice.

* Played with on ''Series/{{Heroes}}''. Bennet brings up the subject of boyfriends, and Claire fears that they are going to have TheTalk ''again''. Fortunately, he merely wants to discuss how a boyfriend [[ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies might be dangerous, as their family is in hiding]].

* ''Series/{{MASH}}'': Colonel Blake gives a lecture on the dangers of getting STD from the local prostitutes which creates much amusement in those listening, as he acts like an embarrassed father giving TheTalk.

* On ''[[ThirdRockFromTheSun 3rd Rock From The Sun]]'', Tommy got this [[SarcasmMode highly detailed]] sex ed lesson at school:

* Lampshaded in ''LoisAndClark'', where Superman comes to a scientist after he married Lois and stated that he needs to talk since he has a girl now. The scientist thinks at first Superman needs TheTalk, but turns out it was about genetic compatibility.
* ''{{Glee}}'' managed a surprisingly touching and noteworthy scene between a father, Burt, and his gay son, Kurt. It was awkward, but not as much as it could have been - rather than getting into the mechanics of it, Burt (who's pretty clueless about gay sex anyway) gives Kurt pamphlets to read, and proceeds to talk to him about the ''emotional'' impact that sex can have on a man.

** Made even better by the fact that Kurt's first reaction is to [[CrowningMomentOfFunny stick his fingers in his ears and start singing.]]

* One episode of ''KateAndAllie'' had Allie giving TheTalk to her son. It ended with him in a state of acute embarrassment, wailing "My ''mom'' said 'condom'!"
* Subverted in the ''MarriedWithChildren'' episode "Raingirl", where Peggy gives this speech to Kelly:

* Subverted by the Belgian humorist Philippe Geluck. TheTalk starts with rather naive language, to quickly switch into barely understandable anatomy class.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F21xlV494Yg]]

* 19 year old comedian Daniel Sloss had a routine where he describes his father giving him TheTalk. Subverted in that it was actually a talk about shaving...but poor Daniel ''thought'' it was about sex, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxyGrHsKTmo&feature=related which brings it into very close to Squick.]]

* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins'', [[CoolOldLady Wynne]] playfully delivers TheTalk to Alistair in a bit of party dialogue if the female PlayerCharacter begins a [[RomanceSidequest romance]] with him. Alistair is not amused. Zevran does it too, although his is about technique. Alistair is even less amused. If Zevran is being romanced, Shale tries to give him the talk, which leads to a CrowningMomentOfFunny if the PC is also male.

* In ''KnightsOfTheOldRepublic 2'', Mira will deliver a bounty hunter's version of TheTalk to the Handmaiden (if the player character is male) or the player (if the player character is female) if asked how to get a guy's attention.

* In [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2005-10-12 this]] ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' strip Susan, a teenage girl who's [[GenderBender currently a boy]] to make things even more awkward, has to give TheTalk to InnocentFanserviceGirl Grace who already knew about sex but didn't understand [[NoSocialSkills why everyone else was so hung up about nudity]].

** From [[{{Walkyverse}} the same 'Verse]], the ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}'' storyline "Daddy Issues" has Ethan and Leslie trying to give TheTalk to their ''boss'', who doesn't even ''[[http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/01-daddy-issues/hairstyle/ recognise genders]]''. (Yes, he has a daughter. Presumably, that will be explained in due course.)

* Tycho of ''PennyArcade'' got a [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/1/17/ particularly painful subversion]] of TheTalk.

* Occurred for full comedic effect between Bart and Homer later seasons of ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''. TheTalk ends with Bart running around the neighborhood screaming and going door-to-door to pass the knowledge onto his peers, all of which are equally freaked out. At that point and taking certain of his past comments and actions, one would think Bart was already well aware. Recent episodes illustrate that he somehow doesn't know what it is again... [[PingPongNaivete then other times he does]].

* On ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', Bobby's biology class was going to do a sex-ed unit, which Hank and Peggy opposed. Hank said that if their son needed to know anything about sex he would learn it at home. Of course, it turned out that they were both intensely uncomfortable with the idea of talking about sex with their son, so they caved and signed the permission slip. Then Peggy, a substitute teacher, was asked to sub for the biology class, so she had to work to overcome her aversion to TheTalk. (The fact that her own mother's version of TheTalk amounted to giving her a book filled with pictures of flowers didn't help.)

** Of course, Aunt May knows full well that Peter and Uncle Ben had TheTalk. She just wanted Peter to know not to try anything in the house because it would be just as awkward, if not more so.

* On ''HomeImprovement'' Tim has already long given Brad TheTalk, being that he is supposed to be about 15, but things are a bit complicated when there is suspicion that Brad is active with his girlfriend. This leads to Tim having to specify concepts of safe-sex and things get even more awkward when Brad asks him about his first time. They have an honest discussion, which finishes with..

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Doug}}'', In the last episode, Doug's father Phil, after spending the entire season trying to give Doug TheTalk, finally works up the courage to tell him, only for Doug to cut him off and say he already knows about sex, and proceeds to explain it to his Dad. It cuts immediately to after the conversation with his dad walking away saying "Thanks son, I think I learned something" in a completely dazed voice. Either his dad did not understand something (despite having three kids), or Doug is into some creepy stuff.
** Even after Doug was given TheTalk, his parents are completely clueless about Doug's crush on Patti, referring to her as a friend - even inviting her for a sleepover.

* ''Series/{{Stargate SG-1}}'' subverted this memorably in an episode centering around Rya'c getting [[WeddingDay married]] in a traditional [[HumanAliens Jaffa]] ceremony: