History Main / SexEqualsLove

Oddly enough, even open-minded fandoms fall prey to this. An earmark of the more obsessive [[{{Shipping}} shippers]] is no such thing as casual relationships/ dating/sex.

* Surprisingly, it's [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar all but stated]] to have happened in the ''Anime/GrimmsFairyTaleClassics'''s version of ''Literature/{{Rapunzel}}'': she and the Prince are seen waking up in the same bed (fully clothed, but that's probably why the animators got away with it), he then leaves her Tower ''at very early morning'' and some dubs add that he would come at sunset and then stay all night long. [[spoiler: Confirmed later: when [[StarCrossedLovers they're torn apart for years]] and then find each other again, Rapunzel reveals that she gave birth to the Prince's son a few months after their separation and raised him on her own. Since the kid looks [[StrongFamilyResemblance like a bitty Prince with Rapunzel's color scheme]], the Prince [[LukeIAmYourFather immediately acknowledges him as their child]], and the little family lives HappilyEverAfter.]]

* In the ''Series/{{Glee}}'' fic ''FanFic/HuntingTheUnicorn'', [[spoiler: Blaine]] tried to ''invoke'' this out of loneliness and naivete. [[BreakTheCutie It... didn't work.]] He's now carrying lots of emotional baggage.

** The first woman Harry has an active relationship with, Susan, he is unquestionably in love with, and vice-versa. We're talking literally unquestionable here: true, selfless love, coupled with intimacy, [[ThePowerOfLove binds that love into a person's life force which then renders them immune]] [[EmotionEater to the feeding]] of the [[HornyDevils White Court.]] Later on, after some very complicated issues pop up that ruin Harry and Susan's lives, Harry begins a relationship with Anastasia Luccio, [[UnequalPairing technically his superior in the Wardens]]. Then [[spoiler: it is revealed that Luccio was being mind-controlled and her attraction to Harry was intended to let the traitor keep tabs on him]], and as a result Harry's immunity to the White Court is gone, further proving that there wasn't any "true" love involved.

* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'': Jerry started a sexual-only relationship with his friend Elaine Benes, based on an ill-defined set of laws. At the end of the episode, the relationship had evolved to a romantic one, described by them as "this, that and the other". The writers admit they wouldn't have done this if they'd known the show would last so long, so after the following season [[SnapBack nothing about it was ever mentioned again...]]

*** Played with a little bit with Isabela, actually, since the sexual element of the relationship starts something like three or four years before she will come forward about bringing feelings into the mix. And even then that [[YouLoseAtZeroTrust only happens if the player has a good friendship or rivalry with her.]] Otherwise, it really will [[FriendsWithBenefits just be for sex.]]

Even more truthfully, until the 19th/20th century, [[NobilityMarriesMoney marriage was for considerations of status, wealth or power]], and [[HeirClubForMen progeny]] (for anyone you're likely to read about, anyway. This may be one of those cases in history [[RealityIsUnrealistic where]] [[AllThatGlitters it may have been better to be poor]] -- ordinary people were more usually in love at least at the start of their marriage; they may also have been less likely to be virgins, though records of their lives are so sketchy it's quite hard to gauge what were the norms). For love or sex-for-the-fun-of-it one could have [[TheMistress a mistress]], only the Church vociferously frowned upon extra-marital sex. Love within the marriage was considered a lucky bonus, [[MarriageBeforeRomance if it grew there]] (and it probably didn't)

Still, sex was seen as [[SeriousBusiness a sacred and special thing]], so people still refused to have a physical relationship ''unless'' love [[MandatoryMotherhood (or at least the need to produce an heir)]] was involved, and doing it within a marriage was still the rule. Then, the unthinkable (or maybe just long-dreaded) happened: Some [[StrawmanPolitical flag-burning liberals]] acted as if it were OK to have sex JustForFun! No Strings Attached!

* J.D started a similar relationship as "sex buddies" with ex-girlfriend Elliot Reid, from ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', a season after they broke up. When he realized he was still in love with her and decided to tell her, she broke up with him before he could, ironically because she knew that they would fall in love again and didn't want that to happen (GenreSavvy, that one).

** Also played with in a later episode: After Ted and Robin decide to be FriendsWithBenefits, Lily [[GenreSavvy warns them that it's a bad idea, and that their arrangement will wind up with someone getting hurt.]] Ted and Robin are both fine--they never actually fall back in love, although they ''both'' worry about the fact that they somehow automatically start doing little lovey-dovey things like a kiss goodbye every morning. In the end, the person it winds up hurting is ''Barney'', who's secretly in love with Robin. When Ted figures this out, he immediately breaks it off with Robin and allows her to think it's because he's worried about this trope (since Ted is notorious for being a romantic sap), to preserve Barney's secret.

See also: MeetCute, RealityIsUnrealistic, AmIJustAToyToYou, CannotSpitItOut, HookerWithAHeartOfGold, {{OTP}}, {{Shipping}}, SexChangesEverything, {{Glurge}}, ItMeantSomethingToMe, FriendsWithBenefits, and SexFaceTurn. The inverse of this trope is GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex.

In reality the correlation between sex and romance can be anything from strict fidelity between exclusive lovers, to casual sex between friends, to dating, experimenting and anything in-between[[note]]because despite how people like their strict boundaries and categories, things rarely turn out so neatly[[/note]]. Emotions sometimes get the jump on us, and even though people tend to date each other with prospect towards a potential helpmeet, sometimes dating can become casual sex, and sometimes the reverse can be true. So yes, in RealLife people in a casual sexual relationship ''can'' find that after a while physical intimacy with another person fosters a romantic inclination, '''however''', ''this trope'' is when having a sexual relationship with another person ''will'' result in a romantic relationship, no arguing. The trope also has unfortunate implications where [[SexualHarassmentAndRapeTropes rape and sexual assault]] [[VictimFallsForRapist are concerned]].

See also: MeetCute, RealityIsUnrealistic, AmIJustAToyToYou, CannotSpitItOut, HookerWithAHeartOfGold, {{OTP}}, {{Shipping}}, SexChangesEverything, {{Glurge}}, and SexFaceTurn. The inverse of this trope is GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex.

See also: MeetCute, RealityIsUnrealistic, AmIJustAToyToYou, CannotSpitItOut, HookerWithAHeartOfGold, {{OTP}}, {{Shipping}}, SexChangesEverything, and SexFaceTurn. The inverse of this trope is GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex.

* Wrestling/JimmyJacobs was madly in love with The Lovely Lacey, but she only viewed him as a tool. Lacey loved Wrestling/ColtCabana, and was having sex with him too, which Colt wasn't afraid to rub in Jimmy's face. Then Colt dumped Lacey, after he got tired of sex because he didn't love her. Jacobs kicks Colt's ass, many events transpire, Lacey "rewards" Jacobs for all his work and suddenly she is madly in love with him. Jimmy, perhaps recognizing this trope, wants to slow down to ensure their relationship isn't based on lust. It's not, seeing Jacobs finally succeed in the improbable task of taking out BJ Whitmer at [[PyrrhicVictory the cost of his ability to walk]] is what changed Lacey's tune, but sex is what led her to openly declare her love for Jacobs and it's also what broke them apart when Lacey, recruiting for Jimmy's Age Of The Fall, ends up falling for and sleeping with Wrestling/AustinAries, who kisses and tells.[[/folder]]

* Largely averted in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''. The Player Character can engage in, ahem, relations with a number of [=NPCs=] without love entering into it. Somewhat played straight in that two of the game's main love interests — Zevran and Morrigan — will have casual sex with you, but will eventually fall in love with you if you continue the relationship. (You CAN end the relationship after one encounter, however.) The other two love interests, Alistair and Leliana, will only invite you to bed once they've developed feelings for your character.
** It can be said that three of the four love interests will demand fidelity from the PC. (Zevran is cool with you jumping into bed with whoever you like, so long as the other characters aren't getting too attached.)
** Morrigan doesn't want you sleeping with others long before she even ''understands'' the concept of love. Why? Because Morrigan doesn't like to share her things.
* Played straight in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'' with Isabela. Her relationship with Hawke started out as an amusing diversion, yet three years later she's ready to admit that she's falling for Hawke.
** Played with a little bit with Isabela actually, since the sexual element of the relationship starts something like three or four years before she will come forward about bringing feelings into the mix. And even then that [[YouLoseAtZeroTrust only happens if the player has a good friendship or rivalry with her.]] Otherwise, it really will [[FriendsWithBenefits just be for sex.]]
** Averted with the other three romanceable companions, however.

* Averted in VisualNovel/{{Canvas 2}} twice in Hagino's route. [[spoiler:First, they start to have sex at the end of a date before really loving the other, then stopping. Later, there's an optional sex encounter with the woman Hiroki used to hate and still doesn't really like.]]

* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'': Jerry started a sexual-only relationship with his friend Elaine Benes, based on a ill-defined set of laws. At the end of the episode, the relationship had evolved to a romantic one, described by them as "this, that and the other". The writers admit they wouldn't have done this if they'd known the show would last so long, so after the following season [[SnapBack nothing about it was ever mentioned again...]]
* J.D started a similar relationship as "sex buddies" with ex-girlfriend Elliot Reid, from ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', a season after they broke up. When he realised he was still in love with her and decided to tell her, she broke up with him before he could, ironically because she knew that they would fall in love again and didn't want that to happen (GenreSavvy, that one).

* Lawyer Brad Chase, from ''Series/BostonLegal'', had an agreement centering around sex with his colleague Denise, described as "Friend With Benefits". They are now engaged, at his request.

* Surprisingly, it's [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar all but stated]] to have happened in the ''Anime/GrimmsFairyTaleClassics'''s version of ''Literature/{{Rapunzel}}'': she and the Prince are seen waking up in the same bed (fully clothed, but that's probably why the animators got away with it), he then leaves her Tower ''at very early morning'' and some dubs add that he would come at sunset and then stay all night long. [[spoiler: Confirmed later: when [[StarCrossedLovers they're torn apart for years]] and then find each other again, Rapunzel reveals that she gave birth to the Prince's son few after their separation and raised him on her own. Since the kid looks [[StrongFamilyResemblance like a bitty Prince with Rapunzel's color scheme]], the Prince [[LukeIAmyourFather immediately aknwledges him as their child]], and the little family lives HappilyEverAfter.]]

* Surprisingly, it's [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar all but started]] to have happened in the ''Anime/GrimmsFairyTaleClassics'''s version of ''Literature/{{Rapunzel}}'': she and the Prince seen waking up in the same bed (fully clothed, but that's probably why the animators got away with it), he then leaves her Tower ''at very early morning'' and some dubs add that he would come at sunset and then stay all night long. [[spoiler: Confirmed later: when [[StarCrossedLovers they're torn apart for years]] and then find each other again, Rapunzel reveals that she gave birth to the Prince's son few after their separation and raised him on her own. Since the kid looks [[StrongFamilyResemblance like a bitty Prince with Rapunzel's color scheme]], the Prince [[LukeIAmyourFather immediately aknwledges him as their child]], and the little family lives HappilyEverAfter.]]

* A JustifiedTrope in the manga version of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu]]'', with [[spoiler: Princess Rackesis and Finn]]. They had gone through [[BreakTheCutie horrifyingly hard times]] that left them emotionally drained and barely able to return from the DespairEventHorizon, and also [[spoiler: they were going to be separated, as Fin was about to return to Lester with Quan and Ethlyn so [[MustNotDieAVirgin they didn't know if they'd ever see each other again]].]] Even more so, it's kind of a plot point later: [[spoiler: the night where Raquesis and Fin "deflowered" each other... was the one where Raquesis's eldest son Delmud was conceived.]]

* While [[Manga/MiraiNikki Yuki and Yuno]] were already strongly attached to each other and Yuki darted back and forth about how he felt about Yuno because of being subjected to the sight of the corpses in her house. He later falls head over heels for her midway in the beginning when he decided to put to rest his suspicions about her being touched by how much she protects him. However, Yuno [[spoiler:kidnapping him in the middle of the series]] has him going back to being healthily cautious of her then went back to loving her when he told him he could [[spoiler:bring his parents back to life]] by becoming god. Come the finale he decided to have sex with her on the 27th of July rather than the 28th as predicted by the Future Diary in the beginning of the story on Yuno's phone. After consummating their love in chapter 52 (manga)/episode 23(Anime) everything comes to a head when [[spoiler: Yuki asks her if she lied to him about being able to revive his parents which she admits to lying about and apologizes.]] While that matter is easily brushed aside [[spoiler: Yuno's real trigger to starting FinalBattle of the story is confronting him about Akise's DyingMessage.]] No matter what happened in the FinalBattle Yuki cannot bring himself to [[spoiler:kill Yuno even though she makes it clear she's out to kill him so she can carry out her EvilPlan to continue repeat the Future Diary battle with Yukiteru's from other worlds.]]

* To a degree this could apply to Guts and Casca from ''Manga/{{Berserk}}''. After helping each other, they begin treat each other more nicely and have a few nice conversations where they're not biting each other's head off. Guts and Casca are separated for a year and when he returns, not 24 hours later they have sex. Guts treats Casca as his true love from that point on. {{Justified}} in that he has serious issues with intimacy such that it's believable that he would bond very strongly to someone who was able to get past his barriers; also, [[spoiler: it's not as though they had much time to work out what an actual relationship between the two of them would be like]].

* This is one of the issues behind [[spoiler: Yasu]] in ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry''. [[spoiler: Because of Yasu's mutilated sexual organs [[AmbiguousGender he/she]] is unable to have sex and is afraid that the persons his/her alternative selves/personas (Shannon, Kanon, Beatrice) love will leave him/her if (s)he reveales the truth.]] The series never comments upon whether [[spoiler: Yasu]] is right or not but that's not the point, the important part is that those feelings exist and is a big part of [[spoiler: Yasu]]'s problems.
* Inverted and (possibly) played straight in Emi's path in KatawaShoujo. Emi is [[spoiler: afraid to get emotionally close to her boyfriend Hisao, even after they've started having sex, because she's afraid of being hurt like [[DisappearedDad before]]. Hisao is rather frustrated and refers to their relationship as [[FriendsWithBenefits "friends who like to fuck"]], and to ''actually'' approach Emi in the emotional sense, he will have to work ''hard''.]]

* A JustifiedTrope in the manga version of [[FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu]], with [[spoiler: Princess Rackesis and Finn]]. They had gone through [[BreakTheCutie horrifyingly hard times]] that left them emotionally drained and barely able to return from the DespairEventHorizon, and also [[spoiler: they were going to be separated, as Fin was about to return to Lester with Quan and Ethlyn so [[MustNotDieAVirgin they didn't know if they'd ever see each other again]].]] Even more so, it's kind of a plot point later: [[spoiler: the night where Raquesis and Fin "deflowered" each other... was the one where Raquesis's eldest son Delmud was conceived.]]

In reality the correlation between sex and romance can be anything from strict fidelity between exclusive lovers, to casual sex between friends, to dating, experimenting and anything in-between[[note]]because despite how people like their strict boundaries and categories, things rarely turn out so neatly[[/note]]. Emotions sometimes get the jump on us, and even though people tend to date each other with prospect towards a potential helpmeet, sometimes dating can become casual sex, and sometimes the reverse can be true. So yes, in RealLife people in a casual sexual relationship ''can'' find that after a while physical intimacy with another person fosters a romantic inclination, '''however''', ''this trope'' is when having a sexual relationship with another person ''will'' result in a romantic relationship, no arguing.

Even more truthfully, until the 19th/20th century, marriage was for considerations of status, wealth or power, and progeny (for anyone you're likely to read about, anyway. This may be one of those cases in history where it may be better to be poor -- ordinary people were more usually in love at least at the start of their marriage; they may also have been less likely to be virgins, though records of their lives are so sketchy it's quite hard to gauge what were the norms). For love or sex-for-the-fun-of-it one could have a mistress, only the Church vociferously frowned upon extra-marital sex. Love within the marriage was considered a lucky bonus, if it grew there (and it probably didn't)

Still, sex was seen as a sacred and special thing, so people still refused to have a physical relationship ''unless'' love (or at least the need to produce an heir) was involved, and doing it within a marriage was still the rule. Then, the unthinkable (or maybe just long-dreaded) happened: Some [[StrawmanPolitical flag-burning liberals]] acted as if it were OK to have sex JustForFun! No Strings Attached!

* Play Date by Melanie Martinez appears to be about a one-sided case.Nearly the whole song is about Crybaby showing her resentment towards a guy who she feels just sees her as a new notch in his bedpost. The song itself is clearly about a sexual relationship with two people being narrated through metaphors.

-->Don't want to leave this play date with you"''

->''"I don't give a fuck about you anyways
Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you?
You never share your toys or communicate
I guess I'm just a play date to you"''

->''"You know I give a fuck about you everyday
Guess it's time that I tell you the truth
If I share my toys, will you let me stay?
Don't want to leave this play date with you"''

* Play Date by Melanie Martinez appears to be about a one-sided case.Nearly the whole song is about Crybaby showing her resentment towards a guy who she feels just sees her as a new notch in his bedpost.

"I don't give a fuck about you anyways

I guess I'm just a play date to you"

But by the end, she seeme to be confessing her reason behind all her anger (she was probably starting to secretly grow feelings for him).

"You know I give a fuck about you everyday

Don't want to leave this play date with you"

* This is one of the issues behind [[spoiler: Yasu]] in UminekoNoNakuKoroNi. [[spoiler: Because of Yasu's mutilated sexual organs [[AmbiguousGender he/she]] is unable to have sex and is afraid that the persons his/her alternative selves/personas (Shannon, Kanon, Beatrice) love will leave him/her if (s)he reveales the truth.]] The series never comments upon whether [[spoiler: Yasu]] is right or not but that's not the point, the important part is that those feelings exist and is a big part of [[spoiler: Yasu]]'s problems.

* Most couples who start a relationship based only on sex [[SexEqualsLove will end up in a romantic relationship]].

* In ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'', Owen began having uncompromised sex with his colleague Gwen Cooper. This sexual relationship subverted the SexEqualsLove idea when it broke down due to Owen falling in love with someone else.

-->--'''Barney Stinson''', ''Series/HowIMetYourMother''

* Juno [=McGuff=] and Paulie Bleeker in ''{{Juno}}''.
* Edward and Vivian in the film ''PrettyWoman''.

* [[AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "VERONICA CORNINGSTONE AND I HAD SEX! AND NOW WE'RE IN LOOOOOOOOVE!"]]
* Jim and Michelle from the ''AmericanPie'' movies.