History Main / SexEqualsLove

* Specifically averted in ''Manhua/GoddessCreationSystem''. Xiaxi needs to make Mingluan fall in love with her, but while his sister is pushing her to sleep with him and get used to sex Xiaxi holds back. She knows that if she has sex with him when he doesn't love her, she'll be nothing more than a bedwarmer - not what she needs.

Back before the sexual revolution, premarital and extramarital sex were looked upon with scorn, and often treated as though they didn't exist.

Back before the sexual revolution, men and women could have sex if they were married or...well, that was pretty much the only way.

Okay, okay. Truthfully, premarital and extramarital sex have been occurring pretty much since marriage was invented. But it was looked upon with scorn, and often treated as though it didn't exist.

* This is one of the issues behind [[spoiler: Yasu]] in ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry''. [[spoiler: Because of Yasu's mutilated sexual organs [[AmbiguousGender he/she]] is unable to have sex and is afraid that the people his/her alternative selves/personas (Shannon, Kanon, Beatrice) love will leave him/her if (s)he reveals the truth.]] The series never comments upon whether [[spoiler: Yasu]] is right or not but that's not the point, the important part is that those feelings exist and is a big part of [[spoiler: Yasu]]'s problems.

Even more truthfully, until the 19th/20th century, [[NobilityMarriesMoney marriage was for considerations of status, wealth or power]], and [[HeirClubForMen progeny]] (for anyone you're likely to read about, anyway). This may be one of those cases in history [[RealityIsUnrealistic where]] [[AllThatGlitters it may have been better to be poor]] -- ordinary people were more usually in love at least at the start of their marriage; they may also have been less likely to be virgins, though records of their lives are so sketchy it's quite hard to gauge what were the norms). For love or sex-for-the-fun-of-it one could have [[TheMistress a mistress]], only the Church vociferously frowned upon extramarital sex. Love within the marriage was considered a lucky bonus, [[MarriageBeforeRomance if it grew there]].

* Subverted in ''{{Literature/Nemesis}}'', where the Archdeacon says he knows a relationship based solely on sex isn't going to work out.

* Specifically averted in ''Manhua/GoddessCreationSystem''. Xiaxi needs to make Mingluan fall in love with her, but while his sister is pushing her to sleep with him and get used to sex Xiaxi holds back. She knows that if she has sex with him when he doesn't love her she'll be nothing more than a bed warmer. Not what she needs.

* It's mentioned somewhere in the ''LightNovel/StrawberryPanic'' novels that Yaya would seduce girls and that 'emotions of love would grow afterwords.' [[SubvertedTrope She wonders why this didn't work on]] [[spoiler: Hikari.]]

[[folder:Films]]
* Juno [=McGuff=] and Paulie Bleeker in ''Film/{{Juno}}''.

* Played absolutely straight in ''Film/ZackAndMiriMakeAPorno''. Direct quote:

** Also happens in the WhatIf episode, "The One That Could Have Been". Among other changes, in an alternate universe Chandler quit his [[SoulCrushingDeskJob boring desk job]] to become a struggling writer and Monica never lost the weight from her teenage years and is still a virgin at age thirty. Monica is passionlessly dating a man who seemingly has no interest in her when she spontaneously decides to lose her virginity to Chandler to get it done with. Though they both enjoy the experience, Chandler is dismayed when Monica still regards him as a friend doing her a favor and returns to her boring boyfriend. In the end Chandler confesses that he wants to be her boyfriend because out of all the women he's been with, she was the only one he truly felt comfortable and happy with. The episode ends with Chandler and Monica happily dating once more.

** Also happens in the WhatIf episode, "The One That Could Have Been". Among other changes, in an alternate universe Chandler quit his [[SoulCrushingDeskJob boring desk job]] to become a struggling writer and Monica never lost the weight from her teenage years and is still a virgin at age thirty. Monica is passionlessly dating a man who seemingly has no interest in her when she spontaneously decides to lose her virginity to Chandler to get it done with. Though they both enjoy the experience, Chandler is dismayed when Monica still regards him as a friend doing her a favor and returns to her boring boyfriend. In the end Chandler confesses that he wants to be her boyfriend because out of all the women he's been with, she was the only one he truly felt comfortable worth. The episode ends with Chandler and Monica happily dating once more.

* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': Daenerys and Drogo form a romantic bond once Dany gets tutored on how to take control of her sex life.
* Done perplexingly in the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode ''Film/TrackOfTheMoonBeast''. The main character and his love interest spend one night together and ''everyone'' in the movie treats them as if they're in a long-term relationship.
* In ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', Rory had a friends-with-benefits/casual dating arrangement with Logan who was a known womanizer. When she decided she couldn't handle it and tried to break it off, he, of course, offered a commitment.
* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'': Jerry started a sexual-only relationship with his friend Elaine Benes, based on an ill-defined set of laws. At the end of the episode, the relationship had evolved to a romantic one, described by them as "this, that and the other". The writers admit they wouldn't have done this if they'd known the show would last so long, so after the following season [[SnapBack nothing about it was ever mentioned again]]...
* J.D started a similar relationship as "sex buddies" with ex-girlfriend Elliot Reid, from ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', a season after they broke up. When he realized he was still in love with her and decided to tell her, she broke up with him before he could, ironically because she knew that they would fall in love again and didn't want that to happen.
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': Chandler and Monica started a sexual relationship in London that they initially intended to limit to London. That fell apart after only one episode. The casual nature of their relationship fell apart after only three, and they eventually ended up HappilyMarried. Subverted in that several episodes throughout the first four seasons (when they were just friends and nothing more) had made it clear that they did love each other very much, just not in a sexual way. Apparently, introducing the sex was the only nudge needed for them to cross what was clearly (for them) a blurred line between platonic and romantic love. There's also the fact that previous seasons had both of them struggling not to get attached to people they slept with: In one episode Chandler started a FriendsWithBenefits relationship with a woman only to realize he needed more and call it off, while Monica tried to hook up casually with her ex-boyfriend only to fall in love with him again. So both of them were doomed to be this trope from the start really.
* Averted in ''Series/DoctorWho''. There have been several occasions in recent years where the Doctor's companion has fallen in love with the Time Lord, and a couple of occasions in which he reciprocates. Yet with the exception of innuendo from River Song, there is never any indication of sexual relations. Creator/PeterCapaldi is on record as describing the relationship between the Twelfth Doctor and Clara Oswald as "an old-fashioned romance". Love is unambiguous in their relationship, with Clara at one point even challenging the Doctor into action with the words "If you love me in any way, you'll come back" and revealing an intimate knowledge of the Doctor that most prior companions have not possessed. The Doctor has also expressed (in his own way) devotion to Clara. At one point (in the episode "Last Christmas") Clara directly states that the Doctor is the only man she'd imagine marrying. And the finale trilogy of Series 9 strips away any illusions that Clara and the Doctor aren't in love with each other (to the degree that the entire universe is threatened by it). Yet nothing sexual has ever been implied in the series, pushing against the trope that suggests love and romance (implied or direct) must involve sex. Instead, as shown several times in both Series 8 and 9, Clara and the Doctor substitute action (saving the world, being chased by Daleks, the adrenaline rush of near-death experiences) for physical intimacy.
* In ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'', Owen began having uncompromised sex with his colleague Gwen Cooper. This sexual relationship subverted the sex equals love idea when it broke down due to Owen falling in love with someone else.
** Played straight with Jack and Ianto. Their relationship does turn into mutual love, but Ianto's more openly attached.

* Doctors Chase and Cameron, fellows of doctor Gregory ''Series/{{House}}'', started having casual sex at Cameron's suggestion. Cameron later broke the relationship off when Chase developed feelings for her, but they did end up together at the end of the season (3) and married at the end of season 5.
** [[spoiler: And divorced halfway through season 6.]]

* Subverted into ''Love Equals Sex'' between Elizabeth and Lawrence of period drama ''Series/UpstairsDownstairs''. They're married, but he's an aloof poet and refuses to touch her. It doesn't help matters that when she attempts to get an annulment on grounds of impotence, she's [[TheBabyTrap pregnant with someone else's kid]].
* Subverted in ''Series/SexAndTheCity'' when Carrie tries to go on actual dates with her "fuck buddy," convinced that their great sex has to mean a great emotional connection as well. It doesn't.
* Barney fell in love with Robin after having slept with her in a season three episode of ''Series/HowIMetYourMother''. He didn't actually ''realize'' that he was in love with her until he had a near-death experience, though.
** Also played with in a later episode: After Ted and Robin decide to be FriendsWithBenefits, Lily warns them that it's a bad idea and that their arrangement will wind up with someone getting hurt. Ted and Robin are both fine--they never actually fall back in love, although they ''both'' worry about the fact that they somehow automatically start doing little lovey-dovey things like a kiss goodbye every morning. In the end, the person it winds up hurting is ''Barney'', who's secretly in love with Robin. When Ted figures this out, he immediately breaks it off with Robin and allows her to think it's because he's worried about this trope (since Ted is notorious for being a romantic sap), to preserve Barney's secret.

* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''. Anya claims to want to have sex with Xander only as a way to get over him. Sure enough, once they do have sex, she wants to make the next step so they start dating in the very next episode and end up having a long-term relationship.
** Averted with everyone Faith has sex with. At one point in Season 3, she takes Xander's virginity. Nothing else comes of it (in fact Xander nearly gets killed by Faith after assuming this trope [[ItDoesntMeanAnything makes them more intimate than they actually are]]). In Season 7, she and a guy do hook up. They break up in-between seasons and he's PutOnABus. Also averted with Buffy's fling with Parker, though that was him being a dick and her taking it really badly.
** {{Deconstructed}} and subverted with Spike and Buffy in seasons 6 and 7. In season 6, they begin an intensely sexual DestructiveRomance that Spike ''hopes'' will lead to this trope. However due to him being soulless at the time, thus [[AlwaysChaoticEvil evil]] by nature and entirely unequipped with a moral compass of his own combined with a relationship where they have no safe way of saying no has dire consequences. In season 7, after Spike has [[spoiler: earned back his soul]], they start a tentative {{UST}}-laden friendship. By the end of the season, they mutually admit they’d never felt closer to each other than they did then, having spent a night together [[SleepCute holding each other]], completely fully-clothed and without having sex. They notably never even kiss throughout the season, however their emotional bond is highly emphasized and concludes with Buffy’s first LoveConfession [[TheILoveYouStigma since]] she broke up with Angel.
* ''Series/{{Angel}}''. Wesley and Lilah have very disturbing sex-only encounters for a while, eventually placing a bet on who would be first to call it a "relationship." Wesley loses. It's shown that sex ends up causing emotional attachments and complications for both of them, with each of them trying to "save" the other: Wesley had hoped to save her from evil and Lilah had hoped to corrupt him to evil. This does not end well.
* In the ''Series/DegrassiTheNextGeneration'' movie, ''Degrassi Takes Manhattan,'' Spinner and Emma decide they are meant to be together after a couple of days of friendship, an AccidentalMarriage, and one night of sex. The really crazy thing? Both of them were too drunk to actually remember said sex.
** Well to be fair, they did actually spend a few more days having sex before deciding to stay married for good.
* In the first episode of ''Series/TheLWord'' a character is commenting on the fact that almost all lesbians in a given community have done each other eventually. This leads her to conclude that we are all connected by "love."

-->I don't give a fuck about you anyways
-->Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you?
-->You never share your toys or communicate
-->I guess I'm just a play date to you

-->You know I give a fuck about you every day
-->Guess it's time that I tell you the truth
-->If I share my toys, will you let me stay?
-->Don't want to leave this play date with you

---> Hazel: Did she know she was your girlfriend?
---> Thea: You act like she doesn't know what a girlfriend is.

** The first woman Harry has an active relationship with, Susan, he is unquestionably in love with, and vice-versa. We're talking literally unquestionable here: true, selfless love, coupled with intimacy, [[ThePowerOfLove binds that love into a person's life force which then renders them immune]] [[EmotionEater to the feeding]] of the [[HornyDevils White Court]]. Later on, after some very complicated issues pop up that ruin Harry and Susan's lives, Harry begins a relationship with Anastasia Luccio, [[UnequalPairing technically his superior in the Wardens]]. Then [[spoiler: it is revealed that Luccio was being mind-controlled and her attraction to Harry was intended to let the traitor keep tabs on him]], and as a result, Harry's immunity to the White Court is gone, further proving that there wasn't any "true" love involved.

* ''Film/FiftyShadesTrilogy'': Both [[AlphaCouple Anastasia-Christian]] and [[BetaCouple Kate-Elliot]] end up falling in love and become OfficialCouple after having sex.

See also: MeetCute, RealityIsUnrealistic, AmIJustAToyToYou, CannotSpitItOut, HookerWithAHeartOfGold, {{OTP}}, {{Shipping}}, SexChangesEverything, {{Glurge}}, ItMeantSomethingToMe, FriendsWithBenefits, OneTrueLove, and SexFaceTurn. The inverse of this trope is GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex.

* Lieutenant [[EagleLand Steven Hudson]] has a one-night stand with biologist Kim Keller when visiting one of the ''Worlds of Aldebaran'' (''ComicBook/LesMondesDAldebaran''). He would later forbid her from having a similar relationship with a colonist, claiming it would compromise her partiality regarding the object of study (a CosmicHorror).

Still, more often, there is a tendency among fandom to look upon ''any'' sex in a given series or film as cheap FanService, preferring to keep their relationships relegated to {{Subtext}} and seemingly disregarding the fact that people in love have been known, from time to time, to have sex. This is particularly prevalent among [[YuriFan yuri fandom]].

* It's mentioned somewhere in the LightNovel/StrawberryPanic novels that Yaya would seduce girls and that 'emotions of love would grow afterwords.' [[SubvertedTrope She wonders why this didn't work on]] [[spoiler: Hikari.]]
* A JustifiedTrope in the manga version of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu]]'', with [[spoiler: Princess Raquesis and Fin]]. They had gone through [[BreakTheCutie horrifyingly hard times]] that left them emotionally drained and barely able to return from the DespairEventHorizon, and also [[spoiler: they were going to be separated, as Fin was about to return to Lester with Quan and Ethlyn so [[MustNotDieAVirgin they didn't know if they'd ever see each other again]].]] Even more so, it's a plot point later: [[spoiler: the night where Raquesis and Fin [[TheirFirstTime "deflowered" each other]]... was the one where Raquesis's eldest son Delmud was conceived.]]
* Flay Allster from ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEED'' (in)famously fooled Kira into this trope, by seducing him when he was weak [[spoiler: as a method of {{revenge}} since she blames him for the death of her beloved father.]] [[spoiler: Ironically, ''she'' [[BecomingtheMask fell in love with him for real]] in the end.]]

* [[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/106068/1/relax/intimacy Relax]] by [[http://www.fimfiction.net/user/kalash93 Kalash93.]] While the relationship between the prostitute and her recurring client is primarily sexual and professional, their genuine warmth and affection for each other are built on real connection and understanding. This is made particularly visible in a very heartwarming way near the end, where the protagonist talks about making the prostitute his bride and taking her home with him when the war is over. Also, she won't kiss clients while on the job but kisses him when their session is over.

* In the ''Series/{{Glee}}'' fic ''FanFic/HuntingTheUnicorn'', [[spoiler: Blaine]] tried to ''invoke'' this out of loneliness and naivete. [[BreakTheCutie It... didn't work]]. He's now carrying lots of emotional baggage.
* In ''FanFic/{{Shatterheart}}'' when Syaoran starts to fall for Kurogane during their FriendsWithBenefits relationship, Kurogane breaks it off because he doesn't feel that way. Kurogane, to his horror, ends up developing feelings for Syaoran regardless. Justified because they had already formed intense emotional bonds before and after they started to sleep together.

* This is one of the issues behind [[spoiler: Yasu]] in ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry''. [[spoiler: Because of Yasu's mutilated sexual organs [[AmbiguousGender he/she]] is unable to have sex and is afraid that the persons his/her alternative selves/personas (Shannon, Kanon, Beatrice) love will leave him/her if (s)he reveals the truth.]] The series never comments upon whether [[spoiler: Yasu]] is right or not but that's not the point, the important part is that those feelings exist and is a big part of [[spoiler: Yasu]]'s problems.

* In VisualNovel/TrueLoveJunaiMonogatari, ''the'' sign that a girl is in love with the PlayerCharacter is that she'll be willing to have sex with him.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* Play Date by Music/MelanieMartinez appears to be about a one-sided case. Nearly the whole song is about Crybaby showing her resentment towards a guy who she feels just sees her as a new notch in his bedpost. The song itself is clearly about a sexual relationship with two people being narrated through metaphors.