History Main / SexAsRiteOfPassage

* In many languages, loss of virginity is euphemistically described in terms of maturity. The English language uses the phrase "becoming a man/woman" while the Japanese language uses the phrase "becoming an adult".
* Similarly, the French expression "déniaiser" means losing one's virginity, with "niais" being a term for someone with a child's ignorance of life.

** "Summer (The First Time)" by Bobby Goldsboro. Like several other examples, this 1973 song is about a young man reflecting on a hot summer day 10 years before when, as a 17-year-old, he was smitten by a beautiful 31-year-old woman.

** Though simply knowing how [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin "stork summoning"]] is done is enough to become part of the Conspiracy. Jenny Elf and Gwenny Goblin are shown uncensored Tapestry pictures of a couple going at it, in order to initiate them, as they needed the knowledge to complete their Humphery-given task. (Che didn't count; as a centaur, he already knew the "raw facts")

[[folder:Film]]

* The universe of the anime and manga ''{{Manga/Loveless}}'' has a unique aspect in that all virgins have cat ears and a tail until they first have sexual intercourse, and this is utilized in various ways to show a character's personal life. It's also [[SubvertedTrope subverted]] and questioned, especially with Soubi [[spoiler:who loses his ears as a result of sexual abuse by his teacher in a traumatic experience]]. What makes it more twisted is that [[spoiler: Soubi was raped by Ritsu because Ritsu resented Soubi's mother for marrying someone else]].
* In the ''Manga/{{Kodocha}}'' manga, Sana proposes to Akito to have sex [[spoiler: as a way in which both could see each other as adults, before he went overseas. When he agrees to do it, the mood gets ruined at the very moment that Sana proves to be too ticklish. Fortunately, both Sana's mother and her manger barge in before anything else can happen and Sana receives an earful from [[AuthorAvatar her mother]] about what a bad idea this was.]]
* ''Anime/GunXSword'' appears to play this trope straight at one point, with [[EvilIsSexy Fasalina]] promising to turn the newest member of the Original Seven into a man through sex. However, this is later [[SubvertedTrope subverted]], as the narrator explicitly states that Van (a virgin) is a man, while [[spoiler: Michael]], despite his initiation into adult sexuality, is just a boy.

* [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]] in ''Film/TheHairyBird.'' When pressed about her future goals by her friend group, Odette says her foremost one is to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Dennis. Later, [[spoiler: when she finally tries to do the deed with Dennis, she realizes she isn’t into him as much as she thought and doesn't go through with it]].
* A harrowing example in ''Film/LeavingLasVegas''. A group of frat boys "buys" Sera to make a man of him. When she rejects his request, [[spoiler: they gang-rape her]].

** One of the boys chooses to cover his eyes when the prostitute removes her top, proclaiming that he "wants to be a gentleman." This is fortuitous, as it removes the squick factor of the prostitute's likely disposition at the end of the movie as [[spoiler: his future stepmother.]]

** Though after this triumph, Nurse Ratched [[spoiler: [[DontTellMama threatened to tell his mother]]. Billy promptly [[{{Deconstruction}} started stuttering again]], locked himself into a room, and [[DrivenToSuicide killed himself]]]].

* The ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'' has Miles' first time described in his thoughts and fitting the FeudalFuture, it matches a traditional one of European aristocrats- on a "Grand Tour". Miles went to [[PleasurePlanet Beta]] and had his first experience with a woman who had a fetish for those deformed like himself. When he saw her with someone else, he tried to slit his wrists and was only stopped from suicide by [[BattleButler Bothari]] (the context of Miles' memory is that he knows Bothari was a psycho, but he also remembers Bothari's kindness to him).

* In Creator/IsaacAsimov's ''Literature/TheGodsThemselves'', there's an alternate universe and humans have discovered absurdly cheap power by exploiting the different rules of their universe and ours. In the alternate universe, there are three kinds of gaseous people and a kind of solid people. [[spoiler: the solid people are the merging - which is their analog of sex - of three gaseous people]].

** [[spoiler: He never does lose it, either, instead dying to save her life.]]

** He did lose it at some point though. Didn't he have sex with Al's boss(female)Gary

** Which leads to a hilarious reveal in the final episode with [[spoiler: Neil]].

* Taketo Kanzaki's sequel in ''VisualNovel/ClassTripCrush'' takes an interesting angle on the trope. Early in the route, Taketo and the protagonist agree to have sex if Taketo's high school soccer team wins an upcoming national tournament; when an accident leaves Taketo with a cracked rib just before the tournament begins, that promise is one of the main things behind his determination to get back onto the field in spite of his injury. In fact, the protagonist is looking forward to it almost as much as Taketo is and there's no real reason that victory has to be a requirement - except that Taketo wants it to be as momentous and meaningful as possible, and won't settle for less than winning the tournament [[spoiler:and ending his soccer career on a high note]] beforehand, to the point that if the team ''doesn't'' win, he decides to wait and try again at the ''summer'' tournament... rather to the protagonist's disappointment.

* Taken to another level in TheMockbuster Creator/TheAsylum film, ''The 18-Year-Old Virgin''. The titular virgin is a female HollywoodNerd who wants to lose it to her crush at a party. The guy is open to the idea but doesn't want to have sex with a virgin, so she has to find ''someone else'' to take her virginity before she can hook up with her dream guy. HilarityEnsues.

* Thoroughly deconstructed and horrifyingly averted in ''Film/FatGirl''.

* In the ''Manga/{{Kodocha}}'' manga, Sana (thirteen at the time) wants to hurry up and "become an adult" because she imagines that [[spoiler: if they're adults, she and Akito won't have to be separated. They get in bed and partially undress, but Sana proves to be too ticklish and nothing happens because the mood is ruined.]] [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]] (arguably even [[DiscreditedTrope discredited]]) because it's clear that [[spoiler: Sana's becoming extremely irrational / mentally unstable]] at this point, and [[AuthorAvatar Sana's mother]] explicitly refutes this trope when they talk about it afterward.

-->-- '''Arthur Shelby, Jr.''', ''Series/PeakyBlinders''

* Slightly parodied in ''Series/GameOfThrones''. Tyrion and Bronn set this up for Podrick (with three high-priced prostitutes). When he comes back, as awkward and boyish as ever, still carrying all the money they assume he refused to go through with it. Apparently he [[SexGod impressed them so much they forgot to ask for the money]]. Not only that, upon hearing he still has the money, "Sit down Podrick," Tyrion says. "We're going to need details. Copious details." What they hear apparently impresses them so much that they are still talking about it the next episode.

* [=YouTube=] personality [[WebVideo/DrNerdLove [=DrNerdLove=]]] challenges this thinking in "The Virginity Paradox", saying that losing your virginity doesn't really change the person you are, that you'll still be the same person you were before it happened.

* In an ''Fanfic/EmpathTheLuckiestSmurf'' mini-story, Tapper and Duncan [=McSmurf=] both comment about Empath's privilege of being the first Smurf among his generation to lose his virginity to a female Smurf (in this case, Smurfette) after being legally married to her. Duncan is both jealous and proud of Empath, while Tapper simply says that the experience belongs solely to Empath and only he has the right to disclose or not disclose anything about it.

Often a subtrope of the ComingOfAgeStory. Contrast with the CelibateHero theory, which says, "Real men can resist sex." Compare SexIsCool. Often found in the SexComedy. A subtrope of this trope is ProfessionalSexEd. See also TheirFirstTime. Closely related to VirginShaming, which is about people being mocked for not being sexually active.

* In ''Literature/TheRedTent'', girls in Padan-Aram undergo a ritual upon reaching their first period where they are masturbated with a small household idol by their female relatives, in order to a) break their hymen to offer the resultant blood to the goddess Inanna, and b) encourage (via orgasm) the girl undergoing the ritual to [[DreamingOfThingsToCome dream about what her destiny holds]]. The Canaanite women, who do not do this ritual, view it as disgusting.)

* The entire plot of the film ''Film/AmericanPie'', which in turn owes more than a passing debt to the similarly-structured 1980s comedy ''Hot Moves''.

* Another female example would be Winona Ryder's character Charlotte in ''Film/{{Mermaids}}''. This is somewhat of an inversion, however, in that Ryder's (Jewish) character embraces strict Catholicism, and even hopes to become a nun, precisely to ''avoid'' having to deal with her newly-awakened sexual urges. [[spoiler:She ends up doing it in the end, however.]]

* Played with in ''Film/{{Submarine}}''. Oliver makes it a goal to lose his virginity and clearly sees this as a key part of his coming of age narrative. But after doing the deed, he's no more mature, and it doesn't advance his relationship. Subverted with his partner Jordana-- she's only willing to sleep with him after he tells her she should just "get it[[note]]losing her virginity[[/note]] over with", avoiding the meaning and ritual usually associated with the event.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

* The ''{{Series/Firefly}}'' episode "Jaynestown" dances back and forth between playing this straight and [[SubvertedTrope subverting]] it. Inara, the show's HookerWithAHeartOfGold, is hired by a rich snob to "make his son a man." The son has much more confidence afterwards, but it's not clear how much was meant to be attributed to the sex and how much to Inara's pep-talks before and after. Inara herself doesn't believe in this, saying that her having sex with him "means something to your father, but it doesn't make you a man. You do that yourself."

* [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]] in an episode in ''{{Series/MASH}}'' with a wounded soldier who is taunted by his for waiting to have sex until marriage. He finally has enough when they deal him a hand of pornographic cards just to tease him for being flustered and claims to be volunteering for a dangerous mission, even going so far as to request the necessary paperwork to do so. He is ultimately convinced by Potter that he shouldn't do anything he is uncomfortable with, be it sex or putting his life in even greater risk, in order to prove himself as a man to anyone.

* An episode of ''Series/{{Hotel|1983}}'' has a man try to get his son to lose his virginity to a hooker friend of his. The son privately admits to one of the main characters that he's not a virgin anymore but respects the girl's privacy too much to tell his father. When the son runs out on the hooker, she suggests someone more his age and calls another call girl. The son finally gives in an approaches the woman he assumes is the other hooker. Except the woman he approaches turns out to be an undercover cop and busts him for soliciting sex.

** Country music band Atlanta's 1983 debut single, "Atlanta Burned Again Last Night," was about the sexual encounter between a 17-year-old high school senior and a 31-year-old woman, both who felt emotionally and sexually neglected. (He had been dating a classmate who had been crowned homecoming queen; she was in her second marriage and the elder of her two children was nearly as old as he was.)

* Country music band Atlanta's 1983 debut single, "Atlanta Burned Again Last Night," was about the sexual encounter between a 17-year-old high school senior and a 31-year-old woman, both who felt emotionally and sexually neglected. (He had been dating a classmate who had been crowned homecoming queen; she was in her second marriage and the elder of her two children was nearly as old as the kid she has sex with.)
* "Summer (The First Time)" by Bobby Goldsboro. The song's narrator describes how, as a 17-year-old, he lost his virginity to a 31-year-old woman.

* Music/GarthBrooks, "That Summer." Another song about a middle-aged woman de-virginating a teenage boy.

* In ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX'', Yuna has her first time after [[spoiler:she escapes from her arranged marriage to Seymour and rebels against the Yevon faith]], asserting herself for the first time as an independent person with her own needs and desires. (This is in stark contrast to the [[StepfordSmiler emotionally distant]] living figurehead she was before, a girl who lived [[spoiler:and died]] solely [[ExtremeDoormat to help others]].)

* In the ''Manga/KodomoNoOmocha'' manga, Sana (thirteen at the time) wants to hurry up and "become an adult" because she imagines that [[spoiler: if they're adults, she and Akito won't have to be separated. They get in bed and partially undress, but Sana proves to be too ticklish and nothing happens because the mood is ruined.]] [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]] (arguably even [[DiscreditedTrope discredited]]) because it's clear that [[spoiler: Sana's becoming extremely irrational / mentally unstable]] at this point, and [[AuthorAvatar Sana's mother]] explicitly refutes this trope when they talk about it afterward.

* Boner (pronounced "Bonner") in ''Film/ShriekIfYouKnowWhatIDidLastFridayTheThirteenth''. He spends the entire movie trying to get some. At one point, he spontaneously declares that the protagonists should [[Film/AmericanPie make a pact to lose their virginity before graduating]]. Everyone turns him down simultaneously (but [[TheDitz Slab O'Beef]] agrees). At lunch (oysters, natch), he laments that roofies aren't getting him laid when he takes them (Slab opines that he's not taking enough). Even when it looks like he's getting some at the climax, it's all [[InnocentInnuendo sight gags]] to illustrate [[ActionGirl Martina Martinez's]] [[Film/{{Scream 1996}} rules of a parody situation]]. A HospitalHottie jumps him for his BiggusDickus as he's being loaded into an ambulance. The WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue reveals that she's a post-op transsexual; Boner doesn't care.

* T.G. Sheppard's 1982 hit, "War Is Hell (On The Homefront Too)" has a man recalling how he lost his virginity to an [[MrsRobinson older woman]] while her husband was away fighting in UsefulNotes/WorldWarII.

* "Summer (The First Time)" by Bobby Goldsboro. The song's narrator describes how, as a seventeen-year-old, he lost his virginity to a thirty-one-year-old woman.