History Main / RidiculousCounterRequest

-->'''Col. Gathers:''' Congratulations lad, you're a fully matriculated student at State University.\\

* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBros'': In a conversation between Billy Quizboy and Col. Hunter Gathers in a flashback in "[[Recap/TheVentureBrosS3E3TheInvisibleHandOfFate The Invisible Hand of Fate]]":

** Another episode "[[Recap/TheVentureBrosS2E4EscapeToTheHouseOfMummiesPartII Escape to the House of Mummies Part II]]" has this exchange in its anachronic events:
-->'''Head cultist:''' Give me the Hand of Osiris.\\

[[folder:Myths & Religion]]
* Literature/TheBible: In addition to God's deadpan snarks to Job, when he finally enters the conversation in Job 38, e.g., "Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?" (Job 38:31, KJV), this also happens in the apocryphal Second Book of Esdras, particularly the 4th chapter, e.g., when Uriel asks Esdras, "...weigh me the weight of the fire, or measure me the blast of the wind, or call me again the day that is past" (II Esdras 4:5, KJV Apocrypha).
[[/folder]]

* ''Series/TheSopranos'': In the [[Recap/TheSopranosS1E13IDreamOfJeannieCusamano season one finale]], Tony's uncle Junior is arrested on federal racketeering charges. The FBI wants him to flip and agree to testify against the New York mob leaders:
-->'''FBI Interrogator:''' We want Johnny Sack. But more than him, we want Mangano and Teresi.\\

If a DeadpanSnarker is asked to do something that they can't (or don't want to) make happen, they have many options for a response. They can give a BluntNo. They can [[HaHaHaNo laugh in their face first]]. They can give the SilentTreatment until the person asking them gets the hint and clams up. Or, they can answer in kind with something they consider to be equally unlikely.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'': In "Angelica the Magnificent", Angelica does magic tricks, and the babies think she turned Lil into a butterfly. She tries to change Lil back, to no avail,

* [[DownplayedTrope Downplayed]] during a conversation between Kratos and Mimir in ''VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok'', as their requests aren't exactly ridiculous, but they are still impossible.

'''Mimir:''' Well... [[LosingYourHead I'd like to climb a tree again.]] [[CaptainObvious Certain ships have sailed.]]

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]

-->"Yeah, and I want a toilet made out of solid gold. It's just not in the cards now, is it?"

* ''Series/{{Community}}'': In "[[Recap/CommunityS2E23AFistfulOfPaintballs A Fistful of Paintballs]]," Annie turns down Jeff's desire to talk to her while lampshading having to wear a {{Stripperiffic}} costume.

* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': A patient is afraid of using anesthesia during surgery, and wants to use hypnosis instead.
--> '''Turk''': And I wanna have sex with Beyonce tonight instead of my wife, but that ain't gonna happen either.

---> ''Dr. Cox''': [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Yeah, and I'd like to throw it over to Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan, but that ain't gonna happen either.]]

[[folder:Religion & Mythology]]

* [[DownplayedTrope Downplayed]] during a conversation between Kratos and Mimir in VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok, as their requests aren't exactly ridiculous, but they are still impossible.
-->'''Mimir:''' What are you thinking, brother?
-->'''Kratos:''' I am thinking... [[NothingIsTheSameAnymore I want things to be the way they were.]]
-->'''Mimir:''' Well... [[LosingYourHead I'd like to climb a tree again.]] [[CaptainObvious Certain ships have sailed.]]

* In the WebVideo/BrandonRogers video "Helen the Hall Monitor," self-professed HopeCrusher Helen says the following to a student sharing what they want to be when they grow up:
-->'''Helen:''' You wanna become what? A ''doctor?'' I wanted to become a ballerina, and you know what I became? [=HIV=] positive.

-->'''Dipper:''' Grunkle Stan, we want different rooms.
-->'''Stan:''' Ha! And I want a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen.
-->'''Mabel:''' ''[confused]'' Magic money pants...?

* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': In "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E5HomerVsDignity Homer vs. Dignity]]", Homer asks Comic Book Guy for a mint-condition copy of ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'' #1, Comic Book Guy retorts that he'd like an hour on the holodeck with [[Series/StarTrekVoyager Seven of Nine]].

'''Billy:''' I kinda wanted to go to [=MIT=].\\

'''Garfield:''' I could use a Lamborghini but you don't hear me whining.

[[folder:Film--Live-Action]]

-->'''Katie:''' Greg, I want a yacht, what do you want?\\

'''Katie:''' I want-\\

---> '''Dr. Cox''': [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Yeah, and I'd like to throw it over to Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan, but that ain't gonna happen either.]]

* Literature/TheBible: In addition to God's deadpan snarks to Job, when he finally enters the conversation in Job 38, e.g., "Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?" (Job 38:31, KJV), this also happens in the apocryphal Second Book of Esdras, particularly the 4th chapter, e.g., when Uriel asks Esdras, ". . . weigh me the weight of the fire, or measure me the blast of the wind, or call me again the day that is past" (II Esdras 4:5, KJV Apocrypha).

-->'''Mabel:''' (confused) Magic money pants...?

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[[/folder]]
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* [[DownplayedTrope Downplayed]] during a conversation between Kratos and Mimir in VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok.

* {{ComicStrip/Garfield}}:

----

* ''WesternAnimation/Ninjago'': During their interrogation of Sons of Garmadon member Luke Cunningham, they ask him to talk, only for him to respond by requesting ice cream and saying they can't get everything they want.

[[folder:Religion/Mythology]]
* The Bible: in addition to God's deadpan snarks to Job, when he finally enters the conversation in Job 38, e.g., "Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?" (Job 38:31, KJV), this also happens in the apocryphal Second Book of Esdras, particularly the 4th chapter, e.g., when Uriel asks Esdras, ". . . weigh me the weight of the fire, or measure me the blast of the wind, or call me again the day that is past" (II Esdras 4:5, KJV Apocrypha).

-->'''Alice:''' Bob, I'd like a raise.
-->'''Bob:''' Yeah, and I'd like to win the lottery, but we can't get everything we wish for.

--->'''Jon:''' I could use a hug!
--->'''Garfield:''' I could use a Lamborghini but you don't hear me whining.

-->'''Peter:''' I'd like to go home.
-->'''Deadpool:''' And I'd like the [=McRib=] to be available year-round, but sometimes dreams don't come true!

-->'''Jensen:''' I'd love to talk to her ahead of time, before the race.
-->'''Gunner:''' Yeah, I'd like a big-tittied girl to lick peanut butter off my toes, but it ain't gonna happen.

-->'''Vasily:''' I want to make a speech at my father's funeral!
-->'''Khrushchev:''' And I want to fuck Creator/GraceKelly.

-->'''Customer:''' Hey! I wanted the fried clams!
-->'''Uma:''' And I wanted a sea pony. Life ain't fair!

-->'''Katie:''' Greg, I want a yacht, what do you want?
-->'''Greg:''' I want a Lamborghini!
-->'''Katie:''' I want-
-->'''Oliver:''' Okay, okay, I get it!

-->'''President Navarro:''' I want zero civilian casualties.
-->'''Larson:''' Yeah, and I want to fuck Creator/ScarlettJohansson.

-->'''Abed:''' Jeff wants to see you.
-->'''Annie:''' Yeah? And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.

-->'''Kaylee:''' I'd sure love to find a brand new compression coil for the steamer.
-->'''Mal:''' And I'd like to be King of all Londinium[[note]]one of the Alliance's two capital worlds[[/note]] and wear a shiny hat.

-->'''Freddie:''' I just wanted people to think I was creative.
-->'''Sam:''' And I wanted a mom without stretch marks. That ain't happening.

-->'''Luke Young:''' You can't do this to me. I want my parents!
-->'''John Munch:''' Yeah, and I want the troops home, the Kyoto Protocol signed, and a Tijuana oil job from Miss February.

-->'''Stu:''' I'm not leavin' until I get a refund!
-->'''Brian:''' [[SarcasmMode Did ya hear that, Jerry? You best make him a bed up.]]
-->'''Stu:''' I want my money back!
-->'''Brian:''' ''I'' wanna moonwalk, son, but life's a shithouse! ''Out!''

-->'''Impulse:''' I want a lawyer.
-->'''Lex:''' [[BaldnessAngst And I want a ponytail.]] Disappointment abounds.

-->'''FBI Interrogator:''' We want Johnny Sack. But more than him, we want Mangano and Teresi.
-->'''Junior:''' I wanna fuck Creator/AngieDickinson, let's see who gets lucky first.

-->'''Jonah:''' Well now, I want a new office!
-->'''Roger:''' And I want Music/{{Rihanna}} to put a gun to my head while she makes me eat her out, but guess what, that's about as likely to happen as Will's wife putting a baby in her polyp festival of a uterus!

-->'''Rory's elf:''' Grundle, I want you to grab the ruby eye for me.
-->'''Grundle:''' And I want you to choke on my goblin balls. We all got wants.

-->"You wanna become what? A ''doctor?'' I wanted to become a ballerina, and you know what I became? [=HIV=] positive."

-->'''Man:''' We'd like a table for two.
-->'''Daffy:''' Great. I'd like a pair of solid gold pants, but I'm not bugging ''you'' about it.

-->'''Col. Gathers:''' Congratulations lad, you're a fully matriculated student at State University.
-->'''Billy:''' I kinda wanted to go to [=MIT=].
-->'''Col. Gathers:''' And I wanted to be born with ''big, beautiful tits!''

->'''Alice:''' Bob, I'd like a raise.
->'''Bob:''' Yeah, and I'd like to win the lottery, but we can't get everything we wish for.

Common themes for the response include wishing to become wealthy or achieve some world-renowned feat. [[AllMenArePerverts Men in particular]] are likely to talk about fulfilling a sexual fantasy, usually involving a CelebrityCrush. Alternately, they can just ask for something blatantly impossible or paradoxical, or something they wanted in the past that they clearly never got (like a gift they wanted as a child, or a TragicDream they never fulfilled). If the person they're talking to is particularly SarcasmBlind, they may have to follow it up by saying something to the effect of "LifeIsntFair" or "But you don't hear ''me'' whining about it."

Compare AndImTheQueenOfSheba, AskAStupidQuestion and IsTheAnswerToThisQuestionYes

** [[https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1999/08/18 One strip]] has Jon having this conversation with himself. He wishes Garfield wouldn't attack the mailman, and when Garfield does just that, Jon adds on that he also wishes for a million dollars and a new car.

* ''Series/AmericanHousewife'': Oliver, who is often characterized as a {{Spoiled Brat}}, asks his parents for $480 Golden Goose sneakers. In response, his parents laugh and start listing off absurdly expensive things they want too:

* Webcomic/SomethingPositive: [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/organized-labor/ In a D&D game,]] Rory's character has NPC goblin henchman named Grundle to pick up a potentially trapped item. The DM gives Grundle a sarcastic attitude due to being overworked and underpaid:

(Indices: {{Dialogue}}, InsultTropes, OhGreatASnarkIndex, StockPhrases)