History Main / MyGirlIsNotASlut

** Averted. Roger didn't realize that his new girlfriend, Diana, was a [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold prostitute]], even after ''paying her for sex'' (it had been [[http://www.crfh.net/d/20001102.html a bit of a misunderstanding]],

* A whole episode of ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' revolves around this. [[JewishMother Marie Barone]] drops hints that the newest of her daughters-in-law is the more preferable of the two because Amy had no sexual partners before meeting robert Barone. Again without saying it out loud and by using insinuations, this is contrasted unfavourably with Debra Barone having had other boyfriends prior to meeting Raymond. what finally deflates Marie is her husband Frank reminiscing about the other boyfriends she, Marie, had prior to marrying Frank.

[[folder:Film]]

-->'''Elmer''': I'm not gonna just sit there and watch you soil my Princess!
-->'''Luke''' (laughing): I hate to break it to you, but she ain't your princess. She's a whore!
-->'''Elmer''': Why you potty-mouthed ''[[HypocriticalHumor son of a bitch]]!''

* ''Film/Mastizaade:'' Despite [[{{Hypocrite}} his own promiscuity]], Sunny is disappointed to learn Laila is a sex addict much like him, as he truly fell in love with her and wished she acted more "proper" instead and rejects her advances as long as she only wants casual sex. He finally accepts her when she starts to dress and act more conservatively for his sake so they can marry and be together.

** On the other hand, fandom took this and ran away with it ''far'' more than canon. One of the biggest reasons of the hate against Ginny that goes on among fans ([[DieForOurShip especially if they're Hermione/Harry fans]]) is her supposed "sluttiness" and wanton ways of having... 3 boyfriends in 2 years (and actually [[spoiler:marrying the third one]])! Never mind that dating is ''[[TruthInTelevision extremely]]'' common in real life, and most girls date ''many'' guys, often times ''without'' ever sleeping with them, especially when they're as young as or even younger than Ginny, before they finally marry the man of their dreams. Also never mind that Hermione was the one who suggested that Ginny date other people to get over Harry.

-->''Susan had met the enemy and she was a slut"

* Enforced in ''Manga/CryingFreeman'' where Emu is ''required'' to keep her body for the Freeman only and, in case she was to be raped, to commit suicide rather than have another man sully her body. Of course, You the Freeman is free to gallivant to his penis's content.

* The focus of two separate Kevin Smith films ''Film/{{Clerks}}'' and ''Film/ChasingAmy''. ''Chasing Amy'' was loosely based on Kevin Smith's relationship with star Joey Lauren Adams. Kevin Smith's character [[WriterOnBoard goes into a monologue about how sexist, conservative, and double-standard this is, and how it mostly derives from fear]].

Compare NoGuyWantsToBeChased, BestHerToBedHer, DefiledForever, MadonnaWhoreComplex, NatureAdoresAVirgin, SlutShaming. Contrast TheUnfairSex, MyGirlIsASlut, GoodBadGirl, FreeLoveFuture. Subtrope of MenActWomenAre.

!!Examples

* Inverted with glee in ''Literature/AtlasShrugged'': Hank Rearden is successfully blackmailed over his extramarital affair with Dagny Taggart by Dr. Ferris, who says that the shame of their affair being made public would be ''hers'', not his. However, when the same information is used to blackmail Dagny, she proudly confesses to having slept with Rearden. It's probably a case of WriterOnBoard as Ayn Rand was famous for her views on total sexual liberation and free love. (Something that's forgotten by many of her modern fans...)
** The subject of sexuality is one of many examples of the novel's MoralDissonance. Earlier, Hank flies into a homicidal rage over Dagny's relationship with Francisco; later, he [[spoiler: finds out she's leaving him for John Galt]] and is perfectly sanguine about it. Rand applauds Dagny and Hank's extramarital affair but still considers "whore" to be a [[SlutShaming terrible insult]]. (Come to think of it, the knee-jerk aversion to prostitution also conflicts with Rand's belief that capitalism is the best system for ''everything''...)

* ''Manga/{{Kannagi}}'' had a meta version of this, after finding out Nagi had a boyfriend before, Japanese otaku were NOT AMUSED. The fact that the reveal was rather trollish and a CreatorBreakdown (the author got sick, so the manga's on hiatus indefinitely) left an unresolved cliffhanger didn't help.

* In the original novel ''Bollywood/{{Devdas}}'' the titular character is initially disgusted with Chandramukhi for her profession as a [[HighClassCallGirl courtesan.]] He eventually marries her, but only after she gives up her profession to be with him, and he's always dogged by his feelings for ProperLady Paro.

This means that the leading lady will be in a monogamous "meaningful relationship", usually with the leading man, while the leading man will have a varied and adventurous sex life. Anyone knocking the chastity of the hero's girl is even more likely to get punched out than anyone calling the hero [[VirginShaming a virgin]]. It could sometimes look like TheHero can [[YourCheatingHeart womanize]] happily to his heart's (or other organs') content, but [[IWillWaitForYou his best girl will still wait for him]]. This is why NatureAdoresAVirgin.

* Averted in ''Series/{{Mash}}''. While never explicitly shown, it's clear many of the nurses willingly sleep around. The nurses are never portrayed as sluts, and the only characters who sometimes object, Frank and Margaret, have more problems with the unequal ranks of the couples than that they see the females as sluts.

* The ''[[Literature/PsyChangeling Psy/Changeling]]'' novels by Nalini Singh can't decide if they are this or not. On one hand, the narration tells us that sex is healthy for both sexes, and changeling women are very sexually liberated. On the other hand, every single hero has been wildly sexually experienced, while every heroine has been virginal or had a cold, unfulfilling love life. The one woman (Tally) who has had other lovers before the hero is [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop berated by him]] for [[DoubleStandard "selling herself so cheaply"]] -- despite his own sexual experience. The trope becomes so pervasive that it leads to a ''literal'' [[spoiler:virgin mother. Her marriage was a sham concocted to explain her test-tube baby.]]

For the last few hundred or more years, sexually active men have often been admired for their virility and sexual "conquests" (unless he is a cad, or [[UnusualEuphemism picking only low hanging fruit]])[[note]]It's not like things have always been that way for everyone. Culture in [[UsefulNotes/DynastiesFromShangToQing Ming Dynasty China]], for instance, held that a man was manly either by being a chaste warrior or an incredibly promiscuous and scholarly/cultured [[{{bishounen}} pretty-boy]]. One's life expectancy was supposed to be ''radically'' shorter if one was in the latter category, in part because medical science speculated that male ejaculation entailed transferring some of one's finite store of (male) life force to the receiver (which is why male masturbation was avoided by anyone with good sense), but largely because of all the jealous lovers and husbands, not to mention [=STIs=].[[/note]] while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. Before birth control became readily available, this DoubleStandard probably had something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence (barring [=STDs=]), whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever.

People suffering from the condition retroactive jealousy feel bad because of their loved one's past. Retroactive jealousy happens with all genders but apparently, men have more sexual jealousy and women tend to have romantic jealousy. It often results in undue stress for everyone involved. The sufferers may even end up imagining their partner with someone else obsessively. Many blame themselves for having these feelings, but there are others who blame their SO, invoking this trope and DefiledForever. Retroactive jealousy is considered a form of pure O, a subset of OCD. The treatment/cure is working on self-esteem and realising that there is a reason your partner chose you and that the past is irrelevant.

* Jim Jefferies says that this double standard isn't as unfair as it sounds, due to women on average being far more sexually selective than men, [[AllMenArePerverts who will basically screw anything with a hole and a heartbeat]]. Therefore a man sleeping with a lot of women is a much greater accomplishment than the other way around because he actually had to put in some amount of effort. In his words:
-->It’s fuckin’ easy to be a slut. It’s fuckin’ hard to be a stud. To be a stud you have to be witty, charming, be well-dressed, have nice shoes, and a fake job. To be a slut you just have to be ''there''. There are fat, ugly sluts out there. There are no fat, ugly studs.

People suffering from the condition retroactive jealousy feel bad because of their loved one's past. Retroactive jealousy happens with all genders, but apparently men have more sexual jealousy and women tend to have romantic jealousy. It often results in undue stress for everyone involved. The sufferers may even end up imagining their partner with someone else obsessively. Many blame themselves for having these feelings, but there are others who blame their SO, invoking this trope and DefiledForever. Retroactive jealousy is considered a form of pure O, a subset of OCD. The treatment/cure is working on self-esteem and realising that there is a reason your partner chose you, and that the past is irrelevant.

* Invoked in the {{josei}} manga ''Manga/ParadiseKiss''. It is revealed two boys and a girl ([[spoiler:Arashi, Tokumori and Miwako]]) were in a LoveTriangle in the past. Around the same time, we also find out the guy who got the girl, [[spoiler:Arashi]], forced her to lose her virginity with him. This is a source of many issues for the couple, because along with the (''understandable'') massive guilt he feels for the act itself, he thinks by raping her he stole her chances to change her mind and get together with [[spoiler: Tokumori]] instead (it's even hinted he did it as a desperate measure to force her to stay with him in the first place). Then again, this series loves [[{{Deconstruction}} deconstructing]] shojo clichés.

* Averted in ''ComicBook/SinCity''. When Marv learns that his one and only one night stand was a prostitute, it surprises him but he doesn't really care. Dwight, likewise, apparently doesn't care that his on-again-off-again flame is a prostitute as well.

''Jerry's Narration''': I knew deep down that Annabeth was not a slut. Although she was a prostitute when she was under the controls of the false gods Zeus and Venus, since she had converted to Christianity she had stayed clean.

* ''[[Film/{{Porkys}} Porky's 2: The Next Day]]'': In the previous film, Pee Wee was so desperate to have his SexAsRiteOfPassage that he was happy to go with the easiest girl in the school and announce his new-found manhood with a Tarzan yell. Now he finds he likes her, and her reputation bothers him. "Before, I wanted it to be true, now I guess I don't," he says. Fear not, Pee Wee, Wendy's reputation was much exaggerated.

* Downplayed in ''Film/WatchIt''. After Rick and Ellen have finally have sex, she reveals she hasn't slept with anyone in a long time before him, nor has she slept with many people before him. This ends up freaking him out, because he realizes she only sleeps with people she really cares about, and he wants to keep the relationship casual. It ends up leading to some major {{jerkass}} behavior on his part, though he eventually gets better.

* OlderThanFeudalism: Odysseus of Creator/{{Homer}}'s ''Literature/TheOdyssey'' slept with both Circe and later Calypso (although it may not have been voluntary, as he is described as trying to fight her desire, but she "compelled him") without any criticism from other characters, the gods, or the narrators. Back at home, Odysseus's wife Penelope remained faithful for 20 years, which was sort of the minimum acceptable behavior for a woman -- the unfaithful women in the story, Helen and Clytemnaestra, are viewed as responsible for some pretty major tragedies. After Odysseus returns, he goes as far as killing all of the '''maids''' who slept with the suitors even though they just worked for him. Plus, you have three virgin goddesses (Hestia, Athena, Artemis) but ''definitely'' no virgin gods. Calypso even complains about this double standard -- male gods take human lovers all the time, but they object when a goddess does the same.
** Margaret Atwood's ''The Penelopiad'' takes Penelope's point of view and starts each chapter with poems from the maids, lamenting their unjust deaths. Though in the case of the maids, it's less about sleeping with the guests (which was a part of their work, and not frowned upon) and more about them spilling them ''vital'' information that could've gotten the kingdom as a whole in trouble, which equalled to ''high treason''. One of the girls told one of the suitors about Penelope's BatmanGambit to buy time through the veil she sewed and then destroyed each night to keep the guys away from her.
** The story of Penelope's cousins Helen and Clytemnaestra is a little more complex. Helen may be considered partly responsible for the Trojan War, but is not punished, but reinstated as Menelaos' queen, with the prospect that both of them will not die but travel directly to the Elysian fields. Of course it helps that Helen is Zeus' daughter. Clytemnaestra is not just guilty of cheating on her husband with Aigisthos -- the murderer of her husband's father -- but also Aigisthos' accomplice in the murder of Agamemnon and herself the murderer of Cassandra and her children. And the way things were presented in the Odyssey (there are various non-Homeric alternate stories), Odysseus as a mortal could not prevent [[DoubleStandardRapeDivineOnMortal goddesses Circe and Calypso]] [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale having their way with him]], but did refuse the offer of mortal Nausicaa's hand in marriage.
** In one version Clytemnestra's first husband was Tantalus, King of Pisa, who was killed by Agamemnon. Agamemnon then took her as his wife forcibly and also murdered her infant son. Then comes the part that every version agrees of: he sacrificed their daughter Iphigenia to the goddess Artemis after telling Clytemnestra he was going to marry her off to the hero Achilleus. Doesn't make what she did alright, but double standards are working here, too. No old myth would have questioned a man's right to turn axe happy after being crossed repeatedly and so cruelly.

* ''Literature/MemorySorrowAndThorn'' contains a somewhat complex version. Simon, raised a kitchen scullion, harbors an UnrequitedLove for [[RebelliousPrincess Princess Miriamele]]. Believing her to be out of his reach, he tries (unsuccessfully) to "make time" with other girls. On a mission as her knight protector late in the story, as Simon finally works up the nerve to kiss her, Miriamele [[MomentKiller rebuffs him brutally]] with the knowledge that she slept with a Nabbanai nobleman while she was held captive on his ship. Simon is made furious by this perceived betrayal and rejection, and behaves so recklessly as a result that he nearly gets them both killed. For her part, Miriamele does this intentionally, believing herself to have been DefiledForever even though Aspitis effectively raped her. It takes several more chapters before they reconcile these issues.

* The ''[[Literature/PsyChangeling Psy/Changeling]]'' novels by Nalini Singh can't decide if they are this or not. On one hand, the narration tells us that sex is healthy for both sexes, and changeling women are very sexually liberated. On the other hand, every single hero has been wildly sexually experienced, while every heroine has been virginal or had a cold, unfulfilling love life. The one woman (Tally) who has had other lovers before the hero is [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop berated by him]] for [[DoubleStandard "selling herself so cheaply"]] -- despite his own sexual experience. The trope becomes so pervasive that it leads to a ''literal'' [[spoiler:virgin mother. Her marriage was a sham concocted to explain her test tube baby.]]

* Inverted with glee in ''Literature/AtlasShrugged'': Hank Rearden is successfully blackmailed over his extramarital affair with Dagny Taggart by Dr. Ferris, who says that the shame of their affair being made public would be ''hers'', not his. However, when the same information is used to blackmail Dagny, she proudly confesses to having slept with Rearden. It's probably a case of WriterOnBoard as Ayn Rand was famous for her views on total sexual liberation and free love. (Something forgotten by many of her modern fans...)
** The subject of sexuality is one of many examples of the novel's MoralDissonance. Earlier, Hank flies into a homicidal rage over Dagny's relationship with Francisco; later, he [[spoiler: finds out she's leaving him for John Galt]] and is perfectly sanguine about it. Rand applauds Dagny and Hank's extramarital affair, but still considers "whore" to be a [[SlutShaming terrible insult]]. (Come to think of it, the knee-jerk aversion to prostitution also conflicts with Rand's belief that capitalism is the best system for ''everything''...)

* [[Literature/{{Reckless}} The Mirrorworld Series]]: Jacob and [[spoiler:Clara's]] mututal attraction is left nicely ambiguous, but they're both ashamed of [[spoiler:KissingUnderTheInfluence]]. Becomes vitally important seeing as [[spoiler: [[ThePowerofLove Clara needs to be Will's True Love for their quest to succeed]]]]...

* Averted in ''Literature/TheGoblinEmperor'': Maia is a virgin himself, and at one point in the narrative thinks that perhaps he should have asked his advisors to [[ArrangedMarriage arrange]] his marriage to a widow, so that at least one of them would know what they're doing. It also didn't help Maia's mother any to have come to her marriage bed a virgin - all that did was to ascertain that the emperor was indeed Maia's father, and having to acknowledge the half-goblin as potential heir was not something the elven emperor was happy about.
* In ''Literature/{{Corpies}}'', Bubble Bubble's [[CorporateSponsoredSuperhero corporate-sponsored]] public image is that of a demure, wholesome girl. She always wears sensible, conservative clothing. Then a paparazzi reveals that she slept with a movie director 2 years ago. Said director had failed to mention that he was already in a relationship with a well-known actress. When the paparazzi released the photos, the director, facing flak from both the public and his girlfriend, decided to shift the blame entirely to Bubble Bubble, claiming that, as a [[DifferentlyPoweredIndividual Super]], she might have used some kind of mind-control power on him. Despite Bubble Bubble's abilities being well documented, the non-Super public is clearly leaning towards the director's story and begins to [[SlutShaming slut-shame]] Bubble Bubble. Titan asks his agent Lenny to take Bubble Bubble on as a client. Instead of trying to rescue her "quiet girl" image, which he could do, he suggests that, instead, she owns having consensual sex with a man she thought was single. The fact that ''he'' cheated on his girlfriend says absolutely nothing about her, since she didn't know. When she goes on a talk show, the host, predictably, attacks her, only for her to turn the table on him and aggressively attack this outdated trope, pointing out that the's absolutely nothing wrong with a woman having consensual sex with someone she likes. The host doesn't know what to say, having clearly not been prepared for this.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

* Played with in ''Radio/GoodnessGraciousMe'', the skit show from the people who later made ''The Kumars at Number 42''. A Pakastani woman is telling another that she heard the other's son was sleeping around. The other begins to defend him, but soon changes tactics - "My son is a stud!" - and goes on to describe his manly sexual exploits.

** Except that there was an episode called ''Are We Sluts?'' were the characters questions whether they are too promiscuous and Charlotte worries because "nobody wants to marry a whore" and in another episode she's reluctant to try anal sex because "men don't marry up-the-butt girl."

* ''Series/GoodTimes'' plays with this trope. When Florida finds a term paper called "Sexual Behaviors in the Ghetto", she assumes that it's dirty and thus belongs to JJ. JJ denies it. When Florida tells James, he gives JJ an attaboy and pats him on the back and is proud of him. However, when it's revealed that it belongs to Thelma, James goes beserk and basically puts her on lockdown without allowing her to explain that it belongs to her boyfriend who wrote the paper for his master's degree program. Florida sets James straight, but he is still angry until the boyfriend reveals that Thelma is still a virgin because she has a good support system at home and a strong father.

* Angela Montenegro of ''Series/{{Bones}}'' averts this one: she has more sex than anyone else on the show, but doesn't get punished for it. Neither does Brennan, who isn't chaste herself. The only time Brennan's promiscuity is portrayed in a negative light is when she is dating two men simultaneously without telling them. There's also the mother of Booth's first child, who refused to marry him but has no problem with an occasional hookup with Booth despite dating someone at the time. This finally stops, when Bones intervenes and tells her that it isn't fair to the Catholic Booth.
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''. Terms like 'slut' and 'ho' are used to describe female characters while promiscuous or woman-chasing men get no criticism for their behavior. In fact when Buffy and Xander spy a couple of teenagers dancing provocatively Buffy calls the girl - [[spoiler: who turns out to be Dawn]] - a slut but says nothing about the boy. Similarly Cordelia called Faith "slut-o-rama" for dancing flirtatiously with a man but said nothing about him except about his fashion sense.

* ''Series/StepByStep'': In the season six episode "It Didn't Happen One Night," the trope becomes My Sister Is Not a Slut when Karen grudgingly decides to defend her sister Al, after she had gotten a reputation at school as being "easy." Earlier in the show, Al and the school hunk, Kyle, had gone on a date, but when they began to share a kiss, Kyle used a trick seat to jump on top of Al; she fought him off, but the next day at school, Kyle brags that the two had sex, leading to Al gaining an unwanted reputation as a slut, and her emotional breakdown at school. Karen's way of getting to the truth -- when all of Kyle's friends and (ex) girlfriends are around -- is similar to the "Rumor Has It ..." episode of ''Family Matters'', and in the process averts Al's threatened nervous breakdown.
* ''Series/TheSopranos''. Almost all the gangsters cheat on their wives and have sex with prostitutes while expecting 100% faithfullness from their wives -- a rumor of infidelity leads to one woman being brutally beaten while already injured from a car crash -- and viewing prostitutes as worthless.

* Any time female rapper sings about sex. Khia's sexually explicit song "My Neck My Back" is put on Youtube, the comments are full of people calling Khia a whore for releasing a song about a woman's desire and demand for sexual 'fulfilment'. A few people will always point out that Khia's lyrics are hardly any more shocking or explicit than any number of songs released by ''male'' rappers.

* In the rap song "Slow Down" by Brand Nubian, the speaker is upset that his ex-girlfriend had been stealing from him to pay for her crack habit (and evidently continued to do so after the breakup, because she sold his sneakers to "Woolly Willie," presumably her dealer), and the fact that crackheads and dealers come to his apartment, and the fact that her addiction has radically changed her looks and personality. The thing he is ''most'' upset about and disgusted by, however, is the fact that she has been selling her body to pay for her habit. He gives her a WhatTheHellHero for it, and takes it upon himself to warn other men about her.

* Jim Jefferies says that this double standard isn't as unfair as it sounds, due to women on average being far more sexually selective than men, [[AllMenArePerverts who will basically screw anything with a hole and a heartbeat]]. Therefore a man sleeping with a lot of women is a much greater accomplishment than the other way around, because he actually had to put in some amount of effort. In his words:

* Bernard Marx and John the Savage in ''Literature/BraveNewWorld'' are both bothered by the promiscuity of Lenina (who Bernard was with for a time, and who John pines for). However, this being a society where everyone is conditioned to accept that MyGirlIsASlut, their attitudes are seen as abnormal. (To compound the ValuesDissonance Lenina is seen as rather ''conservative'' in her promiscuity, and is considered a little weird for sleeping with Henry too often.)

* ''Manga/{{Kannagi}}'' had a meta version of this, after finding out Nagi had a boyfriend before, [[InternetBackdraft Japanese otaku were NOT AMUSED.]] The fact that the reveal was rather trollish and a CreatorBreakdown (the author got sick, so the manga's on hiatus indefinitely) left an unresolved cliffhanger didn't help.

For the last few hundred or more years, sexually active men have often been admired for their virility and sexual "conquests" (unless he is a cad, or [[UnusualEuphemism picking only low hanging fruit]])[[note]]It's not like things were always been that way for everyone. Culture in [[UsefulNotes/DynastiesFromShangToQing Ming Dynasty China]], for instance, held that a man was manly either by being a chaste warrior or an incredibly promiscuous and scholarly/cultured [[{{bishounen}} pretty-boy]]. One's life expectancy was supposed to be ''radically'' shorter if one was in the latter category, in part because medical science speculated that male ejaculation entailed transferring some of one's finite store of (male) life force to the receiver (which is why male masturbation was avoided by anyone with good sense), but largely because of all the jealous lovers and husbands, not to mention [=STIs=].[[/note]] while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. Before birth control became readily available, this DoubleStandard probably had something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence (barring [=STDs=]), whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever.

* ''Series/{{Merlin}}'' plays out the Lancelot/Guinevere/Arthur LoveTriangle by having Morgana resurrect Lancelot from the spirit world as her mindless slave. He's sent to seduce Guinevere on the eve of her wedding to Arthur, and when she doesn't reciprocate, Morgana and Lancelot MindRape her with the use of an enchanted bracelet. Arthur catches her [[KissingUnderTheInfluence making out]] with Lancelot and all hell breaks loose. Eventually, Lancelot (on orders from Morgana) [[spoiler:commits suicide]] and is [[spoiler:given an honorable funeral]] while Guinevere is banished from Camelot on pain of death.

* Creator/RoseMcGowan invoked this trope when it came to her character Paige on ''Series/{{Charmed}}'' specifically in season 5. Paige was often seen with a different guy every episode, including one that only appeared in a brief raunchy scene on the couch with her. She claims to have gone to the writers and said "Paige isn't a ho". All of Paige's love interests from then on are fairly long term.

* The movie ''[[Literature/TheHistoryOfTomJonesAFoundling Tom Jones]]'' is a particularly good example of this trope taken to its extreme. [[CrossesTheLineTwice It's more funny than offensive, though.]]