History Main / MyGirlIsNotASlut

** In one version Clytemnestra's first husband was Tantalus, King of Pisa. He was killed by Agamemnon. Agamemnon then took her as his wife forcibly and also murdered her infant son. And then comes the part that every version agrees of: he sacrificed their daughter Iphigenia to the goddess Artemis after telling Clytemnestra he was going to marry her off to the hero Achilleus. Doesn't make what she did alright, but double standards are working here too. No old myth would have questioned a man's right to turn axe happy after being crossed repeatedly and so cruelly.

** In one version Clytemnestra's first husband was Tantalus, King of Pisa (in the western Peloponnese)(not to be confused with Agamemnon's ancestor Tantalus.) He was killed by Agamemnon. Agamemnon then took her as his wife forcibly and also murdered her infant son. And then comes the part that every version agrees of: he sacrificed their daughter Iphigenia to the goddess Artemis after telling Clytemnestra he was going to marry her off to the hero Achilleus. Doesn't make what she did alright, but double standards are working here too. No old myth would have questioned a man's right to turn axe happy after being crossed repeatedly and so cruelly.

* In an episode of ''TheClevelandShow'', the hypocrisy of this trope was the main plot point. While Cleveland didn't want to have his step-daughter to have sex at all, he encouraged his son to get rid of his virignitiy ''as soon as possible with anyone''. He even becomes extremely embaressed and angry when his son makes an oath of abstinence in public.

* This trope is at the centre of Samuel Richardson's 1740 novel ''Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded''. It's the story of a woman who's sexually harassed by her boss, and when she rejects him he falsely accuses her of having sex with a clergyman. No matter how he torments her and pursues her, she always rejects him to protect her "modesty." Finally, he's so impressed with her, that she gets a reward -- she gets to marry him!

This is OlderThanFeudalism, due to the historical sexual DoubleStandard. This is partly explained by mere biology. A man can impregnate multiple women a day while a woman can only get pregnant once every nine months, therefore base animal reproductive instinct dictates that men should be having sex with as many women as possible while women should be very selective in choosing their mates in order to ensure that only the best genes are passed on to the next generation [[note]]Of course, with the various birth control methods now available to us, the majority of sex had these days is for recreation, not reproduction. Still, that kind of thing is pretty hard to shake off.[[/note]]. Plus, a sexually active but irresponsible woman is far more at risk than a man in a similar position. If she gets pregnant and daddy's just a GlorifiedSpermDonor, she's the one stuck with a fatherless child, while a man who ''is'' willing to care for his wife and children would feel rightfully screwed if [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he finds out he isn't really the daddy]].

This is OlderThanFeudalism, due to the historical sexual DoubleStandard. This is partly explained by mere biology. A sexually active but irresponsible woman is far more at risk than a man in a similar position. If she gets pregnant and daddy's just a GlorifiedSpermDonor, she's the one stuck with a fatherless child. Plus, a man who ''is'' willing to care for his wife and children would feel rightfully screwed if [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he finds out he isn't really the daddy]].

In contemporary western society, the DoubleStandard isn't as strong as it used to be; thanks to birth control and to advances in technology that allow women to support themselves outside of the home, making the landing of a husband no where near as essential to a woman's survival as it used to be. It still remains very strong in most Eastern societies, although not as much in highly Westernized ones like Japan or The Philippines. A century ago there was a consensus, enforced ''by law'', that it's okay for men but not for women to fool around, with [[MadonnaWhoreComplex a strong social division between good women to marry and bad women to use as toys]]. [[LogicBomb No word on how it's possible for a man in this system to fool around without getting a woman in trouble]], [[NobodyOver50IsGay especially without gay rights advocates]]. Most people nowadays tend to disapprove of cheating itself, regardless of the gender of the one who cheats (and, contrary to popular opinion, cheating itself is in fact less tolerated, see philosopher Alain de Botton). Note that there is a difference between cheating and the concept of {{polyamory}}, in that the latter assumes sincere, honest commitment (the associated concept of "polifidelity"), whereas the former implies a betrayal of the partner's trust.

For the last few hundred or more years, sexually active men have often been admired for their virility and sexual 'conquests' (unless he is a cad, or picking only low hanging fruit)[[note]] It's not like things were always been that way for everyone. Culture in the Empire of the Ming, for instance, held that a man was manly either by being a chaste warrior or an incredibly promiscuous and scholarly/cultured pretty-boy. One's life expectancy was supposed to be ''radically'' shorter if one was in the latter category, in part because medical science speculated that male ejaculation entailed transferring some of one's finite store of (male) life force to the receiver (which is why male masturbation was avoided by anyone with good sense), but largely because of all the jealous lovers and husbands.[[/note]] while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. This probably has something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence, whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever. Then there is the 'Penetrator-Penetrated relationship' that is hetrosexual intercourse, which is the (non-sexist and perhaps understandable) reason the double standard (mentioned below) exists.

For the last few hundred or more years, sexually active men have often been admired for their virility and sexual 'conquests' (unless he is a cad, or picking only low hanging fruit)[[note]] It's not like things were always been that way for everyone. Culture in the Empire of the Ming, for instance, held that a man was manly either by being a chaste warrior or an incredibly promiscuous and scholarly/cultured pretty-boy.[[/note]] while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. This probably has something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence, whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever. Then there is the 'Penetrator-Penetrated relationship' that is hetrosexual intercourse, which is the (non-sexist and perhaps understandable) reason the double standard (mentioned below) exists.

For the last few hundred or more years, sexually active men have often been admired for their virility and sexual 'conquests' (unless he is a cad, or picking only low hanging fruit)[[note]] It's not like things were always been that way for everyone. Culture in the Empire of the Ming, for instance, held that a man was manly either by being a chaste warrior or an incredibly promiscuous and scholarly/cultured pretty-boy.]] while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. This probably has something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence, whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever. Then there is the 'Penetrator-Penetrated relationship' that is hetrosexual intercourse, which is the (non-sexist and perhaps understandable) reason the double standard (mentioned below) exists.

In most of history, a sexually active man has been admired for his virility and conquests (unless he is a cad, or picking only low hanging fruit), while a sexually active woman is more likely to be seen as being a trashy whore. For a man, the loss of his virginity is an achievement. For a woman, it is a surrender or, if outside of marriage, a filthy defilement. This probably has something to do with how a man can have hundreds of partners without any discernible consequence, whereas a woman in the same position would most likely be irreversibly changed into a mother forever. Then there is the 'Penetrator-Penetrated relationship' that is hetrosexual intercourse, which is the (non-sexist and perhaps understandable) reason the double standard (mentioned below) exists.

* This issue is danced around in ''HarryPotter and the Half-Blood Prince''. Though Ginny's older brothers take issue with her "going through boyfriends awfully quickly" and Ron gets upset with her kissing Dean in public, Ginny herself will have none of it and stands up for herself, quickly accusing Ron of [[YoureJustJealous just being jealous]] 'cause he's never kissed anyone himself.

-->-- ''Old proverb''

* Subverted in ''[[MASHTheSeries M*A*S*H]]''. While never explicitly shown, it's clear many of the nurses willingly sleep around. The nurses are never portrayed as sluts, and the only characters who sometimes object, Frank and Margaret, have more problems with the unequal ranks of the couples than that they see the females as sluts.

* In ''[[CiemWebcomicSeries Ciem]]'', Candi gets more than a little irritated with all the [[UrbanLegendLoveLife unfounded rumors]] that she ReallyGetsAround. Finally, when she gets Donte back, [[FreudianExcuse she says "screw it."]] And begins screwing him. ''[[GoodBadGirl A lot]]''.

* ''AufWiedersehenPet''. Oz tells Neville that he can't get involved with a woman because she is a prostitute despite him and several of the other characters happily attending brothels.

* When outed as a virgin [[HypocriticalHumor seconds after mocking Okabe for the same trait]], ''[[VisualNovel/SteinsGate Steins;Gate]]'''s Kurisu attempts to save face by invoking this trope, even citing the lock and key proverb to back it up. Okabe declares the argument dumb, adds "American Virgin" to his list of many nicknames for her, and continues to tease her for it from then on.

* The movie ''Film/TomJones'' is a particularly good example of this trope taken to its extreme. [[CrossesTheLineTwice It's more funny than offensive, though.]]

** YMMV Talia's sleeping around is a direct result of abuse as a child and later books have women just as active as the men. Only the Psy are virgins and that's for other explained reasons. And includes (so far) two MALE psy who were virgins before getting together with their one true love.

* ComicBook/{{She-Hulk}} in her current series sleeps with quite a few other supers (who else is going to survive, really? Woman of Gamma, man of Kleenex) and has some issues with this trope. She's very irritated whenever people ask about her night with Juggernaut, then a member of the ComicBook/{{X-Men}} but still a known a supervillain (this has since been retconned into her genuinely not sleeping with him). She also asks Tony Stark how he gets away with sleeping around (while in bed with him).

* ''[[{{Porkys}} Porky's 2: The Next Day]]'': In the previous film, Pee Wee was so desperate to have his {{Sex as Rite-of-Passage}} that he was happy to go with the easiest girl in the school and announce his new-found manhood with a Tarzan yell. Now he finds he likes her, and her reputation bothers him. "Before, I wanted it to be true, now I guess I don't," he says. Fear not, Pee Wee, Wendy's reputation was much exaggerated.

* ''PrettyPersuasion''. Kimberly has a boyfriend who persuaded her to have anal sex with him then dumped her because he felt she had degraded herself by allowing him to do that.

* Bollywood movie - Subverted in ''MyNameIsKhan''. The heroine is divorced, and has a son who plays a major part in driving the plot.

* ''KaguyaHime'': Mayu can't stand the thought of Akira being "dirtied" and having sex.
* ''{{Kannagi}}'' had a meta version of this, after finding out Nagi had a boyfriend before, [[InternetBackdraft Japanese otaku were NOT AMUSED.]] The fact that the reveal was rather trollish and a CreatorBreakdown (the author got sick, so the manga's on hiatus indefinitely) left an unresolved cliffhanger didn't help.
** A similar dust-up occurred with ''LovePlus'' when an official manga showed Nene kissing an unidentified boy [[TogetherUmbrella under an umbrella]].
** To a lesser extent the same thing happened when ''KatawaShoujo'' came out. It revolved around Emi, who was quite confidently sexual with Hisao in her route, experiments with anal a few days after starting a relationship with him, implies she's done some sexual stuff before ("Most of this is new to me."), and is revealed to have had a boyfriend before. Most of the fandom didn't care, but even then it wasn't uncommon to see comments about her supposed "easiness."
* Invoked in the {{josei}} manga ''ParadiseKiss''. It is revealed two boys and a girl ([[spoiler: Arashi, Tokumori and Miwako]]) were in a LoveTriangle in the past. Around the same time, we also find out the guy who got the girl, [[spoiler: Arashi]], forced her to lose her virginity with him. This is a source of many issues for the couple, because along with the (''understandable'') massive guilt he feels for the act itself, he thinks by raping her he stole her chances to change her mind and get together with [[spoiler: Tokumori]] instead (it's even hinted he did it as a desperate measure to force her to stay with him in the first place). Then again, this series loves [[{{Deconstruction}} deconstructing]] shojo cliches.
* Evoked in the (almost) hentai ''MyBalls'', where Elyse tries to convince Kohta that his love interest, Minayo, in fact, is a slut. Later that chapter, he is in a hotel room where Minayo is passed out (don't ask) and decides to test the theories on physical traits from the internet. He's then shocked to find out that the traits indicate that she really is. (It's later revealed she's a HardDrinkingPartyGirl who is only a slut when drunk.)

* {{She-Hulk}} in her current series sleeps with quite a few other supers (who else is going to survive, really? Woman of Gamma, man of Kleenex) and has some issues with this trope. She's very irritated whenever people ask about her night with Juggernaut, then a member of the ComicBook/{{X-Men}} but still a known a supervillain (this has since been retconned into her genuinely not sleeping with him). She also asks Tony Stark how he gets away with sleeping around (while in bed with him).

* Averted in ''SinCity''. When Marv learns that his one and only one night stand was a prostitute, it surprises him but he doesn't really care. Dwight, likewise, apparently doesn't care that his on-again-off-again flame is a prostitute as well.

* This trope is invoked completely straight by Simon Snowlock in the ''MemorySorrowAndThorn'' series, when he discovers that [[RebelliousPrincess Princess Miriamele]], for whom he has been pining, slept with a Nabbanai nobleman while she was held captive on his ship. Heedless of the fact that he'd been trying to [[AManIsNotAVirgin make time]] with various girls throughout the story, he gets so angry that he nearly gets both himself and Miriamele killed. For his part, this is justified as his culture (a [[FantasyCounterpartCulture Fantasy Counterpart]] of medieval Europe) has a very strong DoubleStandard. Miriamele doesn't help either; she's so determined to push Simon away that she fails to mention that Aspitis practically raped her. Fortunately, they get over it and [[LastMinuteHookup marry in the end]].

** And Henry Fielding hated ''Pamela'' so much that he wrote two parodies of it -- a subversion called ''Shamela'' and an inversion called ''JosephAndrews''. ''JosephAndrews'' is about a man who's sexually harassed by his woman boss. Characters make constant declarations on the value of male chastity throughout, and the novel draws most of its humour from this role-reversal.

** Yet, Eileen Rich, a respectable schoolteacher from ''[[HerculePoirot Cat Among the Pigeons]]'' (1959), has an illegitimate child and is among the most sympathetic characters in the novel. Honoria Bulstrode, her headmistress, does not hold this against her, provided it does not become public knowledge. The novel ends with the implication Bulstrode has chosen Rich as her eventual successor.
** Then again, in ''AndThenThereWereNone,'' Miss Brent is charged with the murder of a girl in her charge - the girl had gotten pregnant and committed suicide when her family and Miss Brent had both cast her out.
* Poor [[spoiler: Margaery Tyrrell]] of ''ASongOfIceAndFire''. Claiming that [[spoiler: she's a virgin despite her two failed marriages]] did NOT work well for her...
* Used in the NightHuntress books by Jeaniene Frost. Cat is a virgin when the saga begins. Bones is a "former-gigolo-turned-promiscuous-vampire". His former lover puts his score in the tens of thousands, in the two hundred and twenty years he's been alive. However, once they start dating, neither one cheats. Which is fortunate for their would-be lovers, since vampires are territorial and either one of them would cheerfully murder the other's paramour.
* Comes up in the KateDaniels books by Ilona Andrews. Kate doesn't date. When Raphael flirts with her, she mentions that it's been two years since she last got laid. Curran has had a "parade" of girlfriends.
* The PsyChangeling novels by Nalini Singh can't decide if they are this or not. On one hand, the narration tells us that sex is healthy for both sexes, and changeling women are very sexually liberated. On the other hand, every single hero has been wildly sexually experienced, while every heroine has been virginal or had a cold, unfulfilling love life. The one woman (Tally) who has had other lovers before the hero is [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop berated by him]] for [[DoubleStandard "selling herself so cheaply"]] -- despite his own sexual experience. The trope becomes so pervasive that it leads to a ''literal'' [[spoiler: virgin mother. Her marriage was a sham concocted to explain her test tube baby.]]
** YMMV Talia's sleeping around is a direct result of abuse as a child and later books have women just as active as the men. Only the Psy are virgins and thats for other explained reasons. And includes (so far) two MALE psy who were virgins before getting together with their one true love.
* The UndeadAndUnwed books by MaryJanice Davidson. Betsy's friend keeps a calendar of her sexual activity to try and encourage her to get more action; Sinclair has daily orgies with his three girlfriends on black silk sheets.
* Averted in the DanteValentine series by Lilith Saintcrow -- in ''Working For The Devil'' Danny casually mentions that she doesn't know the escort houses in an unfamiliar town well enough to use them.
* Dissected by the Creator/MarquisDeSade; his book ''{{Justine}}'' reveals a cavalcade of disasters that befall the "virtuous" Justine; her sister ''Juliette,'' meanwhile, is a bigger and more vicious libertine than her male counterparts, and has a grand old time... even going so far as to rescue Justine from the perils of her own attempted virtue.
* Subverted with glee in ''AtlasShrugged'': Hank Rearden is successfully blackmailed over his extramarital affair with Dagny Taggart by Dr. Ferris, who says that the shame of their affair being made public would be ''hers'', not his. However, when the same information is used to blackmail Dagny, she proudly confesses to having slept with Rearden.

* In GabrielGarciaMarquez's short novel ''Chronicle of a Death Foretold,'' a woman is chastised by her husband and beaten by her mother for not being a virgin on her wedding night, and her two brothers feel compelled to murder the man who allegedly took her virginity away. Said brothers, meanwhile, spend most of their time hanging out in a brothel with no repercussions (there's even a HookerWithAHeartOfGold who's a major character)!

* In the original novel ''{{Devdas}}'' the titular character is initially disgusted with Chandramukhi for her profession as a [[HighClassCallGirl courtesan.]] He eventually marries her, but only after she gives up her profession to be with him, and he's always dogged by his feelings for ProperLady Paro.

* ''DesperateHousewives''. As soon as Edie Britt is introduced, her promiscuity is presented as a negative thing to make the viewers dislike her

* ''MikeHammer'' can do whatever he likes; Velda will still be there for him.

* Played with in ''GoodnessGraciousMe'', the skit show from the people who later made ''TheKumarsAtNumber42''. A Pakastani woman is telling another that she heard the other's son was sleeping around. The other begins to defend him, but soon changes tactics - "My son is a stud!" - and goes on to describe his manly sexual exploits.

* Utterly demolished - ''almost!'' - by ''SexAndTheCity''. Even the "prudish" Charlotte beds more men than some women meet in their lives. Sexual hook-ups are seen as normal (if often problematic) behavior, not shameful crimes or dysfunction. This trope ''does'' crop up in the constant reflection/ {{wangst}}ing of the main characters, and may be reaffirmed at the story's end by placing all four women in monogamous relationships. Still, the women are not punished in the "traditional" sense for their sexual desires - said desires and freedoms being the whole point of the series to begin with!

** ''Series/DoctorWho'' has an interesting history of how sexuality has been addressed in the series, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_%28Doctor_Who%29#Romance as detailed in the Other Wiki.]]
* ''GoodTimes'' plays with this trope. When Florida finds a term paper called "Sexual Behaviors in the Ghetto", she assumes that it's dirty and thus belongs to JJ. JJ denies it. When Florida tells James, he gives JJ an attaboy and pats him on the back and is proud of him. However, when it's revealed that it belongs to Thelma, James goes beserk and basically puts her on lockdown without allowing her to explain that it belongs to her boyfriend who wrote the paper for his master's degree program. Florida sets James straight, but he is still angry until the boyfriend reveals that Thelma is still a virgin because she has a good support system at home and a strong father.
* ''NoAngels'' Callum tells Anji he doesn't want a girlfriend who is a "slag" despite him cheating on his girlfriend.
* ''MarriedWithChildren''. Bud frequently mocks Kelly for being easy despite the huge number of girls he's hit on

* Pacey in ''DawsonsCreek'' almost ruins his relationship with Audrey because he can't handle her past promiscuity [[spoiler: though it turns out she wasn't that promiscuous after all]].

* RoseMcGowan invoked this trope when it came to her character Paige on ''{{Charmed}}'' specifically in season 5. Paige was often seen with a different guy every episode, including one that only appeared in a brief raunchy scene on the couch with her. She claims to have gone to the writers and said "Paige isn't a ho" as apparently a young woman having a little fun is some kind of character flaw. All of Paige's love interests from then on are fairly long term.

* Phil Hunter in ''TheBill'' criticizes his daughters mother saying she'd have sex with anyone despite the fact he is constantly chasing women not caring if they are married or in a relationship (or if he is).
* ''OnTheBuses''. Jack commented that he won't take a girl out twice if she's a ''nice'', i.e. chaste, girl
* ''EverybodyHatesChris''. In the episode ''Everybody Hates A Liar'' Chris gets respect in the neighborhood when everybody thinks he hooked up with a new girl called Tasha while she worries that her reputation is ruined. He eventually tells everyone nothing happened and Tasha wouldn't do anything like that because she's a "nice girl."
* ''TheSecretLifeOfUs''. Kelly feels like a slut for having sex with a man she is dating too quickly naturally she doesn't worry that ''he's'' a slut for having sex with her to quickly.
* ''FamilyMatters'': "Rumor Has It ..." that Laura Winslow slept around with her boyfriend, Ted, and now Laura is eager to have sex with the rest of the school (except Urkel, of course). Of course, that rumor was completely incorrect, but Ted's buddies -- thanks to his inability to set them straight -- are led to believe he and Laura went all the way. Laura thinks Urkel is lying when he heard the three discuss what happened on the date, but then her friend Maxine reports hearing the same rumors. Laura tearfully cries on Harriet's shoulder, prompting her to want to call Ted's parents to force the truth. Instead, Laura recruits Urkel and big brother Eddie to get the truth out in the open, that coming in the school hallway between classes. As thus, Eddie's action becomes "My Sister is Not a Slut."
* ''StepByStep'': In the season six episode "It Didn't Happen One Night," the trope becomes My Sister Is Not a Slut when Karen grudgingly decides to defend her sister Al, after she had gotten a reputation at school as being "easy." Earlier in the show, Al and the school hunk, Kyle, had gone on a date, but when they began to share a kiss, Kyle used a trick seat to jump on top of Al; she fought him off, but the next day at school, Kyle brags that the two had sex, leading to Al gaining an unwanted reputation as a slut, and her emotional breakdown at school. Karen's way of getting to the truth -- when all of Kyle's friends and (ex) girlfriends are around -- is similar to the "Rumor Has It ..." episode of ''Family Matters'', and in the process averts Al's threatened nervous breakdown.

* ''SeventhHeaven'' has an episode where Robbie takes Mary out for a romantic Valentines Day. He offers to have sex with her and she punches him in the face.

* Averted in ''HowIMetYourMother''. Robin is occasionally teased, but never shamed; Marshall is proud of Lily's kinkiness, and everyone is absolutely disgusted (though sometimes a little awed) by Barney's behavior.

* This trope is at the centre of Samuel Richardson's 1740 novel ''PamelaOrVirtueRewarded''. It's the story of a woman who's sexually harassed by her boss, and when she rejects him he falsely accuses her of having sex with a clergyman. No matter how he torments her and pursues her, she always rejects him to protect her "modesty." Finally, he's so impressed with her, that she gets a reward -- she gets to marry him!
** And Henry Fielding hated ''[[PamelaOrVirtueRewarded Pamela]]'' so much that he wrote two parodies of it -- a subversion called ''Shamela'' and an inversion called ''JosephAndrews''. ''JosephAndrews'' is about a man who's sexually harassed by his woman boss. Characters make constant declarations on the value of male chastity throughout, and the novel draws most of its humour from this role-reversal.

* In the original ''Film/TotalRecall1990'', Quaid's "wife" is Richter's girlfriend.

This is OlderThanFeudalism, due to the historical sexual DoubleStandard. This is partly explained by mere biology. A sexually active, irresponsible woman is far more at risk than a man in a similar position. If she gets pregnant and daddy's just a GlorifiedSpermDonor, she's the one stuck with a fatherless child. Plus, a man who ''is'' willing to care for his wife and children would feel rightfully screwed if [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he finds out he isn't really the daddy]].