History Main / ExpospeakGag

* In ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', the self-writing spell-books are very, very verbose, so whenever we get a quote from one, it's going to turn out to be this. So far, [[GenderBender Elliot]] has been seen completely baffled by what his book could possibly mean when it says his transformations naturally possess "[[MostCommonSuperPower exorbitant breadth]]" in the chest area.

--> [Amber] celebrates some [[{{Jesus}} Middle Eastern god]] by feasting, singing, and worshipping around a sacred totem of renewal and fertility, placed conspicuously in her own home!

* In several WebVideo/SummoningSalt videos, the concept of a "frame rule" is explained using the analogy of a bus stop: just like arriving ten minutes before the bus arrives doesn't save you any time over getting there one second before it leaves, sometimes in games, getting somewhere 20 frames faster won't save you any time over getting there just 1 frame faster if an important event only happens every few frames. In "The History of ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros2'' World Records", he uses the same analogy, except changing the bus to a "4 Wheeled Vehicle of Transportation".

* The Literature/BastardOperatorFromHell sometimes uses this one or another way. For example, "[[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/05/26/bofh_2004_episode_16/ Total Component Fatigue]]".
* The headline for [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/97054-Kick-Ass-Movie-Trailer-Delivers-Force-to-Hindquarters-Via-Foot this article]] on ''The Escapist'': "''Film/KickAss'' Movie Trailer Delivers Force to Hindquarters Via Foot".
* In ''WebVideo/SuburbanKnights'':
-->'''Cloak #1:''' Unleash the fire of a thousand arrows!\\
'''Cloak #3:''' You mean the machine-gun?\\
'''Cloak#1:''' (''{{beat}}'') Yes.
* The classic website [[http://www.pmichaud.com/toast/ Strawberry Pop-Tart Blowtorches]] chronicles, in lovingly-rendered scientific format, an "experiment" by which a team of "researchers" tested the flammability of a Pop-Tart (by taping down the lever of a toaster and letting 'er rip).
-->''At this point, the researchers also realized that the heat could inadvertently melt the adhesive cellophane and cause the flaming [=SPTs=] to suddenly eject from the toaster. Unfortunately, this did not occur.''
* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-own-life-without-knowing-it This]] Website/{{Cracked}} article uses it to make a serious point.
--> You go to the doctor and he tells you that you have a bacterial infection that will never, ever go away. It will literally eat away a crucial part of your digestive system unless you do a chemical treatment twice a day, every day, and do painful semiannual follow-up treatments with your doctor ... ''for the rest of your fucking life''. Sure, it's not a death sentence, but the sheer weight of it kind of makes you want to give up -- you can just see this burden stretching out in front of you, forever.
--> But, of course, I've just described brushing your teeth.

* Many of the Website/SCPFoundation’s [[SatireParodyPastiche joke articles]] run on this trope, since the entire point of the wiki is to make up supernatural anomalies and attempt to describe them in a clinical sense. To avoid DontExplainTheJoke (the trope of which coincidentally [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-005-j-ex has its own article on the SCP wiki]]), the examples here will be blotted out save for their links:
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-089 SCP-089]] uses this in a serious manner. You have to read through paragraphs of dry scientific jargon before you get to the part about how containment requires [[spoiler: a mother to willingly burn her young child on an altar]].
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-328 SCP-328]] is a strange data storage device that contains a document which when decoded appears to be a description of [[spoiler:a human-manufactured laptop computer [[HumansThroughAlienEyes seen from the perspective of aliens with very alien biology, such that some of them were killed by just the light given of by the laptop's screen.]]]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2700-ex SCP-2700-EX,]] [[spoiler:breast cancer, albeit slightly exaggerated in order to be classified as anomalous.]] PlayedForDrama.
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-001-ex-j SCP-001-EX-J,]] which is [[DownplayedTrope breaking the rule a bit]] since it was supposedly written [[spoiler:by cavemen. It’s fire.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-042-j SCP-042-J,]] [[spoiler:the optical illusion when you close one eye and what you see moves slightly to the left or right.]] The phenomenon is blamed on [[spoiler:pillows.]] ItMakesSenseInContext.
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-078-j SCP-078-J.]] Namely, [[spoiler:[[GirlsHaveCooties cooties.]]]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-123-j SCP-123-J,]] [[spoiler:I Can’t Believe It's Not Butter!-brand butter substitute.]]

** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-727-j SCP-727-J,]] [[spoiler:the sun.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1960-j SCP-1960-J,]] [[spoiler:the moon.]] (No relation.)
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-800-j SCP-800-J,]] [[spoiler:any sport that is not American football.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-885-j SCP-885-J,]] titled [[spoiler:Researcher Jacobs' Inability To Clean Up After Himself.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1040-j SCP-1040-J,]] [[spoiler:terrible everyday driving habits that lead to accidents.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1344-j SCP-1344-J,]] [[spoiler:the Kool-Aid man.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1938-j SCP-1938-J,]] [[spoiler:a Foundation researcher that always clicks spam emails.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2008-j SCP-2008-J,]] [[spoiler:a sports mascot.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2412-j SCP-2412-J,]] [[spoiler:SantaClaus, his sack of presents, and all nine of his reindeer, including Literature/RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3467-j SCP-3467-J,]] [[spoiler:a six-foot-tall janitor that likes chicken served in a bucket.]] Thus, it is referred to as a Man-Eating-Chicken.
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4055-j SCP-4055-J,]] [[spoiler:opossoms.]]
** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-why-are-you-reading-a-url-go-be-productive-j SCP-5200-J,]] [[spoiler:mild rebellious behavior within kids.]]

** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-deals-j SCP-DEALS-J,]] [[spoiler:an ad campaign for a used car dealership.]]

* [[https://cyan-biologist.tumblr.com/post/170643573929/twentyonelizards-jumpingjacktrash This Tumblr post]] gives several euphemisms used by biologists in the field to chronicle various anecdotes in experiments and data collection. Examples include:

* In [[https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/standforchristmas this] ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}'' strip, Ethan decides to mess with the sort of customer who complains about being wished "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".

* [[https://cyan-biologist.tumblr.com/post/170643573929/twentyonelizards-jumpingjacktrash This Tumblr post]] gives several euphemisms used by biologists in the field:
** “Specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” [[spoiler:“I dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”]]
** “Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.” [[spoiler:“I stepped on it, I’m so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small”]]

The number one all-time most common Expospeak Gag is, "He suggested that you perform an [[ScrewYourself anatomically impossible act.]]"

* From ''WesternAnimation/TheRescuersDownUnder'':

* In ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7404056/11/Mutant-Storm Mutant Storm,]]'' this was invoked to appease [[Franchise/XMen Professor Xavier]] when Logan and [[Franchise/HarryPotter Harry]] wish to leave the Death Eaters a gift in place of the kidnapped Jean.

* If a computer technician tells you a laptop isn't working because of "deceleration sickness," he thinks you're an idiot for not realizing someone ''threw it at a wall.'' Or, perhaps more commonly, dropped it from a significant height.
** Or PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) and ID-Ten-T ([=ID10T=]), "Chair-to-Keyboard Interface Malfunction", "Carbon-Based Error", "ESO error" (Equipment Superior to Operator), "wetware problem", "UBNC error" (User's Brain Not Connected) and "Loose nut on keyboard".

** In ''Literature/ReaperMan'', the head of the Guild of Alchemists insists that they're not behind the mysterious poltergeist activity; anything that goes flying when they're around is due to "unforeseen exothermic reactions", or in LaymansTerms "things [[StuffBlowingUp keep blowing up]]".

** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-328 SCP-328,]] [[spoiler:a human-manufactured laptop computer [[HumansThroughAlienEyes described by aliens]]]]

** [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-666-and-a-half-j SCP-666½-J,]] [[spoiler:A particularly spicy crab-stuffed mushroom entrée.]]

* In ''Film/{{Aliens}}'' the gadget used to track the Alien detects "micro changes in air density". In other words, it's a microphone.

* Although not the smartest of characters, Bloo pulls it off in the ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'' episode "Adoptcalypse Now":
-->'''Bloo:''' Then it's time for drastic action, and I've got just the plan. Operation Abe Lincoln Drop Purple Scaredy Cat Run and Scramble. From the arboreal vantage point, we shall unleash the ultimate weapon, creating a devastating chain reaction the likes of which the galaxy has never known!\\

'''Bloo:''' I drop this fake spider on Eduardo, he freaks out, and everyone runs away.

* In ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', Dr. Emmett Brown sees a poster for the school dance and tells Marty there's a "rhythmic ceremonial ritual" coming up.

!!The following is a semi-comprehensive list of specific points in varied media, in which this trope is utilised, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the so named media. Also known as, Examples:

* Another Creator/TerryPratchett example: In ''[[Literature/JohnnyMaxwellTrilogy Only You Can Save Mankind]]'', when the [=ScreeWee=] captain is insisting that Johnny has to feed them, as his prisoners, she gives him a meal order[[note]]fifteen tonnes of pressed wheat extractions treated with sucrose; ten thousand litres of cold bovine lactation; twenty-five tonnes of the baked wheat extraction containing grilled bovine flesh and trace ingredients, along with chopped and fried tubers and fried and corn-extract-coated rings of vegetables of the allium family; one tonne of crushed mustard seeds mixed with water and permitted additives; three tonnes of exploded corn kernels coated with lactic derivation; ten thousand litres of coloured water containing sucrose and trace elements; fifteen tonnes of prepared and fermented wheat extract in vegetable juice; one thousand tonnes of soured lactic acid flavoured with fruit extract[[/note]]. that he completely fails to understand as being food, even as she insists it's what ''he'' eats.

'''Captain''': A hamburger and fries with onion rings.
: (The other items are popcorn with butter, fizzy drink, and possibly Marmite.)

* Another Creator/TerryPratchett example: In ''[[Literature/JohnnyMaxwellTrilogy Only You Can Save Mankind]]'', when the [=ScreeWee=] captain is insisting that Johnny has to feed them, as his prisoners, she gives him a meal order that he completely fails to understand as being food, even as she insists it's what ''he'' eats.

* The WebAnimation/YoutubePoop trend sometimes called the "Verbose Meme" is heavily based on this. Essentially, a popular video clip is "translated" into {{Expospeak}}, SesquipedalianLoquaciousness and dashed with AntiquatedLinguistics and passed off as the "posh," "upper-class" or "old-time" version. Needless to say, it often takes ludicrous levels. One notable example:

* In ''Manga/YuugaiShiteiDoukyuusei'', used for innuendo. Disappointed that Miyako didn't use the electric toothbrush she got her for ADateWithRosiePalms, Reika muses on how "Miyako is taking my present, turning on its vibration, inserting it into one of her mucous membranes, and shoving it around until she's good and satisfied."