History Main / EuphemismBuster

'''Discord:''' Oh, Twilight, if life was hard it would be full of innuendos. ''[beat]'' Like my ostrich pe--\\

** Following Roy's death, Haley tries to [[BreakingBadNewsGently break the news gently]] to his girlfriend Celia. Unfortunately, Celia takes Haley's [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms metaphors]] [[LiteralMinded literally]], so Belkar has to be blunt and to the point in order to explain to her.

Someone uses a euphemism, LastSecondWordSwap or something similar, and someone else blurts out exactly what the first person meant.

'''Megan:''' Inappropriate... like swearing?\\

'''Remo:''' I like that. That's nice. It's a lot nicer than "kill," or "destroy," or "terminate with extreme prejudice." That's what you're really talking about, isn't it?

* ''Film/{{Trainspotting}}'': Played for BlackComedy. Mark buys a hit of heroin from Mother Superior while the two banter like a patron in a fancy restaurant and the waiter. Mark overdoses, and Mother Superior asks if he should call a taxi. Cut to an ambulance driving past in the street... and Mother Superior stuffing an unconscious, dying Mark into a taxi.

* In ''Literature/TheBible'', Jesus busts his ''own'' euphemism. When their friend, Lazarus, becomes sick and dies, Jesus tells His disciples that Lazarus is sleeping, and He intends to wake him up. Not realizing what He meant by "sleep", they asks that if he's sleeping, that means he'll get better, causing Jesus to just flat-out say, "Lazarus is dead."

* In ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'', Vivian's sister comes to visit with her new [[BlackGalOnWhiteGuyDrama boyfriend]], and the rest of the Banks' remark on how "tall" he is, until Will...

* ''Radio/BleakExpectations'': When meeting with yet another Sternbeater, the man uses many flowery euphemisms to avoid saying he's a moneylender, but even [[IdiotHero Pip Bin]] can tell he's a moneylender (the fact he's wearing a coat ''made'' of money might be a dead giveaway, mind), chiming in after each euphemism that he clearly is, until the man grumpily admits that yes, he is.

'''Dr. Saunders''' Victor had [[RagingStiffie an erection]]?\\

* ''Film/QuantumOfSolace'' has M showing she knows a BongOneLiner when she hears one:

->''"General Heydrich, I have the real feeling I "evacuated" 30,000 Jews already by shooting them in Riga. Is what I did "evacuation"? When they fell, were they "evacuated"? There are another 20,000 awaiting similar "evacuation". I find it useful to know what words mean."''
-->-- '''SS-Sturmbannführer Rudolf Lange''', ''Film/Conspiracy2001''

It generally comes in two versions: Ditz and Intentional. The Ditz version is just the person figuring it out for themself without realizing that the speaker was trying to be discreet. The intentional version occurs when a character simply doesn't care about the delicacy of the matter and prefers getting the point across with BrutalHonesty, or just deliberately disregards it to be [[TheGadfly obnoxious]] about it; if the person the speaker is talking to simply doesn't understand what they're trying to say, it may lead to the former having to bust their ''own'' euphemism just so the latter can get the message.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994'': Scar has to backtrack and Euphemism Bust ''himself'' thanks to [[SurroundedByIdiots his dumb hyena lackeys]]:
-->'''Banzai:''' Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared! Uh...for what?\\

* A darker example in ''Film/Conspiracy2001'', a drama about [[UsefulNotes/TheHolocaust the Wannsee Conference]], which provides the page quote, during which the Security Police managed to get authorization for an anti-Jewish genocide (later termed "Operation Reinhard") which outshone the ones accomplished to that date by the Wehrmacht, ''Einsatzgruppen'', and Regional Security Chiefs. The term 'evacuation' is frequently used to describe the Security Police's program. After about an hour of this, Lange, who works with the security forces in ''Reichskomissariat Ostland'' (and has been engaged in the usual 'preventative security' operations to eliminate demographics targeted for ethnic cleansing by the Nazi regime), tires of his indirectness.
* ''Film/ButImACheerleader''
-->'''Hilary:''' There's no inappropriate behaviour allowed.\\
'''Megan:''' Inappropriate... like swearing?\\
'''Graham:''' No, inappropriate like fucking. You get caught in the throes of sodomy and it's ''au revoir''.
* ''Film/RemoWilliamsTheAdventureBegins''.

* This forms a RunningGag in ''Film/HotFuzz'', where the gruff PC Walker will often finish off PC Thatcher's {{Double Entendre}}s by pointing out exactly what she was hinting at.
-->'''PC Doris Thatcher:''' Oh, I dunno. I quite like a little midnight gobble. Haha!\\
'''PC Bob Walker:''' ...cocks.
** Made even funnier by the fact that Walker's accent is [[TheUnintelligible slightly impenetrable.]]

* ''Film/{{Trainspotting}}'': Played for BlackComedy. Mark buys a hit of heroin from Mother Superior while the two banter like a patron in a fancy restaurant and the waiter. Mark overdoses, and Mother Superior asks if he should call a taxi. Cut to an ambulance driving past in the street... and Mother Superior stuffing an unconscious, dying Mark into a taxi.

-->'''Pilot:''' ...and remember, ladies, no matter how sticky the situation, you can always get out of it. For instance: back in the war I was in a terrible dogfight - there was one [[ClusterFBomb fucker]] behind me, one on top of me and one to my left--\\

-->'''Father:''' Ah...That's something we don't really know as yet, Dilly. Swampy could be OK, of course, but I think you ought not to, er... get your hopes up too high...\\

'''Dorla:''' ''(Dilly's big sister)'' What they ''mean'', Dilly, is that they think Swampy's been run over. You know, hit by a dino-car, flattened, D-E-A-D, dead. Got it?
* In ''The Remnant'' from the Literature/LeftBehind series, when Steve Plank as Pinkerton Stephens turns down taking the MarkOfTheBeast and accepts the alternative of death, the Global Community staff person working at the mark application site was just about to refer to the guillotine as the "loyalty enforcement facilitator" when Steve interrupts and refers to it as "the guillotine".

* In ''Literature/TheBible'', Jesus busts his ''own'' euphemism. When their friend, Lazarus, becomes sick and dies, Jesus tells His disciples that Lazarus is sleeping, and He intends to wake him up. Not realizing what He meant by "sleep", they asks that if he's sleeping, that means he'll get better, causing Jesus to just flat out say, "Lazarus is dead."

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}''
-->'''Elliot''': Those gyno girls are really putting the pressure on. We must have looked at a hundred women's bajingos today! Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo. I mean, I can't even look at my own bajingo.
-->'''Carla:''' Is that because it looks so much like a vagina?\\
'''Elliot:''' Carla, there's people!
* ''Series/{{Mythbusters}}''
-->'''Narrator:''' And in the pouch will be... let's call it "genetic legacy".\\
'''Jamie:''' Genetic legacy? ''It's sperm.'' Every kid in grade school knows that. Helps make babies, you know?
* ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}''
-->'''Topher:''' He seemed to be having a kind of... man-reaction.\\
'''Dr. Saunders:''' A ''what''?\\
'''Topher:''' A, you know, reaction that a man -- person might have in the... you know, the... naked part. Shower. Victor.\\
'''Dr. Saunders''' Victor had [[RagingStiffie an erection]]?\\
'''Topher:''' I prefer man-reaction.
* In ''Series/{{Lost}}'' this overlaps with CensorshipBySpelling. Hurley doesn't want to talk about the dead in front of a kid (Walt), so he spells it out:
-->'''Hurley:''' But what about the B-O-D-Y-S?\\
'''Michael:''' What are you trying to spell, man, "bodies"?\\
'''Walt:''' B-O-D-I-E-S.
* On ''Series/ChappellesShow'', a parody of a PBS ''Frontline'' documentary has the narrator (a white man) [[ContentWarnings warn viewers]]:
-->'''Caption:''' Warning!\\
'''Narrator:''' For viewers sensitive to issues of race, be advised that the following piece contains gratuitous use of the "N" word.\\
''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''Narrator:''' And by the "N" word, I mean "Nigger".\\
''[beat]''\\
'''Narrator:''' There, I said it.

* In ''Series/{{Friends}}'', Chandler is hesitant to have sex with his new girlfriend, Kathy:
-->'''Chandler:''' Her last boyfriend was Joey...\\
'''Ross:''' And you're afraid you won't be able to... ''fill his shoes?''\\
'''Chandler:''' No, I'm afraid I won't be able to make love as well as him.\\
'''Ross:''' I was going for the metaphor.\\
'''Chandler:''' And I was saying the ''actual'' words.
** It was a running gag that when Joey said something raunchy, he'd follow up with an explanation in case the others didn't catch his meaning, which they always did. Once he said, "If you know what I mean," to which Monica replied, "Joey? We ''always'' know what you mean."
** In an earlier episode the Friends were comparing sex to a concert, comparing foreplay to a comedian, and penetration as the band. The women say that they should bring back the comedian for a second go a bit more often otherwise they might just end up listening to the album of the band instead. Joey responds with: "...We're still talking about sex, right?"
* ''Series/PersonOfInterest''. When the Chief of Staff starts giving her flak, Control spells out exactly what her organisation has been doing behind the scenes to keep the United States safe. So far they've handled 853 threats to national security. "And by 'handled', you do know I mean killed, right?"

-->'''Judge''': Let's call them what they are, your scrambled eggs.
* Used in ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook'' to make fun of any DeadlyEuphemism a [[Franchise/JamesBond Bond]] villain might come up with, as one of the henchmen ''hates'' ambiguity.
-->'''Alan''': This is gonna be "Let's hope Professor Ritson meets with a little accident" all over again! We spent nine months ''hoping'' that Professor Ritson would meet with an accident before Leslie made it clear it was an accident ''[[MakeItLookLikeAnAccident we were supposed to make happen]]!''
** Even more so when he asks his minion:
--->'''Leslie:''' Perhaps you'd like to join me later for a little... ''light refreshment''?\\
'''Alan:''' Do you mean anal sex?\\
'''Leslie:''' ... Yes.\\
'''Alan:''' ... All right then.
* In the ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekS2E8IMudd I, Mudd]]", Harry Mudd describes how he wound up on the android planet after getting arrested for one of his scams:
-->'''Mudd:''' Well, of course I... left.\\
'''Kirk:''' He broke jail.\\
'''Mudd:''' I, ah, borrowed transportation...\\
'''Kirk:''' He stole a spaceship.\\
'''Mudd:''' ...the patrol reacted in a hostile manner...\\
'''Kirk:''' They fired at him.
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''. In "A Man Alone", Keiko O'Brien is trying to convince Rom to let his son go to the school she's opening.
-->'''Rom:''' Little lady, little lady; what do you know of Ferengi education?\\
'''Keiko:''' I understand you employ a work-study approach, Mister Rom, with apprenticeships in a wide range of business and economic fields.\\
'''Rom:''' ''(laughs)'' [[SinkOrSwimMentor We throw them into the cut-throat competition of Ferengi commerce]] and [[TheSpartanWay anyone who survives, graduates.]]
* ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Meld"
-->'''Suder:''' Have you come to kill me?\\
'''Tuvok:''' To execute you for your crime.\\
'''Suder:''' To execute me. I see. And calling it that makes it more comfortable for you.

'''Niles:''' Have you two, er... ''(cocks eyebrow)''\\

'''Niles:''' But you're, er... ''(raises eyebrows)''\\

--> '''Bill:''' You know what that means, don't you?\\

-->'''Dan Fielding:''' "You guys didn't sleep together, did you?"\\
'''Bull Shannon:''' "Of course not!"\\
'''Dan:''' ''(sighs in relief)''\\
'''Bull:''' "We just had sex!"
* ''Series/FistOfFun's'' "Four Horsemen waiting for the apocalypse" sketch has Pestilence working as a milkman. One of his customers tells the camera "Although he's a bit odd looking, I know lots of housewives around here would love to get their hands on his extra pinta, if you know what I mean. [{{Beat}}] I mean his cock."
* Inverted in the ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode ''The Yada Yada''. Elaine is describing an old date while explaining the usage of the Yada Yada.

* In ''Series/{{Blackadder}} II'' episode "Money", when Blackadder is trying to sell his home.
-->'''Mrs:''' What about the privies?\\
'''Edmund:''' Well, what we're talking about in, erm, privy terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices, combined with a wide-capacity gutter installation below.\\
'''Mrs:''' You mean you crap out of the window.
** Amusingly, this actually convinces the couple to buy the house -- the wife can't stand "those dirty indoor things".
* In ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'', Vivian's sister comes to visit with her new [[BlackGalOnWhiteGuyDrama boyfriend]], and the rest of the Banks' remark on how "tall" he is, until Will...
-->'''Will:''' Is it just me or did y'all notice he was white?
* One sketch in ''Series/{{Burnistoun}}'' features a political debate that's nothing but the two candidates using elaborate euphemisms to hint that their opponent's wife is sexually promiscuous, then clarifying explicitly what they mean about the wife's sexual proclivities.
* ''Series/LegendsOfTomorrow''. Sara Lance and John Constantine end up having sex during a mission. Afterwards Sara thanks him for helping out with the demon they were up against, so Constantine makes a rather fumbling offer of help whenever Sara needs it. Sara then says casually, "And thanks for the shag, too. That was great."
* ''Series/DoctorWho:'' In "Journey's End", the Doctor notes that he and Rose have been locked up in a vault with Davros, and that if Davros is in a vault, he's not in charge of the Daleks this time around. Davros tries dancing around it, and the Doctor takes some serious glee in shooting his attempts down. Tellingly, Davros just changes tack [[LameComeback rather than respond]].
-->'''Davros:''' We have... an understanding.
-->'''Doctor:''' Nah, I've got the right word for it: You're the Daleks' ''pet!''
* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'': When Sam manages to buy back the bar in season 8, Carla cheerfully exclaims that it's like the good times, "before darkness fell over the Earth." Norm helpfully explains to Frasier that she means "before Diane showed up." Frasier darkly responds that he knows full well what Carla was talking about.

'''[=D'Tan=]:''' Don't patronize me. You mean the [[TheRemnant Tal Shiar]].
* ''VideoGame/Portal2'': Wheatley in chapter 8 does a self-busting version
-->"You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead."

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* ''Webcomic/MenageA3'': Thanks to Gary's intermittent [[NoIndoorVoice lack of an indoor voice]], when [[http://www.ma3comic.com/strips-ma3/adult_friends he busts Tracy's euphemism]] for the second job she does to pay the bills, he triggers an understandable FacePalm,

* ''Webcomic/StuffSucks'' had this. "I think she wants to be his buddy. (short pause) His ''sex'' buddy. (short pause) If you know what I mean."
* ''Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness'' has this gem:
--> Boy, I'd love to take her out to dinner. And by "take her out to dinner" I mean dunk the donut. And by "dunk the donut" I mean have sex with her. And by "have sex with her" I mean use my penis on her. And by "penis" I mean staple remover. And by "staple" I mean virginity.

''({{beat}})''\\

* Lampshaded in the Creator/EgoRaptor production ''WebAnimation/GirlChanInParadise'' when Yusuke gets mad and starts pronouncing the word fuck with an elongated f noise, only to have Kenstar interrupt and ask if he's about to say the f word. Yusuke's response is "You mean.... fuck!" Kenstar then gives a subdued response "Yes, that would be it."
* ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog''
--> "The Hammer is my penis."
* ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony:''
** In "The Penny and Clyde Show".
--->'''Twilight:''' Dammit! Why does everything have to be so hard?\\
'''Discord:''' Oh, Twilight, if life was hard it would be full of innuendos. ''[beat]'' Like my ostrich pe--\\
'''Twilight:''' [[TooMuchInformation So much more information than what I wanted!]]
** In "Pirate Shipping":
--->'''Sweetie Belle:''' ''[to Cheerilee]'' So, you got anyone you're going to spend some quality time with tonight, huh, wink wink nudge nudge, you know what I'm saying, right, I'm implying you're gonna have ''sex''.
* From WebVideo/BroTeamPill's playthrough of ''VideoGame/GunsOfIcarus'':
--> "We're gonna need a specialist: Me. Specialized in one-handed cranking, and also beatin' off my stupid dick."

* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost":
-->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Squidward! He's... he's... [[NeverSayDie pushing up daisies!]]\\
'''Patrick:''' Oh, I thought he was dead.
* ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'':
** When Kim has to take her brothers with her on a mission in "The Twin Factor" she asks if anyone has to do any "business" before they leave the house. Ron doesn't understand it at first until Rufus whispers the true meaning in his ear. After hearing it, he immediately runs back into the house to use the bathroom.
** In "Ron the Man", Shego suggests hiring [[ArmsDealer Jack Hench]], an idea Drakken rejects as too expensive. Shego then proposes a way around that problem:
--->'''Shego:''' I'll infiltrate his research facility and, you know, maybe I can find some "free samples".\\
'''Drakken:''' Please! Hench never gives "free" anything. He... Oh, you mean ''stealing'', don't you?\\
'''Shego:''' Doy!
* ''WesternAnimation/CloneHigh'''s JFK provides us with many such examples.

** But then, JFK always feels the need to explain the joke flat out, even when completely obvious. His ego simply requires him to brag about his sexual exploits.

--->'''Quagmire''' [matter of fact, after a string of InnocentInnuendo comments from Lois]: That one is also sexual.

* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' once had a new employee at Strickland Propane who would say "ThatsWhatSheSaid" in response to anything that could even remotely be considered a DoubleEntendre. At first everybody but Hank found him hilarious, but eventually they all got sick of him and worked together with Hank to get rid of him.
-->'''Hank:''' Don't you wish we could still say words like "meat", and "tool", and "unit", without someone turning it into something foul? Those are ''our words''. I say let's take 'em back!
** From another episode:
--->'''Coach''': Like I tell my gym class, girls can't play sports.\\
'''Thatherton:''' At least I've found one who can "get it over the plate", if you know what I mean.\\
''[blank stare from the Coach]''\\
'''Thatherton:''' ''[[DontExplainTheJoke I'm having sex with her]]''.\\
''[They both laugh]''\\
'''Coach:''' ...But she's no good at sports, right?
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': The episode "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS4E8NewKidOnTheBlock New Kid on the Block]]" has a double subversion:
-->'''Ruth Powers''': Well, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. I want to be fixed up with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it. After all, Homer, I do have the normal... appetites.\\
'''Homer:''' Heh, heh, heh... I know what you mean. (pause) Just let me make sure we're not talking about food.\\
'''Ruth Powers''': I'm not.\\
'''Homer:''' Right! Me, neither. (pause) We're talking about sex, right?\\
'''Ruth Powers''': Right.\\
'''Homer:''' I hear you loud and clear.

* In ''{{WesternAnimation/Daria}}'', when Helen gets a week off of work because her boss had to take a break, Daria and Quinn immediately know that their mother's boss is in drug rehab again.
-->'''Helen:''' Erik is... uhm... "exhausted" and is taking 28 days to, uh, "recuperate". All that espresso he was drinking really wore him down.\\
'''Jake:''' "Espresso"? \\
'''Daria:''' [[SarcasmMode To say nothing of those "prescription amphetamine doughnuts".]]\\
'''Helen:''' Daria!\\
'''Quinn:''' [[BrutalHonesty So he's on detox again?]]\\
'''Helen:''' Quinn!!\\
'''Jake:''' Oh, right! '''[[DelayedReaction "Espresso"]]'''.

* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Chowder}}'' combines this with LiteralMetaphor. After the titular character screws up another dish, Truffles comes in, demanding to know why the order wasn't finished. Mung immediately says it was "[[BigEater Tubby's]]" fault. The [[AnimateInanimateObject living bathtub]] in the room immediately says "No, it wasn't". Mung tries to clarify that he was talking about the ''other'' Tubby, to which the ''other'' living bathtub said "No, it wasn't", leading Mung to just flatout say "Chowder".

** In an earlier episode the Friends were comparing sex to a concert, comparing foreplay to a comedian, and penetration as the band. The women say that they should bring back the comedian for a second go a bit more often otherwise they [[ADateWithRosiePalms might just end up listening to the album of the band instead]]. Joey responds with: "...We're still talking about sex, right?"

* ''WesternAnimation/TheNewScoobyDooMovies'': In "[[Recap/TheNewScoobyDooMoviesTheGhostOfBigfoot The Ghost of Bigfoot]]", the gang pick up the hitchhiking Laurel and Hardy after finding out they're heading the same place. Hardy tells them that their trip to the hotel is strictly business and that they hope to procure employment as baggage expediters. Laurel promptly clarifies that they're looking for work as bellhops.