History Main / BackhandedApology

* In episode 11 of the English dub of [[Anime/BakutenShootBeyblade Beyblade G-Revolution]], after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary [[OrderedApology orders]] the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?

* On ''Series/BabylonFive'', [[TheCaptain Sheridan]] was [[OrderedApology ordered to apologize]] to the Centauri for something that was the Centauri's fault. Sheridan is shown practicing an epic backhand apology [[MirrorMonologue to a mirror]] in his quarters. It's just too bad he never got the chance to actually deliver it.

-->"I'd like to begin today by apologizing on behalf of you to me for how you have treated me these last two weeks, and that apology is not accepted."

* ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': In "The Trouble With Tribbles", Scotty makes it clear to Korax that he's treading on dangerous ground when he compares the ''Enterprise'' to a garbage scow. Instead of backing down, the Klingon doubles down:

'''Korax:''' ''[[BriefAccentImitation (imitating Scotty's accent)]]'' You're right. I should. ''(Normal voice)'' I didn't mean to say that the ''Enterprise'' should be ''hauling'' garbage. I meant to say that it should be ''hauled away'' '''''AS garbage!'''''\\
''(Scotty decks him, starting a BarBrawl.)''

* In ''Series/TheUmbrellaAcademy'', a retired Marine at the veterans' bar gets offended when twenty-something Klaus claims to be a Vietnam vet (which Klaus actually ''is'', but there's TimeTravel involved so he doesn't look it) and [[OrderedApology demands an apology]] for this perceived lie. Klaus calmly agrees:
--> '''Klaus''': I'd like to apologize...that you are depriving some village...'''[[SuddenlyShouting OF THEIR IDIOT!]]'''

Note that it's not enough for Alice to say "I'm not sorry" (if anything, that would be the ''high'' road compared to the pettiness this trope embodies). Her apology has to actively shift the blame to Bob. This may cause Alice to say ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules, to place HonorBeforeReason, or lead her to become TheLastDJ. Alternatively, this is just one more spat between Alice and Bob and there are no real consequences, other than Bob now being irritated with Alice.

Note that it's not enough for Alice to say "I'm not sorry" (if anything, that would be the ''high'' road instead of the pettiness this trope embodies). Her apology has to actively shift the blame to Bob. This may cause Alice to say ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules, to place HonorBeforeReason, or lead her to become TheLastDJ. Alternatively, this is just one more spat between Alice and Bob and there are no real consequences, other than Bob now being irritated with Alice.

Note that it's not enough for Alice to say "I'm not sorry." Her apology has to actively shift the blame to Bob. This may cause Alice to say ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules, to place HonorBeforeReason, or lead her to become TheLastDJ. Alternatively, this is just one more spat between Alice and Bob and there are no real consequences, other than Bob now being irritated with Alice.

A subtler variation of this trope is for Alice to apologise by saying something like "I'm sorry if you were offended, Bob." This is a relative of FalseReassurance and an even closer relative of the StealthInsult, since Bob has to pay attention to the wording to notice that she's putting the blame on him for being offended rather than on herself for causing offense.

-->'''Mirabel:''' ''[to Isabela]''I. Am. S-Sorry...\\

* In episode 5 of ''Anime/BeastTamer'', the hero party needs Rein to do a quest for them, but they cruelly fired him, confiscated his equipment, and let him with few, if any, viable options, so when they seek him out, they try to recruit him with an insincere "apology" that goes along the lines of "sorry we had to fire you for being weak and useless." Rein and his party rightly take it as an insult and walk away, or try, before the so-called heroes state that humanity will suffer greatly if Rein doesn't go to Lost Forest and get the Shield of Truth. When Rein agrees under those conditions, they insult him in just about every way imaginable for wasting their time. Cue an epic fight when Rein's party takes offense to ''that.''

* In Series/TheGoodPlace, Brent does this to Tahani after he write a book, where the main characters love interest is a racist, sexist caricature of her. After a few "attempts", he gives up and rants about how there was nothing wrong with his portrayal of Tahani, and accuses the rest of the gang of bullying him and infringing on his rights.

* In ''Series/{{Frasier}}'', Niles bears some animosity towards Frasier's ex-wife Lilith after she sniggered during Maris' wedding vows. When Frasier tries to get the two to reconcile, Lilith responds along the lines of "If Niles is so insecure that he needs an apology for something so minor, then fine, I apologise." Niles joyfully accepts.

* The {{Valentines Day Episode|s}} of the ''Anime/OsomatsuSan'' manga has Osomatsu call a couple of girls ugly, with Choromatsu apologizing on his behalf while mentioning it probably offends them more getting that insult on that day than it should any other day.

* ''ComicStrip/NonSequitur'': Danae ''loves'' this [[http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2010/03/19 concept.]]

* In ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'', when Calvin is (unusually) trying to apologize to Susie, she just tells him to get lost, and he screams at her as she walks away: "I'm trying to apologize, you dumb noodleloaf!" He then {{Face Palm}}s realizes what he's just said.
* In a ''ComicStrip/ForBetterOrForWorse'' comic, Michael is showing off all of his new back-to-school supplies and then teases Elizabeth because she didn't get anything, causing her to cry. John then tells Michael to apologize, and say it like he means it, so Michael says "sorry" in a goofy voice, which causes him to get sent to his room.

* In the ''Manga/LoveHina'' fic ''FanFic/ForHisOwnSake'', after Keitaro explains why he's leaving the Hinata Inn and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls out each of the girls]] on how their past behavior hurt him, Shinobu and Mutsumi are the only ones that linger long enough to apologize. Shinobu apologizes honestly, while Mutsumi instead talks more about how she's sorry how he's hurt Naru and everyone with his rejection. This {{foreshadow|ing}}s their resultant character arcs: Shinobu comes to recognize and accept how she helped drive him away by never speaking out against the abuse, while Mutsumi convinces herself that Keitaro needs her help to get back together with Naru.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9825937/6/Bound-in-Servitude Bound in Servitude,]]'' Mrs. Weasley insists that Ron apologize for implying most of the Order of the Phoenix are Dumbledore-worshipping sheep.
-->'''Ron:''' I apologize for pointing out your shortcomings. I failed to notice that you hadn't realized your inadequacy.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11044882/14/The-Snitch-Effect The Snitch Effect]]'':
-->'''Dumbledore:''' Lee, while I agree with you that Mister Diggory is being an ass, as you put it, that's no reason to become so vulgar. Kindly apologize, if you would.\\
'''Lee:''' Fine. I'm sorry that you're such a prat, Diggory!

-->'''Vegeta:''' I'm sorry. Yep. ''Totally'' sorry. I just feel terrible. Yes, I'm very, very, "very" sorry... ''[capsule door shuts]'' THAT YOU'RE ALL STILL ALIVE! SUCKERS!
* ''FanFic/ErasedPotential'': After Nedzu repeatedly manipulates Toshinori, tricking him into revealing Izuku's status as a Recommended Student to the whole class, Izuku wants an apology. Nedzu initially pretends he didn't hear what he asked, followed by a pithy "Then I am sorry that I caused you trouble, Midoriya-kun." Aizawa immediately calls him out on this non-apology, and Nedzu affirms that he still thinks his actions were completely justified.
* In ''Fanfic/{{Couturiere}}'', [[WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug Marinette]] gets akumatized in the titular villain after Lila Rossi's lies push her too far. When she finally corners Lila and demands she own up to her lies, she instead gets a non-apology that all but push the blame of her actions on her classmates for believing her lies, and on Marinette for being hurt by them. Needless to say, Couturiere isn't amused, and proceeds to give her a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2083412/1/Buddy-Holly Buddy Holly,]]'' Harry and Draco have a fistfight and part of their punishment is to write apology letters to each other.
-->''Dear Malfoy, I'm sorry you aren't more hurt. Sincerely, Harry Potter.''
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13861364/1/Imitation-Steamrollers Imitation Steamrollers,]]'' [[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends Emily]] demands that George apologise to her for covering her in oil. He does apologise...to his roller, for making it dirty.

'''Kairi''': (''shocked'') Oh! Oh I am deeply sorry, ma'am. I apologize for my actions. I had no idea that you were so jealous because your husband is married to his job while I can do this whenever I want. (''turns and kisses Sora'')

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'':
-->'''Shrek:''' ''[to Donkey]'' Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?\\
'''Donkey:''' Because that's what friends do -- ''they forgive each other!''\\
'''Shrek''': Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you -- for stabbing me in the back!

-->'''Omar:''' [[DeadpanSnarker It was the freak reference, wasn't it?]]
-->'''Toad:''' You gonna apologize, rude boy?
-->'''Omar:''' I'm sorry...''dicknose!'' [[note]][[Main/{{Bowdlerise}} "dogbreath" in the censored American version]][[/note]]
-->'''Toad:''' ''Why, you--!''

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* In the ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'' episode "Brand New Couch", Bojack's mother Beatrice calls him to apologize for [[AbusiveParents how she treated him during his childhood]] after reading his memoirs. However, even as she apologizes, she still can't stop insulting him, calling him a narcissist for writing a memoir, and telling him he was born broken and that he'll never get better.

* In ''Series/PeakyBlinders'', every apology made by Creator/TomHardy's character Alfie Solomons is either utterly flippant, sarcastic, or a transparent means of manipulating someone. The closest he gets to apparent sincerity is his apology to Arthur in season 3 for previously trying to frame the guy for murder, and even that is a blatant act of self-preservation, which he goes on to undermine anyway by [[{{Troll}} trolling]] Arthur for several minutes afterward and prodding his various [[BerserkButton Berserk Buttons]]. As a rule, a "good" apology probably doesn't end with the other person so irate they're inches away from smashing you over the head with an ashtray...

* Netflix's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-zTrfiQMSY ''The Second Stand-Up Comedy Special Written Entirely By Bots'']]:

* In ''Series/TheBoys2019'', SuperSupremacist Blue Hawk gets in hot water for using [[DisproportionateRetribution disproportionate amounts of violence]] in black neighborhoods. When he's forced to make an OrderedApology, he essentially says "I'm sorry you feel that way" with it quickly devolving into a shouting match with the crowd and violence.

* In ''Series/TheBoys2019'', SuperSupremacist Blue Hawk gets in hot water for using [[DisproportionateRetribution disproportionate amounts of violence]] in black neighborhoods. When he's forced to make a public apology, he essentially says "I'm sorry you feel that way" with it quickly devolving into a shouting match with the crowd and violence.

* ''ComicStrip/NonSequitur'': Danae ''loves'' this [[http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2010/03/19 concept]].

* In ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'', when Calvin is (unusually) trying to apologize to Susie she just tells him to get lost, and he screams at her as she walks away: "I'm trying to apologize, you dumb noodleloaf!" He then {{Face Palm}}s realizing what he's just said.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9825937/6/Bound-in-Servitude Bound in Servitude]]'', Mrs. Weasley insists that Ron apologize for implying most of the Order of the Phoenix are Dumbledore-worshipping sheep.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2083412/1/Buddy-Holly Buddy Holly]]'', Harry and Draco have a fistfight and part of their punishment is to write apology letters to each other.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13861364/1/Imitation-Steamrollers Imitation Steamrollers]]'',[[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends Emily]] demands that George apologise to her for covering her in oil. He does apologise...to his roller, for making it dirty.

* ''Webcomic/BasicInstructions'' provides instructions on [[http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2007/2/25/how-to-apologize-without-accepting-any-blame.html How to Apologize Without Accepting Any Blame]].

* There is a rule in the British Parliament that forbids personal insults. UsefulNotes/BenjaminDisraeli supposedly said "Half the Cabinet[[note]]Committee of high-ranking government ministers[[/note]] are asses.", He was ordered to apologize and he said "Mr. Speaker, I withdraw. Half the Cabinet are '''not''' asses." in a tone of voice that implied that the other half ''are'' asses.

** In the same month, Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin, upset after the State legislature (also Republican) overrode his veto of increasing Education spending to resolve a teacher's strike, alleged that "somewhere in Kentucky today, a child was sexually assaulted that was left at home because there was nobody there to watch them." After public backlash, [[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/education/kentucky-governor-apologizes-after-linking-child-abuse-teacher-protests-n866156 he issued an apology stating (in part) the following]]. Translation - "I'm sorry you were too stupid to understand what I was intending."

* The CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch released a press statement, responding to an earlier statement he had made in which he said that the company has no problem only selling to "cool" people, and that you can't be cool unless you're thin. In his [[http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-abercrombie-ceo-20130517,0,6746760.story new statement]], he "apologizes" for that remark, stating: "I sincerely regret that my choice of words was interpreted in a manner that has caused offense".

* In 2003, longtime UsefulNotes/CanadianFootballLeague rivals, the Saskatchewan Roughriders and Winnipeg Blue Bombers, faced each other in the CFL West Division semifinals. During the run-up to the game, Bombers kicker Troy Westwood was quoted in the media as calling people from the Riders' home city of Regina "a bunch of banjo-pickin' inbreds." He later issued a faux apology, saying "the vast majority of the people in Saskatchewan have no idea how to play the banjo." Ever since, the rematch between the two teams in Winnipeg that follows their Labour Day Classic matchup in Regina has been called the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banjo_Bowl Banjo Bowl]].

* Right before US Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) was voted off her committee assignments in February 2021 for her past calls for political violence against several prominent Democrats [[note]] At one point on Facebook she liked a comment saying Nancy Pelosi should be shot. She’d at another point in time replied in agreement to a comment about how Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton should be hanged. She also ran a spot during her election in which she shot a picture of a group of progressive Congresswomen known as “The Squad” with an assault rifle. [[/note]] and open support for various deranged conspiracy theories [[note]] Included but not limited to: Q-Anon which claims that the world is run by a ring of satan worshipping, child eating pedophiles, school shootings being “false flags” by gun control advocates, Democratic philanthropist and Holocaust survivor George Soros having been a secret Nazi as a kid, the 2018 California wildfires being started by a space laser from a company owned by a Jewish family, and a plane not really crashing into the Pentagon on 9/11.[[/note]], she gave a speech in defense of herself. During her roughly half hour speech, she claimed that she wasn’t that person anymore and was sorry she’d been manipulated in the past into believing such things at a rough patch in her life but never directly apologized. She blamed the media and government for radicalizing her and said she was sorry for that but never took responsibility for her own actions, some of which had happened as recently as not even a month before.

[[caption-width-right:273:She's apologizing but not for her actions!]]

* In episode 11 of the English dub of [[Anime/BakutenShootBeyblade Beyblade G-Revolution]], after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary orders the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?

* Played humorously in ''Series/That70sShow''. Kelso tells the guys that he got into some trouble with Pam Macey, mainly him unable to... well, let's just say in his case, [[TheLoinsSleepTonight the South didn't rise again]]. Eric and Hyde proceed to mock him about, which Fez chatises them for. Then we get this gem from him:

'''Rin:''' I'm ''especially'' sorry that you straight-up tried to throw a punch at a Servant who's been talking about killing you for days]] ''before'' letting your guard down around them!\\

* In episode 11 of [[Anime/BakutenShootBeyblade Beyblade G-Revolution]], after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary orders the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?

* In episode 11 of the third season of [[''Anime/BakutenShootBeyblade Beyblade G-Revolution'']], after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary orders the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?

* In episode 11 of the third season of ''Anime/BeyBlade'', after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary orders the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?

* In episode 11 of the third season of ''Anime/Beyblade'', after losing a tag match against Ray and Lee, and a spat between Tyson and Daichi, Hilary orders the former to apologize to the latter for saying he'd "be better off beyblading alone". His response?