History Main / AnswersToTheNameOfGod

** A similar joke can be used regarding the Paris Peace Conference in 1919 with Georges Clemenceau substituted for Stalin (and France substituted for the Soviet Union) and Woodrow Wilson substituted for FDR.

* [[GodNeverSaidThat So goes the legend]], Stalin was once asked at Yalta (or Potsdam, take your pick) how he knew that he would become ruler of the Soviet Union. Stalin says that God came to him in a vision and told him so ([[CriticalResearchFailure let's forget he was a staunch atheist for the purpose of the joke]]). Franklin Roosevelt turns to Stalin, and says, "Now wait a minute Joe, I never said any such thing!"

* In ''[[Literature/JackRyan The Bear and The Dragon]]'' people keep reacting to President Jack Ryan's presence unannounced with "Jesus!" He eventually responds, towards the end of the book, with "That's not my name!"

* A joke about an shockingly-looking girlfriend:

* ''Film/DriveAngry''. When someone exclaims, "Jesus!" the Accountant informs him that he's a carpenter and "[[LooksLikeJesus despite what you've heard]], prefers short hair."

'''Harry:''' [[DeadpanSnarker There's no need to]] [[MomentOfAwesome call me 'sir,' Professor.]]

-->'''Huntley:''' You have ten seconds to tell me who you are before I blow you to hell.\\

'''Huntley:''' [[SarcasmMode I highly doubt it.]] Five seconds.

* ''FanFic/ThePiecesLieWhereTheyFell'': Non-religious variant in thee sequel ''Picking Up the Pieces'' - in chapter 5, Xvital has just entered the kitchen of their hotel penthouse suite and sees a mare working on a cake. From the smell, she deduces what kind it is, and asks "Mango cake?" The chef, who is still frosting the cake and knows exactly what she means, jokingly but truthfully responds with "That's my cousin's name, actually."

* In an episode of ''MurphysLaw'' where Murphy reveals he's an undercover cop to a suspect he's been working:

* ''[[OhGod Oh God! You Devil]]'':

-->'''Woman:''' Oh, sweet Jesus!
-->'''Wonderboy:''' It's Wonderboy, actually. Close, though!

-->'''Synesthesia''' Oh, Jesus...
-->'''King Peacock''': Actually, Baldur's more of a Teutonic antecedent of Jesus, but you're in the right ballpark.

-->'''Russian politician:''' Oh God oh God oh God...
-->'''Fury:''' Close enough.

-->'''Applejack:''' [[OhMyGods Holy Celestia!]]\\

--> '''J.P. Monroe:''' Jesus Christ!\\
'''Pinhead:''' Not quite.

-->'''Tina:''' Please, God!\\
'''Freddy''' (gesturing to his face with the claws): ''This'' is God.

-->'''Jesse Braun:''' Oh, God!\\

-->'''Brutha:''' Oh! My God!\\

--> '''Butters''' Jesus Christ!\\

-->'''Hacker:''' How did Humphrey know where I was?\\

-->'''Bernard:''' ...Of course, in the Service, CMG stands for "Call Me God". And KCMG stands for "Kindly Call Me God".\\

-->'''George:''' MY GOD!
-->'''Flashheart:''' Yes, I suppose I am.

-->'''Baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells:'''' Drugged, by God!\\

-->'''Molly:''' Oh, thank God!\\

-->'''Dean:''' (after seeing Alastair disappear in a bright flash of light) What the Hell?\\

-->'''Ruby:''' Now guess who's coming to dinner ...\\

-->'''Ed:''' *reacting to Castiel's sudden appearance* JESUS CHRIST!\\

-->'''[[BigBad Bobo Del Rey]]''': (''annoyed'') Jesus Christ...
-->'''[[MysteriousWatcher Juan Carlo]]''': [[DeadpanSnarker Right initials, wrong guy.]]

-->'''Wife of statesman:''' "Oh my god!"
-->'''Statesman:''' "<his first name> will suffice while we're among us."

-->'''Guy''': Everybody says my girlfriend looks like Virgin Mary. (shows a photo)
-->'''Friend''': Sweet mother of God!!!

-->'''Jo Kendall:''' Oh my God!
-->'''Director-General:''' Very close! I am, in fact... ''the Director-General of Creator/TheBBC! (Hallelujah Chorus)''

-->'''God:''' "Jesus ''Christ'', what on Earth is that!?"\\
'''Jesus:''' "Don't take my name in vain, Dad!"\\
'''God:''' "Jeezie Chreezie, what on Earth is that!?"\\
'''Jesus:''' "Don't call me Jeezie Chreezie!"

-->'''Mary''': Joe,I'm pregnant.\\
'''Joseph'''(stunned): Holy mother of God...\\
'''Mary''': You're right!\\
'''Joseph''': Oh, Jesus ''Christ'', Mary!\\
'''Mary''': That's a ''great'' name, Joe! It's so much better than Shmuel!

--> '''Mary:''' Joseph? Do you remember how we've never made love?\\
'''Joseph: *eagerly*''' Yes?\\

'''Mary: *relieved*''' Oh, you already know about it?

-->'''Frankie:''' Oh god oh god oh god...
-->'''Gavin:''' Please stop calling me that.

--> '''Guru:''' Nail... I will henceforth be known as [[HypocriticalHumor Super Kami.]] No, wait- Super Kami ''Guru.''
--> '''Nail:''' [[InSeriesNickname Can I just call you Guru for short?]]
--> '''Guru:''' [[ThirdPersonPerson Super Kami Guru allows this.]]

--> '''Kami:''' Are you sure this will work?\\

-->'''Vegeta''': The f*ck's a "Kami?"\\
'''Krillin''': Basically God.\\
'''Vegeta''': But I'm still here!

-->'''17''': Seriously, What the hell's a Kami?\\
'''Piccolo''': It means God. Now bow.

--> '''Cell''': So...keep that in mind, and I'll see you next Sunday! Also: feel free to pray to your god. But—spoilers! - I won't be listening.

-->'''Piccolo''': (''to Gohan'') You know I do actually celebrate Christmas.\\
'''Gohan''': Really?\\
'''Piccolo''': Yeah, when you think about it. I'm basically the Son of God.\\
'''Kami''': (''in Piccolo's mind'') [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh, Jesus Christ.]]\\
'''Piccolo''': (''to Kami'') [[ComicallyMissingThePoint KINDA!]]\\
'''Nail''': (''also in Piccolo's mind'') Wait, does that make me the Holy Spirit?\\
'''Piccolo and Kami''': (''to Nail'') [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike KINDA!]]

* Fairly sinister example- ProfessionalKiller Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski once said this:
-->I don't believe in God. People have called me God, though- "Oh God, no! Oh God, no!"
* Marie: "God, your feet are cold!"
-->Vince Lombardi: "When we're in bed, just call me Vince."

* During the ''WesternAnimation/CampCamp'' Christmas special, Max yells "Jesus Christ!" upon seeing Preston dressed up for his one-man Nativity play. Take a wild guess as to what costume he was wearing.

'''Piccolo and Kami''': (''to Nail'') [[StrangeThingsThinkAlike KINDA!]]

* A variant occurs in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' that retold the story of Noah:

* ''[[Website/NotAlwaysRight Not Always Learning]]'' had a teacher use [[http://notalwayslearning.com/answering-to-a-high-school-er-power/30522 this.]]

* The dorm leader of ''Manga/MariaHolic'', a short menacing cat eared lady whose name is in fact ''God''

If a CardCarryingVillain, he will wryly comment that he's quite the opposite.

A character exclaims, "Oh {{God}}!" Or "Jesus Christ!" or some other variation. Another character reacts as if he has been addressed. Can be used by heroes or villains, and is usually an indicator of [[PhysicalGod great power]], [[AGodAmI great insanity]], or [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity both]]; otherwise, it's PlayedForLaughs.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* A variant occurs in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' that retold the story of Noah:
-->'''Noah:''' Ma, is that you? Your voice changed.\\
'''God:''' I'm not your mother, Noah.\\
'''Noah:''' Oh, my God.\\
'''God:''' Precisely.
* A short cartoon shown in the early days of ''WesternAnimation/SpikeAndMike'' involved the main character interrupting, among other things, a brain surgery in progress...
-->'''Surgeon:''' God! Oh God!\\
'''Rick:''' Oh please, let's not be formal. Call me "Bishop".
* In every ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode that features Jesus, some character will exclaim "Jesus!", prompting Jesus to inquire, "Yes?"
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', where Peter has convinced others that he has healing abilities and is the Messiah.
-->'''Lois:''' (sees a giant golden idol in Peter's image) Oh my God!\\
'''Peter:''' Yes?\\
'''Lois:''' That's not funny.
** And another:
--->'''God:''' (''after accidentally burning down a bar'') Jesus Christ!\\
'''Jesus:''' What?\\
'''God:''' Get the Escalade, we're out of here!
** Yet another:
--->'''Peter:''' (''seeing that their bar hasn't been destroyed by the hurricane'') Thank God!\\
'''God:''' (''on horseback'') You're welcome!
* Subverted in ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''.
-->'''Bender:''' ''Oh my God.'' Are you...God?\\
'''God?:''' Possibly.
* In ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', the Joker pulls of a more family-friendly version on a copyright official.
-->'''Mr. Francis:''' Great Scott!\\
'''Joker:''' ''Actually'', I'm Irish.
* In ''WesternAnimation/SupermanTheAnimatedSeries'', when Jimmy and Lois see the demon Superman is fighting:
-->'''Jimmy:''' Holy...\\
'''Lois:''' Not the word I would use.
** A variation occurs in another episode where Bruno Mannheim finds himself on Apokolips and asks "Where in God's name are we?" to which Kanto replies, "That depends. [[{{ComicBook/Darkseid}} Which god are you talking about?]]"
* ''WesternAnimation/BromwellHigh'' has an episode where one of the teachers build a robotic Jesus. Obviously, when said teacher says Jesus in dismay, the robot went "...Yes?".
* A RunningGag in ''WesternAnimation/SheepInTheBigCity'' is whenever a character exclaims "Great Scott!", a stereotypical Scotsman by that name appears and says, [[BigYes "YEEESS?!"]]
* Played with in ''WesternAnimation/TheOblongs''.
-->'''Pristine:''' When things look their darkest, and I'm not sure there's a reason to go on, there's always one person I turn to.\\
'''Pickles:''' Jesus?\\
'''Pristine:''' Yes, but he pronounces it 'Hey-Zeus.' He's the best facialist in Hill Valley.
[[/folder]]

* ''BecomingBlizzard'' has a scene where the devil suddenly appears to offer Rufus a [[DealWithTheDevil deal]]:

* Used often in the ''Franchise/MetalGear [[AffectionateParody Awesome]]'' series of Flash shorts:

* A [[RussianHumour Russian joke]] about a [[TheNewRussia New]] [[NouveauRiche Russian]] has a similar sentiment: