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-> ''"The gods are among us and they are flawed. ''Literature/DivineMisfortune'' was always intended to be a tribute to the myths of old, where gods were real and powerful, and where faith was a foreign concept when Zeus might show up to toss lightning bolts around in a drunken stupor. The idea of gods as humanwith all the advantages and disadvantages of incredible power and immortality was always appealing to me, and despite featuring some of the most powerful characters I've ever created, the story is grounded in very mundane reality. It's ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' meets ''Literature/TheIliad'', and, even though the gods are often jerks, they have their moments of introspection. This is one of those moments. "''
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-> ''"The gods are among us and they are flawed. ''Literature/DivineMisfortune'' was always intended to be a tribute to the myths of old, where gods were real and powerful, and where faith was a foreign concept when Zeus might show up to toss lightning bolts around in a drunken stupor. The idea of gods as humanwith human with all the advantages and disadvantages of incredible power and immortality was always appealing to me, and despite featuring some of the most powerful characters I've ever created, the story is grounded in very mundane reality. It's ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' meets ''Literature/TheIliad'', and, even though the gods are often jerks, they have their moments of introspection. This is one of those moments. "''
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* MisplacedRetribution: Ogbunabali regales Ares about a time [[CelestialBureaucracy Fury Central]] sent him to reap DivinePunishment on a mortal for getting in a car accident with a demigod. When he does some digging, he finds out that not only was the demigod at fault for driving under the influence, but while the demigod made a full-recover thanks to his divine heritage, the mark had to walk with a limp because the accident broke his leg in three place. The only reason why Ogbunabali was sent after him was because [[RevengeMyopia the demigod's godly parent commissioned the hit]]. Ogbunabali was so ashamed of this, he falsified a report claiming that justice was served, [[ExtraordinaryWorldOrdinaryProblems knowing Fury Central is too bogged down to even bother looking into it]].
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* MisplacedRetribution: Ogbunabali regales Ares about a time [[CelestialBureaucracy Fury Central]] sent him to reap DivinePunishment on a mortal for getting in a car accident with a demigod. When he does some digging, he finds out that not only was the demigod at fault for driving under the influence, but while the demigod made a full-recover full recovery thanks to his divine heritage, the mark had to walk with a limp because the accident broke his leg in three place. The only reason why Ogbunabali was sent after him was because [[RevengeMyopia the demigod's godly parent commissioned the hit]]. Ogbunabali was so ashamed of this, he falsified a report claiming that justice was served, [[ExtraordinaryWorldOrdinaryProblems knowing Fury Central is too bogged down to even bother looking into it]].
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* DivinePunishment: Fury Central is a CelestialBureaucracy ran and operated by gods who's job is to reap divine justice on souls guilty of some great sin or violating some sacred law. [[BeleagueredBureaucrat Because of sheer workload]], they will often commission gods who's domain falls under their business model in order to keep their quota.
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* MisplacedRetribution: Ogbunabali regales Ares about a time [[CelestialBureaucracy Fury Central]] sent him to reap DivinePunishment on a mortal for getting in a car accident with a demigod. When he does some digging, he finds out that not only was the demigod at fault for driving under the influence, but while the demigod made a full-recover thanks to his divine heritage, the mark had to walk with a limp because the accident broke his leg in three place. The only reason why Ogbunabali was sent after him was because [[RevengeMyopia the demigod's godly parent commissioned the hit]]. Ogbunabali was so ashamed of this, he falsified a report claiming that justice was served, [[ExtraordinaryWorldOrdinaryProblems knowing Fury Central is too bogged down to even bother looking into it]].
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-> ''"The gods are among us and they are flawed. ''Literature/DivineMisfortune'' was always intended to be a tribute to the myths of old, where gods were real and powerful, and where faith was a foreign concept when Zeus might show up to toss lightning bolts around in a drunken stupor. The idea of gods as humanwith all the advantages and disadvantages of incredible power and immortality was always appealing to me, and despite featuring some of the most powerful characters I've ever created, the story is grounded in very mundane reality. It's ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' meets ''Literature/TheIliad'', and, even though the gods are often jerks, they have their moments of introspection. This is one of those moments. "''
-->-- '''Author's Notes'''
''My Dinner with Ares'' is a ComicFantasy short story written by Creator/ALeeMartinez and published in the 2013 anthology book ''Robots versus Slime Monsters''. The story is set after the events of the novel ''Literature/DivineMisfortune'', where Ares and Ogbunabali ponder upon the nature of humanity and their relations to it.
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!!''My Dinner with Ares'' provides examples of:
* TheGrimReaper: Ogbunabali is a God of Death and DivinePunishment of the Igbo faith that takes on a variety of forms that inspire dread, though he prefers the TallDarkAndHandsome look when off the clock.
* HatePlague: Being a WarGod, Ares's presence tends to cause humans to become irritable and prone to fighting, a problem only compounded by Ogbunabali's aura of death making everyone on edge.
* HumansAreSpecial: While Ares thinks of mortals as quant but not worth getting worked up over, Ogbunabali sees them as more capable than most gods give them credit for, even pondering what it would be like to be mortal.
* ModernizedGod: The form Ares takes in this story is a gruff man in modern camo-fatigues along with the old Spartan helmet. He also carries a Glock pistol along with the old shield and sword.
* MoneyIsNotPower: Ogbunabali regales to Ares about a follower who he kept alive for centuries in exchange for offerings, but eventually Ogbunabali had to reap his soul since no mortal can avoid death forever. In response, the man begged to be spared, offering everything from burning his entire fortune in his honor to having Creator/StevenSpielberg make a movie glorifying him.
* NiceToTheWaiter: Ares insists on calling his waiter a "wench" because he "does a wench's work", which clearly irritates the waiter.
* PetTheDog: When Ogbunabali's presence aggravates a man's preexisting heart condition, he causally wills it so that the condition won't kill him for another few years.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Being the personification of "the grim reality of oblivion", mortals tend to act like Ogbunabali isn't even there no matter what form he takes.
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-->-- '''Author's Notes'''
''My Dinner with Ares'' is a ComicFantasy short story written by Creator/ALeeMartinez and published in the 2013 anthology book ''Robots versus Slime Monsters''. The story is set after the events of the novel ''Literature/DivineMisfortune'', where Ares and Ogbunabali ponder upon the nature of humanity and their relations to it.
----
!!''My Dinner with Ares'' provides examples of:
* TheGrimReaper: Ogbunabali is a God of Death and DivinePunishment of the Igbo faith that takes on a variety of forms that inspire dread, though he prefers the TallDarkAndHandsome look when off the clock.
* HatePlague: Being a WarGod, Ares's presence tends to cause humans to become irritable and prone to fighting, a problem only compounded by Ogbunabali's aura of death making everyone on edge.
* HumansAreSpecial: While Ares thinks of mortals as quant but not worth getting worked up over, Ogbunabali sees them as more capable than most gods give them credit for, even pondering what it would be like to be mortal.
* ModernizedGod: The form Ares takes in this story is a gruff man in modern camo-fatigues along with the old Spartan helmet. He also carries a Glock pistol along with the old shield and sword.
* MoneyIsNotPower: Ogbunabali regales to Ares about a follower who he kept alive for centuries in exchange for offerings, but eventually Ogbunabali had to reap his soul since no mortal can avoid death forever. In response, the man begged to be spared, offering everything from burning his entire fortune in his honor to having Creator/StevenSpielberg make a movie glorifying him.
* NiceToTheWaiter: Ares insists on calling his waiter a "wench" because he "does a wench's work", which clearly irritates the waiter.
* PetTheDog: When Ogbunabali's presence aggravates a man's preexisting heart condition, he causally wills it so that the condition won't kill him for another few years.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Being the personification of "the grim reality of oblivion", mortals tend to act like Ogbunabali isn't even there no matter what form he takes.
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