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Changed line(s) 260 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mike T.:''' EVERYBODY RUN! IT'S A GIANT TARANTULA!
to:
Changed line(s) 274 (click to see context) from:
* From "Partiers 12", two words: chicken sandwich sandwich.
to:
* From "Partiers 12", two three words: chicken sandwich sandwich.
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Changed line(s) 89 (click to see context) from:
to:
** Even better is the cashier who actually interviews the bird on camera.
---> '''Cashier:''' You've now been exposed for your life of crime. Do you have anything to say for yourself?\\
'''Bird:''' Piss off! Get away!
---> '''Cashier:''' You've now been exposed for your life of crime. Do you have anything to say for yourself?\\
'''Bird:''' Piss off! Get away!
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* One clip shows the chaos that followed the release of CabbagePatchKids, one little girl with feathery blonde hair apparently had a doll snatched out of her hands and is crying over it, while another lady vents her anger about the entire situation.
to:
* One clip shows the chaos that followed the release of CabbagePatchKids, Toys/CabbagePatchKids, one little girl with feathery blonde hair apparently had a doll snatched out of her hands and is crying over it, while another lady vents her anger about the entire situation.
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* From Inventions 8, the Kwik-Sip, a special faucet that turns a sink's regular faucet into a water fountain. Brendan Walsh then has an ImagineSpot on what the Kwik-Sip might do to the paper cup industry:
-->'''Ted:''' I'm sorry, folks. After 70 years, we're closing down the paper cup factory.
-->'''Daniel:''' But...why?
-->'''Ted:''' Because of a new invention called the "Kwik-Sip". Turns your sink into a fountain.
-->'''Daniel:''' I guess Kwik-Sip doesn't care about my family.
-->''(Daniel takes out his wallet, which has a picture of him, his wife, and his two kids, both of whom have Ted's face photoshopped over them)''
-->'''Ted:''' No, I suppose they don't.
-->'''Daniel:''' '''''KWIK-SIP!!!!!!!'''''
** Later in the same episode: the Go-Plate, a plate that can hold food and drinks so that the buyer can eat while standing. Brendan proceeds to have another ImagineSpot on what the Go-Plate will do to the table industry:
-->'''Chuck:''' Sorry, people. Gonna have to shut down the factory.
-->'''Daniel:''' You're kidding me! People don't buy tables anymore?
-->'''Chuck:''' Nope. They just put their stuff on Go-Plates.
-->'''Daniel:''' '''''GO-PLATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
-->'''Ted:''' I'm sorry, folks. After 70 years, we're closing down the paper cup factory.
-->'''Daniel:''' But...why?
-->'''Ted:''' Because of a new invention called the "Kwik-Sip". Turns your sink into a fountain.
-->'''Daniel:''' I guess Kwik-Sip doesn't care about my family.
-->''(Daniel takes out his wallet, which has a picture of him, his wife, and his two kids, both of whom have Ted's face photoshopped over them)''
-->'''Ted:''' No, I suppose they don't.
-->'''Daniel:''' '''''KWIK-SIP!!!!!!!'''''
** Later in the same episode: the Go-Plate, a plate that can hold food and drinks so that the buyer can eat while standing. Brendan proceeds to have another ImagineSpot on what the Go-Plate will do to the table industry:
-->'''Chuck:''' Sorry, people. Gonna have to shut down the factory.
-->'''Daniel:''' You're kidding me! People don't buy tables anymore?
-->'''Chuck:''' Nope. They just put their stuff on Go-Plates.
-->'''Daniel:''' '''''GO-PLATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
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Changed line(s) 260 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mike T.:'' I thought we've filled our stupid Partridge quota for this show already.\\
to:
-->'''Mike T.:'' :''' I thought we've filled our stupid Partridge quota for this show already.\\
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* From "Partiers 14", we get a clip of someone getting a sobriety test. Normal enough but the person in question? [[Series/ThePartridgeFamily David Cassidy]].
-->'''Mike T.:'' I thought we've filled our stupid Partridge quota for this show already.\\
'''Danny:''' And just like that, I'm no longer the most embarrassing member of the Partridge family. Thanks, Dave!
-->'''Mike T.:'' I thought we've filled our stupid Partridge quota for this show already.\\
'''Danny:''' And just like that, I'm no longer the most embarrassing member of the Partridge family. Thanks, Dave!
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Changed line(s) 172,174 (click to see context) from:
* The Ms. Taken ring: essentially, a fake wedding ring for women to drive away perverts that are hitting on them.
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin' 2-karet Australian crystal--
-->'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?! Uh-uh!
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin' 2-karet Australian crystal--
-->'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?! Uh-uh!
to:
* The From "Inventions 5", the Ms. Taken ring: essentially, a fake wedding ring for women to drive away perverts that are hitting on them.
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin'2-karet 2-carat Australian crystal--
-->'''Wes:'''crystal--\\
'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?!Uh-uh!Uh-uh!
** And Brad has a complaint about the product:
--->'''Brad:''' This takes all the fun out of telling a dude you're a lesbian!
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin'
-->'''Wes:'''
'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?!
** And Brad has a complaint about the product:
--->'''Brad:''' This takes all the fun out of telling a dude you're a lesbian!
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Changed line(s) 326 (click to see context) from:
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was disgusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
to:
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's Creator/VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was disgusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
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Changed line(s) 255 (click to see context) from:
* From "Partiers 13", the commentary for the clip of a drunk woman being videotaped by [[spoiler:her son]].
to:
* From "Partiers 13", the whole commentary for the clip of a drunk woman being videotaped by [[spoiler:her son]].son]].
* From "Partiers 12", two words: chicken sandwich sandwich.
* From "Partiers 12", two words: chicken sandwich sandwich.
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* From "Partiers 13", the commentary for the clip of a drunk woman being videotaped by [[spoiler:her son]].
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* "Of all the bum luck! First I sleep through my alarm clock-- now my arm's pointing the wrong way! Aw, dang, this just isn't my day."
Deleted line(s) 346 (click to see context) :
* "Of all the bum luck! First I sleep through my alarm clock-- now my arm's pointing the wrong way! Aw, dang, this just isn't my day."
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' an arguement!
to:
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' an arguement!argument!
Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, like a schoolchild, at a French Game show. [[AllMenArePerverts A French game show that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
to:
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, hands like a schoolchild, schoolchild at a French Game show. game show -- [[AllMenArePerverts A French game show one that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
Changed line(s) 47,49 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Passenger:''' We own this city!
--->'''Driver:''' Where are we?
--->'''Passenger:''' I don't know.
--->'''Driver:''' Where are we?
--->'''Passenger:''' I don't know.
to:
Changed line(s) 54,56 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nick:''' Could he have made himself look even ''more'' suspicious?!
-->'''Jaime:''' You're not ''really'' paranoid if they're ''really'' watching you...
-->'''Mike T.:''' (As the shoplifter) Whaddya lookin' at me for? You keep lookin' at me, fine, I'm gonna keep lookin' at ''you'', camera!
-->'''Jaime:''' You're not ''really'' paranoid if they're ''really'' watching you...
-->'''Mike T.:''' (As the shoplifter) Whaddya lookin' at me for? You keep lookin' at me, fine, I'm gonna keep lookin' at ''you'', camera!
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Changed line(s) 58 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kevin:''' This guy is either a shoplifter, or participating in the most emotionally conflicting razor purchase ever.
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Changed line(s) 60,61 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Todd as an angel:''' Now, now, you know you don't want to rob the store.
-->'''Todd as a devil:''' You don't know what you're talking about! Rob the place! ''Rob the place!''
-->'''Todd as a devil:''' You don't know what you're talking about! Rob the place! ''Rob the place!''
to:
Changed line(s) 63 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kevin:''' This should have been an intervention; "Dude? Seriously? You are ''terrible'' at stealing stuff. You ''have'' to stop."
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Changed line(s) 66 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Danny:''' What can I say? It's a grower, not a shower.
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Changed line(s) 68 (click to see context) from:
* Tom, in response to a clip of a herd of cattle that escaped from a rodeo and stampedes into a conveniece store:
to:
* Tom, in response to a clip of a herd of cattle that escaped from a rodeo and stampedes into a conveniece convenience store:
Changed line(s) 72,73 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Daisy:''' Phew! Thank God she was able to break her fall [[CaptainObvious by getting down on her hands and knees very slowly.]]
-->'''Kevin:''' Someone help! My friend is... uh... taking a nap!
-->'''Kevin:''' Someone help! My friend is... uh... taking a nap!
to:
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Danny:''' Those are the three fastest-moving people in ''all'' of Florida!
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Changed line(s) 77 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Ted:''' What's the woman in the motorized cart going to do for the woman on the floor? Gloat?
to:
Changed line(s) 79 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mike T.:''' There's a lot of weird stuff goin' on in this aisle, you got healthy people falling down, people in carts rising to their feet, it's like the Bermuda Triangle over there!
to:
Changed line(s) 81 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jaime:''' (As lawyer) We've received your claim, and '''''BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'''''
to:
Changed line(s) 83 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' I don't remember this episode of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls''... it's [[DarkerAndEdgier a little dark...]]
to:
Changed line(s) 179 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' (walks in) What did you say?! (To Mike T.) Hold on a sec, (To inventor) did you just call me ''fat?!''
to:
-->'''Brad:''' (walks in) What did you say?! (To Mike T.) Hold on a sec, (To (to inventor) did you just call me ''fat?!''
Changed line(s) 183,184 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' So in the time it took to invent this, I'm assuming we've cured cancer, stopped global warmning, and now have flying cars?
* Former MLB player, Mark Litell, endorsing the Nutty Buddy:
* Former MLB player, Mark Litell, endorsing the Nutty Buddy:
to:
-->'''Brad:''' So in the time it took to invent this, I'm assuming we've cured cancer, stopped global warmning, warming, and now have flying cars?
* Former MLBplayer, player Mark Litell, Litell endorsing the Nutty Buddy:
* Former MLB
Changed line(s) 222 (click to see context) from:
* Mike T. on a clip in Equador of a man wearing sunglasses walking by and ignoring two school girls being attacked by random man.
to:
* Mike T. on a clip in Equador Ecuador of a man wearing sunglasses walking by and ignoring two school girls being attacked by random man.
Changed line(s) 232,234 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Passenger:''' We shouldn't have done this dawg, this was stupid as fuck!
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I love you guys.
-->'''Others:''' We love you too dawg.
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I love you guys.
-->'''Others:''' We love you too dawg.
to:
-->'''Passenger:''' We shouldn't have done this this, dawg, this was stupid as fuck!
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I loveyou you, guys.
-->'''Others:''' We love youtoo too, dawg.
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I love
-->'''Others:''' We love you
Changed line(s) 238 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jaime:''' You've been hit by a bus... ''lay down'' [[[GetRichQuickScheme rubs fingers together] for a minute]]...
to:
-->'''Jaime:''' You've been hit by a bus... ''lay down'' [[[GetRichQuickScheme rubs [[GetRichQuickScheme [rubs fingers together] for a minute]]...
Changed line(s) 244 (click to see context) from:
* Tonya watching a clip of monkeys irritated at a drunk man invading their pin in a zoo.
to:
* Tonya watching a clip of monkeys irritated at a drunk man invading their pin pen in a zoo.
Changed line(s) 299 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' I didn't know we could bring our own home vidoes on this show, because I've got one of my daughter sitting on the potty.
to:
-->'''Billy:''' I didn't know we could bring our own home vidoes videos on this show, because I've got one of my daughter sitting on the potty.
Changed line(s) 312 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah, I'm actually moving, and I collected those boxes from three different liquor stores, so unless you guys wanns help me move... yeah, that's what I thought.
to:
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah, I'm actually moving, and I collected those boxes from three different liquor stores, so unless you guys wanns wanna help me move... yeah, that's what I thought.
Changed line(s) 323 (click to see context) from:
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was digusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
to:
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was digusted, disgusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
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* The sheer absurdity of the Japanese game show featured in "Performers 15".
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Changed line(s) 238 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chelsea:''' You've been hit by a bus... ''lie down''...
to:
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Changed line(s) 250,252 (click to see context) from:
* An athlete celebrates by drinking way too much Vodka. Loni tries to figure out his speech.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speak Vodka?
* A tailgating party where an elderly lady is actually getting her groove on, and even drawing attention from other younger people attending the party... and then a guy just walks by right in front of the camera.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speak Vodka?
* A tailgating party where an elderly lady is actually getting her groove on, and even drawing attention from other younger people attending the party... and then a guy just walks by right in front of the camera.
to:
* An athlete celebrates by drinking way too much Vodka.vodka. Loni tries to figure out his speech.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speakVodka?
vodka?
*A "Partiers 20" shows a clip of a tailgating party where an elderly lady is actually getting her groove on, and even drawing attention from other younger people attending the party... and then a guy just walks by right in front of the camera.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speak
*
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Changed line(s) 279,280 (click to see context) from:
* Reactions in two different clips that feature attractive young girls:
** The first has a guy pulling a prank on his girlfriend by pulling a small toy clown on a tricycle with fishing line when she returns home from work (as she's terrified of clowns); when she returns home:
** The first has a guy pulling a prank on his girlfriend by pulling a small toy clown on a tricycle with fishing line when she returns home from work (as she's terrified of clowns); when she returns home:
to:
* Reactions in two different clips from "Pranksters 2" that feature attractive young girls:
** The first has a girl paint clown makeup on her face and hideing in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dump creepy-crawlies on her; she panics, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
--->'''Danny:''' The painted face is horrifying, but she's stripping? My boner is confused.
** In the other clip, a guypulling pulls a prank on his girlfriend by pulling a small toy clown on a tricycle with fishing line when she returns home from work (as she's terrified of clowns); when she returns home:
** The first has a girl paint clown makeup on her face and hideing in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dump creepy-crawlies on her; she panics, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
--->'''Danny:''' The painted face is horrifying, but she's stripping? My boner is confused.
** In the other clip, a guy
Deleted line(s) 283,284 (click to see context) :
** In the other clip from "Pranksters 2", a girl paints clown makeup on her face and hides in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dump creepy-crawlies on her; she panics, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
--->'''Danny:''' The painted face is horrifying, but she's stripping? My boner is confused.
--->'''Danny:''' The painted face is horrifying, but she's stripping? My boner is confused.
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Changed line(s) 284 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
to:
--->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup painted face is disturbing, horrifying, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.confused.
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' a arguement!
to:
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' a an arguement!
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nick:''' You're runnin' through a park scarin' ducks? Why don't you try somethin', like, I don't know, maybe girls? Sports?
to:
Changed line(s) 18,19 (click to see context) from:
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, like a schoolchild, at a French Game show. [[AllMenArePerverts A french game show that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
--> '''Chuck:''' [[ItsTheBestWhateverEver It's the best show ever!]]
--> '''Chuck:''' [[ItsTheBestWhateverEver It's the best show ever!]]
to:
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, like a schoolchild, at a French Game show. [[AllMenArePerverts A french French game show that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
--> '''Chuck:''' -->'''Chuck:''' [[ItsTheBestWhateverEver It's the best show ever!]]
Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Judy:''' Okay, you can start the snail race, go out to dinner, see a movie, come back, and the snail's in the same fucking place as it was when it started.
to:
Changed line(s) 24,25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Loni:''' Uh, those two don't look like they're racing, they look like they gettin' it on.
-->'''Mike T.:''' That's always fun when you have to explain things to your kids, like, "Why are the snails hurting each other, Daddy?" "Ugh, oh God, this is gonna be a long car ride home."
-->'''Mike T.:''' That's always fun when you have to explain things to your kids, like, "Why are the snails hurting each other, Daddy?" "Ugh, oh God, this is gonna be a long car ride home."
to:
-->'''Mike
'''Mike T.:''' That's always fun when you have to explain things to your kids, like, "Why are the snails hurting each other, Daddy?" "Ugh, oh God, this is gonna be a long car ride home."
Changed line(s) 211 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brendan:''' (Fumbling with his phone) ''[[StalkerWithACrush When the hell will Tonya Harding text me back?!]]'' [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey look, a Twix!]]
to:
-->'''Brendan:''' (Fumbling with his phone) ''[[StalkerWithACrush When the hell will Tonya Harding text me back?!]]'' [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey look, Ooh, a Twix!]]
Changed line(s) 235 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' You guys don't have to say your goodbyes like its ''Film/ThelmaAndLouise'', you're just getting arrested...
to:
-->'''Brad:''' You guys don't have to say your goodbyes like its it's ''Film/ThelmaAndLouise'', you're just getting arrested...
Changed line(s) 281 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nick:''' What kind of work she was coming home from that she has to wear skin-tight short shorts? Was she in a ''Magazine/{{Playboy}}'' shoot?
to:
Changed line(s) 283,284 (click to see context) from:
** In the other clip, a girl paints clown makeup on her face and hides in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dumo creepy-crawlies on her; she panicks, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
-->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
-->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
to:
** In the other clip, clip from "Pranksters 2", a girl paints clown makeup on her face and hides in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dumo dump creepy-crawlies on her; she panicks, panics, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
-->'''Danny:''' --->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
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* From "World's Dumbest Performers 13", the guy twerking in the middle of a traffic jam.
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--> '''Chuck:''' [[ItsTheBestWhateverEver It's the best show ever!]]
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** Followed by a "police lineup" of cast members pretending to show their penises--including Judy Gold. Danny Bonaduce ends up getting fingered for having a [[TeenyWeenie small one]].
---> '''Danny:''' What can I say? It's a grower, not a shower.
---> '''Danny:''' What can I say? It's a grower, not a shower.
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Changed line(s) 298 (click to see context) from:
* "Ladies and gentlemen, the 2048 Republican nominee for president of the United States: Richie McDickface."
to:
* "Ladies and gentlemen, the 2048 Republican nominee for president of the United States: Richie McDickface.[=McDickface=]."
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Changed line(s) 300,301 (click to see context) from:
to:
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Changed line(s) 188 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chris:''' See how those noodles wrap around that fork? That's what I want to do with my arms around Bob, 'cause he needs a hug.
to:
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Changed line(s) 297 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:Show-Off (Even more things you're better off not doing)]]
to:
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* From Inventions 12, the commentators poking fun at Bob Balow, the inventor of the "Original Pasta Fork."
-->'''Ted:''' Unfortunately, nobody ever sees it...because Bob always eats alone.
-->'''Chris:''' See how those noodles wrap around that fork? That's what I want to do with my arms around Bob, 'cause he needs a hug.
* Ted's comment on the Touch 'n' Brush in Inventions 12:
-->'''Ted:''' It's a great way to help spread the flu to your entire family.
-->'''Ted:''' Unfortunately, nobody ever sees it...because Bob always eats alone.
-->'''Chris:''' See how those noodles wrap around that fork? That's what I want to do with my arms around Bob, 'cause he needs a hug.
* Ted's comment on the Touch 'n' Brush in Inventions 12:
-->'''Ted:''' It's a great way to help spread the flu to your entire family.
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* From Motorheads 8, after the clip from Russia of the jeep crashing backwards into a car:
-->'''Billy:''' Sometimes, uh, my family, we like to have what we call a "Russian picnic." We take a picnic hamper, and we fill it up with some sausages and eight bottles of vodka, and then we go out in the woods and we destroy a car -- what we call a "Russian picnic."
-->'''Billy:''' Sometimes, uh, my family, we like to have what we call a "Russian picnic." We take a picnic hamper, and we fill it up with some sausages and eight bottles of vodka, and then we go out in the woods and we destroy a car -- what we call a "Russian picnic."
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[[folder:Show-Off (Even more things you're better off not doing)]]
* "Ladies and gentlemen, the 2048 Republican nominee for president of the United States: Richie McDickface."
* The clip of the dancer named Onyx paying tribute to a recently deceased person at a funeral.
* "Ladies and gentlemen, the 2048 Republican nominee for president of the United States: Richie McDickface."
* The clip of the dancer named Onyx paying tribute to a recently deceased person at a funeral.
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Changed line(s) 270 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nick:''' What kind of work she was coming home from that she has to wear skin-tight short shorts? Was she in a ''{{Playboy}}'' shoot?
to:
-->'''Nick:''' What kind of work she was coming home from that she has to wear skin-tight short shorts? Was she in a ''{{Playboy}}'' ''Magazine/{{Playboy}}'' shoot?
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Changed line(s) 85 (click to see context) from:
to:
* One of the criminals featured was literally just a bird that walked into a store, snatched some chips and flew away. Pretty much everyone agrees that the bird was the smartest criminal featured on the show, and the sad thing is, they're probably right.
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Changed line(s) 320 (click to see context) from:
('''Judy flips Brad off'')\\
to:
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Changed line(s) 118,119 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Hillbilly:''' Ever hear the one about the bush that walked into the barbershop? He told the barber [[IncrediblyLamePun just take a little of the hedge]].
-->'''Kevin:''' And it only took him a year to come up with that joke. He could write for Tonya.
-->'''Kevin:''' And it only took him a year to come up with that joke. He could write for Tonya.
to:
-->'''Kevin:'''
'''Kevin:''' And it only took him a whole year to come up with that joke.
Changed line(s) 172 (click to see context) from:
* The inventor of FabriCan (spray-on fabric) is invited to the show to spray Mike T. and Brad; he only manages to spray fabric on the front of their torsos.
to:
* The inventor of FabriCan [=FabriCan=] (spray-on fabric) is invited to the show to spray Mike T. and Brad; he only manages to spray fabric on the front of their torsos.
Changed line(s) 248,249 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mike T.''': Spoiler alert! It's his penis!
** Which actually outdates the famous line from NewGirl (Performers 10 premiered in November 2011, the NewGirl episode three months later).
** Which actually outdates the famous line from NewGirl (Performers 10 premiered in November 2011, the NewGirl episode three months later).
to:
-->'''Mike T.''': Spoiler alert! It's alert: it's his penis!
** Which actually outdates the famous line fromNewGirl ''Series/NewGirl'' (Performers 10 premiered in November 2011, the NewGirl ''Series/NewGirl'' episode three months later).
** Which actually outdates the famous line from
Changed line(s) 260 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mike Trainor:''' Of course the house with the above ground pool and the giant trampoline has a spare gorilla suit lying around.\\
to:
-->'''Mike Trainor:''' Of course ''Of course'' the house with the above ground pool and the giant trampoline has a spare gorilla suit lying around.\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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Added DiffLines:
This show [[CaptainObvious obviously]] shows clips of people failing at something, and those shows can really have some funny moments, whether it be the clips themselves or the commentators. The folders below have descriptions added.
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[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Brawlers (Here's a fight. Repeat 19 times. Roll credits. Repeat first three steps way too many times.)]]
* The whole animated parody of Danny Bonaduce's infamous transvestite hooker incident.
-->'''Danny:''' So I take off, I beat the cops to my house, I run upstairs and say, 'What'll I do, what'll I do? I know, I'll dive in the closet, and pull dirty clothes over me!'
* The entire "Nodding Turtles" clip, made all the more hilarious with the voice-over dub, having the turtles chant, "Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!" as they nod at one another.
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' a arguement!
* A clip some guys shot at a duck pond of a white duck and a black duck attacking each other.
-->'''Daniel Baldwin:''' It was only a matter of time before Donald and Daffy's professional relationship came to blows.
** Nick seems to be a little leery of the clip from the start:
-->'''Nick:''' You're runnin' through a park scarin' ducks? Why don't you try somethin', like, I don't know, maybe girls? Sports?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Competitions (Things you're better off not doing)]]
* Daniel Baldwin and John Enos running out into traffic while wearing sumo suits. Comedy gold.
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, like a schoolchild, at a French Game show. [[AllMenArePerverts A french game show that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
* A clip from England of -- a ''snail race''.
** Judy offers up her alternative:
-->'''Judy:''' Okay, you can start the snail race, go out to dinner, see a movie, come back, and the snail's in the same fucking place as it was when it started.
** At one point, a pair of snails stop racing and start mating with each other.
-->'''Loni:''' Uh, those two don't look like they're racing, they look like they gettin' it on.
-->'''Mike T.:''' That's always fun when you have to explain things to your kids, like, "Why are the snails hurting each other, Daddy?" "Ugh, oh God, this is gonna be a long car ride home."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Confrontations (Brawlers Lite)]]
* A clip about fainting goats. One goat herder is interviewed, talking about scaring goats into stiffness doesn't hurt or bother them a bit.
-->'''Chuck:''' How do ''you'' know that doesn't bother that animal?
-->'''Brad:''' (Mocking tone) I bet that makes you feel like a may-yan, doesn't it? "I scared the ''crap'' outta that goat!"
** And the cast's reaction upon learning that are actual international fainting goat competitions, and officials need to have photographic proof of the goat fallen over in ordered to be registered.
-->'''Roger:''' Wait just one minute, there's actually an International Fainting Goat Association?
-->'''Kevin:''' Who is defrauding the goat-fainting community with goats that don't faint? Whoever it is is a sick son of a bitch!
* A clip of a drunk driver who has been arrested and taken to the police station to be read his rights. He's so upset that he starts bawling for his lawyer, and even goes a step further:
-->'''Nick:''' He just throws himself down on the floor like a three-year-old in Walmart who didn't get his toy!
-->'''Michael:''' When the police have you, and the evidence is mounting up, and they didn't give you a test, and you don't have a lawyer, there's only one thing you can do. Fall on the floor and cry like a little bitch. Nailed it.
-->'''Daniel:''' At that stage in the game, if your lawyer can bail you out of that situation, I want that fuckin' lawyer!
* A clip of a videographer who gets peed on by a tiger, of which a zoo employee remarks, "You're gonna smell like popcorn for the rest of the day!"
-->'''Brad:''' Tiger urine smells like popcorn?!
-->'''Kevin:''' Now I'll never be able to eat popcorn again. Thanks.
* A middle-aged English lady who was jilted by her fiancee on their wedding day has a new soulmate in the form of a full-grown sow named Rachel. She sleeps with it, eats with it, snuggles it, plays with it, and so much more that Judy suggests they be given their own sitcom.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Criminals (Pretty much the main reason truTV created this show)]]
* A couple of thieves steal a bait car.
--->'''Passenger:''' We own this city!
--->'''Driver:''' Where are we?
--->'''Passenger:''' I don't know.
** Micheal's comment really sells it.
--->'''Micheal:''' "We own this city!" "Where are we?" "I don't know." You can't write that!
* The entire clip involving a man attempting to shoplift a pack of razors from a grocery store.
** Nick, Jaime, and Mike T. on the man constantly eyeballing the security cameras:
-->'''Nick:''' Could he have made himself look even ''more'' suspicious?!
-->'''Jaime:''' You're not ''really'' paranoid if they're ''really'' watching you...
-->'''Mike T.:''' (As the shoplifter) Whaddya lookin' at me for? You keep lookin' at me, fine, I'm gonna keep lookin' at ''you'', camera!
** Kevin on the man continuously pacing nervously throughout the store, and fumbling with his other (legit) purchases:
-->'''Kevin:''' This guy is either a shoplifter, or participating in the most emotionally conflicting razor purchase ever.
** Todd, playing the role of the man's conscience as he goes through checkout, pondering on going through with his shoplifting:
-->'''Todd as an angel:''' Now, now, you know you don't want to rob the store.
-->'''Todd as a devil:''' You don't know what you're talking about! Rob the place! ''Rob the place!''
** Finally, Kevin's comments on the man being apprehended by security, and actually looks visibly distraught as he sits in the security office:
-->'''Kevin:''' This should have been an intervention; "Dude? Seriously? You are ''terrible'' at stealing stuff. You ''have'' to stop."
* '''Leif:''' Small penis alert! Small penis alert!
* '''Tonya:''' If it looks like a bunny, and it hops like a bunny, ''THEN IT MUST BE A BUNNY!!!''
* Tom, in response to a clip of a herd of cattle that escaped from a rodeo and stampedes into a conveniece store:
-->'''Tom:''' Cows are good at being food, they're not very good at anything else.
* The entire "Slip and Fail," clip, including the commentary...
** An elderly lady and her caretaker are in a cosmetics aisle at a department store, the old lady finds spilled nail polish on the floor, and gets down, acting as if she had fallen, while her caretaker goes for help.
-->'''Daisy:''' Phew! Thank God she was able to break her fall [[CaptainObvious by getting down on her hands and knees very slowly.]]
-->'''Kevin:''' Someone help! My friend is... uh... taking a nap!
** Afterwards, three store employees race to the lady's aid.
-->'''Danny:''' Those are the three fastest-moving people in ''all'' of Florida!
** Spectators start to gather around, including one woman scooting along in a motorized cart...
-->'''Ted:''' What's the woman in the motorized cart going to do for the woman on the floor? Gloat?
** ... who then gets up and walks over to the lady on the floor.
-->'''Mike T.:''' There's a lot of weird stuff goin' on in this aisle, you got healthy people falling down, people in carts rising to their feet, it's like the Bermuda Triangle over there!
** Paramedics arrive with a gurney and take the lady to the hospital, while she plans to sue the store, until insurance investigators check surveillence footage.
-->'''Jaime:''' (As lawyer) We've received your claim, and '''''BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'''''
** Brad's closing remarks:
-->'''Brad:''' I don't remember this episode of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls''... it's [[DarkerAndEdgier a little dark...]]
* The re-enactment of Leif's 2010 drug arrest (which Leif himself even participates in), in which he was found with black tar heroin in his possession.
-->'''Loni:''' ''Black tar''?! (Wails) '''''WHY, LEIF, WHYYYY?!! OHH LOOORRRRD!!!'''''
-->'''Judy:''' When I was little, I had Leif's picture all over my wall, and now I have pictures of Leif's mugshot all over my wall... I love you, Leif.
-->'''Chelsea:''' Leif? I think that, yes, you should give up heroin, it would probably be in your best interest, but more importantly? Time to put the skateboard down.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Daredevils (Like Criminals, but with pain instead of crime)]]
* Mike Trainor imitating a skateboarder checking on his groin after (in the skateboarder's own words) "blowing his nut":
-->'''Mike T.''': (counting his testicles) One... and a half... OH, GOD!
* The entire "Ghost Bike" sequence from Daredevils 10.
* "What'd I tell you about testicles?!"
-->'''Mike T.''': What conversation ''were'' you having about testicles? Was it related to ''this'', or were you just talking about balls in general, like, 'Hey, you know what ''I'' like about balls?'
* Gary Busey proving to us why he's every inch a CloudCuckoolander:
-->'''Gary:''' The thing about Tigger--
-->'''Producer:''' (Correcting him) Trigger
-->'''Gary:''' is... Tigger believes in love... and he believes in Winnie the Pooh.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Drivers (The other main reason truTV created this show)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Drivers":
-->'''Loni''': Hello, this is the, uh, fire department. We done crashed into the fire department, so can somebody send the [[RuleOfThree Fire Department?]]
* Chuck Nice, on a man whose car was hit by a runaway truck tire:
-->'''Chuck''': You don't know when you're riding down the street, when the Michelin Man just might show up and bitch slap you!
* Brad Loekle on a driver who failed to get away from police in his Yugo:
-->'''Brad''': You'd have better luck driving a hot pocket down the road than a Yugo!
* Frank Stallone narrating a montage of ''numerous'' car accidents in Russia.
* A TV camera crew is driving on their way back from a report, and the men discuss which they would rather do without: their penises, or their balls.
-->'''Loni:''' Is ''this'' what guys talk about when they together?! ''Y'all nasty!!!''
-->'''Michael:''' This makes me embarrassed to be a dude!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hillbillies (Not Quite Dummies)]]
* The pudgy, bald-headed, goatee-wearing hillbilly who likes to trim his hedge by swinging his chainsaw around in the air.
-->'''Loni:''' I like him! He cute! Look at him!
** Then of course, the guy's little joke about bushes, so stupid it's funny:
-->'''Hillbilly:''' Ever hear the one about the bush that walked into the barbershop? He told the barber [[IncrediblyLamePun just take a little of the hedge]].
-->'''Kevin:''' And it only took him a year to come up with that joke. He could write for Tonya.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Holidays (Or, more specifically, the dumb things that happen on holidays)]]
* An officer pulls over a drunk driver, dressed in a crappy zombie costume for Halloween.
-->'''Officer:''' Are you bleeding?
-->'''Drunk:''' It's Halloween stuff.
-->'''Officer:''' Oh, Halloween stuff. What are you dressed as?
-->'''Drunk:''' A dead guy.
-->'''Officer:''' A gay guy, okay.
-->'''Drunk:''' No, a ''dead'' guy.
* In a clip of a family gathering at Christmastime, a grown man and his elderly mother try their hand - or rather, feet - at ''VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution''. When the son takes his turn, his mother (who apparently is better than him) starts mocking and taunting him. He actually ''shoves his mother down to the floor with one hand, and without even breaking away from the game''.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Inventions (Technically, it's "World's Smartest Inventions", but we'll take it anyway)]]
* Jaime Andrews on "The Drib".
-->'''Jaime''': "The Drib"? Well, I guess "Pig In A Blanket" was already taken.
* The HypocriticalHumor on Ace Power.
-->'''Mike T.''': Man, that workout equipment sure looks stupid. Now, where was I? ''(starts using the Shake Weight)''
* The "Man Bib" invention, meant to help guys, shall we say, [[ADateWithRosiePalms cleanup]]. ''None'' of the commentators can believe it.
-->'''Loni:''' ''[cracking up]'' Y'all so nasty! Y'all so nasty...
* Mike Britt, in response to an elderly gentleman's comments about Bowser Beer being made in America, and having U.S.D.A.-approved ingredients.
-->'''Mike B.:''': We get it grandpa! Stars and stripes! Red, white, and blue! Got it! It's dog beer, dude!
* Mike Trainor, offering us his alternative to Flying Pasties (works especially well for BigGuys):
-->'''Mike T:''' Whenever I have to go through the scanner at the airport, I just tuck my junk in between my legs... does nothing for my security, but it gives them something to talk about.
* The casts' reactions to Squishy Baff, that turns your bath water into a squishy goo.
-->'''Kevin:''' "You can turn water into a squishy goo"? Do we have to?
-->'''Chuck:''' Squishy ''Baff''! First of all, ''thank you'' for making me feel culturally comfortable about myself!
-->'''Gary:''' It's stupid to goo yourself from finding your own pleasure points. Need I say more? Need I say more?
* The Sip N Dip Cookie Dipper, that allows you to dunk your cookie into your milk, without spilling milk or messing your fingers; the inventor says it's for all your favorite cookies, but it's clearly created with small cookies like Oreos or girl scout cookies in mind. Jared Logan wants to dunk his favorite cookie - a black-and-white cookie - but sees it won't fit. [[AsideGlance He stares at the camera with a look of horror]].
-->'''Kevin:''' Finally we're now to a point where our inventors are ''inventing problems'' to invent inventions for.
** Brad pointing out the [[FunnyForeigner inventor's]] [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent accent]].
-->'''Inventor:''' After watching my 2-year-old niece try and have ''milk and cookie''[...]
-->'''Brad''': "Milk and cookie"? What, did she only get one cookie?
* Michael Loftus's reaction to an American-made invention that allows you to slip your hand into a small cubical pillow thing to let you rest your head for a quick nap.
-->'''Michael:''' I remember when we used to do cool shit like go to the moon, and now we're like, ''"We made a block of foam! And put cover on it!! U.S.A.!!! U.S.A.!!!"''
* My Best Friend's Fork, a special fork invented by a woman named Val Arnold, who likes to feed her dogs from a fork; the BFF is designed with a looped handle and rounded edges for the dog's safety, and she also notes the fork's decorations:
-->'''Val:''' I have a pink rhinestone for girls, a blue rhinestone for boys, and a diamond.
-->'''Brad:''' So what's the diamond for? Tranny dogs?
* From the [=HatCam=] segment, we see the [=HatCam=] footage of different cast members, including Brendan (on his first day) and Leif encountering each other.
-->'''Brendan:''' Are you the new guy?
-->'''Leif:''' ''I'm'' the new guy? ''You're'' the new guy.
-->'''Brendan:''' Ah, dude... I've been doing this--
-->'''Leif:''' Excuse me, bro... come on, I've been here since Season 1.
-->'''Brendan:''' Oh.
-->'''Leif:''' How about you?
-->'''Brendan:''' I've been here since 9:00.
-->'''Leif:''' Oh, congratulations! Welcome.
* The Ms. Taken ring: essentially, a fake wedding ring for women to drive away perverts that are hitting on them.
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin' 2-karet Australian crystal--
-->'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?! Uh-uh!
* Ted on the Happy Hotdog Man:
-->[[http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k290/snowthbo/childhoodobesity_zps54ea6cfc.jpg Look, let's face it, eating is a drag for kids, that's why only 90% of them are obese]].
* The inventor of FabriCan (spray-on fabric) is invited to the show to spray Mike T. and Brad; he only manages to spray fabric on the front of their torsos.
-->'''Inventor:''' You know, I get invited here in New York to spray two gorgeous model, and here, what I'm having is I'm having [[ThoseTwoGuys these two guys]], and--
-->'''Mike T.:''' Yeah, well, I'm not fuckin' thrilled about this either, so why don't we just--
-->'''Brad:''' (walks in) What did you say?! (To Mike T.) Hold on a sec, (To inventor) did you just call me ''fat?!''
* Kevin's reaction to a contraption to strap around a dog's genitals to "prevent accidental mating."
-->'''Kevin:''' Dude, '''''how slutty is your dog?!'''''
* Brad's reaction to a funnel made for even distribution of butter on movie popcorn:
-->'''Brad:''' So in the time it took to invent this, I'm assuming we've cured cancer, stopped global warmning, and now have flying cars?
* Former MLB player, Mark Litell, endorsing the Nutty Buddy:
-->'''Mark Litell:''' Hi, I'm Mark Litell, I've been in the game a long time, ever since I was eighteen-years-old; I think I'm over fifty now...
-->'''Jaime:''' You ''think'' you're in your fifties? Maybe you should be more worried about protecting your head.
* Mike Trainor's reaction to [[OfCorsetsFunny the Slim-T]] from Inventions 4.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Problem solved! I was gonna stop having ice cream for lunch, but this is much easier!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lovers (Televisual showcase of LoveMakesYouDoStupidThings)]]
* The fact that this show took a swipe at Farmers Only Dot Com (the dating website specifically for farmers and plain ol' country folk) should be enough to earn it an Emmy.
-->'''Website tagline:''' City folks just don't get it.
-->'''Frankie:''' Yeah. We don't fuck sheep. That's why we don't get it.
* The masturbating turtle. 'Nuff said.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Motorheads (Drivers 2.0)]]
* Mike Trainor in response to a drunken Russian crashing a bulldozer through a parking lot, and the owners of the wrecked take turns beating him up (and at one point, pull up his shirt and smack him):
-->'''Mike T.''': His shirt's up! Everybody give him a pink belly! ''(Starts smacking Brad Loekle's belly)'' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ''(Serious tone)'' Seriously dude, we're really mad at you.
* We see a tractor in a Walmart parking lot in Ontario, with no driver inside, which the cast turns into an episode of Scooby Doo, with Brendan Walsh playing Shaggy, and Michael Loftus playing Scooby Doo (also [[ThoseTwoGuys Mike Trainor and Brad Loekle]] are a pair of [[PoliceAreUseless fraidy-cat cops]]).
-->'''Brendan as Shaggy:''' We figured out the ghost tractor was none other than Old Man Ted Jessup!
-->'''Ted:''' (Wearing a hoodie) And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddlin' grown men pretending to be cartoon characters!
-->'''Michael as Scooby:''' Rooby-rooby-doo!
* The opening skit of one episode, where Brendan invokes both StalkerWithACrush and AttentionDeficitOohShiny, as he hops into his slick black car and speeds off for taping.
-->'''Brendan:''' (Fumbling with his phone) ''[[StalkerWithACrush When the hell will Tonya Harding text me back?!]]'' [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey look, a Twix!]]
-->''Brendan reaches for the Twix bar, driving his now-beatup-looking yellow car off a cliff.''
-->'''Brendan:''' Ohhhhhhhhhh the iiironyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....
-->''Fiery crash''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Outlaws (Criminals 2.0)]]
* Mike Trainor, on a clip featuring a man who robbed a hotel that was hosting a mixed martial-arts fighters convention:
--> '''Mike T''': Whenever you go to rob a hotel, check the little sign when you come in, make sure it doesn't say "Welcome, ass-kicking champs."
* Mike T. on a clip in Equador of a man wearing sunglasses walking by and ignoring two school girls being attacked by random man.
-->'''Mike T''': Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice two girls being assaulted, I was busy looking ''cool''.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Partiers (Originally just drunk drivers, then upgraded to include parties, now mainly drunk drivers again)]]
* From a clip of a guy testing his own homemade pepper spray, and he starts flipping and flopping around in the bathtub, screaming like a little girl.
-->'''Guy:''' I'VE NEVER BEEN IN PAIN! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
-->'''Camera Guy:''' Dude, open your eyes.
-->'''Guy:''' I CAN'T, THEY'RE CLOSED!
* From a clip where a group of drunken teenagers are pulled over by the police for stealing a bait car.
-->'''Passenger:''' We shouldn't have done this dawg, this was stupid as fuck!
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I love you guys.
-->'''Others:''' We love you too dawg.
-->'''Brad:''' You guys don't have to say your goodbyes like its ''Film/ThelmaAndLouise'', you're just getting arrested...
* Pretty much any of the cast's response to clips where someone is eventually knocked unconscious.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Quick! Everybody do everything that you're ''not'' supposed to do with an unconscious person! You move her, you hump her, you pour water on her!
-->'''Chelsea:''' You've been hit by a bus... ''lie down''...
-->'''Jaime:''' He's out, quick, everybody crowd around him!
* In a clip of women reggae dancing, one girl whips her head around so much, he wig flies off and lands on the ground.
-->'''Mike T.:''' EVERYBODY RUN! IT'S A GIANT TARANTULA!
* Mike Trainor playing the part of a Giants fan, who was arrested while behaving erratically at a celebration party.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Can you imagine how that guy's gonna explain this to his girlfriend? "So, how'd you get arrested?", "Well the Giants won the Super Bowl, ''dot-dot-dot'', just come pick me up!"
* Tonya watching a clip of monkeys irritated at a drunk man invading their pin in a zoo.
-->'''Tonya:''' Monkeys are ''so cool''... especially the ones with the ''big asses'' that stick out, I mean, huurrrrr...
* From a clip of an incredibly drunk man being forced from a bar, while he pulls down his pants and yells at various different people to fuck him.
-->'''Daniel:''' "Get back here before I pull my pants up" has got to be one of the least effective threats I have ever heard.
* Kevin [=McCaffrey=]'s response to a woman being given a sobriety test, who remarks, "I'm Irish, I'm hot-blooded!"
-->'''Kevin:''' If you want to convince a cop that you're ''not'' drunk, saying that you're Irish is probably not the best way to do it. That's like trying to get out of a drug charge by saying, "Hey, I'm Andy Dick!"
* An athlete celebrates by drinking way too much Vodka. Loni tries to figure out his speech.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speak Vodka?
* A tailgating party where an elderly lady is actually getting her groove on, and even drawing attention from other younger people attending the party... and then a guy just walks by right in front of the camera.
-->'''Mike T:''' I like that one dude who just walks through full speed; "Do-da-loo-do-do! Nothin' weird here!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Performers (The Hollywood side of World's Dumbest)]]
* John Enos and Loni Love "playing" with the love chair at the end of ''World's Dumbest Performers 8.''
* This line while the cast is watching an adult movie in ''Performers 10''.
-->'''Mike T.''': Spoiler alert! It's his penis!
** Which actually outdates the famous line from NewGirl (Performers 10 premiered in November 2011, the NewGirl episode three months later).
* Mike T. dressed in a full-bodied ''Videogame/PacMan'' costume with a mouth that works like a puppet. Look out, [[Creator/SidAndMartyKrofftProductions Sid & Marty Krofft]]!
* From Gil's rap video:
-->'''Gil:''' After I steal yo hoe, I will kill yo hoe, raise her from the dead, count up all my bread...
-->'''Brendan Walsh:''' So lemme get this straight... you're gonna steal my hoe... ''kill'' her... then bring her back to life... ''YOU WANNA BANG MY ZOMBIE GIRLFRIEND, GIL?!''
* In a clip from Indonesia, featuring [[PeopleInRubberSuits two men in a giant dragon costume puppet]] preparing to leap across a series of poles with platforms.
-->'''Ted Jessup:''' Mr. Dragon? I'm representing [[Series/SesameStreet Mr. Snuffleupagus]], he's suing you for infringement.
* From the black bear newscast of "World's Dumbest Performers 12":
-->'''Kevin:''' You know, some days the news should just show up and say, "Sorry, we got nothin'," and put on a ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' rerun.
* Also from "World's Dumbest Performers 12", the Japanese commercial featuring a young [[spoiler:Leif Garrett]]. That is all.
* The entire commentary about the Easter Gorilla from "Performers 10".
-->'''Mike Trainor:''' Of course the house with the above ground pool and the giant trampoline has a spare gorilla suit lying around.\\
'''Brad Loekle:''' I know one little girl who will be converting to Judaism.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Pranksters (People doing stupid pranks you shouldn't do)]]
* "A little bit of water? On my shirt? I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!"
* Nick [=DiPaolo=] playing Jimmy Hoffa.
* Reactions in two different clips that feature attractive young girls:
** The first has a guy pulling a prank on his girlfriend by pulling a small toy clown on a tricycle with fishing line when she returns home from work (as she's terrified of clowns); when she returns home:
-->'''Nick:''' What kind of work she was coming home from that she has to wear skin-tight short shorts? Was she in a ''{{Playboy}}'' shoot?
*** Even funnier was that she was so terrified, she dashed out the door, back into her car, and took off in two seconds flat.
** In the other clip, a girl paints clown makeup on her face and hides in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dumo creepy-crawlies on her; she panicks, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
-->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
* "CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE! CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE! CRACK-A-LACK-A-LACK-A-LACK-A, CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE!"
-->'''Brad:''' I ''really'' need to get off cable.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Record Breakers (More things you're better off not doing)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Record Breakers 3", one clip shows us a woman trying to break a record at blowing into a hot water bottle, until it bursts - various different commentators try it themselves, to no success.
-->'''Brad:''' You have to blow harder than Tonya Harding's jokes to pop that!
-->'''Tonya:''' (Mumbling) Can you imagine if Leif put his mouth on that thing, and then I did, and it'd be like we were makin' out.
-->'''Brad:''' Can ''anybody'' understand a word this motherfucker says?
* From "World's Dumbest Record Breakers 6", we see a clip of a morbidly obese woman named Donna, who is trying to get into the record books by being the world's heaviest woman, and is currently working her way to weigh 1,000 pounds.
-->'''Donna:''' I wouldn't mind being a thousand pounds. The bigger you are, the sexier you are.
-->'''Mike T:''' Who told you that?! Was it a plate of bacon? Because that was a lie!
* After we watch a clip of Tonya breaking a record by driving her 1931 Ford Model A at 97 mph, then finishing the day by posing for photos in a black-and-white checkered bikini...
-->'''Billy:''' I didn't know we could bring our own home vidoes on this show, because I've got one of my daughter sitting on the potty.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Thrillseekers (Daredevils Lite)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Thrillseekers 6", the clip in question showing a pair of motorcyclists performing stunts:
--> '''Voice Over Announcer''': Now the event you have all been waiting for! The most amazing motorcycle trick ever done by two guys at one time! ''(bike crashes into an oncoming car)'' DAMNIT!
* The "What the fuck?" look on Frankie's face when Daniel imitates him and his trademark Russian-bashing monologuing.
* A thrillseeker has himself knocked into a large pile of empty cardboard boxes by jumping into the path of a speeding truck with mattresses strapped to the grill.
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah, I'm actually moving, and I collected those boxes from three different liquor stores, so unless you guys wanns help me move... yeah, that's what I thought.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Others (Any episode with less than 2 sequels)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Shoppers:
-->'''Judy Gold''': "I'm gonna go get, a $50 piece of shit computer!"
** From the same clip, a distraught woman claims to be injured and almost killed, and repeatedly yells for somebody to call her an, "Ambalance".
-->'''Jo:''' It's not an ambalance, it's an ambulance. The answer is no, an ambalance is not on its way, because those don't exist.
* One clip shows the chaos that followed the release of CabbagePatchKids, one little girl with feathery blonde hair apparently had a doll snatched out of her hands and is crying over it, while another lady vents her anger about the entire situation.
-->'''Godfrey:''' I don't think that was a little girl, I think was Leif Garrett when he was really young.\\
(''cut to an insert of a photo Leif from the 70s compared to a still shot of the crying girl'')
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was digusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder: HilariousOuttakes (The mistakes, goofs, or other behind-the-scenes nuggets we're treated to)]]
* In the "Criminals" episode that featured the above-mentioned re-enactment of Leif's 2010 drug arrest, the incident was re-enacted ''again'' during the closing credits, this time with John playing Leif and Todd playing the arresting officer.
* During the credits of one episode, Judy walks in on Nick's commentary.
-->'''Nick:''' Whoa! Look at this -- a 6'8'' Jew!\\
'''Judy:''' What's up?\\
'''Nick:''' Aw, you know what's up, look at us.\\
'''Judy:''' I know, it's pathetic, isn't it?\\
'''Nick:''' I'm doin' this till they give me my own show on truTV. What is this? Is she gonna watch me?\\
'''Judy:''' I gotta put my fuckin' makeup on!\\
'''Nick:''' Well, why don't you just do it in the fuckin' men's room?
* Another time, Judy walks in on Brad's commentary.
-->'''Brad:''' Oh! It's Jewbacca! Hey, Jewbacca!\\
('''Judy flips Brad off'')\\
'''Brad:''' Did you shave before you put your makeup on so you don't look like me?\\
'''Judy:''' Can't you be fuckin' nice to me and save it for the camera?
* During the credits of a "Pranksters" episode, the producers secretly give some of the castmembers a pen that shocks when click for them to write notes on. Judy is angered, Roger is slightly amused, Jaime freaks out, and Todd acts like he's going into cardiac arrest - "Gimme a pacemaker, dude!"
* The entire sequence from "World's Dumbest Holidays", in which the cast attempts to sing an altered rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas", which includes many line flubs, numerous wrong notes, and pitiful attempts at singing.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Unsorted (If anyone knows where these scenes come from, place them in their proper position and include the title)]]
* "Of all the bum luck! First I sleep through my alarm clock-- now my arm's pointing the wrong way! Aw, dang, this just isn't my day."
* John dressed as Jesus Christ.
-->'''John:''' Whose fucking name do I say when somebody pisses ''me'' off?!
[[/folder]]
----
-----
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Brawlers (Here's a fight. Repeat 19 times. Roll credits. Repeat first three steps way too many times.)]]
* The whole animated parody of Danny Bonaduce's infamous transvestite hooker incident.
-->'''Danny:''' So I take off, I beat the cops to my house, I run upstairs and say, 'What'll I do, what'll I do? I know, I'll dive in the closet, and pull dirty clothes over me!'
* The entire "Nodding Turtles" clip, made all the more hilarious with the voice-over dub, having the turtles chant, "Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!" as they nod at one another.
-->'''Chuck:''' They look like two black schoolgirls havin' a arguement!
* A clip some guys shot at a duck pond of a white duck and a black duck attacking each other.
-->'''Daniel Baldwin:''' It was only a matter of time before Donald and Daffy's professional relationship came to blows.
** Nick seems to be a little leery of the clip from the start:
-->'''Nick:''' You're runnin' through a park scarin' ducks? Why don't you try somethin', like, I don't know, maybe girls? Sports?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Competitions (Things you're better off not doing)]]
* Daniel Baldwin and John Enos running out into traffic while wearing sumo suits. Comedy gold.
* Chuck Nice giggling and clapping his hand, like a schoolchild, at a French Game show. [[AllMenArePerverts A french game show that involved busty women in low cut tops crawling over a pipe.]]
* A clip from England of -- a ''snail race''.
** Judy offers up her alternative:
-->'''Judy:''' Okay, you can start the snail race, go out to dinner, see a movie, come back, and the snail's in the same fucking place as it was when it started.
** At one point, a pair of snails stop racing and start mating with each other.
-->'''Loni:''' Uh, those two don't look like they're racing, they look like they gettin' it on.
-->'''Mike T.:''' That's always fun when you have to explain things to your kids, like, "Why are the snails hurting each other, Daddy?" "Ugh, oh God, this is gonna be a long car ride home."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Confrontations (Brawlers Lite)]]
* A clip about fainting goats. One goat herder is interviewed, talking about scaring goats into stiffness doesn't hurt or bother them a bit.
-->'''Chuck:''' How do ''you'' know that doesn't bother that animal?
-->'''Brad:''' (Mocking tone) I bet that makes you feel like a may-yan, doesn't it? "I scared the ''crap'' outta that goat!"
** And the cast's reaction upon learning that are actual international fainting goat competitions, and officials need to have photographic proof of the goat fallen over in ordered to be registered.
-->'''Roger:''' Wait just one minute, there's actually an International Fainting Goat Association?
-->'''Kevin:''' Who is defrauding the goat-fainting community with goats that don't faint? Whoever it is is a sick son of a bitch!
* A clip of a drunk driver who has been arrested and taken to the police station to be read his rights. He's so upset that he starts bawling for his lawyer, and even goes a step further:
-->'''Nick:''' He just throws himself down on the floor like a three-year-old in Walmart who didn't get his toy!
-->'''Michael:''' When the police have you, and the evidence is mounting up, and they didn't give you a test, and you don't have a lawyer, there's only one thing you can do. Fall on the floor and cry like a little bitch. Nailed it.
-->'''Daniel:''' At that stage in the game, if your lawyer can bail you out of that situation, I want that fuckin' lawyer!
* A clip of a videographer who gets peed on by a tiger, of which a zoo employee remarks, "You're gonna smell like popcorn for the rest of the day!"
-->'''Brad:''' Tiger urine smells like popcorn?!
-->'''Kevin:''' Now I'll never be able to eat popcorn again. Thanks.
* A middle-aged English lady who was jilted by her fiancee on their wedding day has a new soulmate in the form of a full-grown sow named Rachel. She sleeps with it, eats with it, snuggles it, plays with it, and so much more that Judy suggests they be given their own sitcom.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Criminals (Pretty much the main reason truTV created this show)]]
* A couple of thieves steal a bait car.
--->'''Passenger:''' We own this city!
--->'''Driver:''' Where are we?
--->'''Passenger:''' I don't know.
** Micheal's comment really sells it.
--->'''Micheal:''' "We own this city!" "Where are we?" "I don't know." You can't write that!
* The entire clip involving a man attempting to shoplift a pack of razors from a grocery store.
** Nick, Jaime, and Mike T. on the man constantly eyeballing the security cameras:
-->'''Nick:''' Could he have made himself look even ''more'' suspicious?!
-->'''Jaime:''' You're not ''really'' paranoid if they're ''really'' watching you...
-->'''Mike T.:''' (As the shoplifter) Whaddya lookin' at me for? You keep lookin' at me, fine, I'm gonna keep lookin' at ''you'', camera!
** Kevin on the man continuously pacing nervously throughout the store, and fumbling with his other (legit) purchases:
-->'''Kevin:''' This guy is either a shoplifter, or participating in the most emotionally conflicting razor purchase ever.
** Todd, playing the role of the man's conscience as he goes through checkout, pondering on going through with his shoplifting:
-->'''Todd as an angel:''' Now, now, you know you don't want to rob the store.
-->'''Todd as a devil:''' You don't know what you're talking about! Rob the place! ''Rob the place!''
** Finally, Kevin's comments on the man being apprehended by security, and actually looks visibly distraught as he sits in the security office:
-->'''Kevin:''' This should have been an intervention; "Dude? Seriously? You are ''terrible'' at stealing stuff. You ''have'' to stop."
* '''Leif:''' Small penis alert! Small penis alert!
* '''Tonya:''' If it looks like a bunny, and it hops like a bunny, ''THEN IT MUST BE A BUNNY!!!''
* Tom, in response to a clip of a herd of cattle that escaped from a rodeo and stampedes into a conveniece store:
-->'''Tom:''' Cows are good at being food, they're not very good at anything else.
* The entire "Slip and Fail," clip, including the commentary...
** An elderly lady and her caretaker are in a cosmetics aisle at a department store, the old lady finds spilled nail polish on the floor, and gets down, acting as if she had fallen, while her caretaker goes for help.
-->'''Daisy:''' Phew! Thank God she was able to break her fall [[CaptainObvious by getting down on her hands and knees very slowly.]]
-->'''Kevin:''' Someone help! My friend is... uh... taking a nap!
** Afterwards, three store employees race to the lady's aid.
-->'''Danny:''' Those are the three fastest-moving people in ''all'' of Florida!
** Spectators start to gather around, including one woman scooting along in a motorized cart...
-->'''Ted:''' What's the woman in the motorized cart going to do for the woman on the floor? Gloat?
** ... who then gets up and walks over to the lady on the floor.
-->'''Mike T.:''' There's a lot of weird stuff goin' on in this aisle, you got healthy people falling down, people in carts rising to their feet, it's like the Bermuda Triangle over there!
** Paramedics arrive with a gurney and take the lady to the hospital, while she plans to sue the store, until insurance investigators check surveillence footage.
-->'''Jaime:''' (As lawyer) We've received your claim, and '''''BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'''''
** Brad's closing remarks:
-->'''Brad:''' I don't remember this episode of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls''... it's [[DarkerAndEdgier a little dark...]]
* The re-enactment of Leif's 2010 drug arrest (which Leif himself even participates in), in which he was found with black tar heroin in his possession.
-->'''Loni:''' ''Black tar''?! (Wails) '''''WHY, LEIF, WHYYYY?!! OHH LOOORRRRD!!!'''''
-->'''Judy:''' When I was little, I had Leif's picture all over my wall, and now I have pictures of Leif's mugshot all over my wall... I love you, Leif.
-->'''Chelsea:''' Leif? I think that, yes, you should give up heroin, it would probably be in your best interest, but more importantly? Time to put the skateboard down.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Daredevils (Like Criminals, but with pain instead of crime)]]
* Mike Trainor imitating a skateboarder checking on his groin after (in the skateboarder's own words) "blowing his nut":
-->'''Mike T.''': (counting his testicles) One... and a half... OH, GOD!
* The entire "Ghost Bike" sequence from Daredevils 10.
* "What'd I tell you about testicles?!"
-->'''Mike T.''': What conversation ''were'' you having about testicles? Was it related to ''this'', or were you just talking about balls in general, like, 'Hey, you know what ''I'' like about balls?'
* Gary Busey proving to us why he's every inch a CloudCuckoolander:
-->'''Gary:''' The thing about Tigger--
-->'''Producer:''' (Correcting him) Trigger
-->'''Gary:''' is... Tigger believes in love... and he believes in Winnie the Pooh.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Drivers (The other main reason truTV created this show)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Drivers":
-->'''Loni''': Hello, this is the, uh, fire department. We done crashed into the fire department, so can somebody send the [[RuleOfThree Fire Department?]]
* Chuck Nice, on a man whose car was hit by a runaway truck tire:
-->'''Chuck''': You don't know when you're riding down the street, when the Michelin Man just might show up and bitch slap you!
* Brad Loekle on a driver who failed to get away from police in his Yugo:
-->'''Brad''': You'd have better luck driving a hot pocket down the road than a Yugo!
* Frank Stallone narrating a montage of ''numerous'' car accidents in Russia.
* A TV camera crew is driving on their way back from a report, and the men discuss which they would rather do without: their penises, or their balls.
-->'''Loni:''' Is ''this'' what guys talk about when they together?! ''Y'all nasty!!!''
-->'''Michael:''' This makes me embarrassed to be a dude!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hillbillies (Not Quite Dummies)]]
* The pudgy, bald-headed, goatee-wearing hillbilly who likes to trim his hedge by swinging his chainsaw around in the air.
-->'''Loni:''' I like him! He cute! Look at him!
** Then of course, the guy's little joke about bushes, so stupid it's funny:
-->'''Hillbilly:''' Ever hear the one about the bush that walked into the barbershop? He told the barber [[IncrediblyLamePun just take a little of the hedge]].
-->'''Kevin:''' And it only took him a year to come up with that joke. He could write for Tonya.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Holidays (Or, more specifically, the dumb things that happen on holidays)]]
* An officer pulls over a drunk driver, dressed in a crappy zombie costume for Halloween.
-->'''Officer:''' Are you bleeding?
-->'''Drunk:''' It's Halloween stuff.
-->'''Officer:''' Oh, Halloween stuff. What are you dressed as?
-->'''Drunk:''' A dead guy.
-->'''Officer:''' A gay guy, okay.
-->'''Drunk:''' No, a ''dead'' guy.
* In a clip of a family gathering at Christmastime, a grown man and his elderly mother try their hand - or rather, feet - at ''VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution''. When the son takes his turn, his mother (who apparently is better than him) starts mocking and taunting him. He actually ''shoves his mother down to the floor with one hand, and without even breaking away from the game''.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Inventions (Technically, it's "World's Smartest Inventions", but we'll take it anyway)]]
* Jaime Andrews on "The Drib".
-->'''Jaime''': "The Drib"? Well, I guess "Pig In A Blanket" was already taken.
* The HypocriticalHumor on Ace Power.
-->'''Mike T.''': Man, that workout equipment sure looks stupid. Now, where was I? ''(starts using the Shake Weight)''
* The "Man Bib" invention, meant to help guys, shall we say, [[ADateWithRosiePalms cleanup]]. ''None'' of the commentators can believe it.
-->'''Loni:''' ''[cracking up]'' Y'all so nasty! Y'all so nasty...
* Mike Britt, in response to an elderly gentleman's comments about Bowser Beer being made in America, and having U.S.D.A.-approved ingredients.
-->'''Mike B.:''': We get it grandpa! Stars and stripes! Red, white, and blue! Got it! It's dog beer, dude!
* Mike Trainor, offering us his alternative to Flying Pasties (works especially well for BigGuys):
-->'''Mike T:''' Whenever I have to go through the scanner at the airport, I just tuck my junk in between my legs... does nothing for my security, but it gives them something to talk about.
* The casts' reactions to Squishy Baff, that turns your bath water into a squishy goo.
-->'''Kevin:''' "You can turn water into a squishy goo"? Do we have to?
-->'''Chuck:''' Squishy ''Baff''! First of all, ''thank you'' for making me feel culturally comfortable about myself!
-->'''Gary:''' It's stupid to goo yourself from finding your own pleasure points. Need I say more? Need I say more?
* The Sip N Dip Cookie Dipper, that allows you to dunk your cookie into your milk, without spilling milk or messing your fingers; the inventor says it's for all your favorite cookies, but it's clearly created with small cookies like Oreos or girl scout cookies in mind. Jared Logan wants to dunk his favorite cookie - a black-and-white cookie - but sees it won't fit. [[AsideGlance He stares at the camera with a look of horror]].
-->'''Kevin:''' Finally we're now to a point where our inventors are ''inventing problems'' to invent inventions for.
** Brad pointing out the [[FunnyForeigner inventor's]] [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent accent]].
-->'''Inventor:''' After watching my 2-year-old niece try and have ''milk and cookie''[...]
-->'''Brad''': "Milk and cookie"? What, did she only get one cookie?
* Michael Loftus's reaction to an American-made invention that allows you to slip your hand into a small cubical pillow thing to let you rest your head for a quick nap.
-->'''Michael:''' I remember when we used to do cool shit like go to the moon, and now we're like, ''"We made a block of foam! And put cover on it!! U.S.A.!!! U.S.A.!!!"''
* My Best Friend's Fork, a special fork invented by a woman named Val Arnold, who likes to feed her dogs from a fork; the BFF is designed with a looped handle and rounded edges for the dog's safety, and she also notes the fork's decorations:
-->'''Val:''' I have a pink rhinestone for girls, a blue rhinestone for boys, and a diamond.
-->'''Brad:''' So what's the diamond for? Tranny dogs?
* From the [=HatCam=] segment, we see the [=HatCam=] footage of different cast members, including Brendan (on his first day) and Leif encountering each other.
-->'''Brendan:''' Are you the new guy?
-->'''Leif:''' ''I'm'' the new guy? ''You're'' the new guy.
-->'''Brendan:''' Ah, dude... I've been doing this--
-->'''Leif:''' Excuse me, bro... come on, I've been here since Season 1.
-->'''Brendan:''' Oh.
-->'''Leif:''' How about you?
-->'''Brendan:''' I've been here since 9:00.
-->'''Leif:''' Oh, congratulations! Welcome.
* The Ms. Taken ring: essentially, a fake wedding ring for women to drive away perverts that are hitting on them.
-->'''Informercial Announcer:''' The Ms. Taken Femme Fatale ring packet comes with a blingin' 2-karet Australian crystal--
-->'''Wes:''' ''Australian'' crystal?! Uh-uh!
* Ted on the Happy Hotdog Man:
-->[[http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k290/snowthbo/childhoodobesity_zps54ea6cfc.jpg Look, let's face it, eating is a drag for kids, that's why only 90% of them are obese]].
* The inventor of FabriCan (spray-on fabric) is invited to the show to spray Mike T. and Brad; he only manages to spray fabric on the front of their torsos.
-->'''Inventor:''' You know, I get invited here in New York to spray two gorgeous model, and here, what I'm having is I'm having [[ThoseTwoGuys these two guys]], and--
-->'''Mike T.:''' Yeah, well, I'm not fuckin' thrilled about this either, so why don't we just--
-->'''Brad:''' (walks in) What did you say?! (To Mike T.) Hold on a sec, (To inventor) did you just call me ''fat?!''
* Kevin's reaction to a contraption to strap around a dog's genitals to "prevent accidental mating."
-->'''Kevin:''' Dude, '''''how slutty is your dog?!'''''
* Brad's reaction to a funnel made for even distribution of butter on movie popcorn:
-->'''Brad:''' So in the time it took to invent this, I'm assuming we've cured cancer, stopped global warmning, and now have flying cars?
* Former MLB player, Mark Litell, endorsing the Nutty Buddy:
-->'''Mark Litell:''' Hi, I'm Mark Litell, I've been in the game a long time, ever since I was eighteen-years-old; I think I'm over fifty now...
-->'''Jaime:''' You ''think'' you're in your fifties? Maybe you should be more worried about protecting your head.
* Mike Trainor's reaction to [[OfCorsetsFunny the Slim-T]] from Inventions 4.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Problem solved! I was gonna stop having ice cream for lunch, but this is much easier!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lovers (Televisual showcase of LoveMakesYouDoStupidThings)]]
* The fact that this show took a swipe at Farmers Only Dot Com (the dating website specifically for farmers and plain ol' country folk) should be enough to earn it an Emmy.
-->'''Website tagline:''' City folks just don't get it.
-->'''Frankie:''' Yeah. We don't fuck sheep. That's why we don't get it.
* The masturbating turtle. 'Nuff said.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Motorheads (Drivers 2.0)]]
* Mike Trainor in response to a drunken Russian crashing a bulldozer through a parking lot, and the owners of the wrecked take turns beating him up (and at one point, pull up his shirt and smack him):
-->'''Mike T.''': His shirt's up! Everybody give him a pink belly! ''(Starts smacking Brad Loekle's belly)'' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ''(Serious tone)'' Seriously dude, we're really mad at you.
* We see a tractor in a Walmart parking lot in Ontario, with no driver inside, which the cast turns into an episode of Scooby Doo, with Brendan Walsh playing Shaggy, and Michael Loftus playing Scooby Doo (also [[ThoseTwoGuys Mike Trainor and Brad Loekle]] are a pair of [[PoliceAreUseless fraidy-cat cops]]).
-->'''Brendan as Shaggy:''' We figured out the ghost tractor was none other than Old Man Ted Jessup!
-->'''Ted:''' (Wearing a hoodie) And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddlin' grown men pretending to be cartoon characters!
-->'''Michael as Scooby:''' Rooby-rooby-doo!
* The opening skit of one episode, where Brendan invokes both StalkerWithACrush and AttentionDeficitOohShiny, as he hops into his slick black car and speeds off for taping.
-->'''Brendan:''' (Fumbling with his phone) ''[[StalkerWithACrush When the hell will Tonya Harding text me back?!]]'' [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey look, a Twix!]]
-->''Brendan reaches for the Twix bar, driving his now-beatup-looking yellow car off a cliff.''
-->'''Brendan:''' Ohhhhhhhhhh the iiironyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....
-->''Fiery crash''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Outlaws (Criminals 2.0)]]
* Mike Trainor, on a clip featuring a man who robbed a hotel that was hosting a mixed martial-arts fighters convention:
--> '''Mike T''': Whenever you go to rob a hotel, check the little sign when you come in, make sure it doesn't say "Welcome, ass-kicking champs."
* Mike T. on a clip in Equador of a man wearing sunglasses walking by and ignoring two school girls being attacked by random man.
-->'''Mike T''': Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice two girls being assaulted, I was busy looking ''cool''.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Partiers (Originally just drunk drivers, then upgraded to include parties, now mainly drunk drivers again)]]
* From a clip of a guy testing his own homemade pepper spray, and he starts flipping and flopping around in the bathtub, screaming like a little girl.
-->'''Guy:''' I'VE NEVER BEEN IN PAIN! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
-->'''Camera Guy:''' Dude, open your eyes.
-->'''Guy:''' I CAN'T, THEY'RE CLOSED!
* From a clip where a group of drunken teenagers are pulled over by the police for stealing a bait car.
-->'''Passenger:''' We shouldn't have done this dawg, this was stupid as fuck!
-->'''Driver:''' I know. I love you guys.
-->'''Others:''' We love you too dawg.
-->'''Brad:''' You guys don't have to say your goodbyes like its ''Film/ThelmaAndLouise'', you're just getting arrested...
* Pretty much any of the cast's response to clips where someone is eventually knocked unconscious.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Quick! Everybody do everything that you're ''not'' supposed to do with an unconscious person! You move her, you hump her, you pour water on her!
-->'''Chelsea:''' You've been hit by a bus... ''lie down''...
-->'''Jaime:''' He's out, quick, everybody crowd around him!
* In a clip of women reggae dancing, one girl whips her head around so much, he wig flies off and lands on the ground.
-->'''Mike T.:''' EVERYBODY RUN! IT'S A GIANT TARANTULA!
* Mike Trainor playing the part of a Giants fan, who was arrested while behaving erratically at a celebration party.
-->'''Mike T.:''' Can you imagine how that guy's gonna explain this to his girlfriend? "So, how'd you get arrested?", "Well the Giants won the Super Bowl, ''dot-dot-dot'', just come pick me up!"
* Tonya watching a clip of monkeys irritated at a drunk man invading their pin in a zoo.
-->'''Tonya:''' Monkeys are ''so cool''... especially the ones with the ''big asses'' that stick out, I mean, huurrrrr...
* From a clip of an incredibly drunk man being forced from a bar, while he pulls down his pants and yells at various different people to fuck him.
-->'''Daniel:''' "Get back here before I pull my pants up" has got to be one of the least effective threats I have ever heard.
* Kevin [=McCaffrey=]'s response to a woman being given a sobriety test, who remarks, "I'm Irish, I'm hot-blooded!"
-->'''Kevin:''' If you want to convince a cop that you're ''not'' drunk, saying that you're Irish is probably not the best way to do it. That's like trying to get out of a drug charge by saying, "Hey, I'm Andy Dick!"
* An athlete celebrates by drinking way too much Vodka. Loni tries to figure out his speech.
-->'''Loni:''' What the hell is he saying? Does anybody speak Vodka?
* A tailgating party where an elderly lady is actually getting her groove on, and even drawing attention from other younger people attending the party... and then a guy just walks by right in front of the camera.
-->'''Mike T:''' I like that one dude who just walks through full speed; "Do-da-loo-do-do! Nothin' weird here!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Performers (The Hollywood side of World's Dumbest)]]
* John Enos and Loni Love "playing" with the love chair at the end of ''World's Dumbest Performers 8.''
* This line while the cast is watching an adult movie in ''Performers 10''.
-->'''Mike T.''': Spoiler alert! It's his penis!
** Which actually outdates the famous line from NewGirl (Performers 10 premiered in November 2011, the NewGirl episode three months later).
* Mike T. dressed in a full-bodied ''Videogame/PacMan'' costume with a mouth that works like a puppet. Look out, [[Creator/SidAndMartyKrofftProductions Sid & Marty Krofft]]!
* From Gil's rap video:
-->'''Gil:''' After I steal yo hoe, I will kill yo hoe, raise her from the dead, count up all my bread...
-->'''Brendan Walsh:''' So lemme get this straight... you're gonna steal my hoe... ''kill'' her... then bring her back to life... ''YOU WANNA BANG MY ZOMBIE GIRLFRIEND, GIL?!''
* In a clip from Indonesia, featuring [[PeopleInRubberSuits two men in a giant dragon costume puppet]] preparing to leap across a series of poles with platforms.
-->'''Ted Jessup:''' Mr. Dragon? I'm representing [[Series/SesameStreet Mr. Snuffleupagus]], he's suing you for infringement.
* From the black bear newscast of "World's Dumbest Performers 12":
-->'''Kevin:''' You know, some days the news should just show up and say, "Sorry, we got nothin'," and put on a ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' rerun.
* Also from "World's Dumbest Performers 12", the Japanese commercial featuring a young [[spoiler:Leif Garrett]]. That is all.
* The entire commentary about the Easter Gorilla from "Performers 10".
-->'''Mike Trainor:''' Of course the house with the above ground pool and the giant trampoline has a spare gorilla suit lying around.\\
'''Brad Loekle:''' I know one little girl who will be converting to Judaism.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Pranksters (People doing stupid pranks you shouldn't do)]]
* "A little bit of water? On my shirt? I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!"
* Nick [=DiPaolo=] playing Jimmy Hoffa.
* Reactions in two different clips that feature attractive young girls:
** The first has a guy pulling a prank on his girlfriend by pulling a small toy clown on a tricycle with fishing line when she returns home from work (as she's terrified of clowns); when she returns home:
-->'''Nick:''' What kind of work she was coming home from that she has to wear skin-tight short shorts? Was she in a ''{{Playboy}}'' shoot?
*** Even funnier was that she was so terrified, she dashed out the door, back into her car, and took off in two seconds flat.
** In the other clip, a girl paints clown makeup on her face and hides in a trashcan to scare her cousin, only to have the cousin turn the tables and dumo creepy-crawlies on her; she panicks, pulls her dress off, and runs back into the house in her underwear.
-->'''Danny:''' The clown makeup is disturbing, but she's stripping? My boner is conflicted.
* "CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE! CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE! CRACK-A-LACK-A-LACK-A-LACK-A, CHICKEN-CHICKEN DANCE!"
-->'''Brad:''' I ''really'' need to get off cable.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Record Breakers (More things you're better off not doing)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Record Breakers 3", one clip shows us a woman trying to break a record at blowing into a hot water bottle, until it bursts - various different commentators try it themselves, to no success.
-->'''Brad:''' You have to blow harder than Tonya Harding's jokes to pop that!
-->'''Tonya:''' (Mumbling) Can you imagine if Leif put his mouth on that thing, and then I did, and it'd be like we were makin' out.
-->'''Brad:''' Can ''anybody'' understand a word this motherfucker says?
* From "World's Dumbest Record Breakers 6", we see a clip of a morbidly obese woman named Donna, who is trying to get into the record books by being the world's heaviest woman, and is currently working her way to weigh 1,000 pounds.
-->'''Donna:''' I wouldn't mind being a thousand pounds. The bigger you are, the sexier you are.
-->'''Mike T:''' Who told you that?! Was it a plate of bacon? Because that was a lie!
* After we watch a clip of Tonya breaking a record by driving her 1931 Ford Model A at 97 mph, then finishing the day by posing for photos in a black-and-white checkered bikini...
-->'''Billy:''' I didn't know we could bring our own home vidoes on this show, because I've got one of my daughter sitting on the potty.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Thrillseekers (Daredevils Lite)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Thrillseekers 6", the clip in question showing a pair of motorcyclists performing stunts:
--> '''Voice Over Announcer''': Now the event you have all been waiting for! The most amazing motorcycle trick ever done by two guys at one time! ''(bike crashes into an oncoming car)'' DAMNIT!
* The "What the fuck?" look on Frankie's face when Daniel imitates him and his trademark Russian-bashing monologuing.
* A thrillseeker has himself knocked into a large pile of empty cardboard boxes by jumping into the path of a speeding truck with mattresses strapped to the grill.
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah, I'm actually moving, and I collected those boxes from three different liquor stores, so unless you guys wanns help me move... yeah, that's what I thought.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Others (Any episode with less than 2 sequels)]]
* From "World's Dumbest Shoppers:
-->'''Judy Gold''': "I'm gonna go get, a $50 piece of shit computer!"
** From the same clip, a distraught woman claims to be injured and almost killed, and repeatedly yells for somebody to call her an, "Ambalance".
-->'''Jo:''' It's not an ambalance, it's an ambulance. The answer is no, an ambalance is not on its way, because those don't exist.
* One clip shows the chaos that followed the release of CabbagePatchKids, one little girl with feathery blonde hair apparently had a doll snatched out of her hands and is crying over it, while another lady vents her anger about the entire situation.
-->'''Godfrey:''' I don't think that was a little girl, I think was Leif Garrett when he was really young.\\
(''cut to an insert of a photo Leif from the 70s compared to a still shot of the crying girl'')
* While this wasn't on ''World's Dumbest...'' VH1's ''I Love Toys'' did a segment on Cabbage Patch Kids, and even brought up an authentic doll will have inventor Xavier Roberts's signature embroidered on the doll's rear; Loni was digusted, "He branded every one of them babies!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder: HilariousOuttakes (The mistakes, goofs, or other behind-the-scenes nuggets we're treated to)]]
* In the "Criminals" episode that featured the above-mentioned re-enactment of Leif's 2010 drug arrest, the incident was re-enacted ''again'' during the closing credits, this time with John playing Leif and Todd playing the arresting officer.
* During the credits of one episode, Judy walks in on Nick's commentary.
-->'''Nick:''' Whoa! Look at this -- a 6'8'' Jew!\\
'''Judy:''' What's up?\\
'''Nick:''' Aw, you know what's up, look at us.\\
'''Judy:''' I know, it's pathetic, isn't it?\\
'''Nick:''' I'm doin' this till they give me my own show on truTV. What is this? Is she gonna watch me?\\
'''Judy:''' I gotta put my fuckin' makeup on!\\
'''Nick:''' Well, why don't you just do it in the fuckin' men's room?
* Another time, Judy walks in on Brad's commentary.
-->'''Brad:''' Oh! It's Jewbacca! Hey, Jewbacca!\\
('''Judy flips Brad off'')\\
'''Brad:''' Did you shave before you put your makeup on so you don't look like me?\\
'''Judy:''' Can't you be fuckin' nice to me and save it for the camera?
* During the credits of a "Pranksters" episode, the producers secretly give some of the castmembers a pen that shocks when click for them to write notes on. Judy is angered, Roger is slightly amused, Jaime freaks out, and Todd acts like he's going into cardiac arrest - "Gimme a pacemaker, dude!"
* The entire sequence from "World's Dumbest Holidays", in which the cast attempts to sing an altered rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas", which includes many line flubs, numerous wrong notes, and pitiful attempts at singing.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Unsorted (If anyone knows where these scenes come from, place them in their proper position and include the title)]]
* "Of all the bum luck! First I sleep through my alarm clock-- now my arm's pointing the wrong way! Aw, dang, this just isn't my day."
* John dressed as Jesus Christ.
-->'''John:''' Whose fucking name do I say when somebody pisses ''me'' off?!
[[/folder]]
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