History Funny / WizardingSchoolMysteries

* Polybeus' first fight doesn't quite go as planned, even if he wins. He's nearly late for it, and when his opponent, Waldorf Brimli, taunts him, all he has is [[BigStupidDooDooHead "your face is stupid"]]. Then, just as Waldorf is preparing to strike, Polybeus ends the fight [[GroinAttack with a lightning bolt to the nads.]] It proves to be a PhyricVictory in a sense, as he's stuck with the AtrociousAlias of Nutshot for a lot of the story.

* Every time Charlotte gets absolutely plastered from being a human for too long. You'd think she went on a complete bender when she starts slurring her words and trying to convince her friends she's fine. The first time has her implicitly puking on Polybeus while everyone else looks on in horror. [[DissonantSerenity James states that it's been a good trip, all things considered.]]

-->'''Margot:''' Gretchen, I was approaching six feet tall when I was twelve, and I periodically lit things on fire with my mind without meaning to. Anyone in my village who might have flirted with me was far too intimidated to even try. I have no idea what flirting is.

* Margot and Gretchen being utterly baffled by Serena whisking James away to check out shops, followed by Charlotte [[ShipTease implicitly coming on to Polybeus]] while asking for him to come with her. The two practically sputter their way through saying that James and Serena are JustFriends, no doubt fearing for their [[EveryoneCanSeeIt not-so-hidden crushes]] being compromised.

** Later, they all show up at the very end of the semester for a sort of job fair. Demonbone is quick to promote ethical wages for his jobs in his own way.

** Later, he notices a horse standing in the open, and wonders out loud if it'll let him ride it despite everyone repeatedly telling him that it's a kelpie. He only figures it out when it suddenly talks to say that it's a real horse. Then it sets the boy off by calling him a coward, with Serena having to pull him away as he shouts that he'll hold onto his grudge forever.

* According to Polybeus, HeroesPreferSwords, and he says this like it's the most obvious thing to Serena.

* Ivan absolutely reveling in his new dance suit, twirling around and marveling at Rodrigo's craft. James can only stare in bafflement at how the boy's pantaloons are far shorter than everyone else's. He outright calls them "hot pants" to Rodrigo, who's justification is...[[ShesGotLegs he's got legs.]]

* Everything about [[UnfortunateNames Gernderf Dermberder.]] He's a supreme combination of hammy BunnyEarsLawyer and PointyHairedBoss, and on top of that, his name is literally how a person with no teeth might pronounce two of the most famous pop-culture wizards' names. NO ONE can take it seriously, regardless of their language.

* When Margot, Serena, and Polybeus attack the guards, said guards realize that a lot of their spells are useless against the intruders (spinning straw into gold, spoiling milk with a glance, making socks disappear).

-->'''Margot (flatly):''' Let's just move on.

-->'''Rodrigo:''' Maybe a classic [[YouTalkTooMuch 'You talk too much.' He was awfully chatty.

-->'''Gretchen:''' How about 'Abra-ca-[[CurseCutShort fuc-'

* When James wonders to the Autumn Prince why she's not a princess (this prince is [[SheIsTheKing female]]), the high elf talks about how undignified that sounds, mockingly wondering why they aren't just called princelings or hobprinces.

-->'''Pixie (hushed and reverent):''' [[AscendedMeme Oh my gods, they were roommates!]]

* When one of the gargoyle bouncers asks for Margot and James name, he ends up calling James "Uh Sorry James Chaucer" based on the first thing he says. The other gargoyle rightfully calls him out on his stupidity. The gargoyle, Leroux, tries to defend himself by stating how dumb human names can be, like, of course, [[RunningGag Gernderf Dermberder.]]

* When one of the gargoyle bouncers asks for Margot and James name, he ends up calling James "Uh Sorry James Chaucer" based on the first thing he says. The other gargoyle rightfully calls him out on his stupidity.

* Ivan absolutely reveling in his new dance suit, twirling around and marveling at Rodrigo's craft. James can only stare in bafflement at how the boy's pantaloons are far shorter than everyone else's. He outright calls them "hot pants" to Rodrigo, who's justification is...[[ShesGotLegs he's got legs.]]

** She then declares that she'll give the gang a clue to who her master is...through bad poetry! Everyone groans before she launches into a weird and slightly nonsensical song (that still manages to be a little helpful).

** Later, when they confront her about brazenly showing up, her justification is that [[ItAmusedMe it was funny to her.]]

* While raging at his lack of progress with the SnipeHunt James gave him, Polybeus stubs his toe so badly he spouts curses that are stated to be [[TakeOurWordForIt too foul to record in print.]]

* Upon realizing that she's AlongAmongTheCouples (fake couples, but still) for the ball, she says she'll find her own partner, stating, [[TemptingFate "How hard can it be?"]] Cue the literature equivalent of a GiliganCut.

** During that same talk with James, he refers to Lord Dhenregirr as [[WesternAnimation/TheDoverBoys "coward, bully, cad, and thief"]]

* Dermberder frequently screwing up the names of James' friends, calling them Boris, Gertrude, and Margaret at one point.

-->'''Dermberder:''' [[AnswerCut 'Gernderf Dermberder! Gernderf Dermberder!']] They chanted as the king bowed to give me his deepest respects.

-->'''Dermberder:''' [[AnswerCut'Gernderf Dermberder! Gernderf Dermberder!']] They chanted as the king bowed to give me his deepest respects.

-->'''Gretchen:''' [[AnythingButThat I won't I can't! It'll kill me!]]

* James refering to Bretonce and Francane royals as "jelly-boned blob babies" when discussing the Francobreton truce. Margot then says that the two countries go back to hating each other when their heirs can chew solid food again.

* James refering to Bretonce and Francane royals as "jelly-boned blob babies".