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--> '''Greg''': I love to sing like Colin, I really really do.\\
I really really really really really really do!\\
And when I sing like Colin, it makes me have great joy,\\
Because I... arrghh! ''(does Colin's dinosaur impression)''
I really really really really really really do!\\
And when I sing like Colin, it makes me have great joy,\\
Because I... arrghh! ''(does Colin's dinosaur impression)''
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* Tony's verse in the "Exams" Hoedown:
--> '''Tony''': I hate examinations, it fills me with such fear,\\
I get the collywobbles, and lots of diarrher.\\
So if you are a student, don't care about the pain,\\
Get through your exams by taking lots of cocaine!
--> '''Tony''': I hate examinations, it fills me with such fear,\\
I get the collywobbles, and lots of diarrher.\\
So if you are a student, don't care about the pain,\\
Get through your exams by taking lots of cocaine!
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[[folder:Credits Reading]]
* Ryan and Catherine O'Hara turning each other on by reading all the names.
[[/folder]]
* Ryan and Catherine O'Hara turning each other on by reading all the names.
[[/folder]]
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* Colin and Ryan playing an expectant couple where the wife has gone into labor. That is all.
* One unfortunate positioning by an unsuspecting female audience member during one game:
-->"You want me to take a shower? ''(Woman is unsure on how to position Ryan)'' A '''shower'''? ''(She outstretches his hand and arm)'' [[BlackComedy Nazis don't take showers!"]]
* One unfortunate positioning by an unsuspecting female audience member during one game:
-->"You want me to take a shower? ''(Woman is unsure on how to position Ryan)'' A '''shower'''? ''(She outstretches his hand and arm)'' [[BlackComedy Nazis don't take showers!"]]
* Colin (While wearing a winged hat), "It's new, with wings!"
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* Colin seemed to develop a RunningGag where he'd get out of finishing his verse in a Hoedown by [[KilledMidSentence having some form of heart attack]] if the subject allowed it, such as eating too much on Christmas or wearing pants so tight it cut off his blood circulation.
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* Colin seemed to develop a RunningGag where he'd get out of finishing his verse in a Hoedown by [[KilledMidSentence having some form of heart attack]] if the subject allowed it, such as eating too much on Christmas or wearing pants so tight it cut off his blood circulation.circulation, so much that fans have dubbed it "Pulling a Colin".
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* One episode had Greg hosting a party where three different scenarios were being played out, including Colin playing a man who kept ''waking up in the middle of surgery''. Even with the tips being given out about who they were (including Colin crying out at one point "I shouldn't be seeing this! I ''really'' shouldn't be seeing this!"), the usually adept Greg [[EpicFail didn't guess even one of the quirks]]. The scene even ended with him hilariously crouching into a TroubledFetalPosition on the stage.
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* Colin as Naked-And-Proud-Of-It Man.
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* Also the time Clive needs suggestions from the audience for a global disaster; among other things, the microphones pick up "an asteroid's about to crash into the earth" and "RichardNixon comes back from the dead." The decision is obvious:
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* Also the time Clive needs suggestions from the audience for a global disaster; among other things, the microphones pick up "an asteroid's about to crash into the earth" and "RichardNixon "UsefulNotes/RichardNixon comes back from the dead." The decision is obvious:
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Changed line(s) 217 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Greg''': When I came to England, I met me a man, / He was shiny and bald, his name was Clive Anderson. / There was some confusion, I said 'where's the freeway?'/ He said 'No you silly twat, it's called a mo-tor-way.
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-->'''Greg''': When I came to England, I met me a man, / He was shiny and bald, his name was Clive Anderson. / There was some confusion, I said 'where's the freeway?'/ He said 'No you silly twat, it's called a mo-tor-way.'
-->'''Tony''': I love the sound of motorways when things go splat. / I look out my car window and I've run over a cat. / But the thing I really hate, the worst thing in my life, / Is the stupid bastard who designed the M25.
-->'''Tony''': I love the sound of motorways when things go splat. / I look out my car window and I've run over a cat. / But the thing I really hate, the worst thing in my life, / Is the stupid bastard who designed the M25.
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_syn7YxKhc The Motorways Hoedown
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_syn7YxKhc The Motorways HoedownHoedown]] has some great verses:
-->'''Greg''': When I came to England, I met me a man, / He was shiny and bald, his name was Clive Anderson. / There was some confusion, I said 'where's the freeway?'/ He said 'No you silly twat, it's called a mo-tor-way.
-->'''Greg''': When I came to England, I met me a man, / He was shiny and bald, his name was Clive Anderson. / There was some confusion, I said 'where's the freeway?'/ He said 'No you silly twat, it's called a mo-tor-way.
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*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_syn7YxKhc The Motorways Hoedown
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*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4OfIQ5vRkA This game featuring Niall Ashdown.]] What starts out as a song about Greg losing his virginity takes a very [[HoYay interesting]] turn.
**Also, it features some great comments from Clive at the beginning.
***Like this:
---->'''Clive''': (To the audience)What do you think Greg could be celebrating?
---->'''Random woman in audience''': Losing his virginity!
---->'''Clive''': Losing his virginity? You look like such a sweet girl to come up with a suggestion like that.
*** And this:
---->'''Clive''': So, it's set in Spain, and you're celebrating, for some reason, the losing of your virginity. You must have a long enough memory for that, I would have thought, Greg.
** Not to mention Niall's hilarious mess up right at the start of the song:
---> '''Niall''': (In a bad Spanish accent)Welcome to the bar, would you like some tortilla? Oh, no, that's Mexico, who cares?
**Also, it features some great comments from Clive at the beginning.
***Like this:
---->'''Clive''': (To the audience)What do you think Greg could be celebrating?
---->'''Random woman in audience''': Losing his virginity!
---->'''Clive''': Losing his virginity? You look like such a sweet girl to come up with a suggestion like that.
*** And this:
---->'''Clive''': So, it's set in Spain, and you're celebrating, for some reason, the losing of your virginity. You must have a long enough memory for that, I would have thought, Greg.
** Not to mention Niall's hilarious mess up right at the start of the song:
---> '''Niall''': (In a bad Spanish accent)Welcome to the bar, would you like some tortilla? Oh, no, that's Mexico, who cares?
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*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHqPNVIZYzg This game]] about Noah's ark is hilarious.
** First of all, Greg's name (Curved Slightly) and Chip's name (Snack Wankly).
** Then you have the performers have fun doing something inappropriate and then 'realising' that the cameras are rolling. This leads to Greg and Tony almost kissing and this gem:
--->'''Chip''': (to Ryan) Well, Curved just thinks he's so great 'cause he sits in the studio a... (realises that the camera is on, and looks terrified).
** First of all, Greg's name (Curved Slightly) and Chip's name (Snack Wankly).
** Then you have the performers have fun doing something inappropriate and then 'realising' that the cameras are rolling. This leads to Greg and Tony almost kissing and this gem:
--->'''Chip''': (to Ryan) Well, Curved just thinks he's so great 'cause he sits in the studio a... (realises that the camera is on, and looks terrified).
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* "Songs of the Farmyard"- Brad sings the French ballad, "You May Be Just A Horse, But You've Got A Hell Of An Ass". Richard Vranch stops after the song reaches a certain point, but Brad wasn't done, leading him to hold out a prolonged "Oooooohhh!" and chuckle while Richard scrambled to start up again.
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--> '''Clive''': Right. Is that an audio placing, or are you...? You've seen a few of those, haven't you? I can tell by the way you're squinting.
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--> '''Clive''': Right. Is that an audio order you're placing, or are you...? You've seen a few of those, haven't you? I can tell by the way you're squinting.
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* One time the topic was 'things to day when meeting the in-laws. Ryan made a funny joke, then made it into a RunningGag, and then Mike Mcshane managed to completely upstage Ryan.
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* One time the topic was 'things to day when meeting the in-laws. ' Ryan made a funny joke, then made it into a RunningGag, and then Mike Mcshane Mc Shane managed to completely upstage Ryan.
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* One time the topic was 'things to day when meeting the in-laws. Ryan made a funny joke, then made it into a RunningGag, and then Mike McShane managed to completely upstage Ryan.
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDon... hel''lo.''
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs. MacDonald, Mr. MacDon... hel'lo!''
-->'''Mike:''' Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDonald, i'm so sorry to be at your grandmother's funeral.... HEL''LO!''
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDon... hel''lo.''
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs. MacDonald, Mr. MacDon... hel'lo!''
-->'''Mike:''' Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDonald, i'm so sorry to be at your grandmother's funeral.... HEL''LO!''
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* One time the topic was 'things to day when meeting the in-laws. Ryan made a funny joke, then made it into a RunningGag, and then Mike McShane Mcshane managed to completely upstage Ryan.
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr.MacDonald, Macdonald, Mrs. MacDon...Macdon... hel''lo.''
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs.MacDonald, Macdonald, Mr. MacDon... hel'lo!''
Macdon... hel''lo!''
-->'''Mike:''' Mr.MacDonald, Macdonald, Mrs. MacDonald, i'm Macdonald, I'm so sorry to be at your grandmother's funeral.... HEL''LO!''
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr.
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs.
-->'''Mike:''' Mr.
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* One time the topic was 'things to day when meeting the in-laws. Ryan made a funny joke, then made it into a RunningGag, and then Mike McShane managed to completely upstage Ryan.
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDon... hel''lo.''
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs. MacDonald, Mr. MacDon... hel'lo!''
-->'''Mike:''' Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDonald, i'm so sorry to be at your grandmother's funeral.... HEL''LO!''
-->'''Ryan:''' I'd just like to say, Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDon... hel''lo.''
-->'''Ryan:''' I wanna say, Mrs. MacDonald, Mr. MacDon... hel'lo!''
-->'''Mike:''' Mr. MacDonald, Mrs. MacDonald, i'm so sorry to be at your grandmother's funeral.... HEL''LO!''
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* Steve's botched wedding Hoedown:
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* Steve's Steve Frost's botched wedding Hoedown:
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* Steve's botched wedding Hoedown:
--> '''Steve''': My brother got married, his name is Grommit, / And when he walked down the aisle, I began to vomit. / The vicar cleared it up, and put it under the cake, / And at the wedding reception, we all sat and ate cake... flake... da... brake...\\
'''Greg''': ''(speaking)'' Is that it, then?\\
'''Steve''': ''(speaking)'' That's it.
--> '''Steve''': My brother got married, his name is Grommit, / And when he walked down the aisle, I began to vomit. / The vicar cleared it up, and put it under the cake, / And at the wedding reception, we all sat and ate cake... flake... da... brake...\\
'''Greg''': ''(speaking)'' Is that it, then?\\
'''Steve''': ''(speaking)'' That's it.
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* The Party Quirks from episode 7x06, where Tony had trouble guessing even after receiving ''very'' obvious hints. After the game, Clive quickly said after that performance, they'd never have Tony on the show again. Which, outside of the compilation episodes at the end of the season, [[HarsherInHindsight turned out to be true.]]
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[[folder:Greatest Hits]]
* "Songs of the Plumber", after the second song concluded:
--> '''Ryan''': Are you hearing the songs? Why aren't you phoning in? I should come out there and just kick your...\\
'''Colin''': Hey hey hey! Calm down!
[[/folder]]
* "Songs of the Plumber", after the second song concluded:
--> '''Ryan''': Are you hearing the songs? Why aren't you phoning in? I should come out there and just kick your...\\
'''Colin''': Hey hey hey! Calm down!
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 306 (click to see context) from:
* There's also the Secret set at a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQnVKGX3sFg sperm bank.]] Colin [[{{Corpsing nearly loses his composure]] putting over Ryan's ridiculous concept.
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* There's also the Secret set at a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQnVKGX3sFg sperm bank.]] Colin [[{{Corpsing [[{{Corpsing}} nearly loses his composure]] putting over Ryan's ridiculous concept.
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[[folder:Secret]]
* The game based on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i1nBRz2ORc William Tell and his son]] is only a couple minutes long, but it's hilarious in a CrossesTheLineTwice[=/=]ComedicSociopathy sort of way.
* There's also the Secret set at a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQnVKGX3sFg sperm bank.]] Colin [[{{Corpsing nearly loses his composure]] putting over Ryan's ridiculous concept.
[[/folder]]
* The game based on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i1nBRz2ORc William Tell and his son]] is only a couple minutes long, but it's hilarious in a CrossesTheLineTwice[=/=]ComedicSociopathy sort of way.
* There's also the Secret set at a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQnVKGX3sFg sperm bank.]] Colin [[{{Corpsing nearly loses his composure]] putting over Ryan's ridiculous concept.
[[/folder]]
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* Archie Hahn (the first American on the show) is often regarded as one of the weakest performers in the show's history. However in one of the first playings of World's Worst, the topic being "news anchor", Archie invoked a news anchor discussing a school bus crashing.... [[DudeNotFunny and trying not to laugh.]] Interestingly enough, years later on the American version, when this same topic was used, Wayne Brady did essentially the same joke, albeit slightly streamlined.
-->" There was a bombing today.... *snickers*"
-->" There was a bombing today.... *snickers*"
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* World's Worst Person To Be Stuck In An Elevator With. Paul comes up with a TakeThat which, interestingly, cracks up the other contestants.
-->'''Paul:''' Hello, my name's John Sessions.
* World's Worst Person To Take Confession.
-->'''Ryan:''' Everything's you, you, you; what about ''me''?!?
* From Season 6 in 1994, the World's Worst Person To Be President Of The World In An Intergalactic Crisis. Tony makes possibly the most tasteless joke in his entire run, and recovers with a great comeback:
-->'''Tony:''' Ladies and gentlemen, [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Richard Nix-]] oh dear. ''[audience oohs due to it being TooSoon at the time]''
-->'''Clive:''' Topical now, it'll be great in six months time when this goes out...
-->'''Tony:''' He'll still be ''dead!!''
-->'''Paul:''' Hello, my name's John Sessions.
* World's Worst Person To Take Confession.
-->'''Ryan:''' Everything's you, you, you; what about ''me''?!?
* From Season 6 in 1994, the World's Worst Person To Be President Of The World In An Intergalactic Crisis. Tony makes possibly the most tasteless joke in his entire run, and recovers with a great comeback:
-->'''Tony:''' Ladies and gentlemen, [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Richard Nix-]] oh dear. ''[audience oohs due to it being TooSoon at the time]''
-->'''Clive:''' Topical now, it'll be great in six months time when this goes out...
-->'''Tony:''' He'll still be ''dead!!''
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Changed line(s) 73 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f40MyXI1tPY This]] early game. One of Mike McShane's greatest Whose Line performances.
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f40MyXI1tPY This]] early game. One of Mike McShane's [=McShane=]'s greatest Whose Line performances.
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* In one of the Hollywood episodes, Brad played "Captain Dog in Heat" solving the crisis of body odor. Ryan stepped in and pretended to step in Dog in Heat's crap. When Ryan asked Brad what the crisis is, Brad said "Intense body odor". Ryan asked him to repeat it lower, and Brad told him, "Intense body ''(as if howling like a dog)'' odooooorrrrr!!!"
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** It continues to be funny when Clive accuses Greg of planting a friend in the audience to yell out crazy suggestions.
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* In one of the L.A. episodes, Catherine O'Hara said gibberish and Ryan translated by saying she'll never have to listen to Colin's awful John Wayne impression anymore: "Round 'em up, pilgrims!"
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f40MyXI1tPY This]] early game. One of Mike McShane's greatest Whose Line performances.
[[folder:Foreign Film Dub]]
* Anytime the length of the gibberish [[RuleOfFunny doesn't even remotely match the length of the translation.]] Josie once spoke gibberish for about four seconds, only for Ryan to translate with this gem.
-->'''Ryan:''' Boy would I like to take you to bed and make love to you hour after hour, you laying on top of me, thrusting yourself upon me like some man. [[OverlyLongGag Making me want you more and more, the sweat dribbling across my milky white countenance. Take me now, love me as no man has ever loved me before!]]
-->'''Tony:''' "...okay."
-->'''Steve:''' Pardon?
[[/folder]]
* Anytime the length of the gibberish [[RuleOfFunny doesn't even remotely match the length of the translation.]] Josie once spoke gibberish for about four seconds, only for Ryan to translate with this gem.
-->'''Ryan:''' Boy would I like to take you to bed and make love to you hour after hour, you laying on top of me, thrusting yourself upon me like some man. [[OverlyLongGag Making me want you more and more, the sweat dribbling across my milky white countenance. Take me now, love me as no man has ever loved me before!]]
-->'''Tony:''' "...okay."
-->'''Steve:''' Pardon?
[[/folder]]
* ''"[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tWulmoCRho I'm feeling terribly lazy today; would you pick my nose for me?]]"''
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[[folder:Improbable Mission]]
* An earlier playing of Improbable Mission from the UK version: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzab5JTkl_k The way Ryan reacts to Colins out-of-the-blue statement "My God, she's gonna go off!" is absolutely priceless]].
* An earlier playing of Improbable Mission from the UK version: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzab5JTkl_k The way Ryan reacts to Colins out-of-the-blue statement "My God, she's gonna go off!" is absolutely priceless]].
to:
* An earlier playing of Improbable Mission (then simply called Mission Impossible) from the UK version: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzab5JTkl_k The way Ryan reacts to Colins out-of-the-blue statement "My God, she's gonna go off!" is absolutely priceless]].
Changed line(s) 201 (click to see context) from:
* Non singing example, during a game of News Report (the precursor to Weird Newscasters and Newsflash, Mike plays the roll of Little Bo Peep (in his normal voice), then as Mary Mary, Quite Contrary (with a more feminine voice). As Little Bo, he makes this comment when Josie, as the reporter on the scene, asks what happened with her sheep going missing:
to:
* Non singing example, during During a game of News Report (the precursor to Weird Newscasters and Newsflash, Newsflash), Mike plays the roll role of Little Bo Peep (in his normal voice), then as Mary Mary, Quite Contrary (with a more feminine voice). As Little Bo, he makes this comment when Josie, as the reporter on the scene, asks what happened with her sheep going missing:
Changed line(s) 204 (click to see context) from:
'''Ryan''': Of course (the sheep) would leave! Full-grown 200-pound man pissing on ya, wouldn't you want to leave?
to:
'''Ryan''': Of course (the sheep) would leave! Full-grown 200-pound man pissing on ya, wouldn't Would you want come home wagging your tail if a 300 pound woman was pissin' on ya?
** Greg makes the initial throw toleave?Josie by saying ''"[[ThatCameOutWrong Someone's coming in my ear...]]"''
* The game where Mike had to play both the Tortoise and the Hare. He plays the Hare as hyper and quick-witted, while he plays the Tortoise... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyjWleNsDpI well, just look.]]
** Greg makes the initial throw to
* The game where Mike had to play both the Tortoise and the Hare. He plays the Hare as hyper and quick-witted, while he plays the Tortoise... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyjWleNsDpI well, just look.]]
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* The Party Quirks game when Clive accidentally hit the buzzer instead of the doorbell.
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* The first ever Party Quirks game game, when Clive accidentally hit the buzzer instead of the doorbell.
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* The scene at the butcher shop goes past DoubleEntendre territory and right into filthy. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4o9Vs2r63M You wouldn't think Caroline had it in her.]]
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* Niall Ashdown is probably one of the UK version's most underrated performers. Case in point, [[https://youtu.be/0XTlMfR_0Ks?t=7m57s his ode to a stripper.]]
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* Greg as Impotence Boy. Just the suggestion gets the audience rolling.
-->'''Ryan:''' Sorry I'm late! I didn't think I was gonna be able to come... well, you must know all about that.
-->'''Ryan:''' Sorry I'm late! I didn't think I was gonna be able to come... well, you must know all about that.
* The World's Worst Ad Campaign has some classics.
-->'''Colin:''' Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum, BUT COME ON DOWN!!! '''WE'RE GOING CRAZYYYYYY!!!!!'''
-->'''Ryan:''' Johnson's Sperm Bank. [[DoubleEntendre You're in good hands!]]
-->'''Steve:''' Unsightly stains? [[ToiletHumor Well use the toilet paper properly.]]
-->'''Colin:''' Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum, BUT COME ON DOWN!!! '''WE'RE GOING CRAZYYYYYY!!!!!'''
-->'''Ryan:''' Johnson's Sperm Bank. [[DoubleEntendre You're in good hands!]]
-->'''Steve:''' Unsightly stains? [[ToiletHumor Well use the toilet paper properly.]]
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--> "I'm Clive Anderson and I used to have no neck. But with new Neck Insert...Look!"
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Minor edits.
Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
There has been so many [[Funny/WhoseLineIsItAnyway funny moments in]] ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' that we had to separate the pages. Here's the page for the original series in the United Kingdom, hosted by Clive Anderson.
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There has have been so many [[Funny/WhoseLineIsItAnyway funny moments in]] ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' that we had to separate the pages. Here's the page for the original series in the United Kingdom, hosted by Clive Anderson.
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Created new page for British Whose Line funny moments.
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There has been so many [[Funny/WhoseLineIsItAnyway funny moments in]] ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' that we had to separate the pages. Here's the page for the original series in the United Kingdom, hosted by Clive Anderson.
----
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:In General]]
* There was somewhat of a RunningGag featuring Tony in the early series. During a game of Props, his partner introduced himself/herself as someone (usually ''That's Life!'' presenter Esther Rantzen or newsreader and ''Desert Island Discs'' presenter Sue Lawley), followed by Tony ''pretending to throw up into the prop''.
** One of his earlier examples of this RunningGag during Props, he shrieks and actually pretends to club himself upside the head with the prop when Josie announced she was Anne Diamond.
* After Paul calls Clive a "Slaphead"
-->'''Clive:''' (looks at camera) I am sad to announce the untimely death of Paul Merton (laughter) at my hands.\\
'''Paul:''' I lasted longer than your hair did, though, didn't I!
* When Greg and Clive had an argument, you knew that you were very lucky and had to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOkYG7kbe9g#t=30s treasure]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OsLTtHybnI#t=11s it]] for the rest of your life.
-->'''Clive''': You'll have to act as...hamsters. Yes, hamst-\\
'''Greg''': What's wrong with you?! Hamsters! Get some friends!\\
'''Clive''': The hamsters ''are'' my friends.
** Or:
-->'''Clive''': (after getting the suggestion of "perishing elastics") Elastic is a substance we have over here that stretches. It perishes and things fall down and things go wrong.\\
'''Greg:''' When's it gonna stop, huh? The aggression?\\
'''Clive:''' When you give us our colonies back.\\
'''Greg:''' ''Your'' colonies. ''Clive's'' colonies.
** Most of the Clive/Greg arguments involve Clive making a snide remark about America being supposedly too backward to have something:
--->'''Clive:''' In this scene you're a sports commentator - you have sport in America, don't you?\\
'''Greg:''' Yes, and sometimes we ''beat'' the Germans. ''(audience cheers/boos)'' It's 'cause we never play them!\\
'''Clive:''' Well, in the war, when you join in... ''(audience cheers wildly)'' I don't think the Germans play baseball, do they?\\
'''Greg:''' I'd love to chat, but I'm a little busy doing an improv show.\\
'''Clive:''' Have you worked out what the simple words mean yet?\\
'''Greg:''' Yes I have, Mr. A.\\
'''Clive:''' Jolly good.\\
'''Greg:''' Maybe you're confusing this with your other show where you just talk, talk, talk and never let anyone else. ''(audience cheers wildly again)''
** Sometimes this backfires.
--->'''Clive''': You are in a uh...holdup. That's the only word I know. You have those in America, don't you?\\
'''Greg''': Yeah. We invented it!
* Perhaps the best Clive/Greg exchange:
--> '''Clive''': What superhero should Greg be? (audience member shouts "Useless Man") "Useless Man"? (another audience member shouts "Caterpillar Man") "Caterpillar Man", that kind of, gives him more to play with. Useless is... kind of what he is. I didn't mean that. Caterpillar Man is very good. What is the problem? (audience member shouts "Pants are too small!") Pants are too small? We've done that haven't we?\\
'''Greg''': If we did, I'm sure it was [[SarcasmMode fraught with hilarity!]]\\
'''Clive''': Well, with that challenge, let's go ahead... pants are too small...\\
'''Greg''': Who am I?\\
'''Clive''': You're Captain Caterpillar.\\
'''Greg''': Captain Caterpillar?\\
'''Clive''': You can bring elements of Useless Man, if you want.\\
'''Greg''': I'll be Captain Caterpillar, and you just sit there and be Useless Man like usual.\\
'''Clive''': Oh, you're winning tonight, as I can see. So, you might metamorphosise into something-\\
'''Greg''': Is it about time to make some kind of inappropriate American reference here?\\
'''Clive''': Not yet, you do the show. Yank.\\
'''Greg''': I can take a hit, if you-\\
'''Clive''': GET ON WITH IT, GREG!!!
* Clive inverts this gag for the American audience for the last British series, which was filmed in Hollywood.
--> '''Clive:''' Suggest a gameshow, like ''Series/WheelOfFortune''.\\
'''Rather unoriginal audience member:''' ''[[Film/{{UHF}} Wheel of Fish]]''.\\
'''Clive:''' I think we have that in England.
** And again:
---> '''Clive:''' I just have to explain to the British audience what "[=ATMs=]" are. We call them 'hole-in-the-wall machines' in England. ''(TruthInTelevision)''
* Mike kissing Tony in a blooper from Season 3, rendering him completely speechless.
* Also the time Clive needs suggestions from the audience for a global disaster; among other things, the microphones pick up "an asteroid's about to crash into the earth" and "RichardNixon comes back from the dead." The decision is obvious:
-->'''Clive''': There's a jam shortage! Okay, so--\\
'''Greg''': WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO?!\\
'''Mike''': Who are you receiving your suggestions from, British Telecom?!\\
'''Greg''': There's GOLD coming from over here!
* Whenever Clive comments on audience members' suggestions for styles, such as this one where an audience member shouts "Sex ed film!"
--> '''Clive''': Right. Is that an audio placing, or are you...? You've seen a few of those, haven't you? I can tell by the way you're squinting.
* In one episode, Clive picked out a woman from the audience to help with "Moving People". The lady admitted she'd never seen the show before, and Clive asked, "What'd you come along for then? What were you expecting? [[SelfDeprecation Something a bit funnier than this?]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Authors]]
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgXIrfxQpKw game of Authors]] where Tony's style was ComicStrip/RupertBear. He had the last turn of the round...
-->'''Steve Steen''' (''as Andrew Morton''): I tell you, I was so depressed I threw myself and tried to impale myself on Barbara Cartland's eyelashes... (''buzz'')\\
'''Paul Merton''' (''Hello!'' magazine): Barbara Cartland, [[BlatantLies can there be a more respected woman in Great Britain?]] (''buzz'')\\
'''Tony''' (''clearly thinking hard''): Barbara Cartland, witch and hag, too much makeup, fascist bag.
** The best is the blank look on his face while he's saying it, followed by the grin as soon as the buzzer goes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bartender]]
* Mike tending bar for Ryan, who has [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC_fjRKFwCo&t=3m18s been invited to the Queen's garden party.]]
* "Don't mess with the Neon Love Chicken!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Daytime Talk Show]]
* In one of the Los Angeles episodes, the subject of one "Daytime Talk Show" was Cinderella. For some reason, Catherine O'Hara gave her character a strange voice (sort of like she was toothless), to the point where Greg had to interrupt her to say that he found her voice hilarious.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dead Bodies]]
* Ryan, Greg and guest Rory Bremner all have to pretend to be dead actors, with Colin as the only remaining living one battling on by moving them around and dubbing their voices. Ryan and Rory are cowboys, Greg's an Indian princess. Towards the end Colin has Rory say "Look, I think we all ought to have one big kiss" and there's a great moment where dead Rory 'wakes up' and has a "what the hell is going on" look in his eyes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dubbing]]
* Ryan and Steve Frost voice over two military guys in a room with a giant map on the wall - the first thing they do is [[FailedASpotCheck complain about how they can't find the map,]] up until the end.
--> '''Steve''': [[NeverMyFault What a stupid place to put a bloody map!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Duet]]
* A duet between Mike [=McShane=] and Josie Lawrence that veered onto the subject of puking in swimming pools and ended like this:
-->'''Josie:''' Don't worry, honey, relaxo. We won't really be sick, we'll use Paxo.\\
'''Mike:''' ''[gamely singing his heart out]'' That's a good idea, [[FishOutOfWater what the hell is Paxo]]?
** It's food stuffing, for those who don't know.
* Mike and Josie really had excellent chemistry, not to mention one of the best pair of singing voices, as demonstrated in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgC0Aph2UDc a love song about a cat litter tray.]] Yes. Absolutely genius lyrics here, "Whoever thought that feline defecation/Could be such a swell and singular sensation" One of the best Song Styles ever.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Expert]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH2gaCZmEtA&t=1m48s One]] of the few sessions of ''Expert'', where one player interviews an expert on an obscure subject. Greg and Ryan are in it, and the subject given by the audience is taxidermy - after which Ryan [[BlackComedy spends the entire game completely rigid and staring into space.]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome He doesn't even BLINK.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Expert Translation]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBK1rMmoANI Josie's fluid and convincing faux-Albanian]] is otherwise... ''marred'' by Jim's "interpretation".
** Compare with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwuT1wQFvl4 this later one.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film & Theatre Styles]]
* Whenever Paul and Tony are together in Film and Theatre Styles, you know you're going to experience a trainwreck of insanity. For example:
** First time together, in Greek tragedy style:
--->'''Tony''': The problem is that the builder has been murdered, Off-stage! (''laughter'')\\
'''Paul''': Not Stavrost, surely!\\
'''Tony''': No, Escalus, with a knife, dripping in the Mediterranean sun, he plastered his bricks and died.\\
'''Paul''': [[NotEvenBotheringWithTheAccent That's rather unlucky in Peckham isn't it?]]
** From Season 4:
--->'''Tony:''' (''mimes pouring a pint from a tap as a bartender''): Oh, I'll just put the cat down. (''puts the "cat" down, while Paul just stares at him'') What shall-?\\
'''Paul''' (''to Jim and Steve''): I can't work with this!\\
'''Tony''': What can I do you for? Ice in a slicer?\\
'''Paul''': Hang on, I'll just put down this cactus. (''does so'') Oh look, I better take this bazooka out of me pocket, (''does so'') and I'll get out of the helicopter. (''does so'')
** In Shakespeare style:
--->'''Paul''' (''speaking in a weird accent''): I would like to acquire some of this ale that I see displayed before me in various bottles of various hues.\\
'''Tony''' (''incredulously''): That's Bela Lugosi! (''laughter'') So, have you-\\
'''Paul''': I not know of this Hammy-era Horror actor of which you speak!\\
'''Tony''': My liege, you're fucked!
** Season 5 (final episode Paul was in):
--->'''Clive''' (''buzzes''): Horror.\\
'''Tony''': What a horrible suit! (''laughter and applause, Paul looks annoyed'')\\
'''Paul''': That's-that's good coming from somebody who's dressed up as Doc Holliday!
*** Followed by Clive interrupting because "this is just lapsing into personal abuse," to which Paul replies, "You shut your face!" Also, right at the beginning of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE-Ut2TTJVs that one]], Tony does an over-the-top pleading not to be locked up because he's innocent, prompting Paul to say, "I think you're as guilty as hell!"
** In Film Noir style:
--->'''Tony: (mimes smoking)''' Yes, it's interesting the way the-\\
'''Paul:''' Hang on, where'd the cigarette come from?! (Tony laughs) What's all this?! (Mimes Tony's "smoking" gestures) Excuse me while I just get on me moped! (Pretends to ride one, causing Tony to crack up. Does the smoking gesture again. Turns to Jim and Steve) You see that, what's all that?
* The [[DorkAge early seasons]] had a lot of in-between banter compared to the usual, but [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th3sdcVxw28&t=2m18s this]] interruption of a ''Film TV Theater Styles'' stood out.
--> '''Clive:''' Now do it InTheStyleOf a [[GuiltyPleasures blue movie]]... maybe you've seen a few (sotto) maybe even ''been'' in a few...\\
'''Josie:''' [[{{Adorkable}} Shurrup, me mum and dad am in!]]
* From the British version there's one "Film and Theater styles" with Ryan and Colin in which they have to do the scene in the Shakespearean style. The look on the faces of Tony and Steve in the background while Ryan says his line is also hilarious.
-->'''Clive''': Shakespeare.\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Ryan''': The sky. The sky behind the door is ''blooooo''.\\
'''Colin''': Aye, it 'tis blue! ''[silence]''\\
''(Buzz)''\\
'''Clive''': That's the worst Shakespeare I've ever heard! ''(cracks up)'' Here, I'll give you something a little [[BlatantLies easier]] for you – Japanese Noh Theater.\\
'''Ryan''': ''(groans under his breath)''
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWNhyzUWmNI&t=3m03s Here it is.]] Enjoy.
** And for added kicks, the Shakespearean line Ryan says? It's in Iambic Pentameter.
* The better part of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmxrBUo3wa0#t=2m54s this Film And Theatre Styles playing]] involves Ryan making a total fool of himself for the enjoyment of all involved.
--> "We'll keep going till we get to [[OohMeAccentsSlipping an accent Ryan can do]]."
* Griff Rhys-Jones and John Sessions [[http://youtu.be/kvuPt4sskTI?t=6m45s act out a silent movie]] a la Creator/CharlieChaplin. John hands Griff his shoe. [[Film/TheGoldRush He "eats"]] [[EatingShoes it]]. John hands him his sock. Griff ''[[IAteWhat literally]]'' eats it.
* Caroline Quentin: one that isn't quite so overshadowed from the shock value, where she and Josie are portraying female Arctic explorers... the first thing they do is ''complain about the weather and how it's drying their hair and everything.''
* One of the styles suggested for a playing by Colin and Ryan is "One Man Show", to which Clive points out the obvious flaw...
--> '''Clive:''' What, are they going to ''shoot'' the other one?
** Then, of course, he actually gives it to them later on, so Ryan walks off to leave Colin on his own giving an inner monologue...
---> '''Colin:''' I remember the sewers... ''(DramaticPause)'' Nineteen-forty-five! ''(DramaticPause)'' ...That's all I remember!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film Dub]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQlL-blPkD0 This]] Film Dub between Paul and Julian Clary.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzOJ17h-Rhs Meet the Jimmy Savile of ancient China.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film Trailer]]
* Film Trailer: ''The Revenge of the Sheep Shearer''. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GFs3DTiJC0 "I split my pants, look!"]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Helping Hands]]
* Probably [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB1vZ-5hLpc the first game Ryan had to eat something repulsive.]] It's a RunningGag that lasts to this day.
* ''"Brie & wine together! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_89JZJou1U What could be better]]??"''
** "[[{{Trolling}} I hear there's this marvelous trick which you do, which is putting a whole brie in your mouth!]]"
* Paul trying to snort baby powder during Helping Hands with Ryan (and Greg as the hands) scolding him, then smacking him with the baby powder.
* One playing of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6p2gvm3t6s "Helping Hands"]] featured Tony Slattery providing the hands for Josie Lawrence as she plays an air hostess. However, he seems to having a little too much fun with his hands (Grabbing Josie's breasts, sticking his fingers in her mouth, making sexual gestures, opening a tupperware box of salad all over the desk) and poor Josie just cracks up while trying and failing to maintain her composure. At one point he picks up a baby doll and smudges its face with a small cake prompting Josie to say:
-->'''Josie''': Oh, and if you've got a baby on the plane, we always like to put... a cake on its head.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hats]]
* In a game of ''Hats'' with a world's worst dating agency videos theme, Ryan repeatedly wears the same one, a jockey's cap where he gives a Murray Walker-style commentary ("It's Breast ahead of Penis, Penis coming up there quickly on the inside!"). That's not the CMOF; the CMOF is when he interrupts this by sitting down with a giant unsteady hat piled with plastic fruit:
-->'''Ryan''': ''(After a long pause)'' ...I really have nothing to say...I just like wearing this.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hoedown]]
* Tony's "Hoedown" about excessive drinking, which consisted of just pulling a handkerchief out of his mouth. The only lines he actually sings are "[[OrphanedPunchline and then I cut it off]]!" at the very end.
* During the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2jdY5G7hE "Sex" Hoedown]], Greg opened up with this (with Tony on the end):
--> '''Greg:''' Oh, I'm a randy bugger, I really get around!/I like to have a shag with everyone in town./I have lots of fun, I'm as happy as can be!/ and that's 'cos my name is Tony Slattery!
* Colin's verse in the Coffee hoedown.
* Greg's verse in the Colin hoedown.
* Colin seemed to develop a RunningGag where he'd get out of finishing his verse in a Hoedown by [[KilledMidSentence having some form of heart attack]] if the subject allowed it, such as eating too much on Christmas or wearing pants so tight it cut off his blood circulation.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Improbable Mission]]
* An earlier playing of Improbable Mission from the UK version: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzab5JTkl_k The way Ryan reacts to Colins out-of-the-blue statement "My God, she's gonna go off!" is absolutely priceless]].
** What really tears it is someone in the audience making ''jungle animal noises'' when Ryan starts using the "machete".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Let's Make a Date]]
* ''Let's Make a Date'' with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrH28LslpWM Stephen as a "trendy vicar"]]; not just for the way he slips comfortably into the role and throws in an EyesAlwaysShut tic for effect, but for the way he holds it all together with aplomb while beside Colin Mochrie as someone who "[[UnfortunateImplications hates everything English]]".
-->'''Colin''': Everyone drinks tea in [Creator/JaneAusten detective novels]! What is it with [[SpotOfTea tea]]? What is it with tea?! I've passed stronger urine samples than that! Now coffee--now THERE's a drink! Coffee! I need one right now!
* In one playing, Colin hated everything English. It's hilarious.
* In one playing, Colin's quirk is that he fancies the other two contestants, which he further interprets as completely ignoring Josie while he stares laviciously at them (and even absent-mindedly threatening to push her out of a window). When it comes time to guess:
-->'''Josie:''' Colin...Colin reminds me of a bloke I used to go out with, actually!
* In one of the "taped in L.A." episodes from the last season, Phil [=LaMarr=] played Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger as a stand-up comic ("Chuckles aplenty."), while Ryan played an impatient driver who gets stuck in traffic, shouting "LET'S GO!" at the top of his lungs and getting miffed at people who don't wave when he lets them into his lane. Anyone who's lived in a big city can relate to his quirk.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:News Report]]
* Non singing example, during a game of News Report (the precursor to Weird Newscasters and Newsflash, Mike plays the roll of Little Bo Peep (in his normal voice), then as Mary Mary, Quite Contrary (with a more feminine voice). As Little Bo, he makes this comment when Josie, as the reporter on the scene, asks what happened with her sheep going missing:
-->'''Mike''': It didn’t happen at all! I went out in the back to take a piss, I came back out- (realizes what he just said, cracks up) I don’t believe I just said that! I was out drinking with the sheep.\\
[''later'']\\
'''Ryan''': Of course (the sheep) would leave! Full-grown 200-pound man pissing on ya, wouldn't you want to leave?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Newsflash]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zlD4O7kaOE This]] early ''Newsflash'' game should put an end to the 'stuffy British humor' arguments...
** Not to mention, the Newsflash from the first episode of season 9 - featuring fully nude women. Lots of them. Running and bouncing. (Poor Greg seems to have a bit of a problem in his pants during this game!)
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Number of Words]]
* In a playing of ''Number of Words'', Colin has to say five words each time and Ryan can only say one. They play off each other brilliantly to get around this problem.
-->'''Colin:''' I'll go, you create a...\\
'''Ryan:''' Diversion?
* After a particularly [[SoBadItsGood bad]] playing, an amused Clive reminded everyone (but particularly Steven Frost): "I think the idea is to make sentences with three words, not just go three words and ''stop''."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Old Job, New Job]]
* A certain quirk in the game Old Job New Job gets [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwhHQRVzSIk played right to the hilt.]]
** "I think Steve wins that for coming up with the [[IncrediblyLamePun funniest crack of the night.]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Party Quirks]]
* The British version has some really great ones, including some classic Party Quirks. One being where Tony Slattery was unable to guess two of the quirks and, after Clive Anderson noted that this was his worst playing of the game, Tony responded by screaming [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J60jMh2JDGw "Oh, well, FUCK OFF!"]], causing Clive to take away all the points Tony had ever got since then. The other being the Party Quirk where Ryan was a toddler learning to walk and Josie Lawrence was [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7trNEapWKo a penis]], the actions the two did caused Tony to crack up hysterically.
** Tony realizing that Ryan's Party Quirk was being a sperm cell. "OH MY GOD [[BigNo NOOOO!]]"
* Tony Slattery. Party Quirks. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_eEAo-SSBE Chippendale.]]
-->'''Paul''': You've come as Tony Slattery!
* The Party Quirks game when Clive accidentally hit the buzzer instead of the doorbell.
-->'''Paul''': Excuse me, there's somebody at the microwave.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Press Conference]]
* One of the Hollywood episodes features [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhEO1LUL6V0 a game of Press Conference]] in which Colin has given birth to Clive's love child. It's just as hilarious as it sounds, all the way from Greg laughing at the card before anyone else knows what it is, to Colin finally figuring it out...
-->'''Greg''': Was it a natural childbirth, or was it in a manner of his own choosing?\\
'''Colin''': It was very painful...and it was in the style of a hoedown.
** An even funnier bit (only the second question):
---> '''Ryan:''' ''Why?''\\
'''Colin''' ''(slaps the podium)'': This was something I felt that would benefit generations that came after me! (Clive nods in agreement) And that is why as it was happening, I documented it on film, and it now will be shown in many schools!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Questions Only]]
* The entirety of Stephen Fry's last episode, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr3xq1-Su3M especially the Questions Only game "Scenes from Ancient Rome"]].
-->'''Josie''': "Are you going to the Parthenon tonight?"\\
'''Stephen''' (''after floundering and being buzzed out''): "Could you tell her the Parthenon's in Athens?"\\
'''Josie''' (''to Ryan, replacing Stephen''): "Is the Parthenon in Athens?"\\
'''Ryan''': "Would you like to buy a map?"
** HilariousInHindsight when you consider Series/{{QI}}. "They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is..."
* Mike also kissed Brad Sherwood in a game of "Questions Only" that he essentially ran the table (Colin, on the same side of the stage as him, didn't get ''one'' line).
-->'''Brad''': [[OhCrap Are you going to kiss me]]?\\
'''Mike''': Am I going to give you a tongue lashing? Oh, yes! YES! (plants a ''huge'' kiss on Brad as the StudioAudience erupts in riotous cheering)\\
'''Brad''': O_O\\
''('''buzz''')''\\
'''Clive''': I'm buzzing you out Brad, to spare you any further embarrassment. ''[Exit Brad]''\\
''(Ryan Stiles come in, but only takes one step onto the stage.)''\\
'''Mike''': ''(grinning)'' Are you next?\\
'''Ryan''': ...\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
''[[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Exit Ryan]]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scene to Music]]
* In one of the deleted scenes from the UK show, Tony and Steve performed a "Scene to Music" involving a father sending his son out to buy washing powder. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdKcmjLMO4k The result was nothing short of brilliant.]]
-->'''Tony:''' But will it wash my sins away as well as my underpants?\\
'''Steve:''' [[LargeHam I KNOW NOT!]] [[MundaneMadeAwesome FOR SURELY I AM A HUMBLE MAN THAT WASHES CLOTHES FOR MY SON!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scene to Rap]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/wRjN6GysdFM?t=30s The Scenes To Rap about a hotel.]]
* One "Scene to Rap" set at a zoo featured Ryan as a nudist.
--> '''Ryan''': (rapping) Well, I'm a nudist, I walk around the zoo, I find that's what the other animals ''want'' me to do! Walkin' round like this, it takes some guts, I'm going to go to the monkeys and give 'em some nuts.
** Then moments later...
--> '''Colin''': (rapping) I'm the security guard right here, What's this guy, is he... weird? Standing there, showing all his parts, 'cmon there, buddy, whoo, what a fart. I tell you this is really bad, the state of the zoo is really sad, we can't have naked people running 'round like this, 'scuse me, please, I gotta take a piss.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scenes From a Hat]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVmjuiNf9vg Scenes from a Hat]]: "A Weight Watchers Convention".
-->'''Paul''' (''to Josie Lawrence''): No luck then?\\
'''Josie''': (''grabs Paul while laughing'') I'm going to fucking kill you.
** To be fair, Paul and Ryan had been ripping on Josie a fair bit earlier, including [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmSk-_rfZ8 a preemptive suggestion involving porno and a scene involving a prison riot]]:
--->"More women in this prison or we riot!... We want a prettier one!"
* "Scenes from a Hat" suggestion: "Fortune Cookies that tell the truth"
--> '''Greg:''' (reading out loud from imaginary paper) "You're a cheap bastard and you won't leave a tip". '''HEY!'''
* In one game of Scenes From A Hat, the suggestion was "What Hell looks like." [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XflAv9afn4&t=2m48s See for yourself.]]
-->'''Greg:''' *walks out* [[spoiler:His neck is tucked in as if he's about to impersonate Clive.]]\\
'''Clive:''' *buzz*\\
'''Greg:''' *DeathGlare*
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Song Styles]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eovSNgHJSU SPONGEMAN!!!]]
* In one "Song Styles", Mike is given the the style of ragtime, and the subject is a syringe. This is amusing in itself (he immediately [[LowestCommonDenominator turns it into a ditty about heroin usage]]), but he actually manages to mislead Richard Vranch, who stops playing after the fourth measure like he's used to doing. Mike turns and looks at him, ''while still singing on-beat'', and the music starts back up and they finish together as normal. Clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-9278PxUOQ&t=4m25s here.]]
* Mike's German drinking song about – wait for it – a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB0Ev1y-QWM&t=8m38s little red triangle.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Sound Effects]]
* The premiere's "Sound Effects" would provide a taste of things to come as Paul decided to mess around with Archie Hahn on the mike - the scene was just "getting dressed" but Paul went on to play with the mirror cabinet, turning on the hot and cold water, flushing the toilet, and even turning on the radio...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Superheroes]]
* Greg as Super Teddy Bear, which is both cute and hilarious.
* Colin as Captain Buttocks/Promiscuous Man. The name alone is gold.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Whose Line]]
* From a playing of "Whose Line?": Ryan is driving a car before being pulled over by policeman Brad. As Brad pulls out the second piece of paper he reads from, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYdnRZF8YLI he visibly stifles his laughter upon reading it]].
--> '''Brad:''' You know, the last time I saw a guy like you, he tried to get out of it (a ticket) by saying, [reads his line] "Grab me, [stifles] big boy, and kiss me like there's no tomorrow!"\\
'''Clive:''' (after the sketch ends) Those lines fit in almost ''too'' well.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:World's Worst]]
* Colin makes an awesome crack at Clive in World's Worst.
--> "I'm Clive Anderson and I used to have no neck. But with new Neck Insert...Look!"
[[/folder]]
----
----
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:In General]]
* There was somewhat of a RunningGag featuring Tony in the early series. During a game of Props, his partner introduced himself/herself as someone (usually ''That's Life!'' presenter Esther Rantzen or newsreader and ''Desert Island Discs'' presenter Sue Lawley), followed by Tony ''pretending to throw up into the prop''.
** One of his earlier examples of this RunningGag during Props, he shrieks and actually pretends to club himself upside the head with the prop when Josie announced she was Anne Diamond.
* After Paul calls Clive a "Slaphead"
-->'''Clive:''' (looks at camera) I am sad to announce the untimely death of Paul Merton (laughter) at my hands.\\
'''Paul:''' I lasted longer than your hair did, though, didn't I!
* When Greg and Clive had an argument, you knew that you were very lucky and had to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOkYG7kbe9g#t=30s treasure]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OsLTtHybnI#t=11s it]] for the rest of your life.
-->'''Clive''': You'll have to act as...hamsters. Yes, hamst-\\
'''Greg''': What's wrong with you?! Hamsters! Get some friends!\\
'''Clive''': The hamsters ''are'' my friends.
** Or:
-->'''Clive''': (after getting the suggestion of "perishing elastics") Elastic is a substance we have over here that stretches. It perishes and things fall down and things go wrong.\\
'''Greg:''' When's it gonna stop, huh? The aggression?\\
'''Clive:''' When you give us our colonies back.\\
'''Greg:''' ''Your'' colonies. ''Clive's'' colonies.
** Most of the Clive/Greg arguments involve Clive making a snide remark about America being supposedly too backward to have something:
--->'''Clive:''' In this scene you're a sports commentator - you have sport in America, don't you?\\
'''Greg:''' Yes, and sometimes we ''beat'' the Germans. ''(audience cheers/boos)'' It's 'cause we never play them!\\
'''Clive:''' Well, in the war, when you join in... ''(audience cheers wildly)'' I don't think the Germans play baseball, do they?\\
'''Greg:''' I'd love to chat, but I'm a little busy doing an improv show.\\
'''Clive:''' Have you worked out what the simple words mean yet?\\
'''Greg:''' Yes I have, Mr. A.\\
'''Clive:''' Jolly good.\\
'''Greg:''' Maybe you're confusing this with your other show where you just talk, talk, talk and never let anyone else. ''(audience cheers wildly again)''
** Sometimes this backfires.
--->'''Clive''': You are in a uh...holdup. That's the only word I know. You have those in America, don't you?\\
'''Greg''': Yeah. We invented it!
* Perhaps the best Clive/Greg exchange:
--> '''Clive''': What superhero should Greg be? (audience member shouts "Useless Man") "Useless Man"? (another audience member shouts "Caterpillar Man") "Caterpillar Man", that kind of, gives him more to play with. Useless is... kind of what he is. I didn't mean that. Caterpillar Man is very good. What is the problem? (audience member shouts "Pants are too small!") Pants are too small? We've done that haven't we?\\
'''Greg''': If we did, I'm sure it was [[SarcasmMode fraught with hilarity!]]\\
'''Clive''': Well, with that challenge, let's go ahead... pants are too small...\\
'''Greg''': Who am I?\\
'''Clive''': You're Captain Caterpillar.\\
'''Greg''': Captain Caterpillar?\\
'''Clive''': You can bring elements of Useless Man, if you want.\\
'''Greg''': I'll be Captain Caterpillar, and you just sit there and be Useless Man like usual.\\
'''Clive''': Oh, you're winning tonight, as I can see. So, you might metamorphosise into something-\\
'''Greg''': Is it about time to make some kind of inappropriate American reference here?\\
'''Clive''': Not yet, you do the show. Yank.\\
'''Greg''': I can take a hit, if you-\\
'''Clive''': GET ON WITH IT, GREG!!!
* Clive inverts this gag for the American audience for the last British series, which was filmed in Hollywood.
--> '''Clive:''' Suggest a gameshow, like ''Series/WheelOfFortune''.\\
'''Rather unoriginal audience member:''' ''[[Film/{{UHF}} Wheel of Fish]]''.\\
'''Clive:''' I think we have that in England.
** And again:
---> '''Clive:''' I just have to explain to the British audience what "[=ATMs=]" are. We call them 'hole-in-the-wall machines' in England. ''(TruthInTelevision)''
* Mike kissing Tony in a blooper from Season 3, rendering him completely speechless.
* Also the time Clive needs suggestions from the audience for a global disaster; among other things, the microphones pick up "an asteroid's about to crash into the earth" and "RichardNixon comes back from the dead." The decision is obvious:
-->'''Clive''': There's a jam shortage! Okay, so--\\
'''Greg''': WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO?!\\
'''Mike''': Who are you receiving your suggestions from, British Telecom?!\\
'''Greg''': There's GOLD coming from over here!
* Whenever Clive comments on audience members' suggestions for styles, such as this one where an audience member shouts "Sex ed film!"
--> '''Clive''': Right. Is that an audio placing, or are you...? You've seen a few of those, haven't you? I can tell by the way you're squinting.
* In one episode, Clive picked out a woman from the audience to help with "Moving People". The lady admitted she'd never seen the show before, and Clive asked, "What'd you come along for then? What were you expecting? [[SelfDeprecation Something a bit funnier than this?]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Authors]]
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgXIrfxQpKw game of Authors]] where Tony's style was ComicStrip/RupertBear. He had the last turn of the round...
-->'''Steve Steen''' (''as Andrew Morton''): I tell you, I was so depressed I threw myself and tried to impale myself on Barbara Cartland's eyelashes... (''buzz'')\\
'''Paul Merton''' (''Hello!'' magazine): Barbara Cartland, [[BlatantLies can there be a more respected woman in Great Britain?]] (''buzz'')\\
'''Tony''' (''clearly thinking hard''): Barbara Cartland, witch and hag, too much makeup, fascist bag.
** The best is the blank look on his face while he's saying it, followed by the grin as soon as the buzzer goes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bartender]]
* Mike tending bar for Ryan, who has [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC_fjRKFwCo&t=3m18s been invited to the Queen's garden party.]]
* "Don't mess with the Neon Love Chicken!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Daytime Talk Show]]
* In one of the Los Angeles episodes, the subject of one "Daytime Talk Show" was Cinderella. For some reason, Catherine O'Hara gave her character a strange voice (sort of like she was toothless), to the point where Greg had to interrupt her to say that he found her voice hilarious.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dead Bodies]]
* Ryan, Greg and guest Rory Bremner all have to pretend to be dead actors, with Colin as the only remaining living one battling on by moving them around and dubbing their voices. Ryan and Rory are cowboys, Greg's an Indian princess. Towards the end Colin has Rory say "Look, I think we all ought to have one big kiss" and there's a great moment where dead Rory 'wakes up' and has a "what the hell is going on" look in his eyes.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dubbing]]
* Ryan and Steve Frost voice over two military guys in a room with a giant map on the wall - the first thing they do is [[FailedASpotCheck complain about how they can't find the map,]] up until the end.
--> '''Steve''': [[NeverMyFault What a stupid place to put a bloody map!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Duet]]
* A duet between Mike [=McShane=] and Josie Lawrence that veered onto the subject of puking in swimming pools and ended like this:
-->'''Josie:''' Don't worry, honey, relaxo. We won't really be sick, we'll use Paxo.\\
'''Mike:''' ''[gamely singing his heart out]'' That's a good idea, [[FishOutOfWater what the hell is Paxo]]?
** It's food stuffing, for those who don't know.
* Mike and Josie really had excellent chemistry, not to mention one of the best pair of singing voices, as demonstrated in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgC0Aph2UDc a love song about a cat litter tray.]] Yes. Absolutely genius lyrics here, "Whoever thought that feline defecation/Could be such a swell and singular sensation" One of the best Song Styles ever.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Expert]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH2gaCZmEtA&t=1m48s One]] of the few sessions of ''Expert'', where one player interviews an expert on an obscure subject. Greg and Ryan are in it, and the subject given by the audience is taxidermy - after which Ryan [[BlackComedy spends the entire game completely rigid and staring into space.]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome He doesn't even BLINK.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Expert Translation]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBK1rMmoANI Josie's fluid and convincing faux-Albanian]] is otherwise... ''marred'' by Jim's "interpretation".
** Compare with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwuT1wQFvl4 this later one.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film & Theatre Styles]]
* Whenever Paul and Tony are together in Film and Theatre Styles, you know you're going to experience a trainwreck of insanity. For example:
** First time together, in Greek tragedy style:
--->'''Tony''': The problem is that the builder has been murdered, Off-stage! (''laughter'')\\
'''Paul''': Not Stavrost, surely!\\
'''Tony''': No, Escalus, with a knife, dripping in the Mediterranean sun, he plastered his bricks and died.\\
'''Paul''': [[NotEvenBotheringWithTheAccent That's rather unlucky in Peckham isn't it?]]
** From Season 4:
--->'''Tony:''' (''mimes pouring a pint from a tap as a bartender''): Oh, I'll just put the cat down. (''puts the "cat" down, while Paul just stares at him'') What shall-?\\
'''Paul''' (''to Jim and Steve''): I can't work with this!\\
'''Tony''': What can I do you for? Ice in a slicer?\\
'''Paul''': Hang on, I'll just put down this cactus. (''does so'') Oh look, I better take this bazooka out of me pocket, (''does so'') and I'll get out of the helicopter. (''does so'')
** In Shakespeare style:
--->'''Paul''' (''speaking in a weird accent''): I would like to acquire some of this ale that I see displayed before me in various bottles of various hues.\\
'''Tony''' (''incredulously''): That's Bela Lugosi! (''laughter'') So, have you-\\
'''Paul''': I not know of this Hammy-era Horror actor of which you speak!\\
'''Tony''': My liege, you're fucked!
** Season 5 (final episode Paul was in):
--->'''Clive''' (''buzzes''): Horror.\\
'''Tony''': What a horrible suit! (''laughter and applause, Paul looks annoyed'')\\
'''Paul''': That's-that's good coming from somebody who's dressed up as Doc Holliday!
*** Followed by Clive interrupting because "this is just lapsing into personal abuse," to which Paul replies, "You shut your face!" Also, right at the beginning of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE-Ut2TTJVs that one]], Tony does an over-the-top pleading not to be locked up because he's innocent, prompting Paul to say, "I think you're as guilty as hell!"
** In Film Noir style:
--->'''Tony: (mimes smoking)''' Yes, it's interesting the way the-\\
'''Paul:''' Hang on, where'd the cigarette come from?! (Tony laughs) What's all this?! (Mimes Tony's "smoking" gestures) Excuse me while I just get on me moped! (Pretends to ride one, causing Tony to crack up. Does the smoking gesture again. Turns to Jim and Steve) You see that, what's all that?
* The [[DorkAge early seasons]] had a lot of in-between banter compared to the usual, but [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th3sdcVxw28&t=2m18s this]] interruption of a ''Film TV Theater Styles'' stood out.
--> '''Clive:''' Now do it InTheStyleOf a [[GuiltyPleasures blue movie]]... maybe you've seen a few (sotto) maybe even ''been'' in a few...\\
'''Josie:''' [[{{Adorkable}} Shurrup, me mum and dad am in!]]
* From the British version there's one "Film and Theater styles" with Ryan and Colin in which they have to do the scene in the Shakespearean style. The look on the faces of Tony and Steve in the background while Ryan says his line is also hilarious.
-->'''Clive''': Shakespeare.\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Ryan''': The sky. The sky behind the door is ''blooooo''.\\
'''Colin''': Aye, it 'tis blue! ''[silence]''\\
''(Buzz)''\\
'''Clive''': That's the worst Shakespeare I've ever heard! ''(cracks up)'' Here, I'll give you something a little [[BlatantLies easier]] for you – Japanese Noh Theater.\\
'''Ryan''': ''(groans under his breath)''
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWNhyzUWmNI&t=3m03s Here it is.]] Enjoy.
** And for added kicks, the Shakespearean line Ryan says? It's in Iambic Pentameter.
* The better part of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmxrBUo3wa0#t=2m54s this Film And Theatre Styles playing]] involves Ryan making a total fool of himself for the enjoyment of all involved.
--> "We'll keep going till we get to [[OohMeAccentsSlipping an accent Ryan can do]]."
* Griff Rhys-Jones and John Sessions [[http://youtu.be/kvuPt4sskTI?t=6m45s act out a silent movie]] a la Creator/CharlieChaplin. John hands Griff his shoe. [[Film/TheGoldRush He "eats"]] [[EatingShoes it]]. John hands him his sock. Griff ''[[IAteWhat literally]]'' eats it.
* Caroline Quentin: one that isn't quite so overshadowed from the shock value, where she and Josie are portraying female Arctic explorers... the first thing they do is ''complain about the weather and how it's drying their hair and everything.''
* One of the styles suggested for a playing by Colin and Ryan is "One Man Show", to which Clive points out the obvious flaw...
--> '''Clive:''' What, are they going to ''shoot'' the other one?
** Then, of course, he actually gives it to them later on, so Ryan walks off to leave Colin on his own giving an inner monologue...
---> '''Colin:''' I remember the sewers... ''(DramaticPause)'' Nineteen-forty-five! ''(DramaticPause)'' ...That's all I remember!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film Dub]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQlL-blPkD0 This]] Film Dub between Paul and Julian Clary.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzOJ17h-Rhs Meet the Jimmy Savile of ancient China.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film Trailer]]
* Film Trailer: ''The Revenge of the Sheep Shearer''. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GFs3DTiJC0 "I split my pants, look!"]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Helping Hands]]
* Probably [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB1vZ-5hLpc the first game Ryan had to eat something repulsive.]] It's a RunningGag that lasts to this day.
* ''"Brie & wine together! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_89JZJou1U What could be better]]??"''
** "[[{{Trolling}} I hear there's this marvelous trick which you do, which is putting a whole brie in your mouth!]]"
* Paul trying to snort baby powder during Helping Hands with Ryan (and Greg as the hands) scolding him, then smacking him with the baby powder.
* One playing of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6p2gvm3t6s "Helping Hands"]] featured Tony Slattery providing the hands for Josie Lawrence as she plays an air hostess. However, he seems to having a little too much fun with his hands (Grabbing Josie's breasts, sticking his fingers in her mouth, making sexual gestures, opening a tupperware box of salad all over the desk) and poor Josie just cracks up while trying and failing to maintain her composure. At one point he picks up a baby doll and smudges its face with a small cake prompting Josie to say:
-->'''Josie''': Oh, and if you've got a baby on the plane, we always like to put... a cake on its head.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hats]]
* In a game of ''Hats'' with a world's worst dating agency videos theme, Ryan repeatedly wears the same one, a jockey's cap where he gives a Murray Walker-style commentary ("It's Breast ahead of Penis, Penis coming up there quickly on the inside!"). That's not the CMOF; the CMOF is when he interrupts this by sitting down with a giant unsteady hat piled with plastic fruit:
-->'''Ryan''': ''(After a long pause)'' ...I really have nothing to say...I just like wearing this.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hoedown]]
* Tony's "Hoedown" about excessive drinking, which consisted of just pulling a handkerchief out of his mouth. The only lines he actually sings are "[[OrphanedPunchline and then I cut it off]]!" at the very end.
* During the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2jdY5G7hE "Sex" Hoedown]], Greg opened up with this (with Tony on the end):
--> '''Greg:''' Oh, I'm a randy bugger, I really get around!/I like to have a shag with everyone in town./I have lots of fun, I'm as happy as can be!/ and that's 'cos my name is Tony Slattery!
* Colin's verse in the Coffee hoedown.
* Greg's verse in the Colin hoedown.
* Colin seemed to develop a RunningGag where he'd get out of finishing his verse in a Hoedown by [[KilledMidSentence having some form of heart attack]] if the subject allowed it, such as eating too much on Christmas or wearing pants so tight it cut off his blood circulation.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Improbable Mission]]
* An earlier playing of Improbable Mission from the UK version: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzab5JTkl_k The way Ryan reacts to Colins out-of-the-blue statement "My God, she's gonna go off!" is absolutely priceless]].
** What really tears it is someone in the audience making ''jungle animal noises'' when Ryan starts using the "machete".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Let's Make a Date]]
* ''Let's Make a Date'' with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrH28LslpWM Stephen as a "trendy vicar"]]; not just for the way he slips comfortably into the role and throws in an EyesAlwaysShut tic for effect, but for the way he holds it all together with aplomb while beside Colin Mochrie as someone who "[[UnfortunateImplications hates everything English]]".
-->'''Colin''': Everyone drinks tea in [Creator/JaneAusten detective novels]! What is it with [[SpotOfTea tea]]? What is it with tea?! I've passed stronger urine samples than that! Now coffee--now THERE's a drink! Coffee! I need one right now!
* In one playing, Colin hated everything English. It's hilarious.
* In one playing, Colin's quirk is that he fancies the other two contestants, which he further interprets as completely ignoring Josie while he stares laviciously at them (and even absent-mindedly threatening to push her out of a window). When it comes time to guess:
-->'''Josie:''' Colin...Colin reminds me of a bloke I used to go out with, actually!
* In one of the "taped in L.A." episodes from the last season, Phil [=LaMarr=] played Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger as a stand-up comic ("Chuckles aplenty."), while Ryan played an impatient driver who gets stuck in traffic, shouting "LET'S GO!" at the top of his lungs and getting miffed at people who don't wave when he lets them into his lane. Anyone who's lived in a big city can relate to his quirk.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:News Report]]
* Non singing example, during a game of News Report (the precursor to Weird Newscasters and Newsflash, Mike plays the roll of Little Bo Peep (in his normal voice), then as Mary Mary, Quite Contrary (with a more feminine voice). As Little Bo, he makes this comment when Josie, as the reporter on the scene, asks what happened with her sheep going missing:
-->'''Mike''': It didn’t happen at all! I went out in the back to take a piss, I came back out- (realizes what he just said, cracks up) I don’t believe I just said that! I was out drinking with the sheep.\\
[''later'']\\
'''Ryan''': Of course (the sheep) would leave! Full-grown 200-pound man pissing on ya, wouldn't you want to leave?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Newsflash]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zlD4O7kaOE This]] early ''Newsflash'' game should put an end to the 'stuffy British humor' arguments...
** Not to mention, the Newsflash from the first episode of season 9 - featuring fully nude women. Lots of them. Running and bouncing. (Poor Greg seems to have a bit of a problem in his pants during this game!)
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Number of Words]]
* In a playing of ''Number of Words'', Colin has to say five words each time and Ryan can only say one. They play off each other brilliantly to get around this problem.
-->'''Colin:''' I'll go, you create a...\\
'''Ryan:''' Diversion?
* After a particularly [[SoBadItsGood bad]] playing, an amused Clive reminded everyone (but particularly Steven Frost): "I think the idea is to make sentences with three words, not just go three words and ''stop''."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Old Job, New Job]]
* A certain quirk in the game Old Job New Job gets [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwhHQRVzSIk played right to the hilt.]]
** "I think Steve wins that for coming up with the [[IncrediblyLamePun funniest crack of the night.]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Party Quirks]]
* The British version has some really great ones, including some classic Party Quirks. One being where Tony Slattery was unable to guess two of the quirks and, after Clive Anderson noted that this was his worst playing of the game, Tony responded by screaming [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J60jMh2JDGw "Oh, well, FUCK OFF!"]], causing Clive to take away all the points Tony had ever got since then. The other being the Party Quirk where Ryan was a toddler learning to walk and Josie Lawrence was [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7trNEapWKo a penis]], the actions the two did caused Tony to crack up hysterically.
** Tony realizing that Ryan's Party Quirk was being a sperm cell. "OH MY GOD [[BigNo NOOOO!]]"
* Tony Slattery. Party Quirks. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_eEAo-SSBE Chippendale.]]
-->'''Paul''': You've come as Tony Slattery!
* The Party Quirks game when Clive accidentally hit the buzzer instead of the doorbell.
-->'''Paul''': Excuse me, there's somebody at the microwave.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Press Conference]]
* One of the Hollywood episodes features [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhEO1LUL6V0 a game of Press Conference]] in which Colin has given birth to Clive's love child. It's just as hilarious as it sounds, all the way from Greg laughing at the card before anyone else knows what it is, to Colin finally figuring it out...
-->'''Greg''': Was it a natural childbirth, or was it in a manner of his own choosing?\\
'''Colin''': It was very painful...and it was in the style of a hoedown.
** An even funnier bit (only the second question):
---> '''Ryan:''' ''Why?''\\
'''Colin''' ''(slaps the podium)'': This was something I felt that would benefit generations that came after me! (Clive nods in agreement) And that is why as it was happening, I documented it on film, and it now will be shown in many schools!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Questions Only]]
* The entirety of Stephen Fry's last episode, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr3xq1-Su3M especially the Questions Only game "Scenes from Ancient Rome"]].
-->'''Josie''': "Are you going to the Parthenon tonight?"\\
'''Stephen''' (''after floundering and being buzzed out''): "Could you tell her the Parthenon's in Athens?"\\
'''Josie''' (''to Ryan, replacing Stephen''): "Is the Parthenon in Athens?"\\
'''Ryan''': "Would you like to buy a map?"
** HilariousInHindsight when you consider Series/{{QI}}. "They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is..."
* Mike also kissed Brad Sherwood in a game of "Questions Only" that he essentially ran the table (Colin, on the same side of the stage as him, didn't get ''one'' line).
-->'''Brad''': [[OhCrap Are you going to kiss me]]?\\
'''Mike''': Am I going to give you a tongue lashing? Oh, yes! YES! (plants a ''huge'' kiss on Brad as the StudioAudience erupts in riotous cheering)\\
'''Brad''': O_O\\
''('''buzz''')''\\
'''Clive''': I'm buzzing you out Brad, to spare you any further embarrassment. ''[Exit Brad]''\\
''(Ryan Stiles come in, but only takes one step onto the stage.)''\\
'''Mike''': ''(grinning)'' Are you next?\\
'''Ryan''': ...\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
''[[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Exit Ryan]]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scene to Music]]
* In one of the deleted scenes from the UK show, Tony and Steve performed a "Scene to Music" involving a father sending his son out to buy washing powder. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdKcmjLMO4k The result was nothing short of brilliant.]]
-->'''Tony:''' But will it wash my sins away as well as my underpants?\\
'''Steve:''' [[LargeHam I KNOW NOT!]] [[MundaneMadeAwesome FOR SURELY I AM A HUMBLE MAN THAT WASHES CLOTHES FOR MY SON!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scene to Rap]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/wRjN6GysdFM?t=30s The Scenes To Rap about a hotel.]]
* One "Scene to Rap" set at a zoo featured Ryan as a nudist.
--> '''Ryan''': (rapping) Well, I'm a nudist, I walk around the zoo, I find that's what the other animals ''want'' me to do! Walkin' round like this, it takes some guts, I'm going to go to the monkeys and give 'em some nuts.
** Then moments later...
--> '''Colin''': (rapping) I'm the security guard right here, What's this guy, is he... weird? Standing there, showing all his parts, 'cmon there, buddy, whoo, what a fart. I tell you this is really bad, the state of the zoo is really sad, we can't have naked people running 'round like this, 'scuse me, please, I gotta take a piss.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scenes From a Hat]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVmjuiNf9vg Scenes from a Hat]]: "A Weight Watchers Convention".
-->'''Paul''' (''to Josie Lawrence''): No luck then?\\
'''Josie''': (''grabs Paul while laughing'') I'm going to fucking kill you.
** To be fair, Paul and Ryan had been ripping on Josie a fair bit earlier, including [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmSk-_rfZ8 a preemptive suggestion involving porno and a scene involving a prison riot]]:
--->"More women in this prison or we riot!... We want a prettier one!"
* "Scenes from a Hat" suggestion: "Fortune Cookies that tell the truth"
--> '''Greg:''' (reading out loud from imaginary paper) "You're a cheap bastard and you won't leave a tip". '''HEY!'''
* In one game of Scenes From A Hat, the suggestion was "What Hell looks like." [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XflAv9afn4&t=2m48s See for yourself.]]
-->'''Greg:''' *walks out* [[spoiler:His neck is tucked in as if he's about to impersonate Clive.]]\\
'''Clive:''' *buzz*\\
'''Greg:''' *DeathGlare*
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Song Styles]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eovSNgHJSU SPONGEMAN!!!]]
* In one "Song Styles", Mike is given the the style of ragtime, and the subject is a syringe. This is amusing in itself (he immediately [[LowestCommonDenominator turns it into a ditty about heroin usage]]), but he actually manages to mislead Richard Vranch, who stops playing after the fourth measure like he's used to doing. Mike turns and looks at him, ''while still singing on-beat'', and the music starts back up and they finish together as normal. Clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-9278PxUOQ&t=4m25s here.]]
* Mike's German drinking song about – wait for it – a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB0Ev1y-QWM&t=8m38s little red triangle.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Sound Effects]]
* The premiere's "Sound Effects" would provide a taste of things to come as Paul decided to mess around with Archie Hahn on the mike - the scene was just "getting dressed" but Paul went on to play with the mirror cabinet, turning on the hot and cold water, flushing the toilet, and even turning on the radio...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Superheroes]]
* Greg as Super Teddy Bear, which is both cute and hilarious.
* Colin as Captain Buttocks/Promiscuous Man. The name alone is gold.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Whose Line]]
* From a playing of "Whose Line?": Ryan is driving a car before being pulled over by policeman Brad. As Brad pulls out the second piece of paper he reads from, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYdnRZF8YLI he visibly stifles his laughter upon reading it]].
--> '''Brad:''' You know, the last time I saw a guy like you, he tried to get out of it (a ticket) by saying, [reads his line] "Grab me, [stifles] big boy, and kiss me like there's no tomorrow!"\\
'''Clive:''' (after the sketch ends) Those lines fit in almost ''too'' well.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:World's Worst]]
* Colin makes an awesome crack at Clive in World's Worst.
--> "I'm Clive Anderson and I used to have no neck. But with new Neck Insert...Look!"
[[/folder]]
----
