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Added in the last funny point in Season 7.
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* Episode 23: When Tony and Cara are pursuing Jack. Jack goes into one of the sections of the warehouse and Tony attempts to follow him in. He is stopped by Jack shutting the rolling steel warehouse door. Tony responds by lifting it with a stacker lifting machine. It makes Tony seem as if he's some sort of unstoppable force.
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Italics.
Changed line(s) 157 (click to see context) from:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not America."(locks the car doors)
to:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not America."(locks " ''(locks the car doors)doors)''
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* During the 23rd hour, seconds before the helicopter Jack needs is about to land, [[JerkAss Ryan Chappelle]] gets control of CTU again and immediately recalls it, and the pilot just flies right by Jack without landing. The way Jack runs after the helicopter screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED TO LAND RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!!" is really funny to watch. It was pretty much the crowning moment of the stupidly bad luck he had all day.
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* During the 23rd 22nd hour, seconds before the helicopter Jack needs is about to land, [[JerkAss Ryan Chappelle]] gets control of CTU again and immediately recalls it, and the pilot just flies right by Jack without landing. The way Jack runs after the helicopter screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED TO LAND RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!!" is really funny to watch. It was pretty much the crowning moment of the stupidly bad luck he had all day.
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* During the 23rd hour, seconds before the helicopter Jack needs is about to land, [[JerkAss Ryan Chappelle]] gets control of CTU again and immediately recalls it, and the pilot just flies right by Jack without landing. The way Jack runs after the helicopter screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED TO LAND RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!!" is really funny to watch. It was pretty much the crowning moment of stupidly bad luck he had all day.
to:
* During the 23rd hour, seconds before the helicopter Jack needs is about to land, [[JerkAss Ryan Chappelle]] gets control of CTU again and immediately recalls it, and the pilot just flies right by Jack without landing. The way Jack runs after the helicopter screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED TO LAND RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!!" is really funny to watch. It was pretty much the crowning moment of the stupidly bad luck he had all day.
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* During the 23rd hour, seconds before the helicopter Jack needs is about to land, [[JerkAss Ryan Chappelle]] gets control of CTU again and immediately recalls it, and the pilot just flies right by Jack without landing. The way Jack runs after the helicopter screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED TO LAND RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!!" is really funny to watch. It was pretty much the crowning moment of stupidly bad luck he had all day.
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* [[TheScrappy Kim Bauer]] and the absolute inanity of her side-plots deserve a mention for being some comical juxtaposition next to the serious and actually important main plots of STOPPING A NUCLEAR BOMB, and then STOPPING [[WorldWarThree WORLD WAR III]]. To sum up Kim's day, she [[spoiler:goes from babysitting, to saving the child from her abusive father, to getting arrested, to running into the woods and encountering a [[MemeticMutation cougar]], to getting lured into a creepy guy's bomb shelter in the middle of the woods, to getting held hostage in a random store robbery, to going back to the abusive father's house and killing him.]] Yes, she seriously spends the entire season wasting our time with all of that absolute nonsense.
** The funniest part of Kim's sideplots is when she brings the child she's babysitting to CTU in the third episode at the absolute worst possible time- immediately before a bomb is about to blow up there.
-->'''Kim''': We're safe here!
-->*Bomb timer shows on the other side of the splitscreen*
** The funniest part of Kim's sideplots is when she brings the child she's babysitting to CTU in the third episode at the absolute worst possible time- immediately before a bomb is about to blow up there.
-->'''Kim''': We're safe here!
-->*Bomb timer shows on the other side of the splitscreen*
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** As he discovers the baby under her desk:
to:
** As he discovers the baby under underneath her desk:
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-->'''Sherry:''' [[spoiler:You're just a little boy, Alan! A pathetic, scrawny, sickly little boy!]]
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* Episode 10: Chappelle hears a baby (spoiler:Chase's daughter) in the presence of Chloe's workstation:
to:
* Episode 10: Chappelle hears a baby (spoiler:Chase's daughter) ([[spoiler:Chase's daughter]]) in the presence of Chloe's workstation:
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** As he discovers the baby under her desk:
-->'''Chappelle:''' Is this your child?
-->'''Chloe:''' Yes, and she hasn't been interfering with my work.
-->'''Chappelle:''' Is this your child?
-->'''Chloe:''' Yes, and she hasn't been interfering with my work.
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* Episode 10: Chappelle hears a baby (spoiler:Chase's daughter) in the presence of Chloe's workstation:
-->'''Chappelle:''' What was that?
-->'''Chloe:''' Nothing.
-->'''Chappelle:''' What was that?
-->'''Chloe:''' Nothing.
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Got to love this place.
Changed line(s) 90 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tom:''' No, Karen, I tripped over your ineptitude.
to:
-->'''Tom:''' No, Karen, I tripped over your ineptitude. And on that subject, welcome back.
* Milo asks Chloe to check Morris' breath for alcohol. Chloe does so by giving him a big kiss.
-->'''Chloe:''' He's fine.
-->'''Milo:''' Thank you.
-->'''Morris:''' Got to love this place.
* Milo asks Chloe to check Morris' breath for alcohol. Chloe does so by giving him a big kiss.
-->'''Chloe:''' He's fine.
-->'''Milo:''' Thank you.
-->'''Morris:''' Got to love this place.
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[[/folder]]
to:
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* Episode 13: Sherry's "talking" results in [[spoiler:Alan Milliken's death]].
Deleted line(s) 143 (click to see context) :
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* Almost a case of LeaningOnTheFourthWall is master terrorist Marwan's inability to figure out what to do with Behrooz Ahraz.
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-->'''Nina''': Pew-pew.
to:
-->'''Nina''': Pew-pew.Click-click.
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* Outtakes for this show are rare but the ones they did release on a TV show years back showed such gems as Victor Drazen forgetting his lines while eating next to Kim, Teri's gun slipping through her pants and a different take of [[spoiler:Nina killing Teri]].
-->'''Nina''': Pew-pew.
-->'''Nina''': Pew-pew.
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Changed line(s) 135 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Belcheck:''' Just one word. Like {{Madonna}}.
to:
-->'''Belcheck:''' Just one word. Like {{Madonna}}.{{Music/Madonna}}.
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
* Chloe offers to talk with Jack about anything he needs to. Jack reacts with a look of pure horror. Chole's face after he leaves is all, [[SarcasmMode "Well, that went well."]]
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* Chloe offers to talk with Jack about anything he needs to. Jack reacts with a look of pure horror. Chole's Chloe's face after he leaves is all, [[SarcasmMode "Well, that went well."]]"]]
* Episode 17: Jack manages to sneak underneath an oblivious terrorist. Jack raises his gun upward but, before firing, says "Hey." Terrorist looks down. BANG!
* Episode 17: Jack manages to sneak underneath an oblivious terrorist. Jack raises his gun upward but, before firing, says "Hey." Terrorist looks down. BANG!
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--> '''Myles:''' What were you doing?
to:
--> '''Myles:''' '''Miles:''' What were you doing?
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* Episode 9: As Jack drives recklessly to his rendezvous with James Nathanson, a homeless man in the background yells at him to slow down.
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* Episode 16: BigBad Abu Fayed is caught by a group of civilians, and shoots one of them before being overpowered. After Jack comes in and breaks it up, Fayed hilariously tells one of the civilians "I hope your friend is dead!" and then gets kicked in the face by Jack.
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Changed line(s) 125,126 (click to see context) from:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after first watching her son be killed]], a ''second time'' now that they're both villains!
** Also that she [[spoiler: was thrown out of a high window like her son Bran Stark in the very first episode of ''GameOfThrones'']].
** Also that she [[spoiler: was thrown out of a high window like her son Bran Stark in the very first episode of ''GameOfThrones'']].
to:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' ''Series/GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after first watching her son be killed]], a ''second time'' now that they're both villains!
** Also that she [[spoiler: was thrown out of a high window like her son Bran Stark in the very first episode of''GameOfThrones'']].''Series/GameOfThrones'']].
** Also that she [[spoiler: was thrown out of a high window like her son Bran Stark in the very first episode of
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Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
* Stephen Fry's ''marvelous'' reaction when [[spoiler:Heller returns from his attempt to sacrifice himself to end the terrorist threat, and tells the Prime Minister he's sure he would have done the same for America.]]
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* Stephen Fry's ''marvelous'' reaction when [[spoiler:Heller returns from his attempt to sacrifice himself to end the terrorist threat, and tells the Prime Minister he's sure he would have done the same for America.]]]] Earlier in the same episode, he says nothing can cause people to panic like the instruction to remain calm, which was a reference to the famous British 'Keep Calm' posters from WW2, which have attained FauxtivationalPoster status lately.
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** When [[spoiler:Steve Navarro]] is discovered to be a mole, he tries to escape by telling a security guard to lock down the building. Jack then doesn't even try to reason with the guy, and just knocks him out.
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Changed line(s) 133 (click to see context) from:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not your country."(locks the car doors)
to:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not your country.America."(locks the car doors)
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Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after firs watching her son be killed]], a ''second time'' now that they're both villains!
to:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after firs first watching her son be killed]], a ''second time'' now that they're both villains!
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Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to ''again'' see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after firs watching her son be killed]], now that they're both villains!
to:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to ''again'' see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die just after firs watching her son be killed]], a ''second time'' now that they're both villains!
Changed line(s) 133 (click to see context) from:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not your country."
to:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not your country.""(locks the car doors)
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* On a meta level, it's pretty hilariously awesome to see the villains be defeated because ''they're'' the ones setting up a perimeter for once.
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Changed line(s) 128 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Heller:''' So what's your name?
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Changed line(s) 131 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Belcheck:''' Just one word. Like {{Madonna}}
to:
-->'''Belcheck:''' Just one word. Like {{Madonna}}{{Madonna}}.
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** And that her daughter Simone looks a lot like Sansa Stark!
Changed line(s) 127 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Heller:''' So what's your name?
to:
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Changed line(s) 126,127 (click to see context) from:
[[/folder]]
to:
-->'''Heller:''' So what's your name?
-->'''Belcheck:''' Belcheck.
-->'''Heller:''' 'Belcheck' what?
-->'''Belcheck:''' Just one word. Like {{Madonna}}
** And when Heller asks Belcheck to take him back to his hotel, he refuses under orders from Jack and Heller pulls rank by saying he's the President of the United States, Belcheck smiles and says:
-->"I'm not an American citizen and this is not your country."
[[/folder]]
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** Also that she [[spoiler: was thrown out of a high window like her son Bran Stark in the very first episode of ''GameOfThrones'']].
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Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to again see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die a ''second'' time just after firs watching her son be killed]].
to:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to again ''again'' see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die a ''second'' time just after firs watching her son be killed]].killed]], now that they're both villains!
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Changed line(s) 124 (click to see context) from:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die a ''second'' time just after firs watching her son be killed]].
to:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to again see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die a ''second'' time just after firs watching her son be killed]].
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Added DiffLines:
* If you're a ''GameOfThrones'' fan it was fun for a change and less traumatic to see Michelle Fairley [[spoiler: die a ''second'' time just after firs watching her son be killed]].
