History Funny / TheGoesWrongShow

-->'''Annie:''' Where be my man penis? 'Tis ''vanishèd''!

** "And yet I am no tree! I AM THE RELEVANT TRUMPETER, ''DISGUISED!"''

'''Vanessa''': ''Nonce-''ense!

'''Dennis''': Careful not to [[AccidentalInnuendo get the two workmen too hard!]]

* Robert trying to retrieve the "stolen" one-pound note from Max's pocket with the line "How do you explain ''this?''" only to come up with a pack of bubblegum ("This hasn't been invented yet!"), a handful of milk sachets ("You're not supposed to take these from the canteen!") and part of a script for "Dr. Frog" which includes the line "Look at these medical reports, they're [[IncrediblyLamePun ribbiting]]..." ("Did you ''write'' this? This is ''DROSS!''")

** Just the fact that even in a play where things are meant to go awry, Cornley ''still screws it up''.

* All of the hilarious inconsistency with [[AnachronismStew the history]] of the plot. Which pays off with one of the final lines revealing this WWII drama has been taking place in ''1961''.

'''Sandra:''' You have no idea what this looks like!

-->'''Vanessa:''' ''(out of character)'' No, you don't!

--->'''Robert:''' Now Carmichael, I have to tell you about something that happened to me on my way here. I came out me front door, and there were two '''[CENSORED]''' down in there, s'''[CENSORED]''' with '''[CENSORED]''', then ch'''[CENSORED]''' right up the cloisters!\\
'''Robert:''' I'm telephoning the Vatican, and when they get hold of you, you'll be sorrier than I was when I saw the Pope '''[CENSORED]''', I said '''[CENSORED]''' broad buttocks!"

* The second repeat has Robert rewrite Chris's dialogue to be more and more humiliating, before he gives up on insulting him in the third repeat when everything's going south for him.

* Robert’s attempts to get the Sheperds to give his halo back.

* At the start of part two, Chris says that seven people wrote in to say they enjoyed the show… [[DamnedByFaintPraise along with several thousand others writing in]].

-->'''Robert:''' Tonight, everything will be [[Malaproper perfrect.]] [[DoubleTake Perfrect? Perfect.]] Sorry, that ''was'' an error! There'll be no more errors.

* The censorship bleeping of Dennis' racier lines, (or as Chris' mother calls it, Scottish Language) is a few seconds too early or late. Made more funny by the fact that the level of "racy" is limited to mild "hell"s and "damn"s.

** She ends up running out of water by the time she has to help Dennis look like he's crying, deciding to splash hot coffee on him instead to send him into anguish.

* Sandra and Annie's conversation as the others struggle to get Dennis and his wheel chair into the 90 Degree boardroom.

* Renee attempts a tryst with Larry in the study--meaning while while Max is sitting at the top of the set, Vanessa has to try and sit on the vertical table to kiss him. She quickly loses her grip and falls backwards, which gives a surreal air to the dialogue when Sandra opens the sideways door to "catch" them.

'''Robert:''' £3.49? What is this, the cinema?! Absolutely not, I'll put them back.\\

'''Robert:''' ''(panting heavily)'' Alright, I think I lost him. Where the hell am I? I'm lost. Ah, should be safe in here. ''(proceeds to open the door back into the living room set without noticing and enters)''

* The desert backdrop eventually turning to a blank piece of paper, followed by an argument between Chris and Trevor.

* Jonathan's Herod costume gets snagged in the revolving throne when its spin goes out of control, leaving him completely naked and [[HandOrObjectUnderwear having to turn the stuck throne back around without exposing himself]].
* The cast trying to sing "Little Town of Bethlehem", only for Dennis to drop Chris's sheet music, mixing it up.
* Trevor gets stuck in the set, so Mary recognises him as John the Baptist[[note]]Who, in the Biblical account, was only a few months older than Jesus, if that[[/note]] in an attempt to make him seem like he belongs there.
* Dennis completely misunderstands the situation with the inns, resulting in him saying there ''are'' rooms, him claiming that he is Jesus Christ and the savior has been born, [[a BrickJoke return of "GET OUT!!!"]], and Robert suddenly stepping in to play the unscripted part of "the old, lonely manager" after Dennis protests that there should be one because "it's Christmas."

* The cut-outs that are supposed to represent the shepherds instead show more Wise Men.
--> '''Chris:''' Mary, Joseph, and the ''six'' Wise Men awaited the birth of baby Jesus. The Shepherds had decided to sit this one out... unless they were on the tab on the other side?\\

* Chris tries to play the piano as the fire gradually begins to consume it. Dennis brings on a blowtorch, declaring that he is "fighting fire with fire." Robert brings a fire extinguisher, which falls apart as he tries to use it. He responds by throwing it at Chris and running in the opposite direction.

* After the show, [[https://archive.org/details/781651-acbdf-1ad-81e-444cb-980570470d-3c-652d Robert is forced to read an apology consisting of all the compliance breaches that happened]] for Brookshaw Corporate Finance. Among the breaches he rattles off are "actor playing cactus killed in series of freak scene dock accidents", "[[PantomimeAnimal inaccurate depiction of donkey]]", "use of laser in biblical text", "on-set fist fight during pre-record", "on-set fist fight post-record", [[NoodleIncident "theft of doll", "use of stolen goods to represent Baby Jesus"]], "hostages taken for LaughTrack recordings", "director established as flight risk after background check", and "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking episode 14 seconds too long]]".

* Robert tyrannically demanding the show be repeated so as to have less mistakes than when Chris directed the Nativity.
* Each repeat also leads to Chris's dialogue becoming more and more humiliating as Robert takes the opportunity to rewrite it ''again.''
* The RuleOfThree of parts of the set being missing before the first scene starts. First it's the table, then it's the actors, then it's ''the house.''

(whistle)\\

(whistle)\\

** Robert's entrance goes wrong, resulting in him getting startled by the confetti firers and faceplanting into the manure wheelbarrow. Vanessa decides ''against'' hugging him because of the smell, and Chris (who Robert has cast as a manure-eater) decides to rub it in.
---> '''Chris''': But, it looks as though someone's beaten me to my supper this evening.

* Robert's rapid-fire explanation of the plot when he realizes his resets have left just six minutes left to complete the play. It involves a lot of people [[VictorianNovelDisease dying of typhoid]]. Ironically, he goes through it all ''so'' fast he actually ends up with significant time to spare. And then notices his watch is slow, so it really ''is'' the end of the show.

* Robert makes sure to follow every mention of Chris's character name, Richard, with "Dick."

* Max trolls Chris, since their characters are supposed to be exactly alike down to the way they speak, by being a deliberate LargeHam. Chris, forced by his sense of acting dignity to sacrifice his personal dignity for the show, delivers each more absurd pronunciation through clenched teeth and is ''quivering'' with rage while Max is doubled over and nearly ''crying'' with laughter. Robert, who’s snuck on stage as a tree, is also audibly exasperated at the trolling, since he’s stuck with non-speaking parts while Max blatantly abuses his role... and Max ''nods his head in agreement [[TheGadfly with a grin]].''

* Chris dropping the vial of poison after holding it by the cork, immediately after saying he approaches, "...in silence and in stealth". Trevor steps in wearing a high-vis jacket over his costume and puts plastic cones around the broken glass, and then hands Chris a bottle of soda to replace the poison. Annie is startled by having soda poured in her ear instead of the "poison", which Chris immediately apologizes for.
* After killing the king, Chris calls for a guard. Rob has been there the whole time as a picture frame, and he immediately throws it aside.

'''Vanessa:''' Prithee, but...who does Chris play?\\

'''Dennis:''' He said he was the king...methinks.\\

'''Vanessa:''' No! That's reality! Join me in ''fiction!'' In the play...who is Chris?\\

** Robert, who thus far has been making attempts to appear in the play as often as he can, eventually decides that, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere "I don't even want to be in this scene."]]

* After being crowned King (thanks to every other heir being dead, various actors being knocked out or Dennis being sent away with a BluntNo), Robert's first action is to demand Chris's execution.

* Even when the dramatic moment of Stu Malone's death ''does'' come round, the narration screws it up by playing the line, "Then he looked at me and said his last words" a second time, forcing Vanessa to retcon her last words into, "Prison...prison is a...we're in prison.", further ruining when Chris calls back to Stu's last words in a later scene.

'''Robert:''' ''(later)'' I can’t have that. Not if I want to work in ''(dramatic pause; camera zooms out to show office)'' [[VisualPun high office]].

* Chris' character has stowed some escape equipment in the showers. Unfortunately, his escape sequence has the set for the Warden's office come down, so he has to make do with a line of dental floss instead of a rope, and scissors instead of bolt cutters. Neither of these help in the next scene, requiring them to contradict a previous line about being unable to go under the wall (since the wall set also didn't come all the way down) and painfully barge through the barbed wire fence.

* Annie's costume as "Mick the Muscle” consists of a flesh-toned bodysuit with two balloons over her biceps--which burst any time they are touched. Or when she tries to flex. Later, her physique is augmented by having an air blower inflate her torso.
* Max plays a former boxer with a "jaw like a rock", so he gets a comically huge prosthetic chin that doesn't even match his skin tone. When the narration says "his jaw was on the floor!" Max giggles and pulls it off to make it a LiteralMetaphor. Max also screws with Chris while he's giving a lengthy piece of exposition by waving the jaw in front of his chin.
* Robert delighting in the "twists" of the play and breaking character to call them out, even when what just happened is not a twist.
* At one point, Chris has to explain the plot of ''Franchise/StarWars'' to an unaware Max and Robert, with the latter calling him out for spoilers.

** Trevor getting spotted on stage painting Dennis's guides the moment the curtain opens;

** Chris getting stuck inside the cocoon he's meant to emerge from, ranting and swearing about the zip. When he finally escapes, Robert gets startled and immediately shoots him with the aforementioned ChekhovsGun, before showing it off to the audience as if he totally meant to do that.

* Sandra's radio play, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial which definitely hasn't been put on as a self-indulgent piece in the wake of her being in the running to be the voice of Marks & Spencer adverts]] (although she is down to the last 80).
** Dennis' one line has him spell "Incompetent"...as "Incommpetententente". A flabbergasted Robert than has to pronounce that in-character and accept it as correct for the play to go on.
** Trevor illustrates a morning with birdsong being played on whistles, and then yelling "COCK A DOODLE DOO!" into the mic so closely that it causes the audio to peak.

-->'''Chris:''' I’m sure you’ll all agree, there’s still some cuts to be made there.

--->'''Robert:''' Now Carmichael, I have to tell you about something that happened to me on my way here. I came out me front door, and there were two '''[CENSORED]''' down in their s'''[CENSORED]''' with '''[CENSORED]''', then ch'''[CENSORED]''' right up the cloisters!\\