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**
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** So much for using color-coding to differentiate sub-objects:
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-->''Dr. Gerald was told to take an ordinary school bus full of D-class to a nearby site.''[[note]](pictured: a burning schoolbus jumping over an indeterminate number of motorcycles)[[/note]]\\
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-->''Dr. Gerald was told to take an ordinary school bus full of D-class to a nearby site. He somehow managed to end up in a demolition derby.''[[note]](pictured: a burning rocket-powered schoolbus jumping over an indeterminate number of motorcycles)[[/note]]\\on a runway)[[/note]]\\
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''A research team hypothesized that rollerblades are, technically, vehicles. We tested their hypothesis by having Gerald skate into the IRG's headquarters in Tehran. They were right.''\\
''We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.''[[note]](pictured: road signs reading [[AC:"Absolutely Nothing" "Next 22 miles"]])[[/note]]
''We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.''[[note]](pictured: road signs reading [[AC:"Absolutely Nothing" "Next 22 miles"]])[[/note]]
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''A research team hypothesized that rollerblades are, technically, vehicles. We tested their hypothesis by having Gerald skate into the IRG's ORIA's headquarters in Tehran. They were right.''\\
''We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.''[[note]](pictured: a roadsigns reading [[AC:"Absolutely Nothing" "Next 22 miles"]])[[/note]]sign that reads "Nothing")[[/note]]
''We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.''[[note]](pictured: a road
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* "How to Write an SCP" tells us that the Foundation's motto is not "Destroy, Destroy, Destroy". [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/ddd-2034 DDD-2034]] shows us what an organisation with that motto might look like.
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Wiki/ namespace clean up.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4445-j SCP-4445-J]]. Hey, wait a minute. This seems a little... [[Wiki/TVTropes familiar]].
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4445-j SCP-4445-J]]. Hey, wait a minute. This seems a little... [[Wiki/TVTropes [[Website/TVTropes familiar]].
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** Of course, that's the old Sun Launcher. The Foundation has already built a new one. Of course the other departments, including Team 10 Gazillion Nuclear Detonations All Used At Once, got jealous. The Sun Launcher team decides to add nuclear missiles to the set up, complete with self-destruct buttons easily accessible by on board faculty to activate at their leasure. [[SerialEscalation Also an entire army of D-class. Heavily armed D-class.]]
** At least one group of interest wanted said D-class army to be blind. The Sun Launcher team assures them that the vacuum of space will take care of that for them.
** At least one group of interest wanted said D-class army to be blind. The Sun Launcher team assures them that the vacuum of space will take care of that for them.
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** By the end of the article, the Foundation has become so desperate for a solution to the crisis that they resort to simply [[TheresNoKillLikeOverkill shooting the Ethereal Skeleton with an orbital railgun at relativistic speeds]]. This [[HopeSpot almost seems to work]], with the ability to reproduce being momentarily restored each time... until the third and final attempt, at which point it releases an apocalyptic attack which destroys the world by [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext turning everyone into grape soda while copyrighted music plays]]. However, the best part is what happens as the attack is unleashed: the Ethereal Skeleton opens its mouth, [[VideoGame/{{Undertale}} one of its eyes glows blue]], and it declares, in giant red text:
--->'''''[[InherentlyFunnyWords EL SEXOOOOO]]'''''
--->'''''[[InherentlyFunnyWords EL SEXOOOOO]]'''''
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* From the creator of SCP-6969, "[[LOL69 the joke is sex]]", we get its semi-sequel: [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969-j SCP-6969-J]], "[[Anime/RebuildOfEvangelion The End of Sex 6.9: You Can (Not) Reproduce]]". When the secondary Object Class is "Chokmah Balls" and the header is a parody of the ADMONITION logo reading "Site-17 [[TheStoner Dope]]well", you know you're in for a wild ride.
** Going through the article, it quickly proves itself to be a spectacular pastiche of the various ADMONITION articles (most especially the original, SCP-6820), complete with the problem having been caused by "Project ANTIFUCK" attempting to neutralize an existing SCP (in this case, 6969). There are also countless other gags which play with the typical structure of the ADMONITION articles, such as a transcript seeming to end with [=O5-6's=] dramatic one-liner only to suddenly continue with everyone booing him, or a parody of 682's defacing of the original 6820 article that simply reads "'''[[LampshadeHanging FUNNY RANDOM BOLD TEXT]]'''.
** One of the projects proposed after the End-of-Sex Scenario is first declared is to attempt to use 6659 in reverse to insert the concept of sex back into the Noosphere; however, this would require an object with a lot of symbolic connections to sex. Director Aktus suggests that they use Dr. Clef... who it turns out is at the meeting, and is ''not'' handling the idea of a world without sex very well.
--->(''A loud groan is heard from the right-side of the table. An emaciated and shriveled man raises his hand weakly. He has three eyes.'')
--->'''Dr. Clef:''' (''Repeated, indecipherable wheezing, followed by a series of desperate coughs.'')
--->'''[=O5-2=]:''' Yeesh. This really did a number on him.
--->'''Dr. Blake:''' It's only been a few hours, for fuck's sake.
** Various times, when a particular SCP is brought up, a footnote is included to give a brief summary of the anomaly and its relevance to the ongoing crisis. When SCP-2000 is brought up, however, the attached footnote simply reads "You already know about this one."
** During the final meeting of Project OVERFUCK, Dr. Whitney asks [[TheStoner Dr. Ross]] how many blunts she has, given how fast she's going through them. Dr. Ross responds that the Essophysics Department has the embodiment of weed locked up in the basement and that they milk blunts off of it; upon seeing Dr. Whitney's obvious confusion, she simply asks if Whitney really thought a ''sober'' person could come up with the idea of essophysics.
** Going through the article, it quickly proves itself to be a spectacular pastiche of the various ADMONITION articles (most especially the original, SCP-6820), complete with the problem having been caused by "Project ANTIFUCK" attempting to neutralize an existing SCP (in this case, 6969). There are also countless other gags which play with the typical structure of the ADMONITION articles, such as a transcript seeming to end with [=O5-6's=] dramatic one-liner only to suddenly continue with everyone booing him, or a parody of 682's defacing of the original 6820 article that simply reads "'''[[LampshadeHanging FUNNY RANDOM BOLD TEXT]]'''.
** One of the projects proposed after the End-of-Sex Scenario is first declared is to attempt to use 6659 in reverse to insert the concept of sex back into the Noosphere; however, this would require an object with a lot of symbolic connections to sex. Director Aktus suggests that they use Dr. Clef... who it turns out is at the meeting, and is ''not'' handling the idea of a world without sex very well.
--->(''A loud groan is heard from the right-side of the table. An emaciated and shriveled man raises his hand weakly. He has three eyes.'')
--->'''Dr. Clef:''' (''Repeated, indecipherable wheezing, followed by a series of desperate coughs.'')
--->'''[=O5-2=]:''' Yeesh. This really did a number on him.
--->'''Dr. Blake:''' It's only been a few hours, for fuck's sake.
** Various times, when a particular SCP is brought up, a footnote is included to give a brief summary of the anomaly and its relevance to the ongoing crisis. When SCP-2000 is brought up, however, the attached footnote simply reads "You already know about this one."
** During the final meeting of Project OVERFUCK, Dr. Whitney asks [[TheStoner Dr. Ross]] how many blunts she has, given how fast she's going through them. Dr. Ross responds that the Essophysics Department has the embodiment of weed locked up in the basement and that they milk blunts off of it; upon seeing Dr. Whitney's obvious confusion, she simply asks if Whitney really thought a ''sober'' person could come up with the idea of essophysics.
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'''Dr. Clef:''' Jesus wept.
to:
'''Dr. Clef:''' Jesus wept.[[note]]Keep in mind, Clef could very well be {{Satan}} himself.[[/note]]
** The extremely descriptive and elaborate yet unprofessional prose is hilarious in of itself, like "the gates of Hell open up within the subject's intestines as Satan himself violates the subject's anal canal with a pickaxe", "unholy murderflame rages throughout in a demonic vortex at a temperature of roughly HOLY-CRAP-ON-A-CUPCAKE degrees Kelvin", and "roastawful terrorslush that is probably corrosive and ''almost definitely'' radioactive".
** The extremely descriptive and elaborate yet unprofessional prose is hilarious in of itself, like "the gates of Hell open up within the subject's intestines as Satan himself violates the subject's anal canal with a pickaxe", "unholy murderflame rages throughout in a demonic vortex at a temperature of roughly HOLY-CRAP-ON-A-CUPCAKE degrees Kelvin", and "roastawful terrorslush that is probably corrosive and ''almost definitely'' radioactive".
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--> '''''Eshu Protocol Update:''''' File revisions approved!
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* In [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-o5-council-j SCP-O5 Council-J]], the O5 Council attempt to make contrition for an unforgivable sin: stealing a superior authority's lunch from the shared refrigerator in Break Room 12.
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* In [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-o5-council-j SCP-O5 Council-J]], the O5 Council attempt to make contrition for an unforgivable sin: stealing a superior authority's lunch from the shared refrigerator in Break Room 12. (Now deleted.)
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** Just in case the name of the SCP, the Object Class, and the Special Containment Procedures didn't clue you in properly, the description starts off with [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "SCP-TTKU-J is a thing that kills you."]]
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**
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** "Wet-" "Descriptors are right out."
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'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RainbowSpeak color]] can be considered a sign of aggression and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files.
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'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RainbowSpeak color]] can be considered a sign of aggression and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files.[[note]]same notice as above but "the" and "red" have been struck out[[/note]]
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--> '''Dr. Mack:''' When [[red:'''the thing that is being described in this file''']] \\
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--> '''Description:''' I'm going to go snort a fat line of cocaine off Dr. West's ass and hope that when I get back I have the motivation and dexterity to suck my own dick, for that will be the last satisfaction I ever achieve in this short, horrible life.
to:
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*
to:
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*
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*
--> '''Dr. Mack:''' When [[red:'''the thing that is being described in this file''']] \\
'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RedIsViolent the color red can be considered a sign of aggression]] and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files. \\
'''Dr. Mack:''' When [[blue:'''the thing''']] \\
'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RainbowSpeak color]] can be considered a sign of aggression and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files.
*
--> '''Dr. Mack:''' When [[red:'''the thing that is being described in this file''']] \\
'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RedIsViolent the color red can be considered a sign of aggression]] and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files. \\
'''Dr. Mack:''' When [[blue:'''the thing''']] \\
'''Eshu Protocol Update:''' In many cultures, [[RainbowSpeak color]] can be considered a sign of aggression and is therefore forbidden for use in any relevant data files.
*
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5280-j SCP-5280-J]] is the Empirical Measurement System. The article is just one very long, thinly veiled TakeThat at the system.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5280-j SCP-5280-J]] is the Empirical Imperial Measurement System. The article is just one very long, thinly veiled TakeThat at the system.
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Yes, I know, I know how dare I put the Empirical System in the same sentence as the "superior" Metric system.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5280-j SCP-5280-J]] is the Empirical Metric System. The article is just one very long, thinly veiled TakeThat at the system.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5280-j SCP-5280-J]] is the Empirical Metric Measurement System. The article is just one very long, thinly veiled TakeThat at the system.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5280-j SCP-5280-J]] is the Empirical Metric System. The article is just one very long, thinly veiled TakeThat at the system.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-063-j SCP-063-J]] is a non-euclidean object... because it is an entirely non-anomalous beach ball. This eventually gets on the nerves of the Junior Researcher being made to preform tests on it that basically amount to drawing lines.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-063-j SCP-063-J]] is a non-euclidean non-Euclidean object... because it is an entirely non-anomalous beach ball. This eventually gets on the nerves of the Junior Researcher being made to preform perform tests on it that basically amount to drawing lines.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-063-j SCP-063-J]] is a non-euclidean object... because it is an entirely non-anomalous beach ball. This eventually gets on the nerves of the Junior Researcher being made to preform tests on it that basically amount to drawing lines.
-->'''Jr. Researcher Riemann:''' ''Ok I don't know how many times I have to explain this. Just because things are non-Euclidean doesn't mean they're anomalous or spooky! So what if you can't draw parallel lines on it or sum the angles of a triangle to 180! It's a beach ball! There are so many other interesting geometries! Like hyperbolic! Or Seifert Fibers! And look, I've been thinking about one that tracks the inner product on an arbitrary smooth manifold and''\\
'''Update:''' Jr. Researcher Riemann's access to SCP-063-J has been revoked, because something is wrong with him. Jr. Researcher Riemann is also no longer allowed to talk about esoteric geometries.
-->'''Jr. Researcher Riemann:''' ''Ok I don't know how many times I have to explain this. Just because things are non-Euclidean doesn't mean they're anomalous or spooky! So what if you can't draw parallel lines on it or sum the angles of a triangle to 180! It's a beach ball! There are so many other interesting geometries! Like hyperbolic! Or Seifert Fibers! And look, I've been thinking about one that tracks the inner product on an arbitrary smooth manifold and''\\
'''Update:''' Jr. Researcher Riemann's access to SCP-063-J has been revoked, because something is wrong with him. Jr. Researcher Riemann is also no longer allowed to talk about esoteric geometries.
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--->[[ArcWords Does the Black Moon Howl?]][[labelnote:YES IT DOES.]]'''AND IT'S HOWLING FOR YOU TO FUCKING CHILL ABOUT THIS STUPID POSTCARD.'''[[/labelnote]]
to:
\\
'''O5-4:''' I'm pretty sure a tablespoon of non-anomalous couch lint is deadlier than this fucking postcard. You could at least choke on the former in its present form, and you'd have to really work at the latter to get it in a choke-on-able state.\\
\\
We have literally thousands of bigger things to worry about. Y'all are stupid.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2950-j SCP-2950-J]] is a postcard that inspires misanthropic feelings in people for a short amount of time. The problem is, everybody thinks it's secretly going to cause the end of the world, frustrating O5-4 to no end. It gets to the point where they have to ask for statements from pretty much every important GOI, ally and enemy, about how absolutely useless the postcard is.
-->'''O5-4:''' I'm pretty sure a tablespoon of non-anomalous couch lint is deadlier than this fucking postcard. You could at least choke on the former in its present form, and you'd have to really work at the latter to get it in a choke-on-able state.\\
\\
We have literally thousands of bigger things to worry about. Y'all are stupid.
-->'''O5-4:''' I'm pretty sure a tablespoon of non-anomalous couch lint is deadlier than this fucking postcard. You could at least choke on the former in its present form, and you'd have to really work at the latter to get it in a choke-on-able state.\\
\\
We have literally thousands of bigger things to worry about. Y'all are stupid.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2950-j SCP-2950-J]] is a postcard that inspires misanthropic feelings in people for a short amount of time. The problem is, everybody thinks it's secretly going to cause the end of the world, frustrating O5-4 to no end. It gets to the point where they have to ask for statements from pretty much every important GOI, ally and enemy, about how absolutely useless the postcard is.
-->'''O5-4:''' I'm pretty sure a tablespoon of non-anomalous couch lint is deadlier than this fucking postcard. You could at least choke on the former in its present form, and you'd have to really work at the latter to get it in a choke-on-able state.\\
\\
We have literally thousands of bigger things to worry about. Y'all are stupid.
-->'''O5-4:''' I'm pretty sure a tablespoon of non-anomalous couch lint is deadlier than this fucking postcard. You could at least choke on the former in its present form, and you'd have to really work at the latter to get it in a choke-on-able state.\\
\\
We have literally thousands of bigger things to worry about. Y'all are stupid.
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** The complete lack of any information on SCP-TTKU-J's physical characteristics, due to the article being [[OverlyLongGag obsessed]] with the fact that it's a thing that kills you.
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* In the same vein, there's [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1d6-j SCP 1D6-J]] a random SCP generator table.
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* [[http://scp-int.wikidot.com/scp-unknown-jp-j 8GP-縺薙§繧阪≧-JP-J]] initially reads like it shouldn't be a joke article, with a title that looks like an OminousVisualGlitch and a report from the Japanese branch of the Pataphysics Department involving efforts to counteract "meta-creators" by using a device that randomly changes the names of things (and, ideally, obfuscating all existing language). A link at the bottom, supposedly a vulnerability report on said device, causes the page to change wholesale into garbled text (save for a [[PrecisionFStrike "bastard"]] that sticks out like a sore thumb) [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou because it detected a meta-creator]]. What follows is a few lines of WordSaladHumor affecting the actual vulnerability report, full of {{Perfectly Cromulent Word}}s. The article becomes a bit funnier when you realize that the Japanese Pataphysics Department is essentially weaponizing ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojibake mojibake]]'' (incorrectly encoded Japanese text) against the fourth wall.
* [[http://scp-int.wikidot.com/scp-k2-jp-j SCP-K2-JP-J]] is literally a random person's [[ToiletHumor diarrhea]] written as if it was a legitimate SCP. Oh, and the SCP's name is a PunnyName on the Japanese word for "ass", 尻/''ketsu'' (try saying "K2" five times fast).
--> '''Special Containment Procedures:''' A̶f̶f̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶b̶j̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶t̶i̶d̶i̶a̶r̶r̶h̶e̶a̶l̶s̶ '''USELESS''' I can't hold it in anymore! AAAH DON'T COME OUT STOP! STOP! I'M IN A MIDDLE OF A MEETING! STOP! STOP! OH, LORD! AAH IT'S LEAKING LEAKING LEAKING LEAKING LEA-\\
'''[[PottyFailure CONTAINMENT BREACH]]'''\\
'''INCIDENT OCCURRED'''
* [[http://scp-int.wikidot.com/scp-k2-jp-j SCP-K2-JP-J]] is literally a random person's [[ToiletHumor diarrhea]] written as if it was a legitimate SCP. Oh, and the SCP's name is a PunnyName on the Japanese word for "ass", 尻/''ketsu'' (try saying "K2" five times fast).
--> '''Special Containment Procedures:''' A̶f̶f̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶b̶j̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶t̶i̶d̶i̶a̶r̶r̶h̶e̶a̶l̶s̶ '''USELESS''' I can't hold it in anymore! AAAH DON'T COME OUT STOP! STOP! I'M IN A MIDDLE OF A MEETING! STOP! STOP! OH, LORD! AAH IT'S LEAKING LEAKING LEAKING LEAKING LEA-\\
'''[[PottyFailure CONTAINMENT BREACH]]'''\\
'''INCIDENT OCCURRED'''
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* [[http://scp-int.wikidot.com/scp-999-jp-j SCP-999-JP-J]] is [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999 SCP-999]], but with a few key differences; first, SCP-999 used a site-wide containment breach as an opportunity to [[WalkingTheEarth walk the Earth]], going through self-imposed TrainingFromHell, and second, SCP-999 is now a ''bronzed bodybuilder sporting a blue thong'' and all of its powers have increased in effectiveness as a result. The TickleTorture it subjects SCP-682 to in the original article now ends with 682 ''disintegrating'' into a wave of healing energy instead of simply passing out from laughter, with the Foundation later classifying 999 as a Thaumiel-class anomaly and using it to solve all of its long-standing problems.
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It's now third behind 173 and ●●|●●●●●|●●|●
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-j SCP-___]]. It's a rock that makes you procrastinate. It's the second-highest rated page on the site.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-j SCP-___]]. It's a rock that makes you procrastinate. It's the second-highest third-highest rated page on the site.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4000-j SCP-4000-J]] is a parody of [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/taboo the unnamed SCP that would probably be 4000 if it had a number]][[note]]In a nutshell, it's an EldritchLocation giving anything a name (which includes using the same description more than once) [[TheScottishTrope means Bad Things]].[[/note]], with Dr. Mack finding himself faced with ever more restrictive Eshu Protocol updates preventing him from writing ''anything'' useful about the anomaly, until he finally snaps:
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4000-j SCP-4000-J]] is a parody of [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/taboo the unnamed SCP that would probably be 4000 if it had a number]][[note]]In a nutshell, it's an EldritchLocation where giving anything a name (which includes using the same description more than once) [[TheScottishTrope means Bad Things]].[[/note]], with Dr. Mack finding himself faced with ever more restrictive Eshu Protocol updates preventing him from writing ''anything'' useful about the anomaly, until he finally snaps:
