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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
[[redirect:Funny/RushHour]]
to:
-->'''Carter:''' All I did was invite them to have a drink.
-->'''Lee:''' You invited them to "get naked and sacrifice a small goat".
-->''(beat)''
-->'''Carter:''' Which word was "goat"?
** And that's not the only time...
--->'''Carter:''' What did I just say?
--->'''Lee:''' You just asked everybody to pick up their samurai swords and shave your butt!
* This exchange at the karaoke party:
-->'''Lee:''' In Hong Kong, I am Music/MichaelJackson! You are [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Toto]]!
-->'''Carter:''' You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate last night for dinner!
** Before that, Carter was singing "[[Music/MichaelJackson Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough]]" and did it in a hilariously impressionable manner that it attracted a good number of girls to the dance floor with him. Which is amusingly ironic when Lee told him about the later aforementioned line.
** And way before that, a generic Chinese man on the stage tried singing to the same song, but his hilariously awful and tuneless performance outrages Carter, leading to this exchange:
-->'''Carter:''' What in the world is going on in here? Am I the only one listening to this?! The man's destroying a classic!
* When the triads and Lee climb up the scaffolding, Carter trails behind:
-->'''Carter:''' Lee! I'm comin'!
-->''[Carter climbs all of 3 feet when a mook falls right in front of him]''
-->'''Carter:''' [''beat''] Oh hell no. [''climbs down''] Lee! I'm taking the stairs!
* When Lee and Carter are hanging on a bamboo in LiteralCliffhanger-like situation:
-->'''Lee:''' [[TemptingFate Don't worry, Chinese bamboo... is very strong]]!
-->''(cue the bamboo begins to tear apart)''
-->'''Carter:''' Ahhhhh! You sure man!?
-->'''Lee:''' ''(hopelessly)'' [[BlatantLies I'm sure]]!
-->''(and the bamboo tears apart in two and the duo falls)''
-->'''Carter:''' ''(while holding on Lee's legs for dear life)'' I can't believe I flew 10,000 miles for this '''shit!'''
** The aforementioned line was used again but ''Lee'' says it this time after him and Carter escapes from Hu-Li carrying a ''ticking bomb.''
* At the massage parlor, Heaven on Earth, Carter's reaction to the beautiful masseuses is priceless. Even Lee is telling Carter to hurry up while he's picking a good portion of them.
-->'''Carter:''' ''(to Lee)'' Man, what's wrong with you? You don't jump in front of a black man in a buffet line, calm down!
-->'''Hostess''': ''(to Carter)'' Your friend has big appetite!
** When Carter demands Ricky Tan's attention, he grabs his laptop and repeatedly stomps on it. After his goons surround Carter, [[Main/MoodWhiplash he IMMEDIATELY changes his temper]]:
-->'''Carter:''' Look little man, you coming with-(''Cue Ricky Tan's goons '''IMMEDIATELY''' surrounding Carter and Lee'') Oh, my Lord. ''I'' would like to pay you for that laptop. I think I should do that.\\
'''Ricky:''' No problem.\\
'''Carter:''' I seen it on the Internet, with a DVD player. That's an old model.
** During the parlor fight, Carter yanks off the towel of a gangster while we're treated with his behind showing, and takes a quick glance down below:
-->'''Carter:''' [[TeenyWeenie No wonder you mad]]! ''(and then he proceeds by [[GroinAttack slapping the gangster's crotch]] with a [[ClothFu towel]])''
** What happens ''after'' the fight: Lee and Carter are thrown out of a car on a busy freeway... [[NakedPeopleAreFunny butt]][[NakedPeopleTrappedOutside naked]].
* Carter and [[OneSceneWonder the overeager butcher]] with the background people's confused expressions.
--> '''Carter''': Put the blade down and let the bird go, lady, ''right now!''
* When Carter meets Isabella in the Red Dragon yacht, he tries to flirt with her as acting like the captain of his hilariously made-up yacht name: ''The S.S. Minnow Johnson.''
--> '''Carter:''' You must know my good friend [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Molasso Mondustos.]]
** After some bad flirting:
--> '''Isabella''': ...Funny, the name of the side says "Red Dragon". You see, this is my friend's boat, and this is his party.\\
'''Carter''': [[BadLiar I must've got on the wrong boat!]] All these boats look alike.
* Carter's conversation to Lee about "following the rich white man" while flying to Los Angeles.
** Even funnier, when Carter's scream about how white people react to gunfights, Lee tells Carter he sounds like that every time.
* Lee and Carter spies on Isabella from the building across the street. Lee, in particular, is checking her out the most while she's getting undressed and Carter notices she has a tattoo that looks like [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Snoopy]]. Lee immediately comments: "I ''love'' Snoopy." and grabs the binoculars.
-->'''Lee:''' Ahhhhhhhh, slow down baby!
** After Lee and Carter [[OhCrap mistakes the package]] Hu-Li gives Isabella for a bomb, they immediately run to her apartment to grab it and she's NOT amused.
-->'''Carter:''' I said ''she'' was the bomb!
-->'''Lee:''' ''(confused)'' She was the ''bomb''?
* While Isabella was talking to Lee and Carter about the fake cash situation, they both get distracted by her opening her robe midway with her cleavage showing.
-->'''Isabella:''' Say Carter, this is your city right?
-->'''Carter:''' (distracted) Yeah this is my titty, I mean my city.
* Lee and Carter are bickering over Isabella. Carter refers to Lee as 'third world ugly".
--> '''Lee''': I'm not third world ugly, women like me. They think I'm cute like Snoopy.\\
'''Carter''': Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you!
* Kenny joking with Lee about calling Carter "7-11" because he never closes his mouth.
** The whole interaction with Kenny is just full of fun moments, starting with Carter barging in with his MotorMouth.
--->'''Carter:''' [''Busts in to the gambling room''] Oh now I know I don't see what I know I see what I'm thinking!
** When Kenny calls out Carter for getting his ass kicked in Hong Kong, and embarrassing him in front of his friends.
--->'''Carter:''' Kenny, you embarrass yourself. You're a ''black man'' with a ''Chinese restaurant'' '''''on Crenshaw!'''''
** When the conversations comes to blows and Carter threatens to shoot Kenny.
--->'''Carter:''' Don't make me shoot ya, Kenny!\\
'''Kenny:''' [''In fighting stance''] Come on!\\
'''Carter:''' I'll shoot you, and say you fell in the kitchen!
* "I'll... ''bitch''-slap you back to Africa!"[[note]]A call back to an earlier line where Carter says to Lee: "I'll bitch-slap you back to Bangkok!"[[/note]]
** Lee manages to get free of the ropes and starts biting Carter's off.
--->'''Carter:''' Use them tiger teeth! Bite it like a little monkey!
* After Hu-Li tells her mook she'll bury Isabella next to Lee and Carter after she's done, Isabella calls Hu-Li out and after she gives her an apple while holding a small knife and ''throws'' it right to the apple. She gives her an disappointed look.
-->'''Hu-Li:''' Some apple?
-->'''Isabella:''' I'd put that knife away, ''bitch'', before you have an accident.
* The CampGay employee in "Gianni Versace", (played by [[Series/{{Entourage}} Jeremy Piven]]), who [[MistakenForGay mistakes]] Lee and Carter for a couple. He's also calls Carter "Lil' Kim" when he tries to check his waist.
-->'''Lee:''' I think he likes you.
-->'''Carter:''' I'm not shopping with you no more.
* Carter's distraction in the casino, particularly the part where he winds up spinning in place with faux-outrage as he berates the employees.
* Lee's infiltration into the count room starts off pretty cool, with him hiding on top of a cash crate as it's moved into the restricted area, then he seamlessly gets off by holding himself in between the walls of a narrow hallway... Only to find his face inches from a security camera.
* This scene after Carter saves Lee from the pinball-sized but ''powerful'' bomb in his mouth:
-->'''Carter:''' Why the ''hell'' you didn't tell me there was a bomb in your mouth?!
-->'''Lee:''' I did!
-->'''Carter:''' No, you didn't!
-->'''Lee:''' I said ''Mmmmm!''
-->'''Carter:''' What the hell is ''Mmmmmmm?!''
-->'''Lee:''' Mmmmm, ''boom!''
* Carter prepares to fight Hu-Li so that Lee can go after Ricky Tan. However, Carter can't help being mesmerized by Hu-Li's good looks and flirting with her:
-->'''Carter:''' I'm gonna pretend you're a man... A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.
** After Carter finally knocks Hu-Li out:
-->'''Carter:''' We could have been a couple, we could have something special... but you are one crazy-ass ''bitch!''
* Ricky Tan's BondOneLiner when he kills off his co-conspirator is darkly hilarious:
-->'''Tan:''' I enjoyed that little story you told about the Dragon and the treasure [...] Do you know the moral of that story, Mr. Reign?
-->'''Reign:''' {{Greed}} will imprison us all.
-->'''Tan:''' [stabs Reign] I ''hate'' that fortune cookie shit.
* After Lee ultimately kills Ricky Tan by kicking him through Steven Reign's penthouse window and falls ''all the way down'' to a cab, Lee says to Carter it was an accident. Carter reassures Lee, telling him that they can say the man tried to catch a cab.
* Lee's reaction after Isabella kisses him good-bye in the airport.
* The HilariousOuttakes, naturally, are a ripe source of silly moments.
-->[''Ricky Tan falls to his death'']
-->'''Carter:''' Damn!... He ain't gonna be in ''Rush Hour 3''.
