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Changed line(s) 123 (click to see context) from:
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* Ross reading the instructions in a drunken slur.
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* "Okay, what's wrong with this picture? Remember, this is a great Halloween game. Listen to this [Christmas] music. You know what reminds me of Halloween? Candy canes, presents, Christmas lights, fucking elves..."
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* "I'm just running an emulator and I'm using a mouse instead of a light gun. I know some of you have strong feelings about that, so if you feel like you need to call the police, I guess that's an assumed risk on my part."
* "Oh, this is a rough shot. I think this woman might be screwed. Yeah, she's gone. She's the spider's girlfriend now."
* "Plus, if I saw a goth looking woman in Baroque clothing coming at me, my first impulse would not be to gun her down. I don't shy away from crazy women. Now, if she was coming at me with a knife, I would either just leave her or try to disarm her. What you do is try to grab her wrist and bend it away from her or smack the weapon out of her hand if you have something you're holding. That's a free tip for anyone dating a woman trying to kill you."
* "Oh, this is a rough shot. I think this woman might be screwed. Yeah, she's gone. She's the spider's girlfriend now."
* "Plus, if I saw a goth looking woman in Baroque clothing coming at me, my first impulse would not be to gun her down. I don't shy away from crazy women. Now, if she was coming at me with a knife, I would either just leave her or try to disarm her. What you do is try to grab her wrist and bend it away from her or smack the weapon out of her hand if you have something you're holding. That's a free tip for anyone dating a woman trying to kill you."
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Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
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* "Okay, this is the first part of the game where they're basically saying, 'Enough playing around. You had your fun; time to cough up some more quarters.' I mean, it's Jason on steroids with a chaingun for an arm. Jason on fire, which only seems to be pissing him off more than anything. Wow, I actually survived that. That wasn't supposed to happen, I can tell you that."
* "Oh, no! I'll save you!... or not? Did I shoot her? I might need an instant replay on that one..."
* "Oh, no! I'll save you!... or not? Did I shoot her? I might need an instant replay on that one..."
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Changed line(s) 51,52 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:CarnEvil]]
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
** "Look at his clothes. He dresses like a 50-year-old blind fat woman. What's going on here? No socks. Is he naked under that coat? Has he killed before?"
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** "Look at his clothes. He dresses like a 50-year-old blind color-blind fat woman. woman! What's going on here? No socks. socks... Is he naked ''naked'' under that coat? Has he killed ''killed'' before?"
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* Ross's description of how ''extremely'' temperamental the game is, never giving him the game bugs twice and how he ended up settling for an ever-present visual bug that causes all of the game's text to have a magenta shadow underneath, because that was the best the game had worked so far.
** "Oh, you wanna see your avatar '''''and''''' your potions? Go fuck yourself."
** "The point is, ''Revenant'' is getting reviewed '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Right. Now.]]''''' Because in the future, there are ''no'' assurances this game will ever run again. [...] If I wait any longer, this game will have me ''begging'' to come back to the magenta text. It'll probably turn the ''grass'' magenta, just to teach me a lesson."
** "Oh, you wanna see your avatar '''''and''''' your potions? Go fuck yourself."
** "The point is, ''Revenant'' is getting reviewed '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Right. Now.]]''''' Because in the future, there are ''no'' assurances this game will ever run again. [...] If I wait any longer, this game will have me ''begging'' to come back to the magenta text. It'll probably turn the ''grass'' magenta, just to teach me a lesson."
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* "So, Test Drive 3 is a flawed gem. A flawed, cracked, scuffed-up, ground-up gem with stains on it. So, What have we learned here today? That driving and the third dimension go together well, and that if you hit a cow with your car, you both lose.
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* "THERE ARE NO GOOD REASONS, ONLY LEGAL ONES!"
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* "I have a ship that's a carrot."
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* "I "[[NonSequitur I have a ship that's a carrot."]]"
* "I mean, look at this construction worker. Is he repairing the road or is he trying to communicate telepathically with you? Can he levitate objects with his mind?"
* "[[NonSequitur Did you know that, even though this game came out in 1990, this car is still really fast?]]"
* The discussion of driving your car into a lake is BlackComedy at its finest.
** "Well, the drowning is kind of interpretive, but if you drive your car into a lake and you don't get out of the car, there are only so many possibilities that can happen."
** "If you're like me and drive your own car into a pond or lake on occasion.."
** "All-in-all it's easier to just NOT drive your car into a lake, but hey, your beer is not going to drink itself when you're driving over a bridge."
** "And while we're on the topic of killing yourself..."
* "[[NonSequitur Did you know that, even though this game came out in 1990, this car is still really fast?]]"
* The discussion of driving your car into a lake is BlackComedy at its finest.
** "Well, the drowning is kind of interpretive, but if you drive your car into a lake and you don't get out of the car, there are only so many possibilities that can happen."
** "If you're like me and drive your own car into a pond or lake on occasion.."
** "All-in-all it's easier to just NOT drive your car into a lake, but hey, your beer is not going to drink itself when you're driving over a bridge."
** "And while we're on the topic of killing yourself..."
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* All of Ross's "Hell Contract" story.
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* All of Ross's "Hell Contract" story.
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* "Today, I'll be talking about the first game on this show in 3D! Well, actually, this isn't real 3D because I can't reach out of the screen and grab you yet, but you know what I mean."
* "This game is such a mixed bag. If it was a literal bag that you could stick your hand in, it would be filled with gold nuggets and snapping turtles."
* "But, hey, here's a free tip: if a real cop ever pulls you over and asks you for information, you should NOT put him or her on hold. But, you'll figure that out even without me."
* "Now, this game also has an additional feature you won't read about in any ad for it-[[SuddenlyShouting NOR IN THE REVIEW FOR IT WHEN IT CAME OUT!]]-and that's this game isn't so much about racing as it is a drunk driving simulator."
* "So, when you see me crashing because I swerved for absolutely nothing, it's not because I can see ghosts and you can't, it's just how this game is."
* "All I can figure is the company had a hard deadline and the boss started waving a gun around until the game got finished."
* "This game is such a mixed bag. If it was a literal bag that you could stick your hand in, it would be filled with gold nuggets and snapping turtles."
* "But, hey, here's a free tip: if a real cop ever pulls you over and asks you for information, you should NOT put him or her on hold. But, you'll figure that out even without me."
* "Now, this game also has an additional feature you won't read about in any ad for it-[[SuddenlyShouting NOR IN THE REVIEW FOR IT WHEN IT CAME OUT!]]-and that's this game isn't so much about racing as it is a drunk driving simulator."
* "So, when you see me crashing because I swerved for absolutely nothing, it's not because I can see ghosts and you can't, it's just how this game is."
* "All I can figure is the company had a hard deadline and the boss started waving a gun around until the game got finished."
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* "Only the [[ChosenMany Chosen Ones]] may have the honor of beating a Japanese vertical shooter."
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* "Only the [[ChosenMany [[TheChosenMany Chosen Ones]] may have the honor of beating a Japanese vertical shooter."
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* "I have a ship that's a carrot."
* "Only the [[ChosenMany Chosen Ones]] may have the honor of beating a Japanese vertical shooter."
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* "I have a ship that's a carrot."
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** "And to anyone who think's that's just because I'm not skilled enough, that's like saying you have more skill at RussianRoulette, like you know just how many times to spin the gun chamber before pointing it at your head."
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* "And to anyone who think's that's just because I'm not skilled enough, that's like saying you have more skill at RussianRoulette, like you know just how many times to spin the gun chamber before pointing it at your head."
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* "And to anyone who think's that's just because I'm not skilled enough, that's like saying you "So, what have more skill at RussianRoulette, like you know just how many times we learned here today? That surprise nudity is a good way to spin the gun chamber before pointing it at your head." get someone's attention, and that evil is everywhere, apparently."
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* "And to anyone who think's that's just because I'm not skilled enough, that's like saying you have more skill at RussianRoulette, like you know just how many times to spin the gun chamber before pointing it at your head."
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* "If I ever hear Yakety Sax one more time, I'm going to kill somebody."
* Ross's thoughts about the "weird guy."
** "Look at his clothes. He dresses like a 50-year-old blind fat woman. What's going on here? No socks. Is he naked under that coat? Has he killed before?"
** "Maybe he's just meant to be a tough coach or trainer to make you a better and more paranoid Tetris player, but I don't know; I'm just getting this sinister vibe here."
* Ross's thoughts about the "weird guy."
** "Look at his clothes. He dresses like a 50-year-old blind fat woman. What's going on here? No socks. Is he naked under that coat? Has he killed before?"
** "Maybe he's just meant to be a tough coach or trainer to make you a better and more paranoid Tetris player, but I don't know; I'm just getting this sinister vibe here."
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** "So, the more you save, the more you're damning yourself on later levels when you NEED more money and you don't have it because you were playing this game to have fun. That'll teach you!"
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** "Once you get to the third or fourth stage, you gradually start realizing this isn't so much a fun puzzle game as it is a survival horror game."
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** "By spending $50 now, I'm going to run out of cash and get myself killed later. It feels a little like my own life, actually..."
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* Ross's insistence that the game wants to kill you.
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* Ross's insistence that the game wants to kill you.you, in general.
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** "Nyet III is the Ted Bundy of video games."
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* "[[TheStinger Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start off, I don't read German.]]"
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* "[[TheStinger Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To Well, to start things off, I don't read German.]]"
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* "[[The Stinger Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start off, I don't read German.]]"
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* "[[The Stinger "[[TheStinger Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start off, I don't read German.]]"
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** "Wow, this sounds great, right? Yeah, ha... yeah... It's insidious, is what it is! Between the upbeat music, bright graphics, easy challenges, fun riddles, you're going to miss the fact that this game wants to kill you."
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* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start off, I don't read German."
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* "Hi, "[[The Stinger Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start off, I don't read German."]]"
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start, I don't known German.""
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* Ross's insistence that the game wants to kill you.
* "It actually reminds me of how modern-day games will sometimes have ten movie clips before you can get to the actual menu. Sometimes they make them unskippable unless you hack the startup files. That happens because some producer worth millions who may not even play games wants to make sure his companies name is plastered in everyone's face forever. I don't think that's the case for the seven people involved here, though."
* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. Tostart, start off, I don't known read German."""
* "It actually reminds me of how modern-day games will sometimes have ten movie clips before you can get to the actual menu. Sometimes they make them unskippable unless you hack the startup files. That happens because some producer worth millions who may not even play games wants to make sure his companies name is plastered in everyone's face forever. I don't think that's the case for the seven people involved here, though."
* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To
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* The first words of the episode.
** "If you're hearing this, that means I'm still alive."
* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start, I don't known German.""
** "If you're hearing this, that means I'm still alive."
* "Hi, welcome to the surprise review of Nyet II. To start, I don't known German.""
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* "Okay, I should stop arguing with my imaginary audience."
* "Now, you might be saying 'Ross, I'm from Montana. These aren't enough guns for me.'"
* "GOOD GOD! It's almost like the designers of this game wanted you to play it and have fun!"
* "Naturally, if you enter in ANOTHER code, you get 'Suicide,' because this game wants the masochists out there to have fun, too."
* "You'll notice, there is no 'You Die in One Hit, Go to Hell and [[ArsonMurderandJaywalking Stop Playing Our Game]]' mode."
** Made better by the edited title screen.
* "Now, you might be saying 'Ross, I'm from Montana. These aren't enough guns for me.'"
* "GOOD GOD! It's almost like the designers of this game wanted you to play it and have fun!"
* "Naturally, if you enter in ANOTHER code, you get 'Suicide,' because this game wants the masochists out there to have fun, too."
* "You'll notice, there is no 'You Die in One Hit, Go to Hell and [[ArsonMurderandJaywalking Stop Playing Our Game]]' mode."
** Made better by the edited title screen.
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* "Research"
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* All of Ross's "Hell Contract" story.
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[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Tyrian]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Nyet III]]
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[[folder:Test Drive 3]]
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[[folder:CarnEvil]]
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[[folder:Eternam]]
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[[folder:Zany Golf]]
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[[folder:Strife]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Potty Pigeon]]
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[[folder:Helious]]
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[[folder:Arcade America]]
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[[folder:Revenant]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Last Stand]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Polaris Snocross]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Quarantine]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Super Cult Tycoon]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wolfenstein]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Bip Bop II]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Follow-up Episode #1]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Battleforge]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bozo's Night Out]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Construction Bob Escapes From Hell]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Go To Hell]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Uncanny Valley]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Secret World]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dungeon Siege]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tyrian]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Nyet III]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Test Drive 3]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:CarnEvil]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Eternam]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zany Golf]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Strife]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Potty Pigeon]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Helious]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Arcade America]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Revenant]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Last Stand]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Polaris Snocross]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Quarantine]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Super Cult Tycoon]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wolfenstein]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Bip Bop II]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Follow-up Episode #1]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Battleforge]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bozo's Night Out]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Construction Bob Escapes From Hell]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Go To Hell]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Uncanny Valley]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Secret World]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dungeon Siege]]
[[/folder]]
