History Funny / Oglaf

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/upcycling/ Upcycling]] has Sun Tzu trying to sell a sequel to ''Literature/TheArtOfWarSunTzu'', "Art of War 2: Crafts of War".

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/necking/ Necking]] involves a man condemned to be beheaded complaining about the incompetence of his executioner for accidentally killing the wrong person instead of him. The execution gets upset and demands to [[LetsSeeYouDoBetter see him try if he's so smart]], and then:

* "[[https://www.oglaf.com/insummary In Summary]]": A guy makes a speech defending himself at his trial by explaining that [[InsaneTrollLogic the only way society could trust and respect him]] is if he seduced, murdered and ate people. The jury cheers for him and carries him off on their shoulders [[spoiler:to a gallows]].

* "[[https://www.oglaf.com/insummary In Summary]]": A guy makes a speech defending himself at his trial by explaining that [[InsaneTrollLogic the only way society could trust and respect him]] is if he seduced, murdered and ate people. The crowd cheers for him and carries him off on their shoulders [[spoiler:to a gallows]].

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/2/ Son of Kronar.]] The unthinkable has happened. Kronar's son was born female. With a heavy heart, he casts the newborn into the wolf pit, only to find that she has ripped the wolves to pieces with her bare hands.

-->'''King Blowjob''': "We are a peaceful fellatiocracy. We need no knob ruckus."\\
'''Knobguy''': "COCK RAMPAGE!"

-->'''Seller''' ''(understandably pissed):'' Why would you not say that before I started?

* In the strip hardwood, a man selling crystal balls performs a sex act on a mimic, which he explicitly said was [[BestialityIsDepraved at the zoo]], because of a SelfFulfillingProphecy he lampshaded as such because a customer confused his refusal to carry it out as the crystal balls not working. The real joke is the end:

-->'''Woman:'' Are demons even allowed to do that?

* In the strip hardwood, a man selling crystal balls performs a sex act on a mimic, which he explicitly said was [[BeastialityIsDepraved at the zoo]], because of a SelfFulfillingProphecy he lampshaded as such because a customer confused his refusal to carry it out as the crystal balls not working. The real joke is the end:

-->''Customer:'' In the prophecy it was the big mahagony one.
-->''Seller (understandably pissed):'' Why would you not say that before I started?

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/neigh/ "Neigh".]] The lord seems to have a SustainedMisunderstanding about the difference between equestrianism and sex. The repeated BeatPanel is particularly dry.

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/neigh/ "Neigh".]] The lord seems to have a SustainedMisunderstanding about the difference between equestrianism and sex.

* "Associate Membership" has a blood cult using a HoneyTrap to find sacrifices -- free sex with the catch that anyone still engaged in the pleasure at sunrise becomes their victim (it's implied that they can cause the sun to rise early). Their latest victim turns out to be a vampire, who bursts into flames at dawn ''[[GroinAttack while inside one of the cultists]]''. Their solution? Offer [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking with free garlic bread]] too.

* "Associate Membership" has a blood cult using a HoneyTrap to find sacrifices, with anyone still engaged in the pleasure when the sun rises being trapped as their victim. The latest victim turns out to be a vampire (who bursts into flames on the dawn ''[[GroinAttack while inside one of the cultists]]''). Their solution to the problem? [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Free Garlic Bread]].

* [[https://www.oglaf.com/gravity-masonry/ Gravity Loves Masonry]]. A monster working in a dungeon warns adventurers that a door is booby-trapped to drop a large amount of rocks on people who open it. When one adventurer doubts the generosity of the warning, the monster explains that he's [[RealityEnsues the poor sap who has to reset the trap afterwards]].

-->'''Investigator1:''' What could have done this?\\
'''Investigator2:''' We'll never know for sure. No survivors. [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Even some of the trees have been stabbed.]]

* The ending of [[http://oglaf.com/survivor/1/ Survivor]]. Kronar gets mocked to his face for "going soft" when he leaves a survivor to speak of his deeds... cut away to a couple of people wondering what could have caused such carnage.

* The Knobguy Saga. What happens when you have a cock that makes anything (read: any actual THING) orgasm instantly?