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* During his stay at Point Pleasant as recorded in "The Real Life Landscapes of Fallout 3, Fallout 4, and Fallout 76", Noah visits the local attractions about TheMothman, including a steel statue depicting it. What follows is one of the most hilarious observations about the cryptid ever:
-->'''Noah:''' Next to the museum is the Mothman statue, which I love with all my heart, because not only did they go hard on the design, the artists spent what seems like a great deal of effort making sure that Mothman has what can only be described as ''a seriously rockin' ass''. Look at this taut sumnabitch! ''VideoGame/Fallout76'' made Mothman very mysterious and creepy, but I wonder now this is simply because they lacked the courage to make him swole.
** Better still is how at this point Noah's captured footage shows him circle around the statue to reach out and touch the Mothman's shiny metal butt.
-->'''Noah:''' Next to the museum is the Mothman statue, which I love with all my heart, because not only did they go hard on the design, the artists spent what seems like a great deal of effort making sure that Mothman has what can only be described as ''a seriously rockin' ass''. Look at this taut sumnabitch! ''VideoGame/Fallout76'' made Mothman very mysterious and creepy, but I wonder now this is simply because they lacked the courage to make him swole.
** Better still is how at this point Noah's captured footage shows him circle around the statue to reach out and touch the Mothman's shiny metal butt.
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* Noah's frustrated speculation about why Fear 2 had CreepyChild Alma having such a dramatic motivation shift - he imagines an executive asking three people what made her scary. One says "She's relentless!", one says "She's unpredictable!", the third says "Uuuhhh... ghost pussy?" and it's the third that the executive takes to enthusiastically.
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* Noah's frustrated speculation about why Fear 2 ''[[VideoGame/FirstEncounterAssaultRecon F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin]]'' had CreepyChild Alma having such a dramatic motivation shift - he imagines an executive asking three people what made her scary. One says "She's relentless!", one says "She's unpredictable!", the third says "Uuuhhh... ghost pussy?" and it's the third that the executive takes to enthusiastically.
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** Talking about the endings to VideoGame/Bloodborne, Noah lays out the horror of replacing Gershom like so.
--> Doomed to an eternity of delivering cryptic, darkly ironic dialogue to impatient player characters mashing the 'Skip' button. Chilling stuff indeed.
--> Doomed to an eternity of delivering cryptic, darkly ironic dialogue to impatient player characters mashing the 'Skip' button. Chilling stuff indeed.
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** Talking about the endings to VideoGame/Bloodborne, VideoGame/{{Bloodborne}}, Noah lays out the horror of replacing Gershom Gehrman like so.
so:
-->Doomed ''Doomed to an eternity of delivering cryptic, darkly ironic dialogue to impatient player characters mashing the 'Skip' button. Chilling stuff indeed.''
-->
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** Talking about the endings to VideoGame/Bloodborne, Noah lays out the horror of replacing Gershom like so.
--> Doomed to an eternity of delivering cryptic, darkly ironic dialogue to impatient player characters mashing the 'Skip' button. Chilling stuff indeed.
--> Doomed to an eternity of delivering cryptic, darkly ironic dialogue to impatient player characters mashing the 'Skip' button. Chilling stuff indeed.
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** Earlier in that same review Noah talks about the plot having absurd and pretentious elements particularly when paired with Kojima's reputation for being one of the [[SuddenlyShouting MOST FAMOUS DEVELOPING]]'''[[SuddenlyShouting UNITS!!]]''' in the world.
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-->What a moment! What incredible energy in the Erdtree Arena as [[spoiler:Godfrey the Golden murders his own ghost cat]] in a fit of rage! The crowd is loving it!
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-->What a moment! What incredible energy in the Erdtree Arena [[spoiler:Erdtree Arena]] as [[spoiler:Godfrey the Golden murders his own ghost cat]] in a fit of rage! The crowd is loving it!
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-->What a moment! What incredible energy in the Erdtree Arena as [[spoiler:Godfrey the Golden murders his own ghost cat]] in a fit of rage! The crowd is loving it!
-->That's right, Tom, we haven't seen an appearance by [[spoiler:Hoarah Loux]] since he won Thunder From Down Under in 1986! I'll tell ya, anything can happen tonight at the [[spoiler:foot of the Erdtree]] and probably will, [[ProductPlacement after this brief message from our friends at Leyndell Chevrolet!]]
-->That's right, Tom, we haven't seen an appearance by [[spoiler:Hoarah Loux]] since he won Thunder From Down Under in 1986! I'll tell ya, anything can happen tonight at the [[spoiler:foot of the Erdtree]] and probably will, [[ProductPlacement after this brief message from our friends at Leyndell Chevrolet!]]
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if you're gonna quote him use the full quote
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-->'''Noah:''' Yes, Lady Butterfly, I am a puppy. Pat my head and give me my [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] treat. Woof woof.
to:
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** He then goes on to describe the hypotheical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
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** He then goes on to describe the hypotheical hypothetical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
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He then goes on to describe the hypotheical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
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** He then goes on to describe the hypotheical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
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** When making the case for an optional easier mode in VideoGame/SekiroShadowsDieTwice Noah describes his frustration with [[ThatOneBoss Lady Butterfly]] with this gem;
-->'''Lady Butterfly (upon defeating the player character, Wolf):''' [[PretenderDiss Still only a puppy.]]
-->'''Noah:''' Yes, Lady Butterfly, I am a puppy. Pat my head and give me my [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] treat. Woof woof.
He then goes on to describe the hypotheical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
-->'''Lady Butterfly (upon defeating the player character, Wolf):''' [[PretenderDiss Still only a puppy.]]
-->'''Noah:''' Yes, Lady Butterfly, I am a puppy. Pat my head and give me my [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] treat. Woof woof.
He then goes on to describe the hypotheical easier mode as "Puppy Mode" for the rest of the ''Sekiro'' segment.
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* Noah's second Soulsbourne video's intro has [[Music/TomLehrer Tom Lehrer's]] MasochismTango, which, considering the [[NintendoHard reputation of these games]] seems very darkly appropriate.
** Noah compares [[spoiler: [[VideoGame/EldenRing Hoarah Loux's]]]] second phase cutscene to something out of a ProfessionalWrestling match. Complete with convincingly hammy and energetic commentary.
** Noah compares [[spoiler: [[VideoGame/EldenRing Hoarah Loux's]]]] second phase cutscene to something out of a ProfessionalWrestling match. Complete with convincingly hammy and energetic commentary.
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* In Noah's ''VideoGame/DeathStranding'' analysis, he talks about Heartman's strongly heart-related theme, including a nearby lake shaped like a heart...and admits that until he was told this, he took rather a different stance on which body part it resembled.
-->'''Noah:''' Even the lake outside his laboratory is intended to look like a heart...but, when it was a blank space on the over map, I spent several hours mentally referring to it as "Mount Ballsack" before actually being told what it was supposed to look like.
-->'''Noah:''' Even the lake outside his laboratory is intended to look like a heart...but, when it was a blank space on the over map, I spent several hours mentally referring to it as "Mount Ballsack" before actually being told what it was supposed to look like.
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** Beating [[VideoGame/DarkSoulsIII Sister Friede's]] third face with the Boulder Heave spell, or as he puts it, "magical nausea", to stun her while the NPC Summon goes to town.
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** Beating [[VideoGame/DarkSoulsIII Sister Friede's]] third face phase with the Boulder Heave spell, or as he puts it, "magical nausea", to stun her while the NPC Summon goes to town.
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** Kicking his poise into overdrive to face tank all of [[VideoGame/DarkSouls Artorias']] fancy sword moves.
** Beating [[VideoGame/DarkSoulsIII Sister Friede's]] third face with the Boulder Heave spell, or as he puts it, "magical nausea", to stun her while the NPC Summon goes to town.
** And finally, beating ''[[ThatOneBoss Slave Knight Gael]]'', with Pestilent Mist...or as Noah so eloquently surmises:
---> I would now destroy the most ''fearsome'' foe in the trilogy, with my [[ToiletHumor toxic farts.]]
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* Noah's frustrated speculation about why Fear 2 had CreepyChild Alma having such a dramatic motivation shift - he imagines an executive asking three people what made her scary. One says "She's relentless!", one says "She's unpredictable!", the third says "Uuuhhh... ghost pussy?" and it's the third that the executive takes to enthusiastically.
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** [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm sorry Mario, the princess has reservations with a different cruise-line.]]
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** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm sorry Mario, the princess has reservations with a different cruise-line.]]
]]"
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--> In practice, you have a bunch of useless weirdos zooming all over the place, moving all the shit, chattering nonsense to themselves and everyone around them, with no intention or ability to contribute to the objectives, which you must shoulder all the actual work for. So I guess... [[TakeThat Not that different from playing online after all]].
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* During his Franchise/ResidentEvil retrospective he reaches the two DLC campaigns for VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations2 and immediately declares neither of them being worth the time to play. He then explains he has two reasons for including them anyway; the first is reasonable enough, he can explain them in ten minutes and thus save his audience a couple hours. The second reason is...well:
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* During his Franchise/ResidentEvil ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' retrospective he reaches the two DLC campaigns for VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations2 and immediately declares neither of them being worth the time to play. He then explains he has two reasons for including them anyway; the first is reasonable enough, he can explain them in ten minutes and thus save his audience a couple hours. The second reason is...well:
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** The same can also be said about his incredulous reaction to "Andy the Janitor" from ''VideoGame/ResidentEvilGunSurvivor''. [[spoiler: Which gets a callback several hours later, a BrickJoke made all the better by the review's nearly seven and a half hour runtime.]]
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--> '''Noah''':-and the second is that I am a spiteful creature and I want you ''trapped'' here with ''me'' in this creative purgatory of Resident Evil's middle period a little bit longer. [[ToThePain I want you to suffer as I have suffered, I want you to]] ''[[ToThePain drown]]'' [[ToThePain with me in an ocean of thick coagulating zombie blood that has no beginning and no end.]]
** ...only to then [[MoodWhiplash continue the review in his usual manner.]]
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** From the same review, Noah reveals that his wife has a bad habit of [[MomentKiller unintentionally walking in at the worst possible times while he's playing a game]] - in this case, [[spoiler: right after Jackie dies during the end of Act 1's heist, and poor Noah is [[InelegantBlubbering bawling his eyes out]] over how "<i>Well it's 'cuz all of-'' all Jackie ever wanted was to '''be''' somebody man! '''But Jackie DIED!''' He DIED right there in the back of the cab where we swore ''we was gonna make it together!''".]] Cue Noah's wife giving him an understanding nod, and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere sloooowly backing out of the room]].
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** From the same review, Noah reveals that his wife has a bad habit of [[MomentKiller unintentionally walking in at the worst possible times while he's playing a game]] - in this case, [[spoiler: right after Jackie dies during the end of Act 1's heist, and poor Noah is [[InelegantBlubbering bawling his eyes out]] over how "<i>Well "''Well it's 'cuz all of-'' all Jackie ever wanted was to '''be''' somebody man! '''But Jackie DIED!''' He DIED right there in the back of the cab where we swore ''we was gonna make it together!''".]] Cue Noah's wife giving him an understanding nod, and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere sloooowly backing out of the room]].
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-->'''Noah:''' I wanted to know how the great [[spoiler:[[TheLastDJ Johnny Silverhand]]]] would be humbled by this experience. And sure enough, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor it did change him.]] (Venomously) Into the most [[BadassDecay cliche, sunday-school-ass, polo-shirt-wearing motherfucker]] you could possibly dream up. Welcome to the [[spoiler:Johnny Goldenheart]] ending, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck god help us both.]]
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* In the ''Ghost Recon™: Wildlands'' video, when talking about the ''Cartel Road'' DLC, he goes in detail how the DLC nearly broke him due to a combination of bad driving physics, insensible Latino stereotypes, grindy progression and obnoxious characters but what makes him lose some faith in humanity is the fact that at least '''1.42''' percent of [=PlayStation=] 4 players beat it - a number, he believes, is ''too high''.
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* In the ''Ghost Recon™: Wildlands'' video, when talking about the ''Cartel Road'' DLC, he goes in detail how the DLC nearly broke him due to a combination of bad driving physics, insensible Latino stereotypes, grindy progression and obnoxious characters but what makes him lose some faith in humanity is the fact that at least '''1.42''' percent of [=PlayStation=] 4 players beat it - a number, he believes, is that's ''too high''.
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* During his Max Payne retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-Brooklyn accent) ''Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!''".
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* During his Max Payne ''VideoGame/MaxPayne'' retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-Brooklyn accent) ''Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!''".
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* In the ''Ghost Recon™: Wildlands'' video, when talking about the ''Cartel Road'' DLC, he goes in detail how the DLC nearly broke him due to a combination of bad driving physics, insensible Latino stereotypes, grindy progression and obnoxious characters but what makes him lose some faith in humanity is the fact that at least '''1.42''' percent of [=PlayStation=] 4 players beat it - a number, he believes, is ''too high''.
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* During his Max Payne retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-italian accent) Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!".
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* During his Max Payne retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-italian faux-Brooklyn accent) Ah! ''Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!".Kappa!''".
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!Video Game Retrospectives
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!Travelogues
* The cow herd from "Atomic Pilgrimage."
-->'''Noah:''' In the morning, I got up with the dawn and hit the Nevada border early; early enough that my first taste of this mysterious and underpopulated part of the country was to encounter a herd of cattle completely blocking the pass from the lower desert valley to the upper desert valley towards Gerlach. I drove up to the cowboy, asked him how he wanted me to handle it, and he said "Oh, they're real gentle. Just drive on through, and they'll move for ya." [[ViolationOfCommonSense And Goddamned if they didn't!]] I shifted into a tentative first gear, and they parted like a smelly, furry river around a boulder. We were quite the mashup, the traveller with his herd, the bearded traveller with his Volkswagen, both of us around 30, both of us looking like some echo from the past, [and] I think we were equally entertained by the situation, too; I caught him cracking up in the rearview to see the high prow of the bus moving through the moving, farting herd. For the most part, they seemed willing to let me get on past, but ''one'' cow stopped right in front of me [[RoadApples to take a massive and defiant piss right on the pavement.]] [[ActuallyPrettyFunny I gave him his moment; it's not often a cow gets to pull a power move on a guy like that]]. I honestly could hardly believe the scene as it was unfolding; ranching is one of the most iconic professions in America, but it's infrequently that city people like me actually encounter it so directly as this. Most people's world is one of stoplights and strip malls, mine included. This guy's world is so quiet that he can drive a herd of cattle through the byway and still be surprised to see someone rolling up on him.
** This is aided by the footage of the herd, which does indeed show cattle courteously avoiding Noah's van, and the one cow who peed in his path.
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* Noah's description of Crysis 2's plot:
-->'''Noah:''' Of course, Crysis 2 does have [[DamnedByFaintPraise something that makes it unique:]] [[KudzuPlot One of the most genuinely incomprehensible video game stories I've ever seen.]] I don't play many [[TakeThat JRPGs]], admittedly, but Crysis 2 and 3 [[JigsawPuzzlePlot are notoriously difficult to follow.]] So, here's how we start off: You're a marine, just a regular marine, named Alcatraz. You're in a submarine en route to New York. There's an explosion! Aliens have attacked! Somehow! From Somewhere! (''frantically'') You escape the sub but are broken by the explosion! (''calmly'') Prophet, from the first game, heroically strides into view, scoops you up, and says: (''In his best 'Action Movie Star" voice'') Destiny's a bitch, huh? It'll be on you now, son!
* His description of Mafia 3's DLC also qualifies:
-->'''Noah:''' If you think of the plot of Mafia 3 as a stew, what you started out with was something basic, but hearty, a real meat-potatoes-and-carrots kind of deal. With each DLC, [[DenserAndWackier something absurd is added to the mix.]] "How 'bout a shit-ton-a cheese?" asks "Faster, Baby", which makes the stew a little rich, but fits in with the taste palate, generally. "How 'bout [[SuddenlyShouting TWO LITERS OF]] [[LargeHam LEMON-LIME SOOOOODAA!?"]], asks "Stones Unturned", and before you can ask what the fuck it thinks it's doing, the chef adds the whole bottle while staring you dead in the eyes, asking: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "What'sa matta, pal? Everybody likes soda!".]] And then comes the last DLC, and before you even ask "What new fresh hell this time?", the [[CordonBleughChef chef just starts throwing in a fully-cooked spaghetti dinner,]] scraping it off the plate slowly, so the noodles plop purposelessly on top of the [[MasochistsMeal cheese-thickened, soda-watered mess.]] It's not that any one ingredient is, itself, unpalatable, but you stare into your [[MetaPhorgotten bowl of plot,]] and [[WhatWereYouThinking you wonder how anyone could've thought that these things went together.]]
* Noah commenting on ''VideoGame/FarCry3'''s [[spoiler:Citra kills Jason]] ending, feeling it is both a bit of a BrokenAesop and somewhat heavy-handed:
-->'''Noah:''' It's a joke, ultimately, but a single joke is a poor thing to aim 30 hours of game activity towards, and a poorer one where the joke is still at someone's expense. ''Far Cry 3'' wants to be multilayered and subversive, but all it ends really feeling like in the end is a ''Series/TalesFromTheCrypt'' where it fades back into a comic book panel and the Crypt Keeper turns around to say: ''(in Crypt Keeper voice)'' I guess Jason should have learned he should get to know a girl before ''he takes the plunge! [[EvilLaugh HE HE HA HA HA]]!!(laughter turns into coughing)''
* During his Max Payne retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-italian accent) Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!".
* This anecdote from his re-review of No-Mans-Sky:
-->'''Noah:''' One of the chromatic worlds I found was purple, and the gigantic ring plants that had looked so sinister on other chromatic worlds suddenly seemed majestic. Fairy lizards with tusks and bee wings buzzed beside a pond in a thick wood, surrounded by lavender grass. It was a surrealist Eden. [[KickTheDog I decided to hunt the fairy lizards.]] I had a quest to murder me some animals, but that’s not why I did it. I simply wanted to be an asshole in Paradise for a moment. It was such a beautiful place, the animals were so goofy, and here I was running around yelling “Come here ya sonuvabitch!”
----
-->'''Noah:''' Of course, Crysis 2 does have [[DamnedByFaintPraise something that makes it unique:]] [[KudzuPlot One of the most genuinely incomprehensible video game stories I've ever seen.]] I don't play many [[TakeThat JRPGs]], admittedly, but Crysis 2 and 3 [[JigsawPuzzlePlot are notoriously difficult to follow.]] So, here's how we start off: You're a marine, just a regular marine, named Alcatraz. You're in a submarine en route to New York. There's an explosion! Aliens have attacked! Somehow! From Somewhere! (''frantically'') You escape the sub but are broken by the explosion! (''calmly'') Prophet, from the first game, heroically strides into view, scoops you up, and says: (''In his best 'Action Movie Star" voice'') Destiny's a bitch, huh? It'll be on you now, son!
* His description of Mafia 3's DLC also qualifies:
-->'''Noah:''' If you think of the plot of Mafia 3 as a stew, what you started out with was something basic, but hearty, a real meat-potatoes-and-carrots kind of deal. With each DLC, [[DenserAndWackier something absurd is added to the mix.]] "How 'bout a shit-ton-a cheese?" asks "Faster, Baby", which makes the stew a little rich, but fits in with the taste palate, generally. "How 'bout [[SuddenlyShouting TWO LITERS OF]] [[LargeHam LEMON-LIME SOOOOODAA!?"]], asks "Stones Unturned", and before you can ask what the fuck it thinks it's doing, the chef adds the whole bottle while staring you dead in the eyes, asking: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "What'sa matta, pal? Everybody likes soda!".]] And then comes the last DLC, and before you even ask "What new fresh hell this time?", the [[CordonBleughChef chef just starts throwing in a fully-cooked spaghetti dinner,]] scraping it off the plate slowly, so the noodles plop purposelessly on top of the [[MasochistsMeal cheese-thickened, soda-watered mess.]] It's not that any one ingredient is, itself, unpalatable, but you stare into your [[MetaPhorgotten bowl of plot,]] and [[WhatWereYouThinking you wonder how anyone could've thought that these things went together.]]
* Noah commenting on ''VideoGame/FarCry3'''s [[spoiler:Citra kills Jason]] ending, feeling it is both a bit of a BrokenAesop and somewhat heavy-handed:
-->'''Noah:''' It's a joke, ultimately, but a single joke is a poor thing to aim 30 hours of game activity towards, and a poorer one where the joke is still at someone's expense. ''Far Cry 3'' wants to be multilayered and subversive, but all it ends really feeling like in the end is a ''Series/TalesFromTheCrypt'' where it fades back into a comic book panel and the Crypt Keeper turns around to say: ''(in Crypt Keeper voice)'' I guess Jason should have learned he should get to know a girl before ''he takes the plunge! [[EvilLaugh HE HE HA HA HA]]!!(laughter turns into coughing)''
* During his Max Payne retrospective, he explains his love for the first game's mooks for them being "the fucking nerdiest mooks you will ever find in a videogame" with him later describing their personality as "(In a faux-italian accent) Ah! Gee! Ouch! You shot me, Kappa!".
* This anecdote from his re-review of No-Mans-Sky:
-->'''Noah:''' One of the chromatic worlds I found was purple, and the gigantic ring plants that had looked so sinister on other chromatic worlds suddenly seemed majestic. Fairy lizards with tusks and bee wings buzzed beside a pond in a thick wood, surrounded by lavender grass. It was a surrealist Eden. [[KickTheDog I decided to hunt the fairy lizards.]] I had a quest to murder me some animals, but that’s not why I did it. I simply wanted to be an asshole in Paradise for a moment. It was such a beautiful place, the animals were so goofy, and here I was running around yelling “Come here ya sonuvabitch!”
----
