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Changed line(s) 513 (click to see context) from:
'''Annie''': I wanna catch her ''Film/{{Superman}}'' Lois Lane-style.\\
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'''Annie''': I wanna catch her ''Film/{{Superman}}'' ''Film/{{Superman|TheMovie}}'' Lois Lane-style.\\
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Changed line(s) 1334 (click to see context) from:
* Aelfgifu feels weird aroudn Veli now because she's a plant person.
to:
* Aelfgifu feels weird aroudn around Veli now because she's a plant person.
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Split trope
Changed line(s) 1724 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Annie:'''''*fighting through giggles*'' [[Film/XMen Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.]].
to:
-->'''Annie:'''''*fighting through giggles*'' [[Film/XMen [[Film/XMen1 Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.]].
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Changed line(s) 2195 (click to see context) from:
** Annie suggests throwing coins over their shoulder to distract the guards, but Kit counters that they're not allowed to ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreed'' this scenario. Everyone tries to convince them otherwise.
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** Annie suggests throwing coins over their shoulder to distract the guards, but Kit counters that they're not allowed to ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreed'' ''Franchise/AssassinsCreed'' this scenario. Everyone tries to convince them otherwise.
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Changed line(s) 3167 (click to see context) from:
** When the party enters the base, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
to:
** When the party enters the base, cult encampment, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
Changed line(s) 3183 (click to see context) from:
to:
* After Anna describes the feeling of utter nihilism that the party begins feeling as these moments of infinite comprehension wash over them, describing that nothing matters and everything will only be united in the destruction of the universe, the ending music begins playing...and then there's a record scratch.
-->'''Artie:''' That's so stupid!
* Wyn gets shaken out of the feeling by mentioning one of the women watching the screens had a tuxedo cat who kept trying to knock over her microphone - right after Maq explains that her cat Hubert is doing the same thing.
* The players then find out the results of a wisdom saving throw they made earlier, and find out they were actually ''madness'' tables. Aelfgifu and Artie both got hallucinations, but Artie was only hit with three minutes while Aelfgifu got ninety ''hours''.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Nap Squad Shared Hallucination Hours!
** Anna points out that thanks to the Well, they know they're hallucinations and they're just annoying.
-->'''Artie:''' That's so stupid!
* Wyn gets shaken out of the feeling by mentioning one of the women watching the screens had a tuxedo cat who kept trying to knock over her microphone - right after Maq explains that her cat Hubert is doing the same thing.
* The players then find out the results of a wisdom saving throw they made earlier, and find out they were actually ''madness'' tables. Aelfgifu and Artie both got hallucinations, but Artie was only hit with three minutes while Aelfgifu got ninety ''hours''.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Nap Squad Shared Hallucination Hours!
** Anna points out that thanks to the Well, they know they're hallucinations and they're just annoying.
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[[AC: Episode 110 - Have You Heard The Good Wyrm?]]
* Aelfgifu attempts to MercyKill a deer stuck in a dark slumber near an ominous black obelisk, but misses and hits the obelisk instead. She comments this is probably for the best because she was very tempted to shoot the obelisk on purpose anyway.
** After Artie and Aelfgifu are knocked out by the sound of the obelisk ringing, Jyll asks Artie some questions to make sure there's nothing else wrong with him.
--> '''Jyll:''' Where are you from?\\
'''Artie:''' My house.
* Artie is surprised to learn that humans only have one eyelid in comparison to Triton's three. Jyll points out that technically they also have a nictating membrane that remains of a vestigial second eyelid. Aelfgifu is disappointed that she can't get a second eyelid back - or a tail.
* Aelfgifu offers her requisite Sending slot to Artie to message Max, since she already has a direct line to her Suncle (Space-uncle). Wyn points out she could use hers to Send the swan that hates her.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, have you ever spoken Swan?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't think so...\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'll teach you. "Honk honk honk -"
** She does Send to Wyn's father to let him know how things are going.
-->'''Wyn's father:''' Eeyup, good to hear from you! Love you.\\
'''Jyll:'''...yep, that's a dad.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's a dad alright!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Checked in, still dad.\\
'''Jyll:''' Survey says: dad.
* After Jyll gets snapped at by Max in, both she and Artie are distraught from their former friend being so mean. After getting a pep-talk from Wyn and Aelfgifu, Artie runs to a resting Jyll and lays down on top of her in apology. Wyn joins them.
-->'''Wyn:''' It's a snuggle-pile Jyll! Accept it!\\
'''Anna:'''Jyll you automatically fail your strength saving throw, you are in a snuggle-pile now.
** Later, Wyn swaps out for Aelfgifu and Jyll is shocked by the combined power of Nap Squad. Wyn says they're professional snugglers.
* Aelfgifu declares the obelisk "The Obelisk of Enforced Napping".
* Before the battle, Aelfgifu tells the party to put all their valuables in her new cloak - then jokes that she's gonna run away with it to impress her space uncles. Jyll sarcastically wonders what she'll do without her 3000 Electrum.
* "How do you do, fellow cultists?"
** When the party enters the base, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
** Night falls, and one of the cultists has to request Jyll remove her helmet because she's casting dim light all around her. Everyone had forgotten that she had the Space Fun Helmet on! Anna also toggles the light it casts on and off on the map, and Annie laughs at the different in weewoo surrounding her.
[[AC: Episode 111 - The Well of Infinity]]
* When asked to make an intelligence check, everyone gets low except for Artie - who gets a ''nineteen''! And then Anna mentions Artie being smarter than Jyll technically. Annie doesn't know what to do with that information.
** Aelfgifu suggests the Well of Infinity might not be a poison but something to do with a person's brain, and Artie is unaffected because he's "established brain dominance".
* Jyll tries talking after drinking from the well and is told she feels the air moving around her teeth as she does so. Annie freaks out and mentions how sometimes she thinks too hard about blinking and can't do it any more, and Maq recalls a time she took a five-hour energy during a road trip and yelled "Annie I can't feel my teeth!" in the middle of reciting the [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Poke-rap]].
** As the effects of the Well hit everyone, Anna describes the knowledge the fleetingly know as they recognize their infetisimal purpose within existence.
-->'''Anna:''' You see your own birth -\\
'''Jyll:''' Agh!\\
'''Anna:''' - and your own death.\\
'''Jyll:''' Eh, okay.
** As Anna goes on and on, Annie grimly notes "Oh, we made an [[Film/EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce Everything Bagel]]".
** Aelfgifu glimpses the Duke of Stardust and the Quicksilver Knight, and Wyn tries asking her how hot they are.
** They even see into other worlds, including glimpse of some strangers sitting in front of computers and talking into microphones.
** After all of that, Jyll declares "I don't think I'm a fan".
* Aelfgifu attempts to MercyKill a deer stuck in a dark slumber near an ominous black obelisk, but misses and hits the obelisk instead. She comments this is probably for the best because she was very tempted to shoot the obelisk on purpose anyway.
** After Artie and Aelfgifu are knocked out by the sound of the obelisk ringing, Jyll asks Artie some questions to make sure there's nothing else wrong with him.
--> '''Jyll:''' Where are you from?\\
'''Artie:''' My house.
* Artie is surprised to learn that humans only have one eyelid in comparison to Triton's three. Jyll points out that technically they also have a nictating membrane that remains of a vestigial second eyelid. Aelfgifu is disappointed that she can't get a second eyelid back - or a tail.
* Aelfgifu offers her requisite Sending slot to Artie to message Max, since she already has a direct line to her Suncle (Space-uncle). Wyn points out she could use hers to Send the swan that hates her.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, have you ever spoken Swan?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't think so...\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'll teach you. "Honk honk honk -"
** She does Send to Wyn's father to let him know how things are going.
-->'''Wyn's father:''' Eeyup, good to hear from you! Love you.\\
'''Jyll:'''...yep, that's a dad.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's a dad alright!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Checked in, still dad.\\
'''Jyll:''' Survey says: dad.
* After Jyll gets snapped at by Max in, both she and Artie are distraught from their former friend being so mean. After getting a pep-talk from Wyn and Aelfgifu, Artie runs to a resting Jyll and lays down on top of her in apology. Wyn joins them.
-->'''Wyn:''' It's a snuggle-pile Jyll! Accept it!\\
'''Anna:'''Jyll you automatically fail your strength saving throw, you are in a snuggle-pile now.
** Later, Wyn swaps out for Aelfgifu and Jyll is shocked by the combined power of Nap Squad. Wyn says they're professional snugglers.
* Aelfgifu declares the obelisk "The Obelisk of Enforced Napping".
* Before the battle, Aelfgifu tells the party to put all their valuables in her new cloak - then jokes that she's gonna run away with it to impress her space uncles. Jyll sarcastically wonders what she'll do without her 3000 Electrum.
* "How do you do, fellow cultists?"
** When the party enters the base, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
** Night falls, and one of the cultists has to request Jyll remove her helmet because she's casting dim light all around her. Everyone had forgotten that she had the Space Fun Helmet on! Anna also toggles the light it casts on and off on the map, and Annie laughs at the different in weewoo surrounding her.
[[AC: Episode 111 - The Well of Infinity]]
* When asked to make an intelligence check, everyone gets low except for Artie - who gets a ''nineteen''! And then Anna mentions Artie being smarter than Jyll technically. Annie doesn't know what to do with that information.
** Aelfgifu suggests the Well of Infinity might not be a poison but something to do with a person's brain, and Artie is unaffected because he's "established brain dominance".
* Jyll tries talking after drinking from the well and is told she feels the air moving around her teeth as she does so. Annie freaks out and mentions how sometimes she thinks too hard about blinking and can't do it any more, and Maq recalls a time she took a five-hour energy during a road trip and yelled "Annie I can't feel my teeth!" in the middle of reciting the [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Poke-rap]].
** As the effects of the Well hit everyone, Anna describes the knowledge the fleetingly know as they recognize their infetisimal purpose within existence.
-->'''Anna:''' You see your own birth -\\
'''Jyll:''' Agh!\\
'''Anna:''' - and your own death.\\
'''Jyll:''' Eh, okay.
** As Anna goes on and on, Annie grimly notes "Oh, we made an [[Film/EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce Everything Bagel]]".
** Aelfgifu glimpses the Duke of Stardust and the Quicksilver Knight, and Wyn tries asking her how hot they are.
** They even see into other worlds, including glimpse of some strangers sitting in front of computers and talking into microphones.
** After all of that, Jyll declares "I don't think I'm a fan".
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Changed line(s) 1387 (click to see context) from:
'''Anne:''' What?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 2878,2879 (click to see context) from:
[[folder: The Crystal Dream Palace (episodes 100-106]]
to:
[[folder: The Crystal Dream Palace (episodes 100-106]]
100-106)]]
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'''Anne:''' But Artie is ''not'' number one with a bullet because he ''doesn't have a gun''.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 2953 (click to see context) from:
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anne has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
to:
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anne Anna has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
Changed line(s) 2958 (click to see context) from:
** Anne asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
to:
** Anne Anna asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
Changed line(s) 2998 (click to see context) from:
'''Jyll:''' ''*{[angrish}}*''
to:
'''Jyll:''' ''*{[angrish}}*''''*{{angrish}}*''
Changed line(s) 3023 (click to see context) from:
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
to:
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaWindWaker [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTheWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
Changed line(s) 3037 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jyll:'' I don't know how to ask this without it sounding like I'm just flirting, so...did I dream about kissing you last night?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 3041 (click to see context) from:
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~\\
to:
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~\\~
Changed line(s) 3069 (click to see context) from:
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.\\
to:
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.\\
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Changed line(s) 3091 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?
to:
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?up?\\
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[[AC: Episode 109 - It Looks Like A Dog But It Is Not A Dog]]
* Jylliana can pick a bead off of the prayer necklace from Baphomet without breaking the string. Anna compares it to picking a glass berry, and she can throw it ninety feet.
-->'''Rio:''' Jyll was in softball.\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah, I feel like I'm the softball bisexuals.\\
'''Alexi:''' I wish I could through a berry ninety feet, like when I throw apples in the woods.
** The bead forms into a flaming, skeletal dog, and the Hydra attacks it instead of the party. Alexi calls it the obligatory "[[Film/Godzilla2014 let them fight]]" moment.
** Aelfgifu doesn't know what to make of the nasty fire blood dog, silently raising her eyebrow at Jyll. Jyll ''also'' isn't sure how to respond, just shrugging and saying "it seems to be working?"
* Anna declares "you're in luck!" after double-checking what the hydra can do, and gets a chorus of "are we?" in response.
* Jyll tells Artie he needs to handle the hydra because it has many heads.
-->'''Artie:''' I'm used to handling many heads, but not like this!
** Shortly after, he gets sprayed in the face with acid because he was just standing out in the open.
--> '''Artie:''' This is because of the head joke, isn't it!\\
'''Jyll:''' Wow, gods ''are'' real.
* Remember in episode 99 when Artie declared he wouldn't remember Dawnstar the fey horse's name? He was right, so he starts shouting "what was the name of the horse? The land-sky-seahorse?"
* Artie tries using his blunder-bass against the Hydra, but only manages to graze it with a swordfish, which the hydra subsequently eats. Alexi waxes poetic about how sad it must be for the swordfish to be thrust into existence and merely hurled though the air and then devoured. Annie says it has big [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy pot of daisies]] energy.
** The same hydra head gets sick from Wyn's Stinking Cloud, and ends up barfing up the swordfish into the water "totally happy and definitely fine".
* Jyll explodes the hydra head engaged with her fiendish spirit "that I guess is now my responsibility".
-->'''Rio:''' That's your pet now!\\
'''Alexi:''' A fiend is not just for Christmas.
** ''The head explodes'', and the spirit starts chomping at the sky like a dog trying to catch bubbles.
** A few turns later, the dog dies and it ''also'' explodes with Death Throes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' It's cool that you're dog's a bomb, Jyll.\\
'''Maq:''': It's cool that you're dog's like a [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Voltorb]] with Self-Destruct.\\
'''Jyll:''' We're learning lots of cool things about dogs today, aren't we.
* Artie's boon pays off, and the pegasi arrive!
-->'''We got a visual on the horses! ''*{{beat}}*'' Oh no, are they all gonna drop horse shit on it?
* They walk up to the lead Pegasus and speaks to them in common...like a surfer bro.
-->'''Zephyrus:''' Oh sorry bro we thought you were cultists!\\
'''Artie:''' Wait, what?\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah you were sneaking around before we thought you were cultists.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, before!\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah, but then Epona say's you're not cultists and we owe her so, like, man, we got you bro.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh bro that's so cool!\\
'''Jylliana:''' This is kinda ruining the majesty of the illusion, isn't it.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' These are Artie's people!
** Zephyrus offers Artie grass, and he offers Zephyrus seaweed in turn. They talk in circles like this for a bit before headbutting each other as bonding, and Artie gets knocked on his ass.
** Zephyrus tells the party that they can't help them at the Well itself because the cultists have been messing with time and space there, adding "that's just how the cookie crumbles". Then he realizes he doesn't know what a cookie is. When Wyn describes it as "a sweet circle that tastes good", he thinks it must be just like grass.
** Zephyrus suggests the group pretend to be cultists to sneak in, and the party briefly realize that they could've avoided a lot of hastle if they'd ever tried that before considering how many cultists they've been dealing with.
** Artie and Zephyrus try to fist-bump, but Zephyrus smacks his hand with his wing instead and injures Artie further.
* Jylliana can pick a bead off of the prayer necklace from Baphomet without breaking the string. Anna compares it to picking a glass berry, and she can throw it ninety feet.
-->'''Rio:''' Jyll was in softball.\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah, I feel like I'm the softball bisexuals.\\
'''Alexi:''' I wish I could through a berry ninety feet, like when I throw apples in the woods.
** The bead forms into a flaming, skeletal dog, and the Hydra attacks it instead of the party. Alexi calls it the obligatory "[[Film/Godzilla2014 let them fight]]" moment.
** Aelfgifu doesn't know what to make of the nasty fire blood dog, silently raising her eyebrow at Jyll. Jyll ''also'' isn't sure how to respond, just shrugging and saying "it seems to be working?"
* Anna declares "you're in luck!" after double-checking what the hydra can do, and gets a chorus of "are we?" in response.
* Jyll tells Artie he needs to handle the hydra because it has many heads.
-->'''Artie:''' I'm used to handling many heads, but not like this!
** Shortly after, he gets sprayed in the face with acid because he was just standing out in the open.
--> '''Artie:''' This is because of the head joke, isn't it!\\
'''Jyll:''' Wow, gods ''are'' real.
* Remember in episode 99 when Artie declared he wouldn't remember Dawnstar the fey horse's name? He was right, so he starts shouting "what was the name of the horse? The land-sky-seahorse?"
* Artie tries using his blunder-bass against the Hydra, but only manages to graze it with a swordfish, which the hydra subsequently eats. Alexi waxes poetic about how sad it must be for the swordfish to be thrust into existence and merely hurled though the air and then devoured. Annie says it has big [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy pot of daisies]] energy.
** The same hydra head gets sick from Wyn's Stinking Cloud, and ends up barfing up the swordfish into the water "totally happy and definitely fine".
* Jyll explodes the hydra head engaged with her fiendish spirit "that I guess is now my responsibility".
-->'''Rio:''' That's your pet now!\\
'''Alexi:''' A fiend is not just for Christmas.
** ''The head explodes'', and the spirit starts chomping at the sky like a dog trying to catch bubbles.
** A few turns later, the dog dies and it ''also'' explodes with Death Throes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' It's cool that you're dog's a bomb, Jyll.\\
'''Maq:''': It's cool that you're dog's like a [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Voltorb]] with Self-Destruct.\\
'''Jyll:''' We're learning lots of cool things about dogs today, aren't we.
* Artie's boon pays off, and the pegasi arrive!
-->'''We got a visual on the horses! ''*{{beat}}*'' Oh no, are they all gonna drop horse shit on it?
* They walk up to the lead Pegasus and speaks to them in common...like a surfer bro.
-->'''Zephyrus:''' Oh sorry bro we thought you were cultists!\\
'''Artie:''' Wait, what?\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah you were sneaking around before we thought you were cultists.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, before!\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah, but then Epona say's you're not cultists and we owe her so, like, man, we got you bro.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh bro that's so cool!\\
'''Jylliana:''' This is kinda ruining the majesty of the illusion, isn't it.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' These are Artie's people!
** Zephyrus offers Artie grass, and he offers Zephyrus seaweed in turn. They talk in circles like this for a bit before headbutting each other as bonding, and Artie gets knocked on his ass.
** Zephyrus tells the party that they can't help them at the Well itself because the cultists have been messing with time and space there, adding "that's just how the cookie crumbles". Then he realizes he doesn't know what a cookie is. When Wyn describes it as "a sweet circle that tastes good", he thinks it must be just like grass.
** Zephyrus suggests the group pretend to be cultists to sneak in, and the party briefly realize that they could've avoided a lot of hastle if they'd ever tried that before considering how many cultists they've been dealing with.
** Artie and Zephyrus try to fist-bump, but Zephyrus smacks his hand with his wing instead and injures Artie further.
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Changed line(s) 1718 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jyll:''' How have you spent so much time above sea level and still not know what a fire is [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid or, what's the word, burns?]]\\
to:
-->'''Jyll:''' How have you spent so much time above sea level and still not know what a fire is [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 or, what's the word, burns?]]\\
Changed line(s) 2383 (click to see context) from:
** A discussion on Artie's #[=FishNips=] leads to a discussion on whether [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid Ariel]] lactates.
to:
** A discussion on Artie's #[=FishNips=] leads to a discussion on whether [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 Ariel]] lactates.
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Changed line(s) 3035 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' Horse
to:
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' HorseHorse]]
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[[/folder]]
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[[AC: Episode 13 - You Forget About The Asteroids]]
* This episode was released after episode 108 of the main show, but everything's fine and they definitely didn't trigger a hydra encounter.
* Jylliana is stressed about how many books they're getting from Aelfgifu's dads. Veli suggests they could be passing on requests from other Archfey at this point.
* No one knows what an "AO3" is, they'd have to ask Aelfgifu's dad. Artie's down, because then he'd get to meet them (and fuck them).
* The story is about a woman (Nessiana) who's piloting a Spelljammer and, thanks to being able to see everything going on in the ship while they do so, watching one of her crewmates (William) pleasure himself. Upon reading this, Artie is shocked that they really can see everything in real life too. Jyll and Wyn awkwardly state that they need to avert their focus when they're piloting.
** They can also ''smell'' everything while they're piloting it, and Jyll admits she's caught a few whiffs.
* Artie mentions that he once knew a Nessie, who he describes as "a very smart dog, but big". Veli demands to know if that's a compliment for an animal or a really bad burn for a person (it was the latter).
* When Nessiana begins herself to masturbate while in the helm, Veli states that they've been in ''so'' many ships that have crashed for this exact same reason. Artie tells them they should stop letting mammals pilot.
-->'''Wyn, reading''': The Chakra, tied directly into her mind, jolted like it had been struck by an asteroid.\\
'''Veli:''' Because it had been struck by an asteroid.
** Aelfgifu wonders if this story is a cautionary tale meant to prevent this from happening to the crew. Jylliana awkwardly stresses that events like this have ''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial never]]'' happened on the ship before. Artie and Maq don't believe her.
-->'''Veli:''' Listen, this is not a rabbit hole we wanna go any further down, and we're gonna end up knowing each other a lot better than we want to.\\
'''Artie:''' I mean you all know me very well.\\
'''Veli:''' We know you ''too'' well. I wish I knew you less.
* After an awkward silence as everyoen thinks on the implications of Jyll's denial, Veli can't help but circle back to Artie's earlier comment.
-->'''Veli:''' So here's the thing: if I were talking about like, a person, like a girl, and I said she was as smart as a really smart dog, that might be actually the meanest thing I could ever say about her.\\
'''Artie:''' Yeah but this was not a person. Well...a reall smart dog is also a person, know?\\
'''Veli:''' I think you need three lawyers in the room before you can answer that question.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Breadstix is a person.\\
'''Veli:''' Legally?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' What's laws?\\
'''Veli:''' Does Breadstix have citizenship?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Do I have a citizenship?\\
'''Veli:''' I don't actually know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'm pretty sure I don't. Breadstix is as much a person as I am.
* Jyll asks who's helming at this moment. Veli says it's Lachlan, and Jyll is ''mortified''. Then the ship jerks, and Veli yells at him not to crash the ship again.
-->'''Artie:''' Wait, hold on, is that what happened?\\
'''Jyll:''' ''Again?!''\\
'''Anna:''' You feel him pump the breaks a few times.\\
'''Alexi:''' Is that all he's pumping?
** Jyll announces she's gonna kellhaul herself to get out of the situation, while muttering under her breath "how do they know?" This is because they were reading [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/41535327 genuine Jemjammer smutfic]] with the names changed.
* This episode was released after episode 108 of the main show, but everything's fine and they definitely didn't trigger a hydra encounter.
* Jylliana is stressed about how many books they're getting from Aelfgifu's dads. Veli suggests they could be passing on requests from other Archfey at this point.
* No one knows what an "AO3" is, they'd have to ask Aelfgifu's dad. Artie's down, because then he'd get to meet them (and fuck them).
* The story is about a woman (Nessiana) who's piloting a Spelljammer and, thanks to being able to see everything going on in the ship while they do so, watching one of her crewmates (William) pleasure himself. Upon reading this, Artie is shocked that they really can see everything in real life too. Jyll and Wyn awkwardly state that they need to avert their focus when they're piloting.
** They can also ''smell'' everything while they're piloting it, and Jyll admits she's caught a few whiffs.
* Artie mentions that he once knew a Nessie, who he describes as "a very smart dog, but big". Veli demands to know if that's a compliment for an animal or a really bad burn for a person (it was the latter).
* When Nessiana begins herself to masturbate while in the helm, Veli states that they've been in ''so'' many ships that have crashed for this exact same reason. Artie tells them they should stop letting mammals pilot.
-->'''Wyn, reading''': The Chakra, tied directly into her mind, jolted like it had been struck by an asteroid.\\
'''Veli:''' Because it had been struck by an asteroid.
** Aelfgifu wonders if this story is a cautionary tale meant to prevent this from happening to the crew. Jylliana awkwardly stresses that events like this have ''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial never]]'' happened on the ship before. Artie and Maq don't believe her.
-->'''Veli:''' Listen, this is not a rabbit hole we wanna go any further down, and we're gonna end up knowing each other a lot better than we want to.\\
'''Artie:''' I mean you all know me very well.\\
'''Veli:''' We know you ''too'' well. I wish I knew you less.
* After an awkward silence as everyoen thinks on the implications of Jyll's denial, Veli can't help but circle back to Artie's earlier comment.
-->'''Veli:''' So here's the thing: if I were talking about like, a person, like a girl, and I said she was as smart as a really smart dog, that might be actually the meanest thing I could ever say about her.\\
'''Artie:''' Yeah but this was not a person. Well...a reall smart dog is also a person, know?\\
'''Veli:''' I think you need three lawyers in the room before you can answer that question.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Breadstix is a person.\\
'''Veli:''' Legally?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' What's laws?\\
'''Veli:''' Does Breadstix have citizenship?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Do I have a citizenship?\\
'''Veli:''' I don't actually know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'm pretty sure I don't. Breadstix is as much a person as I am.
* Jyll asks who's helming at this moment. Veli says it's Lachlan, and Jyll is ''mortified''. Then the ship jerks, and Veli yells at him not to crash the ship again.
-->'''Artie:''' Wait, hold on, is that what happened?\\
'''Jyll:''' ''Again?!''\\
'''Anna:''' You feel him pump the breaks a few times.\\
'''Alexi:''' Is that all he's pumping?
** Jyll announces she's gonna kellhaul herself to get out of the situation, while muttering under her breath "how do they know?" This is because they were reading [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/41535327 genuine Jemjammer smutfic]] with the names changed.
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* The first line of the episode is Wyn saying that she's going to outlive ''everyone'', so if anyone gets to have an existential crisis it's her.
** Aelfgifu is twenty years old, so naturally she declares she's going to live forever. Then the voices she's been hearing from the ether send her the equivalnet of a thumbs up emoji.
* When Aelfgifu and Wyn investigate a unicorn, she leaves Breadstix behind to bite Jyll's ears if something goes wrong because "I'll already be in trouble, what's one more 'your pseudodragon bit my ear'."
** The unicorn's name roughly translates to "Dappled Sunlight Through the Leaves", which angers Annie because that's a wolf name.
** They return to camp and find Breadstix anxiously hovering over Jyll's ear and, disappointed that it doens't get to bite her, gnaws on Aelfgifu's finger instead.
* Explaining Unicorns to Artie, Jyll describes a "land-sea-horse-narwhal".
* Jyll isn't surprised that the Unicorn isn't strong enough to defeat the World Eater, since it's a thing that eats suns. Kit mentions it's only CR 5 and it probably wouldn't be a fair fight.
-->'''Kit:''' I gotta run a simulation to see how many CR 5 unicorns it takes to kill a god.\\
'''Maq:''' We are each two unicorns.\\
'''Annie:''' Inside of you are two unicorns?\\
'''Maq:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLastUnicorn One yearns to turn into see foam, and the other yearns to...chill out with a little girl?]]\\
'''Annie:''' Kill a bull?\\
'''Maq:''' Kill a bull and cry about being a woman.\\
'''Annie:''' Por que no los dos?
* Later on, Aelfgifu sees what she thinks is an osprey carrying a salmon...then looks closer and realizes it's a gryphon carrying a dolphin.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?
'''Artie:''' That dolphin probably said some shit.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah that dolphin ain't blameless.
* Upon finding a lake where a serpent that hates the Unicorn is allegedly lurking, Aelfgifu uses Beast Sense to see if it gets pinged. She's immediately "annihilated by the sensation of a thousand fish", which Annie says is the episode title and Alexi declares is her band name.
** Aelfgifu remembers a story Greyson told her about there being a snake in a lake near their home with multiple heads and he'd say "you better not fuck with it or I'll know", just like a typical dad.
** Jyll offers to electrocute the water, but would feel bad because it would damage everything in the lake. Aelfgifu reiterates that she knows ''exactly'' how many fish are in there.
* They decide to use Artie as bait to lure the Serpent into a vulnerable position, and also vibe check the serpent because he can talk to sea creatures. He does this by cupping his hands over his mouth and calling "Hey! Hey, you good!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Oooooooh goddess.\\
'''Kit:''' I have a very important question. How loud are you attempting to be right now?\\
'''Rio:''' Real loud.\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, there goes any of that conversation.
** And of course, when the multi-headed serpent emerges from the water, Artie cheerfully declares "we found it!"
* In the stinger, Maq has to check on a weird undulating moaning noise coming from outside her window. Kit assures her that that's just what Christmas sounds like.
** Aelfgifu is twenty years old, so naturally she declares she's going to live forever. Then the voices she's been hearing from the ether send her the equivalnet of a thumbs up emoji.
* When Aelfgifu and Wyn investigate a unicorn, she leaves Breadstix behind to bite Jyll's ears if something goes wrong because "I'll already be in trouble, what's one more 'your pseudodragon bit my ear'."
** The unicorn's name roughly translates to "Dappled Sunlight Through the Leaves", which angers Annie because that's a wolf name.
** They return to camp and find Breadstix anxiously hovering over Jyll's ear and, disappointed that it doens't get to bite her, gnaws on Aelfgifu's finger instead.
* Explaining Unicorns to Artie, Jyll describes a "land-sea-horse-narwhal".
* Jyll isn't surprised that the Unicorn isn't strong enough to defeat the World Eater, since it's a thing that eats suns. Kit mentions it's only CR 5 and it probably wouldn't be a fair fight.
-->'''Kit:''' I gotta run a simulation to see how many CR 5 unicorns it takes to kill a god.\\
'''Maq:''' We are each two unicorns.\\
'''Annie:''' Inside of you are two unicorns?\\
'''Maq:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLastUnicorn One yearns to turn into see foam, and the other yearns to...chill out with a little girl?]]\\
'''Annie:''' Kill a bull?\\
'''Maq:''' Kill a bull and cry about being a woman.\\
'''Annie:''' Por que no los dos?
* Later on, Aelfgifu sees what she thinks is an osprey carrying a salmon...then looks closer and realizes it's a gryphon carrying a dolphin.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?
'''Artie:''' That dolphin probably said some shit.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah that dolphin ain't blameless.
* Upon finding a lake where a serpent that hates the Unicorn is allegedly lurking, Aelfgifu uses Beast Sense to see if it gets pinged. She's immediately "annihilated by the sensation of a thousand fish", which Annie says is the episode title and Alexi declares is her band name.
** Aelfgifu remembers a story Greyson told her about there being a snake in a lake near their home with multiple heads and he'd say "you better not fuck with it or I'll know", just like a typical dad.
** Jyll offers to electrocute the water, but would feel bad because it would damage everything in the lake. Aelfgifu reiterates that she knows ''exactly'' how many fish are in there.
* They decide to use Artie as bait to lure the Serpent into a vulnerable position, and also vibe check the serpent because he can talk to sea creatures. He does this by cupping his hands over his mouth and calling "Hey! Hey, you good!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Oooooooh goddess.\\
'''Kit:''' I have a very important question. How loud are you attempting to be right now?\\
'''Rio:''' Real loud.\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, there goes any of that conversation.
** And of course, when the multi-headed serpent emerges from the water, Artie cheerfully declares "we found it!"
* In the stinger, Maq has to check on a weird undulating moaning noise coming from outside her window. Kit assures her that that's just what Christmas sounds like.
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pt. 1(episodes 92-99)]]
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[[folder: The Crystal Dream Palace (episodes 100-106]]
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[[AC: Episode 101: The Revenge of the Nasty Pit]]
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[[AC: Episode 101: 101 - The Revenge of the Nasty Pit]]
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[[folder: Taphos pt. 2 (episodes 107-present)]]
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' Horse
* Jylliana immediately needs to burn a spell slot to Sending at Tuatha. Aelfgifu gets really concerned that they'll need that slot later.
-->'''Jyll:'' I don't know how to ask this without it sounding like I'm just flirting, so...did I dream about kissing you last night?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''That's'' what you're spending a third level spell slot on?!\\
'''Artie:''' Sounds appropriate.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' If I die -\\
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~\\
** Then Jyll doesn't realize she said her Sending out loud. Aelfgifu points out that Jyll always mutters her Sendings out loud to get the word count right.
* Artie's gun is named "The Blunderbass". Kit doesn't mind any of the new items the party has because whenever they get new stuff Kit just increases the HP that the monsters have. But also, the Blunderbass is basically useless.
-->'''Anna:''' It's just musket!
* Everyone gets excited when, during their travels, they hear norse noises. Aelfgifu tells them to calm down - or rather, hold their horses.
-->'''Annie:''' But I'm champing at the bit!\\
'''Alexi:''' Oh I shouldn't have...\\
'''Kit:''' You opened this door.\\
'''Annie:''' You opened the barn door and I walked right in.\\
'''Kit:''' Jylliana you take four psychic damage.
** Aelfgifu scouts ahead and sees a heard of pegasi, and takes a moment to look in awe "like she's in ''Film/JurassicPark''", and says that if she had sunglasses she'd be pulling them off.
* Aelfgifu really wants to talk to them, and though she can speak to animals and tries to simulate ear swivels as well, ultimately they are not animals but magical creatures (a crucial difference). Aelfgifu does notice an attitude akin to the swan in the lead pegasi.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Oh no, the horse is racist...
* The party stumble into, and manage to struggle out of, a section of jungle full of vines growing fast enough to entangle them. Since they didn't actualyl fight anything, they don't get any experience.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Hold on everyone, on second thought, I'd like to level up, maybe we should go back.\\
'''Jyll:''' I am sure we will have so many opportunities to fight shit later.\\
'''Artie:''' This is an island of monsters.\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm sure if you ask the fates loud enough, a whole-ass chimera will just land on us and it'll be great.\\
''*Kit starts laughing*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That was not an ask!
* Jyll Sendings to Captain Bondar, mentioning the weird dreams but not going in to detail. Captain Bondar appreciates her "not reciting her dream journal" to her.
** Annie also Sendings Max, but has to catch Kit up on what happened the last time she did so.
-->'''Annie:''' Jylliana was like "hey, do you wanna ''actually'' tell me what the fuck the problem is?" and he was like "well it turns out I'm hot and sad".
* Jyll now gets to have the "what are we" convo over Sending herself!
-->'''Jyll:''' We made it from the beach to the woods. Safe travels today, how are you? No worries if not but do you maybe wanna be my boyfriend?\\
'''Lachlan:''' What was that you said? Your last word cut off. Fill me in when possible, I'll be thinking of you, can't wait to see you.
** Cut to Jyll staring into space slack-jawed before counting on her fingers and realizing her message was cut off at "maybe wanna be". Then she grabs her pillow and screams into it.
-->'''Wyn:''' Does that mean he said yes? Or something went wrong.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.\\
** Aelfgifu offers Jyll her symapthies, but also tells her to keep screaming into her pillow because they're surrounded by monster-filled woods.
* Wyn assures Jyll that Lachlan and her will laugh over this later...in a hundred years with 50 babies. She doesn't know how long non-elves live. Jyll explains that aasimar can probably get to 150, but half-orcs don't live that long. And the episode ends with her repeating that with dread.
[[AC: Episode 108 - Annihilated by the Sensation of a Thousand Fish]]
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' Horse
* Jylliana immediately needs to burn a spell slot to Sending at Tuatha. Aelfgifu gets really concerned that they'll need that slot later.
-->'''Jyll:'' I don't know how to ask this without it sounding like I'm just flirting, so...did I dream about kissing you last night?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''That's'' what you're spending a third level spell slot on?!\\
'''Artie:''' Sounds appropriate.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' If I die -\\
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~\\
** Then Jyll doesn't realize she said her Sending out loud. Aelfgifu points out that Jyll always mutters her Sendings out loud to get the word count right.
* Artie's gun is named "The Blunderbass". Kit doesn't mind any of the new items the party has because whenever they get new stuff Kit just increases the HP that the monsters have. But also, the Blunderbass is basically useless.
-->'''Anna:''' It's just musket!
* Everyone gets excited when, during their travels, they hear norse noises. Aelfgifu tells them to calm down - or rather, hold their horses.
-->'''Annie:''' But I'm champing at the bit!\\
'''Alexi:''' Oh I shouldn't have...\\
'''Kit:''' You opened this door.\\
'''Annie:''' You opened the barn door and I walked right in.\\
'''Kit:''' Jylliana you take four psychic damage.
** Aelfgifu scouts ahead and sees a heard of pegasi, and takes a moment to look in awe "like she's in ''Film/JurassicPark''", and says that if she had sunglasses she'd be pulling them off.
* Aelfgifu really wants to talk to them, and though she can speak to animals and tries to simulate ear swivels as well, ultimately they are not animals but magical creatures (a crucial difference). Aelfgifu does notice an attitude akin to the swan in the lead pegasi.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Oh no, the horse is racist...
* The party stumble into, and manage to struggle out of, a section of jungle full of vines growing fast enough to entangle them. Since they didn't actualyl fight anything, they don't get any experience.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Hold on everyone, on second thought, I'd like to level up, maybe we should go back.\\
'''Jyll:''' I am sure we will have so many opportunities to fight shit later.\\
'''Artie:''' This is an island of monsters.\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm sure if you ask the fates loud enough, a whole-ass chimera will just land on us and it'll be great.\\
''*Kit starts laughing*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That was not an ask!
* Jyll Sendings to Captain Bondar, mentioning the weird dreams but not going in to detail. Captain Bondar appreciates her "not reciting her dream journal" to her.
** Annie also Sendings Max, but has to catch Kit up on what happened the last time she did so.
-->'''Annie:''' Jylliana was like "hey, do you wanna ''actually'' tell me what the fuck the problem is?" and he was like "well it turns out I'm hot and sad".
* Jyll now gets to have the "what are we" convo over Sending herself!
-->'''Jyll:''' We made it from the beach to the woods. Safe travels today, how are you? No worries if not but do you maybe wanna be my boyfriend?\\
'''Lachlan:''' What was that you said? Your last word cut off. Fill me in when possible, I'll be thinking of you, can't wait to see you.
** Cut to Jyll staring into space slack-jawed before counting on her fingers and realizing her message was cut off at "maybe wanna be". Then she grabs her pillow and screams into it.
-->'''Wyn:''' Does that mean he said yes? Or something went wrong.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.\\
** Aelfgifu offers Jyll her symapthies, but also tells her to keep screaming into her pillow because they're surrounded by monster-filled woods.
* Wyn assures Jyll that Lachlan and her will laugh over this later...in a hundred years with 50 babies. She doesn't know how long non-elves live. Jyll explains that aasimar can probably get to 150, but half-orcs don't live that long. And the episode ends with her repeating that with dread.
[[AC: Episode 108 - Annihilated by the Sensation of a Thousand Fish]]
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* When Tuatha sends out 49 lightning damage, Jylliana gets a little flustered - and then immediately gets annoyed with herself because of it.
[[AC: Episode 106 - Gem Jammed Part 2]]
* The previous episode ended with Aelfgifu getting a natural 20 crit on one of the constructs. This episode starts with her being told constructs are immune to psychic damage and everyone whining.
** Tuatha turns that immunity from psychic damage to resistance thanks to the Wild Magic table, and in turn grows 3 years younger.
-->'''Jake:''' I'm like seventeen now.\\
'''Annie:''' Do you have really bag acne?\\
'''Jake:''' No she has perfect skin forever.
* Jyll casts Harm and does enough damage to Markess' crystal shield...that it detonates.
-->'''Jake:''' I don't think it ''needs'' too...\\
'''Anna:''' Oh yes, it detonates!
* Tuatha is planning on using fireball, and there's a good possibility that she might hit everyone else.
-->'''Alexi:''' We brought Jake on to record Jemjammer with us...and he wiped the party.
** Tuatha's Wild Magic ends up making her afraid of Jylliana.
-->'''Jake:''' Aw beans! She kissed me too good earlier!
* One of Malkess' attacks is spitting her teeth at her foes. Everyone jokes that she's having one of ''those'' kinds of dreams.
* Tuatha figures the reason she didn't subconciously reach out to her party members Solvin and Flint is because her party doesn't care about feelings.
-->'''Tuatha:''' I think you lot are using up our feeling alotment and that's why we don't really do it, but - like Solvin would catch on fire if we tried to do emotions at him so that'd be...really funny but pretty awful.
* Tuatha elaborates on her queenliness, namely that she's also been deposed. Jyll admits that that does actually make her feel better.
** When Artie says that he had to fake his death, Tuatha offers him a hug. Thanks to the height difference, he ends up shoved into her bosom.
* While everyone else makes plans to do brunch, Jyll mutters out loud "it's weird kissing someone without tusks". But it's during a lull in the conversation, and everyone hears her.
* Mishakael got help from Baphomet from earlier, and passes on rewards he gave for them.
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
* Artie gets a carved wooden fish. Except no, it's a ''gun'' (that can shoot various types of fish).
-->'''Alexi:''' Nap squad has a gun.\\
'''Annie:''' The prophecy has been fulfilled.
** Artie claims he can't read the instructions. Annie says they must be written in Fin-ish.
** Jylliana gets a necklace of sulphurous prayer beads that make her ''very'' uncomfortable.
** Aelfgifu gets a cloak that actually manifested from the stars, and it lets her fill it with items that appear on the inside in the form of constellations. She declares she's gonna fill it with so many snack constellations.
[[AC: Episode 106 - Gem Jammed Part 2]]
* The previous episode ended with Aelfgifu getting a natural 20 crit on one of the constructs. This episode starts with her being told constructs are immune to psychic damage and everyone whining.
** Tuatha turns that immunity from psychic damage to resistance thanks to the Wild Magic table, and in turn grows 3 years younger.
-->'''Jake:''' I'm like seventeen now.\\
'''Annie:''' Do you have really bag acne?\\
'''Jake:''' No she has perfect skin forever.
* Jyll casts Harm and does enough damage to Markess' crystal shield...that it detonates.
-->'''Jake:''' I don't think it ''needs'' too...\\
'''Anna:''' Oh yes, it detonates!
* Tuatha is planning on using fireball, and there's a good possibility that she might hit everyone else.
-->'''Alexi:''' We brought Jake on to record Jemjammer with us...and he wiped the party.
** Tuatha's Wild Magic ends up making her afraid of Jylliana.
-->'''Jake:''' Aw beans! She kissed me too good earlier!
* One of Malkess' attacks is spitting her teeth at her foes. Everyone jokes that she's having one of ''those'' kinds of dreams.
* Tuatha figures the reason she didn't subconciously reach out to her party members Solvin and Flint is because her party doesn't care about feelings.
-->'''Tuatha:''' I think you lot are using up our feeling alotment and that's why we don't really do it, but - like Solvin would catch on fire if we tried to do emotions at him so that'd be...really funny but pretty awful.
* Tuatha elaborates on her queenliness, namely that she's also been deposed. Jyll admits that that does actually make her feel better.
** When Artie says that he had to fake his death, Tuatha offers him a hug. Thanks to the height difference, he ends up shoved into her bosom.
* While everyone else makes plans to do brunch, Jyll mutters out loud "it's weird kissing someone without tusks". But it's during a lull in the conversation, and everyone hears her.
* Mishakael got help from Baphomet from earlier, and passes on rewards he gave for them.
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
* Artie gets a carved wooden fish. Except no, it's a ''gun'' (that can shoot various types of fish).
-->'''Alexi:''' Nap squad has a gun.\\
'''Annie:''' The prophecy has been fulfilled.
** Artie claims he can't read the instructions. Annie says they must be written in Fin-ish.
** Jylliana gets a necklace of sulphurous prayer beads that make her ''very'' uncomfortable.
** Aelfgifu gets a cloak that actually manifested from the stars, and it lets her fill it with items that appear on the inside in the form of constellations. She declares she's gonna fill it with so many snack constellations.
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[[AC: Episode 105 - Gem Jammed Part 1]]
* The secret at the heart of the Dream Dungeon turns out to be [[Podcast/TheFallenGods Tuatha of Krynn]]. Who now has electric blue skin. Artie wasn't there for this, so he doesn't recognize her.
-->'''Artie:''' The princess is blue, I get to kiss her first.
** Wyn points out the last clue they got referred to a kiss of "love and hate" and says that Jyll is the best candidate for kissing Tuatha after all. Jyll can't help but agree after speedreading the poem again.
* Wyn asks why Tuatha's blue, and Jyll says [[Film/MeanGirls you can't just ask people why they're blue]].
* Jyll freaks a little when she realizes Tuatha, when not cursed, is the same height as her.
-->'''Anna:''' You've lost your only advantage!
* As Artie introduces himself and says he's a king, Tuatha responds "ooh, me too".
-->'''Jyll:''' Wait I'm sorry, you're what? Are you dream princess or a princess for real?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's entrapment.\\
'''Tuatha:''' I'm not a princess, no. I'm a queen.\\
'''Jyll:''' What?!\\
'''Tuatha:''' Similarly a mess, it's fine.\\
'''Jyll:''' Ugh, what is it with ''hot royalty''?!
* After Malkess the night hag reveals herself and creates crystal copies of the illusions the party faced earlier:
-->'''Jyll:''' Cool friends of yours Tuatha!\\
'''Tuatha:''' So I don't know her. Or I do and I forgot who this is, in which case I'm very sorry.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' That's relatable, it happens.
** They also have to give Tuatha the lowdown on who the crystal dopplegangers are, leading to Tuatha finall getting the skinny of Jyll and Lachlan's...situation.
-->'''Jyll:''' That's my...not-boyfriend?\\
'''Wyn:''' It's your boyfriend, Jyll.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Y'all haven't figured that out? You haven't put a ring on that yet?\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean we've gone out a couple times, we made out a bunch, but I'm just not totally sure if we're official...\\
'''Tuatha:''' Have you tried asking?\\
'''Wyn:''' That's what I said!\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm working on it.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Okay. ''*{{beat}}*'' Just seems like the easiest way to go about solving that.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*{[angrish}}*''
* When fighting his own doppleganger, Artie declares this way more messed up than making out with himself.
* Wyn's somatic component for casting Shatter is saying "[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Ping!]]"
* The secret at the heart of the Dream Dungeon turns out to be [[Podcast/TheFallenGods Tuatha of Krynn]]. Who now has electric blue skin. Artie wasn't there for this, so he doesn't recognize her.
-->'''Artie:''' The princess is blue, I get to kiss her first.
** Wyn points out the last clue they got referred to a kiss of "love and hate" and says that Jyll is the best candidate for kissing Tuatha after all. Jyll can't help but agree after speedreading the poem again.
* Wyn asks why Tuatha's blue, and Jyll says [[Film/MeanGirls you can't just ask people why they're blue]].
* Jyll freaks a little when she realizes Tuatha, when not cursed, is the same height as her.
-->'''Anna:''' You've lost your only advantage!
* As Artie introduces himself and says he's a king, Tuatha responds "ooh, me too".
-->'''Jyll:''' Wait I'm sorry, you're what? Are you dream princess or a princess for real?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's entrapment.\\
'''Tuatha:''' I'm not a princess, no. I'm a queen.\\
'''Jyll:''' What?!\\
'''Tuatha:''' Similarly a mess, it's fine.\\
'''Jyll:''' Ugh, what is it with ''hot royalty''?!
* After Malkess the night hag reveals herself and creates crystal copies of the illusions the party faced earlier:
-->'''Jyll:''' Cool friends of yours Tuatha!\\
'''Tuatha:''' So I don't know her. Or I do and I forgot who this is, in which case I'm very sorry.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' That's relatable, it happens.
** They also have to give Tuatha the lowdown on who the crystal dopplegangers are, leading to Tuatha finall getting the skinny of Jyll and Lachlan's...situation.
-->'''Jyll:''' That's my...not-boyfriend?\\
'''Wyn:''' It's your boyfriend, Jyll.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Y'all haven't figured that out? You haven't put a ring on that yet?\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean we've gone out a couple times, we made out a bunch, but I'm just not totally sure if we're official...\\
'''Tuatha:''' Have you tried asking?\\
'''Wyn:''' That's what I said!\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm working on it.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Okay. ''*{{beat}}*'' Just seems like the easiest way to go about solving that.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*{[angrish}}*''
* When fighting his own doppleganger, Artie declares this way more messed up than making out with himself.
* Wyn's somatic component for casting Shatter is saying "[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Ping!]]"
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'''Annie:''' Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold up. Hold up. We're gonna have to get into this in like a ''WesternAnimation/{{Cars}}''-world conversation later or like, a "the [[Literature/HarryPotter Weasley]]'s are clearly Irish Catholic" conversation later, we can't do this, we are setting this ''aside'', Artie go!\\
to:
'''Annie:''' Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold up. Hold up. We're gonna have to get into this in like a ''WesternAnimation/{{Cars}}''-world ''Franchise/{{Cars}}''-world conversation later or like, a "the [[Literature/HarryPotter Weasley]]'s are clearly Irish Catholic" conversation later, we can't do this, we are setting this ''aside'', Artie go!\\
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** Maq describes a wall of [=TVs=] where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
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** Maq describes a wall of [=TVs=] where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', ''Film/AntMan1'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
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[[AC: Episode 104 - It's Worked So Far]]
* Jyll and Wyn navigate a hedge maze by keeping their hand on the left wall and going as fast as they can. Artie decides to cheat by tossing Aeflgifu into the air so she can see further.
* Jyll and Wyn navigate a hedge maze by keeping their hand on the left wall and going as fast as they can. Artie decides to cheat by tossing Aeflgifu into the air so she can see further.
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'''Alexi:''' Why is a snake with an extra head not a beast? I ask you, Gary Gygax's ghost?
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".
to:
'''Alexi:''' Why is a snake with an extra head not a beast? I ask you, Gary Gygax's ghost?
ghost?\\
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".\\
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".\\
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''*beat as everyone stares at him*''
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''*beat as everyone stares at him*''him*''\\
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** Maq describes a wall of TVs where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
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** Maq describes a wall of TVs [=TVs=] where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
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'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\\\
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'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\\\\\
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** Trying to motivate Artie after seeing the vision, everyone lists important things about him - these include "is bad at chores", "doesn't understand spiders", "doesn't have a gun", and "fucks a lot".
** Anne asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
-->'''Wyn:''' I have a question. Is that incest?\\
'''Artie:''' No, it's me.\\
'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\\\
'''Artie:''' Guys, I'm a really great kisser!\\
'''Jyll:''' ...yeah, I believe that.
** Then he pulls the party into a huge bear hug, and Wyn asks him if he can crack her spine while he's at it.
* Jyll hands out juiceboxes, one of which is non-alcoholic wine for Wyn (who prestidigitates it to taste better). It's sparkling grape juice from Champaignsphere.
* In the stinger, Maq firmly orders her cat to "get on the lap or don't, it's your choice", and everyone is flustered by "dom Wyn".
** Anne asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
-->'''Wyn:''' I have a question. Is that incest?\\
'''Artie:''' No, it's me.\\
'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\\\
'''Artie:''' Guys, I'm a really great kisser!\\
'''Jyll:''' ...yeah, I believe that.
** Then he pulls the party into a huge bear hug, and Wyn asks him if he can crack her spine while he's at it.
* Jyll hands out juiceboxes, one of which is non-alcoholic wine for Wyn (who prestidigitates it to taste better). It's sparkling grape juice from Champaignsphere.
* In the stinger, Maq firmly orders her cat to "get on the lap or don't, it's your choice", and everyone is flustered by "dom Wyn".
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[[AC: Episode 103 - Who You Are Right Now]]
* Artie and Wyn/Cacophony's doors are left, and they're both ''very'' sexy doors.
* Jylliana suggests Artie use his cannon to shoot the pedastel and skip the test of character.
* Confronted with a crystal staircase, Artie goes down and Rio starts WaxingLyrical.
-->'''Rio:''' Down down, do-be-be-be-do-down.\\
'''Annie:'''...[[Music/FallOutBoy Sugar we're goin' down swingin']]?\\
'''Anne:''' But Artie is ''not'' number one with a bullet because he ''doesn't have a gun''.\\
'''Rio:''' Aw, way to rub it in!
** The players joke about not following Artie down, and instead suggest closing the door to wait. Then Rio counters that Artie would close the door himself. "Um, excuse me, this is private."
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anne has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
** When the door finally opens, it's because the chain holding it shut snapped in two - and Jyll senses divine magic on it.
-->'''Artie:''' Sweet, God is on my side! That usually doesn't happen.
* Artie sees his pedastel and ''immediately'' says he wants to take a nap instead, then tries to get the others to double back and do Wyn's room first instead.
* Artie and Wyn/Cacophony's doors are left, and they're both ''very'' sexy doors.
* Jylliana suggests Artie use his cannon to shoot the pedastel and skip the test of character.
* Confronted with a crystal staircase, Artie goes down and Rio starts WaxingLyrical.
-->'''Rio:''' Down down, do-be-be-be-do-down.\\
'''Annie:'''...[[Music/FallOutBoy Sugar we're goin' down swingin']]?\\
'''Anne:''' But Artie is ''not'' number one with a bullet because he ''doesn't have a gun''.\\
'''Rio:''' Aw, way to rub it in!
** The players joke about not following Artie down, and instead suggest closing the door to wait. Then Rio counters that Artie would close the door himself. "Um, excuse me, this is private."
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anne has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
** When the door finally opens, it's because the chain holding it shut snapped in two - and Jyll senses divine magic on it.
-->'''Artie:''' Sweet, God is on my side! That usually doesn't happen.
* Artie sees his pedastel and ''immediately'' says he wants to take a nap instead, then tries to get the others to double back and do Wyn's room first instead.
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* Aelfgifu reaches for Artie's hand after the test, but Anna says the height difference means she actually grabs his face. Rio protests that Artie's not ''that'' ludicrously short.
[[AC: Episode 102 - You Can't Be Nothing]]
* Now knowing what to expect behind everyone's door, Jylliana starts getting anxiety about having to confront her anxiety.
* As opposed to other hallways that are [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial definitely not trapped]], the party find themselves staring down a hallway filled with knives, saws, swinging blades, a hole that's just launching glass bottles - Anna describes it not as a trap hallway but a ''meatgrinder''.
-->'''Rio:''' Why is the floor covered in Legos?
* Cacophony would be able to move through the first half of the hall with effortless grace, but because she's Wyn right now it looks more like an awkward high school dance through all the obstacles.
** Anna describes some close calls - a dart thrower nearly gives her a free nose-piercing, and a spear nearly gives her a free stomach piercing.
** Aelfgifu's assesment of this test: Jyll should solve her problems with dance. Jyll stresses that the best she can do is a basic waltz. And Artie...
-->'''Artie:''' Maybe it's...watchamacallit...\\
''*beat as everyone stares at him*''
'''Artie:'''...I lost it.
* Wyn slips and falls into the blades - and they pass right through her. She tests this a few times before confirming none of the blades are real. Jyll also does this as the metaphor clicks, and just screams into her hands.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I think I understand this one better than mine.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*muffled*'' Ugh, the therapy books I borrowed at the library were right!\\
''*Artie cartwheels through the illusions*''
** During the pump-up speech for Jyll against the next set of illusions, Wyn pauses to state that after two "you can be both" morals she's pretty concerned for what's behind her door.
** What starts getting Jyll out of the funk is the party telling her that her relationship with Lachlan is a lot closer to the simpler version and he likes her because of that - and they should know, they spied on her a ''lot''.
** During a group hug, Breadstix gives Jyll a love nip and laps up the blood, and everyone decides to not worry about that right now.
-->'''Annie:''' He's a creature of the Feywild. What's he need the blood for? Don't worry about it!
[[AC: Episode 102 - You Can't Be Nothing]]
* Now knowing what to expect behind everyone's door, Jylliana starts getting anxiety about having to confront her anxiety.
* As opposed to other hallways that are [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial definitely not trapped]], the party find themselves staring down a hallway filled with knives, saws, swinging blades, a hole that's just launching glass bottles - Anna describes it not as a trap hallway but a ''meatgrinder''.
-->'''Rio:''' Why is the floor covered in Legos?
* Cacophony would be able to move through the first half of the hall with effortless grace, but because she's Wyn right now it looks more like an awkward high school dance through all the obstacles.
** Anna describes some close calls - a dart thrower nearly gives her a free nose-piercing, and a spear nearly gives her a free stomach piercing.
** Aelfgifu's assesment of this test: Jyll should solve her problems with dance. Jyll stresses that the best she can do is a basic waltz. And Artie...
-->'''Artie:''' Maybe it's...watchamacallit...\\
''*beat as everyone stares at him*''
'''Artie:'''...I lost it.
* Wyn slips and falls into the blades - and they pass right through her. She tests this a few times before confirming none of the blades are real. Jyll also does this as the metaphor clicks, and just screams into her hands.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I think I understand this one better than mine.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*muffled*'' Ugh, the therapy books I borrowed at the library were right!\\
''*Artie cartwheels through the illusions*''
** During the pump-up speech for Jyll against the next set of illusions, Wyn pauses to state that after two "you can be both" morals she's pretty concerned for what's behind her door.
** What starts getting Jyll out of the funk is the party telling her that her relationship with Lachlan is a lot closer to the simpler version and he likes her because of that - and they should know, they spied on her a ''lot''.
** During a group hug, Breadstix gives Jyll a love nip and laps up the blood, and everyone decides to not worry about that right now.
-->'''Annie:''' He's a creature of the Feywild. What's he need the blood for? Don't worry about it!
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* The party very quickly determine that the room full of loads of treasure mixed with loads of junk is a SecretTestOfCharacter, but aren't quite sure how to proceed. Eventually they land on tossing some treasure and some junk into a pit in the centre of the room to see what happens.
to:
* The party very quickly determine that the enters a room full of loads with a statue bearing the sign "show me nothing but wealth", and a variety of treasure and junk mixed with loads of junk is together. They determine pretty quickly it's a SecretTestOfCharacter, but aren't quite sure how to proceed. Eventually they land on tossing some treasure and some junk into a pit in the centre of the room to see what happens.
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[[AC: Episode 101: The Revenge of the Nasty Pit]]
* While Jyll and Wyn try to figure out what to do, the crystal elementals wait around patiently. TalkingIsAFreeAction, after all.
* Anna compares the crystal elementals exploding into shrapnel to Sonic losing his rings when he's hit. Then everyone realizes the enemies are all blue and spikey, so in a sense they're just fighting a bunch of Sonic [=OCs=].
** Anna later describes them in a way that Annie thinks they're arachnids. Anna counters that they can't be arachnids, they don't have exoskeletons - or any skeletons for that matter.
* Artie has a glaive with the "reach" property. Artie doesn't know what that means in-universe, so he still goes in for close-range hits.
-->'''Anna:''' If you had used the reach capacity of your weapon to stretch out and hit it you wouldn't have had to make the save.\\
'''Rio:''' Yeah I know.\\
'''Annie:'''...okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I, Rio, the player knows. Artie, the character, is a big dumb boi!
* The shattered elementals do look valuable in their inert crystal form.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Aelfgifu, what's your personal perspective on crystal spider chunks? On a scale from 1 to wealth?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' They look good, I want them, they look shiny, but I don't know if that means I get to keep them or if I gotta chuck them in the hole.
** They decide to search the room further in case there are items of a more personal value to Aelfgifu, like whittled deer or a "World's Best Grayson" mug. Instead they find a very old skeleton. Which has actually been there the whole time (including on the [=roll20=] map they were using), they were all just too distracted to notice.
** Wyn wonders if the skeleton is there for metaphorical reasons.
-->'''Wyn:''' What is wealth but life, maybe?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't even -\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't know!\\
'''Wyn:''' Because...Grayson told you to be happy.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah but does that mean we chuck a corpse in a pit?
** When Jyll snarks that "the real treasure is the friends we made along the way", Artie gets concerned that Aelfgifu will throw the party in the pit.
* Annie groans when she realizes that the actual solution to the puzzle is covering up every word on the sign except for "wealth", realizing it was a SpeakFriendAndEnter puzzle.
* While Jyll and Wyn try to figure out what to do, the crystal elementals wait around patiently. TalkingIsAFreeAction, after all.
* Anna compares the crystal elementals exploding into shrapnel to Sonic losing his rings when he's hit. Then everyone realizes the enemies are all blue and spikey, so in a sense they're just fighting a bunch of Sonic [=OCs=].
** Anna later describes them in a way that Annie thinks they're arachnids. Anna counters that they can't be arachnids, they don't have exoskeletons - or any skeletons for that matter.
* Artie has a glaive with the "reach" property. Artie doesn't know what that means in-universe, so he still goes in for close-range hits.
-->'''Anna:''' If you had used the reach capacity of your weapon to stretch out and hit it you wouldn't have had to make the save.\\
'''Rio:''' Yeah I know.\\
'''Annie:'''...okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I, Rio, the player knows. Artie, the character, is a big dumb boi!
* The shattered elementals do look valuable in their inert crystal form.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Aelfgifu, what's your personal perspective on crystal spider chunks? On a scale from 1 to wealth?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' They look good, I want them, they look shiny, but I don't know if that means I get to keep them or if I gotta chuck them in the hole.
** They decide to search the room further in case there are items of a more personal value to Aelfgifu, like whittled deer or a "World's Best Grayson" mug. Instead they find a very old skeleton. Which has actually been there the whole time (including on the [=roll20=] map they were using), they were all just too distracted to notice.
** Wyn wonders if the skeleton is there for metaphorical reasons.
-->'''Wyn:''' What is wealth but life, maybe?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't even -\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't know!\\
'''Wyn:''' Because...Grayson told you to be happy.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah but does that mean we chuck a corpse in a pit?
** When Jyll snarks that "the real treasure is the friends we made along the way", Artie gets concerned that Aelfgifu will throw the party in the pit.
* Annie groans when she realizes that the actual solution to the puzzle is covering up every word on the sign except for "wealth", realizing it was a SpeakFriendAndEnter puzzle.
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Changed line(s) 2890 (click to see context) from:
to:
* The party very quickly determine that the room full of loads of treasure mixed with loads of junk is a SecretTestOfCharacter, but aren't quite sure how to proceed. Eventually they land on tossing some treasure and some junk into a pit in the centre of the room to see what happens.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I do like throwing things.\\
'''Jyll:'''You do like throwings things.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''And I like tossing things in pits. Maybe this is why it's my room.\\
'''Jyll:'''Just like the Nasty Pit.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''I used to throw all ''kinds'' of things into the Nasty Pit!
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I do like throwing things.\\
'''Jyll:'''You do like throwings things.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''And I like tossing things in pits. Maybe this is why it's my room.\\
'''Jyll:'''Just like the Nasty Pit.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''I used to throw all ''kinds'' of things into the Nasty Pit!
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* Jylliana thinks the situation is a dream, mumbling that it must be the last day of class before final. Artie doesn't know what a "class" is, and also says if it was a dream he'd be fully naked.
* Jyll and Aelfgifu are unsure how to feel about getting spirited away, since last time that happened...mixed feelings.
-->'''Jyll:''' I swear to Ethla if there's another Death's Head at the end who has riddles for us...
** Determining that the goal in this space is to rescue a princess and kiss her, Wyn says that unless the princess is a dragon she's only moderately interested. Jyll and Aelfgifu demand the chance to kiss her since they've never been able to. Artie thinks he should do it, since he's done it before and the other two might "mess it up". Ultimately Jyll suggests the three form a queue once they find her.
* Aelfgifu suggests moving through the doors anti-clockwise "just to be perverse".
-->'''Rio:''' I always want to go to the left.\\
'''Annie:''' Oh, because you have a ''Film/{{Zoolander}}'' problem?\\
'''Rio:''' No I was just thinking..."[[Music/{{Beyonce}} to the left, to the left]]"...
* Jyll and Aelfgifu are unsure how to feel about getting spirited away, since last time that happened...mixed feelings.
-->'''Jyll:''' I swear to Ethla if there's another Death's Head at the end who has riddles for us...
** Determining that the goal in this space is to rescue a princess and kiss her, Wyn says that unless the princess is a dragon she's only moderately interested. Jyll and Aelfgifu demand the chance to kiss her since they've never been able to. Artie thinks he should do it, since he's done it before and the other two might "mess it up". Ultimately Jyll suggests the three form a queue once they find her.
* Aelfgifu suggests moving through the doors anti-clockwise "just to be perverse".
-->'''Rio:''' I always want to go to the left.\\
'''Annie:''' Oh, because you have a ''Film/{{Zoolander}}'' problem?\\
'''Rio:''' No I was just thinking..."[[Music/{{Beyonce}} to the left, to the left]]"...
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[[AC: Episode 100: The Jemjammer 100th Episode Crystal Millennium Spectacular]]
* Anna states that even though this is a side episode, it's "technically canon and does take place at the same time, but in a sort of side-y way".
-->'''Annie:''' I feel like some ''Ring'' shenanigans are gonna be at foot here.\\
'''Alexi:''' It was all a dream.\\
'''Maq:''' [[WaxingLyrical But in dreams, the evening staaAAAR!]]\\
'''Anna:''' Something like that.
* Anna states that even though this is a side episode, it's "technically canon and does take place at the same time, but in a sort of side-y way".
-->'''Annie:''' I feel like some ''Ring'' shenanigans are gonna be at foot here.\\
'''Alexi:''' It was all a dream.\\
'''Maq:''' [[WaxingLyrical But in dreams, the evening staaAAAR!]]\\
'''Anna:''' Something like that.
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** In reality, there's an option on the podcast's patreon to commission Maq for really bad smut, and Annie did so in order to get terrible smut written about knock-off Jyll, Lachlan, and Max.
to:
** In reality, there's an option on the podcast's patreon to Maq lets people commission Maq for her through Kofi to write really bad smut, and Annie did so in order to get terrible smut written about knock-off Jyll, Lachlan, and Max.
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* Grack: "Thank you for listening to this message. I hope you found it as great as I did. [[ThisMessageWillSelfDestruct This box will now explode.]]"
to:
* Grack: "Thank you for listening to this message. I hope you found it as great as I did. [[ThisMessageWillSelfDestruct [[ThisPageWillSelfDestruct This box will now explode.]]"
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** Alexi wants to make a comment about a {{cephalophore}}, but knows Aelfgifu wouldn't know that word.
to:
** Alexi wants to make a comment about a {{cephalophore}}, cephalophore, but knows Aelfgifu wouldn't know that word.
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'''Aelfgifu:''' You started it! Where are you going with it? We can't answer that for you!\\
to:
'''Aelfgifu:''' You started it! Where are you ''you'' going with it? We can't answer that for you!\\
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* As they approach the planet, they have a quick offscreen book club. When they return:
to:
* As they approach the planet, they have a quick offscreen book club.club (see Episode 5 of it below). When they return:
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[[AC: Episode 1 - Fruit and Veg]]
* The set up:
-->'''Annie:''' Please bare with us as we figure out how to read pornography for you as our Dungeons and Dragons characters.
** Rio made a huge tactical error as a smut peddler themselves, as Arturos does not read.
* One of the main characters in the book, ''How to Howl at the Moon'' by Eli Easton, is named Tim. Everyone feels that's too much of a normal name for a werewolf.
-->'''Annie:''' [[Film/MuppetTreasureIsland I'm not Tim Tim Timmy Tim Timmy Tim Tim, he's Tim Tim Timmy Tim Timmy Tim Tim!]]
* A realization:
-->'''Kit:''' It just occurred to me that we're making Jake listen to this.\\
'''Everyone:''' Hi Jake!\\
'''Kit:''' Jake if you want a raise, let me know.\\
'''Rio:''' This is a raise in itself, isn't it?\\
'''Annie:''' Boo!\\
'''Rio:''' I didn't mean it that way!
* When the book specifies that Lance is using both hands to hold onto Tim:
-->'''Jyll:''' What was he gonna do with one hand if he wasn't gonna use both hands?\\
'''Wyn:''' Hold it in the air and ride him like a cowboy!
* Aelfgifu suggests "fruit and veg" as a replacement for "cock and testicles". Veli has mixed feelings about this.
* Artie says it's a common experience to walk in on one's parents banging. Aelfgifu gets sad because she's an orphan.
-->'''Artie:''' Well, consider yourself lucky!\\
'''Kit:''' "Sorry your parents are probabky dead, but at least you didn't walk in on them banging."\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' What I would give to have been able to walk in on my parents banging. Oh! What a tragic life!
** Jylliana realizes she caught her parents "wrestling" nine months before her younger siblings were born.
* Jyll trying to make sense of (re: improvise) the character arcs of the rest of the book and wonders if Lance has a den atop the mountain.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' They were going on that adventure.\\
'''Jyll:''' No you're right, they had to go replace the..staff...in the tomb of...\\
'''Artie:''' Anus?\\
'''Jyll:''' The Tomb of Anus. Oh, that makes sense in hindsight!
* Artie says the book reminds him of all the werewolves he's fucked atop mountains. Rio rolls a die when asked how many that was.
* Wyn asks if one of Artie's trysts was actually [[Literature/{{Twilight}} a werewolf just warming him up while a vampire looked at him angrily]]. Artie counters that the vampire was involved and had suggested it to begin with.
* In the stinger, the location Kit was about to suggest for the quest's destination was "the Dick Sucking Factory".
[[AC: Episode 2 - I Have Amnesia]]
* The book, read conveniently on the way to Jyll's orc date, is the cleric/orc romance ''Tusks of a Scoundrel Book 3: The Lost Scoundrel''.
** The characters Jax and Lana are thinly-veiled parodies of Lachlan and Jyll.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, this is uncanny!
* Aelfgifu also doesn't relate to the amnesia plot.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Memory loss is not as sexy as they're making it out to be. It's very confusing! You don't know what happened, people remember you and you don't remember them and you try and play it off and then one day it turns out you can't play it off and you have to explain you were lying - it's not sexy!
** Cacophony tells her that if anyone ever says they told you they love her and she forgot she can just call for her or Jyll and they'll make them stop.
* When the others say the couple is moving to fast and not properly lubed, Cacophony says they should assume Lana is filled with mysterious oil. Then Kit points out the Alchemy Jug, which can make any amount of any fluid.
* Jyll hopes the next book club won't be the next book in the series. Veli says the next book is actually the werewolf book, making Jyll cry out in frustration.
[[AC: Episode 3 - F#$% A Wizard]]
* Aelfgifu says that Breadsticks can understand book club and will have opinions on sex.
* The book, ''The Lightning-Struck Heart'' by Creator/TJKlune, is said to include Gary the Fabulous, Hornless Gay Unicorn, who doesn't appear in this excerpt but needed to be mentioned.
* Annie gets squicked out by the Grease spell from previous editions of D&D. Specifically that it was called "grease".
* Wyn's gruff guy voice puts the others in stitches.
* Return of the Mysterious Vial of Oil. And some odd grammar implies that time itself is getting lubed up and slowing down.
-->'''Annie:''' Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.
* Ryan's anus is described as "a vortex sucking me in", which makes everyone concerned since a vortex implies the dick isn't coming back out.
* Wyn misspeaks and says "leg" instead of "length", causing a momentary panic.
* Aelfgifu asks Veli how sex works for plants. Veli points out that's a very personal question, but Wyn says she's just thinking about her first kiss. Jyll tries to stop this train of thought while Aelfgifu rambles on, eventually saying that as far as she knows she could've been having sex with the corpse flower.
-->'''Jyll:''' Can book club be over now?!
[[AC: Episode 4 - Special Delivery]]
* Kit: "Welcome, everyone, to a very special book club."
** Maq is absent, so the smutty book (''Tell Me It's Real'' by TJ Klune) will be read by a guest. Things start in-universe when they open a box that was delivered to them and getting ambushed with a recording in a Sending Stone from Grack.
-->'''Jyll:''' Can we close the book?\\
'''Grack:''' [[TheTapeKnewYoudSayThat You can't close this box anymore!]]
* Grack's narration continues even as Jylliana calls Veli for help and Aelfgifu tells Breadsticks to cover their ears.
** Jyll slams the lid down so they can discuss how one would get their partner's jeans off by kicking them. Rio plays along by muffling their voice but continuing to talk.
** Jyll pulls the lid off in time for the words "Pressing his cock to my balls", making Alexi shriek and apologize to Jake for peaking their mic.
* "Isn't 'I'm going' the opposite of 'I'm coming'?"
* Grack: "Thank you for listening to this message. I hope you found it as great as I did. [[ThisMessageWillSelfDestruct This box will now explode.]]"
- Grak makes an explosion noise with his mouth, and then it actually explodes.
[[AC: Episode 5 - Body Mate, for the Discerning Gentleman]]
* It's a sequel to the first book (''How to Walk Like a Man'' by Eli Easton"), and they have important new information: Tim was not a wolf, he was a Border Collie shifter.
-->'''Annie:''' So that's a new facet of this world state!
* Jyll had to explain to those absent last time that when they got "drive-by sex-bombed by a penguin", that's literally what happened.
** Wyn is so disappointed in missing the events of the previous book club that she slips into Russian. This causes Rio to have a giggle fit, and Kit asks if they need to go to the Giggle-Pen.
* Kit tries to get out of things by saying Veli is busy repairing the ship, but Jyll demands they move book club to the cargo hold so they can be included no matter what.
** Also, Aelfgifu asks if Veli is strong.
-->'''Kit:''' Veli has, dare I say, a willowy build.
* The book describes lube as "stuff from a tube". Also:
-->'''Cacophony:''' "Roman sat up and fumbled with the condom, having a hard time opening the package."\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, he's already got the package. He's just having a hard time with the condom.\\
'''Cacophony:''' I appreciate that, Jyll.\\
'''Jyll:''' Look, I have to do something here.
** The condom is described as a "rubbery disc", and they joke about whether you could play frisbee with it.
** While discussing what condoms are made of, Veli says there's a Sphere where they use a species of slime that's still alive, so technically safe sex there is kind of a threesome.
-->'''Veli:''' It's kind of a "country girls make do" situation.
* There's some confusion about anatomy, and they turn to Artie for clarification.
-->'''Artie:''' It's face down, ass up...\\
'''Veli:''' Finish it!\\
'''Artie:''' That's the way the wolf fucks.
* Everyone is thrown by the description of semen smelling like ''tangerines''. Even Artie is confused, though he ''has'' fucked in a tangerine field.
[[AC: Episode 6(9) - Too Much Sauce on the Consonants]]
* The purpose of this episode is to up the horny content since the official episode 69 wasn't horny enough.
* Rio gets called out for doing ASMR into the mic, which editor Jake hates.
-->'''Annie:''' Listen! I've always said, you can't spell ASMR without Aasimar. *beat* Wait. Strike that, reverse it, don't worry about it.\\
'''Kit:''' That's -\\
'''Annie:''' Look, words go in order in some way, and I have a degree that says that.\\
'''Kit:''' Yes. Annie has a degree in the words be good.\\
'''Annie:''' In make word good go!
* Alexi drops all her snacks and plays it off as Aelfgifu being excited.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Did you say ''three books?!''
* ''Kill Game: Seven of Spades'' by Cordelia Kingsbridge is a book that Kit's actually read!
** Kit then realizes at some point one of their own books might get submitted. Rio offers to make that happen and Kit quickly shuts it down.
* Cacophony accidentally says "Fucking Magnifikent", and she and Jyll say it sounds like the name of a powerful gay wizard.
* Jyll gets caught up in an "electric shock" metaphor, and Veli suggests Jyll could make use of that in a more literal sense. As long as her partner doesn't have metal piercings.
** When they bring it up again after the excerpt, Jyll's babbling goes so high-pitched that she passes into a range humanoid ears can't hear.
* Cacophony wants Jyll to read the next one (''Taken by the Orc Warrior'' by Tanya Anders), and Artie pressures her into it by saying if she doesn't he'll keep talking about her electrical stingies.
-->'''Jyll:''' You people keep quiet about this, okay?\\
'''Everyone else:'' "No" "Nah" "That's not gonna happen."
* The book club isn't familiar with "Satan", but assume he's related to Space Paladin Christ.
* Aelfgifu and Veli are a little uncomfy on how much sauce Jylliana puts on the consonants in "'''P'''in'''k''' Soa'''k'''ed Sli'''t'''".
* Veli's pleased to hear the book explicitly state that the woman's vagina produces natural lubricant. Cacophony misses the mysterious vial of oil. Jyll stresses that the man's dick is the size of a human arm.
-->'''Artie:''' You could take it.\\
'''Cacophony:''' Size queen.
'''Veli:''' You've had practice.\\
* Jyll is very doubtful that the main character is a nun and having vaginal sex for the ''first time ever'' with such gusto. Veli wonders if she could even say the word "fuck" without being struck by lightning - then asks if Jyll can do the same thing.
-->'''Cacophony:''' She'd probably embrace it.\\
'''Jyll:''' You've heard me say "fuck" all the time.\\
'''Artie:''' That's true. Can you even do the fuck without getting struck by lightning?
* One passage has the main character telling her partner to "unleash the beast".
-->'''Kit:''' ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars''!\\
'''Annie:'' Now say it in Canadian.\\
'''Kit:''' ''Beasties''!
* Jyll claims she's never read the book before, but Cacophony is pretty sure she saw it in her room the other night.
-->'''Jyll:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial That was a...bible! Don't ever speak to me or my room again!]]
* "My pussy, my clit, my nipple, my mouth - they were all being stimulated at the same time."
-->'''Artie:''' How? That's a lot of coordination.\\
'''Jyll:''' "A flood of bliss radiated out from my pussy across my entire body."\\
'''Artie:''' Radiant damage?\\
'''Veli:''' Is that like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time?\\
'''Jyll:''' Probably, right?\\
'''Artie:''' I can do that! I'm doing it right now!
* Jyll's continued insistence that she's never read the book before gets to the point that she throws the book into the hallway and claims she hasn't been present for the past five minutes.
* The last book has hardly any interruptions because it's actually a really good sex scene (from ''Literature/{{Fingersmith}}'' by Creator/SarahWaters), and the reading ends with Artie saying IllbeInMyBunk while Jyll and Aelfgifu scramble to grab Cacophony's copy as she sets it down.
* In the stinger, Rio bemoans the fact that Artie won't read, and Kit replies that Rio will have to pursue a plot where he learns the joys of reading.
[[AC: Episode 7 - The "Knife to the Throat" of Sex]]
* ''Cursed: Broken'' by X. Aratare.
-->'''Kit:''' "Colon broken"? Oh god!
* Artie whines that it's cold, but Veli says that all space is room temperature. Before a debate on this can arise, Cacophony tells everyone to focus because it's time to talk about penises.
* A debate on whether a dick can be accurately compared to a straw leads to Jyll craving a milkshake.
* The narration switches from third to first person, but that makes the thought of the character sound like he took the dick out of his mouth, turn to the audience, and say "what do you think folks? Should I give it to him?"
* The tendency of the term "young man" in the narration prompts Veli to wax "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said young man, don't have sex on the ground".
* Trying to figure out what the X in the author's name stands for leads to Jyll wondering what XXX stands for.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' What does a [[4X four X]] look like?\\
'''Jyll:''' A Euro-game typically.
* In the Stinger Annie apologizes for any kinks that might crop up in the audio, so obviously Rio replies that they're always happy to work out kinks.
[[AC: Episode 8 - I Like the Lovey Ones]]
* The smut takes place in Borovia, and Annie is immediately distracted trying to work out how it fits into TabletopGame/{{Ravenloft}} canon.
* Jyll says that the real pornographic part of the story is a ship big enough for everyone to have their own room.
* "As they get to the bed he stops to help her out of her chainmail."
-->'''Veli:''' Ten minutes later.
** Aelfgifu is turned on when the woman says her new mythril mail helps her hunt better.
* The club is torn on the "coming home" metaphor for the man's dick entering the woman's vagina. Alexi says "home is where the dick goes", and Annie wants that on a shirt. Rio offers, though they can't embroid.
[[AC: Episode 9 - I Think That's Blood]]
* This week's book (''How to Wish Upon a Star'' by Eli Easton) fell on Cacophony's face when Aelfgifu blipped while reading it in the bunk above hers. It's another shifter book set in the same setting as the previous ones! Everyone is still really shaken up by the fact that the first book was about a Broder Collie shifter, not a wolf.
-->'''Veli:''' Like trying to lick peanut butter out of a toy.\\
'''Jyll:''' [[{{Angrish}} Argh!]]
** This one is about two dog shifters.
-->'''Cacophony:''' One is Milo, who turns into a labra-doodle, and the other is Jason and he turns into a malamute.\\
'''Jyll:'' Wha - huh - hmm - uh - oh -mmm - big. Big. Big dog. Big dog. Hmm.
* They wonder if shifters can't turn into a breed of dog until the American Kennel Club recognizes it, or if shifters need to develop new breeds to be recognized by the AKC.
-->'''Annie:''' Alright, you are now allowed to turn into a Staffordshire Pitbull Terrier!
* The purple prose describes Milo gaining another dimension, which the club figures is either the dog dimension or time, and he potentially exists simultaneously at all points in time.
* Kit confirms that the Alchemy Jug can create acid, basic poison, beer, honey, mayonnaise, oil , vinegar, freshwater, saltwater, wine, and now vaseline.
* "His shaft was searing against Jason's lips."
-->'''Jyll:''' Ow.\\
'''Veli:''' Ouchies, bro.\\
'''Jyll:''' Big ouchies bro.
* The submission came with a summary of the greater premise of the book, and the club loses their minds over the fact that in this world the shifters ''start'' as dogs and gain the ability to become humans, and there's also a virus going around trapping them in dog form.
** This leads to the reveal that Lance from the first book adopted a daughter but also got the virus, and is now stuck as a Border Collie, and then a discussion on how the potential Hallmark movie ''My Dad the Border Collie'' would play out.
** Artie and Cacophony say the book was probably written by a fae...or a mangaka. After trying to keep the kayfabe around when explaining the latter to Jyll, Kit has to put their foot down and state that anime is not real in this setting. Annie insists that it is, and all the legends start with "you know [[Anime/DragonBall Goku]]?"
[[AC: Episode 10 - First in Line for the Throne of Wolfington]]
* The subject of this week's book club appeared from Aelfgifu's bunk, written by some sort of fae named...Maq Weaver.
-->'''Rio:''' Is this self-fanfiction?
** In reality, there's an option on the podcast's patreon to commission Maq for really bad smut, and Annie did so in order to get terrible smut written about knock-off Jyll, Lachlan, and Max.
* Aelfgifu starts the film standing near the exit because she's a little conerned.
* "His Imperial Tyrannical Alpha-Majesty, first in line for the Throne of Wolfington, Jaxon Aurelius Forsythia Megawolf Moon, or more colloquially known to his friends as Jax."
** A metaphor about the beast within and without makes Rio think the story is selfcest.
** Jyll then asks Rio if this is about what he was telling her before about how there were two wolves inside of him and they were both named Toby.
* Then Cacophony reads the next lines in a thick Slavic accent, in which his step-mother tells Jax he will not be crowned monarch until he covers both spouses in his scent. "We will know, Jaxon. We are wolves, after all, and wolves have very good noses."
** Said spouses are named "Gylliana" and "Jachlan".
* Naturally, as soon as Jylliana catches the similarities to her own life, she begins to shrink into the corner. Veli and Artie are captivated.
* Thanks to a throwaway line on the parchment, the club discover they know about the World Eater cult in the feywild. And admit it's weird that this is how they learned about it.
* Jyll wants to burn the story, but Cacophony already made copies of it. Aelfgifu wants to drop it off at a library.
** She also asks if Aelfgifu is having her own smutty book club in the feywild, and then the fey write stories inspired by it and send it back with her.
* The episode ends with Artie finally figuring out that Jachlan is inspired by Lachlan.
[[AC: Episode 11 - Non-Euclidian Sex]]
* ''The Dickens with Love'' by John Lanyon
-->'''Artie:'' Yeah I've had several dickins with love.
** The book was recommended as good for Christmas, but the club isn't familiar with that (assuming it's related to Space Paladin Christ). Artie says he celebrates "Joemas", but doesn't elaborate.
** Aelfgifu says she didn't hear about any of these holidays until she started travelling with the party, and Jyll wonders if Grayson was just against holidays.
** Artie says people who don't believe in holidays are "Joe-hovahs".
-->'''Annie:''' Aesheim has Jehovah's Witnesses now. Printing Press? No. Hot yoga and Jehovah's Witnesses? Absolutely. I love our planet. The DM is not here folks, all of this is now canonical.
* Due to their unfamiliarity with Christmas and sexual nature of all their books, the club assume a comment about an angel tree-topper is literally about an angel topping a tree.
* Aelfgifu says the name "Sedgewick" makes her think of a candle in a bush.
* Some choice grammar makes the club wonder if one of the participants in a 69 is a Cephalothorax or have their head detached.
** Alexi wants to make a comment about a {{cephalophore}}, but knows Aelfgifu wouldn't know that word.
** Truly, the amount of grammar strangeness and metaphors present in the sex scene causes a lot of logistical confusion for the club.
* Jyll comments that she's getting personally offended by how often angels are used as metaphors. Artie asks if that's how she got her wings - she got dicked down real good.
[[AC: Episode 12 - I Was Promised a Dragon]]
* Another story from "the fey Maq Weaver" has appeared.
-->'''Annie:''' I would love to learn useful things about my patron other than their sexual preferences.
* The protagonist's name, Sylvanzalea Everglimmer, is criticized as being almost too stereotypical of an elf name.
* "Sylvanzalea, you may fuck the dragon to your heart's content."
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I haven't picked a god but if they talked in my head and said "Aelfgifu, you go fuck that dragon", I'd convert for that.
* The whiplash of the club getting excited about the dragon lover having two dicks, to concern that they have spikes on them.
** On the subject of multiple dicks, Artie says some merfolk who are descended from sharks have two dicks as well. Jyll points out that Artie has shark teeth, which (unintentionally) prompts him to undo his pants and feel around to double check. Just the one.
* Jyll is concerned Lachlan might be flying the ship and therefore be able to overhear everything in book club. Artie asks if she's worried he'll hear about her discussing his wolf dick and what she wants to do with it.
-->'''Artie:''' Relationships are all about conversation and open communication.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' With all of your friends.\\
'''Artie:''' With all of your friends...and your acquaintances...and that guy who kind of hangs out in that corner that you think is cute.\\
'''Cacophony:''' What?\\
'''Jyll:''' Who?\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, I'm thinking about my own experiences.
* The set up:
-->'''Annie:''' Please bare with us as we figure out how to read pornography for you as our Dungeons and Dragons characters.
** Rio made a huge tactical error as a smut peddler themselves, as Arturos does not read.
* One of the main characters in the book, ''How to Howl at the Moon'' by Eli Easton, is named Tim. Everyone feels that's too much of a normal name for a werewolf.
-->'''Annie:''' [[Film/MuppetTreasureIsland I'm not Tim Tim Timmy Tim Timmy Tim Tim, he's Tim Tim Timmy Tim Timmy Tim Tim!]]
* A realization:
-->'''Kit:''' It just occurred to me that we're making Jake listen to this.\\
'''Everyone:''' Hi Jake!\\
'''Kit:''' Jake if you want a raise, let me know.\\
'''Rio:''' This is a raise in itself, isn't it?\\
'''Annie:''' Boo!\\
'''Rio:''' I didn't mean it that way!
* When the book specifies that Lance is using both hands to hold onto Tim:
-->'''Jyll:''' What was he gonna do with one hand if he wasn't gonna use both hands?\\
'''Wyn:''' Hold it in the air and ride him like a cowboy!
* Aelfgifu suggests "fruit and veg" as a replacement for "cock and testicles". Veli has mixed feelings about this.
* Artie says it's a common experience to walk in on one's parents banging. Aelfgifu gets sad because she's an orphan.
-->'''Artie:''' Well, consider yourself lucky!\\
'''Kit:''' "Sorry your parents are probabky dead, but at least you didn't walk in on them banging."\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' What I would give to have been able to walk in on my parents banging. Oh! What a tragic life!
** Jylliana realizes she caught her parents "wrestling" nine months before her younger siblings were born.
* Jyll trying to make sense of (re: improvise) the character arcs of the rest of the book and wonders if Lance has a den atop the mountain.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' They were going on that adventure.\\
'''Jyll:''' No you're right, they had to go replace the..staff...in the tomb of...\\
'''Artie:''' Anus?\\
'''Jyll:''' The Tomb of Anus. Oh, that makes sense in hindsight!
* Artie says the book reminds him of all the werewolves he's fucked atop mountains. Rio rolls a die when asked how many that was.
* Wyn asks if one of Artie's trysts was actually [[Literature/{{Twilight}} a werewolf just warming him up while a vampire looked at him angrily]]. Artie counters that the vampire was involved and had suggested it to begin with.
* In the stinger, the location Kit was about to suggest for the quest's destination was "the Dick Sucking Factory".
[[AC: Episode 2 - I Have Amnesia]]
* The book, read conveniently on the way to Jyll's orc date, is the cleric/orc romance ''Tusks of a Scoundrel Book 3: The Lost Scoundrel''.
** The characters Jax and Lana are thinly-veiled parodies of Lachlan and Jyll.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, this is uncanny!
* Aelfgifu also doesn't relate to the amnesia plot.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Memory loss is not as sexy as they're making it out to be. It's very confusing! You don't know what happened, people remember you and you don't remember them and you try and play it off and then one day it turns out you can't play it off and you have to explain you were lying - it's not sexy!
** Cacophony tells her that if anyone ever says they told you they love her and she forgot she can just call for her or Jyll and they'll make them stop.
* When the others say the couple is moving to fast and not properly lubed, Cacophony says they should assume Lana is filled with mysterious oil. Then Kit points out the Alchemy Jug, which can make any amount of any fluid.
* Jyll hopes the next book club won't be the next book in the series. Veli says the next book is actually the werewolf book, making Jyll cry out in frustration.
[[AC: Episode 3 - F#$% A Wizard]]
* Aelfgifu says that Breadsticks can understand book club and will have opinions on sex.
* The book, ''The Lightning-Struck Heart'' by Creator/TJKlune, is said to include Gary the Fabulous, Hornless Gay Unicorn, who doesn't appear in this excerpt but needed to be mentioned.
* Annie gets squicked out by the Grease spell from previous editions of D&D. Specifically that it was called "grease".
* Wyn's gruff guy voice puts the others in stitches.
* Return of the Mysterious Vial of Oil. And some odd grammar implies that time itself is getting lubed up and slowing down.
-->'''Annie:''' Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future.
* Ryan's anus is described as "a vortex sucking me in", which makes everyone concerned since a vortex implies the dick isn't coming back out.
* Wyn misspeaks and says "leg" instead of "length", causing a momentary panic.
* Aelfgifu asks Veli how sex works for plants. Veli points out that's a very personal question, but Wyn says she's just thinking about her first kiss. Jyll tries to stop this train of thought while Aelfgifu rambles on, eventually saying that as far as she knows she could've been having sex with the corpse flower.
-->'''Jyll:''' Can book club be over now?!
[[AC: Episode 4 - Special Delivery]]
* Kit: "Welcome, everyone, to a very special book club."
** Maq is absent, so the smutty book (''Tell Me It's Real'' by TJ Klune) will be read by a guest. Things start in-universe when they open a box that was delivered to them and getting ambushed with a recording in a Sending Stone from Grack.
-->'''Jyll:''' Can we close the book?\\
'''Grack:''' [[TheTapeKnewYoudSayThat You can't close this box anymore!]]
* Grack's narration continues even as Jylliana calls Veli for help and Aelfgifu tells Breadsticks to cover their ears.
** Jyll slams the lid down so they can discuss how one would get their partner's jeans off by kicking them. Rio plays along by muffling their voice but continuing to talk.
** Jyll pulls the lid off in time for the words "Pressing his cock to my balls", making Alexi shriek and apologize to Jake for peaking their mic.
* "Isn't 'I'm going' the opposite of 'I'm coming'?"
* Grack: "Thank you for listening to this message. I hope you found it as great as I did. [[ThisMessageWillSelfDestruct This box will now explode.]]"
- Grak makes an explosion noise with his mouth, and then it actually explodes.
[[AC: Episode 5 - Body Mate, for the Discerning Gentleman]]
* It's a sequel to the first book (''How to Walk Like a Man'' by Eli Easton"), and they have important new information: Tim was not a wolf, he was a Border Collie shifter.
-->'''Annie:''' So that's a new facet of this world state!
* Jyll had to explain to those absent last time that when they got "drive-by sex-bombed by a penguin", that's literally what happened.
** Wyn is so disappointed in missing the events of the previous book club that she slips into Russian. This causes Rio to have a giggle fit, and Kit asks if they need to go to the Giggle-Pen.
* Kit tries to get out of things by saying Veli is busy repairing the ship, but Jyll demands they move book club to the cargo hold so they can be included no matter what.
** Also, Aelfgifu asks if Veli is strong.
-->'''Kit:''' Veli has, dare I say, a willowy build.
* The book describes lube as "stuff from a tube". Also:
-->'''Cacophony:''' "Roman sat up and fumbled with the condom, having a hard time opening the package."\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, he's already got the package. He's just having a hard time with the condom.\\
'''Cacophony:''' I appreciate that, Jyll.\\
'''Jyll:''' Look, I have to do something here.
** The condom is described as a "rubbery disc", and they joke about whether you could play frisbee with it.
** While discussing what condoms are made of, Veli says there's a Sphere where they use a species of slime that's still alive, so technically safe sex there is kind of a threesome.
-->'''Veli:''' It's kind of a "country girls make do" situation.
* There's some confusion about anatomy, and they turn to Artie for clarification.
-->'''Artie:''' It's face down, ass up...\\
'''Veli:''' Finish it!\\
'''Artie:''' That's the way the wolf fucks.
* Everyone is thrown by the description of semen smelling like ''tangerines''. Even Artie is confused, though he ''has'' fucked in a tangerine field.
[[AC: Episode 6(9) - Too Much Sauce on the Consonants]]
* The purpose of this episode is to up the horny content since the official episode 69 wasn't horny enough.
* Rio gets called out for doing ASMR into the mic, which editor Jake hates.
-->'''Annie:''' Listen! I've always said, you can't spell ASMR without Aasimar. *beat* Wait. Strike that, reverse it, don't worry about it.\\
'''Kit:''' That's -\\
'''Annie:''' Look, words go in order in some way, and I have a degree that says that.\\
'''Kit:''' Yes. Annie has a degree in the words be good.\\
'''Annie:''' In make word good go!
* Alexi drops all her snacks and plays it off as Aelfgifu being excited.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Did you say ''three books?!''
* ''Kill Game: Seven of Spades'' by Cordelia Kingsbridge is a book that Kit's actually read!
** Kit then realizes at some point one of their own books might get submitted. Rio offers to make that happen and Kit quickly shuts it down.
* Cacophony accidentally says "Fucking Magnifikent", and she and Jyll say it sounds like the name of a powerful gay wizard.
* Jyll gets caught up in an "electric shock" metaphor, and Veli suggests Jyll could make use of that in a more literal sense. As long as her partner doesn't have metal piercings.
** When they bring it up again after the excerpt, Jyll's babbling goes so high-pitched that she passes into a range humanoid ears can't hear.
* Cacophony wants Jyll to read the next one (''Taken by the Orc Warrior'' by Tanya Anders), and Artie pressures her into it by saying if she doesn't he'll keep talking about her electrical stingies.
-->'''Jyll:''' You people keep quiet about this, okay?\\
'''Everyone else:'' "No" "Nah" "That's not gonna happen."
* The book club isn't familiar with "Satan", but assume he's related to Space Paladin Christ.
* Aelfgifu and Veli are a little uncomfy on how much sauce Jylliana puts on the consonants in "'''P'''in'''k''' Soa'''k'''ed Sli'''t'''".
* Veli's pleased to hear the book explicitly state that the woman's vagina produces natural lubricant. Cacophony misses the mysterious vial of oil. Jyll stresses that the man's dick is the size of a human arm.
-->'''Artie:''' You could take it.\\
'''Cacophony:''' Size queen.
'''Veli:''' You've had practice.\\
* Jyll is very doubtful that the main character is a nun and having vaginal sex for the ''first time ever'' with such gusto. Veli wonders if she could even say the word "fuck" without being struck by lightning - then asks if Jyll can do the same thing.
-->'''Cacophony:''' She'd probably embrace it.\\
'''Jyll:''' You've heard me say "fuck" all the time.\\
'''Artie:''' That's true. Can you even do the fuck without getting struck by lightning?
* One passage has the main character telling her partner to "unleash the beast".
-->'''Kit:''' ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars''!\\
'''Annie:'' Now say it in Canadian.\\
'''Kit:''' ''Beasties''!
* Jyll claims she's never read the book before, but Cacophony is pretty sure she saw it in her room the other night.
-->'''Jyll:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial That was a...bible! Don't ever speak to me or my room again!]]
* "My pussy, my clit, my nipple, my mouth - they were all being stimulated at the same time."
-->'''Artie:''' How? That's a lot of coordination.\\
'''Jyll:''' "A flood of bliss radiated out from my pussy across my entire body."\\
'''Artie:''' Radiant damage?\\
'''Veli:''' Is that like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time?\\
'''Jyll:''' Probably, right?\\
'''Artie:''' I can do that! I'm doing it right now!
* Jyll's continued insistence that she's never read the book before gets to the point that she throws the book into the hallway and claims she hasn't been present for the past five minutes.
* The last book has hardly any interruptions because it's actually a really good sex scene (from ''Literature/{{Fingersmith}}'' by Creator/SarahWaters), and the reading ends with Artie saying IllbeInMyBunk while Jyll and Aelfgifu scramble to grab Cacophony's copy as she sets it down.
* In the stinger, Rio bemoans the fact that Artie won't read, and Kit replies that Rio will have to pursue a plot where he learns the joys of reading.
[[AC: Episode 7 - The "Knife to the Throat" of Sex]]
* ''Cursed: Broken'' by X. Aratare.
-->'''Kit:''' "Colon broken"? Oh god!
* Artie whines that it's cold, but Veli says that all space is room temperature. Before a debate on this can arise, Cacophony tells everyone to focus because it's time to talk about penises.
* A debate on whether a dick can be accurately compared to a straw leads to Jyll craving a milkshake.
* The narration switches from third to first person, but that makes the thought of the character sound like he took the dick out of his mouth, turn to the audience, and say "what do you think folks? Should I give it to him?"
* The tendency of the term "young man" in the narration prompts Veli to wax "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said young man, don't have sex on the ground".
* Trying to figure out what the X in the author's name stands for leads to Jyll wondering what XXX stands for.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' What does a [[4X four X]] look like?\\
'''Jyll:''' A Euro-game typically.
* In the Stinger Annie apologizes for any kinks that might crop up in the audio, so obviously Rio replies that they're always happy to work out kinks.
[[AC: Episode 8 - I Like the Lovey Ones]]
* The smut takes place in Borovia, and Annie is immediately distracted trying to work out how it fits into TabletopGame/{{Ravenloft}} canon.
* Jyll says that the real pornographic part of the story is a ship big enough for everyone to have their own room.
* "As they get to the bed he stops to help her out of her chainmail."
-->'''Veli:''' Ten minutes later.
** Aelfgifu is turned on when the woman says her new mythril mail helps her hunt better.
* The club is torn on the "coming home" metaphor for the man's dick entering the woman's vagina. Alexi says "home is where the dick goes", and Annie wants that on a shirt. Rio offers, though they can't embroid.
[[AC: Episode 9 - I Think That's Blood]]
* This week's book (''How to Wish Upon a Star'' by Eli Easton) fell on Cacophony's face when Aelfgifu blipped while reading it in the bunk above hers. It's another shifter book set in the same setting as the previous ones! Everyone is still really shaken up by the fact that the first book was about a Broder Collie shifter, not a wolf.
-->'''Veli:''' Like trying to lick peanut butter out of a toy.\\
'''Jyll:''' [[{{Angrish}} Argh!]]
** This one is about two dog shifters.
-->'''Cacophony:''' One is Milo, who turns into a labra-doodle, and the other is Jason and he turns into a malamute.\\
'''Jyll:'' Wha - huh - hmm - uh - oh -mmm - big. Big. Big dog. Big dog. Hmm.
* They wonder if shifters can't turn into a breed of dog until the American Kennel Club recognizes it, or if shifters need to develop new breeds to be recognized by the AKC.
-->'''Annie:''' Alright, you are now allowed to turn into a Staffordshire Pitbull Terrier!
* The purple prose describes Milo gaining another dimension, which the club figures is either the dog dimension or time, and he potentially exists simultaneously at all points in time.
* Kit confirms that the Alchemy Jug can create acid, basic poison, beer, honey, mayonnaise, oil , vinegar, freshwater, saltwater, wine, and now vaseline.
* "His shaft was searing against Jason's lips."
-->'''Jyll:''' Ow.\\
'''Veli:''' Ouchies, bro.\\
'''Jyll:''' Big ouchies bro.
* The submission came with a summary of the greater premise of the book, and the club loses their minds over the fact that in this world the shifters ''start'' as dogs and gain the ability to become humans, and there's also a virus going around trapping them in dog form.
** This leads to the reveal that Lance from the first book adopted a daughter but also got the virus, and is now stuck as a Border Collie, and then a discussion on how the potential Hallmark movie ''My Dad the Border Collie'' would play out.
** Artie and Cacophony say the book was probably written by a fae...or a mangaka. After trying to keep the kayfabe around when explaining the latter to Jyll, Kit has to put their foot down and state that anime is not real in this setting. Annie insists that it is, and all the legends start with "you know [[Anime/DragonBall Goku]]?"
[[AC: Episode 10 - First in Line for the Throne of Wolfington]]
* The subject of this week's book club appeared from Aelfgifu's bunk, written by some sort of fae named...Maq Weaver.
-->'''Rio:''' Is this self-fanfiction?
** In reality, there's an option on the podcast's patreon to commission Maq for really bad smut, and Annie did so in order to get terrible smut written about knock-off Jyll, Lachlan, and Max.
* Aelfgifu starts the film standing near the exit because she's a little conerned.
* "His Imperial Tyrannical Alpha-Majesty, first in line for the Throne of Wolfington, Jaxon Aurelius Forsythia Megawolf Moon, or more colloquially known to his friends as Jax."
** A metaphor about the beast within and without makes Rio think the story is selfcest.
** Jyll then asks Rio if this is about what he was telling her before about how there were two wolves inside of him and they were both named Toby.
* Then Cacophony reads the next lines in a thick Slavic accent, in which his step-mother tells Jax he will not be crowned monarch until he covers both spouses in his scent. "We will know, Jaxon. We are wolves, after all, and wolves have very good noses."
** Said spouses are named "Gylliana" and "Jachlan".
* Naturally, as soon as Jylliana catches the similarities to her own life, she begins to shrink into the corner. Veli and Artie are captivated.
* Thanks to a throwaway line on the parchment, the club discover they know about the World Eater cult in the feywild. And admit it's weird that this is how they learned about it.
* Jyll wants to burn the story, but Cacophony already made copies of it. Aelfgifu wants to drop it off at a library.
** She also asks if Aelfgifu is having her own smutty book club in the feywild, and then the fey write stories inspired by it and send it back with her.
* The episode ends with Artie finally figuring out that Jachlan is inspired by Lachlan.
[[AC: Episode 11 - Non-Euclidian Sex]]
* ''The Dickens with Love'' by John Lanyon
-->'''Artie:'' Yeah I've had several dickins with love.
** The book was recommended as good for Christmas, but the club isn't familiar with that (assuming it's related to Space Paladin Christ). Artie says he celebrates "Joemas", but doesn't elaborate.
** Aelfgifu says she didn't hear about any of these holidays until she started travelling with the party, and Jyll wonders if Grayson was just against holidays.
** Artie says people who don't believe in holidays are "Joe-hovahs".
-->'''Annie:''' Aesheim has Jehovah's Witnesses now. Printing Press? No. Hot yoga and Jehovah's Witnesses? Absolutely. I love our planet. The DM is not here folks, all of this is now canonical.
* Due to their unfamiliarity with Christmas and sexual nature of all their books, the club assume a comment about an angel tree-topper is literally about an angel topping a tree.
* Aelfgifu says the name "Sedgewick" makes her think of a candle in a bush.
* Some choice grammar makes the club wonder if one of the participants in a 69 is a Cephalothorax or have their head detached.
** Alexi wants to make a comment about a {{cephalophore}}, but knows Aelfgifu wouldn't know that word.
** Truly, the amount of grammar strangeness and metaphors present in the sex scene causes a lot of logistical confusion for the club.
* Jyll comments that she's getting personally offended by how often angels are used as metaphors. Artie asks if that's how she got her wings - she got dicked down real good.
[[AC: Episode 12 - I Was Promised a Dragon]]
* Another story from "the fey Maq Weaver" has appeared.
-->'''Annie:''' I would love to learn useful things about my patron other than their sexual preferences.
* The protagonist's name, Sylvanzalea Everglimmer, is criticized as being almost too stereotypical of an elf name.
* "Sylvanzalea, you may fuck the dragon to your heart's content."
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I haven't picked a god but if they talked in my head and said "Aelfgifu, you go fuck that dragon", I'd convert for that.
* The whiplash of the club getting excited about the dragon lover having two dicks, to concern that they have spikes on them.
** On the subject of multiple dicks, Artie says some merfolk who are descended from sharks have two dicks as well. Jyll points out that Artie has shark teeth, which (unintentionally) prompts him to undo his pants and feel around to double check. Just the one.
* Jyll is concerned Lachlan might be flying the ship and therefore be able to overhear everything in book club. Artie asks if she's worried he'll hear about her discussing his wolf dick and what she wants to do with it.
-->'''Artie:''' Relationships are all about conversation and open communication.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' With all of your friends.\\
'''Artie:''' With all of your friends...and your acquaintances...and that guy who kind of hangs out in that corner that you think is cute.\\
'''Cacophony:''' What?\\
'''Jyll:''' Who?\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, I'm thinking about my own experiences.
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[[AC: Hired Mussel Part 1 - Rich Inner Lives]]
* The game is styled after ''VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeon'', so the player characters will be Breadsticks, Toolbox, Lawnmower, and Dewey.
** Alexi is absent for this oneshot, but has given anyone permission to play as Breadsticks. Except Anna misspeaks and says "everyone" can play Breadsticks, leading to her and Annie comparing things to ''WebVideo/TwitchPlaysPokemon''.
** Annie feels like a flail snail.
-->'''Kit:''' Just generally or..?\\
'''Annie:''' Well, I mean, it's really early and I don't have a lot going on in my brain right now, so I just feel like bonking into a wall.
** With Kit taking Toolbox and Maq taking Breadsticks, Annie has a chuckle over Rio PlayingAgainstType as Dewey the smart character. Rio counters by pulling out a perfect Dewey voice.
* Breadsticks has been developing a relationship with the seagulls in Taphos. The relationship is hate.
* Maq pronounces pseudodragon as "Suede-o Dragon".
* They tell Jake to keep in all the long pauses during conversations with Lawnmower, which are artistic choices.
-->'''Kit:''' Any conversation with Lawnmower is gonna be like calling Creator/AlanMoore on the phone.\\
'''Annie:''' Probably with less talk about wizards.
'''Kit:''' Probably.
* Lawnmower manages to intimidate the seagulls away from the cave full of clams by just smacking one out of the air, then hoovering it up.
* Dewey has to explain to Breadsticks that crabs are not clams, and in fact eat clams. And seagulls.
-->'''Dewey:''' It's a blood feud.
* The entire time Dewey tries to tell the crabs why they should team up against the seagulls instead of eating the players, Annie casually narrates that Lawnmower has continued moving forward without attempting to stop.
** Anna describes Lawnmower's walking speed as "dramatic timing".
** When the crabs decide Dewey is a crab, Dewey tries to say that he's a land crab and has different traditions than they do. Annie then realizes that, because Dewey used to live in a spooky Halloween castle adventure dungeon, he's a ''dungeoness'' crab.
-->'''Rio:''' Excuse me, I have to drive an hour and a half to noogie Annie, I'm sorry, we're gonna have to end right now.
* In the stinger, Kit mentions that they opened up the counter app on their phone and the last thing they felt compelled to count was just "Birds".
[[AC: Hired Mussel Part 2 - Clam Justice]]
* The traditional crab initiation is...a beauty pageant! Everyone is excited except Dewey, who's internal fan starts whirring in distress.
* Dewey tries to explain to Breadsticks that Lawnmower is corrosive by saying "he turns everything he touches into mush with his butt."
* While everyone tries to attach various shells and seaglass to their bodies, Toolbox tries to get by with just grooming herself. When the crabs insist on a prop, she just picks up some seaglass and holds it. Breadsticks takes things into her own paws and puts a large shell on Toolbox's head like a hat.
* Dewey does a sexy walk for the fashion show because he's channeling the most beautiful person he knows - Cacophony.
** Toolbox walks to the edge of the catwalk with "the normal poise of someone who's watched their worst enemy break their leg and is hear to see them cut it off". However the crabs criticize her for being too fluffy, telling her to "have more hard next time". Toolbox can't really argue with that.
** Lawnmower manages to sashay despite the lack of hips, and vogues with his flails while singing "[[Theatre/AnnieGetYourGun Anything You Can Do]]" in his head. This is the most impressive thing to the crabs, and they all click clack approvingly (like beat poetry).
-->'''Lawnmower:''' I am the parade.
* While everyone was distracted by the beauty pageant, the seagulls storm the cave.
-->'''Annie:''' If only we had some [[Film/{{Birdemic}} coat hangers]].
* Anna asks how Dewey's handling this assault.
-->'''Rio:''' Dewey's made of metal. Dewey don't give ashit.
** Dewey decides to jump onto and rodeo one of the seagulls, but Rio rolls snake eyes and lands upside-down headfirst in the sand.
** Toolbox gets distracted by Dewey's flailing and starts batting at him, accidentally digging him out.
* After the critters manage to break down a wall in the cave and find a treasure trove of clams, they also find a whole bunch of dead adventurers. While everyone stuffs some saddlebags full of clams to put on Lawnmower, Dewey uses some of the discarded capes to make a bindle to fill with adventurer journals.
** However, the cave is blocking Breadsticks' teleporting ability.
-->'''Breadsticks:''' AAAGH I'M SO CLAUSTROPHOBIC!\\
'''Annie:''' Oh my god you'll have to use your breath weapons, or your magic, or your wings, or literally anything you little magic baby!
* In order to get out among the battle between seagulls and crabs, Breadsticks uses the classic military tactic of running at them and screaming incoherently.
** Dewey does the same, except he's screaming "These aren't clams, they're bones! I like bones!"
** Lawnmower revs up and jets across the battlefield, with the swirling flails described by Rio as "turbo-vaguing".
** And Toolbox, who shoved herself into one of the saddlebags, is simply holding on for dear life.
* Lawnmower gets worked up enough to create a slimy sweat.
-->'''Annie:''' It's not slime, it's mucus!\\
'''Kit:''' What is mucus if not slime with a purpose.
** The mucus dissolves two of the clam haul, and Annie starts singing [[Theatre/IntoTheWoods "No One Is Alone"]] in the background.
* The game is styled after ''VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeon'', so the player characters will be Breadsticks, Toolbox, Lawnmower, and Dewey.
** Alexi is absent for this oneshot, but has given anyone permission to play as Breadsticks. Except Anna misspeaks and says "everyone" can play Breadsticks, leading to her and Annie comparing things to ''WebVideo/TwitchPlaysPokemon''.
** Annie feels like a flail snail.
-->'''Kit:''' Just generally or..?\\
'''Annie:''' Well, I mean, it's really early and I don't have a lot going on in my brain right now, so I just feel like bonking into a wall.
** With Kit taking Toolbox and Maq taking Breadsticks, Annie has a chuckle over Rio PlayingAgainstType as Dewey the smart character. Rio counters by pulling out a perfect Dewey voice.
* Breadsticks has been developing a relationship with the seagulls in Taphos. The relationship is hate.
* Maq pronounces pseudodragon as "Suede-o Dragon".
* They tell Jake to keep in all the long pauses during conversations with Lawnmower, which are artistic choices.
-->'''Kit:''' Any conversation with Lawnmower is gonna be like calling Creator/AlanMoore on the phone.\\
'''Annie:''' Probably with less talk about wizards.
'''Kit:''' Probably.
* Lawnmower manages to intimidate the seagulls away from the cave full of clams by just smacking one out of the air, then hoovering it up.
* Dewey has to explain to Breadsticks that crabs are not clams, and in fact eat clams. And seagulls.
-->'''Dewey:''' It's a blood feud.
* The entire time Dewey tries to tell the crabs why they should team up against the seagulls instead of eating the players, Annie casually narrates that Lawnmower has continued moving forward without attempting to stop.
** Anna describes Lawnmower's walking speed as "dramatic timing".
** When the crabs decide Dewey is a crab, Dewey tries to say that he's a land crab and has different traditions than they do. Annie then realizes that, because Dewey used to live in a spooky Halloween castle adventure dungeon, he's a ''dungeoness'' crab.
-->'''Rio:''' Excuse me, I have to drive an hour and a half to noogie Annie, I'm sorry, we're gonna have to end right now.
* In the stinger, Kit mentions that they opened up the counter app on their phone and the last thing they felt compelled to count was just "Birds".
[[AC: Hired Mussel Part 2 - Clam Justice]]
* The traditional crab initiation is...a beauty pageant! Everyone is excited except Dewey, who's internal fan starts whirring in distress.
* Dewey tries to explain to Breadsticks that Lawnmower is corrosive by saying "he turns everything he touches into mush with his butt."
* While everyone tries to attach various shells and seaglass to their bodies, Toolbox tries to get by with just grooming herself. When the crabs insist on a prop, she just picks up some seaglass and holds it. Breadsticks takes things into her own paws and puts a large shell on Toolbox's head like a hat.
* Dewey does a sexy walk for the fashion show because he's channeling the most beautiful person he knows - Cacophony.
** Toolbox walks to the edge of the catwalk with "the normal poise of someone who's watched their worst enemy break their leg and is hear to see them cut it off". However the crabs criticize her for being too fluffy, telling her to "have more hard next time". Toolbox can't really argue with that.
** Lawnmower manages to sashay despite the lack of hips, and vogues with his flails while singing "[[Theatre/AnnieGetYourGun Anything You Can Do]]" in his head. This is the most impressive thing to the crabs, and they all click clack approvingly (like beat poetry).
-->'''Lawnmower:''' I am the parade.
* While everyone was distracted by the beauty pageant, the seagulls storm the cave.
-->'''Annie:''' If only we had some [[Film/{{Birdemic}} coat hangers]].
* Anna asks how Dewey's handling this assault.
-->'''Rio:''' Dewey's made of metal. Dewey don't give ashit.
** Dewey decides to jump onto and rodeo one of the seagulls, but Rio rolls snake eyes and lands upside-down headfirst in the sand.
** Toolbox gets distracted by Dewey's flailing and starts batting at him, accidentally digging him out.
* After the critters manage to break down a wall in the cave and find a treasure trove of clams, they also find a whole bunch of dead adventurers. While everyone stuffs some saddlebags full of clams to put on Lawnmower, Dewey uses some of the discarded capes to make a bindle to fill with adventurer journals.
** However, the cave is blocking Breadsticks' teleporting ability.
-->'''Breadsticks:''' AAAGH I'M SO CLAUSTROPHOBIC!\\
'''Annie:''' Oh my god you'll have to use your breath weapons, or your magic, or your wings, or literally anything you little magic baby!
* In order to get out among the battle between seagulls and crabs, Breadsticks uses the classic military tactic of running at them and screaming incoherently.
** Dewey does the same, except he's screaming "These aren't clams, they're bones! I like bones!"
** Lawnmower revs up and jets across the battlefield, with the swirling flails described by Rio as "turbo-vaguing".
** And Toolbox, who shoved herself into one of the saddlebags, is simply holding on for dear life.
* Lawnmower gets worked up enough to create a slimy sweat.
-->'''Annie:''' It's not slime, it's mucus!\\
'''Kit:''' What is mucus if not slime with a purpose.
** The mucus dissolves two of the clam haul, and Annie starts singing [[Theatre/IntoTheWoods "No One Is Alone"]] in the background.
