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[[AC: Wolf Party - No Cults, Just Vibes]]
* We open in a pocket universe, far away from the eyes of Gods and Kit.
* Aelfgifu is wearing a dress designed with hidden pockets to sneak in snacks and Breadsticks. Breadsticks is also wearing a matching dress.
* Rio describes Artie's outfit as a hot, leather-clad mariachi.
* Artie doesn't say "let's go lesbians" because Lachlan's present, but he says he's okay being an honorary lesbian for the night. Then the others point out that Cacophony is the only lesbian around and everyone else is vaguley queer.
* Rio explains that if any of the women have heightened emotions, they might turn into werewolves in the sphere, and it might cause damage to their clothes and surroundings.
-->'''Artie:''' Lemme tell you, werewolf sex? It's a rough time.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Ruff, ey!\\
'''Artie:''' Shut up.\\
'''Lachlan:''' I know, it's a hairy situation.\\
'''Jyll:''' Now you've got him started.\\
'''Artie:'''Goddammit Lachlan!\\
'''Lachlan:''' Is this not the tail you want?\\
'''Artie:'''I'm going to noogie you, and I don't give a shit waht Mr. Herst says.\\
'''Lachlan:''' You literally can't reach my head.\\
'''Jyll:''' Don't worry babe, his bark is worse than his bite.
* Aelfgifu meets a tree woman, Beatrix, who's impressed that she's actually eating instead of starving herself like the other nobles. Aelfgifu tells her her secret is her dress, which is full of snacks. And swords.
** They then bond over both being from the woods.
-->'''Beatrix:''' They don't know what it's like to have a squirrel live on you.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I once spent months attaching acorns and nuts to myself and standing really still untila chipmunk would hang out on my arms.
* Rio asks the girls what emotion might get them riled up. Annie was initially thinking fear for Jylliana, but now that she knows the vibe Rio is going for she changes it to "general hornt-ness". Aelfgifu and Cacophony gives options, but they also agree that the whole party thirsts.
* Lachlan accidentally pokes Jyll in the eye with his long-beaked bird mask. He tries to bend the nose down, but Jyll says he looks less like a bird and more like a [[Franchise/TheMuppets whatever]].
* Jyll gets really hung up on what's going on with the roadie eating cheese, and Artie has to explain that no, he's fine, he's just really into eating cheese.
-->'''Annie:'''Nothing can ruin this cheese night.\\
'''Rio:'''Nothing except a bucket of pig's blood, I guess.
* Lachlan sorted out his mask situation by swapping his with someone else fast enough for the other person not to notice. It helps that they were drunk, and when Jyll and Lachlan look over at him they see him struggling to take more drinks and constantly bumping into the messed-up beak.
* Cacophony starts looking for hot dragon ladies (who are also werewolves) in her area. Annie starts singing [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E04Werewolf "Where, Oh, Werewolf"]].
* Jylliana gets stuck in a room with a kid who just read a book about dragons, and proceeds to tell them all about dragons and dragon lances and their dragon OC.
* Beatrix and Aelfgifu decide to just hype themselves up and tickle each other until they turn into werewolves so they can run around the grounds.
** When she shows up at the Kestrel with hair full of leaves and sticks and viney bits, nobody is confused because this is a normal Aelfgifu thing to happen.
* Lachlan offers to turn into a wolf when Jyll says she might want to, and when she blushes her ears pop into wolfy ones. They then pan from the fireplace they were sitting next to...to a different fireplace.
* We open in a pocket universe, far away from the eyes of Gods and Kit.
* Aelfgifu is wearing a dress designed with hidden pockets to sneak in snacks and Breadsticks. Breadsticks is also wearing a matching dress.
* Rio describes Artie's outfit as a hot, leather-clad mariachi.
* Artie doesn't say "let's go lesbians" because Lachlan's present, but he says he's okay being an honorary lesbian for the night. Then the others point out that Cacophony is the only lesbian around and everyone else is vaguley queer.
* Rio explains that if any of the women have heightened emotions, they might turn into werewolves in the sphere, and it might cause damage to their clothes and surroundings.
-->'''Artie:''' Lemme tell you, werewolf sex? It's a rough time.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Ruff, ey!\\
'''Artie:''' Shut up.\\
'''Lachlan:''' I know, it's a hairy situation.\\
'''Jyll:''' Now you've got him started.\\
'''Artie:'''Goddammit Lachlan!\\
'''Lachlan:''' Is this not the tail you want?\\
'''Artie:'''I'm going to noogie you, and I don't give a shit waht Mr. Herst says.\\
'''Lachlan:''' You literally can't reach my head.\\
'''Jyll:''' Don't worry babe, his bark is worse than his bite.
* Aelfgifu meets a tree woman, Beatrix, who's impressed that she's actually eating instead of starving herself like the other nobles. Aelfgifu tells her her secret is her dress, which is full of snacks. And swords.
** They then bond over both being from the woods.
-->'''Beatrix:''' They don't know what it's like to have a squirrel live on you.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I once spent months attaching acorns and nuts to myself and standing really still untila chipmunk would hang out on my arms.
* Rio asks the girls what emotion might get them riled up. Annie was initially thinking fear for Jylliana, but now that she knows the vibe Rio is going for she changes it to "general hornt-ness". Aelfgifu and Cacophony gives options, but they also agree that the whole party thirsts.
* Lachlan accidentally pokes Jyll in the eye with his long-beaked bird mask. He tries to bend the nose down, but Jyll says he looks less like a bird and more like a [[Franchise/TheMuppets whatever]].
* Jyll gets really hung up on what's going on with the roadie eating cheese, and Artie has to explain that no, he's fine, he's just really into eating cheese.
-->'''Annie:'''Nothing can ruin this cheese night.\\
'''Rio:'''Nothing except a bucket of pig's blood, I guess.
* Lachlan sorted out his mask situation by swapping his with someone else fast enough for the other person not to notice. It helps that they were drunk, and when Jyll and Lachlan look over at him they see him struggling to take more drinks and constantly bumping into the messed-up beak.
* Cacophony starts looking for hot dragon ladies (who are also werewolves) in her area. Annie starts singing [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E04Werewolf "Where, Oh, Werewolf"]].
* Jylliana gets stuck in a room with a kid who just read a book about dragons, and proceeds to tell them all about dragons and dragon lances and their dragon OC.
* Beatrix and Aelfgifu decide to just hype themselves up and tickle each other until they turn into werewolves so they can run around the grounds.
** When she shows up at the Kestrel with hair full of leaves and sticks and viney bits, nobody is confused because this is a normal Aelfgifu thing to happen.
* Lachlan offers to turn into a wolf when Jyll says she might want to, and when she blushes her ears pop into wolfy ones. They then pan from the fireplace they were sitting next to...to a different fireplace.
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Changed line(s) 2855,2856 (click to see context) from:
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-->'''Jyll:''' What books have you been reading?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I think thoughts!\\
'''Jyll:''' Like, a couple of months ago you were asking me what cults where. What extra credit have you been doing?
** As the conversation goes on, Aelfgifu tells her to be cautious when she reaches out to touch these things - [[Music/DepecheMode reach out and touch faith]], [[WaxingLyrical if you will]].
-->'''Maq:''' Thank you! I was thinking about that the whole time.
** After Alefgifu and Jyll sort everything out and understand that they're just looking out for each other, Jyll pulls her into a side hug. After a moment, Aelfgifu declares that this is too much heartwarming emotion and quickly kills a rabbit for a snack.
* After finding some other adventurers who didn't survive an encounter with the wildlife, the party decide to take one head (to Speak with Dead) and all their money, which is a 'lot'. Artie grabs it all immediately and starts arguing with Jyll, since she's concerned he's going to keep it instead of giving a tithe to the ship on their return, before storming away. Jingling.
** Wyn manages to grab it back with sleight of hand, despite Rio's insistence that they could notice it with a roll of 5 and a Perception of +1.
** Wyn gives it back to Jyll, who puts it with her 3229 Electrum.
* The party see a pod of dolphins off the coast in the distance, and one of them waves at Artie.
-->'''Artie:''' How rude!\\
'''Jylliana:''' What does that mean in dolphin?\\
'''Artie:''' You don't wanna know. He's an asshole. Like all dolphins.
* Jyll Sends to Max in the hopes that he'd actualyl explain what's going on and if he's safe. He immediately replies that Vodon is "full of liars and manipulaters, and you wound't like the person [he] has to be right now".
-->'''Rio:''' Kit, are you doing a "you won't like me any more, I'm a monster"? Because that's rude to me specifically.
** Annie refers to Max as "heir to the throne of Wolfington".
* In the morning, the party discover that they accidentally put their Tiny Hut on top of a giant buried crab, and are awoken by it struggling to emerge from underneath.
* Artie saves a foal belonging to a feywild horse, and in return her mother Dawnstar tells Artie he may call upon her three times - no more.
-->'''Artie:''' Thank you! I will not remember that.
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Changed line(s) 2848,2849 (click to see context) from:
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* Jyll asks the group if they've heard of the man Baphomet named, Varengar. They do not.
-->'''Artie:''' The Varengar Bus is coming?\\
'''Kit:''' Do not ask for whom the bus comes. It comes for thee!
* Artie and Wyn see some two-headed wolves during their watch. Artie rolls a nat 1 on his Nature Check, so not only does he know why wolves might have two heads, but isn't sure what a wolf is to begin with. Wyn has to explain using Max as a starting point.
[[AC: Episode 99: Crabs All the Way Down]]
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Changed line(s) 2802 (click to see context) from:
* Artie tries to assure Jyll that Lachlan wants to be exclusive because he said no to him. Wyn counters "everyone says no to you, Artie" and Artie ''freak out''. He has a temper tantrum and then returns to the tavern in the hopes of proving them all wrong.
to:
* Artie tries to assure Jyll that Lachlan wants to be exclusive because he said no to him. Wyn counters "everyone says no to you, Artie" Artie", and Artie ''freak ''freaks out''. He has a temper tantrum and then returns to the tavern in the hopes of proving them all wrong.
Changed line(s) 2812 (click to see context) from:
'''Jyll:''' Can I give you a juicebox? Will you feel better if you have a juicebox?
to:
'''Jyll:''' Can I give you a juicebox? Will you feel better if you have a juicebox?juicebox?\\
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[[AC:Episode 97: Class-Mandated Paranoia]]
* Jyll got Artie some goldfish crackers too. He calls it cannibalism.
* Wyn pulls Artie aside to apologize for saying everyone says no to him, but has to clarify to the others that she's not having sex with him.
* Jyll tries to compliment Lachlan on his hair, and ends up asking him if he got gayer. He says that he got ''queer-er'', perhaps.
* Alexi says that Aelfgifu's features and abilities are great for determining the safest route through the wilderness since she can sense basically every beast in the area - the titular "class-mandated paranoia". Then they encounter an Amphisbaena.
-->'''Anna:''' You know ''WesternAnimation/CatDog''? This is like that, but it's Snake-Snake.\\
'''Alexi:''' Why is a snake with an extra head not a beast? I ask you, Gary Gygax's ghost?
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".
'''Alexi:''' And it's just there to fuck with rangers.
** Insulting the snake involves such gems as "you think you're so smart because you can locomote" and "the snake thinks it can take on four people, don't you know the law of numbers?"
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Snake can't do math!\\
'''Jyll:''' We can't do math either.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's even worse at math than us!\\
'''Jyll:''' We're a party full of gays, that's the ''really'' cutting insult.
** Wyn casting Dissonant Whispers on it is just her making hissing noises.
* Wyn gets to level up on her own because she did some shenanigans with Aelfgifu earlier and tipped over the limit thanks to killing some rats.
* Trying to figure out dinner plans, Wyn suggests casting Heat Metal on Jyll's armor, which she kiboshes because she doesn't want it to warp. Aelfgifu immediately says that she could use her mythril breastplate to make soup.
-->'''Kit:''' It's not gonna taste weird at all!\\
'''Alexi:''' This is a brilliant plan until Aelfgifu buckles on her breastplate and goes "shit, it smells like soup".\\
'''Maq:''' I can prestidigitate it clean! It's a foolproof plan!\\
'''Anna:''' Make sure you clean it before you do it or else it'll taste like boob sweat.\\
'''Annie:''' I'm not casting mending on your soup-plate.
[[AC: Episode 98: Ask Your Questions, Little Angel]]
* Jylliana attempts to commune with Baphomet, and Aelfgifu tries to help by finding some live game she can use as tribute. Instead she finds some potentially psychadelic mushrooms.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' This one's for you, Space Dad.
* Baphomet says that, in order to stop the World Eater cult on Taphos, "there's a worm in the well. You have to take it out."
-->'''Maq:''' ''*whispering*'' Is that with a "y" or an "o"?\\
'''Kit:''' An "o".\\
'''Alexi:''' Don't ask the God to correct their spelling.
** Baphomet declares he likes Jyll.
-->'''Jyll:''' Th-th-thank you? I don't think that's a good thing.\\
'''Anna:''' Monster boyfriend three incoming.
* Jyll got Artie some goldfish crackers too. He calls it cannibalism.
* Wyn pulls Artie aside to apologize for saying everyone says no to him, but has to clarify to the others that she's not having sex with him.
* Jyll tries to compliment Lachlan on his hair, and ends up asking him if he got gayer. He says that he got ''queer-er'', perhaps.
* Alexi says that Aelfgifu's features and abilities are great for determining the safest route through the wilderness since she can sense basically every beast in the area - the titular "class-mandated paranoia". Then they encounter an Amphisbaena.
-->'''Anna:''' You know ''WesternAnimation/CatDog''? This is like that, but it's Snake-Snake.\\
'''Alexi:''' Why is a snake with an extra head not a beast? I ask you, Gary Gygax's ghost?
'''Kit:''' Well there's this category in the Monster Manual called "monstrosity".
'''Alexi:''' And it's just there to fuck with rangers.
** Insulting the snake involves such gems as "you think you're so smart because you can locomote" and "the snake thinks it can take on four people, don't you know the law of numbers?"
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Snake can't do math!\\
'''Jyll:''' We can't do math either.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's even worse at math than us!\\
'''Jyll:''' We're a party full of gays, that's the ''really'' cutting insult.
** Wyn casting Dissonant Whispers on it is just her making hissing noises.
* Wyn gets to level up on her own because she did some shenanigans with Aelfgifu earlier and tipped over the limit thanks to killing some rats.
* Trying to figure out dinner plans, Wyn suggests casting Heat Metal on Jyll's armor, which she kiboshes because she doesn't want it to warp. Aelfgifu immediately says that she could use her mythril breastplate to make soup.
-->'''Kit:''' It's not gonna taste weird at all!\\
'''Alexi:''' This is a brilliant plan until Aelfgifu buckles on her breastplate and goes "shit, it smells like soup".\\
'''Maq:''' I can prestidigitate it clean! It's a foolproof plan!\\
'''Anna:''' Make sure you clean it before you do it or else it'll taste like boob sweat.\\
'''Annie:''' I'm not casting mending on your soup-plate.
[[AC: Episode 98: Ask Your Questions, Little Angel]]
* Jylliana attempts to commune with Baphomet, and Aelfgifu tries to help by finding some live game she can use as tribute. Instead she finds some potentially psychadelic mushrooms.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' This one's for you, Space Dad.
* Baphomet says that, in order to stop the World Eater cult on Taphos, "there's a worm in the well. You have to take it out."
-->'''Maq:''' ''*whispering*'' Is that with a "y" or an "o"?\\
'''Kit:''' An "o".\\
'''Alexi:''' Don't ask the God to correct their spelling.
** Baphomet declares he likes Jyll.
-->'''Jyll:''' Th-th-thank you? I don't think that's a good thing.\\
'''Anna:''' Monster boyfriend three incoming.
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Is That What Theyre Calling It Now is no longer a trope
Changed line(s) 280 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Aelfgifu''': Oh [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow is that what we're calling it now]]?
to:
-->'''Aelfgifu''': Oh [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow is that what we're calling it now]]?now?
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Changed line(s) 2755 (click to see context) from:
** Alexi names the titular Brimothy because kit couldn't get their name generator open fast enough.
to:
** Alexi names the titular Brimothy because kit Kit couldn't get their name generator open fast enough.
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[[AC: Episode 96: The Sun Rises In The Mountains And Sets In The Nasty Pit]]
* Kit presents a map that Aelfgifu drew, but Alexi misinterprets and thinks Kit wants them to try to replicate the map and they party must use that.
** In-universe, Aelfgifu immediately tries to carve it in the table until Jylliana shoves a journal and pen into her hands.
** Aelfgifu doesn't normally use cardinal directions, instead saying things are towards the sea, towards the mountains, or towards the Nasty Pit.
** Kit gives an estimate of how fast the party can travel to their destination. Aeflgifu then expans on that a few days to factor in characters weighed down by heavy armour and general bickering.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' We can probably manage it in four days if we're...you know. Disciplined. Haha.\\
'''Wyn:''' I cannot think of a single time in our lives we've been disciplined.\\
'''Artie:''' I've been disciplined!\\
'''Wyn:''' Not like that, Artie.
** Aelfgifu's excited at the prospect of camping because "it's been so long since I've licked a tree!" Artie says she could just ask Veli, causing a real spit take from Alexi.
** Artie turns towards the other tavern patrons and shouts "Are the monsters hot?" When one guy says they can breath fire, Jyll clarifies that they're asking if they're ''sexy'' (they are not).
** They decide to get more info from the guy who spoke, Dimitrios, but Artie immediately tries to flirt. Aelfgifu sits on the table in front of him to keep Dimitrios from getting distracted.
* After Anna explains that Lachlan is never without his abacus, notebook, and clipboard, Annie and Rio call him a nerd at the exact same time. Anna suggests Jake sync the episode only by that.
-->'''Anna:''' Listen, Lachlan is a quartermaster, he's a ''professional'' nerd.
* Artie tries to assure Jyll that Lachlan wants to be exclusive because he said no to him. Wyn counters "everyone says no to you, Artie" and Artie ''freak out''. He has a temper tantrum and then returns to the tavern in the hopes of proving them all wrong.
* Aeflgifu doesn't know what taxes are but she's picked up the phrase "tax dedecutable" and applies it to anything that inconveniences her.
* Jyll and Aelfgifu try to figure out how much sunlight they have left before realizing the difficulty of calculating that on a disc world like Taphos. Then Aelfgifu panics and wonders if those are more common than spherical planets and they've just been lucky so far, while Jyll complains about how stars are sometimes just lizards.
-->'''Anna:''' Don't get her ''star''-ted.\\
'''Kit:''' Lachlan takes seven psychic damage.\\
'''Anna:''' He dies instantly!
* The conversation on how detailed Kit plans on getting with the party's rations turns to the possibility of Jyll having a lasanga setting on her "conjure food and water" spell.
* Jyll retrieves Artie from the tavern and congratulates him on getting handsy with a hot ranger minotaur in there. Artie snaps back "yeah, I can get it!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Do you wanna hit some monsters or whatever?\\
'''Artie:''' Well I was ''about'' to hit a monster and then you came in.\\
'''Jyll:''' Can I give you a juicebox? Will you feel better if you have a juicebox?
'''Artie:''' Yes.
* Kit presents a map that Aelfgifu drew, but Alexi misinterprets and thinks Kit wants them to try to replicate the map and they party must use that.
** In-universe, Aelfgifu immediately tries to carve it in the table until Jylliana shoves a journal and pen into her hands.
** Aelfgifu doesn't normally use cardinal directions, instead saying things are towards the sea, towards the mountains, or towards the Nasty Pit.
** Kit gives an estimate of how fast the party can travel to their destination. Aeflgifu then expans on that a few days to factor in characters weighed down by heavy armour and general bickering.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' We can probably manage it in four days if we're...you know. Disciplined. Haha.\\
'''Wyn:''' I cannot think of a single time in our lives we've been disciplined.\\
'''Artie:''' I've been disciplined!\\
'''Wyn:''' Not like that, Artie.
** Aelfgifu's excited at the prospect of camping because "it's been so long since I've licked a tree!" Artie says she could just ask Veli, causing a real spit take from Alexi.
** Artie turns towards the other tavern patrons and shouts "Are the monsters hot?" When one guy says they can breath fire, Jyll clarifies that they're asking if they're ''sexy'' (they are not).
** They decide to get more info from the guy who spoke, Dimitrios, but Artie immediately tries to flirt. Aelfgifu sits on the table in front of him to keep Dimitrios from getting distracted.
* After Anna explains that Lachlan is never without his abacus, notebook, and clipboard, Annie and Rio call him a nerd at the exact same time. Anna suggests Jake sync the episode only by that.
-->'''Anna:''' Listen, Lachlan is a quartermaster, he's a ''professional'' nerd.
* Artie tries to assure Jyll that Lachlan wants to be exclusive because he said no to him. Wyn counters "everyone says no to you, Artie" and Artie ''freak out''. He has a temper tantrum and then returns to the tavern in the hopes of proving them all wrong.
* Aeflgifu doesn't know what taxes are but she's picked up the phrase "tax dedecutable" and applies it to anything that inconveniences her.
* Jyll and Aelfgifu try to figure out how much sunlight they have left before realizing the difficulty of calculating that on a disc world like Taphos. Then Aelfgifu panics and wonders if those are more common than spherical planets and they've just been lucky so far, while Jyll complains about how stars are sometimes just lizards.
-->'''Anna:''' Don't get her ''star''-ted.\\
'''Kit:''' Lachlan takes seven psychic damage.\\
'''Anna:''' He dies instantly!
* The conversation on how detailed Kit plans on getting with the party's rations turns to the possibility of Jyll having a lasanga setting on her "conjure food and water" spell.
* Jyll retrieves Artie from the tavern and congratulates him on getting handsy with a hot ranger minotaur in there. Artie snaps back "yeah, I can get it!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Do you wanna hit some monsters or whatever?\\
'''Artie:''' Well I was ''about'' to hit a monster and then you came in.\\
'''Jyll:''' Can I give you a juicebox? Will you feel better if you have a juicebox?
'''Artie:''' Yes.
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Changed line(s) 2784,2785 (click to see context) from:
'''Kit:''' Minus one is a farely easy calculation, I will point out.
'''Annie:''' And yet!
'''Annie:''' And yet!
to:
'''Kit:''' Minus one is a farely easy calculation, I will point out.
out.\\
'''Annie:''' Andyet!yet!\\
'''Annie:''' And
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Changed line(s) 2746,2748 (click to see context) from:
* Aelfgifu's attempt to socialize with other sailors starts with "How do you do, fellow spell-sailors".
* The titular Brimothy is
* The titular Brimothy is
to:
* The titular Brimothy is
Changed line(s) 2758 (click to see context) from:
to:
** She tells him about the singing fish that she had made on Biancarda and recommends he get one for himself.
** Kit says they have to keep using Brimothy as the go-to since he's named now.
-->'''Annie:''' Brimothy has a rich inner life!\\
'''Kit:''' Thousands of years from now, Brimothy's multi-volume diary is going to be an important historical artifact.
** Aelfgifu's description of how religions work.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' So y'know, they get together and they're like "I like this thing up in the sky" and "I like the same, y'know, sky-person" and then they're buds. And they got their little chants and books and things.
** Annie snarks that sailors are [[SarcasmMode notoriously unlikely to seek out divine protection on their travels]].
* Brimothy explains the Duke of Stardust, the anthropomorphic personification of space that the sailors casual give offerings to as supersitition, who after a moment Rio realizes is basically Music/DavidBowie. He also has a husband, the Quicksilver Knight, who represents time, and Aelfgifu is excited to find out that they're gay.
** The sailors also confirm that the Duke likes "nice things" as offerings, like wine. Or drugs.
** Aelfgifu is told that there's a lighthouse you can visit to commune with them, but the sailors are unsure if it's a literal lighthouse or a lighthouse of the soul. Annie under her breath suggests [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants building a birdhouse in your soul]].
* On the spelling, Alexi insists it's P-E-P-Y-S but pronounced "Peeps". Annie and Alexi then start arguing whether it should be pronounced "Pee-piss". As you can see from the episode title, you can tell who won out.
* Artie orders food at the local pub and orders six silver worth of wine and baklava. He hands the bartender a gold (almost twice as much) and asks if any weirdos have come through lately.
-->'''Annie:''' Says the fuckboy fishman.\\
'''Bartender:''' You mean besides you?\\
'''Artie:''' Hey, I tipped you!
** The bartender mentions serving the people who say weird stuff like "the worm will show them the way" (something the sailors also mentioned encountering). He's not too phased by it, he just makes sure nobody buys anything on credit.
* Upon hearing that the Vodoni Emperor may have been assassinated, Max's child sister might be the new Empress, and the political situation is much more complicated than Max has been letting on, Jylliana furiously composes and launches a Sending at him. His response is basically a groggy "I just woke up, huh?"
** Aelfgifu then tells Jyll to leave him hanging because she should conserve her spell slots since the island is full of monsters - but on the upside, she can spend this time composing more angry sendings for Max once they're done.
* When the party return to Artie, he's drunk and badly singing. Kit points out that the wine is watered down, so he's probably the only drunk person at the pub.
** The Star Wipe returns to skip Aelfgifu explaining everything she learned from the sailors.
** Wyn suggests the Duke could be Aelfgifu's patron, and that she could have "two gay dads and a suncle".
** Aelfgifu assures Jyll that she'll keep telling her what's going on so that Jyll can make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, which calms Jyll for a moment. Then Aelfgifu declares that [[BrickJoke they gotta get some drugs]].
* In the stinger, Rio stresses about not being able to edit their character sheet.
-->'''Kit:''' There should not be anything on here you can't edit.\\
'''Rio:''' Why won't it let me edit?\\
'''Maq:''' We don't trust you, Rio.\\
'''Rio:''' That's fair.\\
'''Annie:''' Honey it does require you doing math, and that is a tricky situation.\\
'''Kit:''' Minus one is a farely easy calculation, I will point out.
'''Annie:''' And yet!
'''Rio:''' Oh, my cat took off the number lock.
** Kit says they have to keep using Brimothy as the go-to since he's named now.
-->'''Annie:''' Brimothy has a rich inner life!\\
'''Kit:''' Thousands of years from now, Brimothy's multi-volume diary is going to be an important historical artifact.
** Aelfgifu's description of how religions work.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' So y'know, they get together and they're like "I like this thing up in the sky" and "I like the same, y'know, sky-person" and then they're buds. And they got their little chants and books and things.
** Annie snarks that sailors are [[SarcasmMode notoriously unlikely to seek out divine protection on their travels]].
* Brimothy explains the Duke of Stardust, the anthropomorphic personification of space that the sailors casual give offerings to as supersitition, who after a moment Rio realizes is basically Music/DavidBowie. He also has a husband, the Quicksilver Knight, who represents time, and Aelfgifu is excited to find out that they're gay.
** The sailors also confirm that the Duke likes "nice things" as offerings, like wine. Or drugs.
** Aelfgifu is told that there's a lighthouse you can visit to commune with them, but the sailors are unsure if it's a literal lighthouse or a lighthouse of the soul. Annie under her breath suggests [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants building a birdhouse in your soul]].
* On the spelling, Alexi insists it's P-E-P-Y-S but pronounced "Peeps". Annie and Alexi then start arguing whether it should be pronounced "Pee-piss". As you can see from the episode title, you can tell who won out.
* Artie orders food at the local pub and orders six silver worth of wine and baklava. He hands the bartender a gold (almost twice as much) and asks if any weirdos have come through lately.
-->'''Annie:''' Says the fuckboy fishman.\\
'''Bartender:''' You mean besides you?\\
'''Artie:''' Hey, I tipped you!
** The bartender mentions serving the people who say weird stuff like "the worm will show them the way" (something the sailors also mentioned encountering). He's not too phased by it, he just makes sure nobody buys anything on credit.
* Upon hearing that the Vodoni Emperor may have been assassinated, Max's child sister might be the new Empress, and the political situation is much more complicated than Max has been letting on, Jylliana furiously composes and launches a Sending at him. His response is basically a groggy "I just woke up, huh?"
** Aelfgifu then tells Jyll to leave him hanging because she should conserve her spell slots since the island is full of monsters - but on the upside, she can spend this time composing more angry sendings for Max once they're done.
* When the party return to Artie, he's drunk and badly singing. Kit points out that the wine is watered down, so he's probably the only drunk person at the pub.
** The Star Wipe returns to skip Aelfgifu explaining everything she learned from the sailors.
** Wyn suggests the Duke could be Aelfgifu's patron, and that she could have "two gay dads and a suncle".
** Aelfgifu assures Jyll that she'll keep telling her what's going on so that Jyll can make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, which calms Jyll for a moment. Then Aelfgifu declares that [[BrickJoke they gotta get some drugs]].
* In the stinger, Rio stresses about not being able to edit their character sheet.
-->'''Kit:''' There should not be anything on here you can't edit.\\
'''Rio:''' Why won't it let me edit?\\
'''Maq:''' We don't trust you, Rio.\\
'''Rio:''' That's fair.\\
'''Annie:''' Honey it does require you doing math, and that is a tricky situation.\\
'''Kit:''' Minus one is a farely easy calculation, I will point out.
'''Annie:''' And yet!
'''Rio:''' Oh, my cat took off the number lock.
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Changed line(s) 2746 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Aelfgifu's attempt to socialize with other sailors starts with "How do you do, fellow spell-sailors".
* The titular Brimothy is
[[AC: Episode 95: The Legend of Brimothy Pepys]]
* Annie kicks off the episode with "It's Taur-Kosmos instead of Taurspace! We Greek bitches! There's gonna be olives as far as the eye can see!"
** This leads to the realization that if the planet is a Mediterrannean environment, it's gonna be warm, so they should all be in togas.
** Aelfgifu opts for something closer to Spartan fashion, but not full tits-out like usual. Rio claims their normal outfit is already good ''and'' already has tits out, but the others demand Artie have his tits out in a different way.
** And of course as soon as they land, every minotaur around clocks them as tourists.
-->'''Annie:''' We were never gonna fit in anyway so we might as well have fun and look cute.
* After being around the big, beefy minotaur men for all of five minutes Artie seeks out a few bottles of oil. Then Rio is disappointed to find out it's fish oil, not olive oil.
* Aelfgifu's greeting to a group of other off-worlders. is a hilariously awkward "how do you do, fellow star-sailors?"
** Alexi names the titular Brimothy because kit couldn't get their name generator open fast enough.
* The titular Brimothy is
[[AC: Episode 95: The Legend of Brimothy Pepys]]
* Annie kicks off the episode with "It's Taur-Kosmos instead of Taurspace! We Greek bitches! There's gonna be olives as far as the eye can see!"
** This leads to the realization that if the planet is a Mediterrannean environment, it's gonna be warm, so they should all be in togas.
** Aelfgifu opts for something closer to Spartan fashion, but not full tits-out like usual. Rio claims their normal outfit is already good ''and'' already has tits out, but the others demand Artie have his tits out in a different way.
** And of course as soon as they land, every minotaur around clocks them as tourists.
-->'''Annie:''' We were never gonna fit in anyway so we might as well have fun and look cute.
* After being around the big, beefy minotaur men for all of five minutes Artie seeks out a few bottles of oil. Then Rio is disappointed to find out it's fish oil, not olive oil.
* Aelfgifu's greeting to a group of other off-worlders. is a hilariously awkward "how do you do, fellow star-sailors?"
** Alexi names the titular Brimothy because kit couldn't get their name generator open fast enough.
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Changed line(s) 2476 (click to see context) from:
[[folder: Iolara (episodes 84-present)]]
to:
[[folder: Iolara (episodes 84-present)]]84-91)]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Taphos (episodes 92-Present)]]
[[folder: Taphos (episodes 92-Present)]]
Changed line(s) 2706 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, you're wasting my words. [[MotorMouth SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain]]''byyyyeeee''!
to:
-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, summer here - you're wasting my words. [[MotorMouth SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain]]''byyyyeeee''!
Changed line(s) 2712 (click to see context) from:
to:
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' As far as I know, everywhere we go has one important spot, and we park in the important spot and go do the adventure.
** She's the vindicated when Captain Bondar states there really is only one port on Taphos.
* Aelfgifu finds out that the atmosphere on the ship could eventually go bad and starts worrying that it's going to happen ''right now''. Jyll and Bondar have to convince her that she's safe and she doesn't need to start holding her breath because they already calculate their routes to keep things fresh.
* Jyll wonders why the Cult of the World Eater would be interested in a backwater, low-tech planet like Taphos - which just happens to be populated by minotaurs.
-->'''Wyn:''' Maybe they like big, beefy cow-men?\\
'''Jyl:''' I mean...whomst among us.\\
'''Wyn:''' Whomst among us would callt hem guilty in a court of law?
* Jyll establishes a gameplan for when they reach Taphos: Cacophony will handle whatever info Thazita passes on, Aelfgifu will track down the Cult activity, Jyll will commune with the local deities, and Artie will establish dominance by punching the biggest guy in the snout. Artie says he'll only do so after seeing how hot he is.
** After this is settled, Maq declares they get to the next scene via star-wipe (complete with sparkly sound effect).
* The Kestrel needs to go back to Cabalspace before they go to Taur-Kosmos because there's no direct Phlogiston current between the spheres. But Lachlan doesn't even bother trying to port in Biancarda - he just pulls in, whips a shitty, and drives away again. Aelfgifu flips the planet the bird as they fly away.
* The players are unprepared for the in-universe Calendar to roll over to...1990.
-->'''Kit:''' 1989 was the year Spelljammer came out.\\
'''Rio:''' Because you're a fuckin' nerd? Is that what you're a saying? You're a fuckin' goddamn nerd?\\
'''Kit:''' I've been building up to this joke for four years.\\
'''Rio:''' It took you four years to turn a whole calendar year?\\
'''Kit:''' You started in June of last year, it took me four years to go six months!
** Annie's just delighted that Kit is using the in-universe calendar to track when they hit the New Year following Birthinox. Kit asks for a pop of confetti sound effect (Jake obliges) and Alexi confirms she heard it in her head.
* Jyll volunteers to help Finn in the kitchen, but he usually ends up kicking her out with a cutting board and a knife.
-->'''Kit:''' He's like an Italian grandmonther, but he's tiny and a lizard.
* Wyn is worried she might get in trouble for picking up Thazita's package for Cacophony as herself. Jyll asks for the worst-case scenario.
-->'''Wyn:''' They see right through my disguise, recognize me as actually the person who pretends to be Cacophony, and they declare me Enemy Number One, Thazita decides she's going to hunt me down (actually that's very attractive), we become enemies, there's a lot of fighting where she throws magic at me and I've got my sword out and I'm like "No! No baby! Don't!"\\
'''Jyll:''' Do you like, corner her and do you tip the sword under her chin and lift her up to look her in the eyes?\\
'''Wyn:''' No, I should. And then we make out!\\
'''Jyll:''' Uh-huh. And that's the worst case scenario?\\
'''Wyn:''' My mind might've gotten distracted in the panic there.\\
'''Jyll:''' You are a little gay, yeah.
** Wyn confirms that this is also the best-case scenario.
* Nap Squad tries to pressure Lachlan into joining them and turning into a big dog for them to cuddle with. He points out that Aelfgifu has a bag that makes dogs, but Aelfgifu bemoans that there's only a 1/8 chance of dog and it's usually not sleepy because it just came into existence. She also doesn't want to constantly use it to try and get one.
-->'''Alefgifu:''' "Welcome to existence Rat Mercer! You're not the animal I was looking for, time to go back into the void." I don't wanna do that.
** He relents and turns into a swamp wolf for them. Jyll walks up to see this and is genuinely considering joining before walking away.
** She's the vindicated when Captain Bondar states there really is only one port on Taphos.
* Aelfgifu finds out that the atmosphere on the ship could eventually go bad and starts worrying that it's going to happen ''right now''. Jyll and Bondar have to convince her that she's safe and she doesn't need to start holding her breath because they already calculate their routes to keep things fresh.
* Jyll wonders why the Cult of the World Eater would be interested in a backwater, low-tech planet like Taphos - which just happens to be populated by minotaurs.
-->'''Wyn:''' Maybe they like big, beefy cow-men?\\
'''Jyl:''' I mean...whomst among us.\\
'''Wyn:''' Whomst among us would callt hem guilty in a court of law?
* Jyll establishes a gameplan for when they reach Taphos: Cacophony will handle whatever info Thazita passes on, Aelfgifu will track down the Cult activity, Jyll will commune with the local deities, and Artie will establish dominance by punching the biggest guy in the snout. Artie says he'll only do so after seeing how hot he is.
** After this is settled, Maq declares they get to the next scene via star-wipe (complete with sparkly sound effect).
* The Kestrel needs to go back to Cabalspace before they go to Taur-Kosmos because there's no direct Phlogiston current between the spheres. But Lachlan doesn't even bother trying to port in Biancarda - he just pulls in, whips a shitty, and drives away again. Aelfgifu flips the planet the bird as they fly away.
* The players are unprepared for the in-universe Calendar to roll over to...1990.
-->'''Kit:''' 1989 was the year Spelljammer came out.\\
'''Rio:''' Because you're a fuckin' nerd? Is that what you're a saying? You're a fuckin' goddamn nerd?\\
'''Kit:''' I've been building up to this joke for four years.\\
'''Rio:''' It took you four years to turn a whole calendar year?\\
'''Kit:''' You started in June of last year, it took me four years to go six months!
** Annie's just delighted that Kit is using the in-universe calendar to track when they hit the New Year following Birthinox. Kit asks for a pop of confetti sound effect (Jake obliges) and Alexi confirms she heard it in her head.
* Jyll volunteers to help Finn in the kitchen, but he usually ends up kicking her out with a cutting board and a knife.
-->'''Kit:''' He's like an Italian grandmonther, but he's tiny and a lizard.
* Wyn is worried she might get in trouble for picking up Thazita's package for Cacophony as herself. Jyll asks for the worst-case scenario.
-->'''Wyn:''' They see right through my disguise, recognize me as actually the person who pretends to be Cacophony, and they declare me Enemy Number One, Thazita decides she's going to hunt me down (actually that's very attractive), we become enemies, there's a lot of fighting where she throws magic at me and I've got my sword out and I'm like "No! No baby! Don't!"\\
'''Jyll:''' Do you like, corner her and do you tip the sword under her chin and lift her up to look her in the eyes?\\
'''Wyn:''' No, I should. And then we make out!\\
'''Jyll:''' Uh-huh. And that's the worst case scenario?\\
'''Wyn:''' My mind might've gotten distracted in the panic there.\\
'''Jyll:''' You are a little gay, yeah.
** Wyn confirms that this is also the best-case scenario.
* Nap Squad tries to pressure Lachlan into joining them and turning into a big dog for them to cuddle with. He points out that Aelfgifu has a bag that makes dogs, but Aelfgifu bemoans that there's only a 1/8 chance of dog and it's usually not sleepy because it just came into existence. She also doesn't want to constantly use it to try and get one.
-->'''Alefgifu:''' "Welcome to existence Rat Mercer! You're not the animal I was looking for, time to go back into the void." I don't wanna do that.
** He relents and turns into a swamp wolf for them. Jyll walks up to see this and is genuinely considering joining before walking away.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
[[AC: Episode 94: A Bag That Makes Dogs]]
* Wyn's wearing a sweater that just says "this girl loves Halloween"!
* Jylliana asks Wyn if she told Thazita which port they're headed to on Taphos, and then the whole group wonder if any of the places they've been to have more than one port...or more than one important spot for that matter.
* Wyn's wearing a sweater that just says "this girl loves Halloween"!
* Jylliana asks Wyn if she told Thazita which port they're headed to on Taphos, and then the whole group wonder if any of the places they've been to have more than one port...or more than one important spot for that matter.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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Changed line(s) 2722 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: [=TargMargs Part 1 - The Virgin Dracula=]]]
to:
[[AC: [=TargMargs [=TargMargs=] Part 1 - The Virgin Dracula=]]]Dracula]]
Changed line(s) 2745,2746 (click to see context) from:
* Everyone partakes in an unidentified unicorn-juice cereal that causes wild magic surges. Aelfgifu will be struck with bees next time she rolls. Jyll does too and turns into a masc-presenting version of herself named "Gyll". Annie has to take notes on how they determine what he looks like so Rio can draw him later, which end up reading "fade-cut, floppy locks, Idris Elba jawline, chonk in the middle but wrestle dorito, hot and beefy".
** When Rio sees Gyll his first reaction is "is this what cereal does?"
** When Rio sees Gyll his first reaction is "is this what cereal does?"
to:
* Everyone partakes in an unidentified unicorn-juice cereal that causes wild magic surges. Aelfgifu will be struck with bees next time she rolls. Jyll does too and turns into a masc-presenting version of herself named "Gyll". Annie has to take notes on how they determine what he looks like so Rio can draw him later, which end up reading "fade-cut, floppy locks, Idris Elba jawline, chonk in the middle but wrestle dorito, hot and beefy".
** When Rio seesGyll Gyll, since he didn't notice when the party started drinking the juice, his first reaction is "is this what cereal does?"
** When Rio sees
Added DiffLines:
[[AC: [=TargMargs=] Part 2 - Boot and Rally]]
* Cacophony finds a selection of D-pop - Dohwar Pop. It's just like K-pop but because of their stubby legs and flipper arms the dance choreography is just a lot of butt-shaking.
** There's a cardboard cutout of Creator/BrendanFraser from ''[[Film/TheMummy1999 The Mummy]]'' in this department where an employee has to stand guard and keep people from trying to fondle and kiss it. There's a line you can get into to stand and oggle it. Artie panics because he's never seen cardboard before and let's out a horrified cry of "oh no he lost his ass!"
** Maq describes a wall of TVs where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
** They leave the department because Gyll gets startled by Daisy and launches a bunch of magic missiles, setting the department on fire.
* Cacophony takes a sip of the unicorn juice and turns into a sexy potted fern.
* Next is the kitchen implements section, filled with all manner of weirdly specific tools that everyone feels like they need.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' They've got a nut curler! I didn't even know you could curl a nut.\\
'''Cacophony:''' This one cuts meat into the shape of leaves. It says it's perfect for vegetarians! I don't think that's how that works.
** There's also a sign in wine-mom font that says "Taste". Cue a solid minute of everyone saying "taste" in different inflections.
** Aelfgifu finds a selection of one-cup coffee maker flavors, ranging from normal to "frozen food bag - dripping", "[[ItTastesLikeFeet coffee pot]]", and "[[TastesLikePurple ennui]]".
** Artie grabs a melon baller that was clearly designed for someone with tentacles. Made of diamond.
* By the time they enter the next department they all turn into barnyard animals - Artie is a sheep, Aelfgifu is a chicken, Gyll is a goat, Wyn is a cow (she stops being a plant briefly), and Daisy is a donkey. And during this time, there's an off-key cover of "The Girl from Ipanema" playing begind Gyll. And also actually playing in the podcast.
** The next department is the pharmacy - specifically, the sex toy section. Aelfgifu suggests a variety of flavoured lubricants like the one that makes you nostalgic, the one that makes you forgive your mome, and the one that feels like [[RunningGag ennui]].
** Chicken!Aelfgifu ends up getting a vibrating egg.
** Multiple rolls on multiple tables result in basically everyone dancing to their own off-key background music, Artie having a giant sheep head, and Gyll trying to confess his love to Aeflgifu.
* The last department they arrive at is Party Supplies. Disturbingly there's more lube here than in the sex toy section, as well as specific "blood buckets" and banners that say "Congratulations on your Bereavement Leave". And balls of grass.
** Aelfgifu wraps herself in streamers in an attempt to "blend in". Artie similarly covers himself in mardi gras beads.
** Cacophony opens up an "Inflatable Sweet Sixteen Party", which includes a bunch of inflatable teens that tell you how pretty you look and then mutter mean things behind your back.
** Gyll, drunk and heating up, ends up summoning a storm and shattering the skylight above the group. It also brings down a lightning bolt, creating yet another fire.
* This entire time the group have kept running into the same cat multiple times (sometimes at the same time). As they hit maximum shenanigans all the cats meld together to turn into security guards. And then the chief of security bursts forth from the centre of the planet - a minotaur in a uniform.
* The escape portion of the game includes the one-time option per player to "[[TitleDrop Boot and Rally]]", where you throw up on another player and gross out everyone including security. You can get bonus points if everyone vomits on the same player.
** Maq immediately vomits on Aelfgifu.
** The party warp back to seasonal, which is still on fire. Gyll blocks security by hucking shopping carts towards them, and the nearby shitty teens are inspired to start their own shopping cart derby.
-->'''Annie:''' I've started a biker gang.
** Artie vomits on Aelfgifu, and notes that it smells kinda fishy. It distracts the cat guards.
** Cacophony declares herself "The Shelf Walker" and thinks she does a perfect backflip onto the top shelf before running from security. In reality she just kind of crashes up there and starts crawling on her needs before getting up and kicking random stuff off.
* After their daring escape, Daisy dismisses themself back inside because their break is over.
* Artie's loot at the end: a chocolate egg filled with bees, a giant flatscreen tv that only plays ''Turbo'', a diamond interchangeable melon-head baller, a blood pressure arm band, and Mardi Gras margarita beads.
** Lawnmower is inspired and they all make a ''Turbo'' costume. The players then discuss the entire crew of The Kestrel becoming obsessed with ''Turbo'' the more they watch it.
** Maq explains that the joke from earlier is based on a ten-hour flight from China she was one on where the man in front of her watched ''Ant-Man'' six times and then, forty-five minutes before they landed, switched to ''Turbo''.
** Alexi didn't know ''Turbo'' was a real movie until they looked it up following that story.
* Cacophony finds a selection of D-pop - Dohwar Pop. It's just like K-pop but because of their stubby legs and flipper arms the dance choreography is just a lot of butt-shaking.
** There's a cardboard cutout of Creator/BrendanFraser from ''[[Film/TheMummy1999 The Mummy]]'' in this department where an employee has to stand guard and keep people from trying to fondle and kiss it. There's a line you can get into to stand and oggle it. Artie panics because he's never seen cardboard before and let's out a horrified cry of "oh no he lost his ass!"
** Maq describes a wall of TVs where they're all playing ''Film/AntMan'', except for one that's playing ''Film/{{Turbo}}''.
** They leave the department because Gyll gets startled by Daisy and launches a bunch of magic missiles, setting the department on fire.
* Cacophony takes a sip of the unicorn juice and turns into a sexy potted fern.
* Next is the kitchen implements section, filled with all manner of weirdly specific tools that everyone feels like they need.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' They've got a nut curler! I didn't even know you could curl a nut.\\
'''Cacophony:''' This one cuts meat into the shape of leaves. It says it's perfect for vegetarians! I don't think that's how that works.
** There's also a sign in wine-mom font that says "Taste". Cue a solid minute of everyone saying "taste" in different inflections.
** Aelfgifu finds a selection of one-cup coffee maker flavors, ranging from normal to "frozen food bag - dripping", "[[ItTastesLikeFeet coffee pot]]", and "[[TastesLikePurple ennui]]".
** Artie grabs a melon baller that was clearly designed for someone with tentacles. Made of diamond.
* By the time they enter the next department they all turn into barnyard animals - Artie is a sheep, Aelfgifu is a chicken, Gyll is a goat, Wyn is a cow (she stops being a plant briefly), and Daisy is a donkey. And during this time, there's an off-key cover of "The Girl from Ipanema" playing begind Gyll. And also actually playing in the podcast.
** The next department is the pharmacy - specifically, the sex toy section. Aelfgifu suggests a variety of flavoured lubricants like the one that makes you nostalgic, the one that makes you forgive your mome, and the one that feels like [[RunningGag ennui]].
** Chicken!Aelfgifu ends up getting a vibrating egg.
** Multiple rolls on multiple tables result in basically everyone dancing to their own off-key background music, Artie having a giant sheep head, and Gyll trying to confess his love to Aeflgifu.
* The last department they arrive at is Party Supplies. Disturbingly there's more lube here than in the sex toy section, as well as specific "blood buckets" and banners that say "Congratulations on your Bereavement Leave". And balls of grass.
** Aelfgifu wraps herself in streamers in an attempt to "blend in". Artie similarly covers himself in mardi gras beads.
** Cacophony opens up an "Inflatable Sweet Sixteen Party", which includes a bunch of inflatable teens that tell you how pretty you look and then mutter mean things behind your back.
** Gyll, drunk and heating up, ends up summoning a storm and shattering the skylight above the group. It also brings down a lightning bolt, creating yet another fire.
* This entire time the group have kept running into the same cat multiple times (sometimes at the same time). As they hit maximum shenanigans all the cats meld together to turn into security guards. And then the chief of security bursts forth from the centre of the planet - a minotaur in a uniform.
* The escape portion of the game includes the one-time option per player to "[[TitleDrop Boot and Rally]]", where you throw up on another player and gross out everyone including security. You can get bonus points if everyone vomits on the same player.
** Maq immediately vomits on Aelfgifu.
** The party warp back to seasonal, which is still on fire. Gyll blocks security by hucking shopping carts towards them, and the nearby shitty teens are inspired to start their own shopping cart derby.
-->'''Annie:''' I've started a biker gang.
** Artie vomits on Aelfgifu, and notes that it smells kinda fishy. It distracts the cat guards.
** Cacophony declares herself "The Shelf Walker" and thinks she does a perfect backflip onto the top shelf before running from security. In reality she just kind of crashes up there and starts crawling on her needs before getting up and kicking random stuff off.
* After their daring escape, Daisy dismisses themself back inside because their break is over.
* Artie's loot at the end: a chocolate egg filled with bees, a giant flatscreen tv that only plays ''Turbo'', a diamond interchangeable melon-head baller, a blood pressure arm band, and Mardi Gras margarita beads.
** Lawnmower is inspired and they all make a ''Turbo'' costume. The players then discuss the entire crew of The Kestrel becoming obsessed with ''Turbo'' the more they watch it.
** Maq explains that the joke from earlier is based on a ten-hour flight from China she was one on where the man in front of her watched ''Ant-Man'' six times and then, forty-five minutes before they landed, switched to ''Turbo''.
** Alexi didn't know ''Turbo'' was a real movie until they looked it up following that story.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 2683 (click to see context) from:
to:
* After Aelfgifu's nightmare, Jyll offers to make her some tea, and Kit asks how she heats water. Fortunately Cacophony can use prestidigitation to accomplish it.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
Changed line(s) 2718,2721 (click to see context) from:
* After Aelfgifu's nightmare, Jyll offers to make her some tea, and Kit asks how she heats water. Fortunately Cacophony can use prestidigitation to accomplish it.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
to:
[[AC: [=TargMargs Part 1 - The Virgin Dracula=]]]
*
** It also takes place in a future after the crew of the Kestrel have had various other adventures like a BeachEpisode, a [[Main/FreakyFridayFlip body-swapping episode]], an episode where they [[FantasticVoyagePlot travel inside Mr. Herst's body]], a VerySpecialEpisode where they think Aelfgifu is dying from a terminal disease (but turns out to
** Alexi also suggests going to a Cat planet, with jokes quickly hitting both [[Film/Cats the film]] and [[Literature/WarriorCats the books]]. Then Maq suggest a plant where they're all on roller skates and [[Theatre/StarlightExpress also trains]], but it takes the others a minute to figure out what she's referencing.
* Annie suggests the red spheres inexplicably scattered across Targspace could be eggs, and the Super Hunter's Market is trying to reproduce.
* There's no DM, everyone runs the game, and everyone is "equally culpable for what is about to happen".
* Cacophony
-->'''Cacophony:''' People in this places don't get paid enough to
-->'''Kit:''' Good,
'''Aelfgifu:''' What is Everclear anyways?\\
'''Cacophony:''' It's disgusting.\\
'''Artie:''' I'm pretty sure...it's Windex.\\
'''Cacophony:''' I'm gonna make some Jungle Juice while we're here just so you know.
* The first aisle they end up in is the cereal aisle, and Alexi describes funny neogi mascot cereal. Count Neogula's Neogi-O's.
** They also see Azer (a dwarf from the plane of fire) communicating with his wife via orb-pondering to tell her that they don't have any pickle cereal.
* Annie describes Mr. Pib as "anti-soda". Rio elaborates that Mr. Pib tried to go toe-to-toe in medical school with Dr. Pepper before flunking out and becoming an accountant.
** Said soda was in a cart that a lady launched down the aisle.
-->'''Rio:''' Were the groceries in her cart?\\
'''Annie:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' And she chucked it because she saw chicken nuggets?\\
'''Annie:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' Are you sure ''she'' isn't drunk?\\
'''Annie:''' We are all here. At two am. In the Hunter's Market. Anything goes.
* Since the Targ is the size of a small planetoid, Alexi suggests one aisle is just a mile-long stretch filled with nothing but Red Delicious apples.
* Everyone partakes in an unidentified unicorn-juice cereal that causes wild magic surges. Aelfgifu will be struck with bees next time she rolls. Jyll does too and turns into a masc-presenting version of herself named "Gyll". Annie has to take notes on how they determine what he looks like so Rio can draw him later, which end up reading "fade-cut, floppy locks, Idris Elba jawline, chonk in the middle but wrestle dorito, hot and beefy".
** When Rio sees Gyll his first reaction is "is this what cereal does?"
* Maq sends everyone to the season department. Which season is it? ''All of them''. Christmas music is playing while plastic skeletons dangle around, fireworks are going off, rabbits are running around both alive and anatomically inaccurate skeleton homunculi, and there's a nativity play where a vampire stands in for Mary.
-->'''Annie:''' Quick point of order: if the baby space-elven christ's mother is a dracula and that's a virgin dracula, isn't that just [[TabletopGame/{{Ravenloft}} Strahd von Zarovich]]?\\
'''Alexi:'''
'''Rio:''' I don't understand this reference.\\
'''Annie:''' He's a horrible incel!
** Aelfgifu
** Maq tries to impress the goth teens in the department and, thanks to the wild magic table, sets off Fireball.
* Gyll gets buzzed and spies a goth plant person wearing a costume of a different plant, and pulls Aelfgifu over to flirt with them. This momentarily hits a speedbump when they realize they don't have a
** The plant, played by Maq, asks Aelfgifu if she wants to get high. Rio in the
** To ensure Aelfgifu can stay with the plant person ("Daisy") when they move on
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-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, you're wasting my words. SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain''byyyyeeee''!
to:
-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, you're wasting my words. SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain''byyyyeeee''![[MotorMouth SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain]]''byyyyeeee''!
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[[AC: Episode 93: Midwinter Birthinox]]
* While decorating, Aelfgifu hangs streamers on Lawnmower. She's also gotten secretive with gifts, so there are multiple floorboards across the ship that just have "DON'T" scrawled on them.
** She decides to program the magical Billy Bass to sing [[Music/LedZeppelin "that ah~ah~ah thunder song that Jyll likes"]].
* Jyll's gifts for Captain Bondar are some self-help books: ''How to Captain Friends and Influence Crewmembers'', ''The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Medium-Size Humanoids'', and ''Who Moved my Spelljammer?''
** Artie gets a kaleidoscope and is immediately enraptured by it.
* Aeflgifu gives Jyll the box with the fish and Jyll is...speechless.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Now I know what you're thinking. It's just an awesome fish. But there's more.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yes, that is what I was thinking.
** And then Jyll hears it sing and starts tearing up because it's terrible and she loves it.
-->'''Jyll (through happy tears):''' I'm never gonna turn it on again! How do I make it stop!\\
'''Cacophony:''' I don't think there's a way to make it stop but maybe bury it under some blankets?\\
'''Jyll:''' Thank you for this curse!
* The crew's been playing various board games throughout the day. Cacophony suggests [[TabletopGame/SettlersOfCatan Fantasy Catan]], much to everyone's chagrin.
* Artie gives everyone shells that were originally going to be coupons for a free blowjob, but Mr. Hurst told him not to. So now they're coupons to get chores done, as long as they're not too hard.
* Annie sings a version of "Christmas is Coming" altered for Birthinox, and it does include a line about the Crimson Abbess coming for you because "it's not Christmas unless there's a little bit of a threat."
* Aelfgifu tries to confess stuff to Jyll, but Jyll affirms that she'll be fine and that the gift-giving tradition was essentially invented as a reason to tell the Abbess and Bone-White Jacques they did something nice for each other. Which leads to Aelfgifu and Artie to realize that, like all religions, this one is just held together by bribes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Okay, guess I'm safe. Good to know I can keep doing bad things. ''*teleports away*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That's not the takeway!
* Jyll sends a Sending to Tuatha, and gets a reply.
-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, you're wasting my words. SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain''byyyyeeee''!
** She also sends one to Max, which just dissolves into angrish.
* While decorating, Aelfgifu hangs streamers on Lawnmower. She's also gotten secretive with gifts, so there are multiple floorboards across the ship that just have "DON'T" scrawled on them.
** She decides to program the magical Billy Bass to sing [[Music/LedZeppelin "that ah~ah~ah thunder song that Jyll likes"]].
* Jyll's gifts for Captain Bondar are some self-help books: ''How to Captain Friends and Influence Crewmembers'', ''The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Medium-Size Humanoids'', and ''Who Moved my Spelljammer?''
** Artie gets a kaleidoscope and is immediately enraptured by it.
* Aeflgifu gives Jyll the box with the fish and Jyll is...speechless.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Now I know what you're thinking. It's just an awesome fish. But there's more.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yes, that is what I was thinking.
** And then Jyll hears it sing and starts tearing up because it's terrible and she loves it.
-->'''Jyll (through happy tears):''' I'm never gonna turn it on again! How do I make it stop!\\
'''Cacophony:''' I don't think there's a way to make it stop but maybe bury it under some blankets?\\
'''Jyll:''' Thank you for this curse!
* The crew's been playing various board games throughout the day. Cacophony suggests [[TabletopGame/SettlersOfCatan Fantasy Catan]], much to everyone's chagrin.
* Artie gives everyone shells that were originally going to be coupons for a free blowjob, but Mr. Hurst told him not to. So now they're coupons to get chores done, as long as they're not too hard.
* Annie sings a version of "Christmas is Coming" altered for Birthinox, and it does include a line about the Crimson Abbess coming for you because "it's not Christmas unless there's a little bit of a threat."
* Aelfgifu tries to confess stuff to Jyll, but Jyll affirms that she'll be fine and that the gift-giving tradition was essentially invented as a reason to tell the Abbess and Bone-White Jacques they did something nice for each other. Which leads to Aelfgifu and Artie to realize that, like all religions, this one is just held together by bribes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Okay, guess I'm safe. Good to know I can keep doing bad things. ''*teleports away*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That's not the takeway!
* Jyll sends a Sending to Tuatha, and gets a reply.
-->'''Tuatha:''' Season's Greeting to you too. Hope it's - hmm? Jyll. From space? In my head. Magic, duh. It's summer, here, you're wasting my words. SorryaboutthatJyllhopeeverything'sgreatcan'twaittoseeyouagain''byyyyeeee''!
** She also sends one to Max, which just dissolves into angrish.
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* The stinger is Rio reading the description of the "Magic Longboat" becaue they find it inherently perverted. And proceeds to read it in a sext voice.
to:
* The stinger is Rio reading the description of the "Magic Longboat" Longbow" becaue they find it inherently perverted. And proceeds to read it in a sext voice.
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[[AC: Episode 92: Stardust and Quicksilver]]
* The debate over which library to visit, options including Port Meridian (Aelfgifu doesn't want to go because they may have noticed the book she stole), Biancarda (nobody knows if they're allowed back on the planet), the Gnometopia library (Aelfgifu only wants to visit because the gnomes seem "zany"), and the Seeker planet (which Cacophony nominates because her girlfriend is there).
* Artie, who normally hates work, is so paranoid about the gnome repairs that he volunteers to help Veli double-check on them.
-->'''Veli:''' Go through and check what materials they used to patch the hull. I wanna make sure none of it is ''alive''.
* Artie bursts into Aelfgifu's room when she wakes up screaming, then Rio pauses to determine whether Artie sleeps in the nude. He doesn't.
* The debate over which library to visit, options including Port Meridian (Aelfgifu doesn't want to go because they may have noticed the book she stole), Biancarda (nobody knows if they're allowed back on the planet), the Gnometopia library (Aelfgifu only wants to visit because the gnomes seem "zany"), and the Seeker planet (which Cacophony nominates because her girlfriend is there).
* Artie, who normally hates work, is so paranoid about the gnome repairs that he volunteers to help Veli double-check on them.
-->'''Veli:''' Go through and check what materials they used to patch the hull. I wanna make sure none of it is ''alive''.
* Artie bursts into Aelfgifu's room when she wakes up screaming, then Rio pauses to determine whether Artie sleeps in the nude. He doesn't.
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* After Aelfgifu's nightmare, Jyll offers to make her some tea, and Kit asks how she heats water. Fortunately Cacophony can use prestidigitation to accomplish it.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
-->'''Kit:''' Good, I was concerned we were gonna have another fire whoopsie.\\
'''Alexi:''' That's just waht Aelfgifu needs, have a terrible world-ending dream and then light the ship on fire.
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[[AC: Episode 91: Nap Squad Paradise]]
* Jylliana is concerned when the gnomes start trying to repair the Kestrel, especially if they attempt to add things that spout fire.
* Aelfgifu goes to check out the gnome ship, "Conditional Pacifist".
-->'''Alexi:''' I wanna learn about this...flying...device.\\
'''Annie:''' You hesitate to call it a shuttlecraft.\\
'''Alexi:''' My mind was going to 'abomination" and that felt like it was too far so I was rolling it back.
** Aelfgifu investigates their kitchen and is disappionted that it's not filled with candy.
* Atra's response to Cacophony telling her she admires her is "thank you. I'm not going to mate with you." In the background, Alefgifu is just jumping up and down on a bed.
** Cacophony also asks if there's anything else the crew can do to help, such as sending them supplies. Atra asks if she has the Sending spell.
-->'''Cacophony:''' Yes, actually. ''*{{beat}}*'' Well no I don't, but yes in a way! Yes! I have a cell phone. So to speak.\\
'''Annie:''' You have a cleric friend.\\
'''Cacophony:''' I have a cleric friend! Who can be bribed. I can draw sexy pictures of her boyfriend!
* Upon learning that the nearest port to repair the Kestrel is Biancarda, Jyll let's out a moan of pure misery. And again when Captain Bondar confirms that they'd probably have to stop back in Senagora too.
** The Gnome Captain Sophie Coppertop overhears this.
-->'''Sophie:''' You didn't have much fun on Biancarda, huh?\\
'''Jyll:''' Uhhhhhhh no!\\
'''Sophie:''' They don't like us much there either. You set one spaceport on fire and ''everybody's'' got a problem with you all of a sudden.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah there was fire actually.\\
'''Sophie:''' Really?\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah.\\
'''Sophie:''' Maybe that's the trick to not getting out of places - no arson.
** Rio points out that while the crew weren't the arsonists, the players were.
* Captain Sophie is only captain this week - next week is Davey. She thinks it's not very fair that Bondar is the captain all the time, unlike the gnomes who rotate and do the jobs that need to be done.
* Aelfgifu shows up wearing an expression that's half she did something that might get her in trouble and half very pleased with herself. Jyll is immediately suspicious because last time she saw that expression on her she had stolen a book and gave it to a goat and an owl.
-->'''Jyll:''' Did you break anything?\\
'''Alexi:''' Did I break any of the beds?\\
'''Kit:''' No, you did not.\\
'''Jyll:''' Did you steal anything?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' No, I couldn't find the candy.
** Aelfgifu ''really'' wants a reason for the party to visit Gnometopia even though they don't have any issues with undead and don't have any connections with the Star Wardens. When Sophie says they have an expansive library with a badly organized filing system, Aelfgifu thinks they should go just for Dewey's sake. Jyll is tempted, but also points out Dewey would probably abandon them to take control of it. Cacophony wonders if they're obligated to tell him about it.
-->'''Kit:''' Are you gonna ''White Fang'' Dewey?\\
'''Annie:''' You have to be with your own books!
* Jyll tells the others that they might have to return to Biancarda, and everyone groans just like she did. Except Artie, because the most important thing he remembers from then is getting laid twice.
** Jyll reminds them that the rest of the crew is probably still mad at them for getting the ship impounded, and Aelfgifu asks her if she thinks it was the madest they've ever been. Jyll looks at her pointedly and reminds her of how she almost blew everyone up a few days ago.
** Since the Conditional Pacifist has a flamethrower attached, Aelfgifu asks Sophie if the gnomes have any advice on using fire in the Phlogiston.
-->'''Sophie:''' Cross your fingers and pray.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' To who?\\
'''Sophie:''' Anyone who's listening.
* Rio has to ask if Lachlan is still a horse, and Kit points out that no, because Jyll did kiss him earlier and that would be weird if he was.
* Alexi is tickled by Atra casting Legend Lore, since she's an NPC and it boils down to Kit casting a spell to ask Kit a question.
* Turns out Artie wasn't far off about one of the Gnomish gods - there is a Davey Dave, the god of snacks.
* Cacophony finds Nap Squad asleep on the pile of gnome beds and wakes them up with Unearthly Chorus. The gnomes jam out to it, and when she finishes one of them asks for "Freebird". She obliges.
* Maq accidentally says "The Kwestwel" when saying they're returning to the ship, and everyone roasts her.
-->'''Alexi:''' Typo in the group chat!\\
'''Kit:''' When the Kestrel gets blown up we'll replace it with the Kwestwel.
* Jylliana is concerned when the gnomes start trying to repair the Kestrel, especially if they attempt to add things that spout fire.
* Aelfgifu goes to check out the gnome ship, "Conditional Pacifist".
-->'''Alexi:''' I wanna learn about this...flying...device.\\
'''Annie:''' You hesitate to call it a shuttlecraft.\\
'''Alexi:''' My mind was going to 'abomination" and that felt like it was too far so I was rolling it back.
** Aelfgifu investigates their kitchen and is disappionted that it's not filled with candy.
* Atra's response to Cacophony telling her she admires her is "thank you. I'm not going to mate with you." In the background, Alefgifu is just jumping up and down on a bed.
** Cacophony also asks if there's anything else the crew can do to help, such as sending them supplies. Atra asks if she has the Sending spell.
-->'''Cacophony:''' Yes, actually. ''*{{beat}}*'' Well no I don't, but yes in a way! Yes! I have a cell phone. So to speak.\\
'''Annie:''' You have a cleric friend.\\
'''Cacophony:''' I have a cleric friend! Who can be bribed. I can draw sexy pictures of her boyfriend!
* Upon learning that the nearest port to repair the Kestrel is Biancarda, Jyll let's out a moan of pure misery. And again when Captain Bondar confirms that they'd probably have to stop back in Senagora too.
** The Gnome Captain Sophie Coppertop overhears this.
-->'''Sophie:''' You didn't have much fun on Biancarda, huh?\\
'''Jyll:''' Uhhhhhhh no!\\
'''Sophie:''' They don't like us much there either. You set one spaceport on fire and ''everybody's'' got a problem with you all of a sudden.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah there was fire actually.\\
'''Sophie:''' Really?\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah.\\
'''Sophie:''' Maybe that's the trick to not getting out of places - no arson.
** Rio points out that while the crew weren't the arsonists, the players were.
* Captain Sophie is only captain this week - next week is Davey. She thinks it's not very fair that Bondar is the captain all the time, unlike the gnomes who rotate and do the jobs that need to be done.
* Aelfgifu shows up wearing an expression that's half she did something that might get her in trouble and half very pleased with herself. Jyll is immediately suspicious because last time she saw that expression on her she had stolen a book and gave it to a goat and an owl.
-->'''Jyll:''' Did you break anything?\\
'''Alexi:''' Did I break any of the beds?\\
'''Kit:''' No, you did not.\\
'''Jyll:''' Did you steal anything?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' No, I couldn't find the candy.
** Aelfgifu ''really'' wants a reason for the party to visit Gnometopia even though they don't have any issues with undead and don't have any connections with the Star Wardens. When Sophie says they have an expansive library with a badly organized filing system, Aelfgifu thinks they should go just for Dewey's sake. Jyll is tempted, but also points out Dewey would probably abandon them to take control of it. Cacophony wonders if they're obligated to tell him about it.
-->'''Kit:''' Are you gonna ''White Fang'' Dewey?\\
'''Annie:''' You have to be with your own books!
* Jyll tells the others that they might have to return to Biancarda, and everyone groans just like she did. Except Artie, because the most important thing he remembers from then is getting laid twice.
** Jyll reminds them that the rest of the crew is probably still mad at them for getting the ship impounded, and Aelfgifu asks her if she thinks it was the madest they've ever been. Jyll looks at her pointedly and reminds her of how she almost blew everyone up a few days ago.
** Since the Conditional Pacifist has a flamethrower attached, Aelfgifu asks Sophie if the gnomes have any advice on using fire in the Phlogiston.
-->'''Sophie:''' Cross your fingers and pray.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' To who?\\
'''Sophie:''' Anyone who's listening.
* Rio has to ask if Lachlan is still a horse, and Kit points out that no, because Jyll did kiss him earlier and that would be weird if he was.
* Alexi is tickled by Atra casting Legend Lore, since she's an NPC and it boils down to Kit casting a spell to ask Kit a question.
* Turns out Artie wasn't far off about one of the Gnomish gods - there is a Davey Dave, the god of snacks.
* Cacophony finds Nap Squad asleep on the pile of gnome beds and wakes them up with Unearthly Chorus. The gnomes jam out to it, and when she finishes one of them asks for "Freebird". She obliges.
* Maq accidentally says "The Kwestwel" when saying they're returning to the ship, and everyone roasts her.
-->'''Alexi:''' Typo in the group chat!\\
'''Kit:''' When the Kestrel gets blown up we'll replace it with the Kwestwel.
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** Rio suggests the Space Fun Helmet is prestidigitated into a glow-in-the-dark top bun to match the beach theme. Kit calls them out for avoiding the consequences of the Space Fun Helmet (wee-woo), so Annie suggests the counterpoint is that it also comes with Raybans.
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[[AC: Episode 90: "The Big Sauron-Lookin' Mother F#$%er"]]
* The party roll dexterity saving throws to jump off the ship and fight the surviving undead. Cacophony and Aelfgifu do well, but Artie and Jylliana immediately faceplant in the sand with a 5 and 4 respectively.
* Rio starts talking in a baby voice about making a constitution saving throw. Any asks why, and they say it's because they were...ordering pie.
* After Jyll fails repeatedly to damage the titular Big Sauron-Lookin' Mother Fucker becaue of his thick armour, Kit comments that she's starting to discover what it's like for someone to attack her.
* After the battle, the party meets delegates from the gnomish ship - and four horse-sized giant space hamsters.
* The stinger is Rio reading the description of the "Magic Longboat" becaue they find it inherently perverted. And proceeds to read it in a sext voice.
-->'''Rio:''' A ''thick shaft'' of laminated wood is ''bound'' by a taught string, capable of launching ''deadly arrows'' at ''long'' distances.
* The party roll dexterity saving throws to jump off the ship and fight the surviving undead. Cacophony and Aelfgifu do well, but Artie and Jylliana immediately faceplant in the sand with a 5 and 4 respectively.
* Rio starts talking in a baby voice about making a constitution saving throw. Any asks why, and they say it's because they were...ordering pie.
* After Jyll fails repeatedly to damage the titular Big Sauron-Lookin' Mother Fucker becaue of his thick armour, Kit comments that she's starting to discover what it's like for someone to attack her.
* After the battle, the party meets delegates from the gnomish ship - and four horse-sized giant space hamsters.
* The stinger is Rio reading the description of the "Magic Longboat" becaue they find it inherently perverted. And proceeds to read it in a sext voice.
-->'''Rio:''' A ''thick shaft'' of laminated wood is ''bound'' by a taught string, capable of launching ''deadly arrows'' at ''long'' distances.
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[[AC: Episode 89: Up the Aft]]
* Aelfgifu returns and is delighted to hear that they're still defending babies, but is on the fence about how she feels about a real child.
-->'''Jylliana:''' We need to save all these babies so Cacophony can score with the lizard.\\
'''Alexi:''' Man, when does aelfgifu get to score with the lizard...\\
'''Kit:''' Depends on how well this session goes!
* Annie complains about "Prestidigitation" having too many syllables, but Alexi compares it to [[Series/DoctorWho Raxacoricofallapatorius]] as a word that nerds can pull out to show off.
* The players wonder what would happen if Artie's miss with his Tank Top means the cannon ball is now just flying through wildspace, and Kit confirms that it would continue moving until it hit the inside of the crystal sphere or something else along the way. Alexi suggests having a percentile die that would cause you to get hit by a stray shot from a completely unrelated battle in wildspace, and Kit casually mentions they're gonna write that down for later.
* The enemy ship also fails their roll to hit and a cannonball gets wedged into the side of the ship without doing damage. It's immediately declared "enrichment for Lawnmower".
** Kit then confirms that on the "crewmate casualty table", they did not include any mascot characters.
* The skeletons on the enemy ship are said to be constantly making xylophone noises.
* Alexi constantly asks if anyone is shooting the enemy ship "up the aft", enough for Annie to tell Jake to write it down as the episode title. When Artie fires the ballista up the aft and doesn't roll much damage, he bemoans that it was "just the tip".
** Cacophony tells Artie to stop aiming up the aft and rather the center of mass, or rather, "the part that's the most thicc". Queue Rio asking Kit what part of the ship is the most dummy thicc.
* The gnome cavalry arrive! In a vaguely-phallic ship that has a ''flamethrower'' attached to the front. After Aelfgifu's little mix up earlier, everyone is pretty shocked at the gall.
* Aelfgifu returns and is delighted to hear that they're still defending babies, but is on the fence about how she feels about a real child.
-->'''Jylliana:''' We need to save all these babies so Cacophony can score with the lizard.\\
'''Alexi:''' Man, when does aelfgifu get to score with the lizard...\\
'''Kit:''' Depends on how well this session goes!
* Annie complains about "Prestidigitation" having too many syllables, but Alexi compares it to [[Series/DoctorWho Raxacoricofallapatorius]] as a word that nerds can pull out to show off.
* The players wonder what would happen if Artie's miss with his Tank Top means the cannon ball is now just flying through wildspace, and Kit confirms that it would continue moving until it hit the inside of the crystal sphere or something else along the way. Alexi suggests having a percentile die that would cause you to get hit by a stray shot from a completely unrelated battle in wildspace, and Kit casually mentions they're gonna write that down for later.
* The enemy ship also fails their roll to hit and a cannonball gets wedged into the side of the ship without doing damage. It's immediately declared "enrichment for Lawnmower".
** Kit then confirms that on the "crewmate casualty table", they did not include any mascot characters.
* The skeletons on the enemy ship are said to be constantly making xylophone noises.
* Alexi constantly asks if anyone is shooting the enemy ship "up the aft", enough for Annie to tell Jake to write it down as the episode title. When Artie fires the ballista up the aft and doesn't roll much damage, he bemoans that it was "just the tip".
** Cacophony tells Artie to stop aiming up the aft and rather the center of mass, or rather, "the part that's the most thicc". Queue Rio asking Kit what part of the ship is the most dummy thicc.
* The gnome cavalry arrive! In a vaguely-phallic ship that has a ''flamethrower'' attached to the front. After Aelfgifu's little mix up earlier, everyone is pretty shocked at the gall.
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[[AC: Episode 88: Salmon Pockets]]
* Cacophony prepares to decapitate the corpse attached to a lifejammer helm before realizing that she only has a rapier and doesn't think that will help.
* Annie is very curious as to whether Lachlan has a horse brain, or a people brain, or a people brain with a horse hindbrain in the back just constantly thinking "oats. oats. oats." Kit confirms the last option, and mentions him occasionally getting distracted by the surrounding vegetation.
* Cacophony tries to seduce Atra, which starts by winning over Kev. She tries playing a soft, melodic tune, and Annie hums the VideoGame/SuperMarioBros1 theme.
* While Jylliana and Atra discuss their different outlooks on being clerics, Atra casually mentions a gnome cleric she met who couldn't get in contact with the gnome God of the Dead, who's named Jim Jim Jim.
-->'''Jylliana:''' [[Film/MuppetTreasureIsland Jim Jim Jimmy-Jim Jim Jim Jim]]?\\
'''Atra:''' No, just the three.
** The gnome god of nutrition is Yum Yum Yum, and apparently their cleric had no issues reaching that one.
** Atra's response to Jyll wanting to speak with Ethla is an ''extremely'' casual "oh, is that all?" followed by her telling Jyll that planeshifting spells can be cast by powerful wizards, demons, and some horses. Specific horses though - probably not Lachlan.
-->'''Rio:''' Remember that horses will sometimes suck on wooden fences and then swallow so much air that they die.\\
'''Annie:''' Maybe that's like seeing God!
* When asked if Artie helping set up traps is sexy, Rio claims that Artie does everything sexily. Jyll disagrees, as she's seen him sleep. He spread eagles.
** He's also broing out with Lachlan, or rather, Artie is infodumping about gnomes while Lachlan is a horse and can't respond.
-->'''Artie:''' And they were like "Yum Yum Yum, give me some gum!" And they did a thing and they had gum? And it's weird, you're not supposed to swallow it, they said that it would stay in me for ten years or something. I did it anyways, and you just chew it and it makes bubbles. But it's also sticky, don't get it in your hair, I had to pray to the god of peanut butter who was...what was his name...\\
[-'''Annie:''' Nut Nut Nut?-]\\
'''Artie:''' Dave Dave Dave. The god of peanut butter. To get it out of my hair.
** Kit and Annie then remind us that Artie already thinks gnomes bowl with babies so everything he's saying may or may not be canon. But he did roll a natural 20 on history.
** Lachlan's attempts to tune the conversation out lead to the horse brain taking over and him rooting around in Artie's pockets for snacks. They're full of salmon. It's how he keeps his hair so shiny.
* Annie is briefly grossed out by Artie enjoying an extremely humid swampland, until Kit and Rio point out that he lives underwater.
-->'''Kit:''' His normal tolerance for humidity is ''100%''.
* Kit compares the hatchery to the Muttart Conservatory, an actual pyramid-shaped greenhouse in Edmonton. That one has a corpse flower, but the hatchery does not, so if you smell a rotting corpse here it's probably a rotting corpse.
* Once preperations are complete, Jyll tells Lachlan that he doesn't need to be a horse anymore. His horsey shrugs imply that he'd rather ride it out so that he doesn't need to interact too much with Artie.
** Jyll also checks to see if his horse form has little tusks, and squees when it does.
** When he does change back, everyone is distracted by the fact that the token Kit is using is the [[https://twitter.com/vriosart/status/1105619998221832192 sexy art]] Rio drew for him three years ago.
** Lachlan is very put out when Atra assumes he can only turn into a horse.
-->'''Rio:''' Don't objectify me in my horse body!\\
** Other things he can turn into include a crocodile (badass) or a raccoon (which isn't combat handy, but he sometimes turns into one when he's having trouble sleeping). Jyll freaks out about how adorable that is, and Atra looks like she's reconsidering asking him to stay with her as the last line.
** Artie asks if he can turn into a tiger because they're very soft and cudly, and when he says he can Artie celebrates how awesome future nap squads are going to be.
* Cacophony prepares to decapitate the corpse attached to a lifejammer helm before realizing that she only has a rapier and doesn't think that will help.
* Annie is very curious as to whether Lachlan has a horse brain, or a people brain, or a people brain with a horse hindbrain in the back just constantly thinking "oats. oats. oats." Kit confirms the last option, and mentions him occasionally getting distracted by the surrounding vegetation.
* Cacophony tries to seduce Atra, which starts by winning over Kev. She tries playing a soft, melodic tune, and Annie hums the VideoGame/SuperMarioBros1 theme.
* While Jylliana and Atra discuss their different outlooks on being clerics, Atra casually mentions a gnome cleric she met who couldn't get in contact with the gnome God of the Dead, who's named Jim Jim Jim.
-->'''Jylliana:''' [[Film/MuppetTreasureIsland Jim Jim Jimmy-Jim Jim Jim Jim]]?\\
'''Atra:''' No, just the three.
** The gnome god of nutrition is Yum Yum Yum, and apparently their cleric had no issues reaching that one.
** Atra's response to Jyll wanting to speak with Ethla is an ''extremely'' casual "oh, is that all?" followed by her telling Jyll that planeshifting spells can be cast by powerful wizards, demons, and some horses. Specific horses though - probably not Lachlan.
-->'''Rio:''' Remember that horses will sometimes suck on wooden fences and then swallow so much air that they die.\\
'''Annie:''' Maybe that's like seeing God!
* When asked if Artie helping set up traps is sexy, Rio claims that Artie does everything sexily. Jyll disagrees, as she's seen him sleep. He spread eagles.
** He's also broing out with Lachlan, or rather, Artie is infodumping about gnomes while Lachlan is a horse and can't respond.
-->'''Artie:''' And they were like "Yum Yum Yum, give me some gum!" And they did a thing and they had gum? And it's weird, you're not supposed to swallow it, they said that it would stay in me for ten years or something. I did it anyways, and you just chew it and it makes bubbles. But it's also sticky, don't get it in your hair, I had to pray to the god of peanut butter who was...what was his name...\\
[-'''Annie:''' Nut Nut Nut?-]\\
'''Artie:''' Dave Dave Dave. The god of peanut butter. To get it out of my hair.
** Kit and Annie then remind us that Artie already thinks gnomes bowl with babies so everything he's saying may or may not be canon. But he did roll a natural 20 on history.
** Lachlan's attempts to tune the conversation out lead to the horse brain taking over and him rooting around in Artie's pockets for snacks. They're full of salmon. It's how he keeps his hair so shiny.
* Annie is briefly grossed out by Artie enjoying an extremely humid swampland, until Kit and Rio point out that he lives underwater.
-->'''Kit:''' His normal tolerance for humidity is ''100%''.
* Kit compares the hatchery to the Muttart Conservatory, an actual pyramid-shaped greenhouse in Edmonton. That one has a corpse flower, but the hatchery does not, so if you smell a rotting corpse here it's probably a rotting corpse.
* Once preperations are complete, Jyll tells Lachlan that he doesn't need to be a horse anymore. His horsey shrugs imply that he'd rather ride it out so that he doesn't need to interact too much with Artie.
** Jyll also checks to see if his horse form has little tusks, and squees when it does.
** When he does change back, everyone is distracted by the fact that the token Kit is using is the [[https://twitter.com/vriosart/status/1105619998221832192 sexy art]] Rio drew for him three years ago.
** Lachlan is very put out when Atra assumes he can only turn into a horse.
-->'''Rio:''' Don't objectify me in my horse body!\\
** Other things he can turn into include a crocodile (badass) or a raccoon (which isn't combat handy, but he sometimes turns into one when he's having trouble sleeping). Jyll freaks out about how adorable that is, and Atra looks like she's reconsidering asking him to stay with her as the last line.
** Artie asks if he can turn into a tiger because they're very soft and cudly, and when he says he can Artie celebrates how awesome future nap squads are going to be.
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* In the stinger, Maq accidentally starts speaking with a Russian accent while saying "incubator".
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[[AC: Episode 87: Chronic Florida]]
* Maq and Annie's reactions to finding out that Atra the hot Lizardfolk woman has a thick hide and weilds a mace likely made from a human skull are "that's so hot" and "she's so chonky" respectively.
* Maq compares Cacophony keeping an eye on Atra while she checks on the eggs to dogs looking at each other while they're pooping to make sure they're not attacked. This is how Annie finds out why her dog stares at her while taking a dump.
-->'''Annie:''' I just thought it was weird that she kept making direct eye contact, like "Look! I'm doing it!"
* Cacophony is a little blunt in her attempt to introduce herself to the baby lizardfolk, and blames it on having to speak in Draconic.
-->'''Kit:''' It's like Klingon or German, there's no gentle way to say it...it's one of those languages where saying the word "butterfly" is enough to kill a butterfly.
* Atra confirms there can be complications with their ships arriving on time. Or landing correctly. Or landing at all. When asked to elaborate she just says, with no facial expression, "gnomes."
** Artie rolls to see if he has a history with gnomes and gets a ''nat 20''.
-->'''Kit:''' You have had the uh...the distinct fortune (or perhaps mistfortune) to cross paths directly with a gnomish ship before. Gnomish ships are...you actually now, looking over the support buildings, you figure it's probably built by gnomes beause gnomish ships are built very much along the same lines. It's like somebody started building a spelljamming ship and got bored halfway through. They've usually got all sorts of different attachments that nobody knows what it does, they usually get expanded over time as people have new ideas - sometimes covering up the landing gear, meaning the ship ''can't land'' the way it used to. They claim to have invented their own style of helm? But there's a strong suspicion among the pirates of your acquaintence that they just took a regular helm and bolted extra parts onto it. There's usually at least three or four hamster wheels attached to them. The main thing you want to keep in mind when facing off against a gnomish ship, though, is that in terms of armament you got ''no idea'' what's going on. They could have no weapons at all, they could have shit you've never seen before in your life and destroy your ship instantly! It's a mess. They're completely, entirely unpredictable, and no one you know has successfully been able to predict what an encounter with a gnomish ship is gonna be like.
** What Artie gets out of this is "oh shit! You let gnomes touch your babies? They use their babies for cannon fodder!" He claims he once saw a gnome use a baby as a bowling ball. The others are pretty sure that last part was a fever dream.
** He also claims gnomes invented their own liquor (soda pop) and claim it cures gout.
-->'''Cacophony:''' Well if I don't know what gout is and Artie doesn't have it, maybe it does cure gout!
* Jylliana assesses a situation, where the party might be able to set up bottleneck of traps to fight off the approaching undead forces, and compares it to that old folk tale about [[VideoGame/PlantsVsZombies the plants and the zombies]].
** Atra asks them to help drag a heavy tree over to help with the bottlenecking. Artie demands to do it on his own as a weird macho thing.
-->'''Jyll:''' You wanna use some simple tools to lever that or something?\\
'''Artie:''' ''I am a simple tool!''\\
'''Jyll:''' Well that is true.
** Rio rolls a ''nat one''. Annie almost spits out her coffee.
* Cacophony tells Lachlan and Bondar that they're in a huge swamp biome, and suggests they do a costume change first because "it would be very sexy for Jyll".
* Upon seeing Artie (still slipped in the mud from that nat one), Lachlan suggests wildshaping into a horse to help move things along. Jyll agrees, and is suddenly faced with the prospect of boyfriend-horse.
-->'''Jyll:''' Do you - how does he - do you attach - do you attach ropes? Do you - do you - do you attach ropes to the - to the - to the boy who's a horse now? What's - ''*{{angrish}}*''\\
'''Kit:''' This is a naked horse, by the way, this is a horse with no tack, you are gonna have to attach ropes to the horse because Lachlan has no hands.\\
'''Artie:''' Lachlan when I said I wanted to see you naked I didn't mean like this.\\
'''Cacophony:''' Curl your arms around his horsey neck Jyll.\\
'''Jyll:''' Holdonyouwantmeto''what''? Hold on you - ''what?!''\\
'''Artie:''' Why are landhorses so weird.\\
''*Jyll starts hyperventilating*''
** Jyll shorts out before she can actually attach the rope to anything, so Artie ends up taking the rope. There's an expanded version of this moment [[https://twitter.com/anniezard/status/1511499758455693317?s=20&t=sSHAzEd6NeH41UHZ-fcvgQ here]].
* Maq and Annie's reactions to finding out that Atra the hot Lizardfolk woman has a thick hide and weilds a mace likely made from a human skull are "that's so hot" and "she's so chonky" respectively.
* Maq compares Cacophony keeping an eye on Atra while she checks on the eggs to dogs looking at each other while they're pooping to make sure they're not attacked. This is how Annie finds out why her dog stares at her while taking a dump.
-->'''Annie:''' I just thought it was weird that she kept making direct eye contact, like "Look! I'm doing it!"
* Cacophony is a little blunt in her attempt to introduce herself to the baby lizardfolk, and blames it on having to speak in Draconic.
-->'''Kit:''' It's like Klingon or German, there's no gentle way to say it...it's one of those languages where saying the word "butterfly" is enough to kill a butterfly.
* Atra confirms there can be complications with their ships arriving on time. Or landing correctly. Or landing at all. When asked to elaborate she just says, with no facial expression, "gnomes."
** Artie rolls to see if he has a history with gnomes and gets a ''nat 20''.
-->'''Kit:''' You have had the uh...the distinct fortune (or perhaps mistfortune) to cross paths directly with a gnomish ship before. Gnomish ships are...you actually now, looking over the support buildings, you figure it's probably built by gnomes beause gnomish ships are built very much along the same lines. It's like somebody started building a spelljamming ship and got bored halfway through. They've usually got all sorts of different attachments that nobody knows what it does, they usually get expanded over time as people have new ideas - sometimes covering up the landing gear, meaning the ship ''can't land'' the way it used to. They claim to have invented their own style of helm? But there's a strong suspicion among the pirates of your acquaintence that they just took a regular helm and bolted extra parts onto it. There's usually at least three or four hamster wheels attached to them. The main thing you want to keep in mind when facing off against a gnomish ship, though, is that in terms of armament you got ''no idea'' what's going on. They could have no weapons at all, they could have shit you've never seen before in your life and destroy your ship instantly! It's a mess. They're completely, entirely unpredictable, and no one you know has successfully been able to predict what an encounter with a gnomish ship is gonna be like.
** What Artie gets out of this is "oh shit! You let gnomes touch your babies? They use their babies for cannon fodder!" He claims he once saw a gnome use a baby as a bowling ball. The others are pretty sure that last part was a fever dream.
** He also claims gnomes invented their own liquor (soda pop) and claim it cures gout.
-->'''Cacophony:''' Well if I don't know what gout is and Artie doesn't have it, maybe it does cure gout!
* Jylliana assesses a situation, where the party might be able to set up bottleneck of traps to fight off the approaching undead forces, and compares it to that old folk tale about [[VideoGame/PlantsVsZombies the plants and the zombies]].
** Atra asks them to help drag a heavy tree over to help with the bottlenecking. Artie demands to do it on his own as a weird macho thing.
-->'''Jyll:''' You wanna use some simple tools to lever that or something?\\
'''Artie:''' ''I am a simple tool!''\\
'''Jyll:''' Well that is true.
** Rio rolls a ''nat one''. Annie almost spits out her coffee.
* Cacophony tells Lachlan and Bondar that they're in a huge swamp biome, and suggests they do a costume change first because "it would be very sexy for Jyll".
* Upon seeing Artie (still slipped in the mud from that nat one), Lachlan suggests wildshaping into a horse to help move things along. Jyll agrees, and is suddenly faced with the prospect of boyfriend-horse.
-->'''Jyll:''' Do you - how does he - do you attach - do you attach ropes? Do you - do you - do you attach ropes to the - to the - to the boy who's a horse now? What's - ''*{{angrish}}*''\\
'''Kit:''' This is a naked horse, by the way, this is a horse with no tack, you are gonna have to attach ropes to the horse because Lachlan has no hands.\\
'''Artie:''' Lachlan when I said I wanted to see you naked I didn't mean like this.\\
'''Cacophony:''' Curl your arms around his horsey neck Jyll.\\
'''Jyll:''' Holdonyouwantmeto''what''? Hold on you - ''what?!''\\
'''Artie:''' Why are landhorses so weird.\\
''*Jyll starts hyperventilating*''
** Jyll shorts out before she can actually attach the rope to anything, so Artie ends up taking the rope. There's an expanded version of this moment [[https://twitter.com/anniezard/status/1511499758455693317?s=20&t=sSHAzEd6NeH41UHZ-fcvgQ here]].
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[[AC: Episode 86: Just Like Thor]]
* When coming across a floating eyeball spying on them, Cacophony and Artie try to jump up and touch it. Cacophony succeeds, and happily declares that it feels just like a peeled grape.
* Maq quietly encourages Annie to cast "Destructive Wrath" with her ''one'' fifth-level spell splot because it would be cool. She also refers to it as "Destructive Wife".
* Artie and Cacophony try to kill the undead commander in front of Atra the hot Lizardfolk woman to impress her. Cacophony succeeds, and Artie pouts "bros before kill steals".
** Then it turns out the Lizardfolk woman wasn't even looking in that direction.
* When coming across a floating eyeball spying on them, Cacophony and Artie try to jump up and touch it. Cacophony succeeds, and happily declares that it feels just like a peeled grape.
* Maq quietly encourages Annie to cast "Destructive Wrath" with her ''one'' fifth-level spell splot because it would be cool. She also refers to it as "Destructive Wife".
* Artie and Cacophony try to kill the undead commander in front of Atra the hot Lizardfolk woman to impress her. Cacophony succeeds, and Artie pouts "bros before kill steals".
** Then it turns out the Lizardfolk woman wasn't even looking in that direction.
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* When discussing how to contact Iolara, Aelfgifu asks if there's any kind of "hello to all ships" horn. Kit counters "no, there's no 'hewwo' button".
** Kit describes a large crystal pyramid being visible on the surface. Alexi compares it to the Bass Pro Pyramid, but Kit was thinking of the Muttart Conservatory. Rio chalks it up to "two different types of gays".
* In the time since then, Xilwyn has turned into Cacophony clad in an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini. Unrelated, as the Kestrel gets closer they see a dead [[SpaceWhale Kindori]] that has been converted into a Spelljammer.
-->'''Rio:''' This is vaguely sea-themed, should I roll history?\\
'''Kit:''' On the Kindori?\\
'''Alexi:''' On the bikini?\\
'''Rio:''' Yes, on the bikini, I wanna know where it's from - no! On the Kindori.
* Aelfgifu pops out her Bag of Tricks and gets a rat, who she hides in her bosom until Kit suggests the name "Ratt Mercer".
** Kit describes a large crystal pyramid being visible on the surface. Alexi compares it to the Bass Pro Pyramid, but Kit was thinking of the Muttart Conservatory. Rio chalks it up to "two different types of gays".
* In the time since then, Xilwyn has turned into Cacophony clad in an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini. Unrelated, as the Kestrel gets closer they see a dead [[SpaceWhale Kindori]] that has been converted into a Spelljammer.
-->'''Rio:''' This is vaguely sea-themed, should I roll history?\\
'''Kit:''' On the Kindori?\\
'''Alexi:''' On the bikini?\\
'''Rio:''' Yes, on the bikini, I wanna know where it's from - no! On the Kindori.
* Aelfgifu pops out her Bag of Tricks and gets a rat, who she hides in her bosom until Kit suggests the name "Ratt Mercer".
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[[AC: Episode 85: Potato, Potota]]
* Jylliana is still really curious about Artie and Max's relationship.
-->'''Artie:''' He's my best friend! Do you not take your best friend's head to your bosom and softly caress his face while he yells at you "Arturos, get off me, let me go, I don't need this"?
** Xilwyn then tells Aelfgifu she can cradle her head in her bosom if she wants. She's willing to do it for Jyll too, but figures she'd go to Lachlan first.
* The back and forth between Jyll and Max get Artie so concerned he leaves to stress eat. He was in the middle of a mani-pedi, so Finn chases after him to make sure he doesn't get nail laquer over all the food.
** Jyll complains about wanting to simultaneously punch his face and make out with it a little.
-->'''Xilwyn:''' [[Music/FlorenceAndTheMachine A kiss with a fist is better than none.]]\\
'''Kit:''' I was thinking "[[https://heart.tumblr.com/post/111125434569/zygoats-dont-look-at-my-fucking-boner-when-we don't look at my boner when we fight]]", but okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I'm sorry, excuse me, what?\\
'''Annie:''' I don't know what that's referring to.\\
'''Kit:''' It's referring to a shitpost.\\
'''Rio:''' Do I have to roll for that now?\\
'''Xilwyn:''' Yes.\\
'''Kit:''' That's a character decision only you can make.
* Upon reaching Hearthspace, aka "The Furnace", the incredible heat of the area prompts Xilwyn to tear off her sweater and sweats to reveal a croptop and short shorts underneath. She then casts a spell to turn Artie's outfit into the same thing.
* Jylliana is still really curious about Artie and Max's relationship.
-->'''Artie:''' He's my best friend! Do you not take your best friend's head to your bosom and softly caress his face while he yells at you "Arturos, get off me, let me go, I don't need this"?
** Xilwyn then tells Aelfgifu she can cradle her head in her bosom if she wants. She's willing to do it for Jyll too, but figures she'd go to Lachlan first.
* The back and forth between Jyll and Max get Artie so concerned he leaves to stress eat. He was in the middle of a mani-pedi, so Finn chases after him to make sure he doesn't get nail laquer over all the food.
** Jyll complains about wanting to simultaneously punch his face and make out with it a little.
-->'''Xilwyn:''' [[Music/FlorenceAndTheMachine A kiss with a fist is better than none.]]\\
'''Kit:''' I was thinking "[[https://heart.tumblr.com/post/111125434569/zygoats-dont-look-at-my-fucking-boner-when-we don't look at my boner when we fight]]", but okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I'm sorry, excuse me, what?\\
'''Annie:''' I don't know what that's referring to.\\
'''Kit:''' It's referring to a shitpost.\\
'''Rio:''' Do I have to roll for that now?\\
'''Xilwyn:''' Yes.\\
'''Kit:''' That's a character decision only you can make.
* Upon reaching Hearthspace, aka "The Furnace", the incredible heat of the area prompts Xilwyn to tear off her sweater and sweats to reveal a croptop and short shorts underneath. She then casts a spell to turn Artie's outfit into the same thing.
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[[folder: Biancarda (63-83)]]
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[[folder: Biancarda (63-83)]]
(episodes 63-83)]]
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[[folder: Iolara (84-present)]]
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[[folder: Iolara (84-present)]](episodes 84-present)]]
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Changed line(s) 1930,1931 (click to see context) from:
[[folder: Biancarda (63-present)]]
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[[folder: Biancarda (63-present)]]
(63-83)]]
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[[folder: Iolara]]
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[[folder: Iolara]]Iolara (84-present)]]
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[[AC: Episode 83: Free Bones]]
* Aelfgifu tries to get back on Kara's good side by leaving her a sandwich - specifically balancing it on her head.
* Jylliana bemoans being arrested twice by this point, and Kara tells her that once she gets the hat trick she gets a special trophy. This leads into Jyll asking those present who ''hasn't'' been to prison. No one puts their hand up, including Lachlan (prompting Jyll to mutter "of good, not a deal breaker" under her breath).
** Aelfgifu prompts Breadsticks to put her hand up, then realizes she doesn't know what her history was before they came together. Trying to telekinetically ask her about prison gets a sequence resembling the intro of the "Music/{{Telephone}}" music video.
* While Jyll ponders the eggs for her brunch, Aelfgifu asks her if she thinks she came from fish or something else.
-->'''Jylliana:''' Egg - fish - well they're not fish eggs, I can tell you that for free.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Not the kind of fish that we know.\\
'''Artie:''' There are other kinds of fish?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean there's you.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh my god there ''is'' me! I don't lay eggs.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' No, wait, how did we end up here again!
* When trying to determine where to go next, one of the options is Iolara and its lizardfolk hatcheries. Cacophony votes for that one, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial for completely non-horny reasons]].
* Jyll doesn't want Aelfgifu to come with her to the library because it didn't go well last time. Kit counters that last time Aelfgifu got away with stealing a book, so it categorically went well from her perspective.
-->'''Rio:''' The devil on Aelfgifu's shoulder goes "'''you could steal another book. The last one was so good.'''"\\
'''Jyll:''' Aelfgifu, I am asking you, as a friend, to not steal any more library books -\\
'''Rio:''' "'''Lie to her!'''"\\
'''Jyll:''' - because - shut up - I would be disappointed in you.\\
'''Rio:''' You can't here this voice! This is the voice inside Aelfgifu's head! "'''Lie to her!'''"
* Cacophony decides to stay on the ship to make sure Aelfgifu doesn't get into trouble.
-->'''Alexi:''' Smash cut to Aelfgifu prying a panel off the ship to hide a fish in it!\\
'''Kit:''' Veli is helping.
* Attempting to Boolean search with a kenku librarian.
* Pausing the plot to calculate how long they've spent on this godforsaken planet, Annie determines that from landing on Biancarda to leaving they spent nine months real-time there.
-->'''Rio:''' That's enough time for a baby!\\
'''Annie:''' The baby is a dead vampire. Congratulations.
* Aelfgifu disappears to the Feywild, then reappears with the ability to speak out of Breadsticks' mouth.
-->'''Breadsticks!Aelfgifu:''' Haha! I can annoy you anywhere you are now!
** They determine that she uses this to play a lot of pranks on Artie. Artie's not smart enough to prank back, but when she runs out of Misty Steps Artie just noogies her.
* Lachlan has to admit that, while he's glad Jyll didn't accept Countess Aguilar's to join a crime syndicate, evil!Jylliana would be pretty hot.
-->'''Jyll:'''I mean, with armor - I think if you go evil you're kinda required to get really slutty about it.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Yeah but armor can be slutty, you know? I mean look at Artie.
** He also says getting arrested is like initiation for spell sailors, and it comes with a shameless kind of shame. Like what raccoons have. Jyll can only question how much time he's spent around raccoons. And then, since he's a druid, she asks him how often he ''turned into'' one.
** Jyll admits that she's more used to possums than raccoons, since the ecosystem around Stormhaven is mostly possums and giant spiders. "I think planets are weird."
* Aelfgifu starts a dream journal to keep track of her growing Warlock powers.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Now I can go to the Ethereal Plane, and that's kind of whack when you think about it.
'''Kit:''' That's where ghosts are!\\
'''Alexi:''' She starts writign down her dreams because it's the only thing she can think of to try and figure out more about...why can she go to the ghost plane now?\\
'''Rio:''' Because you're WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom!\\
'''Kit:''' Pact of the Danny Phantom!\\
'''Alexi:''' The Phanny-Pact?\\
'''Kit:''' Sure.
* Artie spent the journey back to the phlogiston doing pull-ups off the side of the ship. When Jyll asks him if he wants to tell Max anything during her Sendings:
-->'''Artie:''' Oh my god! Tell Max that I'm doing mad reps!\\
'''Jyll:''' You - you want me to tell him that you're doing "mad reps".\\
'''Artie:''' Tell him that I'm so yolked right now. My tits are fantastic.\\
'''Jyll:''' One sec...and that your tits are what?\\
'''Artie:''' Fan-''tastic''. Also how's he been? I haven't heard from him in so long! My god. Did he find his sister? Does he need me? Can we make out again?\\
'''Jyll:''' You did what?\\
'''Artie:''' Huh?\\
'''Jyll:''' When did you make out?\\
'''Artie:''' When did ''you'' make out?\\
'''Jyll:''' What.''*{{beat}}*'' [--Yesterday--]. When did you make out with Max?!
'''Artie:''' Anyways -\\
'''Jyll:''' ''How was it?''\\
'''Kit:''' Everything about this interaction is agonizing, I love it.
** Kit and Rio wonder about whether Artie and/or Max would need to roll to see how the makeout would be and go through athletics and sleight of hand before landing on performance. Artie gets a fifteen, Max gets a ''nat 1''. Cue a chorus of "oh no!"
-->'''Kit:''' It was kind of a golden retriever situation.\\
'''Artie:''' He needs the practice.\\
'''Jyll:''' Oh. So he was bad at it?\\
'''Artie:''' Sometimes you get princes like me, and then sometimes you get princes who act like me and have never been me. Or with me.
** The Sending is thus: "Artie says 'I'm doing mad reps and getting so yolked and my tits are fantastic also how have you been'...I hope you're not dead."
** Max's curt reply prompts Artie to hope that it's because he finally found someone who'll make out with him. Someone who won't go "okay, let's stop, I need to go find someone else."
** When Jyll is clearly torn about how to feel about the prospect of Max mving on, Artie offers to make out with her. She tries to pass, but he flexes and tries rolling persuasion. Jyll finally shuts him down by telling him making out with him is like making out with a little brother.
-->'''Artie:''' I'm older than you?\\
'''Jyll:''' And littler.\\
'''Artie:''' Fuck you! ''*leaves*''\\
'''Jyll:''' Aaand successfully deflected ''that'' question.
Added DiffLines:
[[folder: Iolara]]
[[AC: Episode 84: A Fire Whoopsie]]
* Artie rolled a d20 to see if he's getting swole by the time they reach the phlogiston. He got a 5, which means no.
* Maq needs to talk to Mr. Herst and asks if he's working on a house of cards. Kit says no, he's doing performance reviews. Maq mutters that that's boring before everyone panics that they may not be getting an annual raise.
** Herst says many gnomes are highly intelligent, but emotionally childlike. Artie thinks that sounds like him, sparking a debate with Jyll over how smart he is, how childlike he is, and how smart children are.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Don't write this down Mr. Herst, we have great team dynamics.
** Aelfgifu is worried that Mr. Herst is both their dad and their boss, and are more worried about him being disappointed in them than doing a bad job.
-->'''Jyll:''' I don't know if I could handle that!\\
'''Artie:''' You just sit on his bed, naked, until he comes in, and then you change that review.\\
'''Jyll:''' ...what have you done with Mr. Herst Artie.\\
'''Artie:''' Nothing yet.\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't like this. That's our dad!
** Then Xilwyn has to explain the three types of dads: the one who had sex with their mother. Then there's dad, someone who's older than you but gives off a dad energy and takes care of you and gives you advice (the party has a lot of those), and then there's daddy which is what Artie is probably most familiar with (at which point Jyll leaves).
*** Aelfgifu tries to elaborate saying that sometimes the first kind can be the second kind too, but not necessarily, and that you can pick any two. Kit quickly jumps in to say no, you can't. And meanwhile, Artie goes cross-eyed.
** Xilwyn adds there's also uncle energy and wine aunt energy, with Cacophony embodying the latter and Xilwyn the former. Aelfgifu's touchstone for wine aunts is a fox that used to get high on mushrooms, give her playful bites, and steal her cheese. Veli walks by and says the fox probably just had rabies.
-->'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu do you have rabies?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Do I? How would I know?\\
'''Kit:''' If you had rabies you would be dead by now.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I think rabies is a myth.\\
'''Kit:''' We would not be six months deep in this campaign if you had rabies.\\
'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu, do you have super-rabies?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Is that why all the space people wanna know my deal? Is that why I have magic powers, is it the super rabies?\\
'''Jylliana:''' No honey that's a warlock pact. It's kind of like super rabies.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Feywild super rabies! I went to the Feywild, I got bit my aunt fox and got super rabies, and now I can make fire in my hands. Like this!\\
'''Rio:''' [[OhCrap Wait a minute]]. [[MoodWhiplash Did you just set a fire]] [[TooDumbToLive while we were in the phlogiston?]]\\
'''Kit:''' [[StuffBlowingUp Aelfgifu I'm gonna need to roll some stuff real quick]].
* Aelfgifu and everyone within twenty feet of her take 26 fire damage. ''That's the whole boat''.
-->'''Alexi:''' Oh my performance review's gonna be so bad!
** She then turns invisible the moment she realizes she's screwed up, declaring that she intends to avoid the consequences of her actions. But the moment her invisibility runs out, Jylliana traps her in a crate and tells her that she will be going door-to-door apologizing to every single crewmember.
* After the apology tour, Xilwyn asks if this will have an effect on their performance review, and Captain Bondar states that the nature of their arrangement means it would be very difficult for them to fire the party after that - in a tone implying that such arrangement is the ''only'' thing keeping them on the ship. Also, Aelfgifu is disappointed that she didn't burn the review papers.
* Jyll calls a team meeting to hash out a gameplan for Iolara, since Biancarda had a lot of issues.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Artie the last planet blew, right? We were like super bad at everything?\\
'''Artie:''' Oh yeah I got to blow - oh wait. Huh?
** After reassuring each other and their abilities and that they are actually capable of handling things usually, they determine their flaw on Biancarda was assuming they knew things. So they decide that once they land on Iolara they'll assume they know nothing.
* Jyll seeks out Lachlan and finds him [[Franchise/MassEffect calibrating]].
** She asks him if he can talk to animals, and thinks it'd be fun for Aelfgifu for them to compare notes on which animals are rudest (it's swans).
-->'''Lachlan:''' Sure, I can't think of a way that'll go catastrophically wrong. She's not gonna set me on fire, right?\\
'''Jylliana:''' We're working on that, I guess.\\
'''Lachlan:''' You know the fact that you didn't just say no is concerning in and of itself.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Do you really think I have that much faith in my ability to control Aelfgifu's actions?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Fair point.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Are you kidding me? If she was an animal she'd be a goose.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Oh god she would, wouldn't she.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Uh-huh. She would cause problems on purpose, it's her favorite thing.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Terrorizing the entire ship.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Honk. That'd be her, day-in, day-out. Honk.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Just plap-plap-plapping around the ship.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Tell me I'm wrong?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Aw geez, this is gonna haunt me now.
** Jyll also asks if he retains his faculties as an animal, bringing up her own point of reference when she got polymorphed in Castle Kronos, and casually mentioning that it wasn't as weird as running around in a sexy devil costume the past few days. Cacophony shouts an apology from across the ship, and Lachlan has blue screened at the mention of the costume.
-->'''Rio:''' Roll for boner check.
** When Rio overhears that Lachlan can turn into a wolf, Artie declares him the newest member of nap squad so that he and Aelfgifu can take naps while snuggled up to him. He rolls a dirt 20 on intimidation, which means Lachlan can't refuse now.
[[/folder]]
[[AC: Episode 84: A Fire Whoopsie]]
* Artie rolled a d20 to see if he's getting swole by the time they reach the phlogiston. He got a 5, which means no.
* Maq needs to talk to Mr. Herst and asks if he's working on a house of cards. Kit says no, he's doing performance reviews. Maq mutters that that's boring before everyone panics that they may not be getting an annual raise.
** Herst says many gnomes are highly intelligent, but emotionally childlike. Artie thinks that sounds like him, sparking a debate with Jyll over how smart he is, how childlike he is, and how smart children are.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Don't write this down Mr. Herst, we have great team dynamics.
** Aelfgifu is worried that Mr. Herst is both their dad and their boss, and are more worried about him being disappointed in them than doing a bad job.
-->'''Jyll:''' I don't know if I could handle that!\\
'''Artie:''' You just sit on his bed, naked, until he comes in, and then you change that review.\\
'''Jyll:''' ...what have you done with Mr. Herst Artie.\\
'''Artie:''' Nothing yet.\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't like this. That's our dad!
** Then Xilwyn has to explain the three types of dads: the one who had sex with their mother. Then there's dad, someone who's older than you but gives off a dad energy and takes care of you and gives you advice (the party has a lot of those), and then there's daddy which is what Artie is probably most familiar with (at which point Jyll leaves).
*** Aelfgifu tries to elaborate saying that sometimes the first kind can be the second kind too, but not necessarily, and that you can pick any two. Kit quickly jumps in to say no, you can't. And meanwhile, Artie goes cross-eyed.
** Xilwyn adds there's also uncle energy and wine aunt energy, with Cacophony embodying the latter and Xilwyn the former. Aelfgifu's touchstone for wine aunts is a fox that used to get high on mushrooms, give her playful bites, and steal her cheese. Veli walks by and says the fox probably just had rabies.
-->'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu do you have rabies?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Do I? How would I know?\\
'''Kit:''' If you had rabies you would be dead by now.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I think rabies is a myth.\\
'''Kit:''' We would not be six months deep in this campaign if you had rabies.\\
'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu, do you have super-rabies?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Is that why all the space people wanna know my deal? Is that why I have magic powers, is it the super rabies?\\
'''Jylliana:''' No honey that's a warlock pact. It's kind of like super rabies.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Feywild super rabies! I went to the Feywild, I got bit my aunt fox and got super rabies, and now I can make fire in my hands. Like this!\\
'''Rio:''' [[OhCrap Wait a minute]]. [[MoodWhiplash Did you just set a fire]] [[TooDumbToLive while we were in the phlogiston?]]\\
'''Kit:''' [[StuffBlowingUp Aelfgifu I'm gonna need to roll some stuff real quick]].
* Aelfgifu and everyone within twenty feet of her take 26 fire damage. ''That's the whole boat''.
-->'''Alexi:''' Oh my performance review's gonna be so bad!
** She then turns invisible the moment she realizes she's screwed up, declaring that she intends to avoid the consequences of her actions. But the moment her invisibility runs out, Jylliana traps her in a crate and tells her that she will be going door-to-door apologizing to every single crewmember.
* After the apology tour, Xilwyn asks if this will have an effect on their performance review, and Captain Bondar states that the nature of their arrangement means it would be very difficult for them to fire the party after that - in a tone implying that such arrangement is the ''only'' thing keeping them on the ship. Also, Aelfgifu is disappointed that she didn't burn the review papers.
* Jyll calls a team meeting to hash out a gameplan for Iolara, since Biancarda had a lot of issues.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Artie the last planet blew, right? We were like super bad at everything?\\
'''Artie:''' Oh yeah I got to blow - oh wait. Huh?
** After reassuring each other and their abilities and that they are actually capable of handling things usually, they determine their flaw on Biancarda was assuming they knew things. So they decide that once they land on Iolara they'll assume they know nothing.
* Jyll seeks out Lachlan and finds him [[Franchise/MassEffect calibrating]].
** She asks him if he can talk to animals, and thinks it'd be fun for Aelfgifu for them to compare notes on which animals are rudest (it's swans).
-->'''Lachlan:''' Sure, I can't think of a way that'll go catastrophically wrong. She's not gonna set me on fire, right?\\
'''Jylliana:''' We're working on that, I guess.\\
'''Lachlan:''' You know the fact that you didn't just say no is concerning in and of itself.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Do you really think I have that much faith in my ability to control Aelfgifu's actions?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Fair point.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Are you kidding me? If she was an animal she'd be a goose.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Oh god she would, wouldn't she.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Uh-huh. She would cause problems on purpose, it's her favorite thing.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Terrorizing the entire ship.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Honk. That'd be her, day-in, day-out. Honk.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Just plap-plap-plapping around the ship.\\
'''Jylliana:''' Tell me I'm wrong?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Aw geez, this is gonna haunt me now.
** Jyll also asks if he retains his faculties as an animal, bringing up her own point of reference when she got polymorphed in Castle Kronos, and casually mentioning that it wasn't as weird as running around in a sexy devil costume the past few days. Cacophony shouts an apology from across the ship, and Lachlan has blue screened at the mention of the costume.
-->'''Rio:''' Roll for boner check.
** When Rio overhears that Lachlan can turn into a wolf, Artie declares him the newest member of nap squad so that he and Aelfgifu can take naps while snuggled up to him. He rolls a dirt 20 on intimidation, which means Lachlan can't refuse now.
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 2255 (click to see context) from:
'''Maq:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrqdduneB-o My brand]]!\\
to:
'''Maq:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrqdduneB-o My brand]]!\\brand]]!
Changed line(s) 2264 (click to see context) from:
'''Grak:''' No one gives a shit about your old days!
to:
'''Grak:''' No one gives a shit about your old days!days!\\
Changed line(s) 2274 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Alexi:''' Can ''I'' level up into gun? I'm a warlock Kit, you have to tell me if I ca level into Warlock.
to:
-->'''Alexi:''' Can ''I'' level up into gun? I'm a warlock Kit, you have to tell me if I ca can level into Warlock.gun.
Changed line(s) 2335 (click to see context) from:
Artie:''' Do you think if I was scared of death I would look like this?! ''*points at his nipples*''
to:
Changed line(s) 2393 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kit:''' I'm sure none of this is useable audio for this episode, sorry Jake. [[labelnote]]Obviously, Jake disagreed[[/labelnote]]
to:
-->'''Kit:''' I'm sure none of this is useable audio for this episode, sorry Jake. [[labelnote]]Obviously, [[note]]Obviously, Jake disagreed[[/labelnote]]disagreed[[/note]]
