History Funny / HowItsActuallyMade

-->'''Narrator:''' It all starts with a load of [[EatTheDog skin dog carcasses.]] Most factories elect to use dogs because it's cheaper than pork, [[CrossesTheLineTwice and customers can]] [[MillionToOneChance rarely]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice taste the difference.]]

--> '''Narrator:''' At this junction, the system funnels American popcorn in one direction, and [[CanadaEh Canadian popcorn]] in another. As you can see, [[CrossesTheLineTwice Canadian popcorn is just the worst thing ever.]]

* Some examples of sandwiches shown in the video are: ham and cheese, tomato, and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers miscellaneous salad.]]

The show's a ''Series/HowItsMade'' parody about a KnowNothingKnowItAll [[LemonyNarrator snarky]] UnreliableNarrator who zig zags between being serious [[GagDub and mercilessly throwing bullshit while talking.]] Needless to say, this is to be expected.

--> '''Narrator:''' First, an innocent cocoa bean bag is made out [[ImpliedDeathThreat as an example]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice to the employees who don't meet their daily quota.]]

--> '''Narrator:''' [...] The constant heat and pressure create a chocolate soup mixture, referred to in the industry as [[ShapedLikeItself "chocolate soup mixture"]].

---> '''Narrator:''' The chocolate chips are then given a brief experience [[TakeThat of typical Californian traffic.]]

--> [[BlatantLies "Just trying to educate the masses".]]

--> '''Narrator:''' [The skateboards] are given a practice run by an employee[[note]]'''Narrator:''' (''[[StageWhisper Whispering]]'') [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The hell kind of skateboarding is that?]][[/note]].

--> "Don't tell [=YouTube=] but I [[StealingTheCredit DVR]][[BuffySpeak 'd]] this from [[Creator/DiscoveryChannel The Science Channel]]".

--> '''Narrator:''' It all starts with a load of [[EatTheDog skin dog carcasses.]] Most factories elect to use dogs because it's cheaper than pork, [[CrossesTheLineTwice and customers can]] [[MillionToOneChance rarely]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice taste the difference.]]

--> '''Narrator:''' This process is rough on the meat, so it's not uncommon for some '''[[NauseaFuel afterbirth]]''' to be evacuated by the product. This afterbirth travels down a separate conveyor belt, [[CrossesTheLineTwice where it will then be used in cosmetics.]]

--> '''Narrator:''' [[BaitAndSwitch You thought I was kidding about the brining, didn't you?]] Well the next ''[[SincerityMode actual]]'' step...is ''brining''.

--> '''Narrator:''' Then, it's into the drench cabinet for a bath in [[HumanResources what remains of]] [[TheSecretOfLongPorkPies the employees]] [[MakeAnExampleOfThem who rally for better working conditions.]]

---> '''Narrator:''' This game is a particularly close one, so they're wrapping it up for later. As you can see, the crew really loves Jenga.

--> '''Narrator:''' They do this [[IncrediblyLamePun because meat is a good source of protein.]] The meat '''hates''' this, and falls apart under the stress [[JustSoStory into the strips we've come to know and love.]]

--> "Video quality is the highest you'll ever see [[BlatantLies in 2001]]".

--> '''Narrator:''' Handmade paper is a distinctive choice for a variety of uses, such as this document [[NoPaperFuture declaring paper to be obsolete in the digital age.]]

--> '''Narrator:''' In the product, workers place the strips on a conveyor, which leads them to [[ArtificialStupidity a machine that haphazardly chops them up however it feels like, sometimes not even cutting them at all.]]

* The ''trash'' is then thrown into a water tub called a [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollander_beater Hollander]], which grinds the material into a paste using a large roll weighing several tons.

** "If you feel bad for the robot who was just killed and had his face fashioned into a dinner plate... ''don't''. [[AcceptableTargets He was a racist]]".

** This is so up the pole, in fact, that not only [=YouTube=] tends to mix videos from the REAL ''Series/HowItsMade'' series with this parody, but ''even the {{Creator/CNN}} itself'' [[FailedASpotCheck thought that one of THIS series videos]] (more specifically, the ''Bread'' episode) [[EpicFail was actually an informative one.]] Hugbees [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc7cLCY8Aj8 talks more about the matter.]]

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_20220905_143016_4.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:"[[WhamLine This tire is dead.]]"]]

---> '''Narrator:''' [[SarcasmMode Ok, well, thanks a ''lot'', Sun Yi]], [[DeadpanSnarker now we'll never know]] [[PrecisionFStrike what fucking time it is!]]

** "If you feel bad for the robot who was just killed and had his face fashioned into a dinner plate, ''don't''. [[AcceptableTargets He was a racist]]".

* Meanwhile, [[https://youtu.be/e_Fgo1q_Gzc?t=141 a robot is being created]], at least, [[Cloudcuckoolander according to the Narrator.]]

---> '''Narrator:''' Ok, well, [[SarcasmMode thanks a lot, Sun Yi]], [[DeadpanSnarker now we'll never know]] [[PrecisionFStrike what fucking time it is!]]

---> '''Narrator:''' Ok, well, [[SarcasmMode thanks a lot, Sun Yi]], [[DeadpanSnarker now we'll never know]] [[PresicionFStrike what fucking time it is!]]

* The Narrator treating the making of a negative made of plaster for china vases as a description of Chinese policy.

* We then see a worker filling the substance in the vase-shaped negative, which the Narrator treats it as a national sport of China called "filling the oddly-shaped bucket".
** The vase that is made is apparently the trophy for first prize hidden inside the lucky winner's bucket.

* In general, the Narrator tends to confuse [[NamesTheSame "china" as a synonym of porcelain and the country of China]], so he tells the process of procelain objects [[NonSequitur as a video about Chinese culture.]]

* The Narrator treating the making of china vases as a description of Chinese policy.

--> '''Narrator:''' The three current rulers of China are legendary Shaolin Warriors: Feldspath, Kaolin and Quartz.