History Funny / Halo

* I'm surprised that this took so long. After 343 Guilty Spark has shut down the self-destruct of the Pillar of Autumn, Cortana is at a loss as to how to blow the ship up. The Master Chief asks how much firepower it would take to crack one of the engine shields. Cortana replies that it would only take a well-placed grenade. Cut to the Master Chief tossing one in the air when she asks why.

* This Troper especially enjoys Sergeant Johnson's inspiring pep talk to the marines at the beginning cutscene of the first game, and all the variants therein:

** No, the funny bit is immediately afterwards when that mistake finally exhausts the Chief's patience and he {{Dope Slap}}s his own helmet to shut her up.

* The [[EnemyChatter random lines of dialogue]] spoken by [=NPCs=] in ''Franchise/{{Halo}}'' are among the funniest things in all of gaming. In this troper's case, he was playing ''Halo 3'' and was killed after a protracted battle with a gang of Brutes. After dying, one of the Brutes ran over, stood over the Master Chief's corpse, and said, "He's dead! Now, we cuddle!"

** "HE WAS MY LOVER!"[[note]]For the unaware, that's [[UrsineAliens a]] [[KillerSpaceMonkey Brute]] speaking.[[/note]]

** Penitent Tangent is completely adamant about following containment protocol and stopping the Flood...despite the Flood's HiveMind literally [[ImStandingRightHere sitting right behind him]].

''Normal:''' "The Chief is going to jump in this tank, drive across that bridge, and blow up any Covenant sonofabitch that gets between him and the Prophet of Regret! Pull yourself together, because you're going with him!"\\

---> Normal: "The Chief is going to jump in this tank, drive across that bridge, and blow up any Covenant sonofabitch that gets between him and the Prophet of Regret! Pull yourself together, because you're going with him!"\\
Legendary: "Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways, but not today. This here is 66 tons of straight-up, HE-spewing, ''dee-vine intervention''! If God is love, then you can call me Cupid!"\\
Easy: "You had your chance to be afraid ''before'' you joined my beloved Corps. But to guide you back to the true path, I brought this motivational device. Our big green style cannot be defeated!

* I'm surprised that this took so long. After 343 Guilty Spark has shut down the self-destruct of the Pillar of Autumn, Cortana is at a loss as to how to blow the ship up. The Master Chief asks how much firepower it would take to crack one of the engine shields. Cortana replies that it would only take a well=placed grenade. Cut to the Master Chief tossing one in the air when she asks why.

* This Troper found Regret and 2401 Penitent Tangent's bickering quite amusing in the Gravemind cutscene in ''Halo 2''. It's made all the more funny/horrifying that neither of them seem to notice that they've been absorbed into the [[BuffySpeak giant, tentacle, alien, death god thing]]

* You can hijack a Warthog, kicking out former driver or gunner but not both at once. Awkward moments ensue when one Red and one Blue all riding the same car in multiplayer matches... Only when Halo 5 came around that you are able to switch seat and knock whoever that's left out of the Warthog.

* You can hijack a Warthog, kicking out former driver or gunner but not both at once. Awkward moments ensue when one Red and one Blue all riding the same car...

* The three versions of the password door in ''Halo 3''. (This is improved by the fact that all of them are voiced by the cast of ''RedVsBlue'', a Halo machinima.)

* A classic, from ''Halo 2'':

--->'''Faber''': "How the hell do you bribe a ''machine''?"
--->'''Catalog''': "You found a way."

* The [[EnemyChatter random lines of dialogue]] spoken by [=NPCs=] in ''{{Halo}}'' are among the funniest things in all of gaming. In this troper's case, he was playing ''Halo 3'' and was killed after a protracted battle with a gang of Brutes. After dying, one of the Brutes ran over, stood over the Master Chief's corpse, and said, "He's dead! Now, we cuddle!"

* In the level The Maw (the last level in the game), Cortana's trying to tell the Chief to pull up on his hijacked (and heavily damaged) banshee or else they'll crash, while Chief casually disregards this. They end up crashing, the Chief none worse for wear, and Cortana betting that he did that on purpose.

** "HE WAS MY LOVER!"[[note]]For the unaware, that's [[UrsineAlien a]] [[KillerSpaceMonkey Brute]] speaking.[[/note]]

** "HE WAS MY LOVER!"[[note]]For the unaware, that's [[BearsAreBadNews a]] [[KillerSpaceMonkey Brute]] speaking.[[/note]]

* In ''Halo 4'' when the Master Chief and Cortana just encountered the Covenant at the observation bay.

-->''[Blast doors open in front of the windows, revealing a several CCS-class cruisers]''
-->'''Cortana:''' Or we might have just stumbled into a Covenant fleet.

* Like most Smart AIs, Roland is a DeadpanSnarker, but he's absolutely hilarious when he gets into the ops:

--->'''Roland''': We've got bad guys in the engine room. They're yelling about "holy technology" and "Death to the heathens". I can only assume they're talking about you guys.

--->'''Sergeant Johnson'''

* Let's not forget the legendary ending to Combat Evolved and Anniversary, where either an Elite grabs Johnson's ass before the Autumn goes boom, or in Anniversary, Johnson does it.