History Funny / DreamSMPSeasonOne

** After that, they write down their policies. Here is the full list, as it was written by Wilbur. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously]].

'''Wilbur:''' [[CasualDangerDialog how are you?]]\\

--->'''Tommy:''' ''(uncomfortable)'' ...okay, that- that went on for a little bit... ''too'' long.

** After that, they write down their policies. Here is the full list, as it was written by Wilbur. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously.]]

3. We don't like [[ButtMonkey sapnap]]. we just don't. He's just not that appealing\\

* Wilbur and Tommy singing "[[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} The Story of Tonight]]" and drinking, of all things, Potions of Harming. Leading to one of the most ridiculous death messages in the game:

'''Wilbur:''' [[OpenMouthInsertFoot I realized that halfway through the word "Americans"…]]

* Wilbur asks Dream to go out on a date on a pizza hut, with Tommy being the messenger. And then Tubbo start spamming the following chat message privately to Tommy, causing him to laugh:

'''Tommy:''' ''(laughs)'' Okay, no, I wasn't- I wasn't gonna- Thank you, Tubbo.
* [=HBomb=], one of the server's newest members, joined ''right on [[WhamEpisode Election Night]]''. Needless to say, he was ''extremely'' confused.

** Also this quote in response:

-->'''Dream:''' Tommy, I'll- I have to step in.\\
'''Wilbur:''' YEAH, DADDY DREAM! [[ThatCameOutWrong Oh, wait no, scratch that one]], um... Leader Dr- the, um... big brother Dream! Oh fuck, that's- that's going in a compilation somewhere...

'''Tommy:''' (laughing) [[ComedicSociopathy When I got a flint and steel in my hands, who knows what I'll do, huh?]]\\

'''Tommy:''' [[OhCrap Uh...]]\\

'''Tommy:''' [[BlatantLies ..No.]]\\

'''Tommy:''' Wilbur, I'm--the forest is alive.\\

'''Tommy:''' Yeeah. Lotta life in this forest. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Bugs and shit.]]

-->'''Tubbo:''' --I was gonna say, is this all just because I didn't tell you my excuse to leave Schlatt?\\
'''Wilbur:''' It's- that- that contributed but that's- that's not- \\
'''Tubbo:''' --Cause that's quite- Would you- Would you like me to be completely transparent with you?\\

'''Tubbo:''' [[RefugeInAudacity I told him I was pregnant.]]\\

-->'''Tubbo:''' Waitwaitwait! I have an idea! ''(pours water on top of Tommy)'' [[ComedicSociopathy Now he can't breeeeathe.]]

--->'''Tommy:''' Okay, no, Philza, he's really antagonized me there, Wilbur shot me first, Wilbur shot me first, with a- with a bow, and then I pearled on him and he ran!\\

'''Tommy:''' Yeah, Wilbur SHOT me in the FACE, Phil, with a bullet, and I went, "Ow, Wilbur, you're so mean-"\\

--->'''Phil:''' ''(incredulously)'' How- how did you ''manage'' that?!\\

--->'''Tommy:''' Philza, you irresponsible bastard, let me out! Ohh, you- You [[HappilyMarried get married]] once, and you change! You become such a bad person, you become a bad man!\\
'''Phil:''' [[BigWhat WHAT?!]]\\
'''Tommy:''' You think you're all this and that! You- Agh, go get married again, Phil!\\

--->'''Tommy:''' Marriage fraud is where two men get- two women- two- ''shit''- anyone gets married, and then- and then- and then they fall apart, and then the other one- listen, Tubbo, the other one probably owns a knife or some shit. And then what they do is they go and rob a bank together as frauds.

-->'''Techno:''' I WAS HAVING A GOOD SLEEP! I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, JUST LAYING THERE, GETTING SOME SHUT-EYE, WHICH ONE OF YOU-\\
'''Tommy:''' Nonono, wait, Techno, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine! It- You'll be okay!

--->'''Tommy:''' OH GOD, NONONONONO, TWITCH, TWITCH, I'M SURE THAT WAS A JOKE, PLEASE DON'T BAN ME, PLEASE DON'T BAN ME-

'''Dream:''' No, I did not! NO! N-WHAT?! I DID NOT- DISQUALIFIED, I DID NOT, I DID ''NOT!''

--->'''Tommy:''' Whyyy... Drista was more- Drista was cooler than you.\\

'''Drista:''' [[FirstNameBasis Clay?]] Where'd he go? Okay... anyway.
* "We have grieved. Now we will do the opposite of grieve. [[{{Griefer}} Grief]]."
* While the festival counts as one huge WhamEpisode, there were some funny moments.

--->'''Tommy:''' What the f- What's wrong with you?!\\
'''Techno:''' Uh... [[HeroicSelfDeprecation 'Lotta things, really.]] Uh, I have a bad attention span, bad at conversation, don't really deal with social conversations well, might've just committed tax fraud recently-\\

'''Techno:''' [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Oh, and the murders.]]

---->'''Fundy:''' I want you to be honest. I know this question has not been asked, and I know we've had some... experiences in the past, but listen... [[TemptingFate can you swim?]]\\

'''Fundy:''' Oh, no-\\

'''Fundy:''' ''(scrambling to get him out of the tank)'' WHAT DID I- I WAS NOT-

--> '''Tommy:''' Whenever I swear you go "Language!" but whenever- whenever ''Philza'' over here does, you go, "Aw, Philza, aw-"\\
'''Bad:''' [[TemptingFate He hasn't sweared in this conversation at all!]]\\

* Some time after the festival, Techno and Tommy have a heated discussion about Techno killing Tubbo (and everyone else). Techno then goes AFK to get a glass of water, and Tommy uses this opportunity to [[{{Revenge}} kill him on behalf of Tubbo]]... but then ''[[EpicFail dies in the process]]'' due to [[AttackReflector Techno's Thorns enchanted armor]], with Techno being [[NoSell basically unharmed]].
-->'''Techno:''' I'm back with my glass of water. Oh, why is my health so low[[note]]read: he still has ''six and a half hearts'', decidedly not low at all[[/note]]? Ah, doesn't matter--''(sees Tommy's loot)''--[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny oh, hey, hey, free stuff!]]
** Just prior to this confrontation, Tommy passes Techno a block of pink wool with a message on it that says... "You matter ♡ --Eret". After realizing this mistake, Tommy quickly takes back the block and gives Techno a second block of pink wool with the message he ''intended'' to give -- "GO TO HELL".

-->'''Quackity:''' Someone in chat said "[[GoSeduceMyArchnemesis flat out]] [[SleepingTheirWayToTheTop suck his d]]-" ''(cuts himself off and silently gestures)'' Alright, listen... Listen, listen, I wanna save Manburg [[EveryoneHasStandards with a little bit of dignity left]], alright? ''(uncomfortable laughter)'' If Manburg has to blow up, maybe it has to blow up, man, you know what I'm saying?

-->'''Quackity:''' GEORGE, THIS IS ''YOUR'' FAULT! EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED UP TO THIS POINT IS LITERALLY BECAUSE YOU SLEPT THROUGH THE ELECTIONS! If YOU had gone to the elections, we could have gotten votes, and we could have won fairly, and Schlatt wouldn't have done any-- EVERYTHING that's happened up to this point! And NOW you have the AUDACITY to wake up and SHOW UP?!\\

'''George:''' [[TheStoic Hey, guys.]]

'''Schlatt:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAAAAAT?!]]'''''\\
'''Quackity:''' [[NonSequitur Bazinga!]]\\

--->'''Karl:''' Listen, Dream! Listen, Schlatt! Listen, Quackity! There's no guys in this world. [[ThatCameOutWrong No, wait]]- There's no good guys in this world. No good girls in this world. No bad guys, no bad girls. Only... [[InherentlyFunnyWords gamers]].\\

'''Sapnap:''' [[LittleNo No.]]

-->'''Wilbur:''' Hey SAD-ist, put this in the animatic, right, I'm gonna give you- I'm gonna give you something to put in the animatic-\\
'''Tommy:''' Hey SAD-ist, put this in the animatic! ''(high pitched screech)''\\
'''Wilbur:''' ''(bursts out laughing)'' [...] Unlike Tommy, I'm gonna give you something you can actually use, you ready? "Tommy, we can't keep talking now, this is ''it''. This is where we take it all back. Either that, or we get nothing. Are you ready?" There you go, you can-\\

* While discussing how Wilbur [[LampshadeHanging never seems to wear armor]] (apparently he doesn't like it), Tommy [[AccidentalMisnaming accidentally calls Wilbur "Wilby"]]. Wilbur's reaction is ''pure'' CutenessOverload, while Tommy [[VerbalBackspace immediately tries to backpedal]].[[labelnote:*]]Animatic link [[https://youtu.be/B4OWF4EwN9E here]], footage link [[https://youtu.be/E3MYUAlrs6E here.]][[/labelnote]]

** After realizing Schlatt is completely harmless, the Pogtopians debate whether or not they should kill him or get answers out of him. Schlatt suddenly asks if anyone else smells toast[[note]]A symptom of stroke, [[ArtisticLicenseMedicine according to urban legend]][[/note]], starts breathing heavily, then ''drops dead on the spot.''

'''Quackity:''' ...he said "[[TraumaButton flatty patty]]." [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ARE YOU]] ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe GODDAMN]] '''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe KIDDING ME?!]]'''''

* When Wilbur announces he's going to hand off the presidency to someone, Karl mutters, "Alright, I see where this is going" and starts walking towards the podium, at which point Jack Manifold runs forward to push him back to his seat.

-->'''Wilbur:''' I'm not- I wasn't doing anything! We just made Tubbo president, we- ''(nervous laugh)'' We, um... We elected Tubbo president, and we won! We won the war, Schlatt's gone, Schlatt's gone, Phil, so um...\\

'''Wilbur:''' Innnnnn... L'Manburg, the sor- the area- you wouldn't know, I don't think you've been here, it's the area around L'Man- It's complicated! It's complicated, geography and that, y'know, it's- it's geography and st-\\

--->'''Techno:''' Do you want to be a hero, Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE! ''(misplaces the Wither Skulls)'' Okay, why isn’t this spawning? Why is this not spawning? This is very awkward. [...] I hate this.

-->'''George:''' ''(after all of the fighting was over)'' What actually happened? I'm confused. [[CaptainOblivious Were you guys fighting or something?]]

'''Fundy:''' [[LampshadeHanging That doesn't make sense!]]

'''Techno:''' Uh... [[HeroicSelfDeprecation 'Lotta things, really.]] Uh, I have a bad attention span, bad at conversation, don't really deal with social conversations well, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers might've just committed tax fraud recently-]]\\

And thus we discover that Quackity's panic responses are not "flight or fight", they're apparently "flight or [[AnythingThatMoves fuck]]".\\

'''Phil:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck.]]

* Tubbo's [[FailedASpotCheck complete inability to find Wilbur]] when he was [[https://youtu.be/zTs1uMdoVww?t=1337 standing on a tree right above him]].

* When Wilbur first proposes the election, Tommy writes a bunch of [[WordSaladHumor vaguely election-related nonsense]] and Wilbur reads the ''entire'' thing out loud. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1UTXHqM7bE&list=PL6WHJUJ5a3Fl_A9HRkcIhhPzZ6FOLTiwf&index=4&t=504s It must be seen to be believed]].

13. I will president [[note]]At this point they got interrupted by a zombie, which Wilbur [[ThrowTheBookAtThem beat to death with the book]].[[/note]]\\

* Wilbur and Tommy singing ''[[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} The Story of Tonight]]'' and drinking, of all things, Potions of Harming. Leading to one of the most ridiculous death messages in the game:

--> '''Tubbo:''' ''(in a private chat message to Tommy)'' Deffo Flirting
--> '''Tommy:''' ''(bursts out laughing)''
* In a genuinely heartwarming moment, Tubbo gives Tommy a pufferfish named Phukkit, which he's had since the start of the server, as a good luck charm for the election. Tommy then immediately asks if he should eat it.

* [[https://twitter.com/MintyMacy9/status/1314343123565326340 Quackity the stripper]].

-->'''Dream:''' Tommy, I'll-- I have to step in.\\
'''Wilbur:''' YEAH, DADDY DREAM! [[ThatCameOutWrong Oh, wait no, scratch that one]], um... Leader Dr-- the, um... big brother Dream! Oh fuck, that's-- that's going in a compilation somewhere...
** [[{{Beat}} It's followed by a very long awkward silence]].
* Doubling as an awesome moment, Techno's epic search for nether wart. Three hours of stream, several near-death experiences, an entire bastion raid, a ragequit from navigating Basalt Deltas and the resulting 4000-block walk in the Overworld, and [[HarsherInHindsight enough dead wither skeletons to spawn two withers]]. All for nether wart.
* [[https://youtu.be/NIg6jBIq2kI?t=765s Tommy really wants to light Manburg on fire]], but Wilbur keeps telling him not to. But then, Tubbo hands Wilbur Schlatt's "presidential to-do" list....one of which includes the task: "Drain all lakes and kill all wildlife".

'''Wilbur:''' It's--that--that contributed but that's--that's not--\\
'''Tubbo:''' --Cause that's quite--Would you--would you like me to be completely transparent with you?\\

'''Techno:''' ....We're gonna need another forest.\\

* During one of the Pogtopia-streams, Tommy steals all of Wilbur's diamonds, crafts them into blocks and starts scattering them around the ravine as "decoration", as well as a bunch of observers, redstone blocks and pistons. This winds up backfiring for him, as he accidentally [[https://youtu.be/VuYVVIeWlC0?t=525 gets himself trapped beneath two pistons]]. The others immediately proceed to block him in with cobblestone and leave him there.

'''Tommy:''' Yeah, Wilbur SHOT me in the FACE, Phil, with a bullet, and I went "Ow, Wilbur, you're so mean-"\\

** "[Tommy] says 'I would stop if you messaged me asking me to stop', so I messaged him asking him to stop, and he goes 'Why? I'm funny.'"

--->'''Tommy:''' Marriage fraud is where two men get-- two women-- two-- ''shit''-- anyone gets married, and then- and then- and then they fall apart, and then the other one- listen, Tubbo, the other one probably owns a knife or some shit. And then what they do is they go and rob a bank together as frauds.

-->'''Techno:''' I WAS HAVING A GOOD SLEEP! I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, JUST LAYING THERE, GETTING SOME SHUT-EYE, WHICH ONE OF YOU--\\

** The first thing she does once she gains control of Dream's character is beat Tommy up with an axe. She continues doing this for a ''while.''

--->'''Tommy:''' What the f-- What's wrong with you?!\\

'''Techno:''' [[ObviouslyEvil I mean,]] [[BluntYes kinda]].\\

---->'''Fundy:''' I want you to be honest. I know this question has not been asked, and I know we've had some... experiences in the past, but listen... [[TemptingFate Can you swim?]]\\

'''Fundy:''' Oh, no--\\

'''Fundy:''' ''(scrambling to get him out of the tank)'' WHAT DID I-- I WAS NOT--

--> '''Tommy:''' Whenever I swear you go "Language!" but whenever- whenever ''Philza'' over here does, you go "Aw, Philza, aw--"\\

-->'''Techno:''' I'm back with my glass of water. Oh, why is my health so low[[note]]read: he still has ''six and a half hearts'', decidedly not low at all[[/note]]? Ah, doesn't matter--''(sees Tommy's loot)''--[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny oh, hey, hey, free stuff!]]!

* After Quackity [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere leaves Manburg]], Tommy confronts him in the woods. It's a very serious, very tense conversation... that's constantly interrupted by Tommy's horse wandering between them or pushing them around.

-->'''Quackity:''' Someone in chat said "[[GoSeduceMyArchnemesis flat out]] [[SleepingTheirWayToTheTop suck his d]]--" ''(cuts himself off and silently gestures)'' Alright, listen... Listen, listen, I wanna save Manburg [[EveryoneHasStandards with a little bit of dignity left]], alright? ''(uncomfortable laughter)'' If Manburg has to blow up, maybe it has to blow up, man, you know what I'm saying?

--->'''Karl:''' Listen, Dream! Listen, Schlatt! Listen, Quackity! There's no guys in this world. [[ThatCameOutWrong No, wait]]-- There's no good guys in this world. No good girls in this world. No bad guys, no bad girls. Only... [[InherentlyFunnyWords Gamers]].\\

''And the latter turns out to be [[CelibateHero Technoblade's one weakness.]]''

** Better yet, SAD-ist ''does'' put this into her [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ3hcV4Zh7I&t=25s bloopers reel animatic]], though with a SoundEffectBleep censoring out the inappropriate word.
* While discussing how Wilbur [[LampshadeHanging never seems to wear armor]] (apparently he doesn't like it), Tommy [[AccidentalMisnaming accidentally calls Wilbur "Wilby"]]. Wilbur's reaction is ''pure'' CutenessOverload, while Tommy [[VerbalBackspace immediately tries to backpedal]].[[labelnote:*]]Animatic link [[https://youtu.be/B4OWF4EwN9E here]], footage link [[https://youtu.be/E3MYUAlrs6E here]][[/labelnote]]

'''Quackity:''' ...he said "[[BerserkButton flatty patty]]." [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ARE YOU]] ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe GODDAMN]] '''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe KIDDING ME?!]]'''''

* When Wilbur announces he's going to hand off the presidency to someone, Karl mutters "Alright, I see where this is going" and starts walking towards the podium, at which point Jack Manifold runs forward to push him back to his seat.

'''Phil:''' Yeah. "In L'Manburg", you said.

[[/folder]]

* [=BadBoyHalo=] [[AccidentalDiscovery stumbled upon Pogtopia]] after hearing the buttons on the walls being pressed... right as Wilbur, Quackity, Tommy and Fundy were having a meeting. Quackity's solution? [[ClusterFBomb Get everyone there to yell swear words at]] [[GoshDangItToHeck BadBoyHalo]] to scare him off. The best part? For a good couple of minutes, it ''[[CrazyEnoughToWork works]]''.

* After the disaster that was the meeting between Schlatt and Quackity, ''[[NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp George]]'' logs onto the server. Quackity ''immediately'' [[WhatTheHellHero starts yelling at him]] for missing literally every important event since the election.

* The fact that, following the incident of [[NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp him sleeping through the elections]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hppia1K_6RI George was off building a house]] while most of this was happening.

* Technoblade is one of the most [[TheDreaded feared players on the server]]... and for very good reasons. But if there's one thing he's weak at, if anything, it's [[NoSocialSkills human interaction]]. When Quackity asks him out on a date as a last ditch effort to stop him from attacking, he [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere runs for the hills]].

''[[VillainousAromanticAsexual And the latter turns out to be]] [[CelibateHero Technoblade's one weakness.]]''