History DoubleEntendre / UpPompeii

-->'''Lurcio''': This time it's to celebrate the Festival of the Prolific Goose. Lay all night.

-->'''Cassandra''': Repent now, I say, or suffer the fate that befell the wicked people of Gomorrah.
-->'''Lurcio''': Quite, quite.
-->'''Cassandra''': And ''Sodom''.
-->'''Lurcio''': I quite agree, dear. The lot of them.

-->'''Lurcio''': Well, did you notice that ring she had on? She had a ring, mmm, well, apparently, that was given to her by the man she loved when she was eighteen, you see, an' he left her, an' she's never had it off since.

-->'''Procuria''': In the court of Samarkand, she once held a ''very'' unique position.
-->'''Lurcio''': On top of the wardrobe, I should think.

-->'''Procuria''': Well, don't blame me. It's the ''inflation'' that does it.
-->'''Lurcio''': Oh... I wondered how she got them that size.

-->'''Captain Bilius''': Here, you there! Slave!
-->'''Lurcio''': 'Oo, me?
-->'''Captain Bilius''': Yes, you. Move your ass.
-->'''Lurcio''': ({{Beat}}) Well, that's nice, isn't it?

-->'''Captain Bilius''': Oh, I've hurt my coccyx.
-->'''Lurcio''': I thought he bowled his back?

-->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Dear child, so lovely. So chaste.
-->'''Lurcio''': And so easily caught.

-->'''Prosperus Maximus''': This is my wife, the Lady Voluptua.
-->'''Captain Bilius''': It's a great pleasure, milady.
-->'''Voluptua''': I ''know''... I've tried it.

-->'''Nausius''': I feel a different person.
-->'''Lurcio''': ''Well'', it's better than sticking to one, isn't it? Teehee.
-->'''Nausius''': Lurcio, I've lost it.
-->'''Lurcio''': Pardon?
-->'''Nausius''': I've lost it.
-->'''Lurcio''': You haven't?!
-->'''Nausius''': Yes, I have. I have lost my heart!
-->'''Lurcio''': ''Oh''.

-->'''Voluptua''': You will be staying with us, Captain?
-->'''Captain Bilius''': Certainly, yes, milady. I mean if you have room for me.
-->'''Voluptua''': I'm sure I can fit you in ''somewhere''.

-->'''Lurcio''': You see, the trouble they're foreign. They've come over here to learn the language. Au pair girls. ({{Beat}}) Now there's an "Oh!" pair if I ever saw one.

-->'''Lurcio''': Right now, Scrubba. I'm ready for it.
-->'''Scrubba''': Me ''too''.
-->'''Lurcio''': No, dear, for the ''wine''.

-->'''Ammonia''': A drink, perhaps?
-->'''Captain Bilius''': No.
-->'''Ammonia''': Well, there must be something that you'd like?
-->'''Captain Bilius''': Well, perhaps just a quick one.
-->'''Ammonia''': Here? Or upstairs?

-->'''Erotica''': Well, it really is a bit ''stiff!''

-->'''Captain Bilius''': You know what I want, don't you?
-->'''Lurcio''': Certainly not! I have not the ''slightest'' idea.
-->'''Captain Bilius''': Oh, yes you have. It's about ''that'' long.
-->'''Lurcio''': ''Flattery'' will get you ''nowhere''.

-->'''Voluptua''': Put my 'air up, Flavia. It gets in my way when I'm riding.
-->'''Flavia''': Oh, I'm sorry, milady. I didn't know you were going out tonight.
-->'''Voluptua''': Who said anything about going out?

-->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Let me tell you the latest position.
-->'''Voluptua''': I probably know it but carry on.

-->'''Lurcio''': Alright, stop doing that. You'll screw yourself into the ground.
-->'''Christian''': Ay, grandad.
-->'''Lurcio''': You can ''screw'' yourself too.

-->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': It's no use, Ammonia. I can't do it.
-->'''Ammonia''': Well, ''that's'' nothing new.

-->'''Biggia''': That's ''right''. ''Knead'' it, ''knead'' it!
-->'''Lurcio''': So do I, dear, but I can't always get it.

-->'''Cassandra''': Don't you feel anything?
-->'''Lurcio''': I rarely get the chance, dear, an' I've got no time now.