History CrossesTheLineTwice / SCPFoundation

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3008 SCP-3008]] is an infinite IKEA store where those who wander into it can't leave, and which appears to be attracting people from different universes/timelines. The "staff" consist of [[HumanoidAbomination weirdly-proportioned and faceless humanoids]] that fatally assault any humans they see when the lights go out, which is pretty horrifying...but the fact that they do so while [[DissonantSerenity politely and calmly saying "The store is now closed, please exit the building"]] can send retail workers (especially those who perform closing duties and/or actual IKEA employees) reading the article into hysterics.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3008 SCP-3008]] is an infinite IKEA store where those who wander into it can't leave, and which appears to be attracting people from different universes/timelines. The "staff" consist of [[HumanoidAbominations weirdly-proportioned and faceless humanoiods]] that fatally assault any humans they see when the lights go out, which is pretty horrifying...but the fact that they do so while [[DissonantSerenity politely and calmly saying "The store is now closed, please exit the building"]] can send retail workers (especially those who perform closing duties and/or actual IKEA employees) reading the article into hysterics.

* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7234 SCP-7234]] is already a pretty weird article about an extra dimensional anomaly of a doomed world covered by anomalous grease that gets dark and full of NauseaFuel when the team sent to investigate discover it is a lot more dangerous that they thought by being beset by torrents of grease and a team member coping with it by popping acne caused by the grease. It culminates in TheReveal at the end of the article where the last surviving team member discovers the source of the grease. [[spoiler: A 300 mile high obese balding man eating a burger]].

-->''Have to give you credit, it was quite the spectacle until everyone remembered how two streams of high-velocity liquids can puncture glass… and flesh. We have ordered the destruction of all photographic and written documentation of the first "termination experiment" to avoid incentivizing further incidents.''

* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3288 SCP-3288]] is a subterranean mutant species of BodyHorror-laden [[AristocratsAreEvil evil aristocrats]] ([[spoiler:which is actually a remnant of the Habsburg royal family created by systematic inbreeding]]), which kidnaps humans to [[ImAHumanitarian eat]] or [[MarsNeedsWomen use as breeding-slaves]]. They're simply vile... until you realise that their informal name within the Foundation is "TheAristocrats".

* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3288 SCP-3288]] is a subterranean mutant species of BodyHorror-laden [[AristocratsAreEvil evil aristocrats]] ([[spoiler:which is actually a remnant of the Habsburg royal family created by systematic inbreeding]]), which kidnaps humans to [[ImAHumanitarian eat]] or [[MarsNeedsWomen use as breeding-slaves]]. They're simply vile... until you realise that they are in fact a reference to the TheAristocrats joke.

* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5004 SCP-5004]], which words cannot do justice.

* From [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-029 SCP-029]]:

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-198 SCP-198]] is a shapeshifting cup which, when gripped by a human, bonds itself to their hands on a molecular level and then begins filling up with their bodily fluids and waste products, including blood, bile, feces, saliva, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. The victim will then rapidly die of supernatural dehydration and malnutrition unless they [[NauseaFuel drink the contents of the cup]], which perpetually refills until the victim [[MortonsFork dies anyway]] from it draining all their blood.

* The [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-t-98816-oc108-682 attempts at killing SCP-682]] have been getting increasingly desperate, including chopping it up into 12,000 pieces with rapid precision blades and putting them in separate miniature containment cells, chopping it up into 12,000 pieces with rapid precision blades and putting them in separate miniature containment cells after SCP-173 was used to immobilize the lizard, and chopping it up into 12,000 pieces combined with the simultaneous application of [[BlobMonster SCP-1361]], secretions from SCP-075 and SCP-3000, SCP-063, SCP-101 the miniature black hole, sedatives, and [[IncendiaryExponent napalm]]. All three failed.

* [[HuskyRusskie Agent Strelkinov]]'s [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/reddawn proposal]] for an agents' handbook for his Mobile Task Force, which rapidly devolves into him expressing his [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain genocidal hatred of Chechens]] and elaborating on how and why you should gruesomely murder them accompanied by various horrified and concerned notes from the proposal's reviewer.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/wydness-art-page Wydness' art page]] includes a ''dakimakura'' design of '''[[{{Squick}} SCP-682]]''', complete with a [REDACTED] tag covering the crotch region.
* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-5004 SCP-5004]], which words cannot do justice.

* The whole point of [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-100000-j SCP-100000-J]], which lampoons overblown containment procedures.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-261-ad-de SCP-261]] produces a number of interesting results, including tiny crab-like "Eetmees" who desperately beg to be eaten and attempt to force their way into the subject's mouth if they refuse, a "Tasty Fetus" gummy candy with an accompanying cartoon of a girl who gets into trouble with her father after the latter mistakes it for a real fetus, and an entire live auroch which was gruesomely torn apart when an attempt was made to break open 261 to get it out.
* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-5000 SCP-5000]] details the Foundation's new-found goal to [[KillAllHumans exterminate all humans Dalek-style]] through varied methods, including triggering the eruption of Yellowstone Volcano, releasing numerous Keter [=SCPs=] such as 682, 610, and 1048, destroying worldwide coastal settlements by causing [[KrakenAndLeviathan SCP-169]] to shift in its sleep, [[MindRape Mind Raping]] a child RealityWarper into a living weapon to destroy refugee camps, and... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking propaganda broadcasts]] in which [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain 1370]] talks about how he is going to take over the world "or whatever".
* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1459 SCP-1459]], [[CruelAndUnusualDeath The Puppy Machine]]. Killing puppies for cookies has never been so much fun to read about.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/funerals-are-fun Funerals Are Fun]] manages to combine two really disturbing [=SCPs=] (the horrific CandidCameraPrank show 2030 and half-cicada BodyHorror-inducing monster 2852) in a story so weird — it helps that [[ThroughTheEyesOfMadness it's told by one of the witnesses/victims]] — that it gets somewhat funny.
* The treatment of poor [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3467-j SCP-3467-J]], a fat, chicken-eating BasementDweller whose ''official containment procedure'' is that whoever encounters him should insult, heckle, embarrass, and humiliate him [[ButtMonkey at every available opportunity]]. Even [[PaintingTheMedium the entry]] gets in on it.
* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-5555-j SCP-5555-J]], the Chibinator, makes flanderized mini clones of [=SCPs=] and Foundation staff. Said clones are operate on implausibility and tend to be extremely bloodthirsty.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1936 SCP-1936]], Daleport. When it's one EldritchAbomination imposing horrific warping upon reality and changing things to its whim, sure, it's unnerving or even terrifying. An ''Eldritch Abomination free-for-all in some unfortunate New England town'', however, just starts getting funny or at least inspires some degree of awe from the sheer level of surrealism resulting from it.
* [[http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-4985 SCP-4985]] is an investment firm that's run like a kingdom, complete with everyone in the company holding noble ranks, referring to the current CEO as 'Your Majesty', and so on. Keeping with this theme, they execute between five and ten employees a year for various crimes like embezzlement and so on. Guillotining your employees for their crimes? Not funny. The guillotine in question being a ''paper'' guillotine? ''Very'' dark, but funny, especially when the footnote says that it's a very laborious process.
* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-686 SCP-686]] is infected milk which causes anyone who drinks it (male or female) to begin massively lactating, and start growing more mammary glands unless they are milked on a regular basis. At some point they decided to [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment-log-t-98816-oc108-682 use this]] against ''[[{{Squick}} SCP-682]]''. The attempt itself isn't stated, but one Researcher wanted it to be done again, and was met with the following O5 response:
-->''Have to give you credit, it was quite the spectacle until everyone remembered how two streams of high-velocity liquids can puncture glass… and flesh. We have ordered the destruction of all photographic and written documentation of the first "termination experiment" to avoid incentivizing further incidents.''

* [[http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-4985 SCP-4985]] is an investment firm that's run like a kingdom, complete with everyone in the company holding noble ranks, referring to the current CEO as 'Your Majesty', and so on. Keeping with this theme, they execute between five and ten employees a year for various crimes like embezzlement and so on. Guillotining your employees for their crimes? Not funny. The guillotine in question being a ''paper'' guillotine? ''Very'' dark, but funny, especially when the footnote says that it's a very laborious process.

* There is a certain amount of BlackComedy in Guest Researcher W ''[[MoralEventHorizon intentionally]]'' feeding two chidren to [[WouldHurtAChild SCP-682]] and then [[HoistByHisOwnPetard being fed to 682 himself]] by Assistant Director Clef.

--->SCP-029 has requested:\\

--->'''Test Subject:''' Ow! Owowow! It burned me!\\

* The [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-t-98816-oc108-682 attempts at killing SCP-682]] have been getting increasingly desperate, including chopping it up into 12,000 pieces with rapid precision blades and putting them in separate minature containment cells, chopping it up into 12,000 pieces with rapid precision blades and putting them in separate minature containment cells after SCP-173 was used to immobilize the lizard, and chopping it up into 12,000 pieces combined with the simultaneous application of [[BlobMonster SCP-1361]], secretions from SCP-075 and SCP-3000, SCP-063, SCP-101 the miniature black hole, sedatives, and [[IncendiaryExponent napalm]]. All three failed.

--->"When you are able to shank enemies in the neck with your bayonet and not even be slightly bothered by this, when you are able to chop them in face with shovel, to kick them with jackboot, and pull their teeths, burn their homes and slaughters their livestock and send one Chechen to next village as a warning for the other bastards, then you have understood what it is to hate. ''(all struck out with "[[NoJustNoReaction I don't know what to say]]" written over it)''

--->Shortly afterwards, cameras reactivate. Standing on one side of the room is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, eyes glowing white. Across from her, through the dust and haze and levitating three meters off the ground is a colossal, three-headed, vaguely humanoid entity with the legs of a horse, the torso of an extremely obese man, four arms with small hands at their ends and three long human-adjacent necks, ending at the tortured heads of Ivanka, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump, each of which bellows in agony. In the center of the chest is a face with bulging lips, sunken red eyes, and a grotesque rotten beard.

--->Area-100000-J has been established as a 100km radius on the surface above SCP-100000-J. The fence on the perimeter of Area-100000-J is to be electrified, irradiated, and equipped with autoturrets with mounted .900-caliber railguns. The gate to Area-100000-J is to be guarded by one 500kg, 3m tall ogre equipped with one 300kg, 5m tall battle-axe. The ogre must be completely deaf, by surgical means if necessary. All personnel requesting entry to Area-100000-J must answer correctly the ogre's three impossible riddles, each of which are lethal auditory cognitohazards.

---> ''This is a collaborative experiment log for a machine that kills puppies. It has exactly one downvote. There is something seriously wrong with us as a community.''

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-261-ad-de SCP-261]] produces a number of interesting results, including tiny crab-like "Eetmees" who desperately beg to be eaten and attempt to force their way into the subject's mouth if they refuse, a "Tasty Fetus" with an accompanying cartoon of a girl who gets into trouble with her father after the latter mistakes it for a real fetus, and an entire live auroch which was gruesomely torn apart when an attempt was made to break open 261 to get it out.

* [[http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-4985 SCP-4985]] is an investment firm that's run like a kingdom, complete with everyone in the company holding ranks, referring to the current CEO as 'Your Majesty', and so on. Keeping with this theme, they execute between five and ten employees a year for various crimes like embezzlement and so on. Guillotining your employees for their crimes? Not funny. The guillotine in question being a ''paper'' guillotine? ''Very'' dark, but funny, especially when the footnote says that it's a very laborious process.

* [[http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-4985 SCP-4985]] is an investment firm that's run like a kingdom, complete with everyone in the company holding ranks, referring to the current CEO as 'Your Majesty', and so on. Keeping with this theme, they execute between five and ten employees a year for various crimes like embezzlement and so on. Guillotining your employees for their crimes? Not funny. The guillotine in question being a ''paper'' guillotine? Horrifically funny.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1936 SCP-1936]], Daleport. When it's one EldritchAbomination imposing horrific warping upon reality and changing things to its whim, sure, it's unnerving or even terrifying. An ''Eldritch Abomination free-for-all in some unfortunate New England town'', however, just starts getting funny or at least inspires some degree of awe from the sheer level of surrealism resulting from it.

''This is ridiculous! The girl can't even have clothes? We are not animals, let her cover herself!'' - Dr Ericka Boden\\

* The whole point of [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-10000-j SCP-100000-J]], which lampoons overblown containment procedures.

* [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-261-ad-de SCP-261 produces a number of interesting results, including tiny crab-like "Eetmees" who desperately beg to be eaten and attempt to force their way into the subject's mouth if they refuse, a "Tasty Fetus" with an accompanying cartoon of a girl who gets into trouble with her father after the latter mistakes it for a real fetus, and an entire live auroch which was gruesomely torn apart when an attempt was made to break open 261 to get it out.