History CaptainObvious / VideoGames

* The video game magazine [=GamePro=] give protips for games they review of varying usefulness. One {{egregious}}ly unhelpful hint was for ''VideoGame/{{Doom}}''. [[note]]The image is actually a hoax created by Doomworld co-founder Linguica, but that doesn't stop it from being an amusing parody.[[/note]]

* Shirou in ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight'' and the infamous "People die if they are killed!" [[note]]This one requires some explaining. First, it's a play on the idiom "[[{{Determinator}} (s)he won't die even if you kill them!]]". Additionally, what Shirou's saying is that people ''[[DeathIsCheap should]]'' die if they're killed; it's taken out of context with the next part, "...that's the way it's supposed to be."[[/note]]

-->[The mothership explodes, Killing Pox and scattering the weapons all over Earth]\\
'''Crypto:''' "Uh-oh, that can't be good."

--> '''Sky-Eye:''' "Mobius One, Fox Two."

--> You're flying really low and fast on an attack run:
--> '''onboard computer:''' "Caution: Pull Up"
--> Still flying low, trying to concentrate here...
--> '''AWACS:''' "Blaze, your altitude is to low, pull up"
--> '''Squadron member:''' "Captain! Pull up!"
--> Around this time you'll probably be so distracted that a SAM has got a lock on you so:
--> '''AWACS:''' "Missile lock!"
--> Thanks man, never noticed all the red 'missile warning' lights...
--> '''onboard computer:''' beep beep beep beep beep beep...
--> '''Squadron member:''' "Captain! Missile! Break break!"
--> Hey don't haven't you guys got your own planes to worry about? No wonder you get no kills...

* In general, any time a game gives you such wonderfully helpful tutorial prompts like "To jump, press the jump button".

* In the original ''PhantasyStar'' for the UsefulNotes/SegaMasterSystem, a brilliant villager at Scion reveals that there are "Motavian(s) living on Motavia and Dezorian(s) on Dezoris".

--> '''onboard computer:''' "Cation: Pull Up"

** This is even invoked in-universe at one point in ''Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War'' during a [[WorldWarII Pearl Harbor-esque]] level.

** The PC is not immune. At one point you're asked to select one of the following conversation options:

* Upon spawning in most maps, heroes will announce their names in ''StarWarsBattlefront 2''. The funniest one is probably Yoda's "Yoda I am. Fight I will."

* Issun from ''{{Okami}}'' does this pretty often, but it's possibly justified since most English players aren't too aware about Japanese legends and stuff.

--->''[[{{Hiimdaisy}} Ace DETECTIVE]]''

** To be fair, one-piece hooked blades are ''far'' more natural for that area, and without knowing that this one instead consists of a removable unsharpened hook covering a stiletto blade the things you can do with the hookblade make no sense whatsoever.

*** Set straight again right after that as Shingala runs to the ocean cave dungeon(which Max and Monica must then explore), Max then says, "He's heading for the ocean!"

*** Though it does make sense, ''real'' AWACS would be telling the pilots of aircraft under their control ''exactly'' what is going on; flying a plane is like the 'pat your head rub your tummy' multitasking exercise up to eleven... and that's ''before'' bad guys start shooting at you.

* Shirou in ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight'' and the infamous "People die if they are killed!" [[note]] This one requires some explaining. First, it's a play on the idiom "[[{{Determinator}} (s)he won't die even if you kill them!]]". Additionally, what Shirou's saying is that people ''[[DeathIsCheap should]]'' die if they're killed; it's taken out of context with the next part, "...that's the way it's supposed to be."[[/note]]

*** The first part of the quote gets a funny little ShoutOut as a chapter title in ''VideoGame/HaloReach''.

** Another amusing ''Franchise/{{Halo}}'' example is from ''Anime/HaloLegends'', where Cortana describes the Milky Way saying, "This galaxy is vast."

* Navi from ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime'' is considered [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=42 quite annoying]] for [[StopHelpingMe repeatedly bugging the player to tell him/her the most obvious things]] (or things she's already recently said.)

** And how could we forget ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTheMinishCap The Minish Cap]]'''s Ezlo? Run into a closed door, he will tell you that it's closed. ''Every time, even if it was an accident''. Open a Warp-Mark. He will tell you that the explosion always frightens him. ''Every time''. Come near a small tornado, which you obviously have to jump in to. ''He tells you to jump in and remarks what a great idea of his this is.'' God, this guy is ''[[StopHelpingMe annoying]]''!

** The FinalBoss of ''VideoGame/SonicGenerations'' consists of your teammates [[StopHelpingMe constantly]] [[MostAnnoyingSound repeating]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvhbjjeTWIU "That looks like a homing shot!"]]. The only one that actually seems to know what a homing shot is is Shadow, who simply says "That's a homing shot".

* Alyx Vance in the ''VideoGame/HalfLife2'' episodes has a tendency to announce out loud every single thing she encounters, including the player's actions, new monsters, and Dr. Kleiner's screencasts. Sometimes her excessive talkativeness reaches the level of StopHelpingMe.

** Another amusing example is from ''Anime/HaloLegends'', where she describes the Milky Way saying, "This galaxy is vast."

-->'''Announcer''': Intruder Alert! Red Spy in the base!\\
'''Soldier''': A Red Spy is in the base?!\\
'''Announcer''': Protect the briefcase!\\
''Soldier''': We need to protect the briefcase!

'''Ace:''' Ah, a human hammer. They're often used to subdue large men like Seven.\\

-->'''Palom''': You know what fire is?
-->'''Leonora''': No, what is it?
-->'''Palom''': Its a fire attack.

* The majority of Samus' lines in ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'' has her restating something she has just been told or stating something that the player has just seen.

--> '''Setsumi:''' "Well, you're a devoted Christian, right?"
--> '''Himeko:''' "Let's see... if you don't like 'fake Catholic'.... 'former Christian' would work too."
--> '''Setsumi (narrating):''' That would mean that in the past it was true, but now it wasn't.

--->Half the school is male.
--->Half the world is male.
--->I'm a male.

--> "DON'T ATTACK WHILE SLEEPING."
--> "THE BURNT TOWER WAS BURNT OFF BY FIRE."
--> "DON'T DO STUPID THING."
--> "THIS IS THE SEA, MONSTER THERE ONLY LIVES IN WATER."

-->'''Omochao:''' Keep your health meter above zero!
-->'''Omochao:''' To jump, press the jump button!
-->'''Omochao''': Be careful not to fall!

-->'''Enemy soldier''' (over radio): Alarm stage decreased, alarm stage back to normal.
-->'''Grímsdóttir''': OK, it looks like the alarm stage went back to normal.

--> '''Announcer''': Intruder Alert! Red Spy in the base!
--> '''Soldier''': A Red Spy is in the base?
--> '''Announcer''': Protect the briefcase!
--> '''Soldier''': We need to protect the briefcase!

--->'''Blue Spy''': Tell me, did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on their way here? ''No?'' Then we still have a problem... (lays a Sniper with a knife in his back on the table) \\

-->'''Slade:''' What the hell happened here?
-->'''Turok:''' ''Looks like the bridge is out.''

--> '''Ace:''' Ah, a human hammer. They're often used to subdue large men like Seven.
--> '''Junpei:''' Ace...
--> '''Ace:''' That was a joke, of course.
--> '''Junpei:''' Thank you, Captain Obvious.

** ''VideoGame/SonicBoom'' turns this UpToEleven, with the characters constantly commenting on obvious things. One of the most often-repeated pearls of wisdom: "Hey look, ramps! We can use these ramps as ramps!"

** And don't forget about ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword Skyward Sword]]'''s Fi, with such "helpful" tips as informing you that a ship is under attack by a monster ''while said monster's tentacles are popping in through the walls and floor all over the place'', and then stopping you again as you're about to exit said ship only to inform you that she detects something outside the ship. And said something is probably the monster. Which you have already been informed of.''Warning you about low hearts and low batteries on your Wiimote in spite of the game already having a sound-effect indicating the former and an icon in the corner indicating the latter.''

* From a gameplay hint in [[LegoAdaptationGame Lego Batman]]: "Toxic waste is poisonous".

* Genis in VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia with his [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway incredible ability to sense mana]]: