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* * NASA rebranded after the Challenger incident. Their new acronym?: '''N'''eeds '''A'''nother '''S'''even '''A'''stronuts.
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* An old joke that gets used to humorously downplay someone's misfortunes is: "Other than that [[UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln Mrs. Lincoln]], how was the play?"
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Removed redundant jokes, put the literal dead baby jokes in their own section, and added one new joke.
Changed line(s) 15,18 (click to see context) from:
* Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
* Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
* Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
to:
* Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips! http://www.And now, [[http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
*htm some literal dead baby humor]];
** Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
** Q: How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box?
--> A: With a blender!
** Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips!
** Q: What's worse than a pile of deadbabies? babies?
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips! http://www.
*
** Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
** Q: How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box?
--> A: With a blender!
** Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender?
--> A: With chips!
** Q: What's worse than a pile of dead
Changed line(s) 20,21 (click to see context) from:
** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
* Q: How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies?
* Q: How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies?
to:
*
** Q: How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies?
Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:
** There's another version of that one: What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan?
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan?
to:
Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
to:
Changed line(s) 28,30 (click to see context) from:
** Or, I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
*** Corollary: And if I did, I wouldn't wank over it every day.
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool?
*** Corollary: And if I did, I wouldn't wank over it every day.
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool?
to:
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
** Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of a pool?
to:
Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
to:
Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3 project?]]
to:
Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
to:
Changed line(s) 40,44 (click to see context) from:
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the swing?
--> A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up?
--> A: Because he has no friends!
* Q: Whats red and white and cries?
--> A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up?
--> A: Because he has no friends!
* Q: Whats red and white and cries?
to:
--> A: Because he has no arms!
--> A: Because he has no friends!
*
Changed line(s) 46 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What is brown and knocks on glass?
to:
Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What is red and cries and revolves around?
to:
Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button?
to:
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles?
to:
Changed line(s) 54 (click to see context) from:
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
to:
Changed line(s) 56,58 (click to see context) from:
** Alternatively: depends how thin you slice 'em.
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner?
--> A: a baby eating razor blades.
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner?
--> A: a baby eating razor blades.
to:
--> A: a baby eating razor blades.
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Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
** Knock knock. Who's there? [[spoiler:Not Susie.]]
to:
** Why didn't anyone help her up? [[spoiler:Because she had no friends.]]
*** Knock knock. Who's there? [[spoiler:Not Susie.]]
*** Knock knock. Who's there? [[spoiler:Not Susie.]]
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Changed line(s) 82,83 (click to see context) from:
* A little boy found a machine gun —
Now the village population is none.
Now the village population is none.
to:
* A little boy found a machine gun —
— Now the village population is none.
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Changed line(s) 72,76 (click to see context) from:
** What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair? Rolaids.
** Why is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prudential_Financial Prudential]] insurance going out of business? No one wants a piece of "the rock".[[note]]Prudential's ad campaign in the 1980s was "Get a piece of the rock" - their logo was and still is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_of_Gibraltar Rock of Gibraltar]].[[/note]]
** What do Rock Hudson and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len_Bias Len Bias]] have in common? They both died from bad crack.
** Q: Why did they bury Rock Hudson face down? A: So his friends would recognize him.
** Q: What`s the difference between Staten Island and Rock Hudson? A: The first is a ferry terminal, the second a terminal fairy.
** Why is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prudential_Financial Prudential]] insurance going out of business? No one wants a piece of "the rock".[[note]]Prudential's ad campaign in the 1980s was "Get a piece of the rock" - their logo was and still is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_of_Gibraltar Rock of Gibraltar]].[[/note]]
** What do Rock Hudson and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len_Bias Len Bias]] have in common? They both died from bad crack.
** Q: Why did they bury Rock Hudson face down? A: So his friends would recognize him.
** Q: What`s the difference between Staten Island and Rock Hudson? A: The first is a ferry terminal, the second a terminal fairy.
to:
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
-->What he thought was [[labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]!
to:
-->What he thought was [[labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] H[[subscript:2]]0 [[labelnote:*]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric H[[subscript:2]]S0[[subscript:4]] [[labelnote:*]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]!
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
-->What he thought was [[labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]
to:
-->What he thought was [[labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]acid[[/labelnote]]!
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
-->What he thought was [[Labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[[[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]
to:
-->What he thought was [[Labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] [[labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[[[labelnote:H2S04 [[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]
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Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.
to:
* Black comedy is like food.food (or adequate medical care, or something else vital). Not everyone gets it.
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* Crossing over with lab safety:
-->Billy had a tummy ache, but he don't no more!
-->What he thought was [[Labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[[[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]
-->Billy had a tummy ache, but he don't no more!
-->What he thought was [[Labelnote:H20]]water[[/labelnote]] was [[[[labelnote:H2S04 ]]sulphuric acid[[/labelnote]]
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Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
--->A: A Baby in the microwave oven
to:
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* Muscular dystrophy patients are playing hide and seek in the hospital: "Johnny, where are you?" / "I'm here, behind this broomstick!" / "Hey, didn't we have an agreement not to hide behind thick objects?"
* A new prisoner is asked, "So how long are you in for?". He replies, "Twenty years." The veteran prisoner is surprised: "Twenty?? What on earth could you have done?" The new man replies indignantly, "I did nothing! Honest!" The veteran says, "But the sentence for doing nothing is only ten years."
* An old woman stands in the market with a “Chernobyl mushrooms for sale" sign. A man goes up to her and demands: "Hey, what are you doing? Who's going to buy Chernobyl mushrooms?” / “Well, lots of people. Some for their boss, others for their mother-in-law...”
* A little boy found a machine gun —
Now the village population is none.
* A new prisoner is asked, "So how long are you in for?". He replies, "Twenty years." The veteran prisoner is surprised: "Twenty?? What on earth could you have done?" The new man replies indignantly, "I did nothing! Honest!" The veteran says, "But the sentence for doing nothing is only ten years."
* An old woman stands in the market with a “Chernobyl mushrooms for sale" sign. A man goes up to her and demands: "Hey, what are you doing? Who's going to buy Chernobyl mushrooms?” / “Well, lots of people. Some for their boss, others for their mother-in-law...”
* A little boy found a machine gun —
Now the village population is none.
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* What is common with black humour and unvaccinated children? [[Spoiler: Neither will ever grow old!]]
to:
* What is common with black humour and unvaccinated children? [[Spoiler: [[spoiler: Neither will ever grow old!]]old.]]
Added DiffLines:
* "What if my parachute doesn't open?" "You have the reserve canopy." "And what if that doesn't open either?" "Well, you have the rest of your life time to learn to fly without wings".
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* "Mommy mommy, is it still a long way to Italy?" ''Shut up and swim!''
* What is common with black humour and unvaccinated children? [[Spoiler: Neither will ever grow old!]]
* What is common with black humour and unvaccinated children? [[Spoiler: Neither will ever grow old!]]
Added DiffLines:
* Q: What is red and cries and revolves around?
--->A: A Baby in the microwave oven
--->A: A Baby in the microwave oven
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Changed line(s) 73 (click to see context) from:
** Q: What`s the worst thing about getting AIDS? A: Convincing your parents you're Haitian.
to:
** Q: What`s the worst thing about getting AIDS? A: Convincing your parents you're Haitian.Haitian.
----
----
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Changed line(s) 72,74 (click to see context) from:
** There's one joke that may well have been in part responsible for the public shift in perception of the AIDS epidemic:
---> Q: What does [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Johnson Magic]] stand for?
---> A: My Ass Got Infected, Coach
---> Q: What does [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Johnson Magic]] stand for?
---> A: My Ass Got Infected, Coach
to:
** There's one joke that may well have been in part responsible for the public shift in perception of the AIDS epidemic:
--->Q: What does [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Johnson Magic]] stand for?
--->for? A: My Ass Got Infected, Coach
--->
--->
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Changed line(s) 63 (click to see context) from:
* "Dad, why are you putting up the Christmas tree now? It's July!" "Well, sport, I'm willing to wait until December if you are, but your bone cancer has other ideas."
to:
* "Dad, why are you putting up the Christmas tree now? It's July!" "Well, sport, I'm willing to wait until December if you are, but your bone cancer has other ideas.""
* HIV/AIDS jokes are this by nature.
** "Why haven't they found a cure for AIDS yet? They can't get the lab rats to buttfuck."
** Creator/RockHudson was a heartthrob of the 1950s and '60s. He was the first major celebrity to die from the disease, and his homosexuality, which he had worked hard to keep quiet, came out when he was diagnosed with AIDS.
** What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair? Rolaids.
** Why is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prudential_Financial Prudential]] insurance going out of business? No one wants a piece of "the rock".[[note]]Prudential's ad campaign in the 1980s was "Get a piece of the rock" - their logo was and still is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_of_Gibraltar Rock of Gibraltar]].[[/note]]
** What do Rock Hudson and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len_Bias Len Bias]] have in common? They both died from bad crack.
** Q: Why did they bury Rock Hudson face down? A: So his friends would recognize him.
** Q: What`s the difference between Staten Island and Rock Hudson? A: The first is a ferry terminal, the second a terminal fairy.
** There's one joke that may well have been in part responsible for the public shift in perception of the AIDS epidemic:
---> Q: What does [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Johnson Magic]] stand for?
---> A: My Ass Got Infected, Coach
** Q: What`s the worst thing about getting AIDS? A: Convincing your parents you're Haitian.
* HIV/AIDS jokes are this by nature.
** "Why haven't they found a cure for AIDS yet? They can't get the lab rats to buttfuck."
** Creator/RockHudson was a heartthrob of the 1950s and '60s. He was the first major celebrity to die from the disease, and his homosexuality, which he had worked hard to keep quiet, came out when he was diagnosed with AIDS.
** What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair? Rolaids.
** Why is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prudential_Financial Prudential]] insurance going out of business? No one wants a piece of "the rock".[[note]]Prudential's ad campaign in the 1980s was "Get a piece of the rock" - their logo was and still is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_of_Gibraltar Rock of Gibraltar]].[[/note]]
** What do Rock Hudson and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len_Bias Len Bias]] have in common? They both died from bad crack.
** Q: Why did they bury Rock Hudson face down? A: So his friends would recognize him.
** Q: What`s the difference between Staten Island and Rock Hudson? A: The first is a ferry terminal, the second a terminal fairy.
** There's one joke that may well have been in part responsible for the public shift in perception of the AIDS epidemic:
---> Q: What does [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Johnson Magic]] stand for?
---> A: My Ass Got Infected, Coach
** Q: What`s the worst thing about getting AIDS? A: Convincing your parents you're Haitian.
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Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
* Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box.
to:
* Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box.box.
* "Dad, why are you putting up the Christmas tree now? It's July!" "Well, sport, I'm willing to wait until December if you are, but your bone cancer has other ideas."
* "Dad, why are you putting up the Christmas tree now? It's July!" "Well, sport, I'm willing to wait until December if you are, but your bone cancer has other ideas."
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repeat
Deleted line(s) 13 (click to see context) :
* How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? [[spoiler:zero.]]
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Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.
to:
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.it.
* Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box.
* Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box.
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* How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? [[spoiler:zero.]]
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* Where do suicide bombers go when they die? [[spoiler:everywhere.]]
* What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? [[spoiler:the roof of his mouth.]]
* The new crematorium in down gives discounts to burn victims.
* What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? [[spoiler:the roof of his mouth.]]
* The new crematorium in down gives discounts to burn victims.
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Changed line(s) 58 (click to see context) from:
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it..
to:
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it..it.
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
--> A: A Sandy Hook survivor.
to:
--> A: A Sandy Hook survivor.survivor.
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it..
* Black comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it..
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Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
--> A: [[UsefulNotes/IrishPotatoFamine Zero]].
to:
--> A: [[UsefulNotes/IrishPotatoFamine Zero]].Zero]].
* Q: What do you call a 7 year old with no friends?
--> A: A Sandy Hook survivor.
* Q: What do you call a 7 year old with no friends?
--> A: A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
--> "Well, ''my'' mom gave birth to me and my brother in a Medicaid ward. We BOTH ended up in trash cans."
to:
--> "Well, ''my'' mom gave birth to me and my brother in a Medicaid ward. We BOTH ended up in trash cans.""
* Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
--> A: [[UsefulNotes/IrishPotatoFamine Zero]].
* Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
--> A: [[UsefulNotes/IrishPotatoFamine Zero]].
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Non-baby jokes removed...
Changed line(s) 10,14 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender? A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
** Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
*** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
** Sadly some dead baby jokes require visual pantomime. On the other hand...
* How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies? With a pitchfork!
** Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
*** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
** Sadly some dead baby jokes require visual pantomime. On the other hand...
* How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies? With a pitchfork!
to:
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender? blender?
--> A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
** * Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? babies?
--> A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
*** ** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
** Sadly some dead baby jokes require visual pantomime. On the other hand...
* Q: How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies? babies?
--> A: With a pitchfork!
--> A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
--> A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
--> A: With a pitchfork!
Changed line(s) 16,17 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan? A: One baby in five trashcans.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? A: I don't own a Ferrari.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? A: I don't own a Ferrari.
to:
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan? trashcan?
--> A: One baby in five trashcans.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and aFerrari? Ferrari?
--> A: I don't own a Ferrari.
--> A: One baby in five trashcans.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a
--> A: I don't own a Ferrari.
Changed line(s) 20,35 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with its floaties slashed. Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of a pool? A: Floaties with their baby slashed.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3 project?]] A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the swing? A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up? A: Because he has no friends!
* In the same vein as the above: Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? A: She has no arms or legs.
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
** What did Sarah get for Christmas? Cancer.
* Relatively similar and equally repellent are Helen Keller jokes: Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? A: By reading the waffle iron. And countless others.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall ? A: Depends on how hard you throw.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3 project?]] A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the swing? A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up? A: Because he has no friends!
* In the same vein as the above: Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? A: She has no arms or legs.
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
** What did Sarah get for Christmas? Cancer.
* Relatively similar and equally repellent are Helen Keller jokes: Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? A: By reading the waffle iron. And countless others.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall ? A: Depends on how hard you throw.
to:
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool? pool?
--> A: A baby with its floatiesslashed. slashed.
** Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of apool? pool?
--> A: Floaties with their baby slashed.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and atrampoline? trampoline?
--> A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3project?]] project?]]
--> A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and arock? rock?
--> A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off theswing? swing?
--> A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to getup? up?
--> A: Because he has no friends!
*In the same vein as the above: Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Whats red and white and cries?
--> A:She has no arms or legs.
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
**A skinned Baby with salt.
* Q: Whatdid Sarah get for Christmas? Cancer.is brown and knocks on glass?
--> A: A Baby in the oven.
* Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button?
--> A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles?
--> A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Relatively similar and equally repellent are Helen Keller jokes: Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? A: By reading the waffle iron. And countless others.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall ? wall?
--> A: Depends on how hard you throw.
--> A: A baby with its floaties
** Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of a
--> A: Floaties with their baby slashed.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a
--> A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3
--> A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a
--> A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the
--> A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get
--> A: Because he has no friends!
*
--> A:
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
**
* Q: What
--> A: A Baby in the oven.
* Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button?
--> A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles?
--> A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
--> A: Depends on how hard you throw.
Changed line(s) 37,40 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner? A: a baby eating razor blades.
* What's red and green and red and green and red and green? A frog in a blender.
* P1: What does a dead baby smell like? P2: I don't know. P1: *Puts two fingers under P2's nose*
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
* What's red and green and red and green and red and green? A frog in a blender.
* P1: What does a dead baby smell like? P2: I don't know. P1: *Puts two fingers under P2's nose*
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
to:
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner? corner?
--> A: a baby eating razor blades.
*What's red Two people are comparing how much their lives suck:
--> "My mom gave birth to me andgreen and red and green and red and green? A frog my sister in a blender.
* P1: What does a deaduniversity bathroom in her prom dress. My baby smell like? P2: I don't know. P1: *Puts two fingers under P2's nose*
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't screamsister ended up in the oven.trash can."
--> "Well, ''my'' mom gave birth to me and my brother in a Medicaid ward. We BOTH ended up in trash cans."
--> A: a baby eating razor blades.
*
--> "My mom gave birth to me and
* P1: What does a dead
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream
--> "Well, ''my'' mom gave birth to me and my brother in a Medicaid ward. We BOTH ended up in trash cans."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Not example of Black Comedy
Changed line(s) 40,41 (click to see context) from:
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
* On Reddit's /r/[=EnoughTrumpSpam=], if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the [=AutoModerator=] will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
* On Reddit's /r/[=EnoughTrumpSpam=], if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the [=AutoModerator=] will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
to:
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
* On Reddit's /r/[=EnoughTrumpSpam=], if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the [=AutoModerator=] will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."oven.
* On Reddit's /r/[=EnoughTrumpSpam=], if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the [=AutoModerator=] will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* Why did Susie fall of the swing? [[spoiler:Because she didn't have any arms.]]
to:
* Why did Susie fall of off the swing? [[spoiler:Because she didn't have any arms.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
* On Reddit's /r/EnoughTrumpSpam, if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the AutoModerator will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
to:
* On Reddit's /r/EnoughTrumpSpam, /r/[=EnoughTrumpSpam=], if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the AutoModerator [=AutoModerator=] will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* A joke that originated at CTY in 2013 (delivery must be in a monotone for the desired effect):
--> "A man walks into a bar. He is impaled by the bar. People call for a medic, but he is already dead. The End."
* The day after his wife disappeared in a boating accident, an Ocean City man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maryland State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Rice, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Rice shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Rice said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the Assawoman Bay near the Rte 90 Bridge." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Rice. "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 huge and 6 jumbo size blue crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Rice demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "[[CrossesTheLineTwice We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!]]"
* David was tasked to [[TwentyBearAsses collect 100 foreskins from Philistines]] to prove his worth to marry King Saul's daughter. When he returns with 200 foreskins, everybody sways between admiration and horror. When asked how he did it he answers: "Well it went much more smoothly when I realized that I could kill them beforehand."
* A woman on an ocean liner asked a crew member, "Do ships like this sink very often?" "No, ma'am," he replied, "Only once."
* What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? [[spoiler:The wheelchair!]]
* Why did Susie fall of the swing? [[spoiler:Because she didn't have any arms.]]
** Knock knock. Who's there? [[spoiler:Not Susie.]]
* Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender? A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
** Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
*** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
** Sadly some dead baby jokes require visual pantomime. On the other hand...
* How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies? With a pitchfork!
** There's another version of that one: What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan? A: One baby in five trashcans.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? A: I don't own a Ferrari.
** Or, I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
*** Corollary: And if I did, I wouldn't wank over it every day.
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with its floaties slashed. Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of a pool? A: Floaties with their baby slashed.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3 project?]] A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the swing? A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up? A: Because he has no friends!
* In the same vein as the above: Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? A: She has no arms or legs.
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
** What did Sarah get for Christmas? Cancer.
* Relatively similar and equally repellent are Helen Keller jokes: Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? A: By reading the waffle iron. And countless others.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall ? A: Depends on how hard you throw.
** Alternatively: depends how thin you slice 'em.
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner? A: a baby eating razor blades.
* What's red and green and red and green and red and green? A frog in a blender.
* P1: What does a dead baby smell like? P2: I don't know. P1: *Puts two fingers under P2's nose*
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
* On Reddit's /r/EnoughTrumpSpam, if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the AutoModerator will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
--> "A man walks into a bar. He is impaled by the bar. People call for a medic, but he is already dead. The End."
* The day after his wife disappeared in a boating accident, an Ocean City man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maryland State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Rice, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Rice shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Rice said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the Assawoman Bay near the Rte 90 Bridge." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Rice. "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 huge and 6 jumbo size blue crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Rice demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "[[CrossesTheLineTwice We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!]]"
* David was tasked to [[TwentyBearAsses collect 100 foreskins from Philistines]] to prove his worth to marry King Saul's daughter. When he returns with 200 foreskins, everybody sways between admiration and horror. When asked how he did it he answers: "Well it went much more smoothly when I realized that I could kill them beforehand."
* A woman on an ocean liner asked a crew member, "Do ships like this sink very often?" "No, ma'am," he replied, "Only once."
* What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? [[spoiler:The wheelchair!]]
* Why did Susie fall of the swing? [[spoiler:Because she didn't have any arms.]]
** Knock knock. Who's there? [[spoiler:Not Susie.]]
* Black humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised baby.
* Q: What is the best way to get 100 dead babies out of a blender? A: With chips! http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/introduction.htm
** Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom of the pile.
*** What’s worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It succeeded. What's worse than that? It went back for seconds. What’s worse than that? Music/JustinBieber, duh.
** Sadly some dead baby jokes require visual pantomime. On the other hand...
* How do you empty a garbage truck full of dead babies? With a pitchfork!
** There's another version of that one: What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
* Q: What's worse than five babies in a trashcan? A: One baby in five trashcans.
* Q: What's the difference between one hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? A: I don't own a Ferrari.
** Or, I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
*** Corollary: And if I did, I wouldn't wank over it every day.
* Q: What's pink and orange and floats on the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with its floaties slashed. Q: What's pink, red, and orange and floats on the top of a pool? A: Floaties with their baby slashed.
* Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? A: You take off your boots before jumping on the trampoline.
* Q: What's the best way for Capcom to greenlight the [[VideoGame/MegamanLegends Megaman Legends 3 project?]] A: Simple. Dress two aborted fetuses as Roll and Megaman Volnutt.
* Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? A: The baby can be raped!
* Q: Why did that kid fall off the swing? A: Because he has no arms!
** Q: And why did nobody help him to get up? A: Because he has no friends!
* In the same vein as the above: Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? A: She has no arms or legs.
** Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
** What did Sarah get for Christmas? Cancer.
* Relatively similar and equally repellent are Helen Keller jokes: Q: How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? A: By reading the waffle iron. And countless others.
* Q: Whats red and white and cries? A: A skinned Baby with salt.
** Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: An attack dog on a playground.
** Q: What is brown and knocks on glass? A: A Baby in the oven.
** Q: What is rosy and turns red on the push of a button? A: A baby in a mixer.
* Q: How do you make a baby stop crawling in circles ? A: You nail the other hand to the floor.
* Q: How many babies do you need to paint a wall ? A: Depends on how hard you throw.
** Alternatively: depends how thin you slice 'em.
* Q: What's red and pink and sits in the corner? A: a baby eating razor blades.
* What's red and green and red and green and red and green? A frog in a blender.
* P1: What does a dead baby smell like? P2: I don't know. P1: *Puts two fingers under P2's nose*
* Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza won't scream in the oven.
* On Reddit's /r/EnoughTrumpSpam, if you type the phrase "ethnic group", singular or plural, then the AutoModerator will reply with, in SJW-speak, "Imagine being so triggered by other ethnic groups existing, you try to turn the entire country into a safe space."
