Funny / Torchwood: The Lost Files

• From The Devil and Miss Carew, while Jack and Ianto are driving along a country road;
  Ianto: Buckle up, this could get bumpy.
  Jack: [Laughs] Oh Ianto, I love it when you talk dirty.
  • Gwen's fight with the titular octogenarian. Mostly because she gets her ass kicked by an 83-year-old.
  Gwen: You're like super-gran!
• From the radio drama Lost Souls. It's mostly a rather sad episode, but Ianto gets a moment when he and Gwen are investigating a Hadron collider tunnel. On bikes.
  • "My bike's got a bell." *ding*
• Before it takes a turn for the dark, the first half of Submission:
  • Jack's entire reason for a mission being he thinks it'll be fun to beat UNIT to it.
  • And then deciding later working with UNIT can get him a cool sub, but especially how he goes securing the deal:
  Jack: I pulled rank with UNIT. I mentioned The Doctor 57 times.
  • Weevils can't swim
  • Jack changes up his standard introduction:
  Gwen: Admiral Jack Harkness?
  Jack: I was due for a promotion.