Funny / Bullets over Broadway

• Harvey Fierstein steals every scene he's in.
  Partygoer: Helen has such a-a-a... a new vitality. Even her face looks so smooth.
  Sid: I know. The monkey glands are working.
• Helen: Look, I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve.
  Sid: You're talking Chinese New Year's.
  Helen: Naturally. Still, that's two days, Sid! You know how long that is for me?
• David's near Spit Take right after Helen makes this corker of a line:
  Helen: You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No... not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.