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cgsilverscreen2020 Whaddya say? Since: Jun, 2010
Whaddya say?
08/05/2012 02:34:57 •••

The only mouth open in the entire theater was Kristen Stewart's

If you want to go see this movie, eh...don't. It is very artsy, and I respect that, but it's so artsy that the film loses its edge and its story. It's like if Alfonso Cuaron went nuts. There are tons of things that are never explained. The milk bath scene? What the HELL was that?! The stag turning into birds?! Finn's hand melting? Was that a hallucination? His hand appears fine later on, so now we have inconsistencies! The scene where the queen turned into crows was a Big Lipped Alligator Moment. Nobody mentioned it afterwards! And don't get me started on Kristen Stewart's underacting. That "motivational speech" near the end literally made me facepalm and lean to the side. Also, you could count the moments where she had her mouth closed on one hand! The queen was good, except for those times she overacted. The theater that I was in laughed during the scenes in which she overacted. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I will tell you this movie was a huge disappointment. However if I did have to bring up one good thing about this movie it would have to be the score. The opening music is great, and I also liked the set design and the visuals, even though the visuals were never explained. If you like a good plot, good casting, good acting, and things being explained to you, stay away. Otherwise, this movie is for you.

bink1227 Since: Jun, 2012
06/16/2012 00:00:00

I thought the milk scene was to show that the queen was extremely selfish. At the beginning of that scene, you see milk flowing out of the castle, and people fighting with buckets to get at it. She has an "am I not generous" moment with Finn. Then it is shown that she's *bathing* in the "milk" the people outside are drinking. And considering the way that stuff coats her body, I highly doubt it was actually milk that comes out of a cow or other herbivore. I imagine it more along the lines of, "SOYLENT WHITE IS PEOPLE!" Basically the whole thing was like, "Oh, the queen provides for the villagers...except that she's bathing in this stuff, and now that I think about it, WHAT IS THAT STUFF?!"

RE: Finn's hand. When Snow White goes into the forest initially and freaks out, she falls into a patch of clam-like things that release black spores. After that, she basically starts tripping balls and imagines all kinds of evil things that are trying to kill her. Later, before the troll, she imagines that the branches she has gotten stuck in have turned to snakes. The huntsman tells her to pull it together and that the forest prays on peoples' weakness. Before Finn imagines his hand melting, he falls into a huge patch of the clam-like things and basically inhales a ton of the spores.

Bottom line: black spores = LSD.

It's not really an inconsistency because the spores are shown to be hallucinogenic before Finn's experience.

I went into this movie expecting really bad things, so I was actually surprised that the movie just wasn't that bad... It's definitely so good it's average. The visuals were okay, but they're traceable to other movies that were better (The Neverending Story, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, LOTR, etc). The inner workings of the film were pretty consistent for the most part, though.

marcellX Since: Feb, 2011
06/16/2012 00:00:00

^ Might had been trying to avoid Reality Is Unrealistic, since in almost all milk commercials, what they're actually pouring is paint mixed with water. Milk is never that thick.

bink1227 Since: Jun, 2012
06/16/2012 00:00:00

It's possible...but Solent White is definitely creepier! :)

maninahat Since: Apr, 2009
06/20/2012 00:00:00

I went into this movie open minded. The only preconceptions I had was that Kristen Stewart was going to be terrible, but Theron might make up for it. She didn't. Her performance was more hammy than Miss Piggy. "ARGGHHH!!! YOOOOU FAAAAAILED??!! FIIIIIIIIIND HER!!!!" Good lord.

The movie is pretty, but that is all there is to it. The Dwarves get sold short, everyone else sucked in the acting department, the story didn't make a lot of sense, and Kristen Stewart delivered an inspirational speech that was somehow even worse than the one Keira Knightley once delivered to a boat load of rapist burglars.

Book me today! I also review weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs.
OccasionalDragon Since: Dec, 1969
07/08/2012 00:00:00

The black spores were implied as very hallucinogenic, but I feel like it took a while and another character inhaling the natural LSD for the audience to actually catch on and say, "Oh! Those grabby trees and evil Zergy-scarab-bugs aren't real!" I kind of shook my head at Kristin Stewart's open mouth. My mouth tends to drop open a lot, sure, but I CLOSE IT while I am acting. I responded to the milk bath the same way as everyone else: WAT. What is this???? A show of power? A filler scene? An excuse for nudity? EXPLAIN, PEOPLE! Another thing: the Mirror. It was not an important character (yes, I count it as a character), but it was almost TOO effing awesome. I almost wanted to shout at the movie makers, "You can't just flippin' give the audience this crazy-epic magical thing that looks so badass that everyone wants one and show it a grand total of TWO SCENES!!!!!" T His is probably the only time I will ever say this ever, but I honestly wish the Mirror had been less amazeballs. As for the story, it was ehh. I failed to see the Snow White part of it a few times, and I wish the dwarves had more screen time. It took all of my willpower to keep from plugging my ears when The Corny Speech to End All Corny Speeches began. It was honestly the worst I've ever heard. Also, I felt that the Snow White Resurrection via True Love's Kiss was both forced and expected. Finally, a matter no one has yet addressed: What the flipping heck is a girl who has never ONCE IN HER LIFE donned very heavy armor and picked up a weapon doing at the front lines?! Looking at the storyline, I estimate she had a grand total of...ooh, maybe an hour to learn sword fighting before the Epic Confrontation. To be fair, she may have had time offscreen during the Gone Traveling Montage, but if she did, I really wish they'd shown us. I do realize that most of Queen vs. Snow White combat was shield-bashing for the latter and curbstomping for the former, but seriously. Damn, this review sounded negative. I actually enjoyed the movie, I really did, but I suppose I like ranting to the Internet too much. :P One specific thing that made me giggle was the bit of foreshadowing at the beginning: "She escaped with a NAIL?! Give her a sword and she'd take my kingdom!" Guess what happens at the end of the movie? All in all, a decent movie, but not a great one. The best part was the Florence+the Machine song at the end.

Blackribbon Since: Oct, 2010
07/24/2012 00:00:00

The milk bath was explained later. The spell that made Ravenna immortal involved milk, so she probably has some connection to it.

Ansem555 Since: Aug, 2012
08/05/2012 00:00:00

I'm surprised that you don't know why nobody mentioned the raven thing. Let's see... I dunno... Because everyone knows she's magic? It'd be rather redundant to ask 'what was that?' when everyone knows 'hey this crazy psycho witch woman is magic!'

If the mind and heart are free, what about the soul?

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